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autolysis · 2 years
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autolysis · 2 years
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One of my favorite moments in TSP is the Real Person Ending where you fuck up the office so bad that the meeting room is demolished. The Narrator sounds so torn apart to the point where his voice sounds like it's being pulled and strained, with some glitching. But at the same time he sounds like he knows this isn't all that can be destroyed. He's in the anger phase of grief, and he doesn't truly know loss until the very end, where he is alone with a husk of a Stanley.
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autolysis · 2 years
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autolysis · 2 years
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And so if someone, therefore, is always in his attitude to life detached and reserved, it indicates that there is still a primordial fear of getting involved. And I must say that I can’t understand that very well.
Alan Watts (via alanwilsonwatts)
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autolysis · 3 years
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doubling down on Jordan Peterson for a unity message
I am gonna double down right here -
to be grown up is difficult, because we have to recognize the meaning of listening to each other. the reason i like jbp is that he explains how to do that - how to argue correctly, how to listen to each other so we can create unity even with differing temperaments
a lot of my friends hate() jbp. they think he is anti left. i don't agree with that because he is a speaker for abuse recovery ~ and abuse recovery fundamentally means learning to stand against a tyrant, and know how do we make unity all together to enable that? - learn how to argue properly, how to Listen to each other. How to discuss standing against the infringement of our wellbeing / Light.
(fake hate - immediate refusal to listen to someone, refusal to listen is either defensive or hostile depending on the interaction, doing it when listening is sensible constitutes toxicity, so fake hate is another way to describe that).
Why exactly is it that he's thought of as anti Left? There are a couple reasons, but mainly it is because he doesn't give a fuck about the ideological box ins - questions that have no useful destination. Manipulations. He doesn’t give a fuck about anything except the human wellbeing, finding the path through hell that allows us to heal each other.
Half of the fake part of the conversation - the part being faked by boss nazis - is figure out a way to destroy Jordan Peterson cuz he’s telling the truth of how to topple this tyranny.
They think they got him by making him out as transphobic.
They started it because he pointed out it is unenforceable to have a law about your speech regarding pronouns. It is less enforceable than drug laws. I refer to the Watts talk on the rule for all terrors about this. What are we so afraid of? If we were brave we would be acting out warning shot level force against actual bullies in the social order, in defense of our young and those who give them care.
I GRANT IT- He didn’t help the cause much by discussing enforced monogamy (lol) or agreeing to dissect the question of whether a trans woman is a real woman (waste of conversation energy, question contains no useful lesson). Watts' message on growing up is identical to Jordan Peterson's.
Let each other GROW UP and be responsible for their own choices.
Be a democracy that runs on individual decision making - allowing the organism truth to become seen.
That requires us to abandon the idea that Law will ever solve any of our issues. Only unity can do that. When we stand in full individual maximization side by side, disallowing infringement and harm - being WHOLE - wholly seen, wholly expressed via our Actions.
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autolysis · 3 years
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HELLO ][ i am a person - welcome 2 human Game []
zen is the realization that there is a certain aspect of life that you can't refuse, the aspect of human. You can't get rid of it. You're here. In fact it is not only you, others are here also, but we are not separate. we are going to collide, or otherwise organize motion through the same halls / world space. you can't get rid of this either. therefore me and you will both contribute pushes, called Hello - take a look at this important / valuable thing I have / do. In life we have to organize our behavior, we will do so whether we want to or not, and also whether we like it or not. So then -- if we are talking about being rational and really Living, then we tend to agree that is the definition of Sane - your work is to be well, to have health. Your actions produce your health. That is the life which is organized as comfort. If it's too much comfort it isn't comfort. Supposing this thing would not ever end, well then you lost voluntarily being in it. It has to be voluntary to be comfort. So life has to come to an end, don't pretend like you can imagine a way to get rid of that. It has to have an exit or there cannot be any motion. The juice can't flow out if the container is closed and locked. [] You have your limits, and you have your desires. That's the game of the Human Story.
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autolysis · 3 years
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Arrival point for expecting narcissistic person to join you in Person activities
(part 2 of a post i started writing a few weeks ago to explain final acceptance of hermit life, accepting death, accepting that i can infinitely extend the offer for abuse-addicted ex to participate in my life, but that's a threshold place that ultimately is just a koan that shows me where i am, a peaceful waiting room where i am completely familiar with life and cosmic Gameplay. Arrival point for expecting narcissistic person to join you in Person activities) at the very minimum, you can access infinite forgiveness that simply never becomes applicable, because they don't cross the threshold of actually SEEING you, seeing what are your needs, interests, and person ness. they won't do it. the abuse comes out from refusal to go into vulnerable state of person ness. you can completely identify it. they won't engage you no matter how long you spend creating something that they could participate in either by being audience or by being in it. how many books and creations can you finish while wondering if they will ever show up - answer: infinite, they will never immerse into something you did that is important, self expressive, and above all else Peace manifesting.
Neglect is a state of repeated action that says to you, you aren't important - it is an ongoing and consistent refusal to share immersion into anything creative or wellbeing manifesting.
then, when they don't see you, when you've realized that there isn't an interaction unless they actually Behold you (instead of the neglect which overwrites you) - prepare to hear the accusation that you are evil and abandoning them, it is one of the main weaponized objects, "oh i can't believe you are so neglectful of me after all i do for you and the fact that no one likes you " but it is so transparent after you comprehend that not being seen means THEY have initiated the neglect, and their own choice is creating the alienation they describe as your evil abandonment
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autolysis · 3 years
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I am eating spaghettos, but the heat of the substance I am consuming (not solely the nutrition) is what is my survival strategy
adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”
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autolysis · 3 years
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Content warning
🚪
🚪 mortality 🔚
🔚
There is more dignity in a death that I choose to undergo, to illustrate my message. Death is a state of release, and I will therefore release myself to it - the No Exist home. It’s not because of anger or fear. It’s not to save anyone or spite anyone.
It is because the dignity itself is valuable.
It is not to prove my point. My point does not need proving. It’s not even mine.
Only the dignity is mine.
And only in a sense that it is just a word meaning I chose - by using the question - is there anything in the way?
Now I will vanish to wait at the threshold, to finish publishing everything. I will inhabit the threshold moment with my dignity, a space to sit with this until the right moment appears.
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autolysis · 3 years
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here is what it feels like not to exist
my failed interactions in domestic abuse carried out against me basically convey the following: If you will See me as the reality human I am - treat me that way. In disregarding the reality of me, hijacking the interaction, I'm erased. All that's left is the frustration rage. I am halted, I no longer exist there. I would rather stop existing - () like you're treating me, like a person who doesn't actually exist () - than live a life requiring that I am regularly subjected to frequent dehumanize Halting against my will.
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autolysis · 3 years
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I’ve noticed when I RP my true inner mystic character, I like to use as few words as possible. I like to convey a simplicity that is affectionate (as long as the person in the party isn’t projecting malice “look at this lunatic let’s be violent to them” which is infrequent but inevitable in random online group gameplay. ) to somehow convey a greater Meta Consciousness by using grammar that is abbreviated. Like words are my second language. My first language is just plain Love
shout out to my fellow sexy bitches with adhd who use way more words than they really need to literally any time they write or type anything because their point has to come across 100% like they imagined it
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autolysis · 3 years
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autolysis · 3 years
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My mystic’s / innovator Commentary with Alan Watts description of Horse carried Letter as advanced as taxes and wage money
The government becomes a bank like entity which is ENSURING that things are purchased and service/goods are moving through the social organism
For some reason anything that adds human wellbeing has been locked away in a box SOCIALISM: DO NOT USE
But innovation is supposed to mean IMPROVING human wellness at LESS or even NO COST of human wellness / energy
NOT TO DO SO Is literally a HEART ATTACK which will kill the organism. Blood can’t pump
THE NEXT INNOVATION IS GIVING AWAY GOOD WELLNESS See @Pulte, Mr Beast, Dan Price in Seattle The maker of 70k minimum pay
My dream job as a mystic is to give great food To circulate happiness as a Win There is no better wellbeing increaser than a damn good meal that is a gift to you It’s practically psychedelically great, to have delicious food which then improves your health and immune state.
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autolysis · 3 years
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Missed a few lines that are critical to this script - re attaching them now from a message thread where I had written them mid trip. So now I can narrate it into the project -
Recalled script lines from summer (beginning of Stanley content development ) -
fuc k i n g exploring 4 t h
i took sound
i slow it down
this is this - i am i
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It’s 4 more lines repeated ()
this is the trip - to see that i am i
death is a word, it doesn't describe whats happening
i am the plateau
I play the social meta
interpolate
o s c i l l a t i o n Oscillation
After the square - im ROTATING
the parable is growing the trip
the trip is growing the parable
i hear the sound, the thing, mario64 Lift drone — deathknell lamppost knowledge drone
~~ XP - catalyzed by the madness of the full in love fall, and then transmuted through the Hell space it became and my turn to reflection, contemplation, and pscyjedelic questing in order to transform out of that~~
Hunger in the center (psychedelistan April 23 20
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Technology is alive // meaning of LIFE // its just difficult. its a technology. we use it for the purpsoe of information * and it is difficult.
and then.... it sometimes works... and then, we have happy good happy.
LIEK A STANLEY PUSHING THE BUTTON
Technology is ALIVE
technical difficulty has to be the meaning of life. I literally experience dream enlightenment consisting ONLY of this
i am in i squad, fam
IT - information therapy
hey we dont worry about this technical difficult problem!
meaning of LIFE
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autolysis · 3 years
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autolysis · 3 years
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So this Is this is what antifa means
So there is vast oppression in the handling of autism spectrum kids, and a system that amounts to dog training, ada
It’s subjugation. Bad bad.
As you know from my previous outrages, crowd tyranny / fascism is de individualization. The dictator authoritarian wants people stripped of all individuality so that all they may do is that which is commanded and permitted.
Call yourselves educators whilst practicing exactly that - forcing a child through a training programming , and calling it success when you’ve forced them to say and do things they don’t want to.
Educating is 2 things only. Resource providing and Curiosity feeding.
Literally the only way to accomplish it is to
1️⃣ give resources
2️⃣ remove any force that damages curiosity
⁉️ WHAT, no rules?? 🚫 Every rule you’re going to be making is about 2. Boundary setting that reduces harm / infringement. Which kids can tend toward accidentally. Errors during curiosity are the mechanism for their learning.
Coercion institutions do the opposite, withholding the resources that make us well, and using violence and lawmaking and misuse of the information network of money to keep wellbeing, rest, nutrition, and the basic decision will of the individual completely suppressed.
Fascism is the desire to push people down to zero individuality and only behaving in what is permitted and commanded
Antifa is the educator’s fury!
We want to pay them for the work of being individual, where NO BOSS OR RULER can decide their behavior, ONLY the individual can make spending decisions for wellbeing.
This is why UBI is the primary center policy, greater in importance than 3rd places but less severe and immediately vital than removing coercion policing.
(Ie: remove the coercion policing and now no landlord sharks can violently enforce absurd rent gouging. They are required to be reasonable without violent police authority - the impact of ubi will not be real sovereignty unless you remove use of force first)
This is why I argue against de individualization schooling at the end of the platform. It’s the same fucking thing as programming dog training into spectrum kids.
We need to stop doing it to gifted kids and we need to stop doing it to all kids.
The language of childhood is motion. Let’s stop forcing them to sit still and obey. This is spreading wildly as we watch false edu try to be carried on in zoom calls. No. Stop.
How ?
Defund police
Fund individual Students and their families
Convert all school facilities into 3rd places which are voluntary, useful, and NOT FOR SALE.
If you feel this vibe, welcome to antifa.
All we want is the ending of subjugation and false education so that we may see who we really are when resources and freedom to use them exists.
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autolysis · 4 years
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Common sense math of the yang gang / Educator social order platform
My run for any office or role is predicated on something critical, vital, and sharply precise with intent.
HARM
RE
DUCTION
Now, harm reduction is abstract, and comes down to a few separate but inseparable policy values more concretely-
To see this properly, first understand the Nucleus values :
* wellbeing / healing
&
* curiosity / sovereignty
1️⃣ Decriminalization - remove policing against medicinal and educational action / tools. This item resonates by the recent cultural movements to decriminalize federal cannabis and psychedelics, (plus all types of sex work and human interaction for the purpose of wellbeing) and most recently the public outcry to defund policing.
This item is an essential modification to the social contract. We need to be allowed to grow up, and make decisions; with no one standing over the shoulder saying we are wrong. That cannot be tolerated anymore. It’s just too much. It’s too violent. It’s too oppressive. We’re done with it.
2️⃣ decentralization. FUND wellbeing directly, to children and their guardians- as valued individually-owned Work. This is an income floor policy. Its true meaning is that there can be no outside boss who could fire you or in any other way withhold the funding.
Because- they aren’t the stake holder. You are, on behalf - your kids are.
We will have decentralized this by letting it be funded at the very bottom of social order, at the purchase level, recognizing that the best purchase will always be made by the individual.
With democracy, That is the liberty we believe in. It’s time we started acting like it.
3️⃣ infrastructural - 3rd places that kids may be kids and Peace is the purpose. All are invited. It is not for sale. Very very simple, common sense for the type of spaces we want to have in a CIVILIZED social order.
I’m Not saying don’t have a public building that is the school. I’m saying don’t have it be an authoritarian Hell , a part time jail with bosses and grading, and de-individualization.
So To have it at all, you need to make it both voluntary and useful. So that children and families may use the resources in support of their kids’ curiosity.
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