you can't waste your life btw it's just not something that's possible to do. your mere existence is already a precious and valuable use of your time. the time you spent becoming who you are now was inherently worthwhile
When people make disparaging comments, just say thank you.
“You’ve gain weight” “Thank you” “…”
Then they have to either settle with being misunderstood or double down and explicitly explain that they were intentionally being unkind.
I work at a church and religious people use coded language to say crummy things in camouflaged/passive aggressive ways. Today someone told me, “that was an…interesting sermon…”
“Thank you.” <smile>
Then I got to watch them squirm as they tried to decide how to respond.
Tl;dnr: when people are passive aggressive, just say thank you.