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Relationships are not a game. Quit the "well they didn't answer my text for two hours yesterday so now I'm gonna wait two hours to answers theirs." Quit the "I'm not gonna tell them that I'm upset cause if they really care they'll notice and if they don't notice they don't really care." Quit the "I'm not gonna text first cause it's their turn." Quit all of that. If you want to talk to them, talk to them. If you want to see them, ask them if they want to hang out. If you care about them, let them know. If you have something to say, say it. Stop playing all those silly mind games. It's a waste of everyone's time.

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foster’s home for lonely dudes who get no bitches and stack no paper

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Wait. If carcinization is a thing, does that mean there's a natural tendency for everything to go sideways?

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love the phrase 'methinks'. me does think. thinketh me do.

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Guilty 🙋🏼

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Yeah my name is Tim, short for OpTIMus Prime

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gay irl

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enough feminist retellings where the princess saves herself from the dragon. we need more feminist retellings where the princess and the dragon are a con artist duo scamming the knights of the realm.

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chillin on a monday night

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Wisdom from my best friend: "Sheep are lawnmowers, goats are weedeaters"

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be careful about consuming media it might crawl inside your brain and be inside you forever

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There is something objectively funny about the dynamic of humans:

1. Deciding to Found Family various animals such as cats and dogs, pet rats and snakes, fish and ferrets, zoo cheetahs and Labradors, whatever combo you can think of carnivores and herbivores and ecological niche rivals, and humans have made them a household blended family (species)

2. Okay, objectively absurdist to smush together our earthly brethren into Zootopia mash-ups, but at the same time when a friend of mine, who has never owned a pet in their life due to parents, asked “aren’t you worried about your dog and your cat being alone together?” and the answer is like, no. Never. More absurdist than the first thing. My cat never learned fear and my dog knows only wag tail sadly and LOVE.

Historically, cats will bully any larger animal off their bed and/or use them as a bed. Plus, they are childhood friends like from anime. Is my small calico physically matched to my German Shepherd? No. Are they emotionally matched? Yes. Daisy May invokes mercy with her big brown eyes and my cat Sofia is not immune to Big Canine selling her Affection (disgusting, more).

They do not know how to be enemies, peace and love on planet earth. 

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sooo excited for tomorrow (shaking with fear)