ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Oh, don't worry. I totally got the message. LOL!

Hey, Minion, when you're done with the embroidery project, do you think you could please screen print this book cover onto a shirt? Because I feel like the Snackin' shirt needs company. Thank you!

😄 😁

@setepenre-set tentacles for Megamind?

#megamind #roxanne #roxanne ritchi #megamind x roxanne #tentacles #megarox #funny #shirt

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Life in the Lair: A Jet-Powered WHAT?!

Here's some fair warning for everyone else in the world: there are a few things you should never say within the hearing of my Incredible Handsome Heroic Husband. Ever. At all.

At the top of the list is: "I just did something illegal," followed closely by "I'll bet I can outsmart you," but somewhere on there, definitely near the top, is: "I wish this functioned better."

Well, okay, maybe that's not something you should never say around Megamind, but it is something you should only say if you're ready to deal with what happens next.

I should have seen it coming.

You see, our email server at the station has been acting up lately, much to the annoyance of everyone there. Because we've returned to working in-person, the station's management doesn't seem to view the issue as high priority. They seem to think we should just spend all day walking across offices and up and down stairs to communicate with one another. Never mind the fact that some of us are on-site or work from home a lot, and aren't always there.

As a result, I decided it would be funny to buy one of those remote-controlled trucks, stick a Go-Pro on it, and use it to carry notes to some of my coworkers whenever I'm in the office. It arrived last Tuesday and I put it to work that afternoon. Sadly, its performance was pretty unimpressive. It took almost twenty minutes to deliver one message which, let's face it, is not exactly an efficient use of professional time.

Which is why I made the mistake of complaining to the man I love about it that night over dinner. You can all guess what happened next.

I should have guessed when I saw him converting a small turbo-charger, usually used on some of the brainbot's propulsion systems, into something else. Long story short, I now have a jet-powered remote-controlled truck. And a brainbot assigned to carry messages.

#megamind x roxanne #roxanne ritchi #megarox #funny #truck #life in the lair

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

You love summoning cat familiars from a witch's cauldron?

😆

@setepenre-set tentacles for Megamind?

#megarox #roxanne ritchi #megamind #roxanne #tentacles #megamind x roxanne #funny #joke #clothing #shirt

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Too late! Already ordered one! 😈 🐙

@setepenre-set tentacles for Megamind?

#roxanne ritchi #megamind x roxanne #megamind #funny #tentacles #hoodie #shirt #kraken #humor #megarox

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

@ask-megamind-blue-defender

Oh, look, Love! I found a hoodie to go with my Kraken's for Snackin' t-shirt!

😁 😇 😆

@setepenre-set tentacles for Megamind?

#megamind #Megamind #hoodie #clothing #megarox #megamind x roxanne #megamind is hot #funny #humor #roxanne #roxanne ritchi #romance #tentacles #kraken

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

So... My Incredibly Handsome Husband brought this to me the other night...

Sweetheart, I really love the pineapple-coconut ice cream. And the bottle of pineapple sangria. And the note that said: "you're the pineapple of my eye."

But did you really have to wake me up at three in the morning to give them to me? 😆

Happy One Year Anniversary of that time my beautiful, fantastic wife jerked upright in bed at 3 am, smacked my big blue head HARD with a pillow, and loudly screamed: "THERE IS NO PINEAPPLE ICE CREAM! THAT'S SHERBET! THIS IS A FREEZER FULL OF LIES!!!" Then calmly laid back down as if nothing had happened.

Fast asleep the entire time.

Until I woke her up laughing.

I warned you you would never live that down, my Love! You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you? Rest assured that the Pineapple Incident shall live on forever in notoriety! MWAHAHAHA! ;)

#megamind #Megamind #Roxanne #megamind x roxanne #pineapple #megarox #roxanne ritchi #marriage #funny #humorous #humor #ice cream

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Thank you, Megamind! YOU GIVE THE VERY BEST GIANT HUGS!!! The coffee was just what I needed, too, and you even brought me a chocolate eclair! You are, no doubt, the most wonderful Incredibly Handsome Heroic True Love anyone could ask for!

(Also, I ADORE that your kisses tasted like mocha latte and jelly donuts! And here I thought you couldn't get any sweeter! Silly me!)

Do you really think I'm the world's greatest reporter? Aww! Now I'm the one blushing!

😊 🥰

Of course, you DO realize that this forces me to retaliate by making you blush even harder? Are you ready? Here it goes!

The Molecular Orbital Theory was developed to construct accurate mathematical models of molecular structures by using a linear combination of the wave functions to express the electrons of each atom, then moving on to minimizing the energy system respecting coefficients of the linear combination at different levels inter-atomic separation.

(Are you blushing yet?!)

This yields both the wave functions, or probability amplitude, and molecular energy of the molecule in question, allowing chemists and physicists to estimate the surface interactions between two different molecules based on their energy. For example, the Molecular Orbital Theory can be used to show how the negatively charged electrons of oxygen create a covenant bond with the positively charged protons of hydrogen.

Okay, I KNOW your entire face has to be bright purple now! It looks like I hold the secret to your real weakness, too! 😉 Lucky for you, I'm head-over-heels for my favorite Blue Defender so I'll promise only to use it for the very best reasons!

Now that I probably have your brilliant brain showing a blue screen covered in computing errors and warnings about memory dumps, it's time for the boring stuff. Yes, Matt is not exactly what I would expect an alien being to call himself. I mean, you'd expect something like Zoltor Vizmexel or something, right? But whatever. My friend Andrew used to be called Andrea before he transitioned, so, you know... People have the right to choose whichever name makes them feel like their real selves. I don't judge or ask questions.

And yep! Metroman's real weakness is his mother! It's probably good you forgot about exploring that angle amid all your other amazingly ingenious inventions, though... You couldn't have really made a Robo-Mom.

Well, I mean, you could have. It just wouldn't have been a good idea.

That would have been WAY too evil even by the standards of your most diabolical villainous plots!

But that's not what I want to talk about right now. I want to talk about my Brilliant Blue Beloved and how much he means to me! Because guess what, Megamind?

I love you even more! 💕 💋

XOXO

-Roxanne

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

#megamind #roxanne ritchi #megamind x roxanne #megarox #humor #funny #Megamind #ask roxanne ritchi #ask megamind #Megamind loves it when I talk nerdy to him! #science #helping me get action since 2010 #seriously #Mirielle probably wouldn't exist if I hadn't researched and memorized common algorithms used in artificial intelligence programming codes #And starting talking to Megamind about Robotic AI's one night #don't laugh #it's true

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

I love you too, Darling! 💕 And I'm glad that Romanceless Roxanne is one tragic crime we never have to worry about, thanks to the world's most handsome and most brilliant Defender! 💙

Yes, I've been informed that Matt Roman is his real name and Wayne Scott is only his "Earth Name?" And he prefers Matt?

Not that I blame him. Thanks to my Nosy Reporter Skills I've discovered that his earth mother christened him Wayne Eliott Scott after two of her favorite old-time Hollywood cowboys, and that's... That's plain sad. Almost cruel, really. I'd probably go with Matt, too.

Speaking of Lady Scott, if Music Man is ever mean to you again, feel free to remind him that I can still get ahold of those embarrassing baby pictures any time. Because it seems Metroman DOES have a weakness after all and it's his mother.

She's kinda a scary lady sometimes.

Now for the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION! Are you almost done with patrols for the night? Because I'm still awake writing up that segment about the Metro City Bank Embezzlement Scheme and I could use A REALLY BIG HUG from the one and only Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! 😘

(And coffee. I also need coffee. Please be my hero and save me with coffee. But the hug's the most important and that's saying a lot.)

XOXO 💗

-Roxanne

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

#megamind #roxanne ritchi #megarox #romance #humor #coffee #I need coffee! #where there is coffee there is life!

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

And this, everyone, is why all the best friendships are based on mutual blackmail material! 😆 LOL!

Okay, I won't publish the baby pictures as long as you behave yourself, mister. (Even though the diaper-on-the-head one is freaking classic.) After all, you've been nice enough not to show anyone the drunken hen party photos of me. So there's that.

Just... Try to be a little nicer to Megamind, okay? He really is giving his job as Defender 110% maximum effort. And in my opinion he's doing a fantastic job.

By the way, speaking of you mother, she DOES know we're not fake-dating anymore, right? It's just that I keep getting invitations to be your plus-one at gala events? And I'm with Megamind so it's kinda weird?

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

#megamind #megarox #photos #funny #I have officially found Metroman's TRUE weakness #And it's his mother

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Ugh! Metro Man! Just give it up!

And you're totally getting The Look right now. Like, worse than that time you accidentally dropped my favorite purse into Lake Michigan and I had to get ALL of my cards and IDs replaced levels of The Look.

Because for real. Do better? What part do you think could be "better," Matt?

Is it being with a brilliant, handsome man who respects my intelligence and capability? Is it the facts that he leaves me little gifts like roses and my favorite chocolates when I'm having a bad day, dances with me in the living room, and hides funny sketches and love poems around the Lair just to make me smile? Or maybe it's the way he sends a brainbot with a packed meal and a sweet note whenever I have a late-breaking story because he knows I'll work into the night and worries I'll skip dinner? Am I supposed to "do better" because he gets all of my nerdy references, because we enjoy a lot of the same movies and books, or because he really understands me, flaws and all, and loves me anyway? Exactly which part of that do you feel like should be better?

Don't make me turn those embarrassing baby pictures of yours into tomorrow's top story! I know your earth-mom still has them, and you know she'll give me copies if I ask!

Hell hath no fury like a woman whose brilliant blue beloved has just been insulted!

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

#roxanne ritchi #megamind #megamind x roxanne #megarox #metro man #who wants to see itty-bitty Metro Man wearing a diaper on his head? #I'm singing Squirrelly Wrath now but it's Roxanne Wrath #And Megamind is looking at me like I've completely lost my mind #LOL! #funny

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

"No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!"

You're absolutely right, Megamind. I do need you. In more ways than one.

😘 💋

And for the record, Matt, Megamind received a full pardon for all of his past crimes. He is legally a free man. I'm very happy about that.

What would I do without my Incredibly Handsome Heroic Genius and Master of All Romance?

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

#megamind #roxanne ritchi #humor #kiss #I don't mean the band #But Megamind likes them too #But he likes my kisses more #so there

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

You made a sketch! That's awesome! And so cute! I completely love it!

You are very welcome! And don't ever feel like you need to apologize for being you! <3

The big forehead is for kisses

#Roxanne #roxanne ritchi #smooch #smooches #kisses #forehead smooches

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

How could I possibly say no to that face? And my husband talks about the way Minion reels people in with his cute expressions? He's not the only one. Bad news, Love, your secret has been revealed.

I'm so happy I have a fan! And that there are actually two different people in the room! For a moment there I was a little bit worried that a certain blue genius we know had made good on his threats to clone himself and request a threesome. Hahaha!

Lots of forehead smooches for @ejga-ostja and even more I-Love-You Kisses for @ask-megamind-blue-defender, the world's most adorable hero! 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

The big forehead is for kisses

#Megamind #megamind #smooch #kiss #smooches #forehead #art #fanart #fan art #Megamind fanart

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Life in the Lair - School Days

Like many parents, Megamind and I found ourselves keeping our child at home during the pandemic. (And yes, I know, she's only two, but she's also Megamind's daughter. She's already in kindergarten.) This has been both a joy and a challenge as both of us work jobs that don't know the meaning of "regular hours." All I can say is: Thank goodness for Minion!

But back to the question of school. The problem with Megan Celeste attending class from home is that my super-genius husband saw what normal kindergartners in a normal school learn. Seriously. You should have heard him going on about the complete lack of things like basic science and pre-algebra.

So, guess who decided that he wants to home school our daughter now?

One of the things I love most about Megamind is that I am always his equal partner. He believes in discussing things rather than arguing. So, we had a long talk, and, after I pointed out that his plan was maybe a little too impractical given his official duties-- because, yes Mr. Caffeine-Addict, even you have to sleep sometimes--we've agreed on a compromise.

We have enrolled Celeste into a school with an interesting program that blends traditional education with Montessori education, having a block schedule of regular classes in the mornings followed by independent hands-on learning in the afternoon. (That way she can develop self-motivation and a love of learning along with discipline and structure, all while having a chance to advance at her own pace.) Then, instead of home schooling her entirely, we will be supplementing her education here at the Lair.

Megamind has already asked Minion to make her a little lab coat. Which is both adorable and worrisome.

Something tells me there are going to be more serious talks and compromises in our near future. At least Minion will probably be 100 percent on my side where No-Dangerous-Chemicals-Around-the-Toddler is concerned. Let's be reasonable here. I mean, she spills her milk several times a week.

But, the point is that when I raise my concerns, I know the love of my life will listen and discuss them reasonably. Take notes, everyone; this is what a healthy relationship looks like!

#Megamind #Roxanne #Roxanne Ritchi #school #daughter #education #compromise #funny #family #Minion #humor #MegaRox #Megamind x Roxanne #Life #Lair #home

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Life in the Lair - I Nearly Had a Heart Attack!

So, I came home from a late night at work-- I got called in to report on a jewelry store robbery, but don't worry; my Incredibly Handsome Heroic Husband caught the culprits-- and had to return to the office afterward to drop off the news van and grab my briefcase. When I got home, I went up to our master bathroom to get ready for bed. You know, perfectly normal stuff.

Until I was brushing my teeth. And saw, in the mirror, a shadowy figure standing behind the frosted glass shower doors!

Needless to say, I freaked out! Someone had not only found the Lair, but managed to break in! That had to make this person extremely dangerous!

I dove out of the room and yelled for my brainbot guards, then sicced them on the brazen figure standing, cool and unmoved, in the shower. A few bowgs and tearing sounds later, my bots proudly returned bearing what was left of my terrifying assailant.

Which turned out to be a Viking. Made of stupid cardboard. Because someone we all know thought it would be funny to put one of those life-sized standups in the shower and wait to see my reaction.

I could hear him howling with laughter all the way from the workroom.

He's just lucky he had the foresight to also bring me wine and chocolate! Otherwise Metro City's Brave Defender would be sleeping on the couch! (Well, not really... I'm not sure I could even sleep at all without his chest for a pillow and his arms to keep me warm.) Even so, I hope he knows what he's started...

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!

So, I have just employed the help of Minion and the brainbots to change ALL of the preloaded songs in his onboard database. And change the name on every entry.

The next time he gets a call to duty, no matter which track he chooses, our local hero will be marching into battle to the tune of Aqua's "Barbie Girl!"

Also, I now have a one-armed cardboard Viking standing beside our bed. I call him Stumpy.

#Megamind #Roxanne #Roxanne Ritchi #MegaRox #funny #humor #Viking #standee #standup #prank

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

@ask-megamind-blue-defender, I just saw something about you running around naked, and that’s pretty much where my brain stopped.  😍  😘

And then it hits me…

#Megamind #Roxanne #Roxanne Ritchi #naked #wicked thoughts

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Megamind and I had plans for a romantic picnic in the park today. 

Unfortunately, it’s been rainy and cold all week.

Fortunately, he still had that old Weather Machine from one of his long-ago villainous plots.  Thanks to my Incredibly Handsome Genius Husband, the weather was perfect!

So, Metro City, if you noticed the weather was a lot nicer than it had been, you’re welcome.

#Roxanne Ritchi #MegaRox #Megamind #Roxanne #picnic #weather #sunny day #date #romantic