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fallback - chapter ten

series masterlist

chapter ten: his young heart

Insanity, as defined by the dictionary, is the state of being seriously mentally ill – but insanity, as defined by the media, is doing the exact same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

Am I insane? Bea thought as Tom walked in front of her, constantly looking back to check that she’s still following. Am I expecting anything else but a break up? There is no way that their relationship would be significantly different than last time; after all - long distance, media, rumors, paparazzi – they don’t change nor do they stop.

“Do you want to go to The Empire State Building?” Tom asked, his hand went over to cover his squinting eyes as the sun shone directly into his eyes. The two of them rested on one of Bea’s old picnic blankets in a more secluded area of Central Park. “Or do you want to stay in murder town central?” Ever since they got here, Tom has been implying that Bea will murder him due to the seclusion.

Bea rolled her eyes. “I’d love to go to The Empire State Building.” She sat up, leaning her elbows on her knees, and Tom quickly mimicked her position. “Ooh, do you want to go to the cafes that inspired Central Perk or MacLarens for dinner?”

“I’d love that.” Tom moved his elbows from off of his knees in order to lean in and press his lips against hers. Bea, although uncomfortable with the publicity of their affection, reciprocated it – loving the feeling of his soft lips on his. “I’d also love not getting murdered here so when do you want to leave?”

Bea flicked his shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go.” She chuckled, pushing herself off the ground and getting onto her feet. She dusted her pants off, getting all the dirt and grass off her jeans, and put her hand down to help Tom up.

He smirked, chuckling and looked up at the girl in front of him. He saw the playful smile, the lazy grin, her hair which is slightly messy due to lying down, I want to marry this girl someday. He thought to himself. He lifted his arm up, taking her hand to mock getting up, before pulling her on top of him.

She burst out laughing, her head hitting his chest hard. “Get off!”

“I don’t think I want to go anymore.” Tom grinned, looking down at the girl on his chest. Bea rolled her eyes, before realizing how comprising the position they were in was. She was straddling him, but her body was against his and their lips were centimeters apart.

“One thing I want to talk about,” Bea sighed, rolling off his chest and sitting next to him – close enough for Tom to reach out and hold her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “Paparazzi. We should try and avoid it. Like, we experienced the publicity and media attention when we were in this stage before and I think, it wasn’t healthy – it created some expectations.” She started talking. As soon as the topic of paparazzi came out, Tom knew this would be a serious talk. Part of it gave him hope for the relationship; they never spoke about it before and it confirms some hope of the future with her. “If something bad happened like last time, I don’t want to be answering thousands of questions about you and I want us to grow under our own terms.”

Tom smiled at the last comment, leaning in and pressing his lips against hers for a chaste kiss. “You got it.” He mumbled, “Anything for you.”

“So, Stewart?”

“Stewart?” Tom asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Stewart is our code word for paps.” Bea chuckled. “Because Jake Ryan went under disguise to prevent paparazzi for Miley, and Miley Stewart was Hannah Montanna’s real identity to prevent paparazzi in her real life.” Bea rambled almost way too quickly, making Tom chuckle at her love for old Disney shows.

“Stewart, it is!” He exclaimed, pressing his lips against her nose. “I love how obsessed you are with Hannah Montanna.” He laughed, now standing up himself and lending her his hand.

Bea gladly took it; the warm feeling warming her body, making her feel comfortable in the situation. She’s happy she’s with him. She’s the happiest she’s ever been. “What!?” She defensively exclaimed, “I wanted to have that double life when I was younger. She was my idol.” Tom rolled his eyes, picking up both their ‘disguises’ of scarves and hats and glasses that were lazily tossed around the blanket. As soon as the scarf was wrapped around her neck, the hat hid her. hair, and the sunglasses covered her eyes – Bea wrapped her arms around his own, hugging it closely to her body like it was a teddy bear.

Once the two of them are on the top of the empire state, looking out the window, Bea noted the other people would either acknowledge their presence, ignore it, or approach them. The few that approached them just asked for a quick autograph and photo. Bea and Tom decided against holding a conversation for today and today only; especially as it’s their first official date in this second try.

“Oh, we haven’t seen each other in ages!” Tom had laughed when one asked if they’re dating, “We’re just two friends seeing each other again.” Eventually Tom had enough and just wanted time with Bea; he wanted her to himself, he hasn’t had that for a year. “Hey guys! I’m so so sorry but do you think we could be alone? We haven’t hung out in ages.”

“Oh my, look at the sunset!” Bea exclaimed as the crowd around them started dying out at Tom’s request for privacy. Tom wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. This made her feel paranoid. Someone could be watching. But she didn’t want to push him away. She heard a few clicks and celebrations, but she couldn’t tell if it was because of the tourist attraction or them.

Little did she know, the same clicks and noises from cameras and phones would later reveal everything.

Tom smiled softly, before turning to look at Bea. Bea chuckled, sensing his eyes stare her down from beside her. She turned around to face him.

Tom was leaning in, his eyes dreamily gazing into her own, before Bea bit her lip and pulled her head back. “Not now, Tommy.”

---

Bea continued to question her insanity, even as she sat beside Tom who’s thumb was soothing the back of Bea’s hand. Bea stared at Tom, who kept his eyes staring out the window. Bea’s preoccupations weren’t even resolved by her other hand patting Winnie, who slept in her lap after her three hour run today (in order for Winnie to be peaceful during flights, Bea has to take her on a long walk or run to decrease her excitability).

She observed how Tom rested his other hand below his chin, watching the street lights and cars pass by. His tousled brown hair was in slight curls; the way that Bea loved it. It’s when he looks the most comfortable. His jaw line was prominent – causing Bea to chuckle. Tom always tries his hardest on red carpets to make his jawline pop out, but really, he doesn’t have to do anything in particular to get that effect. She caught the small smile on his lips as the places they went to yesterday seemed to speed past his window.

They spent the whole day before around NYC; acting like first time New York visitors with no particular time limit; from staying in Central Park, eating at MacLarens, going to the top of the Empire State and boating by the Statue of Liberty. However, they both wore heavy disguises; baseball caps, sunglasses, and scarves. They didn’t want to spark any rumors or media attention until it’s official, so, they looked like the most weather confused people out there. But they were together, so all the confused stares meant nothing.

Bea beamed, letting go of his hand and instead letting her body feel heavy and resting her head on his shoulder. However, she made sure to keep her head up to continue staring at him – it’s worth all the neck strain. Winnie had to move accordingly, and to Bea surprise – moved to lie down on Tom’s lap. It took Winnie two months to even do something similar with Noah.

He, in response, turned around and looked at the girl with a soft grin playing at her lips. He lifted his arm and hugged her towards him, whilst his other hand went from his chin to the puppy in his lap.

Bea couldn’t help but observe all the differences in the relationship between Tom and herself compared to Noah and herself. They’re both so lovely – but Tom just adds onto her life while Noah was inconvient. Tom never asked for her to change while Noah did. Bea could get lost staring into Tom’s eyes, whilst Bea couldn’t look at Noah without feeling guilty. To her, Tom was her forever home. Noah was just a home she had to stay in before finalizing her home. I love him, she thought – feeling good that the love hasn’t disappeared, just hidden behind her fear. I love him so much.

The music filled the silence; the pair not wanting to talk about the inevitable and that may be the only thing they bring up. What are we? Is it worth the long distance? Only some of the questions that hung heavy in the air – but they didn’t want to ruin the serenity with the sharp edge of their inevitable distance.

So, once the car started slowing down, Tom let out a remorseful sigh and tried to memorize all the small details about the girl beside him, also known as the love of his life. Time seemed to slow down; the way Bea perked her head up to look through the front window, the way she had her brown hair up into a messy bun, how she anxiously bit at her bottom lip.

Bea noted how Tom’s eyes were close to tears; watering as his body slumped forward, something that usually happened when he’s not wanting something to happen. He was pursing out his lips in different directions, something he did when he’s overthinking. His foot was tapping at the floor rapidly, as if he was competing Usain Bolt for first place in a race.

“C’mon Winnie.” Tom muttered, slightly nudging the Havanese pup on his lap. “It’s time to go.” He slipped on his baseball cap and kept his head down low, exiting the car and placing Winnie on the ground. She sleepily dragged her feet, just like how Bea was dragging her’s.

As soon as Bea stepped out the car with her duffle bag in tow, Tom’s hand magnetized to her’s. The slight touch, as cliché as it sounds, brought electricity. But Bea had to let go

“Stewart.” She whispered into his ear, making him let go – sadly. If he could, he’d tell everyone in the world who he was with. But again, he understands.

“BEA! BEA!” Some of them called from behind the fans who built up around the barricade. “WHO ARE YOU WITH?” Bea ignored the hollers from the paparazzi and instead signed some autographs, whilst Tom carried Winnie, his real identity undetected, into the airport. “BEA! HOW WAS YOUR UNCLE’S BIRTHDAY? WHY DID YOU AND NOAH BREAK UP?” The questions kept pounding and pounding at her. “WHO ARE YOU WITH? THAT’S NOT RAY.”

There were some respectful paparazzi and some rude ones. Unfortunately, the ones at the airport tend to be more disrespectful than anything. So, Bea apologized to the fans she was unable to greet, gave a big air kiss, and disappeared into the airport.

Once Bea was minutes away from having to go through security, Bea pulled Tom to a more section section of the large airport, however still a short way from the security, and planted a kiss on him. Luckily for Tom, Winnie was now on the ground and relaxing on the floor – so his arms were able to wrap around her waist, bringing her closer.

The kiss was the typical and cliché goodbye at the airport; full of love and longing. The kiss was full of promises that sadly had to be delayed; their dates, the hugs, the time together – they’ll have to wait. But the kiss reminded them that it was worth it, that once they see other again – the wait would’ve meant nothing.

Neither of them couldn’t do the cliché stopping them from leaving on the plane ort because he understands; she has a life that is based Los Angeles while his was in London. “I’ll see you soon, sailor.” She teased, mumbling against his lips, before leaning in to give him another quick peck.

“I love you.” Tom muttered, his hands still resting on her hips as their two bodies were pressed against each other.

Bea smiled defeatedly. Although she’s confident she feels that way, she’s not yet comfortable in saying it back. Once you say something, you can’t get it back. Bea said something two years ago and she was unable to take it back, even when Tom walked through the door.

“You too.” She spoke, “Have a safe flight, message me when you land.”

They non-verbally decided on experimenting with their relationship; they’ll try long distance and see how it goes. Yes, it’s difficult – especially since they were in that strange hesitant period before a relationship, but they had done it before. “I’ll miss you.” It was the last words Bea said to him before her three-hour flight and the last words he’ll hear from her before his twelve-hour flight. The last image Tom has of her was her blowing a kiss as the two walked in opposite directions to their opposing gates. Bea’s flight was the hour before midnight, but his was an hour after.

“Always difficult huh?” An old woman noted to Tom, who was now staring mindlessly past the gate numbers with his hands stuffed in his pocket. His backpack felt like nothing compared to the weight of seeing Bea go on the flight before him. He had just sat down at his gate, waiting for his flight number to be called.

“Pardon?” Tom said, caught by surprise.

“I’m just guessing you left someone.” She noted, “You have that lost look.”

Tom looked at his hands and let out a wry chuckle, “Uh, yeah.” Something about this woman felt so comforting. Maybe it’s the fact he hasn’t spoken about his relationship status change with anyone else or with anyone he trusts, and thus can’t talk about his anxieties, but he just wanted to spill everything. “Yeah, uh, we just got back kind of back together after like a year of us being away from each other.”

Something about the comforting and understanding look in the woman’s eyes made him ramble.

“I walked out on her last time because she said I love you and I was scared and I don’t have any other excuse for that.” He started, “I guess relationships don’t normally come easy for me; it’s something that scares me. But like I can’t stop thinking about her no matter what and it sucks. Because I think I really love her and she has yet to say I love you back, but it’s understandable because I walked away when she said it last time. So like I understand her fear. But like what if we fuck it up again and we just end up heartbroken or longing for each other again? What if I fuck it up and there’s no one else for me?”

He sighed, “But I’m in London and she’s in LA. We’re going to be miles away and it sucks because I just want to be with her. Every small thing reminds me of her and what if she still doesn’t trust me? Or she finds someone better? What if I’m not worth it for her?”

Tom started tearing up and couldn’t think anymore. His heart broke as he recalled all the small details about her; when he recalls how many times her face is on ads around London. Will he be able to walk around London without thinking of her? Especially as not only are there ads of her face, but the smallest things remind him of her – from the smell of rained on grass to the Big Ben, which she had so many fun stories about visiting. Should Tom lose her again just so he won’t hurt her? Or vice versa! God knows if Tom hurts his second chance, he’ll never forgive himself. This is the girl he wanted to marry.

The old woman smiled softly, “I don’t know either of you well enough to say anything.” She sadly mentioned, “I only know you and I don’t even know her name. With that that in mind, the best thing ic could tell you is that my husband and I – we’ve been married for 48 years and there were a lot of fears, we were on and off again for god knows how long. But we’re together and we’re happy. All that on and off again only helped us be better and be more ready for each other. The trick is to live in the moment and take things as they come. Tackle them as they come. Don’t worry about the future quite yet. Worry about it when you’re engaged. If you are happy in the present, focus on that. A girl you truly love doesn’t come by all the time. If you truly love her, focus on her now. In particular, I learnt that if you fall away from each other – if it was meant to be, you’d fall back. But you always have to put in the effort.” She let out a wry chuckle. “But always remember, she’ll always be right.”

Later on that 12 hour flight, Tom spent the whole time watching the many movies and television episodes which Bea appears on. His doubts, although still present, seemed to wash away. Focus on her now.

Instead of focusing on the doubts as he watched her deliver lines so effortlessly and so in character. She was one of his biggest inspirations to get into acting. She was so talented, and that’s how he first had a crush in her as a kid. That, on top of how drop dead gorgeous she was. Tom remembers when she won the most beautiful woman of 2016... he remembers how lucky he felt. He watched the Bea in his mind becomes non-existent characters as she brings them to life with such realism he wishes he could even come close to. As he stared into her character’s eyes; see her characters fall in love or grieve or fear, he pushed away all the doubts of there being someone better and focused on one thought; she’s mine. Well, somewhat. I just have to focus on her now.

taglist:

@charismas-world @athermosofsad

#tom holland imagines #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland series #fanfic series #fanfic #fan fic #fan fiction #fanfiction #tom holland #im #imagine #imagines #th #tom holland x oc #oc #romance #romantic

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - extra #3

the spider-man movies

series masterlist

warning: contains spoilers if you haven’t watched FFH

summary: the basic premises behind the future marvel spiderman movies

spiderman 3: under the radar

After Mysterio and JJ Jameson revealed to the world his true identity and released manipulated evidence that Spiderman is at fault for the terrors that shocked the world, the world has Peter Parker under a magnifying glass. On top of that, Peter has to deal with college applications.

When a supervillain comes out of the way to attack New York City, how can Spiderman manage his way through not being attack by both onlookers and the villain, hated on, or at risk of his identity being seen whilst saving New York?

In the process, Peter Parker and MJ’s relationship grows – however the two have been applying to completely different locations. MJ wants to leave New York and go to the West Coast while Peter and Ned want to stay in New York.

At the end of the movie, Peter manages to convince the world that is JJJ as someone who jumps the bullet, that he was acting as part of a student film, and that Quentin Beck was only putting the blame on someone else. He also managed to show that Spiderman is a saviour not a villain - but JJJ doesn’t give up. The very end of the film shows Peter and Ned getting his ESU acceptance and MJ getting into school in LA. The two share a goodbye kiss before promising to try long distance.

The end credits is a panning shot of Otto Octavius’s office.

spiderman 4: welcome week

After managing to convince the world that he is not Spiderman, Peter Parker is free to attend college without worries of being found out– however he has decided to stay away from too much heroics in the attempt to avoid more suspicion.

It’s their first year of Empire State University, Peter Parker and Ned Leeds are extremely excited. Especially Peter, who managed to score an internship with leading scientist Dr Otto Octavius. At ESU, Peter and Ned meet Harry Osborn – son of multimillionaire Norman Osborn, who happens to be running for mayor and attempting to turn the former Avenger’s tower with his own. One can say he’s fancy himself as the next Tony Stark.

Peter Parker, majoring in all sorts of sciences, eventually meets Gwen Stacy in one of his classes after being partnered for the first chemistry assignment. He saw her first day of school – rushing through the courtyard with the more popular kids. Gwen Stacy is this perky and straight-to-business student, the daughter of a head of the NY police, and a political science major who has a knack for chemistry. She currently is an intern at the school’s new letter and throughout the film is seen interviewing Peter Parker or asking his help on their chemistry project.

Peter Parker has to deal with college life, going over an attempt at long distance with MJ who is attending college in California, all whilst finding out his mentor has negative intentions for the rest of New York.

Throughout the movie, the Gwen Stacy vs MJ feud will be built – people not knowing who to root for in their romances with Spiderman. The development of Peter’s friendship with Ned and Harry will grow – Ned becoming slightly jealous of Harry. The group experiences fun bonding moments, such as freshers week and visiting Coney island after Peter and MJ broke up in an attempt to brighten his spirits. In this mix of action and coming of age, Jon Watts explores Spiderman as not just Spiderman – but as Peter Parker as a living, breathing teen who has a load of expectations on his shoulders.

Additionally, Happy Hogan and Aunt May continue their appearances at homeless charity causes (which Gwen Stacy happens to report on and bond with Peter with) and EDITH continues to aid Peter with his superhero abilities.

The film ends on a monologue about identity and college by Peter as he swings through New York, eventually landing at his fire escape; only to see Gwen Stacy sitting in his living room, waiting to work on their group project. Peter Parker, who then freaks out and expects Gwen to freak out, is surprised to see Gwen calmly aid him and his injuries and immediately promises to keep her mouth shut.

The final shot is a panning out shot of Gwen patching Peter up in his fire escape.

spiderman 5: hell week

In the fifth installation of the “Spiderman” series, the classic story of how Peter Parker has been poisoned and turned into a darker version of himself takes a turn of events. Peter Parker, after finding hints about Norman Osborn’s bad intentions towards New York, starts to investigate Norman Osborn and his labs. Of course, Gwen Stacy finds out and aids the search – causing the police (through her father’s worries) to be more meddlesome in Peter Parker’s plight. Peter Parker, in the late exposition of the movie, finds himself poisoned and eventually becomes a much darker version of Spiderman. This enables Norman to continue his role as trying to round up the Sinister Six as Spiderman is now off his back.

In the beginning of the movie, Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker start to date but their relationship goes downhill with Spiderman becoming dark. Through the film, Ned Leeds, Happy Hogan, and Gwen Stacy attempt to deal with Peter Parker’s darker and contrasting identity. Happy Hogan had found out by Peter returning E.D.I.T.H.

The climax looks at Peter Parker returning to his normal self and shutting down Norman Osborn’s labs with Gwen Stacy reporting it on the school news letter and the later the Daily Bugle, where she is then granted an internship for over the summer.

At the end of the film, Gwen and Peter officially are dating. Gwen father has found out that Peter is Spiderman and threatens if anything happens to Gwen, it’s his fault.

The end credits scene is Norman Osborn reaching out to the famous members of the sinister six, even including Martin Li - the co-worker of Aunt May, who he had experimented on as a child.

spiderman 6: sinister summer

The Sinister Six conflict is finally at full effect – unfortunately for Peter, during his summer vacation. What was planned to be a series of dates and fun hangouts with his friends across New York becomes a summer full of six villains, trying to wreck havoc across the city.

The ending shows half of the group defeated whilst Mr Negative, Chameleon, and Norman Osborn were still alive. Yet, they were ignorant that the Chameleon had found out the identity of Spiderman.

When Peter finds out the remaining and escaped villain aware of his real life persona, he rushes to check on Gwen. Unfortunately, he is too late. Chameleon had learnt of their planned date and runs into Gwen on her way to the date after a long day at the Daily Bugle internship. After fooling her into believing he’s Peter, he pushes Gwen Stacy off the Brooklyn bridge. Peter, who had just gotten to the scene to see Gwen Stacy almost kiss the Chameleon (still disguised as the vigilante) who pushes her off the bridge once Spiderman called out for the love of his life. The iconic Gwen Stacy death scene takes place.

Peter Parker officially takes his first purposeful life by killing the Chameleon.

The first after credits scene shows Peter Parker placing an engagement ring on Gwen Stacy’s casket. Aunt May appears and gives Gwen Stacy’s father a hug. Her father, however, has been giving Peter death glares throughout the funeral – approaching him at the end and saying if he ever sees Spiderman on the street, he won’t hesitate to shoot. Aunt May returns to Peter Parker and Peter Parker goes back and stays with Aunt May with a dark gleam in his eyes. He blames himself and the Green Goblin/Norman Osborn for the death of his lover and is now planning revenge.

spiderman 7: graduation

Peter Parker is still coming to terms with the death of Gwen Stacy. He’s been haunted by her. He has a new resolve; to avenge Gwen Stacy. Throughout the movie, friends like Harry and Ned constantly check on Peter who still stays with Aunt May, especially as his apartment reminds him of Gwen. Peter, in the film, is in an internal conflict of killing Norman or letting him receive justice. New conflicts arise as he attempts to regain justice; particularly from Gwen Stacy’s father.

It is worthy to note Gwen Stacy will appear in this film as haunting him, similar to Tony Stark in FFH - she’ll be seen in flashbacks and in nightmares and like a ghost following him around.

At the end of the film, Peter reunites with Michelle and finally moves back to his old apartment. He keeps a box of Gwen’s things in a drawer, keeps photos up, and sends another box to her father; thanking him for bringing a light to this world.

The final sequence happens at Gwen Stacy’s gravestone. Peter Parker sits by the stone and talks to the grave before MJ picks him up to go to his college graduation.

taglist:

@athermosofsad @charismas-world

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - chapter nine

series masterlist

thank you so so so much to @studying-spencer for editing this piece <3

So this was happy; she thought as his strong arms wrapped around her, the two of them mindlessly swinging on the tire swing in the park after they have exhausted themselves from socializing with the rest of the party. Luckily, the party is clearing out.

Bea felt like all the weight from her shoulders was lifted while Tom felt like his life was back at equilibrium. This should be my life, Tom thought as he grinned at the girl in his arms – his eyes shining, full of love.

Tom pressed his lips against her forehead for what felt like the thousandth time today – but it still wasn’t enough. He’d do it a million times – because it’s for her. It’s Bea. It’s the love of his life.

He always referred to Bea as ‘the one’ whenever anyone asked about her. He was just lucky that the person he had always dreamed about being ‘the one’ was actually the one. Tom felt like he had the honor of living in a seventh wonder. In his eyes, she was even more beautiful than the seven wonders, more beautiful than the pyramids or the hanging gardens of Babylon.

But Tom had one question left hanging on his tongue. “So, what are we?” Bea has yet to say I love you and Tom knows he can’t just assume they’re dating right off the bat. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not the best question, but I do want to know.” He defended.

The actress chuckled, letting out a sigh. “It’s a perfectly reasonable question.” No sweetie, no love, no pet name, Tom noted. “I’m not quite sure to be perfectly honest.” She didn’t want to lead him on, but she does worry this relationship may fall out again. After all, she spent the last month convincing herself that she’s better on her own. “I’m not sure if I want to label us dating yet, but maybe that weird, hesitant stage before if that’s alright with you?”

Tom is a relationship person. And he’s willing to wait for her; through time and space, through press events, through publicity arrangements – through anything. The wait may be extensive and torturous, but it would be for her – and the reward is worth all the work. But yes, he was disappointed by her answer, yet not surprised; after all, a year apart doesn’t necessarily warrant immediately getting back together. Bea noticed the upset and disappointment in his eyes. His lips were in a tight-lipped smile, something he did when he felt self-conscious; that’s why it’s his facial expression on red carpets when he wasn’t full of glee. So, Bea pecked his lips, and Tom swore he could taste the guilt and apologies on her lips. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you want, but I said those three words last year, and I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up, only for one of us to run away.”

He nodded, disheartened yet but understanding. “No worries. It sounds like what it is. And, I’m willing to wait for you. Forever, if I have to.” Bea felt both ashamed and elated. This has been everything she wanted for the last five months, but now she’s not sure if Tom’s happy. Tom could read Bea like the back of his hand and embraced her tighter. “My love, don’t feel guilty. I walked out. I made the mistake. I don’t want to push you in any way to make you uncomfortable.”

Although the shame remained, Bea felt like the luckiest girl alive. He’s literally the best person, she thought as she looked up and seeing the light cascade around him like he’s an angel.

The silence filled the space between them. For once, the stillness felt comforting. Bea focused on the sounds of Tom breathing, and his beating heart, the ups and downs of his stomach cradling her. Tom fixated on the reverberations of her soft little exhales as her thumb started soothingly rubbing at his arm.

She wanted to pinch herself. It all felt like a dream, and she didn’t want to get her hopes up, but she didn’t want to wake up quite yet. Is this what heaven would feel like?

“Oh, by the way,” Bea shifted so she could actually see his face. She forgot to mention some fun news. “I confirmed for Gwen Stacy.”

I finally get to work with her, Tom celebrated in his mind, I can’t wait to spend more time with her.

“Wait though, I just got a redacted script for Far From Home and Endgame.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re in neither. When is Gwen Stacy coming in?”

The actress, who has yet to spoil a movie started racking her brain, trying to remember the details of the films that Kevin mentioned she can or cannot tell him. “I think either fourth or fifth.” She recalled, but the look on his face made her laugh. “Wait, so are you saying I know more about your own franchise than you?” Tom, still gobsmacked, nodded – not sure to laugh, be angry, or try to persuade Bea to tell him everything. “This is why you don’t spoil movies!” Bea playfully smacked him, making him fake rub the spot in pain. “You’ll actually get information.”

“I don’t spoil movies!” He defended. Bea gave him an incredulous look.

“Mhm, take a look at all your interviews, sweetie.” Tom dropped his jaw in the mock offense hiding the fact that his heart fluttered at the nickname. Is this what happiness feels like? Tom wondered.

Tom continued badgering her for the details: how do Gwen Stacy and Peter meet? Who’s the next villain? What does she know about the possibility of the sinister six? Now that only a few of the caterers, Rob, and Susan are what remains of the party, Bea didn’t feel compelled to hold back by pressing her lips to his as an attempt to shut him up.

And it worked.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Rob hollered from the other side of the empty park, “Time to go!”

Bea rolled her eyes, hiding her blushing face in Tom’s shoulder as Tom gave his idol a thumbs up in response, hiding his embarrassment with awkward chuckles. On the other side of the tire swing, Bea gave the middle finger – annoyed at her uncle, but of course, it’s his birthday. She can’t hate on him too much.

When Tom planted his feet on the ground, he lifted Bea off the tire swing in his arms and swung her to the ground – making her squeal. “Where are you staying?” Bea asked; the two of them headed for Rob and Susan’s car.

“A hotel nearby.” He shrugged as the two of them walked, hand in hand, to the other end of the park. “Where are you staying?” Tom knew Bea had a studio apartment two hours away in Midtown; they stayed there together when Bea insisted, they visit New York. She bought it as her uncle lived two hours away and it may be a excellent place to stay rather than stay at her uncle’s windmill Hampton’s home.

She wished the Hamptons were closer to the city; she wanted to spend some time alone with Tom, without her uncle’s and her aunt’s protective and prying eyes. “Oh, I’m staying with my uncle and auntie. I’d offer you to stay with us but I’m kind of in my childhood, single bed…surrounded by posters of weird old movies…” She’s covering up the fact that she had any old movie poster that featured Tom Welling, Ashton Kutcher, and Chad Michael Murray – aka her old celebrity crushes. Guess Tom could be my new celebrity crush, Bea joked in her head, wouldn’t want him to be jealous.

Tom caught his bottom lip in his own, before smirking. “Stay with me. I don’t know if your dog will be allowed to stay there but just stay with me. Sleep with me tonight.” His eyes widened as Bea literally fell to a squat in laughter, “I mean, not like that if you don’t want to but like, I mean, I’d love to if you want to, but like no I mean…” Tom was burying himself in a hole. He was known to never get too flustered that words fly out of his mouth, attempting to dig himself out but only failing. In fact, he was known to be so charismatic that when he is flustered in an interview by an embarrassing story, he only comes back on top.

Unfortunately, Bea has an effect on him. Bea is his weakness, his kryptonite – or, shall he say, his Gwen Stacy.

“Tom,” She finally stood up and interrupted him, not wanting him to bury himself further. “I’ll ask the dog-sitter to watch Winnie for the rest of the day and the night.” She smiled at him. “But I do want you to know, I’m leaving for my Midtown studio tomorrow if you’d like to come.”

Tom took a second before nodding, his face still flushed. “Why are you heading back to the city?” If he knew anything about her, it’s that Bea loves spending time with her uncle, aunt, and her cousins.

“I have a flight from JFK the morning after back to LA.” She noted, smiling softly. Tom felt his heart drop at the stated, yet undeniable, fact.

Tom lives in London. Bea lives in LA. Bea leaves for LA in two days. Tom leaves for London in three.

“Hurry Up!” Robert urged. The two of them are steps away from the car, but Rob and Susan have to pick their kids up from school. “Guys! I have children that aren’t either of you!”

The two of them had closed their lips, not smiling – remembering the fate the two of them have if they do become a thing. Long distance. Long distance can either build a relationship or kill it.

Ignoring the threatening fact, the two of them slid into the backseat of Rob’s car headed for their home. They both attempted to ignore the shit-eating smirks on both of Rob’s and Susan’s faces. “Okay, shut up” Bea said immediately as she clicked her seatbelt in.

“I didn’t say anything!” Rob exclaimed, “But I do want to say; I love you Bea” He turned around, switching the conversation before his niece gets too embarrassed as she hates public displays of affection. “I loved your gifts and your video, and I read your letter, and I love you so much.” He leaned back in the car and gave his niece a kiss on the cheek. “I know I said it before, but I really loved it.”

As her uncle returned to his seat, Bea sheepishly looked at Tom before attempting to be smooth. Sure, long distance can kill but we’re here now, Bea internally defended her choice to stay with Tom for the night. “So you know much you love me?” Bea had her voice in a higher octave, indicating to Robert that she wants something – especially as she recycled the words he just used. Robert groaned from the passenger seat.

“What do you want?”

“Do you mind if I leave after dinner tonight rather than tomorrow morning?” She inquired. She’s not necessarily asking for permission, but just ensuring the birthday boy is okay with her leaving earlier than expected.

Rob glanced at his wife, who already has a knowing smirk on her lips. “It’s more than okay.”

Once the two got at the mansion and the responsible parents left to pick up their two children, Tom was in awe. He’s seen pictures of Bea’s teenage home but never actually stepped inside of it. “This is beautiful.” In his mind, Tom pictured a house like this for Bea and him in the future; maybe two to three kids to accompany it. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of a future with Bea.

In fact, he planned out the kids names; Charlotte Nicola for the girl and Edward Harrison for the boy. Charlotte for Bea’s mom, Edward for Bea’s dad. He didn’t let himself get attached to any last name as he didn’t want Bea, if he mentioned this to her, to feel pressured to take his name. He knows how much her last name means to her.

“I keep both my uncle’s last name and my dad’s last name.” Tom remembered Bea once told him as the two were fidgeting with each other’s fingers, laying under the stars, “Downey first because that’s something that made sense and it’s something in Asian cultures and Parker last. Downey as my uncle raised me and as a commemoration for my mother, and Parker to remember my biological father.” That was also the day the two had shared their biggest fears, which ended up being the same; one is not doing anything that could change the world and the other being losing someone they love.

“Please let me see your childhood bedroom.” Tom pleaded, doing his best puppy dog eyes. Bea stood her ground and shook her head. “Please…” Tom pouted, coming closer and taking her hands into his. She shook her head. “Please…” Tom pressed his lips against her jaw, peppering it with kisses. Bea shook her head, trying to hold her ground as he hit all the right marks. He started sucking at her jaw, making her weak in the knees.

She jumped back, making him nervous he did something wrong. “Oh, you’re evil.” She squinted his eyes, pushing him away.

He chuckled, “Fine, but I’m asking Susan and RDJ as soon as they get here for old photo albums.”

Bea raised her eyebrows up and down, “Try and see if you can escape Exton and Avri first, Mr. Flipster.” Mr. Flipster was something one of her cousins (Bea had forgotten who to be exact) had called him when they first saw his audition reel, and now they’ve continued calling him that rather than his actual name. They’re tough to please…not really. If they see you do a trick, they get fascinated. It just happened that flipping was Tom’s.

In all honesty, Bea found Tom extremely attractive when he spent time with children – particularly her cousins. He was such a warmhearted and considerate person. She continually thought the world doesn’t deserve someone like him, as he continuously made her heart swell. She truly was the luckiest person on the planet, she’d tell herself – seeing a man who’s so kind and loving to everybody be so devoted . Moments like those are one of the few occasions Bea wants to be a mother.

She hasn’t told anyone this, but she never wanted kids. She never wanted to be a mother. She didn’t want her past traumas or any potential future traumas make her a bad mother, nor does she want something that she loves so much only to lose eighteen years later. Instead, she wanted to be that cool second-aunt (as she has no biological siblings) who sees the kids every few weekends with interesting gifts and even better stories. The only person who made her question that was Tom. It made her question it so much, she also told Noah she wanted a child.

Tom’s head threw back. “Bea, please.” He pouted once more before Bea could practically see a lightbulb turn on over his head as his eyes widening and a grin replaced the pout. “Don’t you need help packing to stay with me for the night?”

“Nice try, bitch-acho.” She teased, “I only brought a single duffle bag.” But she saw his face once more. He wasn’t doing anything in particular – a slight pout placed on his lips as his wide eyes only gleamed at her. “Fine.” Before Bea could see the beautiful, triumphant look on his face, she turned around – trying to act stubborn and annoyed, when really, she was just a lovesick fool.

Tom followed her up the stairs and into her old bedroom, immediately catching his eye on a photo of her at her first audition…which happened to be right next to a photo of her and Logan, dressed up as fairies. Tom awed, making Bea groan.

“This is why I didn’t want you up here!” She exclaimed. “There’s so much blackmail material.”

Tom tisked, approaching Bea and wrapping his arms around her body. “My love, I already have enough blackmail material to last a century.” He teased, swaying her back and forth. “I don’t think small additions will affect it.” Bea rolled her eyes. Like her, Tom was someone who filmed everything to hold either as dear memories or just for later blackmailing.

“Let go! I need to pack, and I want to get out of this outfit!”

Within the hour, Bea and Tom were in the kitchen – attempting to bake a cake for her uncle, something she does every year for his birthday. Tom may be a great cook, but he had never baked. Bea, on the other hand, hadn’t been in the house since Tom walked out on her and everything has moved. “Where the fuck is the pan?” She called.

“Language!” Robert exclaimed, walking into the room. “Also in the bottom drawer to the left.” As soon as they heard the sound of the door hitting the wall, squeals of two little children calling for ‘Mr. Flipster’ filled the living room.

“Told you so.” Bea triumphantly hummed, making Tom roll his eyes and take off the apron – slapping her bum gently as he walked past her and went to the kids.

For the rest of the evening, everyone focused on Rob or their duties for the evening. In particular, Bea and Susan baked the cake, Rob (as the birthday boy) relaxed and responded to some birthday letters, and Tom entertained the kids in the backyard. That meant that no one dared to bring up the elephant in the room or shall popular internet culture say – the tea. Tea, funnily enough, also happens to be Bea and Tom’s popularized ship name.

The rest of the night was a blur. There was the dinner where Tom held Bea’s hand underneath the table the whole time, causing Rob and Susan to hide their childish snickers. Then they had cake, where Avri and Exton pleaded to spend extra time decorating with frosting – spending 30 minutes painting on a barely distinguishable drawing of Tony Stark before they actually got to eat the cake. After the meal, Tom wanted to help Bea and Susan clean the dishes or talk to Rob for his approval, but the kids took him away – back to the garden, where it was now dark, to now teach them some stunts.

Susan couldn’t help but notice the extra gleam in Bea’s eyes, the fuller and brighter smile, the lack of preoccupation in her laugh. She couldn’t help but observe the way Tom stared at her like she was his queen, or how Tom couldn’t take his hand off of Bea. It took her all her might not to bring it up, she knows that once she asked Bea about it, she’d only feel awkward and retreat.

Eventually, Robert called for Bea to do their annual birthday event, a binge of any movie on TV. In this case, it happened to be action movies. They usually do this until both of them fall asleep. Susan would walk into the room at ten, wake them up, and then spend the rest of the evening with her husband whilst Bea attempts to sleep. Tom, who was now tired out, played board games with the kids. Bea had visited him throughout the evening, going to check on him, called him a ‘glorified yet underpaid babysitter, and then kissing him and disappearing once more. It was obvious Exton and Avri loved Tom like a brother – like RDJ loved him like a son or a protégé.

Ten o’clock rolled around, and Susan instructed Tom to call an Uber after letting the kids go off to bed. As soon as the Uber app notified Tom that it was three minutes away, Susan guided Tom upstairs to the movie room.

Bea and Robert shared a blanket on the couch, both of them fell asleep to action movies with heavy artillery noises.

How did I get here, he asked himself. A few years ago, he was dreaming about becoming Spider-Man with posters of Beatrice Downey on the wall and a never-ending appreciation for the Downey’s. Now, he’s dating the girl he had dreamt about and considers his acting idol as a mentor and good friend.

“Yeah, don’t ask me how they sleep with all those noises in the background,” Susan chuckled as Tom stared lovingly at Bea, running his hands through his hair which had turned unkept from all the tumbles and flips he had to do. “It’s terrible for the kids – when they walk in and see Bea and their dad just sleeping to the sight of death.” Tom laughed at the visual. “You know, we don’t have one on one time often…do you mind if I talk to you?” Susan requested.

Tom nodded, scrunching his eyebrows. “Yeah, what’s up?” Susan closed the door silently and turned to him. She took a deep breath before unloading.

“Last year, when you guys broke up, she was devastated.” Auntie Susan noted. “I raised her, and she thinks she can hide it from me, from everyone, by ‘moving on’ fast. But you’re the only person she’s ever felt that way with.” Tom’s heart imploded with love and pain – he never wanted to hurt her. “But, as I see you together, you look at her with so much love and she looks at you with so much love and knowing both of you, you are literally perfect for each other. It’s like you guys are so in sync you don’t have to tell each other what’s going on and that’s…absolutely beautiful. When watching Bea grow up, I wanted her to find someone who’d love her like she’s their whole world. I’m so grateful it’s you – you treat her like she’s your whole universe. Please take care of her. Underneath her tough exterior, she’s fragile – from what happened when you broke up, from being an actress, and from acting instead of dealing with her emotions. She’s had a tough past and I know you know some details about it, but she’s hiding more than you think. Don’t push her. Don’t let her cave into herself again. And for the sake of both of your happiness, don’t let her go.”

Tom gave Susan a big hug, “I won’t.” If he was being completely honest, he was on the brink of tears. There are only a few things in this world that could make him cry on the spot; his family, Tessa, animation films, and Bea.

“I know.”

They opened the door once more. The two people who loved those two the most stared at the both of them, chuckling at their behavior and felt the love they had for them multiply (if that was even possible). “I can carry her to the Uber.” Tom mentioned.

“Don’t be ridiculous, let her walk.” Susan chuckled. “She’d hate herself if she made you carry her.” Tom, although felt awkward and slightly disappointed to wake up his sleeping beauty, listened to her aunt. In all honestly, he’s partly grateful. He’s been working out to bulk up for the upcoming film and he was particularly sore after the last few days stuck in the gym. After shaking her slightly to wake her up, Bea was on her feet – out of it, groggy, and delusional - but awake and walking. Tom had wrapped his arm around her waist and placed her arm around his shoulders for support.

“Hey Tommy boy,” Bea smiled goofily, like a child who was gifted with all the candy in the world. “I missed ya” She sang, making Tom return the goofy smile.

“I missed you too.” Tom chuckled, “The Uber is here so we’ll be at my hotel in no time.”

“Take care of her and yourself, Tom.” Susan whispered, patting him on the shoulder, “I’ll wake up Rob and tell him you said goodbye. It was nice seeing you.” As Tom was about to leave, Susan let out a loud ‘Oh’, making Tom turn around. “I forgot. I saw you looking at a photo of Bea earlier and Rob made this for you last year when he thought you’d tell everyone you guys were official.” She took out a USB drive that contained every single photo of Bea her uncle had. “They’re photos of Bea.”

Tom smirked, thanking her and giving her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for this.” Ultimate blackmail material achieved, he told himself in victory before carefully leading Bea down the stairs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bea woke up at seven in the morning (a habit she gets when she doesn’t have to wake up at three in the morning for work). The bed felt more like home than anything she had experienced in the last year, despite her never having been in this hotel before. She attributed it to Tom’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face nuzzling into her shoulder as he hummed with his occasional snores.

Bea slowly turned around, not wanting to wake up Tom, so she could memorize all the details in his face. From the little bump he has near his nose to a slight scar he had from breaking his nose on set to his slightly more arched eyebrow. She sighed; her heart skipping a beat. Her eyes sparked as she stared at him, her pupils dilated, her heart felt like it was floating.

He looked so peaceful – so happy. She didn’t think she’d see this marvelous sight again; a sight million would pay to see. It was as beautiful as the northern lights, with the sunshine creeping from behind him making him look like an ang-

“AH!” Tom screamed, scaring Bea – making her fall onto the floor, screaming. “Oh fuck, love, I’m so sorry, darling oh shit, let me get you something cold.” As Tom scrambled out of the bed and towards the mini-fridge to get a frosted soda, Bea burst out laughing – making Tom halt in his steps.

“You bitch!” She chuckled, pointing her finger at him accusingly as she stood and wobbled over (she hit her head on the dresser and felt somewhat dizzy) to Tom. “You’re such a bitch!”

Tom opened his arms wide, gladly accepting the slightly smaller girl into his arms. “That’s what you get for watching me sleep.” Tom pressed his lips against her forehead. As he wrapped his arms around her, his hands went up and down her back in a soothing fashion. “You know, you never told me where you got that scar.” He mumbled, feeling her tense under his touch of the scar; a scar located towards her shoulder bone. Ever since Susan told her that Bea has a lot more about her past that she hasn’t let on, Tom felt determined to know about it. After all, Bea practically knows everything about his past – from the weight he was when he was born (unfortunately, Nikki showed her a photo album with those details listed) to the first time he had a wet dream.

“Skiing incident.” Bea answered quickly, “but it’s no big deal.” She was eager to change the conversation, purely wanting to focus on being with him and ignore the stupid old scar she'd never want to think about again. “It’s nothing. Ages ago.” And then they both went quiet, Tom pressing his lips against hers again - feeling the tension from the question. Everything felt in place.

In a moment like this, neither of them has to speak; the silence was music to their ears as they swayed in the room, just appreciating the company and the rhythm of both their hearts beating against one another.

taglist:

@charismas-world @athermosofsad

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badfanfics · 5 years

Text

fallback - extra #2

happy birthday!

series masterlist

relates to chapter 8

summary: the sickeningly sentimental letter that bea wrote for rdj on his birthday -- no tom in this one, just a part i wanted to include

Hello Uncle Robbie!

I know you hate that nickname, but this is going to be sickening for you and your hatred with dealing with emotions, so might as well make you hate me first.

So to the uncle who had raised me all my life; thank you. Thank you for not looking at me like I’m a reminder of my parents, even though I know I am from the endless amounts of times our family says I am. Thank you for putting my needs beyond my own. Thank you for putting so much energy into raising me and into helping me become who I am today.

I was interviewed the other day and asked about my relationship with you. I always knew I admired you but that question made me recall everything you did for me; from fighting Granny Lydia in court in order to take me into your rightful custody, becoming sober in order to win that court case, feeding me and housing me, attending every single thing of mine, being so supportive, constantly checking in on me – the list goes on and on.

I remember that before the accident, I’d always tell my mom how much I wanted to be like you. I hope I’m making you proud.

From our central park days to your stupid ‘wise’ advice, everything you’ve done only encouraged me to work harder and work better.

I feel like I have to call you dad at this point, but I know you don’t want me to so I won’t forget your brother-in-law. But you are my father. And I’ll never forget him. He was my father, but was taken away from me so soon. But I was blessed with another father; a father with a beard that I tell him I hate even though it’s iconic, a father with crappy dad jokes that at the time makes me want to cringe but then laugh hours later, and a father who constantly makes me proud to be related to them.

You took me to my first acting class (even though you were the teacher and wanted to be extra by renting out a classroom just for me) and you took me to my first audition. You attend all my premieres and my I don’t have the words to say how much you mean to me. I try my best to put together the words to explain how much I love you, how much you have helped me, and how you have been so influential in my life but it’s never enough. This is my tenth draft and I haven’t improved one bit.

So, as I’m running out and before you start not-hating me again and thus stop tolerating this letter, I want to say I love you so much. I constantly hope I make you proud. You inspire me endlessly. And I wouldn’t be who I was without you. So happy birthday; to the fun uncle, to my mom’s epic cool brother, and to my dedicated and just perfectly imperfect father. You deserve the world and all the happiness and success in it.

Love,

Bea

(sorry, I cringed at what I wrote too but I never appreciate you enough and lets face it - we’re both terrible at facing our own emotions -- guess i got it from you 😉 )

taglist:

@athermosofsad @charismas-world

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badfanfics · 5 years

Text

fallback - chapter eight

series masterlist

chapter eight: candles

Bea realized something; she wasn’t meant for romantic relationships.

Each and every one of her romantic relationship ended weirdly or terribly; Colin having cheated on her, Tom walking out, and giving up on Noah – someone she was sure had loved her. But at the same time, she wasn’t deserving of the love Noah had to give; she didn’t love him back nearly as much as he loved her.

So, as her celebrity crush on Harry Styles deepened through the course of filming with him as her love interest for ‘The River’, Bea made sure not to fall in love with him – after all, having a crush and falling in love are two very different things. To repel loving him in a not-so platonic way, she reminded herself of all the fights and all the negative feelings apart of being in a relationship; the jealousy, the anger, the confinement, the annoyance. At the end of the filming, she swore she wanted to be alone.

The film wrapped up two days before her favorite time of the year, so as soon as the director called ‘cut’ on the reshoots and the cast and crew party was over – Bea flew out to New York.

April 4 was widely celebrated by the Marvel cast and crew, as well as every other member of RDJ’s life. He charms everyone he meets and manages to make everyone feel loved and special. It’s why he’s such an amazing person. It’s always a special day; RDJ hosts a large barbeque at a closed-off park and invites as many people as he possibly can.

Unfortunately, Bea’s usual favorite celebration is the one she’s dreading the most. Up until last month, she was exhilarated to see Tom again; to have an excuse to talk to him and let her feelings smoothly flow into conversation. But guess she doesn’t need that excuse anymore cause now he’s taken, and Logan was right. She waited too long and now lost her chance.

So now it was three in the morning of April 4; Bea was spending hours staring at her ceiling, her foot trembling with both excitement and nervous energy. She was excited; it was time to show her uncle how much she really appreciates him (she bought him this very special gift from his favorite shop, customized a bunch of posters, and made him a heartfelt letter) whilst seeing members of the MCU cast and crew (who she can’t exaggerate enough as her family - barely any of them are blood-related to her, but they raised her; they supported her, they attended her premieres, and they constantly check inr. However, she was nervous; as part of seeing her MCU family, she has to see Tom. If he talks to her, who knows what she’ll say?

She had magically found herself dozing off to sleep, only to be awaken by her alarm clock at eight. At 8:30, her uncle and aunt are going to the park to set things up, so Bea wanted to greet her uncle before they go. Additionally, she told her uncle and aunt to not book the child sitter as she’ll drive the kids to school at 8:45 so she had to be ready nevertheless.

Running down the steps with Winnie following along after Bea changed into sweatpants and a tank top, Bea leaped onto her uncle’s back. “Happy birthday!” She sang, “I love you!” She peppered his cheeks with kisses, making him laugh, especially as Winnie was barking to join the hug. “Good morning Auntie!” Bea sung to her aunt, who just laughed at the pair and took out her phone for a photo.

Robert laughed, “The last time you did that you were fifteen.” Bea chuckled, smothering her face in his shoulder, making him laugh even more. “Okay off, off, you might kill me by strangulation.”

“I’m not even holding your neck!” Bea retorted as she jumped off his back, landing on the ground and standing beside him. Robert put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a side hug – making Bea wrap her arms around his side.

“Strangulation by association.” She leant back slightly only to flick him in fake offense, before hugging him once more. “Alright, we’re heading over to the park to get ready – do you need us to do anything to help with babysitting?”

Bea flicked her palm, gesticulating that it’s no need. “It’s your day, don’t worry about it at all. Relax and chill and have fun, okay?” Her uncle rolled her eyes playfully, despite how appreciative he is to have such a mature niece. He pressed his lips against her forehead.

“We’ll be back to get ready but make sure you’re ready by 11:30 please.” Bea gave him a thumbs up, before giving a kiss on each of her aunt’s cheeks and waving them off. As soon as they were out the door, Bea poured dog food for Winnie and then started to cook waffles for her cousins who were more like her younger siblings at this point.

As soon as the chocolate chip waffles with chocolate syrup were plated, Bea went upstairs to wake them up. “Come on, let’s go!” She was lucky the children was so easy to wake up, especially as they are always so hyperactive. “Waffles on the counter!” She called as they sprinted downstairs.

Eventually, their rushed breakfast was over and Bea was guiding them into her rental car. “Is Winnie coming with us?” Winnie has impressively not attacked any of the cats yet, in fact – Winnie and the cats behave well with one another.

“Yes,” Bea grinned, “I’m walking her in that park near your school.” Avri squealed, calling Winnie to her lap in the backseat.

At eleven, Bea finally got back home. The school wasn’t far at all, but Winnie was so hyperactive that they spent two hours playing in the park and getting pretzels; one with Chocolate for Bea and a smaller one without any poisoning ingredients for Winnie.

On the way back to the house, she had to drop Winnie off at a dog-sitters house – knowing she shouldn’t be left alone and that she’s terrified by big crowds.

It may be because she has taken the last month to appreciate the people who support her or it may be because today was the way he was born, but she started realizing how much RDJ really did so much for her. In particular, her whole family has been looking at her like a painful reminder of their deceased children or sibling. However, Robert never did…or he did and he pushed through it. Once her parents passed away, her uncle was the one who really fought to take care of her. It was after his stint at rehab so her paternal grandmother was trying her best to take custody of Bea but she was quite awful, and legally – Robert had the right to take care of her as his sister (aka Bea’s mother, Charlotte) and her husband both trusted him more. Unfortunately, the child services didn’t appreciate an alcoholic guardian. So, Robert got sober for her. And fought to get her under his custody.

Ever since then, Robert was the one who took care of her – and when he married Susan, Susan practically became her adoptive mother. Sometimes it felt weird not to call him dad and sometimes it’s weird to call him anything other than uncle. It’s this weird mix. Robert didn’t want her to call him dad to make sure she remembers her parents, but she was his daughter. There was no doubt behind it.

He attended every one of her auditions, he brought her to her first audition, he was the one who got her to therapy. Every month, they had a ‘Robear date’. Bea couldn’t have asked for anyone better to raise her than him. She wouldn’t be who she was without him but she also wondered what would’ve happened if her parents raised her, knowing her biological father wasn’t big on the acting lifestyle.

Going up to her bedroom, she decided she wanted to wear something appropriately sexy – meaning something she can wear in front of family but something that’ll also make Tom realise what he’s missing. She knew just the thing – but first, she put on music and took a shower.

It was a rusty orange jumpsuit with a plunging neckline that made Bea praise the lord for her lack of boobs. There was a thick strap as a sleeve, allowing the back to be open with silver chains strapping across her back. The plunging neckline and chained, strappy back is interrupted by an orange-like belt, leading down to the flowing back.

“Fuck yeah.” Bea mumbled, patting down her pants as she spun around in the mirror; admiring how her butt looked. She knew if Winnie was here, she’d bark in response – leading to Bea’s ongoing joke of Winnie being a ‘better stylist than Logan’. Unfortunately, Bea was known for not wearing make-up unless for promos or premieres, so she had to back out of wearing make-up in order to make this look less petty than it actually was. Bea then put her hair into a high ponytail with some loose strands in front of her face; a style Tom had always complimented and mentioned that he loved.

“You look nice.” Susan sang, picking Bea up from the house. “Is this for a special somebody?” She winked as Bea got into shot gun as Robert was now greeting guests at the park.

Bea raised her eyebrows, lifting her hands in defense. “So I can’t dress up for me?” Susan furrowed her eyebrows as she quickly looked at her before returning them to the road, calling her out on her bullshit. Bea, due to her history, can get extremely stressed or nervous in a car – so Ray never takes his eyes off the road driving and Susan tries her best in order to calm Bea. “Fine. But it’s just me being petty.”

“Well, you look gorgeous.” Susan grinned. “Also, is your surprise in order?”

The brunette grinned mischievously; she had edited and filmed a short film that featured some really notable people to her uncle and childhood videos, edited together to make a tribute video. “Yes, I have it in my bag.”

Susan chuckled, “Yeah – Rob was pretty suspicious when I asked for a projector, I told him I got some photos of him up – which I did – but it’s mainly there for your film.”

The duo arrived back at the party; it being full-motion by the time they got there.

The actress was obligated to make a b-line for her family; greeting her Aunt Allyson, her husband, and her grandfather and his wife. “Bea!” Her grandfather exclaimed at the sight of his daughter’s daughter, opening his arms wide for his granddaughter. “I thought you’d be filming.”

“I just wrapped two nights ago.” She smiled, “How are you pops?”

He didn’t answer the question, just lovingly stared at the granddaughter he hasn’t seen in person for years – Bea could see the pain strained in his eyes. “You look so much like your mother.”

Bea smiled sadly at the comment. She hasn’t thought much of how she looks or acts like her parents, only if they’re proud of her – and she hopes they were. She has three photos of them in her house, and then got rid of the rest; her therapist recommended they be stored away from her. “Thank you.” Bea appreciatively said, knowing her mother was gorgeous. Her heart panged. She wanted to get out.

One reason why Bea wasn’t as close as she was to he rother family members, despite wanting to, is she can tell she’s a depressing reminder of their fallen sister. Auntie Allyson constantly brought up the year her mother died if the conversation goes to a null and her grandfather, as you can tell, just compares Bea to her mother.

“Do you remember Rob’s first birthday with Bea?” Auntie Allyson asked her husband. “He just celebrated her. I think he really missed his sister.”

It always reminds her to really appreciate her uncle. She’s a depressing reminder, sure, but her uncle faces it every day and took responsibility for it and got over his old self-destructive habit to take care of her.

After the excruciating small talk with her aunt, uncle, and grandfather was over, Bea caught glimpse of her cousin. “Yo!” Bea called, “Indio!” Indio was like her half-brother. The boy grinned, walking over to his siblings and his cousins. “How are you?” Bea gave him a large embrace, pecking each cheek – not having seen him in person since he got arrested on drug charges.

After a quick catch-up, Bea departed to talk with everyone else who’s been in the MCU – aka her close family. The MCU – from Stan Lee to Zendaya (despite being close friends before) became a family who loved and supported her constantly.

Zendaya. She thought. Robert never really met Zendaya on set so she’s not really certain if she’ll come. Zendaya; she loves that girl to death! She always told people she’d go lesbian for her if they weren’t best friends and it’d ruin the friendship. But thinking about her and Tom, her heart just fell, and she felt weak again.

Part of the reason she’s been jumping from group to group, friend to friend; is probably to look preoccupied so Tom won’t approach her. Chris Evans and Hemsworth is her next target of conversation; the two are some of her favorite people to stay with on set as they both are so funny and tend to prank everyone else. Throughout the conversation, Evan’s rested his muscular arm on her head – making fun of her height and age whilst Hemsworth caught up with her like normal, as if Evans was not even there.

Scarlett Johansson and Benedict Cumerbatch were next in her conversation list, before heading over to Chadwick Boseman (who she had the biggest crush on at one point so she’s still very awkward around him) and Jeremy Renner.

Within two hours, Bea has met up with and spoke to everyone apart of the MCU who attended for at least ten minutes; except one.

Bea grabbed two glasses; one for Ray (who, again, was one of Robert’s close friends / security guard before he was Jessie’s) and one for herself. Ray was towards the back of the party, not loosening up, so she decided to get him a drink when suddenly…

“Have you been avoiding me or something?” Tom awkwardly chuckled, standing in front of Bea – accidentally causing both drinks to spill over her chest and making his eyes go wide and Bea to jump back.

“Jesus fuck that’s cold.” Bea exclaimed, the iced alcohol landing on skin making the hair on her arm’s stand.

The British boy’s eyes widened, “Fuck wait let me get you a tissue. I’m so sorry.”

“I can do it, it’s fine.” Of course, Tom will be kind and sprint to the bar in seconds. When is he not? It’s one of her favorite qualities about him.

His hands awkwardly reached forward before retracting – acknowledging where the drink was spilt as his hands journeyed his way to help clean the mess he made. “Uhhh…” Tom stuttered, unsure to what to do. Bea gave him an appreciative smile as she took the tissues with his hand, knowing how awkward it will be if Tom wipes the alcohol from in between her barely-there boobs – even if they have been there before. His eyes remained to where Bea’s rubbing the alcohol from her skin, before realizing the disrespect and landing his eyes on hers. “You look…absolutely stunning.”

Mission accomplished, Bea teased herself – acknowledging her petty ways. “Thank you.” Bea properly looked up; seeing Tom in a white button-up that’s been folded up to his elbow and that’s been unbuttoned a bit on the top, hinting at his toned chest. “You too.” That bitch. Bea had told him on a date that he found that very exact outfit his hottest outfit.

They stared at each other for a bit; Bea rocking back and forth while Tom just lovingly stared at the girl in front of him. What do you say to a boy you love who doesn’t love you back? “How has the new year been? Don’t think I heard from you for ages.” January to be exact. If it wasn’t obvious, Bea was lying; she’d check his Instagram and Facebook every few days – that, and Haz constantly updated her about what’s happening in both their lives.

“Good, good, great even!” She didn’t know this but Tom was praising the Lord yet scared like hell that she hasn’t mentioned the snapchat from New Years day. “I got casted for an animated movie and I’m terrified I’m going to cry, you know me and animations.” He nudged her, making her chuckle as she remembered watching Anastasia with him and him bursting out crying. “How about you? I heard you got a dog!”

“Yeah, she’s getting dog sat right now. She hates crowds.” Every second felt full of tension, as if the questions they really wanted to ask was hanging in the air. “I also just wrapped up a film with Harry Styles where I played a witch, so that was fun.”

Tom felt jealous. She and him once shared each other ‘their lists’ of celebrities they’d drop their pants for as soon as it is consensual and possible. Harry Styles was top of that list for her, alongside Ben Hardy, Joe Keery, Lakeith Stanfield, Phoebe Tonkin, Jacob Elori, Jenna Coleman, Gina Rodriguez and James McAvoy.

“Uh, oh yeah - I broke up with Noah.” Bea added. Tom got excited again but concealed it, not wanting to look happy about something that’s supposed to be heartbreaking.

“How long ago?”

“4 months or so.” Tom was doing the math in his head – was the breakup in response to my video? He thought, now consciously covering himself up. Maybe I have a chance, he hyped himself up – despite his insecurity in his starting-to-be-bulky body. It was what he intended to do for future films, but as he stood in front of the girl he adored – he wanted to look perfect.

“I’m sorry.” Tom lied, “What happened?”

You. Bea wanted to scream. This whole conversation had her biting her lip, trying to prevent the words from screaming out; you, you, you. She suddenly felt anger rise in her; how dare he lead her on? “None of your business.” She turned cold, “Oh look! Jimmy! Bye!” Bea quickly walked away from Tom, ignoring the lack of drinks in her hand.

The lovestruck boy was confused. The conversation was going okay and then suddenly, it’s like the door closed. Tom quickly chased after Bea – despite being similar heights and Bea fast-walking, Tom didn’t care about who saw him sprint after her.

“Oi,” He called, “Oi!” He called once more, “OI!” Bea turned her head harshly, annoyed that he may be stealing the attention of the party to him rather than Robert. “What was that?” He asked, opening his arms wide in confusion. Yes, of course he has to call me out she groaned internally. It was one of her favorite qualities about him, but right now – it infuriates her with red hot fury. She grabbed his arm; which is significantly bulkier than before (making Bea’s stomach roll), and maybe not-so accidentally dug her nails slightly into his skin. She took him away from people and into the public bathroom.

Her eyes rolled back as her voice became as sharp as a sword. “How are things between you and Zendaya?” Tom was so shocked; he literally took a step back. His silence gave her the answer – the wrong answer, yet still an answer. “I saw the photos. Can I tell you you do not get to message me like that or kiss me or call me and then not give me a forewarning?”

Despite Tom not dating Zendaya, he was mad at her accusation. “Excuse me?” He exclaimed, now full of anger. “You haven’t spoken to me in eight months. Are you not expecting me to move on?” Oh shit, it’s been that long; Bea forgot about it. “So I’m supposed to text you if I’m dating someone? Did you do that with me and Noah? Do you know how fucking heartbroken I was when I found out? I legit couldn’t get out of the house, I fucking missed you so much.”

“Fine.” Bea was stubborn with Tom – unsuaully stubborn. So, she wasn’t going to let him win. “Let me get you out of your hair.” Before Bea could leave the unisex toilet room, Tom took her wrist and spun him into her – his arms wrapped around her waist.

“I’m not dating Zendaya.” He whispered as he stared down at her lips, his hot breath hitting her face. “I don’t want to date anybody if it weren’t for you.”

Bea suddenly felt all the doubts of being in a relationship slip away being in his arms. “I’m not meant for anybody else but you.” He whispered again, leaning in closer. “You’re the one for me.” His lips hovered over hers.

“You know,” Bea whispered back; lips centimeters away, “I realized something…I thought I could learn to love Noah and I thought it was because I was moving on, but no, it’s because I never felt anything like how I felt with you and that feeling could never happen with anyone else.” Fuck, I hate being so cheesy. She told herself, but the smile on Tom’s face made all her regrets dissipate.

“Let me show you how much I love you.” He grinned, looking into her eyes as if asking permission, before pressing his lips against hers. “I love you,” His voice was muffled by her lips on his, as he repeatedly said the three words. “I love you, I love you, I love you,…” When the both of them felt faint, they pulled away.

If Bea was pink before, she was as red as a tomato now. “You know, someone once told me that if you say something too much, it loses it’s meaning.”

Tom smirked, “then let me show you without any words.” He pressed his lips against hers again, not caring about who sees – even her uncle. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her slightly so she’d be sitting on the sink making her yelp against his lips. Her arms went straight around his neck, hanging loosely as her legs wrapped around her waist.

Bea felt unbelievably happy. She felt free and liberated and in love and all the good descriptive words she knows. In fact, there are not enough words to describe how Tom made her feel and how good this moment felt.

“You are such a bitch.” Bea chuckled against his lips, “You wore that on purpose.” She pulled away and jumped off the sink.

Tom’s eyes widened in fake offense, “As if you didn’t spill your drinks on purpose!”

“Excuse me?” Tom realized what he said. “Yeah, exactly.” The two of them chuckled before Tom pressed his lips against her forehead and then her nose and then her lips.

“I don’t ever want to lose you again.” Tom noticed how Bea has yet to say ‘I love you’ back. In his eyes, yes – it hurts. But, he understands. Last time she said those three words, she left.

“Okay,” She stifled a laugh, “So don’t lose me in the crowd because it’s my uncle’s birthday and I don’t want to spend all of it in the bathroom with you.”

As the two of them left the bathroom; Tom constantly trying to bring Bea closer to him while she kept her distance and only held his hand. Susan rolled her eyes at Robert. “You planned this, didn’t you?” Susan inquired.

“You always say I’m oblivious about my girl,” Robert noted, “But I raised her. I watched her grow up. I taught her some of the small nuances of emotion she now has mastered, but I can always find her tell. I can read her like a damn book.” Susan lent her head against her shoulder, loving the relationship between her husband and his daughter-like niece. “But, that said, she doesn’t like receiving help like normal people. So, I bend my ways and make my help more subtle.”

“So, when you invited him to the premiere?”

Robert looked sheepish, “Okay Tom told me minimal information of the dilemma back then.” Susan playfully slapped him, “What?”

“Trying to act so clever just about listening.” Susan’s squinted her eyes.

Robert widened his own in response. “It’s my birthday, you have to act like I’m clever!” He defended.

“Do you think they had sex in the bathroom?” Susan whispered, knowing it’d bother him. Yes, they both knew Bea and Tom were not virgins so they must’ve done it, but they wouldn’t imagine them doing it in the same proximity as they.

“It’s my birthday, let’s not think about that.”

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fallback - chapter seven

series masterlist

chapter seven: speculations -- march 2018

Noah’s words ringed in her head, “Go to Tom…Go be happy…”

How could she go to Tom when she wasn’t sure if Tom actually wanted to be with her? She constantly worries that Tom only said he loved her because she was taken. He has yet to reach out, despite there being tons of articles speculating about Noah and Bea’s relationship.

What if Noah and her’s relationship was endgame and she lost it because of some stupid infatuation? They were called couple goals numerous times, especially after New Years eve.

Bea was unsure what to do. Does she message Tom? Does she wait for him to respond after seeing articles?

She never had the option to take this much control over her life before. She was always the one being asked or being told what to do, she always had relationships that start in person – not online. She never had to be the one to reach out – as narcissistic as it sounds.

It’s been two months since the break-up and Bea has been left as someone who just stares off into space or into her phone, just constantly in conflict about what she wants to do. It’s either that; staring at an empty space or working.

Working now felt like less pressure. She had a confirmed role to be in for the future and was finalizing the contracts, and now missing a day of work doesn’t threaten her mental health (not like she misses work anyway, she loves it). She felt more liberated than she did before, but now she had a ball and chain which she called her phone and ‘waiting for a message’. Hell, she event put Tom’s contact information as another notification sound so she can tell from afar.

Today, in particular, was Logan’s early (as requested by Logan since Bea will be travelling to film the next few months) bachelorette party. This week was the last week Bea would be in Los Angeles for this month, having to fly around the world to do some promotional tours for other films she worked on last year and film one project and then another project and then another. She just praised the fact she didn’t have to do any promotional tours any guest roles she did for television.

Yes, Bea has fully booked herself once more – but without an ulterior motive. She felt free and liberated, but now she just had to get away from her damn phone or work out if she’ll text him.

“Agh, I love this trip already!” Logan squealed, wrapping her arms around Bea’s arm as they enter the BnB for the twelve other guests and them. Neither of them has been to New Orleans long enough to actually learn and enjoy the history and the subcultures apart of the intricate city.

For this trip, Bea basically booked one activity for each day of the four days they’re staying and then had options for the rest of the day. The last night, however, had a special scavenger hunt dealing with questions about William, Logan, and their relationship. At the end of the day, William will surprise them in a cop costume and try to shut the party down.

The Air BnB was apart of the New Orleans aesthetic – pastel yet bright and vibrant walls, a series of plants and vintage items marking each corner, the furniture reminding Bea of the regal times. New Orleans was so beautiful and Bea only felt much more guilt for not exploring this beautiful city earlier.

“So, today” Bea called out to the girls after they went and dibbsed the four rooms. Three girls per room was the arrangement, so Bea and Logan stayed together alongside a mutual close friend named Valerie. “I booked a private city tour and then tonight, a supernatural tour.” Logan loves city tours and horror stories, so it was only right to start the bachelorette party off with that. The second day, Logan being a fashion queen, Bea planned to go around to the famous vintage shops and St Roch Market. On the third day, Napoleon House and the French quarter and some beignets from the famous Café due Monde. Then the fourth day is a half day to do whatever peeked their interest or whatever they forgot before flying back to LA.

Logan squealed in excitement. “I really want to meet some VooDoo people.” She noted, before interrupting herself. “NO! I really want to meet some fortune tellers, come on – let’s go see fortune tellers tonight.”

Bea was proud of her work. She planned this for Logan and it’s obvious she loved it, from the way she was constantly bouncing on her feet or the way she squealed about each element of the plan. Despite the immense amount of pride Bea has for this, she felt sad. She wished she had Tom to message about the trip. She always loved when the two of them sat down and chilled and just talked about any trip.

The actress, in all honesty, don’t have many friends outside of the acting world. In fact, out of all of Logan’s close friends – she’s only really close to Valerie, Marie, and Jenna. Those three are also some of her closest friends. The others? She met time to time but they all either focused too much on her being famous or didn’t really get along with her.

As a result, whenever they moved seats to talk to anyone else – she was left alone. Which, she was alright with, but she just wished Tom was there. The two times she was out of Los Angeles with Tom were when they first me. But she knew Tom – he’s so adventurous and willing to try everything. She imagined the humorous or entertaining commentary he’d made if he was here, the stories he’d tell, the things he’d do.

In fact, she felt super outcasted throughout this whole trip. It probably doesn’t help that she started drowning out what everyone but the tour guide or Logan was saying, but it was her natural instinct. If she ever drowned out, her close friends or family’s voices were able to bring her out of it. Everyone was so close and didn’t have to worry about being spotted – they could do anything. They were having so much fun and they were so close. Bea wished she was able to have gotten to know more people outside of Hollywood other than those three and their boyfriends. Bea wished she had more of a normal childhood. But then again, she can’t imagine herself doing anything else. This was the job she loved to do. This allowed her to help people and raise awareness. She’s bringing joy. That’s why I’m doing this, she reminded herself.

New Orleans was gorgeous; from the stories of witchcraft and notable witchcraft figures. In fact, this was super helpful for her. Her next role is her first extremely complex witch character that the audience will not be able to tell is evil or good and is also a romantic interest at the same time.

It’s for a film called ‘The River’, and it’s borderline romance and a bit of horror and a lot of witchcraft. There’s even a single musical number. Although there’s a lot of pieces, it fits together perfectly and is so cohesive and interesting.

“So this is our final destination!” The guide exclaimed as they reached a historic restaurant for dinner. “I have ordered you all a set meal according to the information Bea - I mean, Nina sent me,” Nina was Bea’s go-to alias when booking something more public. “And then your guide for the supernatural tour will meet you here.”

The dinner was amazing! Bea never had gumbo before and she wants more and more of it in her life. “Okay, so I want to make a cheers.” Bea grinned, grabbing the glass. “To Logan and William, the cutest – most revolting – and the best endgame couple I could think of. I can’t believe they’ve been dating since they were 16 and now they’re 24. Endlessly proud of you two.” She raised her glass to clink everyone elses, but Logan stopped them from the initial clink.

“Nope, nope, not yet done.” Logan made Bea sat down by putting her hand on Bea’s shoulder. “I want to thank you all for coming here and taking time of your busy schedules. I want to thank you all for your endless support and love throughout my life and throughout the wedding process. In particular, I want to thank Bea who has been with me and William through every step of the wedding planning and through every stage of our relationship.” Logan started chuckling to herself, “Did you know Bea is somewhat responsible for our relationship?” Everyone furrowed her eyebrows. “The story you all know is I walked up to him at an amusement park because he was in the single riders lane too and then everything just clicked.” Everyone hummed, “but I wasn’t a single rider. Bea saw me ogle him so she pushed me in the single riders lane so I’d be with him and then acted like she didn’t know me as she stood right behind me.”

Bea’s face went red at the story of her being a terrible matchmaker with amazing results. “So, I really owe everything to Bea. From this awesome bachelorette party, to finding me the boy of my dreams, to getting me to where I am, to helping me grow as a person…” Bea stood up and wrapped her arms around her best friend.

“I’m supposed to give the sentimental speech.” Bea pouted, but speaking quietly enough below the ‘aws’ that only she could hear.

Logan gave her a sideways smile. “You never get appreciated by your family and friends. You always put others first. The only way you’re preached is from online and it’s constantly, sure, but they only get half of how fantastic you are.” Logan smiled as Bea teared up. The two of them talking in hushed voices so it’s only the two of them who can hear what’s happening. “You deserve to be appreciated more. And that said, go to Tom before it’s too late. He is the one guy who I’ve seen you be completely and thoroughly happy, even when nothing is good. Do it before we get back, or else this won’t be the best bachelorette party ever.” Bea smacked her, earning a laugh from the table. “OKAY!” She called back the attention, “Cheers!”

Later on in the night, the group were walking around the chilly town – clutching onto their coats in the chilly wind as they investigate the voodoo, witch, and supernatural subculture of New Orleans with the guide. Until….

“Oh my GOD! A fortune teller!” Logan squealed, now drunk off her ass as the guide has supplied them with multiple bar stops – which Bea had just decided to drink water. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god hello how much?”

“25 dollars.” The old lady under the cloack almost croaked

That’s a rip off. Bea thought in her head, but allowed Logan to do it anyway – it’s her party.

“Hello can I buy two pliz?” Logan slurred.

Immediately, she gave her a 50 dollar bill and sat down on the floor in front of her – dragging Bea to sit with her. “I bought it for you.” She said in a whispery voice that was way too loud to be a whisper.

“Love life, work life, personal life, or general?”

“Can we do alllll?” Logan sang, “I’m getting married sooooon.”

The lady seemed to want Logan out of the seat as soon as possible, so she agreed. Logan was told the most basic things – she’ll prosper, she’ll have an amazing wedding and live a lifetime of happiness, she’ll have three kids, and she’ll be happy. Logan then stood up and stood behind Bea.

When it was Bea’s turn, Logan screamed from her place behind her. “Can you predict her love life please?!”

Bea rolled her eyes, turning to look up at Logan who only smirked. “Love is a complicated thing for you, isn’t it?” The lady closed her eyes, as if conjuring old spirits and started chanting – the same thing she did with Logan. We couldn’t have done a more legit one? Bea thought, turning to the guide who was only laughing her ass off. Despite not believing a word she was saying, her mind visualised Noah and Tom back at the premiere. “I reckon you’ll experience some downfalls and some errors, but you have to change your attitude and work. You have to be the first one sometimes.”

Saying the first one made her ears pop. Just a lucky guess, she thought. Once the telling was done, Bea went away with the moral of ‘don’t trust street fortune tellers’. Logan, on the other hand, was so excited and wanted to do another one.

“Okay, so now that we got that over with.” The guide was chuckling, knowing Logan ignored her protests to find a better fortune teller. “We’ll be heading to a voodoo lair. Voodoo is a religion that believes in the balance of light and dark…”

Their night ended at 4am, but instead of heading right to sleep - everyone was giggling as they brought their mattresses to the living room, creating a floor of beds. “I feel like a school girl on a sleepover.” Valerie cackled as she fell into the middle of the mattresses, “Oh my God, you whore!” She did her best high-pitched accent, that came out more as a valley girl voice.

“I can NOT believe it!” Bea followed her lead. “Kyle said he LIKE-LIKES ME! Not YOU!”

Valerie grabbed a pillow, throwing it straight at Bea’s head who jokingly dropped her jaw in offense. “Mhm, oh no you didn’t!” She retorted before accidentally hitting Logan in the face with the very same pillow.

It led to a pillow fight; everyone hitting each other in an attempt to get them to fall over and fall down. Until they all did and (almost) all fell asleep; most of them finally getting hit by the alcohol’s depressive characteristic.

And Bea was left thinking about Tom. I asked for some sort of sign…that might’ve been it. She closed her eyes, I’ll do it tomorrow.

Bea opened up her phone as she sat down on a fold out wooden chair on the balcony, having an important work call concerning her role in Stranger Things season 3. She would’ve opted for the kitchen, but the thirteen girls were drinking cold coffee to get over their hangovers. But while waiting for the Facebook messaging saying the producer is ready to call, Bea decided to search for Tom’s profile to message him; only to find that she accidentally searched his name rather than his profile. As a result, she was greeted by millions of articles claiming to have seen Tom and Zendaya kissing, to have seen them on a date, to see Tom meet her parents.

Bea’s heart dropped.

Yes – this could just be a speculation. Hell, it happened all the time when Noah and Bea was dating or when Bea and Tom were…whatever they were. She remembers Zendaya shipping the two of them together, and Zendaya saying she thought of Tom as a younger brother. Zendaya was Bea’s best friend after spending all that time with Tom and her during filming. The two talk almost every day – so wouldn’t have Zendaya told her about the relationship? But Zendaya loves her privacy with romance because like Bea, she didn’t have the best track record. Additionally, maybe Z was scared to tell her – knowing Bea was head over heels in love with Tom (Z, of course, didn’t know Bea was still this way).

So maybe it was real. Something about it felt so real about it this. They weren’t doing any particular promo, so it’s not publicity. It was random and that made it feel real. Bea felt her window to happiness has closed, her last chance gone. She felt heavy; she felt that as soon as she stood up, she’ll only collapse. She felt light headed. Her heart felt like it was weighing down her whole body. She felt her legs go numb and her heart swell. Fuck was the only thing running through her head.

And maybe what she had with Noah was real. It was definitely a real relationship, but maybe he was really the one for her. Maybe Tom actually only wanted her when she was taken, when she was something he couldn’t have -- Noah loved her nevertheless. Maybe I should message Noah. Maybe everyone was wrong; maybe she was happier with Noah, but a different type of happy.

Thoughts and thoughts doubting Tom’s intentions when he called, suddenly hyping up Noah came to be.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping!” One of Logan’s friends, Kelsey, popped her head out the window. Last night, she stopped feeling like an outcast – all of them bonding on that supernatural tour and through the long talk after the pillow fight. But now all she wanted to do was be an outcast. That way she doesn’t have to speak.

She’s scared that once she opens her mouth, everything will come spilling out.

Maybe Noah and her were endgame and Tom was just a distraction. But Bea knew if she’d call Noah in the heat of the moment, she’d only hurt him more.

Maybe it’s better if I’m lonely.

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fallback - chapter six

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chapter six: burnout

the story was previously called untitled

please feel free to message me for any feedback / any request for extras of this series / anything you want to see in future chapters / to be apart of the taglist (these messages really inspire me to write and mean a lot to me :-) )

She never had to do this before, at least not in this way.

Colin cheated on her and he’s her only real relationship besides Tom and Noah. Tom had walked out on her. Noah, well – this is what’s happening now. The other relationships beside the three were small hook-ups that took her each a month to get over but they all ended the same way; just the sudden stop of messaging each other. No matter what, Bea took at least two months getting over each and every single of them – Tom was the exception.

Noah and Bea equally despise confrontation, and as a result – the couple only had one in-person fight. It helps that Noah has a deep love for affection and hatred for tension, so while the couple argue online – they tend to leave their worries online. This was a red flag for both of them. Noah had always dated people who would lead the confrontation and Bea had Tom, who literally called it out as he saw it and who she felt comfortable with doing the same.

How does one break up with someone? Bea had probably scribbled a thousand of ideas into her notebook, even having googled it on her phone and her laptop. How does one break up with someone and still remain friends?

She couldn’t use the clichés; ‘it’s not you, it’s me!’ or ‘I think we’re better as friends’ – even as true as they are. It’ll just hurt more – resorting to the words of media rather than from the heart.

The café was cute and sweet, and out of the way of the public eye. It was full of pastels and it was their favorite place to go in the mornings, especially when Bea was on her hiatus. They’d go on a walk with Winnie after Noah’s hike and Bea’s workout, grab a smoothie and a small pastry, and then sit down and talk. It was their morning routine.

Maybe I did love him, Bea thought as she looked back at the memories. It was as if all their online arguments, their conflicts, their mishaps, or their unaligned pieces never existed. It was like a supercut of their highlight reel. Is this how hard it’s going to be? Never did she thought of Noah like this. Her heart was dropping when she thought of how it was going to be.

Bea remembered their first date. He asked her out of her birthday, after noticing Tom wasn’t there. He always suspected something was going on between them when he’d see Tom drop Bea off at set or see her Instagram stories, and considering Tom was in LA but not at the birthday bash Logan hosted – Noah knew nothing was going on. She told him to do something small, nothing expensive, and something just the two of them. So that’s what he did.

October 21 2016

“I’m just saying, if I had to kill somebody, it’d be him.” Noah randomly stated, pointing at a figure in a painting out of nowhere. The joke made Bea burst out laughing. This could work, she thought, considering the date fantastic as the smile on her face didn’t leave once.

Her forehead went to rest on his shoulder, “Why is that your first thought?”

“He looked sketch.” Noah muttered, wrapping his arms around the girl leaning into him. “Can’t let him hurt you.” He kissed the top of her head.

The museum was practically empty, being a cheap and run-down museum, no one wanted to go to. It only cost three dollars to go to the more private sections of the museum. Noah knew this place like the back of his hand whilst Bea has never been in this part of town.

When walking to the next painting, Bea’s stomach growled, practically shaking the whole building. If it was even just a little bit building, the cheap museum may have even fell into itself. Her cheeks flushed and her hands flew to her mouth out of embarrassment. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Noah leant back, laughing his ass off whilst Bea sheepishly chuckled.

“That was the cutest stomach growling I ever heard.” He complimented once he finished his outburst, walking towards Bea and wrapping his arms around her torso. “C’mon, I know the best diner nearby.”

“But we haven’t finish!” Bea teasingly pouted, “It’s a waste of one and a half dollars!”

Noah chuckled, interrupting Bea’s humorous protests by kneeling and wrapping his arms around her waist – throwing her over his shoulder, making her squeal and the sleeping ticket booth lady wake up, before falling asleep again. Bea didn’t know this at the time, but Noah would do this almost everyday – when at the beach, or the pool, or when Bea got too stubborn. Each time made butterflies explode in her stomach.

Once Bea was sat down in Noah’s car and Noah made his way to his own seat, he placed his hand on her knee and started the car. “The diner is somewhere my dad used to take me whenever we were in LA. They have the best burgers.”

“I’m upset.” Bea pouted, looking back at the museum. “I really loved their exhibit on Los Angeles cement. They might’ve had an exhibit on different types of plastics!” Noah rolled his eyes, grinning.

“You’ll love these burgers a lot more.”

After a ten-minute car ride of stupid jokes and smaller public displays of affection, they ended up at the bright diner – filled with movie posters, people, and even small statuettes. “Wait, I’ll ask Moira for the private booth. I want you all to myself.” He teased, noticing the amount of people who already slowed down by his car to see if it was actually Bea Downey-Parker. She gave him a tight-lipped smile and nod.

After a few minutes, Noah came back out and helped sneak Bea in from the back. The two found a private booth in the back of the store, away from the looks of the public. “What do you recommend?”

“Milkshakes and burgers, for sure.” Noah grinned, “Wanna split a banana split at the end?”

“I’d love to.”

At the end of the night, their two faces were covered – due to either the messy element of eating of iceam or the mini foodfight they had – in vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate ice cream. “You have something…” Noah muttered, leaning in so he’d be centimeters apart. “Right there.” He pressed his lips against hers, making her chuckle and smile against his lips.

“Taste chocolate-y.”

Bea felt a few tears slip out her eyes as she thought of what she was going to do. As much as she hated it, she’s going to miss him wrapping his arms around her and going to miss the feeling of his kiss on her lips. However, it’s not right. She cannot hold onto him just because she’ll miss elements of him. He’s not being appreciated the way he should. It’s like how Logan explained her wedding dress fittings; ‘it’s beautiful but it’s not me’.

And Logan was right – Bea was playing him. Noah was this fantastic guy who was just not made for her. In fact, she’s playing with his emotions with even toying with the idea that he was. She felt disgusted with herself. She hated it. If anyone did this to her, she would have the hardest time forgiving him.

Noah came into the shop; his signature red sweater Bea has worn about a million times and black jeans. His charming smile was on display as soon as he saw Bea waiting for him with his usual smoothie order and the pastries. His smile disappeared as soon as he realized her order was not there and tears were falling from her eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” He repeated, “what’s wrong?” He rushed to the seat beside her.

Bea took a deep breath in as she looked into his puppy dog brown eyes. “You met me at a very strange time in my life.” She muttered, “I thank you so much for dealing with me through that and I really thank you for sticking by me, but you deserve better than me.” Sje wiped a few tears away. Noah was speechless. “I didn’t appreciate you the way you should be. You were the best boyfriend and a fantastic person but we’re not made for each other. Someone else out there is someone for you. It’s been an honor having you in my life, and I don’t want you to leave. I love you so, so, so much. But I don’t know if that is worth it, I don’t think my love is what you deserve. You deserve far better. Especially since I don’t know if you’re the only one I love. In fact, I think I love you so much as a friend and I never want to stop talking to you.”

Noah, yes, was shocked, but he had a feeling this was coming. Bea has been more distant since January. But she was distant immediately after the honeymoon phrase. “You love Tom, right?” He muttered. He didn’t feel a sense of hatred, but a sense of sadness. He loved her and he had a feeling he always will, but like she said – he knows he deserves someone who loves him as much as he loves them.

Bea nodded, scrunching her eyebrows slightly in confusion about how he knows, but she didn’t care now. She cared about how he was feeling. “Did you ever love me, for real?”

“Of course.” Bea said in disbelief. She did love him, she may not have realized it until recently, but Noah was important to her in her growth and was someone she loved for a long period of time. “I hope we can remain friends.”

“Well, I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness.” Noah sighed, “I’m devastated, but I love you too much to keep you in a relationship you’re not sure of. And you are right. I deserve someone who is sure they love me as much as I love them.” Noah brushed past the shell shock and looked up at her, smiling softly. “But I’d always want to be your friend. Look - I know you didn’t truly love me as much as I loved you,” Noah sighed, “but I had the best year of my life with you and I thank you so much. I never thought I’d ever date my celebrity crush. And I never thought I’d be even friends with someone so fantastic like you.” He said appreciatively. “Now, if you want - I’ll get you a smoothie and your pastry and we can have one last romantic date. If that’s okay with you.”

Bea chuckled, “I’d love that.”

“And then after,” Bea sadly chuckled, “go to Tom.” Noah sadly sacrificed his own heart for Bea’s. “I saw the way he looked at you at the premiere and I knew about your past.” Bea’s eyes scrunched in confusion. “I legit saw him kiss you on set, I knew you two were a thing.” Bea chuckled, wiping away her tears. “Go be happy. And I’ll pack my things and get out by tomorrow.”

“You know where to stay if you’re ever in the area, okay?” Noah chuckled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You can stay much longer than just tomorrow, just maybe a separate room.”

“Always.” Noah chuckled, “and yeah, filming doesn’t start until next week. I’ll leave by then.” Bea chuckled.

Once both of them laughed after reminiscing over their old memories, that now had their own dream-like haze around them – signifying that it’s now the past. Noah glanced at Bea one last time, smirking – like the best love interest in any romantic film. “Goodbye kiss?” Bea chuckled, nodding and leaning in to press her lips against his.

“I hope you have all the success in the future and all the happiness.” Bea sighed, standing up from her seat. “You deserve it.” Noah squeezed her hand once more and let her go. It won’t ever be the last time they saw each other, but it’s the last time they saw each other with this light

Outside the quaint café, Bea typed up a quick Facebook message about a topic long-forgotten to a conversation that had varied much.

Facebook message to Kevin Fiege: Hey Kev! So sorry for switching topics again, but if the offer for Gwen Stacy is still up – I’d love to take it.

The response was immediate; after all, he was in LA.

Facebook message from Kevin Fiege: FINALLY! I’ll send all the information to your business email and Mary… thank you so much and can’t wait to formally work with you :P Also the information contains spoilers for the next bunch of movies – pls don’t tell spoiler man, I know you two are close.

With that message, Bea - despite the pang in her heart at the last comment - grinned at the sky and went home to pack some of her own things. She wants to let Noah have time away from her, as she mentioned ot him before, so she’ll be staying with William and Logan and assist with any final wedding arrangements.

The day felt odd. It felt melancholy, sure, but the overall feel is new, revitalizing. It’s a new chapter of her life and she’s going to make it the best one yet.

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@charismas-world @athermosofsad

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - chapter five

series masterlist

chapter five: awakened

The sunlight crept in from the curtains, shining on them and reminding her it’s a new year. Suddenly, the light felt revitalizing and awakening – the New Year genuinely felt new, even if she had only slept for three hours.

While rubbing her palms over her eyes, trying to rub out the sleepy daze from her body; she attributed this refreshed feeling to Winnie, to her new lifestyle regime, and to the fact that she hasn’t thought of Tom the whole night, even in her dreams – so maybe she’s newly and deeply in love with Noah.

Ignoring the smell of alcohol, Bea rolled over so she’d be planking over the sleeping man. Bea pressed her lips against Noah’s forehead to wake him up gently. “I need to feed Winnie and then I’m taking her on a hike.” His eyes fluttered open, “Come with me?”

Noah lifted his heads upwards with a grin, pressing his lips against hers. All his own doubts of the relationship seemed to dissipate – this is the first time Bea asked him to go on a hike rather than vice versa. Bea has always spoken about she likes for thinking time, and that needed to be alone. Noah was always understanding. “Of course.” He grinned with a shit-eating grin, “I thought you’d never ask.”

The girl slapped her boyfriend in a joking manner. “Wipe that smile off your face.” She fell back so she’d sit on the bottom of her feet, “I’ll pour the water bottles, can you get the bags and Winnie’s Sherpa backpack?” Noah nodded, eyes still heavy with sleep.

Bea ignored that fact and instead made her way downstairs, letting Winnie follow her down. “Hey pretty girl,” She smiled, pouring the dog food into the bowl before Winnie pounced on the food.

One of Bea’s rules is that her personal phone remains downstairs at night. Her work phone is allowed upstairs, but must be on do not disturb with exceptions for some people (such as her agent). She saw a red notification on her lock screen.

Snapchat from tomholland1996

Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe even two.

It was like that one notification was an on switch and all the feelings came flooding back. She even had to grip the table to prevent her knees from giving out on her. She felt like a school girl who just messaged their crush.

Opening up her phone, she clicked on the notification. In the blurry and grainy video, she saw Tom’s face – clearly intoxicated. His hair was a mess, his eyes were bloodshot, and his shirt was discarded into the corner – something she saw in the video. Harrison was also in the video, chasing after Tom before he locked the door.

She noticed that the first time she opened the notification, she was caught up staring at his eyes – at how cute he was with his red face – at his lopsided smile. Bea panicked – quickly holding onto the notification to replay it, now ashamed that Tom will receive the news she watched it twice. Bea wishes she was there, wanting to take care of him and not fully trusting Harrison in taking care of him. She desired to ensure she drank the tea he always drank when he was feeling unwell, to leave the pain medication in the bed beside him and ensure he drinks it before sleeping, to prepare the best anti-hangover meal on the dining table for breakfast.

“Hey darli-Bea,” Tom burped out, and Bea could hear Haz behind the door, knocking loudly and viciously – screaming at him to go to bed. “Hehehehe, I should probably listen to him but I…I really don’t want to… I miss youuuu” He sang. “I wantchu here, beside me, right there.” He pointed at the floor as he blabbered. “I reallllly don’t know what I’d do without you but I want to wich you a happy new yur but my year won’t be so happy witchout you,” He started giggling, aimlessly staring around the room, “I miss how you crinkle your nose at the smell of alcol or even flinch or how you scunch up your eyes when you trying to remember sumting and honest everything aboot you. I’m not me widj out you. I love you” Suddenly the door opened once more, “NOOOO!” He screamed, “Harrisonnnnn! Pass it backkkk.” Harrison left the bathroom with the phone and rested his back against the door, blocking Tom.

“Hey Bea,” Bea noticed Haz wasn’t as drunk. “I need to be a better sober…well, semi-sober friend. You were always the best with him.” He teased, “Happy New Year! Tom got wasted, I’m sorry – you know he’s never usually like this. Call this Sunday instead of our usual Tuesday? I have a possible date.”

And that marks the end of her new day.

But the day was only beginning. “Hey Noah!” Bea called, hearing a light thump from her room. “I’ll actually go on a walk, do you think you can take Winnie for that hike?”

Noah shout out a small and disappointed approval, before Bea ran out the door – leaving the water bottles at the table, empty.

She took her car and found herself aimlessly driving around, until she was at a home not far away, but still quite a bit away from her own. It was early, she knows. She’s never up this early, she knows that much too. But William had an important case today and Logan always, and Bea means always, cooks a special breakfast on the morning of a crucial day.

She was right. The door opened to a grumpy, yet very much awake, Logan. “I need to hear you. I cannot put up with this anymore but I really need to tell you something or else I might go insane.”

Logan sighed, opening up the door to her maid of honor. Bea had done this countless times for her, Logan is not only obligated as her best friend – but she cares about her and wants to make sure she is okay. “Good morning to you too.” She said with snark. Logan was in no way a morning person – it’s why she picked a job with such flexible hours.

She made her way immediately to her couch, falling into position as if she was the classic therapy patient in film – despite the fact that it never happens in real life unless she is sleep deprived. “I’d show you a video, but I can’t so…” Bea started to explain everything; the full story of how they broke up, how she moved on too fast, how she has been thinking of Tom every day, how he kissed her at the premiere, how she was offered the Gwen Stacy role, how she has been dreaming of him every night, and how this exact message only reawakened her love for the British boy. She didn’t realize that Logan has noticed the small telltale signs of Bea lying through her feelings all this time.

Logan was just nodding throughout her ramble. Bea has reached her burnout. When Bea cannot handle her feelings, it all comes out as words strung along in sentences that seem useless – something that only Logan can decipher.

Once Bea shut her mouth and tears started falling from her eyes, Logan took over. “I know you don’t like big confrontations or interventions, so I’ll do what Tom always did. I’m going to call it out as I have saw it. And I’m just asking you to listen.”

And then Logan went off.

“Bea, I never hated Noah. I don’t think it’s possible to hate Noah.” She started, remembering the first time she met Noah and instantly fell in love with his charms. “I hate what he is to you and what he has made you do and what me made you.” Bea furrowed her eyebrows. “My God girl! Did you not hear what you just told me? You’re playing him.” The realization of what she was doing hit her just as hard as if Logan had slapped her. “You are not cheating on him, I mean, maybe a little. But you’re playing him. You were too busy being Tom’s to be his. You were too busy loving Tom to ever love someone else, in this case Noah. He’s a rebound, and an unsuccessful one at that.”

“Do you know how I knew William was the one?” She asked, making Bea shake her head. “Remember he was finishing his law degree abroad. I haven’t seen him in a year, and literally every second I spent wondering what would life be like, what would the situation be like if he was with me. I noticed I have never smiled as much as I did when I was with him. I noticed all these small nuances about myself and strived to make myself better, for him.” Logan stumbled, “Do you not realize this is how you talk about Tom?” Bea’s face remained empty. “You love him. You never stopped.”

“Now, if you love Noah – if you even love him like you did before you started dating, if you love him like you loved him as a friend – you’d stop pulling on his heart strings and let him go. You’d call Tom and tell him you love him because we both know he loves and misses you. Do the right thing.”

Logan paused once more. “Do it before he finds someone else. If he finds someone else. But he may not wait around for you forever. Yes, you two are made for each other. But not everyone who is made for each other actually stays or ends up together.”

Bea burst out in tears. She thought of the one she loved. The face she trained herself to see – Noah’s – slowly became Tom’s. Afterall, she was ‘in love’ with Noah’s puppy dog eyes when really, she just saw Tom’s in them. She was ‘in love’ with the smile that’d light up his whole face, just like Tom’s. She was ‘in love’ with Noah’s effort, which was no way as extensive as Tom’s. She thought of everything she loved about Noah and realized that Tom executed the same trait, but in her eyes – more than Noah did.

“I thought I could learn to love him, y’know?” Bea explained, “I loved him so much and we became so close and I dind’t want to reject his date offer and he was obvious about his crush on me and I thought I could learn.” She cried into her shoulder. “It’s Noah! The most lovable guy I know.”

Logan smirked sadly, “Exactly. He’s Noah. He’s not Tom Holland.”

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - chapter four

series masterlist

chapter four: our forever this december (december 2017)

the story was previously called untitled

in honor of me getting the results i needed for my dream uni, i rlly wanted to post this today (but it may also be rushed, so i apologise -- i’ve been struggling on this chapter for a few days now and just kinda gave up on writing it and writing it and writing it over and over again +++ the next few chapters are some of my favorite things i wrote)

Four months.

It’s been four months since Tom has kissed her. It’s been four months of radio silence – no small talk or polite congratulations like before, even when Bea posted news of her rescued, therapy dog named Winnie (short for Winston) however Logan received congratulations when she posted news for her newly adopted retriever (named Gracie). Winnie, not only recommended by her therapist, was technically a maid of honor gift from Logan, who paid the adoption fees and the initial supply of food.

With that in mind, it’s been four months of Bea spending the days with Noah and the nights dreaming of Tom.

Since August, Bea and Noah were inseparable due to being press partners for the last leg of the promotional tour in South-East Asia. South-East Asia was beautiful – even Winnie loved the adventure – but Bea needed to keep busy, she needed space from Noah. It was her coping mechanism.

It’s like this anecdote she told her therapist; working kept her driving, but once she stops – she has to go back and make sure nothing in the back seat or trunk broke. With that in mind, if she is driving full speed (which she is now doing), then the sudden of stop will only bolt the suitcases at the driver seat.

In this case, driving prevented her from observing and noticing her personal doubts outside the window; which happen to be the doubts about her and Noah’s relationship, which only hammers into her head every time she has a free moment to think about Tom.

Unfortunately, she dreamt of Tom every night. These dreams only became toxic for her everyday life. In particular, when Noah received news that he’ll be playing Peter Kavinsky in Netflix’s new film called ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’, Bea tried to do something special for him.

To all the boys I loved before, she scribbled onto a gift card, you’ll never be as fantastic as the man I have today. Writing that felt like a lie. She felt spiders crawl underneath her skin, crawling up to her head until she ripped the gift card apart. She knew a similar letter that would only be speaking truth; to the man I loved before, I can’t stop loving you.

The dreams could be reminiscent of nightmares; flashing close-ups of Tom and all the things she love about him, a hazy – dream like quality that seemed to be old tape on film, a new magical location, him repeatedly exclaiming ‘I love you’ – the three words she always wanted to hear him say but had to leave when he actually had the guts to say it.

She was sprinting down an imaginary mall – Tom beside her as they challenged each other to be the first one outside to the amusement park right outside. “You fucking rascal!” Tom called, laughing as he tripped her. Due to being a dream, Bea landed straight in his arms – laughing her head off. “Yeah, that’s what you get for getting a head start, you cheat.” Tom pressed his lips against hers.

Cheating. Could this be considered infidelity? Sure, this is happening in her imaginative world – but this is emotional cheating, isn’t it? Bea was conflicted. She loved Noah – definitely not in the way she loved Tom – but she loved him and didn’t want to hurt him in any way. But she know she already has.

December has been marked by Bea’s agents as her hiatus month. They, specifically her main agent named Mary, had completely banned her from doing any projects or wedding planning to prevent her eventual, future burnout. This has been her busiest years yet; she has literally not spent more than a week at home or not working in the last two weeks.

Due to this forced hiatus, Bea found different ways to cope. In particular, she finally went back to her therapist in regard to her anxiety and minor depression. She started going to therapy after her parents passed away in an unfortunate circumstance, causing her to have PTSD. Eventually, the PTSD did get better over time and she has no trace of it anymore, but she has been a celebrity and a household name since she was a child. All her mistakes and all her experiences were under a magnifying glass by the media, under endless speculation and criticism. As years passed, she learnt coping methods like breathing techniques and took medication – the anxiety and depression had decreased in severity and now she goes to therapy to keep everything under check, prevent burnout, and to talk about anything bothering her (especially since she feels like she can’t talk to anyone else). But she hasn’t had time to go until the hiatus.

But this time Dr Ishani can sense something different; Bea is holding something back. But Dr Ishani cannot push. But when they did push on December 8, the therapist only recommended that Bea ‘spend time alone’ to ‘work through her thoughts’ due to the fact she was still holding back.

Her body was practically begging to work, aching to be hunched over a script – highlighting her lights and noting down character development. She was itching to be learning a new skill for a movie or to be training for some insane stunt. So, when she stopped going to therapy, she started going to the gym – finally switching her gym facility because the constant memories of Tom and her training together. Eventually, the mere action of punching a boxing bag caused her to give up and go swimming instead.

Swimming was her simpler way of coping – something her parents (and later her uncle) used to take her to do during stressful times or celebratory times in order to calm her down.

“Hey hot stuff,” Her boyfriend catcalled, “mind if we join you?” Bea popped her head out of the water once she reached the edge of the pool, terminating her series of laps. Brushing her hair out of her face, she sees Noah in a pair of trunks and Winnie in her life vest.

“Not at all.” She grinned, pushing herself off the wall as an invitation for them to jump in where she previously was. “How you doing?”

Instead of responding, Noah let out a sigh as he submerged himself into the cold water pool. “It’s so nice to see you relaxed.”

Bea chuckled, submerging herself further in the pool to force her to swim towards Noah rather than swim. “Just praising the fact that Los Angeles doesn’t get cold.” Just as Noah was crouching down to peck her lips, a plop from Winnie jumping into the pool stole Bea’s attention.

The actress jumped to her feet, walking over to her pup who now smells like wet dog.

“Is she coming with us to Miami?” Bea was almost offended by the question, playfully splashing water at Noah.

She held the soaked dog next to her face, Winnie peppering kisses on her face as she spoke. “The reason I got a smaller dog, was not only because she’s cute, but because she can travel with me. I did so much research into the Havanese, and they’re so good for travelling – so of course.”

Noah kneeled down in an attempt to submerge himself further into the water. “So, we’re gonna see Logan and William tomorrow before flying out to Miami for Christmas, New York for the few days after, and then back here for the New Years Eve party?”

“First of all, ew Florida.” Bea teased, earning herself a splash of water in his face. “Second of all, all correct. Thirdly, and finally, ew we’re going to be on and off planes so much in such a short period of time.”

The brown-haired boy became bewildered, “Bruh,” He breathed out, “you’re literally flying all the time anyway.” She could attribute this disgust for flying, which replaced her usual love for travelling, due to meeting Noah’s family for the first time.

Bea rolled her eyes, before wrapping her arms around his neck. She took him by surprise, jumping on his knees – making them both fall into the water, laughing.

This whole month felt like it was lasting forever; Bea, although right now hating the thought of flying, cannot wait to actually do something that itches her need to do something new or do something that is reminiscent of her work. She did her best at forgetting about her doubts; gymming, swimming, talking to Logan every day, making sure Noah is constantly with her – but Tom always comes back to her.

The next day, Ray – Bea’s personal security guard and close friend - went to Bea’s two bedroom home and picked up the suitcases while they were out with Logan and William.

“Okay, so the New Years bash – I made you a dress.” Logan enthused, “so you better come to my place before you go to their’s.”

The New Years bash is one of the most celebrated events in Los Angeles, surrounded by paparazzi and has a guest list for ages. This will be Logan’s first time attending and she’s, what she calls, ‘crazy excited’ for the event while Bea – Bea is excited for the moment her head hits the pillow when she gets back.

“Babe,” She smiled, “you didn’t have to.” Bea, sure – didn’t want to go, but she’s going for Logan. She hasn’t seen Logan this excited since William has proposed. Since then, she’s been busy wedding planning or spending hours making up for her future honeymoon time for her boss. It’s the reason she hasn’t been joining her for the ‘Titans’ press tour or even the filming.

Noah looked over to William, “Are you coming too?”

William gave a soft smile, knowing that Noah and him only met a few months ago. “Nah, if any photos come out of me in a party like that, I may lose credibility as a lawyer.” He noted, “Plus, I’m much more of a homebody. Logan is magnetized to homebodies and tries her best to drag them out.”

Logan rolled her eyes at the comment. “It’s not my fault you two hate parties.”

William and Bea gave each other a ‘this is bullshit’ look, before bursting out laughing because of an inside joke between the two. The joke concerns Logan’s craziness when drunk which only further repels them from attending.

“Oh shut up, you two.” Logan quickly switched the conversation, “So, Miami – you excited?”

Noah smirked, “I’m so excited for her to meet my family.” Bea’s face, although nodding, was showing her obvious tell towards Logan and Logan made a mental note to ask her about it when she got back. “Taylor was her biggest fan at one point.”

Bea gave out a half-hearted chuckle. She didn’t want to meet his family. She didn’t want to push anything. Yes, they’ve been dating for a year; an anniversary they celebrated just last week with a replica of their first date, but everything was moving too fast for her.

Maybe I moved on too fast, she told herself – even if she knew she ‘moved on’ too fast. But then again, she questioned if she can even use the phrase move on.

“So, wedding – “ Bea changed topics after half-heartedly agreeing with Noah, which Logan can see her nibbling on her bottom lip. Bea can lie effortlessly – after all, she’s an actress. But when she’s not acting or not assigned to play with a false story or technically not true story, she’s nibbling on her bottom lip. Bea’s uncle actually pointed it out to Logan after Bea stopped going to therapy and he didn’t believe she was alright “Your mom and dad had emailed me about your registry. Are you sure that’s everything on it? I don’t want to post it until everything is on it.”

Logan rolled her eyes. The two used to never switch topics out of what felt like nowhere. They used to hound each other until they opened up everything. This wasn’t the same Bea she knew a year ago.

After the conversation became more awkward and silent – two characteristics that never were applied to the trio’s or the duo’s old conversations, Bea called for the bill. “We should probably head out and g et to the airport and make sure everything’s good with Winnie.”

“Alright babe, have a safe flight and merry Christmas” Logan let her off. She made a mental note to talk to her about this when she gets back.

Bea suddenly remembered something she put in her bag. “Oh shit, thanks for reminding me.” Bea pulled out a gift for both William and Logan – a tradition that came out from living with Logan for what felt like forever. It was a his and hers gift. “Do not open it until Christmas or I’ll kill you both.” The two chuckled, before swearing on their lives.

Due to her uncle having moved to New York, Bea usually flies to New York for Christmas or the day after. That said, if she doesn’t fly to New York – she spends her Christmas with Logan, who usually opts out of Christmas with her boyfriend’s family due to their snobby outlook on her and can’t go celebrate with her family as they moved all the way to the Philippines a few years back. So Logan and Bea don’t visit them often and when they do – it’s over the summer for a sort of vacation. The duospend the morning having a small breakfast, they have a medium sized lunch with William, and then they let William off for Christmas dinner. Despite his family’s snobbish attitudes, since William and Logan are getting married, Logan has been obligated to go now. Despite Logan’s obvious hatred for them, William’s family makes her miss her parents and wonder what would’ve happened if they raised her.

---

The flight to Miami felt never ending.

The hostesses practically fawned over the two. This was the first time Bea rode a budget airlines in ages and it was just not professional. Like, yes, they’re fans – Bea loves talking to them. But they came over to her every ten seconds, offering some sort of drink, even if she had her sleeping mask on. At one point, Winnie even barked at them.

“I just hate being fawned over.” Bea mumbled as Noah laughed, pulling the shared luggage behind them as Bea sleepily hugged his other arm – Winnie walking on a leash in front of them, the leash tied around Bea’s wrist. “Like I’m just like them! I’m just a person who needs sleep. Oh God, sleep. Can we meet your family tomorrow in the morning rather than tonight? I’m so tired.” Bea whined, both wanting to push back meeting them whilst making up for sleep.

“Uh, try not getting awake from the flashes up ahead.” Noah pointed out to the big group of paparazzi who had formed outside.

Bea groaned, “How do they find out I’m travelling?” Noah chuckled, pulling out of Bea’s embrace and letting go of the suitcase to open his hand carry backpack and passing them both hats he packed for this occasional. “I love you.” Bea said appreciatively, slipping on the basketball cap and tilting it to hide her sleep deprived face. She didn’t want Tom to know she’s meeting his parents.

Leaning down, she picked up her dog – who gets quite anxious by the series of lights. She blocked out her view, holding her close in a hug and making sure Noah is right behind her, thus blocking Winnie’s eyes from direct flashes. “Protect our child!” Noah exclaimed, making the both of them chuckle – Bea more tired than him. “I would carry you like I normally do but…” He motioned to the suitcase, making her roll her eyes. As much as she pretended to hate being thrown over his shoulder, it was one of the ways he made her fall for him.

Noah managed to book an AirBnB a street away from his parents house. As soon as they got there – after Bea fed and walked Winnie - Bea passed out onto the bed from exhaustion whilst Noah quickly dropped by his parent’s house to explain why Bea isn’t currently there.

A figure and herself walked down a familiar-looking hotel hallway to a door number that has now been obscured. Being here felt like a memory, rather than a dream.

“Mum and Dad, this is Bea.” Tom’s voice. “Bea, this is my Mum and Dad.”

It started out like the memory, but quickly took a left turn.

“You’ll never be good enough for our son.” The twisted version of the sweetest woman alive said, her voice seeming to go through distortions. “He will walk out on you. He’ll never love you.”

When the twisted version of his hilarious father started opening his mouth, he pushed her instead. She fell back into another room, this time with Noah and his family – who were staring at her expectantly.

“Do you love me?” Noah’s voice was haunting, repeating itself over and over again.

“Do you love our son?” His parents demonically screamed, over and over again. Suddenly, she was surrounded by all of them – Tom, Nikki, Dom, Paddy, Harry, Sam, Taylor, and Noah’s parents until Bea fell down a hole, falling and falling and falling and

“Fuck me.” Bea panted, waking up from the nightmare in sweat. She looked down at herself and forgot she hasn’t changed since yesterday afternoon. She saw Noah beside her, almost cuddling into her. She saw the outside window and saw the sun retreating from darkness and back into the sky. Panting, Bea started trying to regulate her breath; and it happened as soon as she saw Winnie’s head pop up, turning slightly, as if detecting something was wrong.

Bea pat her lap, wanting to cuddle her puppy before she took a quick shower and made an attempt to look presentable. The puppy peppered her with kisses, despite her face marked with sweat. “I love you too.” She mumbled into the pup’s ear, only granting her more and more dog kisses. Lifting the Havanese dog up temporarily, she let Winston rest on her pillow before escaping to take a cold, cold shower.

----

The actress was nibbling on a snack she bought at the airport, meaning to eat it as a snack after meeting his family but the pack of m&ms quickly became her breakfast instead.

“Good morning candy-girl.” A voice pulled Bea out of her thoughts and her anxious nibbling. “How was your sleep?”

Bea smiled, “Okay. How was yours? Happy to see your family?”

“They’re ecstatic to meet you.” He grinned with his signature smile. “I told them to expect us for dinner because you’ve never properly been around Miami.” Bea praised the lord that the meeting was pushed up once more.

So that’s what they did – Bea, Winnie, and Noah explored Miami, from all the crooks and crannies that Noah found as a child or his favorite places to visit. Bea loved this more than any tourist tour – she loved knowing what a local felt like or trying her best to understand the footprint as it is, without the shoe’s print that the media creates for them.

Eventually, the sun went down, telling the group to make their way to their family’s house for the Christmas eve dinner.

The whole dinner, Taylor spent the whole time fawning over a celebrity she and her friends idolized for years whilst her parents were trying their best to catch up with their son and get to know his girlfriend. However, Bea was obviously feeling awkward and like she didn’t belong.

Eventually, the dinner was over.

“So, sorry if this is insensitive, but do you personally celebrate Christmas?” His mother asked Bea as she approached the older woman at the kitchen with the dirty dishes.

Bea had a hard time explaining this constantly. “In a way I suppose. I mean, I’m not religiously catholic or Christian. In fact, I’m actually an agnostic.” She started, going to the drying station of the kitchen, “but my uncle raised me whilst learning different beliefs. I’m pretty sure one year we followed Buddhist beliefs, and another year we followed Jewish beliefs due to our ancestors, but my Aunt Susan and my father celebrated Christmas – so my uncle and my mother would always make sure Christmas was the one tradition we never forgot about. Easter, meh. But Christmas, Christmas was the real holiday.” She smiled, “It’s not a religious celebration for me, but a celebration to appreciate family and friends and those who love you.”

Noah smiled at the answer, watching her from his place sat on the counter – thankful she decided to celebrate it with them. “She always gives her best friend a gift – and last year, when we were working together during December for Titans, she gave every crew member and cast member a gift – either a letter or a small gift or a big gift. It was always meaningful and relevant to her relationship with them though.”

So I’m a family magnet, that’s good news. She thought to herself.

She was in Miami for five days, the last day being Christmas yet every day felt longer than the day before. December really felt like forever.

Finally, she was in her New York studio she bought purely so she won’t ever bother her uncle whenever she visits in NY. It was no way near the Hamptons, but it was in Manhattan and she easily can get to the Hamptons. This was also because she knows her old bedroom doubles as the kid’s playroom and she doesn’t want to interfere with their playing.

Unfortunately, they’d only be in New York for just slightly over two days. Noah wanted to get back to Los Angeles as soon as possible and prioritized his own family. Which was fair, in Bea’s eyes. She just wishes she spent more time with her uncle, her sibling-like cousins, and her aunt.

The first night – the family had dinner. Noah was obviously comfortable with everyone, playing with the kids whilst Susan, Robert, and Bea caught up. But Robert asked Noah if he could steal his niece away the next day for a day out, something they used to do once every month. Luckily, Noah had planned to meet his co-star Lana the same day.

They did what they usually did; a breakfast of cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery. Then they went to an arcade, walked around the streets and did whatever came to mind, got a hotdog and soft serve at central park for lunch, and then visit an old theater. After the old theater, they go home and binge action movies until theyf all asleep.

Everything was the usual (not including the presence of the barking dog who ran in front of her with a bounce in her step, excited to experience a new city); the two spoke about what’s going on, feelings, any movies they’re excited to be working on or watch, any theory or online scandal – literally anything that came to mind. They usually strayed away from complicated topics, wanting an easy-going day.

Unfortunately, Robert had other plans. Once the two sat down at their usual bench in central park, Robert looked towards Bea and sighed. “What?” She chuckled, thinking her uncle was just being his usual dramatic self.

“You don’t really love him, do you?” Robert asked nonchalantly, the two of them eating sorbet hotdogs in Central Park. “You don’t seem to have the same spark you had when you were with Tom.”

Bea’s head fell into his shoulder as a response, “I don’t like talking about this.” She mumbled.

“Well, okay, but all I’m saying is you have to think about it.” He noted, “I want you to be happy, and I’m not sure if you’re happy with him.”

So, those are the moments that Bea uses to summarize her December hiatus that seemed to go one forever; giong to therapy, stopping, working out, spending time at the pool with her dog, going on dates with Noah, going on double dates, spending time with Logan and William, attempting to wedding plan, meeting Noah’s family and having an awkward talk about religion, spending time with her own family, getting confronted and avoiding it with her uncle, her uncle-niece day, and then going back home.

But as soon as she got home, she was bombarded by Logan with three dresses she created for the New Years Eve bash.

Bea was running on minimal sleep – her nightmares about Tom only recurred so she’s barely slept, she was exhausted of being around Noah – their December felt like a lifetime with him and she was now more sure than ever that Noah wasn’t the one for her, and all she wanted to do was work. Bea wanted to get home and let her head fall onto the pillow, potentially burying herself in a series of blankets and pillows for months.

Little did she know, the night was going to change everything – in particular, it was the night that changed the definition of Bea’s normal routine and feelings. It was the night she swore she fell in love with Noah again.

Yet, the night that changed everything is now a bunch of blurred memories; something Bea pushes herself to forget, similar to Noah and Bea’s forever that December.

i’m so sorry this chapter is so long and gets rushed towards the end --- this particular element of the story is important for the build up of the story but not the full story if that makes sense so i wanted one chapter on it but not much more but i also had a hard time knowing what to cut out / what to add details on.... ++ i finished the later chapters and i got too excited to post them so i wanted to get this chapter out of the way xD

i hope you like it!!! please feel free to send feedback or requests!

taglist :

@charismas-world / @athermosofsad (it didn’t let me tag you so i linked you and hoped it work?)

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - extra #1

how tom met bea

series masterlist

summary: starstruck and silent - how tom met bea for the first time in 2014

Tom was exhausted yet exhilarated. He had travelled around the US to audition for his dream role. He’s one of the finalists now and he’s finally meeting one of the creators of the MCU – Robert Downey Jr in his Atlanta audition. His nerves were getting to him, but he was quickly turning it to excitement. For example, what if I mess up? turned to what if I do great? and reminders on how to improv after a mistake from BRIT school. One thought that was hammering through his head, as stupid as it may be and as outlandish as it might be was what if he reveals to RDJ about all of his dreams and crushes and wet dreams about his niece out of pure nervousness and jittery-ness.

“Don’t be a knobhead!” Harrison exclaimed, smacking Tom in the back of his head. “Do you think she’ll really come to your audition?” He teased, “Maybe Dylan O’Briens, but not yours.” Tom rolled his eyes, knowing he’s probably right.

He had a few major roles as a kid and then minor roles in some big movies that weren’t particularly popular. He was also an option for a role – RDJ probably doesn’t talk about that stuff with Bea.

“Plus, if she sees me, she won’t even think of seeing you.” Tom’s eyes went to the back of his head at that comment, bursting out laughing in the middle of the audition waiting room.

“Holland, Thomas!” The audition coordinator called from inside the room. “Please come into the room. RDJ will be with you in a second.”

As soon as Tom entered the audition room, he felt his knees get weak. He saw the brunette hair tied up in a messy bun, a large hoodie that must’ve been rained on, and yoga pants that add some shape to the shapelessness of the hoodie.

The girl looked up, “Oh hi, sorry!” Bea exclaimed, “You must be auditioning for Spiderman.” In Bea’s mind, she thought she saw one of the cutest guys she’s ever seen in her life. Cuter than her celebrity crush, Harry Styles. He looked familiar though – maybe somewhere with a movie with her friend Saoirse? Or even in a movie with Naomi? But even then, he was probably the cutest guy he’s seen around. He was wearing an all black outfit - probably in preparation to try on the harness and do practice stunts. He wasn’t that jacked, but he was muscular. She could tell he worked out. His brown eyes was warm and kind, as if they were enveloping her in a hug.

Tom nodded, almost speechless. “H-hello!” He stuttered out, anxious. This was the girl he spent his whole life admiring. She came from a similar acting background as himself – having acted as a kid in more musical based films and then had a major role in a voice acting film. She then plummeted into stardom, and the interviews and press only continued to prove how beautiful, how eloquent, how funny, how kind, and how entertaining she is. She’s been the girl of his dreams ever since. “I’m T-.”

“Bumble bee!” Robert called out, interrupting Tom. “Hey, sorry about the intrusion, I just needed to give Bea this form so I invited her here.”

“Are you calling me intrusive?” Bea jokingly asked in offense, “a bother?” Her uncle only rolled her eyes before giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Tom’s voice was almost as quiet as a mouse. “What’s that for?” He mumbled, motioning towards the form. “If you don’t mind me asking.” He quickly excused, nervous to be in front of two of his idols and to be negatively perceived.

“The form that lets me disown him as a relative.” Bea teased, making RDJ push her playfully, making her trip over her own feet. Tom quickly reacted, getting closer to her – even if she didn’t fall. “Oh thanks. Fast reflexes.” She noted, before looking at his face and smirking. “Yeah, I think he’s perfect for Spidey.” Tom blushed wildly, making Bea’s stomach flutter – something Tom thought was only happening to him.

“Alright, nice meeting you. Gotta send this in to Adam.”

“Adam McKay asked Bea for some forms for the Oscar nomination.” RDJ shrugged off, obviously proud of his niece but trying to downplay it as if it was only what was expected. Tom’s eyes widened, that news having been forgotten. “Oh, congratulations on that!”

Bea grinned widely at his accent - cute, just like him. , “Thanks! But I really gotta go. Bye, love you.” She gave a kiss to her uncle’s cheek, “Bye! It was nice meeting you…” She slowed down, realizing she didn’t get his name.

“Bea, stop bothering the kid!” RDJ teased as he saw Bea try to get to know the starstruck actor. Bea silently cursed her uncle. She wanted to get to know him and know his name. He seemed kind, and he was definitely extremely attractive to her.

“It was lovely meeting you, and I wish that dick would let you answer the question but it’s fine.” Her uncle threw her a playful middle finger. Tom saw Mr Downey lean in a little bit as if catching something Bea was saying – causing him to look slightly and see her mouthing ‘he’s cute!’ before heading out of the room. Boy, if his face was pink before – he was a tomato now.

About an hour later, after his successful audition where he bonded with one of his idols (to his surprise) and met his celebrity crush (yet another surprise) – he sees Harrison’s knees bouncing wildly. “What the fuck I didn’t expect her to be there!” Haz exclaimed. “Oh, how did it go by the way?”

Tom chuckled, “It was great, and bro – I know!” Tom started getting into a ramble about his excitement; his excitement about his new bond with RDJ, his interaction with his celebrity crush, and the possibility of playing his favorite superhero who happens to be a huge icon in pop culture.

Little did he know, three of some of his favorite things about his life was introduced to him that day.

And little did she know, the nameless boy became one of the most important figures in her life.

taglist: @charismas-world

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - chapter three

series masterlist

chapter 3: red (august 2017)

the story was previously called untitled - please feel free to message me for any feedback / any request for extras of this series / anything you want to see in future chapters / to be apart of the taglist (these messages really inspire me to write and mean a lot to me :-) )

It took Bea six years after her first one to actually get used to premieres; to learn how to blur the flashes out, to walk in heels without stumbling, to spend hours and hours on getting ready only to be able to take it off in minutes. However, the thirteen years of premiere training seemed to all go away with just two words; “Tom’s here”.

With those two words, all air left her lungs. She felt suffocated; as if her heels felt like they went from being wedges to uneven stilettos, her dress felt like it’s ready to become the carpet beneath her feet any second, her hair felt like a bathtub of water she has to balance on her head. All of those sensations happened at the smallest millisecond, captured by her sudden silence and her hitch of breath.

Logan, however, has grown up with her and know all the tell-tale signs that her best friend is not okay. One of them was dating Noah. Bea has been known to take at least three months to get over someone; even if they went on just five dates. Tom was the first person Bea actually loved – Colin Ford was someone who taught her love existed but Tom taught her what love was. So, when she dated Noah almost too fast – Logan knew something was up. And her hitch of breath, her wobbly stance, and her suddenly pale white complexion confirmed it.

As much as Logan wanted to force Bea to talk to her about it, it’s not the time. “Go to Noah or Robert or someone.” She rushed her, trying to get her off her upcoming panic attack. “I’ll go and talk to Tom and try my best to make sure he stays away.” As much as Logan hates Noah and loves Tom for Bea, she will be damned if Bea gets hurt like that again. She is currently at peace with the fact that in order to survive the night, Bea may need to be attached to the hip to her ‘someone new’. The twenty-four year-old noted two things; one, Bea needs to go back to therapy, and two, Logan needs to force this conversation sometime within the next week.

As soon as she saw Bea run into an interviewer, a place where she can’t be in the way of Tom, Logan took a big breath of relief and turned to Bea’s adoring and confused friends. “Hey guys!” She greeted, “I’m so sorry – as you all know, Bea loves to be with you all but I had to tell her some news and it unfortunately affected her very negatively and she needs to get to away from the crowd.” She apologized, and the fans immediately sympathized. Bea was known for many things, such as her strong fanbase and dedicated fans. But she’s also known for taking as much time as she can with fans – once spending seven hours outside her hotel in the blaring heat to get to know and pass out water bottles to the fans who have built up around the building. One of her most publicized moments is the time a fangirl was getting crushed into the barricade and having a panic attack, so Bea invited her to join her in the studio – buying her a bottle of water, getting her a snack, and later driving her home.

As the fans now ask for Logan’s attention – an element due to her fame as an interior designer, Instagram influencer, and stylist – Bea finished her first interview and took a b-line to her uncle who was waiting for her near the first interviewer. The girl practically sprinted her way to her uncle and her aunt, who were talking by the blonde lady who directs the flow of the red carpet.

“Bumble bee!” Uncle Robert exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the niece who he raised, and pressing his lips against her forehead. “I’m so, so, so, so proud of you.” He whispered again, his lips back to kissing her forehead rapidly, making her chuckle and her heart calm down. “Even if you betrayed us for DC. Which reminds me, have you taken Kevin’s offer yet?”

She pulled away, “Not yet!” Bea informed - “The movie would be the fourth though, so they’re giving me time. Thank you so much for coming.” She turned to her auntie and gave her an equally big hug, however after what felt like endless praises from both of them, Auntie Susan whispered an alarming note in her ear.

“I’m so sorry bumble,” She sighed, “I tried to not let Rob invite him but he did, he thought you two were still friends.”

September 28, 2016

After her final reshoot, she booked a one-way flight to New York to stay with her aunt and uncle temporarily. She didn’t want to turn to Logan, who had enough problems of her own. Logan would be able to detect something wrong immediately, and she didn’t want to face the criticism of losing the one man she truly loved by Logan.

So she escaped and did the exact opposite. She left all her work and technology, except of her laptop (which is devoid of work – all her work is on her iPad). She had no projects she can currently delve herself into as her agent booked her for a well-deserved vacation. In particular, the vacation was supposed to be sent to visit Tom and his family in London.

Instead of staying at the apartment she bought to be able to visit her family without disturbing them, Bea hobbled out of JFK airport in her crutches with her duffle bag and got into the first cab and went to the Hamptons.

The film producer saw her honorary daughter hobble her way down the street, opting to ask the cab to drop her off a few blocks away from her uncle’s home. “Are you crazy?” Auntie Susan practically sprinted down the street, “Yes, of course, I’ll just watch my injured niece carry all her stuff down a block, sounds fair.”

Bea chuckled at the sarcasm, despite her foul mood. “I know you guys like your privacy!” Bea defended, “I also didn’t want to disturb you guys.”

“We literally raised you.” Auntie Susan noted, scrunching her eyebrows, as she picked up the heavy duffle bag from the ground. “If you disturbed us, it’s back when you peed your bed.”

The actress sighed, “I just didn’t want to bother any of you guys.” The aunt and mother grabbed her stuff and guided the injured younger woman to the couch. Dropping her baggage on the ground, Auntie Susan helped lift Bea enough to get on the large couch.

“You’re family, baby.” Auntie Susan reminded as soon as Bea sat down comfortably on the couch. “You’re never bothering us. That’s what’s family for.” Susan picked up the duffle bag once more, “I’ll put your stuff in the guest room rather than your usual room.”

“Good idea.” Bea chuckled as her usual room, which also happens to be one of her few childhood rooms, happen to be in the windmill next to her office. It was fair to assume Bea shouldn’t climb up three stories and one abnormally steep staircase. “You stay here, I’ll be right back. As much as I enjoy your visits, you often stay at your flat – so I’m guessing you want to talk about something.” Bea nodded, falling onto the cream marshmallow they call a couch.

Within minutes, Auntie Susan had placed two water bottles and a bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table. She absentmindedly turned on a boring television show neither of them will watch and sat down next to Bea’s legs. “So, care to tell me what happened?” Susan frowned, reaching out to soothingly caress her niece’s face.

Bea has never been one to talk about her feelings or a break up due to not wanting to inconvenience everyone – she always says others have more and worse problems than her. It’s one of the reasons she likes acting and spending time with fans – if she can bring a smile to someone’s face, she accomplished something. However, the action of Auntie Susan soothing her reminded her of when she was first taken in by her uncle and she was brought to tears.

“Uh, so you knew about Tom and I?” Susan nodded, and that’s when Bea started stuttering nonsensical words – explaining how much she loved him, how much he made her heart feel heavy with love, how happy she was with him, and how amazing he was. As she spoke, Susan saw the true impact Tom had on her leaving; her sunken eyes, her pale skin, her stringy hair.

Yes, Tom Holland has done the impossible; he got Bea to be so broken down and sad. He got her to cry her eyes out. He got her to become a mess. Susan hasn’t seen Bea like this since she was eighteen. Bea became a waterfall that couldn’t be stopped; her tears falling and falling.

She fell into her aunt’s chest, causing Susan to wrap her arms around her niece tightly. “I’m so sorry, baby.” She sighed, shushing her in a comforting way and petting her hair. “I know you’re a strong girl, so I’m not going to coddle you because you also are aware of this but Tom isn’t shit and I won’t say it. But I’m going to say he’s shit for how he reacted.” Susan sighed, “I’m also not going to lie by saying you weren’t good for each other, because it’s like…I can only think of it as how someone describe Rob and myself – yin and yang.” She paused for a hot second between every statement, “but what I can say is that you love and you learn. It’s good you finally came in touch with that emotion. It’s good that you’re telling me how you feel. I can’t say anything that’ll take away the pain, but I’m here. We’re here for you. We’ll listen to you. Stay with us – you obviously can stay longer than the five days you planned”

After what felt like hours of endless sobbing, Bea and Susan leaned back into the couch and turned on some of Bea’s favorite films until the kids came back from day care and kindergarten. The two squealed at the sight of their cousin. “Bea!” They both screamed, running towards her and hugging her. Bea laughed, still sniffling and eyes still red and puffy. When they started trying to climb up onto the couch, particularly near Bea’s leg, Susan was quick to warn them.

“Exton, Avri, careful – your cousin is hurt.” Susan motioned towards the cast on Bea’s leg, leaving the position the two of them were in. “She won’t be able to be active with you guys, but she’s here for the next few days.”

Bea smiled weakly – feeling exhausted from crying, “how about you sign my cast?” She winked, playfully, making the kids squeal and run upstairs to retrieve all the different colors of sharpie.

The actress suppressed her anger for her uncle; after all, she knows she could never hold a grudge against him. It’s been proven impossible.

“I better get to some interviews,” Bea suppressed her fear of crashing into Tom and her anger at her uncle, knowing if she doesn’t – she’ll say things she’ll regret. “I told Noah we’ll do some interviews together.”

Uncle Robert grinned widely, just happy his niece seems happy. “Let me see the guy! Haven’t seen him in ages.” One thing Bea loves about her uncle is that he’s so open, welcoming, and lovable. However, she hates how he can be that way after pissing her off.

Bea walked quickly to Noah, ignoring her uncle’s attempts to make conversation as she wants to restrain herself from yelling at him. “Hey Noah!” Robert exclaimed, giving the huge fan of his a giant bear hug. “Have you been treating my dau-niece right?” Uncle Robert has raised Bea like his own daughter – it often happens where he slips ‘daughter’ in instead of niece, and same with Bea – where sometimes he’d call him and Auntie Susan as her parents.

Bea tuned out as Noah smiled, responding to his questions; her foot anxiously tapping the carpet on the ground as her head was involuntarily searching the area desperately for Tom and the best way to avoid him.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Logan talking to Tom – Tom’s back facing her. Bea thanked God quietly for Logan’s presence in her life.

Tom, in his eyes, was here just to see Bea. He wanted to apologize, to tell her she hasn’t stopped thinking about him, to give her a kiss and spin her around like they used to. He wanted to carry her up in the ground and do training again, or binge watch another show he can’t give an arse about to see her smile.

Tom missed her. He knew about the relationship between Noah and Bea, but she moved on too fast. Did he mean nothing to her at all?

That, and he needed more closure. He left her, yes, and he regrets it everyday of his life. But his family and Haz was right; Bea was family at that point and she was more than the love of her life. If Tom had to describe Bea in any word, he’d call her his soulmate. As cheesy as it sounds, that’s the best way he can describe her and encapsulate everything about her; from the way she’d be too lazy to leave her bed sometimes or indulge himself into her work to the way she’d shine like the north star amongst the sea of stars. He was the luckiest guy in the world when he was with her; he was just scared.

So, he wanted to see her.

He wanted to see if she was happy.

He knew when she was lying, and something about the pictures and captions of posts with Noah felt off.

Or maybe it was just some dazed off fantasy. A fantasy where she’d see him across the room, run into his arms, and become his just like that again. Oh how he wishes that can happen, oh how he wishes she’ll drop everything for him. He would do that for her in a moment’s notice. He can’t lose her again and he’d do anything to get her back. It’s like she was her oxygen.

Tom remembers what everyone called him the day on set when Noah and Bea became online official; something they never did. Tom remembers how he did almost nothing for that week; Zendaya, Jacob, Harrison, and his family each calling him ‘lifeless’ and a ‘zombie’ – a shell of what he used to be.

He was heartbroken, no, he had a piece taken away from him by his own stupid insecurities, which he took out on her.

“Spiderman was so great!” Logan was making meaningless conversation, but Tom was still grateful for the compliment. “No, but seriously, how are you? I miss you guys so much.” Although Logan’s main motive was to move him out the way, his ulterior motive was to bond with the guy who she used see everytime he saw his best friend. She wanted to bond with the man who brought the biggest smile she’s ever seen on her best friend’s face.

August 2015

“I’m nervous.” Tom mumbled under his breath as Harrison sat in the back seat and Bea drove the three of them to the restaurant where William had picked.

Bea chuckled, “Why are you nervous?” She reached out for his hand on her knee, stroking it with her thumb. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Harrison laughed in the background, “Honestly, before I met you, I wanted to meet Logan and have her sweet talk me to you so you’d want to meet me and date me.” Bea chuckled. She has heard a lot of people having a crush on her, hell – she’d seen a headline saying ‘Bea Downey-Parker; the girl who creates lesbians and make every boy fall hard’, but it felt strange having someone who’d just become one of her closest friend be so open about wanting to marry her.

“I mean the last bit still can happen.” Bea teasingly flirted, making Tom’s heart drop despite the obvious joke. The beginning of their relationship was weird; Harrison knew Tom and Bea were not-so secretly in love with each other, so Haz has been doing anything he can to provoke his best mate into asking the girl of his dreams out.

Tom quickly changed the radio station. “Oh my God, I love this song!” He basically screamed in his best valley girl accent, before the three of them started singing along with Miley Cyrus’s ‘Party in the USA’ – Haz laughing throughout, Tom singing as stereotypically girly as he can, and Bea 100% meaning every lyric that escaped her lip. Haz took out his phone, starting to film this experience and post on his Insta Story.

Eventually, the three of them made their way into the restaurant – where Logan and Bea literally ran to each other before giving each other a bear hug. “Logan and William, this is Tom and Harrison. Harrison and Tom, this is Logan and William.”

The dinner was the longest dinner Bea ever attended – and Bea attended six MET galas. The group of them bonded over soda (for Haz, Tom, and Bea) and alcohol (Logan and William), laughing throughout the night and telling embarrassing anecdotes – like the time Tom got a boner during an assembly, the time Harrison made out with a sex doll during a house party, when William accidentally called his boss ‘daddy’ during a mock trial, when Logan’s dress ripped in the middle of the red carpet, and when Bea had a fan sign a plastic of poop and threw it to her from behind the red rope – the plastic bag breaking as it landed on her stomach in front of a hundred people minutes before her flight.

“Okay, Bea – can you come with me to the bathroom?” Logan asked, making Bea nod and stand up immediately without any further question. “I’m just washing my face – don’t want to sleep while driving.”

Bea turned to look at Tom and Harrison, “I’ll try and do the same, but can one of you guys drive just in case?” Bea started to sing the last part of the question, tyring to look much more innocent than she normally seems.

Tom rolled his eyes, “I’ll drive.” Bea bit her lip and then bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek. As soon as her soft lips met his cheek, he turned pink.

“You guys are dating and didn’t tell me.” Logan started hitting her best friend with a box of tissues inside the bathroom, “You are so fucking happy with him what the fuck I’m so happy for you!!”

Bea pulled back her face, “Yeah, I think I really like him and OK TAKE MY NEXT SENTENCE LIGHTLY but I can see myself falling for him.” Logan started to squeal; even when she dated Colin (aka her first boyfriend), she never was this giddy or smiley. “But we’re not dating.”

“WHY THE FUCK NOT?”

“Centineo and Downey-Parker, can you please go to your photo spots and then your interviews please?” The mean looking, frowning blonde lady directing the carpet exasperatedly sighed. She pulled Bea out of her trance while her uncle and current boyfriend continued to bond. “Your group photo and interview will be happening soon.”

The actress gasped, apologizing profusely to both her uncle for leaving so quickly and the lady, for interfering with her job. Noah took her hand and made their way to the photo spots, listening to the instructions.

After posing by looking directly at the camera - smiling on and off, looking over their shoulders, hugging or wrapping their arm around each other – Noah smirked. “Do you trust me?” Bea furrowed her eyebrows. Before she could even respond, Noah dipped her and planted a sloppy kiss to her lips. Although she adored him and his kiss, she felt the most uncomfortable.

Is Tom seeing this? She thought; a thought that only made this action feel so wrong. An itch creeped down her back, as if warning her that this wasn’t okay. She has never cheated on anybody nor has she ever been in an open relationship, but she felt like this is how cheating would feel like.

Once the movie ended and Bea was finally liberated from watching her face up in another close-up again, she went onstage alongside the cast and director to do a short question and answer session with the audience. Luckily, she couldn’t see Tom amongst the hundreds of people. As soon as the session ended, she rushed her way to the after party – Noah in tow – as she tried to avoid Tom.

As soon as she got into the after party, Bea immediately wanted to leave. Yes, she loved going on stage before and after the movie to talk about the film and the process – and that’s fun with the right interviews. Yes, she loved getting to meet people. But, the after party always tend to be much more exclusive. She always felt like she didn’t belong.

So, she felt uncomfortable as a random guy tried to schmooze a product that she couldn’t care less about. That said, it’s also a product she can’t make a decision on – it’s something her stylist chooses.

Tom was so grateful that Robert invited him to both the premiere and the after party – but he felt as if he didn’t belong. He just wanted to see her in person, ideally talk to her – but he’s seen her so much in pictures. Something didn’t seem right about her smile – so he wanted to see it in person. He always knew when she lied. Logan can start slightly detecting a lie, despite knowing her for almost her whole life. Robert can be oblivious unless pointed towards the right direction. But Tom always paid attention and he knew her tell. He knew something was up.

It was also the most obvious when Bea was talking to a man in suit, now in a shorter and seemingly more comfortable dress. So, Tom wanting to play hero (and taking advantage of Logan going to the bathroom after someone spilled a drink on her) went and approached her, his heart thumping with nerves.

“Hey Bea…” Tom smiled, sliding into the conversation. “Hey mate, sorry, do you think I can take her away for a second? Thanks mate.” Tom didn’t allow the man to answer and just dragged her away.

Bea’s breath hitched. Yes, she was thankful she was away from the man who started becoming a little sexist but she didn’t know if being with Tom made it better. She could swear every time Tom looked at her, her heart dropped. “Hey!” She exclaimed, trying to show some gratefulness for giving her an escape. She opened her arms up to give him a hug, which he gratefully accepted.

Words were stuck on the tip of his tongue. I love you, he wanted to say – three words he never had the courage to say to her. “The movie was fantastic!” Great small talk, Tom – he chastised himself sarcastically, you know how much she loves that.

“Oh thank you!” She grinned and nodded at the compliment, accepting the fact it was great at best but in no way fantastic. “I could say the same to you – Spiderman: Homecoming was amazing.”

This felt awkward for the both of them. The two of them have literally spoken about the meaning of death, why people fart – any topic that they can think of. They never felt confined to one topic.

He shrugged off the compliment. “Ah, thanks, but really your uncle made the movie.” He teased, still refraining from physical contact. “I was sad to not see you at the premiere. What were you doing?”

How do you tell someone you were crying your eyes out from missing them? How do you tell someone you didn’t have the courage to see their face and still not sure if you could see their face now?

“Uh, you know, Logan wanted me to do some wedding planning.” She tipped an imaginary hat, “I was being the best maid of honor, obviously.” She overexaggerated her voice.

If Bea had no social restraint, she’d scream at him – tell him to answer her question if he wanted her to Gwen Stacy, tell him that he ripped her heart into pieces and threw it into a trash. If Tom had no social restraint, he’d kiss her right there.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, not knowing what to do with her hands. “So, you’re here with anybody?”

“Uh, not really.” He chuckled, “I’m kind of your uncle’s plus one.” He glanced and found Robert with Susan. “Plus two… I’m kind of his side chick, I’m assuming.”

Bea chuckled, suddenly feeling the tension and weight in the air lift with their laughter. “Ah, no, Jimmy is his side chick. I think you’re more of a side hoe.”

“There’s a difference?”

Bea shrugged, “Huh, not sure. I just think side chick sounds nicer than side hoe.”

Tom lifted his eyebrows in mock offense, “I’ll be the best side hoe-“

“Oh my gosh, you must be Tom Holland!” Noah exclaimed, giving Tom a big man hug out of nowhere. “Dude, I’m such a big fan.” Bea immediately closed up again and Tom lost all hope in getting her to open up once more. Tom chuckled, making friends with who seems like one of the friendliest guys he’d ever meet. “Bea mentioned that she met you and I kept asking her if you could introduce us after the whole Spiderman movie.”

Noah wrapped his arm around Bea’s waist. This is something common for the two of them, hell – it was more common with Tom – but this was the first time that the familiar arm felt like a snake slithering around her waist and Bea was terrified of reptiles. He kissed her cheek sloppily, feeling like a wet mop just hit the dry floor. His close presence felt almost suffocating and her smile was about to falter. She can’t let Tom see her like that and she can’t let Noah feel like she’s questioning their relationship. She didn’t want to hurt him.

Tom and Noah were talking about the small habits of their characters while Bea stared at her heels and Tom kept glancing at her - wanting to know what she was thinking, wanting to be the one who’s wrapped around her, wanting to ink her face into the back of his mind permanently. “I’ll go get some air.” Bea interrupted the conversation she zoned out from;

Noah nodded, knowing Bea is quite an introvert for a celebrity. He learnt to give her some time alone, especially when the last time this happened caused their first and only in-person fight to happen. Noah took a step back and let her off.

She found her solace in the balcony, sitting near the edge. She hesitated to take out a pack of cigarettes from her bag. No, she was no smoker – nor will she ever promote the poison, but she would smoke it in times of severe stress and only then. She started after the breakup – when she met up with Colin for drinks (and to ask her why he cheated on her to understand why she was so ‘unlovable’ as she called it) and he took out a cigarette and offered one to Bea.

“I have never thought that I’d ever see you with one of those.” Tom noted. “It took me a bit to find you. I had to escape your cavalry.” Bea chuckled, putting the unlit cigarette and the lighter down into her bag. “When did you start?”

She shrugged, not wanting him to see how much he broke her. But maybe that’s what she needed to do. Maybe telling him how much him leaving broke her heart would remind her why she shouldn’t love him and quiet the loud thumping in her chest and clip the wings of the butterflies in her stomach. “Last year-ish. I went out with Colin and he offered me one.”

Maybe mentioning Colin was the wrong thing to do. It was the reason he left. It was name that prompted the biggest regret of his life.

“Bea, I still love you.” He blurted out, “Well, I mean I love you. I mean, I always did. Look, I’m not good at confessing how I feel – you know this.”

“And you think I am?” Bea exclaimed. “I fucking confessed my heart to you, Holland. Do you think it’s easy for me to say I love you? I told you about Colin cheating on me. You were so hung up on such a trivial fact. Why the fuck are you confessing this now when I’m with somebody else?” Tom noticed how she didn’t say she loved somebody else. Tom saw the lack of social restriction she was gaining as she yelled, so even as she shouted her heart out to him – his heart felt full. “You can’t toy with someone’s feeling like that.”

Tom opened his mouth to explain himself. Bea wanted to know why. Hell, it’s what kept her up most nights. So, she shut her mouth and let him speak. She wanted to hear his side of the story, and didn’t want to yell so much on such a big night “I was scared. There was no way in hell I ever could deserve somebody like you. I could sell my soul to the devil and he would still think it’s too much to ask. I thought you’d find someone better and leave me.”

“You are the best man I have ever met in my life, Holland.” She interrupted the pause of silence. “I could never find anybody better than you.”

At those words, he felt like he had her approval. He lunged forward and captured her lips in his - initially out of sync but eventually started moving together like two dancers in a perfect waltz. I guess I have no social restraint, he thought. His hand went to her hair, tangling himself in her body as much as she can whilst Bea’s body didn’t reciprocate the action but her lips did – the two molding together like they belonged with one another, like they never been parted. They both missed this feeling; the feeling of home in another person, the fireworks - no, explosions that spark from just being in the presence of the other.

But then Bea came back to mind. What felt right was wrong. Bea slapped at his chest, pushing him away, and looked at him with as much distaste as she can muster for the man she loved with all her heart, a love that has only been reignited.

How can someone be so perfect? She thought as she started to walk away. “I’m going to Noah.” She mumbled under her breath.

Tom felt his feet trip under his weight, but caught himself on the railing. The context behind his actions came flooding back. He felt icky and gross and disgusting and full of himself and he wanted to take ten showers before talking to civilised society again.

But one fact reigned true in his mind besides her comments; she kissed back.

And interrupting his dreamy thoughts; the way her hair cascaded down and how it felt when his hand was up in her hair as they kissed – was Logan, returning back to her post. “I was looking for you!” She slapped his shoulder playfully, “Whats with that dreamy smile of yours?”

She kissed back. “Nothing.” He smiled, staring dreamily at the stars in the sky - none of which could shine as much as she did, none of which that could light up the night like that kiss did.

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badfanfics · 5 years

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fallback - chapter two

series masterlist

chapter 2: flashes (august 2017)

this story was previously untitled - many changes happened from original published draft :-)

HEADS UP: tom doesn’t rlly appear in this chapter - he is mentioned in a flashback and at the end --- i also got a bit carried away w this chapter.

if you have any requests on what you want to see in following chapters or in any ‘extra’ sections of this story (ie: how tom and bea met, their first kiss, interviews, or generally any specific or general moments for Bea or between her and family/friends/tom/etc) please feel free to message me either personally or go to my ask page and send your requests :-)

One reason why love is a difficult word for Bea is because everything she ‘loves’ and everything she enjoys have a good side and bad side to it. For example, acting and being famous. She loves spreading joy by creating entertainment, the idea she has inspired or encouraged people, acting and creating new worlds and characters and bringing them to life, meeting new and a large amount of people, all the travelling opportunities, and being recognized for her talent. But she hates how her whole childhood has been and probably the rest of her life will be characterized by the media scrutinizing and criticizing and magnifying everything she has done. She despises how the media acts towards females – such as focus on their fashion or bodies – and hates how sometimes, the media have terrible questions and stray away from the movie and it’s behind the scenes or from the important stuff.

In this instance, Beatrice thinks she mostly loves premieres. Yes, she hates how some media outlets, not all, have the most boring or sexist questions. She hates the amount of flashing lights that she swears is deteriorating her vision. And yes, she’ll prefer to be in pajamas, watching Netflix rather than going to a premiere. But, she loves the ability to celebrate the project with the cast and crew and families and friends, being able to meet fans at the red carpet, seeing the excitement and hype for the film, seeing how the film actually turns out, and something about how the premiere symbolizes the end of a project. She’s always excited to move onto the next project. The premiere is something that combines all the reasons she loves acting, even just a little bit, in a few hours of an event.

One thing she loves the most about premieres is the pre-premiere tradition Logan and Bea superstitiously follow. It started back when Logan lived with Bea rather than her then-boyfriend-now-fiancée and they had the best premiere they ever attended. Ever since then, Logan makes sure to have breakfast ordered to the house whilst Bea has all the skin care supplies prepared.

“WAKE UP BITCH!” Logan screamed from the foyer, using her spare key to call Bea. As this is Logan’s first time not seeing Bea immediately when Logan comes in, she assumed she was asleep. “I GOT THE CROISSANTS.”

Bea was currently trapped under Noah’s sleeping state, his breath reeking of the alcohol from last night. She has been trying to get to the bathroom to change into sweatpants rather than booty shorts and look somewhat more presentable for the last hour. “Noah,” Bea groaned, shaking him slightly, making him stir slightly, “can you move?” She asked gently, slightly annoyed.

He stirred, “No” he whined. “We have time and I want you with me.” He mumbled.

“I told you yesterday,” She sighed, “Logan and I have this tradition. I spent the last few days with you non-stop…I need time with Logan.” Noah begrudgingly moved, groaning at the loss of contact. Bea never knew someone could be this clingy.

Bea slipped into the bathroom, quickly slipping on a sweatshirt to cover up her bandeau and sweat shorts rather than her booty shorts. Tying her hair up into a messy bun, she quickly ran downstairs. “Sorry, sorry,” Bea profused as she met Logan who’s already eating her own chocolate croissant, “Noah’s a heavy sleeper.”

The interior designer and stylist rolled her eyes, “I don’t get why you’re with him.” Logan was skeptical and knew something was up with their relationship from the very beginning, but Bea doesn’t like to open up and Logan knows Bea likes her distance. It just sucks – Bea is an world renowned actress and knows how to lie about how she’s feeling pretty amazingly. In fact, Logan knew something was up as Bea often drowns herself in work whenever she feels upset – and for the last year, Bea has been working non-stop that Logan has barely seen her maid of honor.

“It’s fine.” Bea mumbled, finally taking a bite out of the creamy deliciousness of the croissant.

Logan grabbed Bea’s wrist. “That’s not an answer.”

“Yours wasn’t a question.” Bea poked her tongue out, “Okay I know you don’t like him, so let’s move on.”

“You’re getting it wrong.” Logan groaned, “He’s okay. I don’t like him for you.”

Bea decided just to swap topics, she can’t handle confrontation like this because it asks her to directly confront her own personal, conflicting emotions – not a character’s, but her own. “So, since we haven’t seen each other since our last wedding planning session, what else have you and Will decided?”

The girl sighed at her best friend not opening up to her. Bea is Logan’s personal diary and knows everything – Logan just wants to help her as much as Bea helps Logan. “So, I want you to go wedding dress shopping with me in a bit. I got an appointment at this boutique I’ll send you the address for, but they let you customize your gowns so I’m planning on doing that too.” She noted, “That in mind, I’m getting you an early maid of honor slash birthday gift that day too.”

“Babe!” Bea exclaimed, “You don’t have too!”

Logan smirked, “Trust me. It’s a good gift but it requires extreme effort on your part.” Bea scrunched her eyebrows, “Good effort! Promise.” The actress scrunches her eyebrows, skeptically, before Logan physically swipes at the air and acts as if it swiped away the conversation. “But William absolutely loves the bakery you chose, thank you so much. And none of the bridesmaids are hating the dress design you picked.” Logan decided on designing the dress and just asked Bea to choose which design goes to which bridesmaid and which designs should be created.

As soon as the breakfast and wedding talk was finished, it’s been an hour and the two found themselves sitting on Bea’s L-shaped couch with skins masks, milkshakes, and their hair up in buns for a deep condition. The TV was playing ‘Bachelor In Paradise’.

April 12, 2016

Tom and Harrison came back from the outside, sweating from their previous game of basketball – both shirtless. “What’s this?” Harrison asked, eyes bewildered as they saw Bea and Logan lounging with skin masks, their wet and recently showered hair up in towels.

“Premiere day.” Logan stated, “It’s our pre-premiere tradition, we always do this.”

“Want to join?” Bea inquired, sitting up more to look at Tom and Haz. “We have some extra masks.”

Tom and Harrison shrugged, making Bea and Logan rub their hands together to look like they are scheming something. Tom sat next to Bea and Harrison sat next to Logan, not wanting to third-wheel the blossoming couple. “Mask me!” Tom exclaimed, opening his arms after grabbing Bea to straddle his lap, making her chuckle.

“Wait, y’all need to take quick rinse because you two smell bad and rinse your face real quick.” Bea instructed, climbing off of Tom’s lap and causing the two boys to stand up, “Oh, and don’t forget that it has to be relatively quick. We have to end this a little earlier because we have to pick up your family at the hotel.”

Tom’s head fell back, “Oh shit, yeah.” Tom noted, “Thanks.” He smiled dreamily, holding his gaze with Bea as his heart blossomed. He couldn’t wait to get Bea to meet his family, especially as she was the celebrity crush of his brothers and they doubted their relationship. His stomach felt butterflies, especially as she remembered something so dear to him – he’s always been a major family person. He knows she’s nervous to meet them, but that’s why her extra effort means a lot to Tom. “I would give you a kiss, but I don’t want to mess up your face mask.” He motioned to the face mask, glossing over her face. Bea responded with a dimpled smile and by closing her eyes particularly tight to motion she got the intent behind the message.

Eventually, the two boys were in sweats and the girls were placing the face masks on their faces. Tom had dragged Bea into his lap once more – making her laugh, and once she finished putting the mask on, he held her closer and let her cuddle into his shoulder.

“These feel so good what the fuck?” Tom exclaimed, “How come I never did this before?”

“Mate, yeah what?” Harrison asked, “Is this some glorious American thing?” He teased, making the two girls roll their eyes.

Bea lifted her head off of Tom’s shoulder, making Tom rub her shoulder, not exactly wanting her to leave his embrace. “They say beauty is pain, but your own beauty depends on your own choice, so choose well.” Harrison rolled his eyes whilst Tom chuckled, staring at Bea with stars in his eyes.

“What show even is this?” Harrison eventually asked, eyes widened in surprise but also enjoyment, seeing a girl cry on screen for what felt like the hundredth time as she cried about being ignored by a guy named Jared.

Tom answered, having watched sections of this season when it came out with Bea. “Re-runs of Bachelor in Paradise.”

“Literally the best show out there.” Bea teased, making Logan motion to the sky, as if praising God for blessing the world with the show. “It’s basically all the rejects of Bachelor and Bachelorette on one island, screwing each other over – both in a bad way and in another way.” Bea raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Sounds like Love Island, but with more purpose.”

“I don’t know!” Bea screamed at Logan who’s been chanting for a couple for the last ten minutes, “Listen, it’s just – I hate speaking in that accent so I just, I don’t know! I get annoyed at her!” Bea then started doing her best southern-belle accent, which due to her cameo role in a Western television series, caused her to be pretty damn good.

Logan chuckled, doing her own best southern belle accent. “Do you think you’d ever do bachelor in paradise?” Before Bea could answer, she took a sip of her strawberry milkshake – “dude, I would so leave William for the show – like just for the show. I’ll go to the dream location, get the payout for drinking and dishing, and then go home back to William.”

“Wow, I know what I’ll be saying in my maid of honor speech now.” Logan threw a pillow at Bea.

“Okay, time to shower. I dibs first!” Logan exclaimed, standing up and running to her old room, now converted to a guest room.

Almost as if her disappearance started a machine, as soon as the bathroom door in her old room closed, Noah came out of the room, wearing just sweats and an open robe, walking down the stairs sleepily. “What are you wearing?” He asked, chuckling.

“Face masks, want one?” Bea smiled at her boyfriend, who grabbed a tissue and approached her. Grabbing one tissue, she wiped her face of some of the green junk and pressed his lips to hers.

“Not really, no.” He said, after pecking her lips.

Bea playfully pouted – trying to ignore her own disappointment at her ruined face mask, “That was my face mask.”

Noah pouted in response, leaning in to kiss her once more. “Sorry, candy girl.” He fell back onto the seat beside Bea, turning to look at the TV. “Oh, is this this nonsense show you always try to show me?”

The brunette nodded in response. “Alright, I’m gonna grab a bowl of cereal and then head out to meet Colin.”

Bea nodded, “Sounds good.”

Like machine work, Logan came prancing down the stairs as Noah walked into the kitchen. “Hi Logan!” Noah called out as he walked towards the kitchen island, oblivious to how Logan hates him. Logan, however, caught a glimpse of his chest. “Oh, so that’s why you’re dating him.” The actress rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her.

Hours later, Bea and Logan were moisturized and in the middle of getting ready by Logan’s friend and fellow stylist (who happens to be Bea’s official stylist) gave them their outfits and doing their hair and make-up. In particular, Ines managed to get Marc Jacobs to customize a dress inspired by Raven’s iconic superhero outfit. It was a long, dark blue, evening gown with a leg slit that starts about five inches away from Bea’s underwear. The hip has a built in belt, reminiscent of the belt from Raven with gold and red jewels. There is another red jewel at the curve of the deep V-Neck allowing some coverage. The dress had no sleeves, but the back has an attack black cape. The outfit was wrapped together with strappy ankle booties. Logan, on the other hand, wore something less intricate; a black, cold shoulder, knee length cocktail dress with a ribbed waist matched with nude heels.

Currently, Bea was bent over her chair – Ines applying her concealing foundation to her shoulder to continue and hide her break up tattoos from the public, as instructed by her publicist. Bea has a clean image – part of it was being an actress everyone watched and can watch grow up on screen. They do not want to see a tattoo on her. While Ines was covering up her pinky promise tattoo with ‘promise’ in RDJ’s handwriting on the back of her shoulder, her assistant Camille sprayed temporary purple hair dye in Bea’s hair before throwing it up in a clean bun. The makeup was already done – Bea wore purple lipstick, very slight contour, brightening mascara, a subtle cat eye, and had a diamond shaped red jewel on her forehead like Raven whilst Logan had a deep red lip, an aluminum eyeshadow, and a killer cat eye. Logan had her hair up in her natural ‘black girl curls’, as she calls them, but in a contained bun. Now, all they’re waiting for is Bea’s two tattoos (the pinky promise and the ‘Coraline’ key with a bumble bee flying through the hole on her foot) to be covered and her purple bun to be finished.

“God, I don’t even know why you’re famous.” Logan always teased Bea, and this teasing is partly why she’s so down to earth. “Like cool, you won 100 academy awards, baftas, whatever award, and acted in thousands of shit, but like – wow you don’t deserve all this attention. So much hate. You got two break up tattoos and only an idiot does this.”

The actress gaped her mouth in fake offense, throwing a spare makeup wipe at her best friend. “Okay star interior designer, tell me, when did I not take you to any of them?”

Logan putted her lips out – “Perks, I guess.” She popped the ‘p’, making Ines and Bea laugh even more. “Okay, but seriously – I’m proud of you. Legit I love all the reviews of this film.” She noted, pulling out an article on the phone she’s been playing with for thirty minutes rather than continuing their tea session. “’Bea Downey is a literal superhero as she saves the DCU’”

One thing Bea never learnt? How to take a compliment without making a joke out of it. “But I’ll never be as good of a super hero as the dancing zebras somewhere in South America.” Logan smirked.

“Okay, we’re done.” Ines sighed, looking at her two works of art. “Photo and Insta story time.” Bea and Logan were littered all over Ines’s portfolio, mainly Bea through promotional tours and premieres. “Okay, okay, remember the time you took us out for coffee and ran into William and knocked his trays of coffee ove-YAS QUEEN!” What can they say – Ines is the ultimate hype queen.

Eventually, the two were entering a van. “What’s up Big Ray?” Logan called out while Bea kissed both his cheeks to greet the security guard and driver who’s been protecting her since she started, and her uncle beforehand. “Do you remember our first time riding a limousine?” Logan sighed, “now we’re stuck in a damn van, Ray!” She joked with the big man, who laughed and flipped her off.

“Next time you should be on the red carpet with me!” Bea invited, both jokingly and seriously, “Logan keeps insulting me and being ungrateful.” She teased, earning a kick to the leg from Logan.

Big Ray heard the audible thumb of heel against ankle, “Hey, don’t touch the merchandise.” He joked, making both of them chuckle.

Text from Noah: hey – colin and ray and I got here few minutes ago. Looking for my favorite and best looking accessory <3 I think your uncle is waiting for you at the gate?? Spoke to him for a bit, but he didn’t seem to move. Love you, pls get here soon.

“What the fuck!?” Logan called, “No man should call a girl his accessory.”

Bea was about to protest, until she heard even Big Ray sheesh. “Yeah, hate to break it to you and love the guy, but yeah.”

“Also love the fact he had no emojis or nicknames in your phone.” Logan observed, “Just saying.”

Bea was known to put emojis next to important names in her phone; her family had emojis they themselves picked out, Logan got the hand rock symbol, Tom and Harrison had the British flag while Tom was also named ‘tommy boi’. “I invited you because I love you, not because I want a psychoanalysis.”

“I’m here to support you, and if supporting you means that you need to hear a psychoanalysis, I’ll be glad to provide it.”

Another text popped to her phone before she could reply. Facebook Message from Harrison Osterfield (nickname: hazzy): Tuwaine, the twins, and I are tuning in!! don’t forget to remember us when ur being interviewed….we want them shout outs

Facebook Message from Harrison Osterfield (nickname: hazzy): kidding xx love you loads, miss you, and wishing you all the best xxx

She smiled, her cheeks turning pink and her heart feeling lifted; she felt blessed to have a friend like him, even if they weren’t as close as before. Typing out a quick and loving reply, the sounds of screams slowly came into earshot – even three blocks away from the premiere.

“Here we come.”

Bea opened up the window, greeting each and every one of them as best as she could, occasionally recognizing one of them from a previous conversation. Observing the heat, Bea started reaching into the pre-packed stash of water bottles (that Big Ray always packs, because he’s paranoid) and gently throwing them out the window. “Hey! Stay hydrated! Take care of yourself!”

“Ooh, I’ll pass them out, you sign them.” Logan thought of, making Bea immediately agree and take out a sharpie.

As they ran out of water, Bea opened up her iPhone and went to Instagram to make a quick story. “Hey guys!” She greeted the camera, “I’m entering the venue right now and already see so many of you. I know not everyone could make it here tonight. However, if you are here – please please please hydrate and find shade and take care of yourself. Additionally, thank you all so much for your support – if it’s attending the premiere or waiting until the last day, thank you so much for everything. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you guys.”

“Okay, you’re here.” Big Ray grinned, letting them go as now the red-carpet security will now have direct responsibility of watching them. “Have fun and don’t get into too much trouble. I’ll be in the green room if anything wrong happens. But if anything bad happens, I’m blaming red carpet security.”

Bea smiled fondly at who felt to be an honorary second father. “Thank you Ray.” She smiled, pressing a kiss on each of his cheeks once more. “Plus, I bet you it’ll be Logan who’d do anything.”

Logan flicked her best friend and the two exited the car.

Flashes and flashes of lights drowned them, but the two knew how to swim.

“Beatrice!” A paparazzi screamed, “Bea!” Another one followed. Bea did some quick poses before running over to the fan area; in particular, a fan who looked scarily familiar.

The ginger was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Philomena!” Logan separated now, wandering around the carpet until she spot sight of someone who made her rage. Yes, she loves him for Bea, yes, he’s so kind – but he broke Bea’s heart once, she’ll be a damn terrible best friend if she lets him do it again.

Running as best as she could in her nude stilletos, she was quickly next to Bea who was talking to a group of ten fans, getting to know them personally. “Hey Bea,” Logan whispered, grabbing her attention.

“Do I need to get interviewed now?” Bea quickly asked, knowing the drill of the events. “I thought I would have more time with fans – I always get-“

Logan interrupted her with two words that made all the air leave Bea’s lungs.

“Tom’s here.”

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badfanfics · 5 years

Text

fallback - chapter one

chapter 1: limelight (august 2017)

this story was previously untitled - many changes happened from original published draft :-)

Spotlights? Check.

Dramatic orchestra music? Check.

Cameras? Check.

And then – the stage floor rose, making the group of eight face thousands of spectators.

Beatrice Downey-Parker felt her heart wildly thumping as the floor below her moved, lifting her and her co-stars from the basement to the stage level. At the sight of the seven stars, the sounds of thousands of fans quickly consumed the stadium – bouncing off each wall, hitting each corner, removing any possible element of silence. Despite the immense amount of pressure that comes with being observed, a smile graced Bea’s face; this is her life. It’s been her life since she was a child. She’s almost centered on stage, waving to the cult following with both hands and a big grin greeting the fans. She was doing what she loved, she was getting credited for her talent, she’s doing it as she meets some of her closest friends and some amazing people. But most importantly, she’s bringing entertainment and joy to the mass audience all whilst meeting some of the most amazing and influential people. The grin and the wave was halted as the interviewer called the group to their seats.

The household name thought she has experienced it all – especially after being an actress since she was eight years old and being one of the top ten list of the highest grossing domestic box-office stars of all time. She has four Academy Awards under her belt. Yet, experiences like this remind Bea that she has yet to experience everything actor has to offer; and it excites her everyday.

“Here we have the cast of DC’s new film ‘Titans’!” The interviewer bestowed before introducing the guests from closest to him, “Director Ana Lily Amirpour, Colin Forth as Robin, Courtney Eaton as Starfire, Beatrice Downey-Parker as Raven, Noah Centineo as Beast Boy, Ray Fisher as Cyborg, Ana Sophia Rob as Terra, and Sylvestor Stallone as Slade Wilson!”

Not only was “Titans” her first comic book movie, but it’s Bea’s first time doing anything without Marvel’s support. That said, it’s also her last time away from Marvel. ‘Too many creative differences’ between Bea and the director against the producers and executives. ‘Too many creative differences’ can also roughly translate to Bea’s and Ana’s expert advice being ignored.

Being raised by her uncle, the Marvel family quickly became her own. Evans and Hemsworth (despite awkwardly initially being her celebrity crushes) were like the goofy uncles, Mackie and Johannson were the uncle and aunt who despised the whole family, Renner was the confused uncle, and Cheadle and Ruffalo were the wise grandfathers. Her favorite comparisons were the Russo Brothers being the eldest brothers who happen to be incredibly creative and therefore asks everyone to participate in their projects, Kevin Fiege being the father who organises and plans everything, while Stan Lee was the supportive grandfather who ensures to go to every minor and major event of his children and their children. As a result, the Marvel producers and Stan Lee desperately tried to fit her into the Marvel Cinematic Universe; having adored watching her grow up in front of her eyes.

DCU, unfortunately, proposed a very beneficial four-year contract for Bea to become Raven. This was all in hope of rebuilding the DCU after a series of cinematic flops; Beatrice Downey has never had a movie rating below 80% - even as a child. In fact, Beatrice was so imperative in publicising the movie that all the articles praising its release, even those criticising the movie, claims “Beatrice Downey saves the film from DC’s corruptive power”. Despite that, the four-year contract between Bea and the organisation was broken – the amount of creative differences were too many to ignore. So, they changed the contract to only last for a singular movie before writing Raven out for the rest of the series. It didn’t meet the initial and ideal vision for the series, but it fit and they didn’t have to do any costly reshoots.

That said, once Marvel learnt about the broken contract; they finally met their intention, and found and adapted the perfect role for her. Gwen Stacy.

a few weeks earlier

“C’mon Bea!” Kevin enthused as he continued to list and try to persuade the girl he watched grow up, “She’s perfect for you! Plus, you and Tom – aren’t you guys super close? Your chemistry will be amazing on screen. Please?”

Bea chuckled sadly, not wanting to correct him. “I’ll have to think about it.” She noted to Kevin, even as he continued to ecstatically proposed the concept the studio and Stan Lee believes is ideal.

“There is no one else I can picture Tom with!” He continued, “Both Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker are such iconic figures and you two will do the roles more than justice.” She found this amusing; he knows she would take it in a heartbeat. Well, if this role was offered to her ten months ago rather than ten minutes ago, she would’ve agreed immediately. But now, she can’t face Tom without feeling a tug at her heart.

In the present, the interviewer had asked about the two most iconic relationships in Teen Titans. In response, Noah beside her took her hand and winked at her, evoking the audience to go wild. They recently announced their current six month relationship to the public, and it was received almost completely amazingly – especially with the whole ‘they met pre-production, initially hated each other, but then during production fell in love!’ angle the publicity managers were taking. Despite the positivity, Bea found herself lingering on the more negative comments; ‘she looked happier with Tom’.

Courtney, sitting beside Bea, laughed. “During re-shoots, it was insane – they were such lovebirds on set.” Bea gritted her teeth; she was never one for public displays of affection – it was Noah’s thing. Especially if they remember that Colin Ford was her first boyfriend ever after meeting on set of ‘We Bought A Zoo’ and she would no way rub a new relationship in the face of another.

Bea quickly glanced to look at Colin’s face who just gave her a subtle nod, silently forgiving her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bea, Courtney, and the two Anas entered the girl’s dressing room – changing out of the clothes that are now stained with sweat from the heat of the spotlights. Bea fell on the couch, falling back and laughing. “That was an experience.” She chuckled.

“Can’t believe you aren’t going to do it with me next year.” Courtney pouted as she took off the jacket the stylist gave her, despite the heat. Over the last year, Bea and Courtney bonded the most. They had to do cast reading and stunt training all whilst having some of the most scenes. Ana, the director, made sure to include as much girl ‘power scenes’ as possible – especially with DC notoriously being male dominant. Bea reached over for her phone in the pocket of the sweatshirt she wore to come here whilst rolling her eyes

Ana Sophia laughed, “You act like there was no drama with execs this year.” She teased, making Bea laugh more. “Alright, how many showers are there?” AnaSophia asked Ana as Ana went to wash her hands.

“Three. One of us will just have to wait.” Ana noted.

“You guys go,” Bea’s speech was slowed as she caught glimpse of a notification on her phone, “I have to answer something.” Courtney noticed her facial expression change – if Bea is anything, she is expressive.

TomHolland2013 sent an Instagram message: Sorry late reply. Thank you for your wishes on Spiderman. I forgot to reply because, well, I didn’t know how to. But, I just wanted to congratulate you on your press today – you always said you wanted a stadium press day…proud of you. Happy for you and Noah btw.

september 21 2016

All she wanted to do when she got home was go to Tom. They weren’t a couple, per say, but everyone they’re close to would claim they were. It was the typical best friends fall for each other cliché, however they knew about and acted on their romantic feelings: kissing, holding hands, hugging, flirting - hell, all their friends comment that when they’re out together, they’re always touching in some subtle way. However, they never wanted to label anything.

She wanted to put on a movie, lie down in his arms as they watch a movie that Harrison, undoubtedly, would snark about. She wanted to calm down from that terrible publicity talk with her agents and the movie studio. They wanted her to fake-date her ex-boyfriend, Colin Ford – who also happens to be in a relationship himself, to increase the publicity for their movie. They wanted DC to be the reason ‘Bea’s first relationship happens again’ but she could never go against her values for her job. She’d never fake who she loves for increased sales.

Love. That’s a funny word for her. Does she love Tom? She thought she knew love when she and Colin first started dating when they played love interests in “We Bought a Zoo” but evidently, she was wrong. They had a nasty breakup, only making up once they had to bond for the movie. Tom was the only real romantic relationship that followed. Yes, she dated – but she never dated. But she never felt the calmness, the love, and the lack of pressure when it came to Tom. With Tom, she was the happiest and she felt like she belonged. She felt like with him, they can shoulder their problems together. They supported each other and did everything for each other. She concluded that to her, Tom was home.

That was her revelation on her way home from the office. She loved Tom. She sought for him and thought of him constantly. She cared for him more than herself. He’s kind, he’s generous, he’s attractive – he makes her heart sing and her feet dance and can instantly put a smile on her face for the rest of the day just from being in his presence. He’s the best part of her day, the highlight of her life – he’s the first person she thinks about whenever she hears any good news or bad news. He makes her want to travel the world with him, learn all the skills in the history of the universe, and she wants to know everything – the good, the bad, the ugly- about him. Yes, he may forget to clean the dishes sometimes and blames Harrison, and he may be trash at keeping secrets - he can also be oblivious – but she loves it. She loves the fact she knows what makes him tick, what makes him annoyed, and what can cheer him. She loves that she knows the topics that makes his eyes light up with a certain spark she can never describe except when she compares it to the north star. She loves all of him. And she wanted to finally label their confusing relationship.

Entering her Los Angeles house that Tom and Harrison are indefinitely residing in, she was biting her lip – containing her excitement. She saw Tom and Harrison coming back into the house after playing a game of basketball, both of them being shirtless. Just the sight of Tom made her feel alive – butterflies flew in her belly from her revelation, but her increased happiness just purely at the sight and thought of him wasn’t new. But, at the sight of him shirtless, her lip may have started to bleeding from biting her lip too hard.

She greeted Harrison as she ran up to Tom, jumping on her back and he caught her – just like she knew he would. He let out a chuckle, spinning her around.

After Tom put her down, she quickly pressed her lips to his. “What has gotten you so affectionate today?” Tom chuckled, placing his hands on her hips as Harrison took their affection as a sign to leave – especially as Tom and Bea both hated the idea of practically making out in front of others. Holding hands and cuddling? Fine. Kissing? Off limits.

“So,” Bea breathed out – her last breath for the next minute as she rambled. “I was at the meeting for ‘Titans’, we’re almost done filming and I just have one last reshoot tomorrow but it’s fine, it’s a simple stunt that you taught me ages ago, but what I wanted to say is that they told me some shit that I have to date Colin again and of course, I got pissed off and I left the meeting and the agents and I denied the whole idea but anyway, on the way home, like I thought of you – and honestly, I always think of you - I cant stop thinking of you, but after that whole idea of faking my love for someone, I just couldn’t do it. And that’s when I realized – I could’ve said yes to the idea before, before I met you. But because of you, I couldn’t. and that’s because I love you, Tom. I love you so goddamn much.” As Bea caught her breath, Tom’s face went through a series of changes in that second; first as if he’s processing, second as if he’s happy, and then third – a look of concern. Anxiety filled Bea. She was never one to confess this sort of stuff on her own. “Tommy, say something.” Silence. “Please.” She begged.

“They wanted you to date Colin?” He asked.

Bea’s eyes widened. “That’s not the point, the point is I love you and I cannot imagine my life without you.”

“You would’ve said yes to dating Colin?” He asked again, his voice sounding broken.

“That’s not the point!” Bea exclaimed, “Were you listening to me?” She chuckled, covering up her nervousness.

“How do I know you’re not dating me for some sick publicity?” Bea felt annoyance. Did Tom ignore her main point? “We met on set while you were visiting. You’re Robert’s niece. What if you’ve been lying to me the whole time?”

“I haven’t.” She scoffed. “I love you, Tom. Did you not hear me?”

“But how can I trust you? You’re an actress, and a fucking fantastic one at that…how do I know you’re telling the truth?”

It felt like a dagger plunged through her heart. “Excuse me?” She sneered, “You’re an actor as well. We’ve been acting for almost the same amount of time.”

The rest of the memory is blurred, broken into fragments along with her heart – but the last thing she remembers is telling him she’ll be back the next morning and they can talk then, going to her best friend and her fiancé’s and staying there for the night, and then coming back to find Harrison packing both his and Tom’s things with a sorry look and a note from Tom calling it a quit’s. She remembers giving Harrison a hug, both of them crying. Harrison was put into a place where he felt like he had to choose between his childhood best friend and his newest best friend (and old celebrity crush, if he might add), and as the decision is evident – Bea had lost her love and two of her closest friends.

Needless to say, after her reshoot of the particular stunt Tom taught her, she came home with a broken leg.

Bealie sent a message: Thanks. Happy for you too, but guess I expressed that in the last message. Still can’t believe homecoming came out last month…

Almost immediately, she received a response.

Yeah. Sad to not see you there. I remember reading it was your first Marvel premier you didn’t attend…btw - heard you were asked to be Gwen Stacy …RDJ told me everything. Will you take it?

She had numerous responses left for him, along the lines of asking if he still or have ever loved her because she sure as hell loved him and he sure as hell had left no response, so she left a more ambiguous question - Do you want me to?

“Yo,” Courtney called out once more, getting that her previous calls for attention was ignored. “You alright?”

The bubbles disappeared.

Message seen.

“Yeah, couldn’t be better.”

taglist :

@charismas-world / @athermosofsad (it didn’t let me tag you so i linked you and hoped it work?)

#tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fan fiction #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction #tom holland series #tom holland x oc #marvel #dcu #dc #robert downey jr x oc #robert downey jr imagines #robert downey jr #tom holland stories

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