Self worth is never easy to grapple with, and Yura is no stranger to fighting with it
Cool air hit Yura’s face like an avalanche as she pulled her face from the basin before her. So many times had she tried to wash away these feelings of anger and regret. Of discontent and confusion, yet every time she pulled her head from the water, she could only look down at the reflection that was left, the sorry reminder of who she was, what she was. It stared back at her, the dirt, the dust, the negativity. It was all there, mocking her. She prayed it be only the dirt of the water, but somewhere, she still knew better. She hated it to her very core.
Shaking her head, she tried to put it all from her mind, drying her face with a towel, small soaked bits of hair falling hard back onto her face and into her eyes. She didn’t want the reminder. She didn’t need it. But it wouldn’t stop her from getting it. That thing that took the place of her reflection? It seemed to follow. Yura glanced into the mirror before her, tired eyes barely able to make out that which stared back at her. It was exhausted, pale skin marked by healing bruises and dark bags beneath its eyes. Its scales seemed weak, its horns covered in nicks and dirt. Its expression was cold and broken, its face aged by time and war, despite how young it should have been.
In every way, it looked like Yura, it moved like Yura. But that wasn’t her. She was disgusted, appalled. The reflection looking back towards her? It couldn’t have been her. Because that thing was a killer. It was a monster, and she knew that. It was responsible for so much damage, for so much agony, despite its desires to act in the name of Good, or what it thought to be good. But Yura, she only did Good. She only ever protected people. It’s all she’d ever wanted. So that couldn’t have been her. That thing wasn’t her. Right?
Yura’s breathing quickened, shallow breaths coming in and out of her mouth as she began questioning herself. How could she? Why would she do this to herself? Her hand tensed at her realization. The doubt that began to cloud her mind was too much, the pain of thought manifesting into a physical burden on her chest as she huffed out a cry, slouching down as her hands traveled to her knees for support. She was terrified to look up. To look at that thing once more. In only a few moments it had sapped her of all her worth, her assurance. What more could it take from her? She was terrified to find out. But she knew she wouldn’t have a choice. She would have to face it once more, as it would always be there.