audaciis

[audaciis]

taps microphone

#✧ ° ･┊ OOC. #GUESS WHO'S BACK ALRIGHT #well not quite yet i'm swarmed with commission and zine work BUT. I'M MAKING A COMEBACK SOON I PROMISE #look forward to it! :D

[audaciis]

fellas is it gay …

taken by @audaciis

#✧ ° ･┊ m’hilo / PORTRAITS. #doorsopened #doorsopened / J'NABE. #FELLAS IT /IS/ GAY #also hello haven't logged in since december

[audaciis]

No need to be afraid, my friend. I’ll take your hand and we’ll face the darkness together. They won’t stand a chance.

#✧ ° ･┊ m’hilo / MUSINGS. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

You’ll have to tear my hope and resilience from my cold, dead hands, because honestly? I live in the stuff. It’s where I came from. I am shaped by it. I bathe in it, I shroud myself in it. I eat it for breakfast, and for second breakfast. I’m not letting it out of my sight

#✧ ° ･┊ m’hilo / MUSINGS. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

to the moon and never back

#✧ ° ･┊ ceodore / AES. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

#✧ ° ･┊ xheh’li / MUSINGS. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

the brightest smile in all of coerthas.

#don't mind me i'm just thinking about Himst #self reblog /

[audaciis]

Just don’t touch me, not yet, or not here. Something inside feels broken,”

Something Bright, Then Holes; The Canal Diaries, Maggie Nelson (via decreation)

#✧ ° ･┊ xheh’li / MUSINGS. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

L O A T H E  the  way  they  light  candles  in  Rome,  but  L O V E  the  sweet  air  of  the  votives  /  H U R T  and  G R I E V E  but  don't  suffer  alone  /  engage  with  the  P A I N  as  a  M O T I V E.

INDIE, PRIV, SEL. multi featuring the ffxiv WoL. braved by valiant. personals dni.

#self reblog / #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

happy holidays, everyone! ♡

#✧ ° ･┊ OOC. #i'll need to help out with dinner later so i don't know if i can get much else done today but!!! i'll try to queue some stuff

[audaciis]

gimme ur ship biases for m'hilo and xheh'li

@godswept​┊✧┊they live in my mind rent free┊✧┊ACC.

being an npc oc and very far removed from the main plot of the game, as far as xheh’li is concerned i prefer pairings with other ocs, wol or npc both! I’m still very much open to shipping him with canon npcs, mind you, but it would require very extensive plotting. i just have no notion of who he’d be compatible with jsdnfjksdjk ( it doesn’t help that he’s so difficult to grow close with, too! )

I Have A Whole Wol / Npc List For M’hilo To Make Up For Xheh’li

m’hilo / haurchefant. moon to his sun. fell for them immediately and never recovered since. i tend to not harp about it too much as to not make mutuals who do write haurche feel as if i’m attempting to force a dynamic on them, but whether they are requited or not, m’hilo bears very strong feelings for him. he was a great friend, a better man than him, someone who welcomed him when he was at his lowest and whose bravery made him re-evaluate his own reluctance with shouldering the mantle of hero: losing haurchefant changes m’hilo irremediably, and though the grief of it all makes him touch absolute rock bottom, it also sets in motion a character development that finally has him grow as a person and truly come to accept his responsibilities as the warrior of light. in short: i love them SO much my gods

m’hilo / sidurgu. i have a soft spot for this one, though it’s exclusive to verses where hilo is the wol ( since he only becomes a drk in that case ). they are both stubborn and hotheaded and would drive each other up to a wall- but at the same time as much as they butt heads they are quick to reach a deeper understanding of the other. i also really like the added dynamic of rielle essentially being sid’s adopted daughter in all but name, and how that translates to these two essentially coparenting her njdksndskjnfk... they would be the duo that bickers like an old married couple mid combat, both with tank stance on to assert dominance........ idiots 

m’hilo / yugiri. i have no reason for this one i just love her immensely and think wol / yugiri is criminally underrated and also. m’hilo vc I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass

m’hilo / lue-reeq. not a braincell in sight. this one is inexcusably silly but i joked with a friend about how in the role quests reeq tries so hard to impress the wol into being his friend with fancy dinners and how it would be hilarious if m’hilo misread them as dates...... and then shipping it as a joke turned into Shipping Seriously. my only gripe with it is that there’s no canon indication of lue-reeq’s age, as far as i recall, and while i do hc him to be in his early 20s i fear a future encyclopedia of eorzea might prove me wrong nsdjnfksj

m’hilo / crystal exarch. THIS ONE HAD A ROUGH START, both in meta and not- i initially felt like the exarch deserved better, and while they could definitely work out their issues ( when 5.0 ends it’s all water under the bridge ), i thought that they were individuals too different to be compatible. from a narrative standpoint, there’s also the fact that m’hilo spends a lot of shb being petty and irritated with him for a number of reasons: the yoinking of his friends’ souls, though accidental, caused him no small amount of grief; and when m’hilo’s peculiar echo inevitably rats out the identity of the exarch he is... very, very disappointed that he would keep it from him, to the point of judging him uncaring of their past friendship. it also doesn’t help that hilo is not one that appreciates being thrown in plans he doesn’t know half the details of, and that sort of secrecy is a tool the exarch uses very liberally ( for all the right reasons, because gods know our dear warrior of light would have never allowed him to pull That One Stunt had he known ). still, there was potential there and after a time i found myself growing fond of it... in the end, i guess that the concept of being so different and yet so devoted to one another all the same is exactly their charm point. they have many issues they need to work on, but i know they can both grow from it!

esteem -> m’hilo, one sided. “ i love you more than you will ever know. be well. “ i like to think of esteem as a separate entity from the wol and the original fray. But The Entirety Of That Dynamic Is Supposed To Represent Learning Self Love, you say, to which i reply You Are Right But I Cannot Stop The Brainworms

#godswept #✧ ° ･┊ ANSWERS. #✧ ° ･┊ WISHLIST. #this got long CRIES I'M SO SORRY #and i Could Say More about all of them but i need to stop immediately #ask to tag / #long post /

[audaciis]

   Do not mind him as he once again tucks mistletoe amidst blond locks.

#✧ ° ･┊ OPEN. #✧ ° ･┊ CRACK. #✧ ° ･┊ m’hilo / IC. #a yearly tradition

[audaciis]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧, 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰

                                        ( 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 )   

                                  indie ffxiv oc — crossover & au friendly. penned by bats! 

                                                                                                                 ♥      promo  ©

#thyra..... MA'AM.............. i would perish instantly for you #✧ ° ･┊ PROMO. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

✧ °･┊ MIQO’TE TRIVIA.

aka an infodump of personal hcs that go for all of my miqo’te muses ( of course, you don’t have to adhere to any of these! ). i will add more as they come to me.

all cat noises you can think of minus meowing, they do! hissing when threatened or otherwise aggressive; purring when happy and content or hurt and seeking comfort; chirping at something in their vision… most of these they pick on as children, before actual speech; seekers especially later learn to incorporate those vocalizations in huntspeak.

the game has understandable limitations when it comes to animating their ears, but i like to think of them being extremely mobile, be it in expressing a wide array of emotions, shifting to catch sounds around them, or simple idle flicking. the same can be said for their tails.

though kittens are born with ears and tails proportionate to their bodies, the former get to their full size before adolescence ( and take a few years to “grow into” ) while the latter usually increase in length more evenly over the course of their development.

for your consideration: rough textured tongues. for no other reason beside that the thought of miqo’te grooming each others’ ears ( and being equipped to do so ) is hilarious to me specifically.

seeker slit pupils do not dilate much in dim environments, making it harder for them to see in darkness. the opposite can be said for keepers, whose pupils do not narrow enough to ensure proper focus in very bright environments. mixed miqo’te tend to get the best of both worlds!

the game keeps calling to make me believe gaelicatnip does not work on the spoken races but I have its number blocked

affectionate headbutts. nap piles. the perpetual search for a warm spot to just bask in. please consider all of it

#self reblog / #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

— “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost

#✧ ° ･┊ xheh’li / MUSINGS. #✧ ° ･┊ QUEUE.

[audaciis]

✧ GO FARTHER IN LIGHTNESS STARTERS // PART 2

taken from the gang of youths’ album of the same name. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ you’re scaring us and all of us, some of us love you. it’s not much but there’s proof. ❞

❝ remember your virtue: redemption lies plainly in truth. ❞

❝ the self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken. ❞

❝ remember the pact of our youth. ❞

❝ where you go, I’m going, so jump and I’m jumping, since there is no me without you. ❞

❝ hurt and grieve but don’t suffer alone. engage with the pain as a motive. ❞

❝ today of all days, see how the most dangerous thing is to love, how you will heal and you’ll rise above. ❞

❝ you are absent of cause or excuse. ❞

❝ you crave the applause yet hate the attention— then miss it, your act is a ruse. ❞

❝ It’s a pointless resistance for you. ❞

❝ [ name ], just put down the bottle. don’t listen to what you’ve consumed. ❞

❝ and there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it. ❞

❝ feel your breath course frankly below and see life as a worthy opponent. ❞

❝ you want the acclaim, the mother of mothers, more poignant than fame or the taste of another. ❞

❝ you will not be more than a rat in the gutter. ❞

❝ you asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts. ❞

❝ can you hear me, [ name ] ? I’m talking to you ! ❞

❝ throw yourself into the unknown with pace and a fury defiant. clothe yourself in beauty untold and see life as a means to a triumph. ❞

❝ you’ll rise above, crowned by an overture bold and beyond. ❞

❝ ah, it’s more courageous to overcome. ❞

❝ I thought I had a real understanding then of loss but I didn’t know a thing ‘til you were gone. ❞

❝ I used to wanna be important, now I just wanna be alive and without fear. ❞

❝ it’s okay to feel unbelievably lost. ❞

❝ you got to persevere. ❞

❝ I live hard 'cause I am scared that I won’t mean anything. ❞

❝ you want someone to want you for who you are. ❞

❝ it’s no secret that with matters of the heart, I’m irrational and rarely ever start. ❞

❝ the world’s dark and often inhumane. ❞

❝ we all decided the best way to fight it was drink wine, dance here and pray and make love that lasts with a vengeance. ❞

❝ you can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave. ❞

❝ you wanted to fight for a cause— then go out and fall in love ! ❞

❝ don’t stop believing in truth and grace in the grievance. ❞

❝ you give me a good reason to be heartsick again. to be here, to be strong. ❞

❝ I’ve been losing my way in the weirdest of moments and the stupidest of ways. ❞

❝ there will be no years of silence in the shadow of regret. I won’t let it so betray me, though my soul got used to it. ❞

❝ I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain. ❞

❝ I will not spend the years depleted of my willingness to try. it won’t hurt this way forever, it ain’t worth the overtime. ❞

❝ lay me down and kiss me deeply, show me everything I missed. ❞

❝ I let bad love betray me once. ❞

❝  I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again. ❞

❝ and I just ask you to be patient if you’ll have me still. ❞

❝ It’s just a feeling of distance akin to a feeling of loss of love. ❞

❝ I am grieving the loss of myself with frightening malaise. ❞

❝ just stand in the darkness and laugh with your heel on its throat. ❞

❝ not everything means something, honey: so say the unsayable, say the most human of things. ❞

❝ if everything is temporary I will bear the unbearable, terrible triteness of being. ❞

❝ I’m not so assured nor unusually strong or outstandingly brave. ❞

❝ won’t you fear me tonight ? ❞

❝ there’s nothing that holy in loving like drunk kids love. ❞

❝ let’s drink the best wine now, while we’re strong and we are proud. ❞

❝ it’s weird and unnerving, forsaking my old life now, 'cause this is a burden I can’t seem to do without. ❞

❝ I wanna be nearer, I wanna be close behind. ❞

❝ our time is short. ❞

❝ I could almost take a whole life to disclose how I feel about the now. ❞

❝ but we’ve will to carry on, transcend with our scars and contusions. ❞

❝ I know how lame it sounds, but I’m glad I became more human. ❞

❝ do not let this one end before you emerge as the winner. ❞

❝ let me love with a vengeance. ❞ 

❝ you wanna feel absolved tonight. ❞    

❝ it’s okay not to be so alright. but don’t be alone. ❞ 

❝ say what you want with blood and bone and stick a finger in their faces when they say you’re overblown ! ❞   

#✧ ° ･┊ MEMES. #sneakily reblogs from my own meme blog AGAIN

[audaciis]

✧ GO FARTHER IN LIGHTNESS STARTERS // PART 1

taken from the gang of youths’ album of the same name. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ we’re at the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz. ❞

❝ hey, I’ll miss you when you leave. ❞

❝ there are feelings that are strong and there are ones that are mixed. ❞

❝ I guess I got nothing to prove. ❞

❝ a weary heart, they say, it shatters it all. ❞

❝ it’s bound to be much worse. ❞

❝ I feel it all and I never look back. ❞

❝ I waited on forever, but forever never came: just a latent sense of loyalty to the things I love in vain. ❞

❝ now I’m terrified of loving ‘cause I’m terrified of pain. ❞

❝ this is the sound of a soul in tune to a savage desire for a soul made new. ❞

❝ do I throw my hopes in the fire ? ❞

❝ can you still show me the way ? can you still show me a light ? ❞

❝ I was only a kid when I fell and you tossed me aside. ❞

❝ I wanna know if I’m heard and if I’m understood. ❞

❝ I’m not leaving tonight. ❞

❝ cram the armour and chains where the sun will not shine ! ❞

❝ get that thing out my face ! ❞

❝ I don’t care what it says, this is my goddamned place. ❞

❝ a traitor to country and glad, ‘cause my country’s disgraced. ❞

❝ I’m not bleeding tonight. ❞

❝ you will close in on madness and madness is not civilized. ❞

❝ I’m not dumb and you people can’t dick me around. ❞

❝ you can shake, you can cry, you can quake, you can rot in your sleep, you can shrug, you can weep, and I’ll watch as you bleed. ❞

❝ I have come for my shit and I won’t take less than that. ❞

❝ I will love you, but love not the powers you serve. ❞

❝ do not grow complacent and take less than what you deserve. ❞

❝ in the heart of redemption, there’s some furious song. ❞

❝ the herd is no place for the brave and the strong, but I bear no contempt for the ones who just want to belong. ❞

❝ their eminence is fixed upon things we could burn in one go. ❞

❝ I don’t know if I blame you for being so distant. ❞

❝ I’ll always struggle to think of you in a harsh way. I know that it’s weird but I still see you for the human beneath. ❞

❝ I wish that I was in love with your endless bullshit. ❞

❝ I’m getting used to the sleepless hours from sundown, the terrible dreams that lead me inward to terrible truths. ❞

❝ tell me how I can do this thing. tell me how I can help this thing go easily. ❞

❝ when did everything get this weird ? how the fuck did it start ? ❞

❝ did you ever believe in me ? was it always so hard ? ❞

❝ I deserve better than this. ❞

❝ so I have this dream, it comes like twice in a week. it’s been so for years and years on repeat and since then I’ve not had a full night of sleep. ❞

❝ and it’s strange, all the things that I’ve run from are the things that completeness could come from. ❞

❝ do not let this thing you got go to waste. do not let your heart be dismayed.  ❞

❝ do not let your spirit wane. ❞

❝ in love, I am careful to mostly reserved. ❞

❝ cut me out, take me home. ❞

❝ get the fuck out of your head if it says ‘ stay cold and be deathly afraid ‘. ❞

❝ go farther in hope, go farther in lightness. ❞

#✧ ° ･┊ MEMES. #sneakily reblogs from my own meme blog