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ashykins · 2 years

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Oh dear archons…trying not to cry rn THIS IS SOME GOOD ANGST!

Me trying to think that it was all a bad dream and that y/n and Xiao are living happily together, until I remember that this is angst with no comfort :’)

But seriously good job!

For the event:

Xiao, 7( ✨angst✨), 4 ;)

First of all, I'm terribly sorry that it took me so long to finish this! And secondly, what a great choice of prompts. Hopefully, you're still interested in this, lol. Also, this is by far the longest Genshin fic I've written so far and also the first time I tried the 5+1-trope, so I really hope y'all will like it. Pls don't let this flop.

Prompts: general, 4: 5 times this, 1 time that + angst, 7: “I never thought it would have to end like this.” (700 followers event: Mystery Prompts)

Summary: Five times, Xiao saved you and one time, he failed.

Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries and violence; character death; no happy ending

The future came suddenly – Xiao x gn!reader (angst)

The first time, Xiao saved you was unexpected for both of you. You were out for a walk near Liyue Harbor, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your skin and the soft breeze of early summer. It almost felt like an eternity since you last had a day off, and it honestly had never felt so good to be out of the city and far away from the hustle and bustle of one of the most important trading centers in all of Teyvat. Not that it wasn’t nice to live in a place like that – after all, things never got boring there, but you still had to admit that it could be quite overwhelming from time to time.

Slowly, you made your way uphill, lost in your own thoughts as the hills around you increased in size, turning into steep mountains with rugged peaks. Here and there, the path was covered with smaller stones that could easily turn into a tripping hazard if one wasn’t careful but it wasn’t the first time you were taking this trail uphill. You were pretty sure that you knew exactly where you needed to be extra cautious. Then, all of a sudden, you heard a deep rumbling somewhere above your head.

“Watch out!” a voice behind you called out, and before you even knew what was happening, someone pushed you out of the way, right before a small avalanche of rocks crushed down on the path you had just been walking on. You stumbled backwards, trying to keep your balance when someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward to prevent you from falling. With wide eyes, you stared at your savior, a young man with dark hair and golden eyes. He looked back at you, the expression on his face completely unfazed, despite the fact that he had just saved you from getting injured.

“Are you okay?”

You blinked and cleared your throat. “Yes. Thank you.”

He nodded. “Good. Be more careful next time”

“Okay.”

There was an awkward silence, then. The young man cleared his throat. “You should head back to Liyue. These paths are dangerous today.”

Something in the way he spoke told you not to question his words, despite the fact that you had at least a dozen questions, starting from “Who are you?” all the way to “Why did you save me?”. But just the way he still looked at you with that blank expression in his eyes made it very clear that he wasn’t in the mood to answer any of these.

You sighed. “Alright, I’m going back. Thanks again for saving me.”

With that and a flickering, slightly insecure smile, you waved at him before turning around and making your way back to the city, leaving Xiao wondering why his heart was suddenly beating a lot faster than it did normally.

It wasn’t until almost one month later when you saw each other again. Despite not knowing anything about him, you sometimes caught yourself thinking about the stranger that had saved you that day, wondering where he might be. Later on, you couldn’t help but wonder if it had been fate that had brought you to Wangshu Inn to eliminate a nearby Hilichurl camp at Verr Goldet’s request that day.

The commission itself hadn’t been too difficult, and so you were in a good mood when you headed back to the impressive building that towered over Dihua Marsh. Maybe, you wondered later, that had been the reason why you hadn’t paid more attention to your surroundings, but in the end, it probably didn’t matter anyway.

It was only when you heard a noise behind you that you realized that something was wrong. You wheeled around, only to find yourself eye to eye with a bunch of Treasure Hoarders. Oh, dear Archons, this couldn’t be true. Why did these things always happen to you? With a quiet sigh, you summoned your weapon, adjusting your stance as you prepared yourself for the inevitable fight.

The next second, someone dashed past you.

It was the young main you had met near Liyue Harbor a while ago, and for a couple of seconds, you could only stare at him, with your mouth slightly agape, as he blocked the Treasure Hoarders’ attacks, countering their strikes without the slightest bit of hesitation. He was an excellent and experienced fighter, that much was clear. Mesmerized, you watched him dodging another attack, only to lunge forward almost immediately and knock down yet another Treasure Hoarder. Now there was only one left, and he already looked like he was going to run for the hills before the young man even turned his attention to him.

“If I ever see one of you around here,” the young man growled as he stared at the group in front of him, fear very well visible in their eyes, “I won’t show any mercy. Now leave.”

It was almost funny how they bobbed up, not even trying to gather their belongings off the ground before they took flight. But the quiet laughter stuck in your throat when the young man turned around to face you. “It’s dangerous to be out here alone,” he said, his gaze flickering over your body, almost as if he was trying to figure out whether you had been injured during the battle or not. You felt your face heat up, a bit embarrassed about the fact that he had to save you a second time, once again because you had been too unaware of your surroundings. Trying to play it cool, you finally said, “But I’m not alone.”

He huffed. “I can’t come to your rescue every time you get yourself into trouble.”

“I guess that’s fair,” you agreed. “By the way, I forgot to introduce myself the last time we met. I’m (Y/N).”

A pretty name, but he’d rather bite his tongue off than admit that. Instead, he just nodded and replied, “You can call me Xiao.”

You smiled at him, a genuine, thankful smile that made him turn his head away to hide the rose-colored blush dusting his cheeks. “It’s really nice to meet you, Xiao.”

The third time, Xiao saved you was the time that would slowly change your relationship. Of course, neither of you knew as you wandered around Guili Plains, each of you lost in your own thoughts. Neither of you spoke but with Xiao, it was almost always like that. In the weeks and months that had passed, you had gotten to know him well enough to know that he rarely was in a chatty mood and preferred listening to your stories about your days in Liyue. And even if you remained silent for a while, just like today, it was never an awkward silence.

It also had become a habit for both of you to meet up at least once or twice a week to spend some time with each other, although Xiao had told you that it would be better for you to stay away from him more than once. “It’s dangerous to be with me,” he had said, his peculiar, yet hauntingly beautiful eyes filled with so much anger and pain that you knew right away that you wouldn’t be able to break off your friendship. So you, stubborn as you could be, had simply shrugged his warnings off, assuring him that you felt perfectly safe by his side. And over time, it seemed like he almost looked forward to seeing you. Maybe he even considered you a friend now, just like you thought of him as a friend. Or perhaps more than that, judging by the way your heart started to beat faster when he was near. But you had always pushed these thoughts to the back of your mind – more or less successfully, for the record.

“You are staring at me,” Xiao said, snapping you out of your thoughts. “In fact, you’ve been staring a lot at me lately.”

“Oh.” You hadn’t even noticed it but the fact that he had caught you in the act made your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Immediately, you forced your attention away from him and looked down at the ground instead. “Sorry.”

“It’s – fine.”

You turned your head back to him abruptly, astonishment written all over your face. Never, not in a million years, had you expected an answer like that from him, and judging by the expression in his eyes, he was just as surprised as you. “I mean, I- hey, be careful!”

His warning came too late; you had already tripped over the remains of a small stone wall, most likely part of one of the ruins that were scattered all across the area. In an instant, Xiao stepped forward and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back to prevent you from falling. You stumbled against him, your hands resting on his chest, and your breath hitched in your throat when you realized how close he was to you.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice unexpectedly soft. “I’ve got you.”

You didn’t reply, not only because you were actually at a loss for words, but also because your mouth suddenly felt so dry that you surely wouldn’t be able to say something, even if you wanted. All you could do was stare at him once again, utterly mesmerized by the gentle expression in his eyes. He had never looked at you like that before.

“Whatever you’re doing to me,” you finally managed to say, “you have to stop it. I don’t have the strength to resist you if you continue to look at me like that.”

His hands were resting on your waist now, and almost unconsciously, he pulled you closer to him. “Only if you stop, too.”

“I don’t think I can,” you whispered.

“Then it seems like we’re both lost.”

And then, he leaned in, and his lips brushed against yours in a barely-there kiss.

The fourth time, you really didn’t expect him to come to your rescue. The situation, albeit irritating and utmost annoying, was not dangerous, at least not in your opinion, and you were more than surprised when Xiao suddenly appeared right next to you, taking your hand and interlacing your fingers.

It was at Wangshu Inn, when you were standing on one of the decks, watching the sunset over Dihua Marsh, just like you did every time when you visited Xiao there. Sometimes, he joined you, but today, he was still somewhere out there, dealing with yet another Hilichurl camp on Verr Goldet’s behalf. That was how it came that you were alone when one of the house guests, a friendly looking, young man dressed in various shades of green, approached you, trying to engage you in a conversation.

At first, you thought that he just wanted to have a chat while he waited for his friends or his partner but after a while, you realized that he was getting awfully comfortable in his spot next to you. You frowned at the way he smiled at you, and when he started to compliment you, it finally sunk in that he was trying to flirt with you. Oh, please no. But what made it worse was that he didn’t even give you the chance to interrupt him to tell him that you had zero interest in him. That you were already in a relationship with the most wonderful person you had ever met. But then again, the guy probably wouldn’t have listened to you anyway because he didn’t even get the hint that you weren’t interested when you took a few steps backwards, hands raised in a deprecating manner. “Listen, I think I-“

“No, please,” he cut in, following suit. “It’s really nice to talk to you.”

“Yeah, but-“

“I was wondering if you wanted to join me for dinner. And perhaps a few drinks afterwards?”

“Oh,” you said, a fake smile plastered onto your face now. “No, that won’t be possible, I’m actually waiting for someone, you know.”

“But I don’t see anyone,” the man replied as he took another step towards you. “Come on, don’t be shy. I promise I don’t bite.” In the very moment he raised his hand to grab your arm, a gust of wind breezed past you, and the next second, Xiao had materialized right next to you. His hand found yours, interlacing your fingers, as he stared at the guy in front of you, deadpan. “I suggest you get lost,” he said, the tone of his voice dangerously calm. “Your company is unwanted.”

The man raised his hands. “Take it easy. I was already about to leave.”

“If someone bothers you like that again,” Xiao said and wrapped his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer as you watched the guy bustle off, “call me. I’ll deal with them.”

“My warrior,” you sighed with a grin, already melting into his touch. “What would I do without you?”

You awoke with a start, a muffled cry escaping your parted lips, your heart hammering in your chest, as you stared into the darkness of your bedroom with wide eyes. A dream, you slowly realized, nothing but a bad dream. But everything had seemed so damn real; the burning city, the cries for help, the harsh wind that had made your eyes water the moment you had lifted your head to see what was going on.

Suddenly, the mattress dipped right next to you. You almost jumped out of your skin, backing away slightly to turn on the small lamp on your nightstand. Golden colored eyes followed your movements, and you felt a wave of relief washing over you when you recognized Xiao. With his head slightly tilted, he watched you, observing your trembling hands and the tears that trickled from your lashes. He didn’t try to reach out for you, he didn’t even talk until you crawled back to him, burying your face in the crook of his neck as you wrapped your arms around him. “What are you doing here?”

“You screamed my name when you woke up,” he said. “I thought you were hurt.”

“I’m fine,” you replied. “Just a nightmare.”

A blatant lie, but Xiao didn’t probe further. Instead, he just hugged you back and let you cry until your quiet sobs turned into equally quiet hiccups.

“It’s alright,” Xiao whispered, cradling you in his arms, “there’s no need to cry. I’m here.” While it was true that he sometimes struggled with understanding human emotions, it still made his heart ache and his hands tremble to see you like this. For a second, he cursed himself for not staying by your side after you had fallen asleep but then again, even the Vigilant Yaksha was powerless before nightmares. There was nothing he could have done to protect you from the things your subconsciousness showed you in your sleep, but all of that didn’t change the fact that he felt horribly guilty.

“Everything will be alright,” he continued softly, fighting back the quiet voice in the back of his head that blamed him for your tears. “I promise. I will do everything to keep you safe.”

The ground was shaking beneath his feet, moving like a trapped animal that desperately tried to break free from its restraints. Dark and heavy storm clouds veiled the sky; a sharp wind tugged at his clothes as he raised his hand to shield his face against the lashing rain. In the distance, he could see the stormy see, the waves so high that they could easily destroy the entire city if they got close to the shore with that much force. And in between all of this, basking in the chaos he had brought upon this land once again, Osial, the Overlord of the Vortex.

The sight of him sent an unpleasant shiver down Xiao’s spine. It reminded him of a battle long ago, a battle that had not only destroyed this beautiful land but had also taken countless lives before Rex Lapis had put an end to it. Xiao still remembered the aftermath vividly, the flooded lands, the lifeless bodies of the ones they hadn’t been able to save… throughout the years, the memories of the Archon War had never faded completely but today, everything he had so carefully locked away came to the surface again – and with it, all the pain he had tried to forget.

He gulped, trying to fight back the memories before they could overwhelm him. “You need to go,” he said, turning his head to look at you. “Please. I need you to be safe.”

“No! I’m not leaving you or the others here to fight while I go and hide until this is over.” It was stupid, you knew that, but there was no way you would run away now. Not when Xiao was staying, ready to fight for Liyue one more time.

He grabbed your shoulders. “Leave,” he repeated, the tone of his voice more urgent now. “All of this is out of your range. I know you want to help but I’m not risking to lose you, just because you insist on helping me when you clearly shouldn’t.”

“But Xiao…” Your eyes were wide and filled with fear as you looked back at him. He shook his head before he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. “I need you to be safe,” he said again. “Please promise me to stay out of this.”

“I’ll try.”

Xiao knew how it felt to get hurt. During the years, he had suffered countless injuries, leaving him scarred, both physically and mentally. Pain really was nothing new to him.

Still, he had never experienced how it felt to have his heart ripped out of his chest and shattered into a million pieces right before his eyes.

But when the dust settled and the ocean calmed down, he did.

It was Aether who cried out for him after the battle, and at first, Xiao had thought that the traveler had once again managed to get himself into trouble, but when he manifested by his side, slowly rising to his feet, he realized that this time, it wasn’t about Aether.

It was about you.

You were lying on the ground, upper body propped up against a bunch of rocks, blood dripping from a wound right below your ribs, staining the wet sand a scary crimson color. When you spotted Xiao, a weak smile flashed over your face. He fell down on his knees right next to you. “Aether,” he said, “we need a healer.”

“Xiao…” The traveler’s voice was quiet. “I don’t think-“

“Now!” Xiao cried, although he knew that Aether was probably right. But he couldn’t accept it, he couldn’t let you die without at least trying to save you. He pressed his lips together, unable to hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes as he realized that he had failed you. He had promised to protect you – and yet, here you were, dying in his arms, still smiling at him like none of this was his fault, like he didn’t break his promise. “Don’t cry,” you whispered, your voice raspy and so quiet that it was barely audible. “It’s – okay.”

He shook his head, tears streaming down his face now. How couldn’t you see that none of this was okay? You were supposed to live a long and happy life with him by your side, not die in a battle that hadn’t even been yours to fight! With a shaking hand, he cupped your cheek, carefully wiping away his tears that had dropped onto your face. Or perhaps those were your tears but in the end, it probably didn’t matter. If he had been here just a couple of minutes earlier, maybe he would have been able to protect you…

But now, there was nothing he could do to stop all of this from happening. He could only stay by your side, cradling you in his arms and listening to your breathing that got quieter and quieter with every minute that passed.

Then, everything went quiet. Xiao wrapped his arms around you tighter. “I never thought it would have to end like this,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying, and all he could feel was pain, pain, pain. “Wherever you are now… please forgive me. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

But you didn’t respond. You’d never respond to anything he said again; you’d never laugh at his miserable attempts at cheering you up whenever you felt sad. You’d never tell him that you loved him again. And it was all his fault.

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked it please consider reblogging and/or leaving feedback. I'd really appreciate the support. <3

Taglist: @the-gayest-sky-kid @genshinparty @shanmie @the-fifteen @pumpikun @somemothgoingferal

#reblog!#xiao x reader #genshin impact x reader #tw: character death #genshin impact angst

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