Itās really cool when you realize that every life has a thesis that their choices and experiences are following. For some, itās the story of patience, for others itās the tragedies of apathy. Some people are the answer to the question, āwhat happens when trauma goes unchecked ?ā Not saying that every thesis is worth listening to but thereās always something to learn from hearing the stories around us. We donāt have control over what happens to us but we can choose how we react. itās strange think that there is an infinite amount of ways we could chose to respond to our environment, and the choice we make is ultimately based on the belief system we have of ourselves, the world, and the people around us. If we were to reduce every thesis to a point on a map itās be cool to see 7 billion dots all varying from one another. I think thats what makes travelling so interesting, its being able to hear more stories and all the different ways certain beliefs and choices can lead to different paths
If how my qadr appears in this moment is displeasing to you, you should speak to the one who wrote it, not the one who is following it
And be gentle with your words, for if something about oneās life is displeasing to your eyes, surely itās a pain for theirsĀ
Since so much of me, reminds you of you,
On the days you hated yourself you turned to stab me
& When you made amends with yourself
& left me alone in these wounds,
I didnāt mind itĀ
Since so much of you, reminds me of me
I use to care about the books I wrote in
If they were shiny, new and crisp
I use to care about the quality of the page
And how the ink glided out my pen
I use to care about the time I started
And if the suns shine was set right
Now Iām too hungry to wait
I have to many thoughts that spill out
Now I write on my arm if I need to
Iāll grab any pen in sight
Iāll wake up in the middle of the night to write
Iāll stop myself mid bite
Very very grateful I had the opportunity to just sit in front of Allahs House during this time in my life. A time of confusion, deprivation, and disorientation. Even when making duaa, I found it hard to articulate myself and kept wondering if I said all the stuff I needed to say. but I reminded myself that Allah(swt) is Ų§ŁŲ³Ł ŁŲ¹, He Already Hears what I want to say even when it was a flicker, forming in my heart as I travelled to say it.
I didnāt want to go to umrah this year (I feel guilty saying that but my life was just too all over the place) but subhanallah sometimes in life you get what you need, not what you want. I didnāt realize how much I needed it. It was such a needed reality check of where my iman was at. I hope Allah(swt) allows all of us to visit His House, allow us to remain firm on the religion, and allow our focus to be on the akhirah. This dunya is not our home, and the pain we feel is a bitter reminder of it. Donāt see the pangs of life as an internal flaw