artdivadej

[artdivadej]

p iracy is BAD!!!!!!!1!

i think piracy is EVIL!!!

ANYONE that pirates ANYTHING should go to JAIL!!

NOBODY should EVER take this base64 string (aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZvbGRlci9NQTB4aElZSSNQX3BqNl82SkxkaFdCcl9odllqSm13) and put it into the converter at https://www.base64decode.org/ to get all the major adobe programs for free! that would be a crime!

ANYONE that pirates adobes 500 dollar programs should be ASHAMED!

that would just be evil!

[artdivadej]

life's too short to write for an imaginary critic that you fear will hate what you wrote

[artdivadej]

[artdivadej]

Heyyy👋👋

Are you going to be continuing the Survivor's remorse fic? No pressure, I just found it absolutely amazing😍😍.

Bye now🥸🥸

Of course! It's updated biweekly on my Wattpad 😊

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse (XIX)

Part One | Part 11+

Peeta

After 30 minutes of more of his time wasted, Peeta let out a sigh so loud and deep, it shook the large table his cheek rested on.

"You brought me out of my room.... for this? Can I have my morphling and go back to my nightmares in peace now?"

"Peeta, is there something you'd like to add?", Plutarch asked chipperly.

Peeta turned his head so that his right cheek rested on the table and he was looking over the military and diplomatic officials of 13. All of which were looking at him with differing expressions., none of which he cared to decipher.

"No. Which is why I want to know why I'm here. I have no reason to be at another war mongering table, as it makes its plans, to do just what it was made to. So again....why am I here?"

"We would like to bring you in and involve you in the taking back of the Districts. Haymitch has informed us that you've agreed to become a part of the rebellion", Plutarch explains gesturing between Peeta's slumped form and Haymitch sitting directly across from him, trying not to appear as though he was sleeping for half the meeting.

"If Haymitch led you to believe I wanted any part in the planning of killing innocents, he lied", Peeta scoffed still refusing to lift his cheek from the table. "I've had my fill and unlike all of you, with your guns and bombs, it's a bit bloody and personal for my taste"

"War is never personal", the snow haired woman he'd come to know as Coin, spoke coolly.

Now Peeta was enraged and repulsed, his head lifted quickly from the table, eyes locking with the cunning leader. He hated how both she and Snow had such bright white hair, though hers had streaks of deep grey that matched her name. Peeta did not like this woman or her callous attitude towards life in the slightest.

"Murder is always personal", Peeta rumbled so lowly, it was practically a growl as his eyes held hers, refusing to break contact with their soulless depths. They were such a light grey they were almost as light as her snow-white hair. Even her lifeless eyes irritated him. "Just because you have the luxury of commanding other people to do it for you, doesn't mean it isn't personal. People aren't just numbers. Every. Single. Life. It was someone with hopes, dreams, family and love to give. You clearly have been underground with your perfect little soldier fucking fantasy world where everyone falls in line, living the life you designed for them. Come topside and join us in the real world, where the children are forced to kill each other and watch the life leave their eyes as your hands are covered in their blood, clawing at you to get just one more breath. Not with guns. Not a bomb that you can drop from miles away, to reap the fruits of your deadly gifts with no guilt as you watch it melt the flesh from women and children! No! We are forced to murder each other with our bare hands, while all of you sit here in your cozy little fuckin pods ordering us to do it for you!", Peeta roared now on his feet, having thrown his chair at the wall opposite him, Haymitch having long since ducked seeing this outburst coming.

When it hit the wall, Peeta pushed away from the table and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance, one hand in his pocket and the other tugging at his hair.

"I told you", Haymitch shrugs at the rest of the diplomats who were looking to him for an explanation. "A teenager he may be in age, but that is a man on the brink. And he is ready to burn the world to match the flames of pain it's dished out to him from day one. He doesn't give a shit about your battle plans. If it doesn't involve a way to get her, he could truly not give a damn"

"So, what do you propose we do to make him more amicable?"

"Stop wasting his time. It's only pissing him off. You want a voice for the rebellion that the people resonate with, you have it and you're wasting his time with strategy meetings about things he'll never need to know about. Use his voice. His intellect. Peeta isn't the type of person that revels in the killing of others. He wants peace, to be able to love and live free. That's all he's ever wanted for himself and everyone else. If it's not about that, he just Does. Not. Care", Haymitch shrugs, chewing on his lollipop and doodling on the paper in front of him, still not looking at the rest of the room. He was annoyed that he had to be at the meetings, he couldn't imagine what the pointless chatter did to Peeta.

"A voice. You want us to let him talk directly to the people? You think that would work?"

"He's had it with the bureaucratic politics. All a Victor cares about is action. Words have meant very little to any of us", Finnick tacked on, popping a sugar cube in his mouth, adding his own doodles to Haymitch's paper. "If you want all our cooperation, give us yours"

"Here, here", Beetee slapped his hand to the table in agreement.

"Then, what would you all suggest?"

****

Peeta sat on his bed and rolled the pearl he'd given you on the beach across his lips. He remembered with a deep sadness your last words to him when you'd placed it back into his hands that night of the Quarter Quell.

"Give it back to me when I come back. Remember, we protect each other?"

"Always" Peeta nodded, his hand on your hip and forehead resting against yours.

-Excerpt from

Survivor's Remorse

Chapter 19. Damn Diplomacy!

Available on Wattpad: MADDINK0318

#peeta mellark #peeta smut #the hunger games peeta #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta x reader #i love peeta #survivors remorse #thg peeta #fanfiction #survivor's remorse #hunger games fanfiction #thg fanfiction #smut fanfiction #fanfiction writer

[artdivadej]

Survivors Remorse (XVIII)

Part One | Part 11+

When Peeta first cracked his eyes, he couldn't help the small moan of pain that left his lips, his ribs were on fire. He knew without a doubt that they were definitely bruised. As his vision focused, he took in his surroundings, realizing that he was on a hovercraft surrounded by empty beds. 

Where were you? 

Peeta whispered your name lowly, trying to find you without alerting the Peacekeepers that would undoubtedly be outside the doors to this makeshift hospital room. There was a low murmuring going on, just beyond the door, and it made him realize that there was no one standing in front of it.

Peeta grabbed a scalpel, slipping it in beneath his suit at the wrist. Taking the needle from his arm and wrapping the cord around his wrist, in case he needed to strangle anyone standing between him and you. As he crept closer to the door, he recognized one of the deep and irritated low tones to be Haymitch just beyond it.

"We have to wait to tell him. There's just too much for him to take in right now. It could break him" "Or give him reserves he didn't know he had", a familiar but unknown voice chimed in. "That boy is still a child!" "Who has lived through more, than any adult he's ever met, will ever have to. He can do this" "You don't know him the way Haymitch does. He's gotten closer to those two in the last year than anyone else will ever be able to. He knows them, practically raised them over these last two years", Finnick's low, exhausted voice chimed in.

What were Finnick and Haymitch doing on the hovercraft? Were they talking about him? Peeta slowly pushed open the door, his eyes immediately landing on Finnick standing opposite him, a hologram of schematics displayed on the table between them. Finnick was wearing an opened, deep blue cotton button-up, bandages and bindings wrapped around most of his upper body. His left forearm was wrapped identically to the bandaged around Peeta's left arm, Finnick's left hand was gripping the table so hard that his knuckles were white.

"Welcome back", Haymitch sighs running a hand through his weirdly clean hair. "Where is she?", Peeta rumbles so lowly, it's barely heard by the other men in the room. "She blew the forcefield and was knocked the complete opposite direction of the extraction. You and Finnick had been fortunately blown right on top of one another, so we managed to get you both at the same time. Unfortunately, she and Johanna were in the opposite direction" the man Peeta recognized as the Head Gamer Maker Plutarch, explained as if he was discussing what day of the week it was.

Peeta was beginning to see red, as he fought back the nightmares that had plagued him since the first games, attempting to make their way to his waking world. "Where. Is. She?" , he hissed one more time, his finger letting the scalpel slip into his hand, edging dangerously closer towards him.

He would gut him like a fish if you weren't already waiting for him at whatever safe house they were bringing him to.

"We got you and Finnick's trackers out. They still have theirs in. We were almost blown out of the sky trying to get them too", Plutarch keeps explaining, not seeming to understand the level of danger he was in. "Peeta" Finnick called lowly, seeing the warning signs of a violent outburst. "They're in the Capitol"

Peeta lunged for Haymitch before Plutarch could finish his sentence, hands locking around his throat, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"You fucking liar! You swore to me! You fucking swore you would save her!", he roared, as Finnick and Plutarch finally managed to ply his hands away from Haymitch's neck, three of his nails marring his cheek when he attempted to lunge back, but Finnick's full nelson restrained him from doing more damage. "I tried Peeta!" "You were supposed to choose her! You were supposed to save her, not me!" Peeta wailed, his knees giving way, as Finnick slipped a sedative in the side of his neck. "I've got you Peeta. I've got you" "You promised" Peeta moaned weakly, his vision fading as grief consumed him.

He was filled with absolute terror. The nightmares that he could always keep out of his waking world were becoming his reality.

 Snow would kill you.

 Peeta would never get to hold you ever again.

-Excerpt from Survivor's Remorse Ch.18 now up on Wattpad Maddink0318

#i love peeta #peeta smut #peeta mellark #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta my beloved #peeta x reader #thg peeta #the hunger games peeta #survivors remorse #hunger games fanfiction

[artdivadej]

people are so weird about self insert ocs actually. like why wouldn't you want a made up little guy who's like you except cooler and they get to live all your fantasies? what are you afraid of? having fun? free yourself

[artdivadej]

Maomao going meow meow

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse (XVII)

Part one

Part 11+ 

  Peeta 

"Peeta look, I need you to understand something about your gal...and you need to keep an open mind", Haymitch sighed scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"There's not much that would surprise me at this point"

"He says that now", Johanna snorts with a wicked grin.

"Shut it Johanna", Haymitch hisses, before turning back to Peeta "Good to know. But ummm. Shit", Haymitch fumbled.

"Haymitch is it some big secret or something I'm not supposed to know about?" Peeta asked looking back and forth between him and Johanna, knowing you regarded her as a sister and told her everything. "Is it why she's been avoiding me?"

"It's not that. It's just really personal and I thought...what with you two actually getting on the way you were, it wouldn't be a problem. I didn't think she'd be going through this anymore"

"Is it an episode? Is she alright?", Peeta asked quickly, his voice cracking with fear.

"Not...exactly? It's an episode of sorts. Do you remember her explaining about the splicing that Snow did to her?"

"Yeah. How are they related?"

"The way she asked you to bite her ass before, aint gonna be nothing compared to what she does to you this week", Johanna snickers.

"She can't help that this happens to her, ok boy?", Haymitch growled before pushing on, bringing his flask to his lips.

"Haymitch what's happening to her!", Peeta began to panic in his desperation, his voice rising.

"About twice a year, the feline DNA takes over. She goes through what Beetee calls 'heat'. Before, she'd have to sit in the house for a few weeks to just sweat it out and suffer through it alone. But now...since she's got you back", Haymitch begins, his lips twisting with distaste and discomfort.

"Hey I helped! I sent plenty of toys"

"Heat?", Peeta's brow raises with confusion, not quite understanding the meaning behind the simple word, or why you'd need toys from Johanna.

"Sex boy! Her body forces her into a concupiscent state where she has to copulate. Because she couldn't do it before, she just had to suffer through it. Try and get it out herself. But it's practically a breeding instinct that she can't control"

Peeta felt the blush start from his collar, before it flared up to his hairline. Oh. Johanna's wicked grin only deepened as she watched him realize what he'd be dealing with for the next couple of weeks.

"Now you're getting it boy", Haymitch sighed with exasperation as he took another swig.

"Is it bad?"

"She produces a pheromone that drives her and us wild. People can smell it within a 500-yard radius. It's why her home was sheltered off at the far end of the Victors Village. Its disorienting and raises the testosterone levels of anyone who gets a whiff. Even I can't get near her without affects and I don't find a damn thing about her womanly", he spat with revulsion.

"Hell, I do. I don't mind it. It's gonna make my sex life even hotter!", Johanna smirked.

"Which means?"

"You'll be out of the public eye for the next week or so. It may go faster since she has what she really wants. We'll all keep you both supplied with food and water, but I doubt sweetheart'll let you out that room until it's gone down some. Like I said before, she can't help it. You're all she's ever wanted and I'm sure the heat will only amplify that when she gets a whiff of you. I'm taking a room on the other side of the manor so I can't hear a damn thing I know will be coming out that room. You two are the worst at keeping quiet. And keep that damn window closed! Or else the whole of the damn Justice Hall will be able to smell you two!"

"I'm staying in the same hall. I plan on using you two to make this week pure debauchery with Onyx and Gale. They'll both be showering me in every slutty fantasy I've ever dreamed of. He and they are going to put their names all over this hot bod", Johanna grinned wickedly. "We thank you for your service"

Peeta felt like he would combust if they said another word but, he had one more question.

"Is there a way to stop it? Or at least dull the sense so she can function? I don't like the idea of her suffering"

"You'll be doing your part to stop that all week. In the meantime, here", Haymitch grumbled shoving a familiar thick red notebook into Peeta's hands. He'd seen you with this when you scurried away from him two days ago. "Aurelius wants you to write. As much as you can, when you can. Whether you're clear headed or not. About everything you feel, see and think. The same goes for her. Snow had her file destroyed so she'd have to find all the answers to the splicing that he did by herself. Beetee and Prim have been working hard these past few years to help figure it out. A lot that we've learned has been because of her impulses and responses to things, but this could really help answer a lot of those questions"

"I will"

"Get going. She's been suffering for two days already. Come get me when she's better", He grumbled turning on heel and stomping down the hall. "Say bye bye to that back boy!", he snarked before disappearing around the corner.

"Yeah she's definitely gonna shred your shit", Johanna giggled pushing Peeta towards the hall. "I filed and styled her nails 3 days ago so you shouldn't be too bad. You're welcome loverboy. Now get going. Nothing worse than needing to cum and you can't get your rocks off"

Peeta groaned but made his way towards the bedroom. The idea of being locked away with you for weeks on end, just drowning in your passion wasn't the problem. Everyone in the building knowing about it was. It felt like such an invasion of a world the two of you had always held so private and sacred. Peeta was glad the staff was minimal right now.

Excerpt from Survivor's Remorse ch 17. Heated

Now available on Wattpad

Maddink0318

#i love peeta #peeta smut #peeta mellark #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta my beloved #peeta x reader #thg peeta #the hunger games peeta #team peeta #survivors remorse #hunger games fanfiction #hunger games fanfic

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse has fan art excuse me while I go cry 🥺😻

Every time Peeta is described as “stocky” with “wide shoulders” a fairy gets its wings 🤭

This is based off a scene from @artdivadej ‘s Hunger Games FanFic called “survivor’s remorse” WHICH I LOVE❤️❤️

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse

Part 16

“I was angry and I don’t really remember it all but, I knew it felt good. The more I destroyed, the better I felt. I started to scratch myself because I could feel that I was losing myself, the deeper I slipped into just letting it all out. I kept going in and out of this...trance? I guess you could call it? Of giddy rage. But it felt so good. That couldn’t have been me if I wasn’t really conscious of the whole process, right? Like, the mutt version still has a handle on me in some ways. It’s like, she’ll always be lurking in the back...waiting for the chance to take over again”

“It sounds like you’re boiling, what is actually quite normal PTSD reactions and triggers, in the same pot that your torture was cooked in. They are similar beasts but they are NOT the same”

“Peeta puts up a good front but...he has PTSD from the Quell too. He and Finnick struggled with the fact that the Capitol had you and Annie bad...it’s a well-kept secret but, they kept each other as sane as they could be, when thinking about you guys”, Johanna admits lowly. “I know Finnick was worried about me, because we’ve always been like siblings, but it’s different when it’s the love of your life. To know that someone was hurting you both...Finnick knows firsthand what it’s like when the Capitol hates and lusts after you. He spared Peeta most of what type of things he knew you’d go through but he didn’t hide it all. Peeta would black out for days at a time when he thought about it for too long. They’d find him in broom closets just mumbling to himself, in the kitchens pounding away at dough until his hands were raw, at odd hours of the night, unable to sleep. I know he probably hasn’t told you this stuff but...he didn’t do as well as he acts like he did. It’s one of the reasons they had to rescue us. Peeta wouldn’t speak for the rebellion without you anymore. He couldn’t. He was losing control of his sense of reality too”

“I didn’t know. I thought...I just assumed he’d be ok”

“He wasn’t, believe me”

“Ms.Mason”, Aurelius warns.

“I’m not under some hypocritical oath doc, you are”, she snarks .

*****

Excerpt from Ch. 16

Marked

Up on Wattpad now

#i love peeta #peeta smut #the hunger games peeta #peeta mellark #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta my beloved #peeta x reader #thg peeta #team peeta #survivors remorse

[artdivadej]

[artdivadej]

[artdivadej]

Is there anything I can do to help Palestinians besides call my representatives and beg them to stop killing people?

This is a great question. There are a few things you can do—just off the top of my head:

BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanction) https://bdsmovement.net/

Direct Action https://www.palestineaction.org/

Urge your University/School/Organization to put out a statement denouncing Israel

Organize a Protest/Participate in a local one

You might already be doing this but while calling your reps, tell them that as a voter, you're unwilling to support them in the upcoming election unless they urge the White House to take a stand against Israel and stop funding them

Share art/writing/films around Palestinian culture

If you're part of a union, ask them what they're doing to urge their industry leaders to take a stand against Israel + pressure the White House OR urge them to start a strike/walkout/etc if they're not doing anything already

Talk with your friends IRL about Palestine, whether in an activist capacity or watching a movie or literally anything

Reach out to a mosque to see if you can help them with anything

See if your city/state council has put out a statement in support of Gazans. If not, try to push them to do so.

Donate to Palestine Legal or Direct Action if you have some money to spare

KEEP TALKING ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know some of these don't feel like they have as big of an impact on helping Palestinians, but we do need to make an effort not to forget their humanity in the face of continued erasure and the media's sensationalist rhetoric.

Talking on social media and posting—while not seeming like a lot—does SO much. I know in USAmerica, it's like yelling into a void, but political analysts are saying that most of the "Global South" has completely lost any amount of goodwill it may have had the past few years. Hopefully, countries will start to put sanctions and embargoes en masse on the US and Israel soon.

Our goals here are BOTH short-term and long-term. We hope for the life and liberation of the Palestinian people, so anything that you can think of might help at some point in the future is encouraged to at least try.

If anyone else has any more ideas, feel free to reblog and add on. Thank you for asking, and here is to a liberated Palestine where Palestinians can live and thrive without fear.

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse (XV)

Part 10+

“He thinks you’re cute and you’re kind of a celebrity”

“Is that how guys act when they think you’re cute? He wouldn’t sit the hell still. He made me nervous!”

“Yes, all guys don’t just throw themselves into life-or-death battle to show your oblivious ass that they like you. How unfortunate for you”, Finnick moaned as Annie giggled.

“How else would I know you’re interested?” I sniff haughtily

“Luckily for Peeta he actually survived. Just took you ages to act like you understood what he was trying to say”

“I don’t do well with people things” I sigh, throwing my head back onto Annie’s lap and stretching out across the seat

“Living like a hermit in the forest for most of your life’ll do that” Finnick snorts “What a civilized gent like Peeta saw in your feral tail will forever be a mystery”

“I can murder anyone who tries to hurt him, what’s not to love?”

***

2 Days Later

There’s a gentle rap at the door and I don’t even attempt to stifle my whine of irritation. Haymitch promised we’d be free for the day and only had to attend the gala later that night. I’d planned to spend the day wrapped in Peeta's arms, moaning beneath him as I basked in the rare alone time we got here. Peeta chuckles, and it makes me bounce against his broad chest, before he lays a kiss to the top of my head.

“It might just be a note from Haymitch about tonight”, he chuckles giving my right buttcheek a couple soft taps.

“Fine. We need food anyway”, I grumble, rolling off of his chest and stretching my muscles. “But right back to bed with whatever we steal from the kitchens”

“As you wish love”

Peeta kisses the back of my head when he sits up and pulls his pajama pants from the floor. I greedily snatch up his shirt before he can and drape it over me, happily bathing in his scent. His feet make soft slaps against the floor as he makes his way to the door and I slide his briefs up my legs. I always felt sexy in Peeta’s clothes. But that could be just because he always looks like he’d love to devour me when I wore them.

The door slamming shut followed by Peeta’s cold, venomous tone, snaps me out of my thoughts. My eyes fly to the door and my body tenses out of reflex.

“No. I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t care. Get out. Now!”, He snarls.

There’s some murmuring but Peeta only gets angrier. Peeta doesn’t yell at people and he’s never cruel. This rouses my protective instinct for him into action and I dart for the door, ready to claw someone’s throat out.

No one upsets Peeta.

“How the fuck did you even get past Haymitch!”

When I open the door Peeta doesn’t turn, but his right hand is quickly pushing me back through it. I catch a brief glimpse of Dr.Aurelius and wonder, why my psychiatrist was here 2 days before our scheduled session? And just why was his presence bothering Peeta so much? Peeta’s large frame blocks me from view as I stare at his wide back brimming with confusion.

Excerpt from Survivor's Remorse Ch.15

Up now on Wattpad

#i love peeta #peeta smut #the hunger games peeta #peeta mellark #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta my beloved #peeta x reader #thg peeta #team peeta #thg fanfiction #smut fanfiction #hunger games fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #survivors remorse

[artdivadej]

also, a friendly reminder, the world we live in now consists of an active genocide.

of warcrimes being posted on twitter by the official account of israeli government.

of people looking at children, women and men being bombed, killed, starved and butchered and saying it is okay because of a single terrorist group, THAT ISRAEL CREATED.

of westerners saying to look away from the slaughter happening in gaza because your mental health is more important than thousands of lives.

of israeli politicians straight up using propaganda from nazi handbooks to dehumanise palestinians, calling them less than human, less than the rest of us, animals.

and what one palestinian man posted on his social media hit me more than anything: “if we actually were animals, people would care.”

[artdivadej]

Survivor's Remorse (XIV)

Part 10+

“You’ve probably never even hugged anyone before Peeta in that cave”, Haymitch snorts.

“That’s not true”, Annie chimes in softly, much to everyone’s surprise.

I only narrow my eyes at her, trying to see where this is going. She visibly shrinks a little under everyone’s curious gazes now being trained on her.

“Gale tried to kiss you before. You said so...”

“You never did elaborate on that”, Johanna yawns, as she stumbles into the room and flops on the floor beside me, her head on my stomach.

“Why would you want to know anything about me and your fiancé?”, I ask seriously.

“Why would I not?”, she shoots back, with her brows raised tauntingly. “Food me please”, she directs at Annie, who is grateful for an excuse to get away from the scrutiny.

“You two did spent a lot of time in that forest over the years”, Haymitch adds in around his bite of muffin.

“It was my forest first! We swapped survival tactics”

“And somewhere in that time he managed to try and kiss you?”, Peeta asks lowly, his eyes blazing with his distaste of the mental image.

“He was a horny teenage boy and I started filling out early. We didn’t kiss, it was nothing!”

“So, what happened when he tried to kiss you?” Finnick asks

He’s now on his stomach, feet in the air and chin resting on my stomach beside Johanna, who is using his back as a table for her food.

“Oh my God! None of you are gonna let this go, are you?”

“Not a chance in hell”, Johanna snickers.

“Nope”, Peeta shakes his head seriously.

“You wish sweetheart”, Haymitch snorts.

“Fine!”

-Survivor's Remose excerpt from Ch.14 Late Bloomer

Available on Wattpad now

Maddink0318

#i ship it #i love peeta #the hunger games peeta #peeta mellark #peeta mellark smut #peeta mellark x reader #peeta my beloved #peeta smut #peeta x reader #thg peeta #team peeta #survivors remorse #fanfiction #thg fic #thg fanfiction