ayanacam

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

:05

Two Months Ago

November 24th, 2022

Thanksgiving Day

Christen slowly rubbed her belly as the car started slowing down to stop in front of her parent's house. It was a maternal habit she had immediately picked up around her fifth month of pregnancy. She was now eight months, due sometime in mid-December. She was huge, something she had been struggling with for a time but Dallas had always reassured she was beautiful each and every time. Christen was ready for her little one to come out, anticipation of having a mini-me around seemed so exciting. She could hardly wait.

Dallas had parked, turning to Christen.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dallas looked concerned, scared that his wife was hiding something from him.

"Yes, I'm sure. Just feeling a little big today." She sighed.

"You're beautiful baby, and even more so that you're carrying our angel. It'll never change." Dallas reassured, pulling her head down to meet his lips. His hand smoothly rubbed over Christen's belly as Christen sighed in contentment. Sometimes she needed to be reassured.

Dallas smiled at her before exiting the car to come to her side, helping her out. Christen heaved herself up against Dallas's weight before straightening her black sweater dress. She had taken a waddle up once she hit her third trimester, her back consistently making her ache, but she didn't mind.

"Ready?" Dallas questioned, making sure all of the food packed and Christen were okay.

She nodded, beginning her penguin walk while Dallas quietly chuckled in the background. He loved her walk. The fact that it was caused by their own creation made it special to him. He wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Christen stepped up the stairs slowly, huffing breaths from exhaustion. It seemed like every time she did anything, she was short of breath.

Christen immediately opened the door as she stepped in front, seeing no reason to wait as this was her own home.

Everyone had cheered as they walked through door, swarming around Christen and her big belly. Her mood had immediately shifted from calm to annoyed. She hadn't been big on touching lately, besides from Dallas. The feel of having multiple people around since she had revealed she was pregnant had been challenging. She normally would want tons of hugs and warm touches, but lately she hadn't wanted any of it. Being uncomfortable pregnant was enough without all the maneuvering she had to do to even hug someone. She'd rather avoid it.

"Did you guys make it safely?" Christen's mother asked once they got settled.

"Yes mom." Christen rolled her eyes, her mother the epitome of worrisome.

"We did Maria, thank you." Dallas replied, his hand smoothing over Christen's bangs as she leaned into him appreciating the warmth he'd given her.

"I know baby, you're ready for this to be over." Maria sat down next to her daughter, patting her knee. "She'll be here before you know it."

Christen groaned, "I want her out now. I'm ready to sleep normally again."

Dallas chuckled lowly into Christen's head, rubbing her shoulder.

"Alright guys, time to eat." Christen's dad called from the kitchen.

Dallas removed himself swiftly, his hands held out to pull Christen up. She stumbled slightly as he pulled a little too hard, but quickly balanced herself again. They all led themselves into the kitchen, cousins and grandparents crowded around the table.

"So, how long are you going to be off work after the pregnancy Dallas?" Christen's grandpa, Jack Collins, asked.

"About three months, longer if we don't find a nanny within that time frame."

"A nanny?" Christen's grandmother, Lucille Collins, exasperated. "In my day, the wife was a stay at home mother. You don't want to do that Chrissy?"

Christen screamed internally, her grandmother always a "do-it-my-way" figure. She didn't like when someone stepped out of those boundaries, and being a full time wife and mother was one of those boundaries.

"I figured we'd both go back to work, me in the gallery and him at the office. Life doesn't stop even when children come into the picture Gam." Christen forced a smile, her voice short.

Lucille scoffed, "You should always be in your children's life. You miss all the important milestones when you hire someone to take care of your child."

"Well it's 2022, not 1963." Christen snapped, her patience wearing thin. She wanted the discussion dropped and she wasn't in the mood to argue. Everyone around the table had gone quiet, their utensils clanking awkwardly against the expensive china Christen's parents always pulled out for the holidays.

"I think it's time to play White Elephant, don't you guys?" Her father announced, the tension relieved once the family tradition had been suggested.

Everyone piled their dishes into the kitchen and immediately moved into the family room.

Present Day

January 19th 2023

"Can we come in?" Andrew asked softly, not wanting to set the woman off.

Caroline debated silently, her mind reeling as she looked over the two people in Dallas's life she knew about very well. Christen especially. Dallas and Caroline had met three years ago at a bar in Times Square. Unfortunately she had learned the next morning that Dallas was married when he had lost his mind over the drunken mistake. Caroline had felt terrible, both of them highly intoxicated without anyone to stop what had been done.

Dallas had apologized profusely, leaving shortly thereafter. Unfortunately a month later, Caroline had found she was pregnant and a few more weeks later, with twins. A boy and a girl. She knew she had to contact Dallas, he had deserved the right to know.

Dallas had been less than happy to hear the news the day she had called the office. He went ballistic, cursing to the Gods. He calmed over the next few days eventually giving Caroline a sensible situation, her to be a secret.

They had gone no further than a friendly hug and a doctor's appointment but after the third trimester, they had quickly become more. Lingering touches and stolen kisses had become a thing and before they knew it, sex had been involved along with feelings. The twins had been born and Dallas promised to leave Christen. In the mean time, however, she would stay up here and wait.

"Sure." Caroline swallowed.

"I'm sure you know who this is?" Andrew pestered, seeing if the woman would lie.

Caroline nodded her head, ashamed and guilty. "Yes, it's nice to meet you Christen."

Christen found herself to be strangely quiet, not quite feeling the moment to be real. She was looking her husband's mistress in her face on her own porch and Christen couldn't help but feel her blood boil.

All three of them walked through the home, a hallway dividing the rooms in between. Overall the house was lovely, hints of Dallas everywhere Christen looked. Pictures of him had been posted everywhere with their family. Christen's heart tugged in hurt as she eventually looked down at her feet.

Andrew was disgusted, silent murderous rage filling his body as he thought about bringing Dallas back to life just to kill him again. He was utterly appalled, he never knew his best friend since college could do such a thing. His fingers interlaced with Christen's as he noticed her state. She wouldn't look anywhere, her curls covering most of her face as she kept eye contact with the floor.

"Would you guys like anything to drink?" Caroline offered.

"A water would be nice." Andrew suggested.

Caroline nodded and pulled herself to the fridge, producing two bottles of water.

"May I ask why you two came to visit me?" Caroline finally sliced the room full of tension.

"The insurance policy needs to be handled." Andrew curtly stated, infuriated by the fact that this woman was bold and daring. In a moment like this, she didn't have the right to ask any questions.

Caroline nodded, "What did you guys need to know?"

"Did you even feel guilty sleeping with a married man or is that the whore in you?" Christen asked, her courage had finally found a voice.

Caroline was taken aback, not surprised by the accusation but nevertheless shocked that Christen had asked it in this certain way. She cleared her throat and swallowed," Listen, what happened between Dallas and I will stay between us, even if he no longer is here."

"Well it's Christen's business now since she now has to file for you to be taken care of, so make this trip worth our while and she may consider giving you a part of her trust." Andrew worded slowly, driving each word home.

Caroline felt intimidated, Dallas had said Andrew was a gentle giant. It was nothing like the steel gentleman before her. "Ask away then."

"When did the affair start?" Christen murmured.

"May 2020." Caroline offered. "We met at a bar in Times Square and we had sex."

"That's the night you conceived the twins?" Andrew questioned.

Caroline nodded and Christen became sick. That was the month she had had the third miscarriage. Each one hurt more than the last, she would make it tiny bits farther but it would always end up with her in a hospital bed for 24 hours and bed rest immediately after. Caroline had conceived just fine. Christen knew it had been her. The reason conceiving had been impossible was on her end.

"Did you ever feel any remorse?" Christen swallowed, her mind unraveling.

Caroline sighed deeply, "In moments I did, but I won't lie, for the most part no."

Christen nodded, taking in her words.

"And what were Dallas' thoughts?" Andrew pressed.

"H- He felt guilty, every night and day. He would always talk about you and how much it hurt to cheat. He said that his fear of hurting you overrode his guilty conscience." Caroline admitted.

Christen finally had gotten a good look at Caroline. She was wearing a ratty old tee, no doubt Dallas' and a pair of leggings and white fuzzy socks. Her blonde hair was in a sloppy bun and her face was swollen as if she had been crying all night.

Christen was mindful of her next question. She wanted to stir the pot.

"Why didn't either one of you stop if you both felt guilty?"

Caroline took a deep breath, "We loved each other."

Christen froze, as did Andrew. Andrew wanted to strangle her from across the coffee table that was placed strategically in front of them. She had the audacity to claim such a thing but in Andrew's mind, Dallas had loved neither one of them. He loved the game of forbidden treats. He knew Dallas too well, that Dallas wanted his cake and to eat it too. Andrew thought he had changed when he met Christen but he had been dead wrong.

Andrew flicked his eyes over to Christen, her reaction being gauged. He didn't know what Christen was feeling, she wasn't even looking up from the coffee table. She simply had her arms folded under her chin with her fingers splayed across her mouth.

Christen didn't want to ask any more questions, it seemed like all the ones she had before had disappeared into thin air. She didn't want to learn any new secrets about Dallas. Everything she had learned already had been enough. Although, there were a couple questions she needed answered.

"Did you know Dallas was part of illegal activity?" Christen voiced.

Caroline nodded sheepishly.

Another thing Christen didn't know.

"It wasn't by him telling me. I had just caught a couple of transactions going through his bank when he asked me to check his bank account. A lawyer only makes so much. He confessed when I started asking too many questions." Caroline admitted.

So she had known everything, from the imminent danger that always lurked around to his relationship with Christen. She had known his finances and every back door about Dallas. So exactly why had Dallas kept Christen around? It seemed that he had everything and more up here with Caroline.

"He loved you...Christen," Caroline started. "He loved you so much that he wouldn't leave. He talked about you all the time, and I know you've got so many things coming through you right now but do not ever doubt what he felt for you." She sounded broken, as if this was hard for her to admit.

Christen shook, in hurt and anger. "Do not tell me what you think. It doesn't justify what I know."

Caroline nodded, preceding to back off. She didn't want to cause any more harm to anyone. She had the damage in front of her. Christen looked, in literal terms, broken. She had bruises on her face, her tight brown curls layered around her forehead and cheeks. She looked to be breathing hard and from what Caroline had heard, she had been beaten with a bat before she was knocked out.

"I think it's time to go. The lawyers will be in contact." Andrew softly spoke, standing up from the teal colored couch.

Caroline stood along with him, Andrew reaching out to pull Christen from the couch. Christen winced, the sharp pain of her ribs catching her.

"Are you okay?" Andrew worriedly questioned.

"Are the meds in the car?"

"Yes, should be in the glove compartment." Andrew answered to Christen.

Caroline stayed quiet, her heart hurting for Christen. She had no right, that she knew. But she couldn't help but place herself at the scene, imagining herself in Christen's shoes. Caroline watched Christen cautiously, ready to jump to her aid. She may have done heinous acts but that didn't take away from her caring nature.

Christen made it to the front door slowly but surely, Andrew's aid helping immensely. Caroline held the door open so no further obstruction could hinder Christen's progress.

"I know this really isn't my place. I just want to say I'm sorry. Things between Dallas and I...they should have never happened. There's nothing I could say or do, that would make this better." Caroline ejected.

Christen's blood boiled but she held her tongue. She had nothing further to say to Dallas's mistress. Andrew nodded to her apology before escorting Christen to the car. Andrew slid Christen in the car softly, aware to not stir her abruptly before he grabbed the pills and put them in her hand.

Christen gulped the pills down quickly, begging internally for the pain to stop. Nothing could make the pain in her heart go away. Dallas had ripped her to shreds and seeing Caroline today had done the final tinge on her heart. She had kids with the love of her life. She had gotten everything in life that Christen had wanted.

Christen hadn't realized that tears were now streaming down her face until Andrew gripped her hand from her face and shushed her. Christen wailed, her body racked with sobs. Andrew didn't know what to do, however streams of tears followed his face as well. After a few minutes, Christen finally calmed. Her body shook from time to time but Andrew could tell the worst was over, for now.

Christen stayed silent as Andrew gripped her hand and started the car. His thumb pressed against the push to start and off they were.

Christen for the most part had slept throughout the car ride. The darkness enveloping them as the trip to the motel back in town was almost over. Andrew quietly looked over at Christen's sleeping frame, detailing her. Her curls draped across her face as she breathed quietly. Her pink lips were parted slightly due to the positioning of her hand against her right cheek. Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks as she moved slightly to make herself comfortable. Andrew was entranced. He saw Christen for what she was, not for what she put on. 

Andrew pulled into an empty parking lot, the motel lights lit up the dark scenery. Trees lined the property, slightly moving in the wind. There were a couple of other cars, but for the most part the motel was vacant.

He triple checked Christen's sleeping state before moving out of the car to grab a room for Christen and him. The steps to the reception office had him on edge, but his feelings were kept in check. He couldn't be a weakling now.

The receptionist, the same from the night before was here again.

"Another night?" the clerk asked. 

Andrew breathed out a snort, "Unfortunately." 

The clerk rolled his eyes and took the card that was held between Andrew's slim hand. Andrew looked around the place briefly. The lights were dingy, the floors were dirty, and the furniture in the lobby was tore in multiple places. Andrew wondered how this place was even still open, what with the lack of customers and upkeep. 

Andrew quickly gripped his card back and stumbled out of the office area to help Christen upstairs. As he grasped his thoughts, he opened Christen's door to find her awake. Her curls were pulled towards the back of her head in a messy bun. Strands of small curls framed her face, blocking some of the damage done by her attackers. He still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world, despite everything she'd been through in the last week. 

Christen clung to his arm as she pulled herself out of the sedan. She hated feeling this way, helpless. It only made her thoughts worse. She still had so many unanswered questions for Caroline and Dallas. But one was someone she hated, the other is dead. She couldn't bare sitting another minute with the woman who got her life way before she had actually started hers. 

As Christen started to move, her ribs began to throb heavily. With a sharp intake of breath, she doubled over, causing Andrew to catch her immediately. 

"What's wrong? What hurts?" his frantic voice and hands moving around her. 

"Meds, please." Christen gritted out. 

He immediately moved Christen to the side of the car to hold her weight before going to grab her medication. The rattle of the pills in the bottle calmed Christen down, at least she wouldn't be in any physical pain for awhile. The emotional pain was something she hadn't quite grasped yet. After swallowing her two white pills, she stretched up slowly to ease her pain. Andrew caught her as she stumbled and pulled her arm around his neck so she could have some balance. 

The walk to the room was silent, no words spoken between Andrew and Christen. Neither one of them knew what to say. What exactly was there to say? 'I'm sorry your husband cheated on you and got himself killed by doing illegal business?' or 'I'm sorry that your best friend wasn't who you thought he was?'. Neither option sounded like one the other wanted to hear. 

As soon as they had stepped into the room, Andrew had placed Christen on the couch and went to the kitchen. 

"Coffee?" Andrew's voice sounded. 

Christen nodded, even though it was late, she couldn't help but want coffee to soothe whatever she was feeling. The Keurig coffee machine began to whir, keeping Christen occupied with her thoughts. 

Christen stared out of the window to the empty parking lot, "What am I supposed to do Drew?" 

Her voice was soft, tears laden in the thickness. 

"I don't know." He answered quietly.

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

:04

A Month Ago

December 17th, 2022

3:12 AM

Christen screamed. Her vagina had expanded to 10 cm and she was now pushing. Dallas, her mother and father were in the room. They had all banded around the top of her bed while nurses and her obstetrician were making sure her vitals stayed stable through the delivery.

Dallas whispered in her ear, "She's almost here baby, keep going."

Christen almost killed him, he had no idea how hard this was. She had opted for a natural birth. She didn't want her baby coming out drugged, she had heard too many horror stories of how epidurals had affected the baby. She was in agonizing pain, hoping her little one would take it easy on her but she had been in labor for almost thirty hours and finally her bundle of joy was ready to come out.

"Alright Christen, I need you to give me a big push. One last one, Miss Angela is crowning." Dr. Nichols had yelled over the voices in the room.

Christen breathed in as best as she could before pushing with everything she had. A few seconds later and the cries of her baby girl had greeted the room. Dr. Nichols held her up for a few seconds so that Christen could catch a glimpse. Sweat, spit, and salty tears covered her face as she saw her newborn. She was the most perfect little thing she had ever seen.

Dallas smiled, himself crying as he saw his little girl wailing. She was here. So many months of anticipation, where Dallas and Christen couldn't sit still with all of the thoughts of everything they wanted to do.

He looked towards Christen who was getting handled by the nurses, wiping her face and adjusting her so no further complications could happen. Christen's heart rate had started slowing, almost losing her before .

She looked tired but content, watching Angela from across the room as the other nurses had cleaned her of the blood and minerals of Christen's amniotic sac.

"Alright Daddy, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

Dallas leaped into action, bringing himself in front of his angel. Tears wept and breaths were stolen as he looked at her full head of brunette tufts, her cheeks rosy and tummy big as if she had just fed. He gripped the scissors that Dr. Nichols had handed him, moving in once Dr. Nichols had stretched the cord and guided him to cut accordingly.

The rope was thick, only departing from her after the third snip. Dallas smiled, Angela looking up, but quiet. She hadn't said anything after the nurses had washed her off and somehow he knew this baby was going to be the easiest thing to handle.

"Do you want to hold her?" A nurse asked suddenly, he had been too entranced by his own daughter.

He nodded, his words not coming through. The nurse carefully placed her into Dallas's arms as he immediately walked to his wife. She was watching the sight lovingly. So long they had wanted this and now they finally had their wish granted. Everything in her life was making sense somehow again.

Dallas crept over, watching Angela and Christen as best he could. He leaned over Christen and let her have Angela, before settling in beside her encasing his wife and child. He whispered sweet nothings to his family, Christen's heart full. They had just looked at her, staring at the life they had created.

Present Day

January 18th, 2023

Christen's eyes pulled apart, slightly crusted together from the protein released in her sleep. The window had streamed in a small light, giving some room to see into the overall darkness. Andrew, on the other bed, was sleeping comfortably on his side, breathing steadily. He was still dressed in his suit from yesterday, shoes still on and on top of the comforter. Christen's heart pulled as she knew he probably had a hard time sleeping, he was always up at the crack of dawn. He never slept in, it was one of his "things". She slid the covers from over her body and out of the bed, tiptoeing to the door. She needed caffeine, as much of it as she could get. In luck, a Keurig machine graced the kitchen counter with multiple pods in the carrier next to it.

She popped one in, the machine whirring before pouring it into the cup she had found in the cabinet. She breathed slowly, trying to make right of her mind. Everything was still so new, only a week into everything happened. She didn't even know how to think or even what to say. She simply existed at this point.

Andrew stirred about an hour later, joining her in silence with a cup of joe of his own. They sipped quietly, afraid to break the silence. Somehow he knew if he broke the silence, she would break again, crying maybe even screaming as the hurt took over the entirety of her body. However, what he had to say had to be known.

"I was given her address from the station yesterday. When do you want to go?"

"How far is she?" Christen responded with her own question.

"About eight hours, maybe seven if I drove fast enough." Andrew answered.

She nodded, "Then we'll go today. We'll get there at night time since it's ten right now. But we can find a place to stay until we can see her."

"I have the number, do you want me to call her? Let her know we're coming?"

To that Christen shook her head, "She might not answer if she knows. What mistress wants to own up to her discretions willingly?"

Andrew agreed to that, he had read the file before passing out on the bed. All of her information and pictures included. She had three kids, one from another previous spouse while the other two were Dallas's. One was five, the others were two. The thought disgusted him as she knew he had a wife, had been married and they chose to have an affair. It rubbed him the wrong way as he thought of Dallas cheating on the woman he had grown so close to. He didn't know how he could do that to Christen, she was the complete package in his eyes. It's what had made him fall so hard for her that night.

"Then we'll leave in half an hour." Andrew stood, placing his cup in the sink.

She nodded in agreement, moving to the room to grab a shower.

Her head was immersed under the shower head, steaming water pouring over her. It felt good to have some type of feeling, she was barely sore anymore. With all of the medications she had to take to keep the pain away, and the hot water cascading over her body, she almost...almost forgot who and where she was. She scrubbed the loofah over her body, cleaning ever nook and cranny she could find and then twice over. She somehow could still feel Dallas' hands over her body. She wanted the memory and the pain to disappear.

She sighed, bringing the shower to an end by cutting the water supply. She stepped out and rubbed the soft white towel over her body. The water being soaked in, leaving her body in a dewy state. She enclosed her body in the fabric and stepped out into the room, vacated. Andrew must've been in the living room, she could faintly hear the news playing in the background as she slipped some clothes on.

Leggings, a mauve sweater, and her beat up white vans would have to do as she needed to complete this trip as soon as possible.

She stepped out and Andrew looked up, Christen meeting his sight. Even in the bruised state she was in, she was still the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

"You should shower, it'll be a long drive until we can find a place to shower again." Christen voiced.

He stood, weaving around her to start his own shower. Christen turned and sat on the couch.

"More news regarding the Christen Collins' case coming up. We'll be right back." The anchor had called out.

She knew it wouldn't be in her best interest to watch this, so she took the remote and flipped until she found a more suitable channel. She chose Friends, her favorite past time. She had watched it her entire life, probably watching the show more than 100 times during the course of her life. She knew it like the back of her hand, and somehow the familiarity didn't squeeze at her heart as she heard Chandler's voice come through the screen.

Andrew had appeared after a short time, dressed in jeans and a Polo with a pair of Nike's on his feet. He looked good, too good. Part of her selfishly wanted him, but she knew it would only end in disaster. She wouldn't be alright in a few days, this would take months even years. She stood and grabbed her bag before they headed out. Check out was at 12 and the motel didn't have a checking out policy, so they immediately bee-lined for the car and got onto the road.

This woman lived in Manhattan, New York, and Christen didn't want to look at the address. She didn't want to know if the place this woman lived was anywhere Dallas took her during holiday or romantic trips. She just wanted this day to be a thing of the past, she wanted everything to be as it seemed.

The car ride had been mostly silent, the wavering of the radio coming in and out as they changed states and adjusted accordingly.

Christen had thoughts racing through her mind, asking questions she couldn't voice yet. She couldn't fathom any of the answers she could be granted with.

How did they meet?

Did she always know Dallas had a wife?

Did she care?

Why did the affair continue?

How did she feel?

Was she remorseful to anything she had done?

How old were her kids?

That was one thing she didn't want to know the answer to. That would give her a definitive timeline of when Dallas had cheated, conceived and birthed. Maybe everything would start to make sense, she would begin to piece all of his "business trips" and late night meetings. Her mind was in a horrid state, her thought process revealing if he cheated with her, were there more?

If you could cheat with one, you could cheat with multiple. That was what her mom said to her from the moment she found out her freshman year boyfriend Nick Anderson, a junior, had cheated. It had come to light from a friend. It hadn't been a good feeling and it still wasn't, knowing she had been cheated on during her marriage, possibly entirely throughout.

Andrew had spent the entire ride contemplating the closer they got. Was this a good idea to show up unannounced? Did Christen even need to meet this woman? Couldn't the insurance company handle the life policy while leaving her out of it? She was already broken enough, she didn't need more tainting from the possible answers they could receive. His mind was whirling by the time they had gotten off the exit.

He looked over, finding Christen sleeping. Her breaths were shallow due to the bruising of her ribs. Andrew hadn't needed to worry, but still he was. He wanted to make sure she was okay, he knew this was taking a toll on her and he had no idea how to make it better.

Andrew found a local 24 hour motel, pulling into the parking lot and walking in to get a room before he woke Christen up. Leaving her sleeping probably gave her more peace than he did and he didn't want to disturb that.

"I need a room with two beds please." He looked at the bored receptionist.

"We only have one beds, all of the two beds are rented out."

"That's fine." Andrew sighed. "How much?"

"A hundred and fifty for a night, add that to any other night." The clerk responded.

Andrew almost scoffed at the expensive room, it was run down and shady but they needed a place to sleep.

"One night please." He handed his credit card over.

The clerk eagerly took it and charged it, leaving Andrew annoyed but still walking to Christen to transport her to the room.

He opened her side of the door and shook her shoulder lightly, calling her name. She roused quickly but tiredly. Her eyes peeled open and the sight that greeted her was an exhausted Andrew.

"I could only get a one bed, the two beds were all sold out." Andrew whispered.

She nodded, thinking it would probably be good to sleep next to a soul. She had missed it terribly.

She shakily got out of the car, her medication wearing off as she stepped out. She wanted to stretch but refrained, probably not wise to add more pain to what she was already feeling.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, "I just need my meds. The pain is coming in."

Andrew immediately pulled out two orange pill bottles, dumping two of each onto her palm and handing her a water from the backseat. She gulped them down and immediately began to feel the effects, the pain was starting to wear off.

"You okay to go up alone or do you need a crutch?" Andrew asked while picking up their bags from the trunk.

"I've got it, just be patient please." She softly spoke.

He nodded and began to walk behind her, his hands at a ready to catch her in case her strength dwindled up the steps.

They got inside of the room safely, dropping the bags onto the bed. Andrew saw Christen go into the restroom, probably wanting to relieve herself since they had just spent the last eight hours driving. Six of which she was asleep for. Andrew quickly stripped down into his pajama pants and simple white tee before climbing under the sheets. Christen emerged from the bathroom, looking tired.

"You okay?" Andrew asked.

She nodded, "I just need to sleep."

She grabbed her clothes from her own duffel bag and quickly put them on in the restroom. She didn't want glimpses of her body, knowing that she was still bruised and beaten. She hoped her attackers never saw the world again for doing what they did. They had taken every inch of her supposed life and now she was silently filled with rage.

She emerged from the restroom and slid under the covers next to Andrew who was sound asleep. She sighed softly to herself, somehow uncomfortable sleeping next to her deceased husband's best friend but she needed rest and she was going to have to put that aside.

"Christen?" a voice quietly aroused her, a hand on her shoulder.

Her eyelids slid open shortly after and realized Andrew was dressed and ready to go.

"We need to go soon. Get ready." Andrew notified her and left to the living room.

She nodded to herself, silently bracing herself for the turmoil that could happen. She went over the questions she needed to ask for the insurance policy and for herself. A knot of uneasiness plotted itself in her stomach and she didn't know whether her decision to come here was a good one. It was too late now, she didn't have the choice of turning around.

She slipped on a thick, black, turtleneck sweater with blue skinny jeans and her trusty Vans. She never went a day without wearing them.

"Ready?" Andrew asked as she came out of the room.

She nodded, her throat clogged with fear of crying. 

He nodded, grabbing her duffel and walking out of the room, Christen following suit. Her heart was beating loudly in her own ears, her fear coming out slightly.

Entering into the car, she sat down waiting for Andrew to input the address into the navigation system. She fiddled and twitched as the drive began, Andrew at one point laying his hand on her thigh, giving her silent reassurance. Her hand slipped over his, her throat closing up and tears threatening her eyes. She had to do this, for closure. To get some semblance of peace from the tragedy called her life.

After almost an hour, they pulled into a nice neighborhood. Brick houses and green yards were seen for quite some time before pulling up next to a brick house that was littered with toys all over the yard. Bikes were parked in the driveway alongside of two cars, a BMW and a Hyundai Sonata. A small garden was in front of the porch, and a swing that covered the left side of it. They found no signs of life but there had to be, cars were home and it was a weekend.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked once more for clarification.

She nodded, words still not coming to her throat. They were racing through her mind, she didn't trust herself to speak quite yet.

The car doors opened and her legs somehow caught the computation from her brain to move. Andrew caught up with her on her side and led her up the brick walk way, holding her arm and waist as they traveled up. With stairs, he handled her with extra patience, guiding her until they had reached the last step.

Andrew put forth his hand and hesitated before ringing the small circular doorbell that graced the entrance. After a moment of no response, footsteps finally sounded behind the door. The clicking of the locks ensued, and there stood Dallas' mistress, Caroline Davis.

"Can I help you?" Her voice soft and tired.

"You must be Caroline, my name is Andrew and this is Christen Collins."

A look of realization dawned on the woman's face, her brown eyes widening alongside of her mouth falling short.

"Nice to meet you Caroline." Christen softly muttered.

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

:03

Four Months Ago...

August 6th, 2022

"Alright class, let's bring our legs into a bent position and begin to do our quick breaths." Instructor Carson Bengali spoke happily.

Dallas held up Christen's legs, her stomach rounded more than ever at the fifth month mark. Dallas smiled as Christen huffed at her discomfort, Christen restless than ever since she couldn't lay on her stomach anymore. Her ankles were starting swell and her hormones were everywhere. She wasn't allowed to work, according to him, afraid of not being somewhere he knew nothing weird could happen without his supervision.

"Are you okay?" Dallas whispered into her hair.

"I'm going to be when I give birth to your daughter. She keeps moving and it's annoying." She answered with annoyance.

Dallas chuckled into her ear, "Well I think you look sexier than ever."

Christen could feel the heat in her body travel up her neck and into the chubbiness of her cheeks. Lately she had been horny as ever and nothing could satisfy her, even countless hours mounted on her husband. They would spend weekends simply trying to satisfy her craving for him.

"Alright class let's begin." Carson clapped.

Quick breaths exercise ensued and Dallas had even joined in along with the other soon to be fathers. Christen looked around, other partners around the room, laid out on a variation of colored mats. Other wives looked as uncomfortable as she felt, the prospect of having her vagina on technical display a little awkward. Christen began to focus on Carson, her breaths following the rhythm she was pacing out for everyone in the class.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha," Carson brought her arms up and down, "Partners make sure your wives are getting enough air into their diaphragm. Don't let them short themselves because of the tempo."

Multiple significant others brought themselves around watching their girls, making sure they were acquainted with everything.

"Are you okay baby?" Dallas smiled.

She nodded, her breaths on a consistent pace. Her throat was burning with the quickened pace of breathing but she was doing this to make sure she could get through the birth of their little girl.

Dallas held his wife's legs up as she breathed, a warm sensation rushing throughout his body. He was undeniably excited, so ready for what was to come. He had been wanting a child for what had felt like years, but he wasn't so sure he'd get them, that is until now.

"Alright class, five more seconds and then we're done!" Carson announced.

Present Day 

January 17th, 2023

The class had ended that day on such a happy note from what Christen could remember. They had gone to lunch and enjoyed their simplistic meals before heading over to the park and walking for a few minutes so she could get her exercise of the day in. It seemed like so long ago but if she thought about it, it was only weeks; sixteen weeks to be exact.

"Christen?" Andrew's voice abruptly brought her to the car.

The windows were frosted, tinted over in a clear dust in just the few minutes that the car had been sitting in the parking lot. The engine had been cut off for a minute or two, but that didn't stop North Carolina's winter frost from creeping over the two of them.

"Yeah?" Her voice thick, almost like she had swallowed a glob of peanut butter.

"Are you okay? Do you need to talk?"

She shook her head, her eyes focused on the small parking lot of the police station. She could slightly remember the night her and her late husband had gotten caught for streaking on the small town's river that one night, but that was years ago and the man she knew then was nothing like the man she had realized he had been during his years on this earth with her.

"I just need to know," she spoke suddenly. "Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"About what he was doing? Did you know...about the other..woman?" She choked.

Andrew's heart broke. Andrew hadn't known, but he might've been thrown signs that hadn't clearly stood out to him. His head shook, his eyes watching her every move in case of a small breakdown.

"Why didn't I see the signs?" She questioned herself softly.

It was all starting to make sense. The business trips and how secretive he was about the bank accounts. They were always separate; she had hers and he had his. Nothing was ever joint in the making of their marriage, except their license. Her mind was racing, searching for all of the times something could fit into this catastrophic puzzle of events. This was her life, this wasn't a scenario that someone could make up.

"Christen, you had nothing to do with him and his ways." Andrew testified, he refused to see this woman beat herself up over a man that wasn't a good one to stay faithful and honest.

"And what if I did?" Christen's voice was even thicker, something Andrew couldn't tolerate.

Tears dropped heavily across her cheeks, staining and drying streaks on the way down. Her face was dry and cracked, lack of moisturization and hydration playing into her state of madness. Her curls strewn across her face as she tried to hide from the cameras and the pitiful stares of the hometown people. Everyone knew, everyone. There wasn't a soul in this world that didn't know, at least in Christen's eyes.

"Christen you can't blame yourself for his mistakes and secrets. He isn't worth it. He was never worth it." Andrew started the car. 

She nodded, not truly taking in his words but instead disbelieving.

Christen's thoughts were everywhere and no where. Her body still being in a state of shock, hearing information she didn't quite believe. She had thought something else for the last few years of her life, her trust never failing against Dallas. Her perception of him was completely altered now, something she could never get back. 

"I want to meet her." she whispered as Andrew slipped onto the road and continued straight. 

Andrew's face pulled into one of shock. His emotions were way less worse than what Christen must have been feeling but even he knew it was probably a bad idea to meet the woman, whom carried Dallas's "bastard" children in a way, so soon after the incident. He knew Christen would be even more broken if she was given more truth on top of her dwindling mental state. That trip could lead her straight into a mental hospital, that he positively knew. 

"Why?" Andrew spoke after a few more moments of silence. 

"She's hurting too Andrew," Christen explained quietly. "She has kids with Dallas, at one point living a picture perfect life or somewhat. He wasn't there. I don't know what Dallas had set up for her."  she choked, thinking this woman was just as set as she was. That Dallas had everything taken care of in case something did happen with his shady past. "I also need to be in touch for the insurance policy since he's gone. He didn't have a will, so everything is rightfully mine. She deserves support too." 

Always the person to have a big heart even when she was broken. Andrew was in full disbelief in what Christen had presented. She was going through turmoil, a destructive and disastrous one, yet she wasn't even thinking of herself. Her husband and her daughter were both brutally murdered, her the only survivor to the madness. She had also been hurt, her ribs and face busted. 

"If that's what you want." 

Christen simply nodded. She couldn't find the words to say what she really wanted to say. That she was hurt, obliterated, and exhausted. She didn't want to admit that she felt like disappearing. She, at this point, could care less about Dallas. Her anger shining through subtly. Her own daughter was taken away due to his careless mess. She wanted her daughter more than ever. 

"When would you want to go?" 

"As soon as possible, preferably." Her voice sounded. 

She sounded far away, her ears still disheveled after being hit on the side of her head. 

Andrew nodded, "I'll get her information and I'll let you know." 

The car pulled into the motel parking lot. Andrew hadn't wanted to take her to the house. The crime scene was still commenced and blood was everywhere. He had been their as soon as he was called to be Christen's lawyer. He had to know what he was dealing with. Seeing his best friend's body was one for the books. Eyes were wide open while blood, that had dried over the last twenty-four hours, sat around the entirety of his body. His face was as white as a ghost, blood drained. His body was upright, and spread eagle across the foyer floor. They suspected that was Dallas's demise, being thrown off the balcony from upstairs. 

The rest of the house was covered in blood spatters and broken memories. Pictures, with their broken frames, covered the stairs and upstairs. The nursery bed was broken, luckily Angela hadn't passed that way. Didn't mean that it hadn't been a painful death, but Andrew knew he wouldn't be able to deal if he had seen his god daughter smashed by the bed. Her small body would've been crushed, splattering everywhere in vicinity. She had passed after being suffocated in her car seat, patiently waiting for her mother that had almost saved her. 

What Christen didn't know was that there was camera footage of the whole incident, there security cameras working faithfully. They had them installed after Angela was born so that they would always know she was safe. Andrew had seen everything. 

His stomach becoming queasy, he opened the car door and puked. Christen immediately jumping to his aid while his arms forced her back. Tears streamed his face as he let the contents of his stomach go. 

Eventually it had subsided, Christen standing to the right of his door. She wanted to reach out and console him. She knew this situation had taken a toll on him just as it did her. 

"It's not your fault." Her voice broke. 

Andrew shook his head, his breathing even but tears trailing down his cheeks. 

"I should've protected you Christen. That was my promise. Ever since that night, I tried to keep it. I'm so sorry." Andrew admitted through broken syllables. 

Christen shook her head, here was not the place to discuss the night she realized her feelings for Andrew. That maybe she had chosen the wrong man to spend the rest of her life with. 

"You couldn't have known. It's not your fault Andrew." She whispered through her erratic heart beating. 

She pulled his arm, dragging him around his mess and pulling him to the side. 

They hugged while he leaned against the car for support. His head buried in her hair, she smelled of anesthetic and disinfectant. Somehow calming and disorienting in the least, but that was the least of his worries. His heart was beginning to calm down slightly, his breathing returning to normal. 

"Come on." He spoke softly. He tapped her shoulders and spun her around to lead her to the room. It was nice, two beds with a full access bathroom and windows. He kept the curtains closed in case of cameras sneaking pictures to incriminate Christen. 

"How long do we have here?" Christen questioned. 

"As long as you're comfortable to stay here. I didn't know if you wanted to start looking for apartments." 

She nodded, sitting on the bed. 

"Can I sleep?" Christen wanted nothing more than to do just that. She wanted to sleep the rest of her life away so that she no longer had to deal with the emotional repercussions of this situation. 

"Of course." 

She pulled the bed sheets back and slipped in, still wearing everything but her shoes that she had discarded at the front door. 

Her eyes shut and soon enough, as Andrew peaked at her a few moments later, she was fast asleep.

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

:02

Five months ago...

July 17th, 2022

The nursery was a pale mint blue, accents of gray, white, and yellow surrounding the walls. The furniture was a crisp white wood. A crib and dresser on opposites of the wall, fitting perfectly in the vision Christen had been wanting ever since she had graduated high school and had worked in her friend's mother's baby store. She knew yellow and pale blue was a neutral color, meant for any gender and she had perfectly executed it. Everything was perfect.

Christen's hands caressed her belly, her stomach protruding slightly since she was entering her second trimester. She had gotten around to finally picking a day to go and get checked. She had found out she was two months pregnant, realizing that the stress and "flu" symptoms were actually her pregnancy hormones all out of whack; however, she couldn't have been happier to find that she was expecting. Something she had been wanting with Dallas since their first year of marriage.

Thank god for miracles... Christen thought.

"Baby?" Dallas' voice sliced through her silence.

She turned, her eyes washing over her husband. Blue button down shirt and a simple sweater, pair of dark wash jeans and khaki Clark's covering his feet. He looked delectable and her libido sky rocketed with another glance.

Dallas smiled, knowing. Lately Christen had been insatiable, her hands and mouth everywhere over him within the last few weeks; especially with the fact of painting the nursery. He had been practically naked and what should've been a week paint job, turned into three.

"Alright Mrs. horny," Christen blushed. "Everyone is starting to arrive, come on."

Christen giggled, her hands covering her stomach before she moved towards her significant other.

"You ready to tell them?" Dallas gathered her hands into his.

She nodded, butterflies filling her stomach consistently at the thought of telling her family and friends that they were going to have a child. Everyone had expected them to come back from their honeymoon pregnant, but all that glowed was her tan skin from their vacation in Tahiti.

"Hey," Dallas pulled her into his chest, squeezing her gently. "This is a happy moment. Don't let the years of failed tests reign over the positive one."

He always knew what to say, Christen smiling as she looked down. Her button down baggy shirt covered what she knew was there and it made her happy. For awhile she lived with a baby without someone knowing. She got the bliss of knowing that the baby was just hers and Dallas' for a few months. No constant calls of checking in and overbearing parents, she wasn't quite ready to give it up.

"Alright, come on."

Dallas could see the gears turning inside of her head, eventually going to lead her into regression of the choice to let their closest family and friends know that they were soon to be parents. He placed his lips upon her forehead and interlaced their fingers together. He gently tugged at her, away from the nursery.

They descended the staircase, their family and friends all over the house. Some in the living space or in the kitchen attached. The house was buzzing.

"Hey! It's Christen." Logan yelled.

Everyone joined, a smile lighting her face.

"Hi Logan." She chuckled, walking over to him, embracing him shortly.

"What's going on? How are you?" Logan grinned.

"I'm great," she beamed. "You?"

He nodded, "I could be better but all's well that ends well."

She nodded, "Well if you need to talk, I'm here for you."

"I know." He had a small sad smile. "It's good to see you sis."

"Good to see you too baby bro." She punched his shoulder in playful manner.

Others eventually, one by one and groups, had said hello and began to eat the food Dallas had cooked. For about an hour and a half, everyone socialized, drinks were continuously poured and food consumed.

"Alright, alright, alright!" Dallas exclaimed.

Everyone's chatter had slowly quieted, Christen's nerves slowly building in anticipation.

"So I know you guys are all wondering why we have brought you here, even though we were all together about and week and a half ago for Fourth of July." Dallas chuckled.

Christen's eyes filled with tears as she took her next breath, "I know you guys were expecting us to be pregnant the moment we stepped off the plane from our honeymoon."

"Oh my god," Christen's mother Amelia gasped.

"We've brought you here today, to tell you guys that we are four months pregnant." Dallas smiled, looking down at her stomach, his hand gliding over the material covering it.

Everyone began to yell, cheerfully and loudly. Multiple group hugs and kisses were shared as everyone took in the news. Christen was crying and Dallas was beaming, so proud of what they had created and were now starting.

"Wait wait wait, you mean to tell me for four months I didn't know you were pregnant?" Amelia smacked Dallas' arm.

"Ow, Jesus woman." His hand soothingly rubbed the spot she had hit.

"Christen?" Amelia's gaze landed on her.

"We wanted to be sure we could make it past the first trimester. We didn't want you guys to get your hopes up." Christen guiltily shrugged.

"Well nevertheless, I'm happy for both of you. Congratulations son." Chris, Dallas' father, had clapped his shoulder.

"Thanks pops. Means a lot." Dallas smiled.

For the rest of the night, things had gone smoothly. Questions that were asked, had been answered and the nursery was shown to everyone. For the first time Christen's heart was content fully. As she looked around, everyone in her home was just as ecstatic as she had been when she found out.

Dallas and Christen had eventually ushered everyone out, the last wave and car leaving soon after they announced they had an early morning for a doctors appointment and a La Mas class.

"Thank you." Christen kissed her husbands chest.

"For what?" Dallas looked down at his wife.

"For giving me everything I could've ever possibly wanted." Christen played with the clear buttons.

A small grin graced Dallas' face as he looked at his wife being a slight mush. He knew she hated being one but had her small moments here and there.

He tilted her chin, "Thank you for being everything I've ever wanted."

Tears brimmed the sides of her eyes before Dallas pulled her into a sweet kiss. They stood on their porch, the lights a low glow. They were content and blithe.

Present Day...

January 16th, 2023

It was dimly lit in the interrogation room, a small overhead light swaying over the head of the table. Christen squinted, laying her head onto her forearms; the headache stronger than ever. The pain medication was doing nothing to subdue, her edginess more noticeable than ever as Andrew rubbed the small of her back.

"You okay?" He questioned.

It had been restless nights, ever since the unfortunate scene of events a week ago. It wasn't okay, but at this point she didn't know what that was.

"I'm fine." she responded quietly.

"You sure?" Andrew leaned, matching her eyesight.

"No, but if I'm here I must be." She admitted.

"You know Chris, we can do this another day. We don't need to rush anything. The trial isn't for a few months anyways." Andrew confirmed.

"I don't want to do this later. I don't want to get to a place where I am at least on the verge of being fine and reopen wounds." She fanned her hands around on the table. Her breaths had quickened. Her heart was racing uncontrollably, something she hadn't been able to confine the last few days.

"Christen." Andrew's voice broke.

"What?" Her eyes, filled with salty teardrops, were glassy.

"Do you want to do this another day?" Andrew asked, slowly.

She shook her head, her shoulders slumping forward; her weight resting against the middle of the cracked black table. It seemed like forever before the detective who was handling the case walked in, closing the door behind him. He nodded towards Andrew and opened his mouth as if to try and express his sympathy, but nothing came out. There was nothing that he could say that would make what he was about to say any easier.

"Ms. Collins."

Christen looked up, dried tear stains marking the redness of her cheeks. Her eyes were puffy and besides her cheeks, the rest of her looked sickly and pale. He wasn't about to comment on that though, he knew better not to.

"I won't ask you what you're feeling. I know whatever it is, isn't good and we won't rehash that." A slight pause, a deep breath followed suit. "I came across some information about your late husband. Dallas Collins."

"What information would that be?" Andrew's brows furrowed.

"Dallas Collins had been money laundering for what seems to be like, the past four years. Documentation of the accounts we found offshore and in other banks suspects that he might've taken them over from a person in a higher position who had retired."

Christen's eyes had widened, her hands shaking slightly. Her mind raced as she wondered how she couldn't have known. She had always handled the bills, the taxes, anything that meant paying companies and government officials. Her mind wandered around into the small dark corners of her brain to see if she could scour anything she could remember about anything. If something had been off or if Dallas had ever shown fear about money or people.

"Apart from that, it seems like Dallas was also involving himself into the underground drug trade, selling millions worth of cocaine, heroine, and methamphetamine's. Dallas must have gotten himself into some nasty business with a guy named Grant Valente. Do you know that name by any chance?"

Andrew's mouth was dry. All those accounts he had been handling for Dallas, multiple cards and bank accounts. He should've known. As Andrew looked over to Christen, he realized that Christen was looking even worse than before. She was like a sheet of white, pale as ever and a small sweat had broken over her skin.

"Ms. Collins?"

"No, I don't." Christen blankly answered.

Her mind was reeling, all over again. Dallas showed no fear or concern for anything dangerous lurking around their lives. Everything was always, "I'll handle it" or "It's fine baby, nothing to worry about" with a kiss placed on her lips and something else filled her mind as she was whisked into something romantic. Nothing ever screamed at her, nothing but happiness in what was turning out to be fucked up a world.

"Nothing at all?" the detective questioned softly. "Anything that could be weird. Multiple bank accounts, prepaid cards, late night phone calls, reflection of questions when you asked anything?"

"We had multiple bank accounts. Something about savings and how it would help us with retirement since the health benefits from his job were apparently shit." Christen's head was pounding, her face stuck into a frown.

"Alright that's good, anything else?"

"I never checked his wallet, but I always saw a lot of cards whenever he pulled it out, just from what I could see." Christen's shoulders moved.

"Anymore, can you think of a time he ever seemed to be secretive."

"If Dallas was secretive he had something sweet or romantic planned out. I don't think I've ever seen him being secretive about something like this." She murmured softly.

Her whole world, in which she thought was a good one, was turning out to be something completely different. She had no idea that her late husband was apart of something so dangerous and sickening. Her stomach was turning, bile rising up her throat as she continued to ponder about his late night activities.

"Also, Ms. Collins," the detective knew he was about to officially break her.

"Yes?" Christen looked up, the light too much for her migraine to handle.

"From looking into Dallas's bank accounts, we found some activity we feel you should know about. Dallas, it seems, was leading a double life from the payments we've looked over. Dallas had a wife in New York, Manhattan to be more specific. They had two kids."

Andrew's eyes grew, "Bullshit!"

The detective grew, opening the file that was laid out on the old beaten up table. His fingers skimmed through a few pieces and packets of paper before pulling out a few pictures, Dallas laced within each and every one of them. Andrew had snatched the file, looking over the woman and two kids pictured with Dallas, smiling and happy. Christen broke, officially sobbing into her hands. Andrew was yelling, while officers had made their way into the room to get Andrew off of the detective.

Christen was tapped, her head not registering anything she was hearing in reality. Her mind wasn't set on what was going on now.

"Ms. Collins, can you hear me?" A cop, dressed in blue and black.

She nodded slowly, her eyes resting on the blue ones that crouched in front of her.

She looked around, the room completely destroyed. The table had been flipped and papers were scattered. The small space was wrecked to the fullest. Andrew was being restrained in the corner, Christen finally coming into her senses and hearing his wails to defend her cheating husband. She stood, pushing past the cops holding Andrew gently aside. She stood and looked at her friend of years, her hands softly grasping his face into them.

"It's okay, Andrew. It's okay. You're okay." Christen consoled.

"It's not true Chris, he loved you. Everything in him screamed love for you." Andrew cried.

"I know." Christen lied.

He didn't love her, Christen knew this. If that was the case, he wouldn't have had a double life. He wouldn't have lied and cheated. Wouldn't have given another woman kids before her. Wouldn't have even had another woman. Did the woman know about her? Did she know about her and Angela or what Dallas had been doing for the past few years? Christen sank to the ground with Andrew as he held his head between his hands.

"I can't do this Chris. I didn't know he-"

"I believe you." Her voice broke, there was nothing she could do.

"I'm so sorry." Andrew stared blankly at the cold ground.

Christen shrugged, sitting beside him leaning on his shoulder. She didn't have any fight over her, but something was brewing beneath her skin. Rage, dangerous and threatening. She wanted to know so many unanswered questions. She didn't know if she was strong enough to have them answered or to meet the other woman.

"Ms. Collins, it would be best for you both to leave." Christen looked up, the detective a little disheveled as she saw the pity in his eyes.

She nodded, her hand closing around the width of Andrew's arm. Pulling him out of his small trance of disbelief, he realized he needed to be moving. He saw the detective, his pride coming into play before knocking some sense into his self.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get physical." Andrew hung his head in shame.

"Understandable, you guys led a life that was normal, stable and ordinary. It's a lot to take in in such a short period of time." The detective placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do me a favor," Andrew looked up, "This is the address to Caroline Davis' house in Manhattan. Give her a visit. Or talk to Christen about it and get her to visit. They're pretty broken as well."

"Did they know about her and Angela?" Andrew interrogated.

The detective's facial expression was all he needed to see to answer the simple question, that yes they did know about her. Andrew sighed and took the slip of paper before he walked over to Christen sitting in the waiting room of the police station. From what Andrew could see, Chris was broken in every sense of the word. Not only had she lost her husband and baby in an ugly fight that was only meant for Dallas. She just found out that her whole life was a lie, yet she was supporting him.

"You ready to go?" Andrew fingering the small piece of paper in his pocket.

She nodded, her throat constricting as she tried to hold herself in the station. She didn't want to be perceived as weak. Of course the situation at hand warranted emotions and breakdowns but that wasn't her, not in the slightest. Andrew escorted her out of the lobby, multiple cameramen and microphones thrust into their face, together and separately.

"Is it true that your husband was apart of a major drug ring?"

Apparently so.

"Are you going to testify against Monica Stratford and Grant Valente?"

With everything in me.

"Is it true your husband had an affair?"

Fuck him.

"Ms. Collins, are you pregnant with your husband's baby?"

No comment.

"Will Angela get justice?"

She hoped.

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

:01

Seven Months Ago...

April 14th, 2022

"Babe!" Dallas had called out to his wife, who was silently losing her mind at the stick that was in her hand.

She had heard multiple muffled footsteps approaching, yet she couldn't move. What she thought wasn't possible was.

"Babe, we gotta-" Dallas had swung the bathroom door open, his gray eyes immediately looking to the stick that was trapped in between her forefinger and thumb.

He breathed in silently, the rise and fall in his chest noticeable beyond belief.

"What's that Chris?" he whispered.

She looked up from the two pink lines, tears building up in her green eyes. She thrust the stick out to him, his eyes traveling down for a moment before he looked back at her.

"You're pregnant?" his voice, breaking into tiny sobs.

She nodded, a small cry breaking out of her chest before Dallas pulled her into his arms and squeezed her own oxygen out of her. He picked her up, his lips capturing hers, messy and excited.

"We're gonna have a baby!" He yelled into the bathroom, the soon to be father's voice echoed.

"We're gonna have a baby." She confirmed, nodding to him.

"We're gonna have a baby." Dallas smiled, the dazzling smile Christen had fell in love with at the age of nineteen.

She nodded again, smiling back before pressing her lips to his.

His hands slid down her waist, wrapping themselves around the back of her thighs before pulling her up to his height. Christen's hands had weaved themselves into his thick hair, curls coarse and tight. His lips trailed further down, the skin of her luscious neck being sucked into his mouth before he laid her down onto their bed. Old hickeys were renewed as Dallas licked and sucked, his hands wandering upon his wife of four years. The buttons on her shirt were ripped, the small clear buttons pinging against the hardwood of the floor. Her breasts protruded out of her black silk bralette, her nipples pebbled and tight.

"God, we're going to miss the gala tonight." Dallas groaned as Christen moved her hips against his thigh.

"Don't care." Christen breathed as her lips connected against the rough warmth of his skin.

Their lips collided over and over, clothes removed slowly but with anticipation, building to the moment they knew they'd be connected in their love. Christen's hands moved over his chest, covered in his coarse curls, just like the mess of curls that covered his head. She brought him down, his hips creating friction on the way down. 

"Dallas," Christen moaned.

"I got you baby." He spoke gravely.

His hands removed the silk bralette and immediately covered the hard points in the warmth of his tongue. Christen had risen, keeping his head intact with her skin as she almost lost control. Dallas couldn't help but play with the other, getting her ready, preparing her for what he was going to do. His hands trailed down her sides; his tongue traveling down the small dip of skin into her navel, his tongue dipping momentarily.

"Oh god," she cried out as his hands slipped into her shorts, "Stop teasing."

"That's the best part," Dallas crookedly smiled at her, placing a kiss at the ending of her stomach.

His thick fingers pulled the band of her silk pink shorts down, unraveling the wetness of his wife to his eyes. His dick throbbed to the sight of her glistening sex, pink and puffy, all for him. His tongue dipped into her opening, stroking the inner muscle of her. Her hands running through his black curls. His forefinger and thumb spread the top of her labia, uncovering the best part of his wife's pussy. Her clit. His mouth covered the small bud of nerves and sucked harshly, his teeth nipping and pulling as his wife lost control over her moans and movements of her body. His tongue continued to lash her clit, his fingers slipping into her wet sex, finding her g spot immediately. Her pussy came up abruptly as she came against his mouth, her pussy dripping liquid as she lost herself to her senses.

His brutal assault came to a soft licking as she came down from her small moment of euphoria. He lifted up, watching his beautiful wife lay in the middle of their bed, her curls splayed out around her and a small sheen of sweat gracing her lithe body. His belt buckle brought her back to life, her eyes trailing lower and lower until the sight she had been wanting had graced her presence. His pants and boxer-briefs had slid down his dark skin, the head of his erect penis harshly pink and protruding proudly from the middle of his thighs. He grabbed her waist and pushed her up the bed, her head laid gently down upon on the pillows up top.

"I'm about to wreck you, I hope you know that." Dallas smiled, as his hand caressed her face.

She whimpered at the contact of the tip of his dick sliding over her wetness, nudging her clit momentarily. She grasped the back of his neck, meshing their lips together as he pushed his thick length into her.

"Dallas," She breathed heavily.

"You feel that?" He pulled out, pushing back in after a second.

She nodded, no words formulated as he continued his rough pounding of her pussy. His hands encased hers, pulling them above her head as he bottomed out in her time and time again.

"You gonna come for me?" Dallas whispered, his eyes watching her facial expression of what they called "the little death". So much of her pleasure was his and he knew her pleasure looked like pain.

"Yes, oh my god, yes-" Her body becoming taut in an upward stroke he had supplied her with multiple thrusts in a matter of their small moment.

"Look at me," he demanded. "Look at me while you come on my dick."

Her eyes fluttered open, her body experiencing so many things at once. A few pleasure tears escaping her eyes when she blinked uncontrollably as Dallas kept pushing her to the brink of falling. His eyes searched hers as he brought her to the precipice of her climax.

"Dallas," Christen cried out, sucking in air like she wasn't going to get anymore.

He kept pushing her, bringing her to a plane of pleasure she hadn't been brought to before. His hands switched out, one clasping both of her wrists in one and the other sneaking down to pinch her erect clit in between his fingers.

"Don't stop." She cried, more tears escaping her lids as she lost herself in the waves he was creating for her.

He kept pushing and pulling, taking gratification in the fact that he was the only person that could make her feel like this. The only one in her life to give her these feelings.

Eventually Dallas indulged himself, finally filling her with his cum and collapsing on top of her chest. Her frantic heart filled his eardrums as they both slowly climbed back down from their orifice of pleasure.

"I love you," he whispered as his fingertips trailed over the length of her skin beneath him.

"I love you." A tone of finality in her voice as she wound her arms around his broad shoulders.

"You're giving me the best thing I could ever hope for Chris." He kissed her wrist.

"We've created life, it takes two my love." Christen smiled as Dallas lifted from her sticky skin.

"You'll be carrying our child for the next nine months, I am forever indebted to you." He kissed her, a soul wrenching kiss.

She pulled away breathless after a few moments, curling into his body as he laid beside her. His warmth encased her in a small cocoon as they rested back into the bed.

"Do you know how far along you are?" He asked softly.

"I'm not sure, but I'll make sure to make an appointment so that we can find out." She murmured.

His lips gently kissed her forehead, lulling her into a small slumber.

"I love you." He whispered as he felt the weight of her head increase in the crook of his shoulder.

Present Day...

January  14th, 2023

Christen stood in the hospital room, her ribs throbbed painfully in sync as she breathed in and out. The sheer hospital gown gave her no warmth which resulted in her shivering, creating more pain across the forefront of her body and mind.

Christen carried herself over slowly to the wide window of the room, her eyes tiredly covering the whole city before her. It had been snowing continuously, sleeting or raining, or just sprinkles of snow constantly going. It had been non stop and Christen, wanted it to go away. She hated snow, because all she saw with snow was blood, the rustic color. Bright red and then like iron, the kind you find on metal that's been sitting out too long with the weather. Christen would leave this place as soon as she could, with no one but herself. The memories too harsh for her to want to bring anyone else into the life that had transpired around her.

"I brought you lunch and good news." Andrew presented himself with a bag of Newk's, a better restaurant that had taken over Panera in the last few years.

"Good news?" Christen furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yeah, you'll be released today. Hospital says you're good to go. We just have to pick up your prescriptions and get you signed up for physical therapy." Andrew explained.

Christen sighed, nothing was good news. Nothing could ever be good news.

"Here, I got you the club with the broccoli cheese soup."

"Thank you."

"I also brought you some clothes," his head nodding over to the blue duffel bag that was lain down on the tile flooring.

His arm extended to the floor before handing over the bag to her, her eyes skeptical of what he could've brought from the collection of clothes that hadn't been stolen that fateful night.

Christen carefully unzipped the lightweight bag and sifted through the choice of clothing. Her large brown cashmere sweater and two pairs of leggings and her old beaten up black and white old skool Vans. Her fingers slowly dragged over the materials, a warmth filling her as she remembered the times of the sweater and her vans. The memories she had made over her time here in Raleigh.

Tears filled her eyes as the smell of Dallas' cologne filled her senses, in and around her. She couldn't believe after all this time it still smelled like him. She hadn't worn it in months, not since the small labor day weekend back in September.

"You okay?"

Christen nodded, not trusting her small voice. She picked up her clothes quickly and headed over to the small bathroom that was attached to the room. Christen quickly stripped out of the gown, the light material piling around her ankles before she slid on one pair of the black leggings. Fuzzy socks the color of cream, covered her feet as she pulled the makeshift pants on with slight difficulty. Christen hadn't taken the time to look in the mirror but when she did, she was horrified. Her cheek was still swollen and the knot on the left side of her brow was still there, not coming down no matter how much medicine or ice the nurse had given her. Her skin was a sickly pale yellow, her normal tan skin completely gone after that night and from lack of proper nourishment.

She looked away, carefully pulling the sweater over her head in an attempt to get used to stretching out the top half of her body. She cringed as her bones screamed for her to not make a further attempt but she persisted. She had to get through this.

Christen emerged a few moments later, Andrew on his phone before taking a look at her and pointing to the food he had bought her. Christen couldn't hear what was being said on the other line, but it couldn't have been good. Andrew was taut, in a protective stance in which always commenced when something bad was said to the lawyer, kind of like an instinct. She had noticed it after all the years of being around him.

Andrew clicked his phone off, his mood immediately soured after what he had heard.

"Everything okay?" Christen asked softly.

"Nothing you should be worried about, eat up." Andrew pointed.

She sighed, she knew she wouldn't get anything out of him.

Christen carefully ate, mindful not to put too much energy into scarfing it down. She couldn't keep anything down for the past few days; but she wasn't sure if it was because the food here was disgusting and somewhat questionable or if it had been the events that somehow kept replaying in her mind.

"Hello, Ms. Collins! How are you doing today?" Dr. Stephen, a woman in her late forties, asked.

Christen absentmindedly ate another bite of her sandwich. Not really up for answering the question that had been bombarded on her the second day of her stay here. She wasn't okay, or fine, or whatever you wanted to call it; but she'd be damned if she was put into a mental institution if she answered any of those "How are you feeling" questions.

"Alright, no answer, perfectly fine. You're being released today, so I will give you a prescription for your pain and you can find someone from your insurance to do your physical therapy, alright?"

Christen nodded, her simple response to everything now a days.

"You ready?" Andrew sat next to her, holding her prescription paper in his left hand.

"As I'll ever be." She shrugged, crumpling up her sandwich paper and tossing it into the brown paper bag.

Andrew grabbed her hand, caressing the back of her hand as she threw the duffel bag over her shoulder and walked down the dimly lit walkway of the hospital.

"Now you stay behind me and make sure to keep hold of my hand alright?" Andrew stole her attention away from the reflection of the elevator doors.

"Yeah got it."

How did she end up here? How was it that five days ago, she had been out with her husband and girlfriends, while enjoying beers and fries, was now her facing a murder trial of her own husband and her newborn daughter? Tears brimmed her eyes and she looked down, scared for her life. This was publicized, especially in the town of Raleigh. She was known here. She had grown up here in this town, building her art studio from scratch and transforming it into a global franchise.

So...how did she end up here?

[ayanacam]

Stand Still

Prologue

The hospital room was cold. The lights were bright, glaring against her already unclear vision. The monitor next to her beeped softly, and from what she could see outside, there were tons of vans and people waiting for her to depart this hell hole.

"Alright Ms. Collins. Can you state what happened the night of January 11th, 2023?"

Her head slightly lifted, meeting the detective's dull gray eyes. They held a lack of protectiveness and tenderness in which always filled Dallas' eyes; but he was no longer here. That's why she was here.

Her chest lifted wholly as she breathed in, letting go softly before opening her mouth.

"My husband and I had gone to dinner the night of January 11th, 2023. We went to this place called Leo's Bar and Grille. Newly opened and he was a friend of Dallas'. I hadn't wanted to go out, with Angela being a newborn and all, but Dallas had insisted. I called one of my friends asked for a reference and they said Monica,-"

"Monica who Ms. Collins?"

"Monica Stratford."

"Please continue."

"Monica said she'd love to babysit for the night, she wanted to get out of the house. I told her to be at our house by six, no later than six thirty. She arrived in between that time."

"Can you remember the time Ms. Collins?"

"I saw the clock at 6:18."

"Is that when she arrived?" the detective asked.

Christen nodded softly, still unsure, give and take a few minutes of those blaring white numbers that covered themselves on the TV receptor.

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"That was the last time I saw the clock before I heard the doorbell ring."

He nodded, making more notes on his yellow papered pad.

"What happened when you met Monica?"

"I had been a little queasy, but I attributed to the fact that I had new parents' complex, I didn't want to leave my baby."

"Anything else about her throw you off?"

"She kept looking around, as if she was familiarizing her self, like where to go and all the exits. As if someone bad were going to be around."

"Did you address her on it?"

She shook her head, "My husband kept saying I was paranoid."

Hmph..

"When did you guys leave?"

"Maybe a few minutes after we showed her where to find everything, the milk and the numbers on the fridge and how to work the TV."

"How long were you guys out?"

"Three, four hours. We arrived home late I know that."

"Why?"

"Dallas hadn't seen his friends in awhile and some of my girls were there. We were socializing and drinking. This was really the first night out away from Angela."

"Did anything happen, a phone call or a tip?"

"No sir." She responded, her brow furrowing.

"When you arrived home, what happened?"

"We took an Uber, since we had been drinking. We got out and Dallas tipped the man in cash. I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. Monica was asleep on the couch and the TV was on. Dallas came from behind and told me he was going to wake her up but it was late and I didn't want to disturb her. There was ice on the roads as well. So I went and checked on Angela and she was sound asleep in her crib. Dallas was in our room, getting ready for bed."

"Anything else happen that night?"

Besides us making love? No.

"No, sir."

"Recount the next day for me."

Christen swallowed, her life flashed.

White..

All white..

Then red..

Cold and wet, blurred vision and pain..

Struggling.

"That's enough. My client can't take anymore. We'll have to recount another day." Andrew finally spoke. He had been watching her, carefully, slowly, as if to watch when she would break.

"Sir, she needs-"

"Leave the room, we will recount another day." Andrew gritted out.

Christen covered her face, surprised to find tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. She hadn't even realized she had begun crying.

"You're okay, you're okay." Andrew reached for her.

Christen began to sob, violently.

"Shhhhh, you're okay." Andrew cuddled her into him.

The hospital bed was small, barely fitting his large frame on the side of the bed. Andrew was a close friend of Dallas', working with him on small business cases over the years for Dallas' companies. He was a lawyer, cold as hell when in question but soft as a teddy bear in private and surrounded by people he loved.

"Who would do such a thing Drew?" She sobbed into his chest.

Andrew had no answer, his mind was still reeling.

I am calling on behalf of Ms. Christen Collins, she needs an attorney.

For what I may ask?

The death of Dallas and Angela Collins, sir.

His whole world had fallen, his own best friend and god daughter taken away from him.

Christen's sobs had quieted, slowly becoming small hiccups and sniffles. Eventually they had all faded and she had fallen asleep. He laid her back into the hospital bed and pulled the thin blanket over her dwindling frame. It had only been two days. Only two. Andrew had to figure this out, for the sake of Dallas and Angela, for the sake of Christen.

[ayanacam]

Eventually we all find peace in the most simplest things and the quietness never felt better

[ayanacam]

He whispered to me promises that I knew would never be fulfilled yet I still fell for the emptiness that was yet to come.

[ayanacam]

Even in my dreams he met me there. Only to let me down just like he does in reality

[ayanacam]

Yasssssss 😍👏👌