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avocaguk · 3 years
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my bae fr 😩🤞
empty wishes | nanami kento
warning(s): spoiler! genre: angst
a/n: hi everyone! this is going to be my first drabble for this blog, a small warm up for the bigger fics to come! please enjoy!
“I’ll be back home soon, I promise.”
Those words that once filled your chest with hope faded into an endless cycle of doubt, longing, and empty wishes.
Empty wishes.
Oh, how you’d love to see his soft smile whenever he lays his eyes on you, and his lips twitching up in a small smile; his eyes imbued with a love so pure it made your heart melt.
The pain that soon followed after days and days of waiting failed to cease, but it can never truly compare to the ache you felt when you heard the words, “I am so sorry for your loss.”
You couldn’t accept it. He promised.
He promised.
The place where you once called your home became meaningless. The thought of staying in that place brought you a sense of grief and loneliness – this loneliness you couldn’t ever stand. It was pure, unadulterated torture.
From the pictures you once both reminisced together to the familiar scent of his favourite strawberry shortcake lingering around the house, you knew your heart couldn’t take it. The following nights were spent with endless sobs and sore eyes. Through the pain, there was also resentment – resentment towards the person who snatched him away from you without a care in the world. With all your being, you wanted to curse him to the deepest depths of hell and burn in it.
Nanami Kento. The mere thought of his name sent you bawling in an endless puddle of tears, the unforgiving ache dwelled deep within your chest. Oh, how much you’ve missed him. His sudden parting was a sudden reminder – a big slap in the face, of how cruel the world is.
It was the beginning of a new day, and you mustered all the power to get up from your bed. You could never get used to having the mattress feeling lighter, more empty. The space beside you has gotten colder, gradually losing its touch of warmth.
The house that once smelled of his favourite dessert now reeked of pure heartache. Sitting atop the dining table were bottles of wine and glasses that are yet to be washed, and droplets of tears stained all over the letters you and your husband once wrote to one another.
My dove, I know how much you worry for me, but please rest assured. There is nothing I want more than spending the remainder of my life with you, and I promise you I’ll keep you and our future family safe. I don’t plan on going anywhere, not without you by my side. My job is taxing and all the more shitty, I tell you that. However, I think I am good at my job. Also, there’s a new bakery near my place. I’ll bring you there with me once I return from my mission. I’ve heard from Gojou that their strawberry shortcake tastes good. I love you so much. Stay safe. Yours truly, Kento
Droplets of water fell down to the surface of the aged paper, leaving a stain over your lover’s name written in ink. You couldn’t let him go. Everything around you reminded of him. And it pained you.
Your tears never ceased to fall, and you made no effort to stop it. God, you missed him so much.
You shook your head, ruffling your hands into your scalp. Even as you close your eyes shut, the memory of your husband giving you his last smiles before he parted kept replaying.
After all, the thought of him always gave you a sense of longing for a time that will never return.
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avocaguk · 3 years
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To Be Free | a letter to you
↦mikasa ackerman, to the man she knew as her world
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hello i am back, sorry for the inactivity, i've been plenty busy! in honour of aot, another short piece for mikasa and eren. jus wanted to put this one out shortly while I work on some delayed requests :)
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avocaguk · 3 years
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:0 hey, any fellow writers you admire and can recommend to check out?
hi! apologies for the late response, but here are some writers that I think put out great work <3 
@miekasa @myelocin @whats-her-quirk they write mostly for aot, I hope thats ok! 
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avocaguk · 3 years
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oneshot with the reader helping Reiner spoil the kid candidates with food/toys/whatever they want? plssss and thank u!!!
this is soooo cute! i'll definitely have it up before the weekend, keep an eye out for this piece <3
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avocaguk · 3 years
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im supposed to move on after this? 😕🤲🏻
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AWOOGAAAA THEY LOOK SO REAL AND HOT AND OMG LOOK AT REINER AND LEVI SKDBDHWBDBJWBR ⚔️Hange, Annie, Zeke, Reiner, Eren, Levi, Erwin, Jean🦧 ~Attack on titan~ art by @artofneight on twitter
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avocaguk · 3 years
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is it possible to fall in love with someone’s writing. Cause i LOVE LOVE your descriptions, they’re so vivid!! ;v; thank you so much for granting my rq, it’s definitely nice to read after the recent episodes.....
ahh this made my day!!! thank u sm for taking the read to read any of my pieces and for even requesting!! much love bby 🤍
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avocaguk · 3 years
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—Where does your love lie?
PAIRING HISTORIA REISS X GN READER
GENRE fluff <3, hint of angst (just a lil sprinkle i promise), me trying to cope from szn4 if you squint
WARNING very slight s4 mentions!
requested by: anon!
↦ You show Historia your love through the (attempted) task of braiding your daughter's hair.
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Early mornings, much like this one, have always conflicted Historia Reiss' full head of molten-blonde hair with whispering thoughts. It starts with a bittersweet feeling that freezes her fingertips, and just like an itch she can’t get rid of, it melts into a river of uneasiness that spreads with a deadly warmth; the kind that fills your ribs with pressure, every intake of air crushing her chest with the same pulsing aches the heart is desperately trying to conceal.
The roseate sun kisses the horizon, waiting patiently for the world to wake up as it's gentle rays cover everything in gold, including Historia's doll-like porcelain complexion. She finds the intense warmth quite pleasant. Every once in a while, the dawn that accompanies the changing skies gifts the sunrise with a cool breeze, tickling the tip of her nose when strands of her hair flow by.
However, the beauty of the faun and flora awakening from slumber isn't enough to keep her thundering thoughts at bay.
Historia props both of her legs up towards her chest. She lazily rests her chin atop her knees and heaves a heavy sigh.
"Come home," she mumbles, unenthusiastically blowing the daffodil in front of her. "Please, let them come home."
Her eyes glaze over the array of colours buzzing alive in the scene before her: Rolling green hills covered in beautiful flowers that seem to never end, sturdy mountains in the distance casting a slight frost into the summer air and the line of green trees reaching out into the horizon to meet the dazzling water. For a place full of pain and betrayal, the land they live upon seemed to be a sight holding nothing but freedom.
With a gentle hand placed over her heart, Historia thinks about her friends— her family, that travel days away from the other side of the ocean. She thinks about their training days, each of the cadets holding young hopeful eyes yearning to learn the wonders of the world.
Of the world outside the walls, that is.
She thinks about how the flower-ridden field she lays in used to be the dream Eren and Armin would constantly babble over, a forgiving love filling their hearts before the pain of growing up extinguished the light in their eyes.
Historia figures that Armin, whether it be the grown man now or the lost boy back then, would be delighted to see a sight like this. To bask in fields of green with the sun caressing sweet kisses on your skin, much like the comfort a mother would bring to a child. He never got the chance, however. Instead, they spent a handful of years conditioning their hearts into steel, and while they fought day after day, Historia spent each waking morning bearing the burden of wearing the crown.
It's been a long four years. The scouts have made remarkable advancements for Paradis' technology, and now the ones she suffered with throughout her adolescence fight another battle in a faraway land, Marley. She wonders if they'll come home with smaller numbers than they left with, or if they'll even come home at all.
The idea brings a bitter taste in her mouth.
Historia pushes the thought away.
She gently stands up to dust off her light brown skirt, pressing her lips together into a struggling grin, deciding that endlessly worrying would not change anything. Instead, she sighs deeply and puts a soft smile on her face.
The birds chirp charmingly, and that's when Historia knows it's time for breakfast.
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Merchants and nobles alike endlessly fawn over the luxury of living inside the castle, the marvellous pillars of marble casting an envy on the mundane as the building is tucked away within the walls of the capital. 
The Queen herself finds it quite beautiful, but there’s a certain sense of familial simplicity that the stone cottage just outside Wall Maria enchants upon Historia.
She’s always preferred places like this-- a home like this, rather than the massive hallways that fill the castle. They squirm with servants and guards in every corner, but they feel as lonely as the winter that cools the iron framing. 
The worn-out pebbles that weave a path towards your shared cottage is a sight that Historia knows all the well. A gentle chuckle bubbles in her chest while a small grin pulls the corners of her mouth, the basket filled with flowers bobbing left to right on her arm once she walks a bit faster. She feels the freedom of wearing ordinary clothes, grass tickling her ankles instead of the royal shoes that also happen to be a royal pain in the ass, and the sweetness of wind running through her hair rather than the constricted feeling of having it slicked back. 
Here, Historia feels free of any weight on her shoulders. 
Here, she feels the same as she did when she finally introduced herself as Historia Reiss to the scouts she learned to call family. 
She didn’t need to be the Queen in the meadows outside the walls. She only needed to be another person living here, existing here, breathing here. Just another person bearing the title of a mother, a friend and a lover.
Historia reaches to turn the doorknob, however she finds that it’s already opened as it creaks slowly. The smell of freshly baked bread basks in the air, and the crackle of the firewood tickles her ears. Her mug of coffee remains untouched on the wooden table, and all the chairs haven’t seemed to be moved. The floorboards croak lowly as she shuts the door behind her, a gentle hum accompanying the thud that sounds once Historia sets the flower basket down. 
“I’m home!” She calls out, opening the curtains to let the sunlight stream in. Historia skillfully takes the bread out of the furnace and places it next to the eggs. “Breakfast is ready, my loves.” 
She expects to hear the usual footsteps tapping across the floor, small giggles of excitement breaking the silence of early mornings once you and your daughter prepare to wreak havoc on the day. However, it doesn’t come today. 
You should have been awake by now, Historia thinks. Ymir, Historia’s daughter, has never been much of an early bird either, but the both of you have always been awake to greet the bubbly blonde returning from her morning trips. Now that it comes to mind, Historia comes to notice that she hasn’t seen the pairing around these days. She figures you’ve been off to your daily shenanigans, but even then you’d make a grand appearance just to bug her for the fun of it. 
“The eggs are going to get cold!” Historia sings teasingly, attempting to lure you two out from wherever you and Ymir were scheming from. A pout is Historia’s response to the silence she gets as an answer. Sighing curiously, she heads off to the hallway. 
Historia sneakily peeks her head into the two main rooms, expecting a certain four-year-old to pop up and scare her, but to no avail, they’re just as empty as they sounded to be. Historia nearly decides to check the flower fields just outside the cottage, though her steps are hastily redirected once she sees the familiar candle light shining through the crack of the last door down the hallway. 
She grins and quickens her cautious steps. You always forget to blow the candle out in the morning, so the room Historia skips towards is her best bet at finding the person--and toddler-- that warm her heart.
The young woman is ready to burst through the door, a playful shout waiting at the tip of her tongue, though she abruptly stops in her tracks at the sound of hushed whispers. With light feet, Historia places her hand on the door as she stares in from the slight opening. 
“Can you please go any faster? I think my hair is going to fall out!” Ymir whines as she sits with her legs criss-crossed on the wooden floor. “I promise it’ll look nice, I just know it!” 
Historia slightly pushes the door wider to get a better peak, and she finds you sitting at the edge of the bed with Ymir snuggled in the space between your lap. 
“Stay still, Ymir,” You sigh hopelessly, “you know your mother does it better.”
“It doesn’t have to be perfect, you know. I’m sure mama would like it, cause she likes you so that means she has to like it, right?” Ymir groans sassily, dramatically swaying her body as your hands tag along, clumsily gripping the three strands of hair slipping between your fingers. 
“Mama always tells me to ask for help when I need to, so why don’t ya ask her? I think your braids are turning my hair into knots.” Ymir pouts. 
A slight frown appears on your face after your daughter’s snarky comment, but you can’t deny the light laugh that follows afterwards. “I just thought it’d be nice to do your hair, sweetheart.” Your fingers take turns intertwining the strands of hair into a pattern, “Besides, I think I’m getting better.”
Ymir grumbles lowly and throws her small hands in the air, “You’ve been saying that for three days now!” 
Historia bites her lip to prevent a laugh slipping out, warmth shining in her eyes as she thinks about the two of you sneaking off to practice doing a simple braid. 
The progress you had with Ymir’s requested hair-do quickly disappears (along with your hopes) once her hair slips out of your fingers, the poor excuse of a braid you’ve made effortlessly spiralling back to where you started. “Alright, Ymir, you win,” you shake your head and giggle, “I think it’s time to ask your mother for some help.” 
Ymir smirks triumphantly, rising up to kiss you on the cheek. “I still think it’s nice of you to try. Maybe I can practice on you one day!” 
Historia thinks that’s her cue to join in. She enters the room with an innocent giggle. “Now, what have you two been up to?” She crosses her arms across her chest as you quickly shoot up from the bed.
“Y-Ymir was just telling me a story, Historia,” You stutter, a hand snaking up to rub your nape. A light blush flushes the apples of your cheeks, “--and good morning, love.”
“No I wasn’t, you liar!” Ymir interjects, wiggling her eyebrows while pointing to her ruffled scalp, “Mama, don’t you see this braid! It’s nice, isn’t it?” 
You and Historia blankly stare at the lump of twisted hair sitting atop Ymir’s head, her shining eyes waiting to get a reaction out of the shorter blonde. 
Historia looks back at you, pride filling her chest despite the embarrassment that splatters across your cringing face. She smiles brightly at Ymir. “It’s lovely, dear. How about I finish the other side?”
Ymir nods excitedly and plops herself down in the same spot. Historia stands over the both of you, her arms sneaking over your shoulders as her strands of her golden hair brush against you. A familiar tune fills the air, Historia humming sweetly as her hands get to work. You watch her fingers skillfully pull your daughter’s hair into a beautiful braid, smiling softly at the manner in which your morning started. 
You never fail to notice the flowery, fresh scent that wafts in the air because of Historia, or the warmth her small frame emits. As Historia finishes up the braid, you think of all the ways Historia looks after family and friends alike.
Where does your love lie? You wonder as you tilt your head back to look at her ocean blue eyes. 
Ymir and Historia’s giggles fade into the background once you find your answer. 
In her fingertips, you figure, her love lies in her fingertips.
Historia’s love lies in her fingertips, from the way her warmth and care flows out from her hands to twist Ymir’s hair into a stunning pattern, to the way it feels when her fingers brush your cheek. You figure her love pulses from the palm of her hands, a silent affection engraved in the flowers she picks or the food she cooks. 
You think of how the scouts felt, knowing it was Historia’s hand who reached out to help whenever trouble awaited. The amount of wounds that have been tended to, or the simple act of holding another in her arms to show all the love that couldn’t be said. You realize the way in which her love doesn’t stop there, knowing that it flows from her fingertips all the way to the core of her being. 
Historia loves entirely, freely, without shame. You’ve come to learn that the first place it comes to show is in her hands. 
“Are you alright, love?” She asks, petting your head softly once you realize you spaced out. 
“Better than I could ever be.” You smile.
The sight of the sunlight shining upon her is something you’ll engrave into your memory. Historia giggles as she pulls both of you in for a warm hug.
She decides that she has no problem waiting for the scouts to return as long as you two are here. 
_____________
ahhh so sorry this took longer than expected! anyway, thank u for checking this piece out and i hope it brough sum sunshine especially after the latest episodes recently <3
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avocaguk · 3 years
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say word bro
hate 2 say it but british ppl had the right idea with saying whats all this then. like literally whats all this then
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avocaguk · 3 years
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no becos he has BIG ONES
Reiner needs a bra
you’re right and you should say it
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avocaguk · 3 years
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Please.... 🙇‍♀️ i need... Historia watching the reader try to do their daughter’s hair and struggling with it (braid, ponytail, pigtail, etc, up to you!) daughter’s annoyed, R needs help, Hisu’s amused...
hey love! ty for requesting, i'll try n put up a piece soon, so keep an eye out for it <3
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avocaguk · 3 years
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levi and hange supremacy 
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“Tch. Don’t flinch. They’ll think we’re weak.” “I know that!”
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avocaguk · 3 years
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are requests open + if yes, which characters will you write for ? 👀
hey anon! yes, requests are open and i'd be happy to write for any character of your choice! 🧎 all canonically underage characters will be aged up though, especially if it's smthing spicy ure looking for. reader is fem unless requested otherwise!
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avocaguk · 3 years
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Is it so wrong? | reiner braun
Your room reeks of heartache. Of resent. An unforgiving anger that fills the nooks and crannies of the place you once loved the most— of the place he loved the most. From the cracks on the wooden floors to the crooked picture frames fading with dust, the soul of the haunting intimacy that rattled your bones beg to be put at peace. 
Mikasa numbly stands by the doorframe. Her legs feel as if they’d buckle any moment, the lump in her throat and the stinging of tears repelling her from entering the room you hadn’t visited in nearly three weeks. 
She stares at the empty bottles of alcohol scattered across the floor, and the piles of used clothing and bedsheets stained with nights of crying; the corners of her lips twitch downwards as she spots the unused candles sitting on the nightstand, realizing that they were never lit during the months you spent in the dark. 
Finally, her eyes shift to the one side of the room. Her heart drops at the sight of the fist markings stained with dried blood indented in the wall, and the dimming paint distinguishing the spot you always sat in. She remembers. Quite vividly, actually. She remembers the way you blankly sat with your back against the wall, one knee propped up with the hand grasping an empty bottle with merely a drop left. 
She remembers the way your eyes emptily stared into nothing, despite the morning sun streaming in rays of light when you were too lazy to shut the windows. Most of all, Mikasa recalls your frail figure sitting there for god knows how long, your dried lips and unwashed hair proving you hadn’t moved for days on end. The young woman has your cries engraved in her memory, her skin memorizing the way it felt when you shook in her arms. 
It’s been about a year since Reiner passed. 
She knows that a piece of your soul died that day too. 
With a deep breath, Mikasa hesitantly sets foot inside the room. The stench of faint alcohol mixed with your flowery scent hits her nose. She tries not to pay too much attention to your precious belongings trashed and thrown in all kinds of ways, a thought in the back of her head knowing that it would break Reiner’s heart to see you living out this pain. 
The anger and disorder in your home reflects the same bright-red grief that colours your soul. However, amidst all the chaos, a single paper remains untouched on the table. She picks it up with shaky fingers. Her eyes soften once she eyes the first sentence, and Mikasa slowly sits down with the only evidence of emotion you’ve expressed in a while.
Thickly swallowing a shaky breath, she begins to read. 
To my love, Reiner Braun
You were always a strange being. Though, I’ve learned to warm my heart as the mornings passed on, just from the simple acts of affection you’ve showered day by day during the two years we’d spend as each other’s halves. I haven’t had the courage for my mouth to voice these words directly, so I decided to list the ways your love seeps into my life. Our waking mornings started with your lips on my forehead, and you never missed a day at that. I’d roll my eyes at how much self control you have, always insisting we buy healthier food instead of the delicious junk that Sasha brings home; I have to admit that your stubbornness always brought a certain sense of fondness. You warm my heart from your silly collection of coloured socks, and it’s a pain having to pick up after them but I know it makes you happy. God, you beam out in the handsomnest ways when the tenderness in your eyes puts butterflies in my stomach, laughter erupting from your broad chest whenever we’d have the Scouts over for dinner. My love, it never came to my attention until Annie pointed out that you’ve never taken off your ring; ever since then, the golden band wrapped around your finger seemed to catch my attention during our tasks throughout the day, sparking a blooming warmth in my chest knowing you wear our love with pride. You complete me as a whole as I do you, and it pains me to know that my only regret is not growing old with the man I'll love to the ends of this damned earth. The children we could’ve had would grow to know a world without their father, since I know that our years together are limited. I wish you gave me more time. I wish I didn’t need to choose between regret and the joy of having you for a little while. I wish you didn’t have to go so soon. And I know you’re still here, but I don’t know how my world is still supposed to have colours when all I’ll have left is memories of you. Either way, we’ll love each other fiercely and I’d die a thousand of deaths before I'd take back the miracle of our paths crossing one another.
Bring dinner when you get home. I love you. 
A teardrop stains the ink of your initials. Mikasa hastily wipes it off before the letter is ruined. A hundred thoughts run through her cloudy mind, one of them being that your letter was written before Reiner left you in the hands of a world crueller than fate.
She clutches the coffee coloured paper to her chest, sniffling as her heart aches over the fact that this was the only thing remaining that proves your love ever existed. Mikasa sits back on her heels and shakily wipes her tears away. 
She wonders: Is it so wrong? Is it so wrong for you to love a man with a fleeing soul? Was it wrong for you to be angry at the world for tearing you apart day after day now that he’s gone?
No, Mikasa thinks.
For she knows what it’s like to have a man love you with the time he doesn’t have. 
___
reiner simps come collect ur crumbs its angst time :D working on a longer fic that should be coming out soon! thanks for checking this piece out <3
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avocaguk · 3 years
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LETTERS | short pieces
—To my dear...
Eren Yeager
↦ If it was courage
Historia Reiss
↦Where Does Your Love Lie
Jean Kirstein
n/a
Annie Leonhart
n/a
Reiner Braun
↦ Is it so wrong? 
Mikasa Ackerman
↦ To Be Free 
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avocaguk · 3 years
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masterlist
> attack on titan
the scouts \\ paradis
warriors \\ marley
letters | short pieces
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avocaguk · 3 years
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—about me
name nai!
from canada it's cold as balls here
astrology placement libra ;)
fav colour yellow
fav novel song of achilles
fav character i switch up everyday but theres just something about mikasa and jean + the yeagers 🧎
i've always loved writing, but it's only recently that i decided to try and run a blog <3
other misc facts:
i started using emojis and cringe phrases as a joke but now i can't stop
changing lanes gives me chronic stress gn
i pour milk first lol
rice and noodles mmmmm
my cousins showed me girls kissing on youtube when we were eight and i thought it was normal ✋🏻
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about my blog
do you only write for aot?
I watch plenty of anime's/shows, however as of right now i'm starting out with mainly aot! may change in the future if my blog ever grows
do you take requests?
hopefully enough people will come across my page for there to even be any! if you do have any, send them through submissions <3
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thanks for taking the time to read this! i might update it if i gain any more lovely friends, and i'm hoping my blog eventually grows! excited to show you all more work, hope it satisfies your expectations :)
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avocaguk · 3 years
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If it was courage | eren yeager
“You love her?” 
It was a simple question. Eren shifts on the grass, swallowing thickly as if the silence would provide an answer before he could. “You know it isn’t allowed, Jean.” He pauses softly, “but, I do like her.” 
“That’s allowed.” Eren continues quietly.
Jean gazes at his teal-eyed comrade sitting across from him, watching the starlight cast shadows on his titan marks as Eren slowly lays down.
"It is," Jean gently nods his head in agreement, "she's pretty."
Eren hums lowly once the buzzing silence fills the distance between them. The toffee-haired man across from him tucks his hair behind his ear.
Jean decides to press on. "What kind of pretty?"
Eren puffs out an airy chuckle,
"The kind that makes your bones ache."
The Yeagers weren't particularly known for openly expressing emotions other than rage and a fiery passion, so Eren's newfound tenderness surprises Jean more than he'd like to admit.
"How?" He asks as Eren plays with the loose strands of hair framing his face.
"That's not appropriate." Eren sternly presses his chapped lips together, though the hesitant hitch in his voice gives him away. "The... The other day, she smiled at me. I think I stopped breathing. I think she broke me a little."
"She causes you pain?"
Jean stares at him blankly, observing the way his chest slowly rises when a crack in Eren's voice breaks.
"My chest aches around her," he whispers, "it feels like I'm swallowing dying stars."
"Maybe you should love her less," He hesistantly replies, but Eren doesn't seem to react to his suggestion. "That would be the sensible thing to do."
"And yet," Jean raises a brow at Eren's response,
"And yet?" He repeats after him.
"Every second I'm with her, I could bear the pain a thousand times over. Even once the whole world will stand against me."
Jean's eyes softens, and his heart breaks for the unexpected friend he made along the years. "That sounds a lot like love, Yeager."
Eren sighs. "Maybe it is."
The peace that covers the night will be the last for a long time, both of the men knowing that tomorrow's sunrise will no longer hold the same promise. Jean asks a final question.
"You aren't afraid anymore?"
"No," tears pool his tired eyes, "She makes me brave."
___________________
N.B hey guys! this is sorta my first post, so it’s just a little prompt i wanted to put up!
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