asimplecabbage

[asimplecabbage]

Today, a man witnessed me weave a flower crown (I was on a walk and was board) and said in awe, "I've never seen someone do that before." Did I just get fucking manic pixie dream girled?

#tbh i hope so #i hope he yearns so hard he throws up idgaf

[asimplecabbage]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

[asimplecabbage]

would you mind explaining the “and me i feel also not so good” thing? i tried looking it up without luck 😔

phrases that stick in your mind like tar to an unfortunate paleolithic beast

[asimplecabbage]

careless whisper fucks so insanely hard and i will never forgive the internet for making it a "meme song." tonight the music seems so loud i wish that we could lose this crowd maybe its better this way we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say. if you even care.

#introduced this song to a coworker outside of the meme context and now he unironically loves it #doesnt know any words still just loves the saxophone parts #love u ryan sorry i fucked your brother and now this song reminds me of him

[asimplecabbage]

I heard a rumor OJ Simpson died, but I scrolled a good couple meters down my dash, and I haven't seen a single castiel-goes-to-superhell-style meme about it, so I know it can't be true

[asimplecabbage]

Here it is! My steven universe parody~ :>

It may be a bit wonky and a bit too fast but it’s alright with me. Animated it on photoshop (for the first time actually) but I drew the 56 frames in firealpaca.

[asimplecabbage]

[asimplecabbage]

i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now

[asimplecabbage]

white bread squished into tiny ball added to burger king menu for one cent

[asimplecabbage]

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

[asimplecabbage]

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

[asimplecabbage]

i hauve 100000000 sons and 100000000 daughters and this is just some of them

[asimplecabbage]

everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

#i talk like a Frasier character and nobody like me

[asimplecabbage]

[asimplecabbage]

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

[asimplecabbage]

#I'm both

[asimplecabbage]

I'm built different. like incorrectly i think