Seokjin: The members and I have developed an intricate system of hand gestures to communicate nonverbally. Our go to gesture is the throat slit.
Jimin: so drinks later?
Taehyung: oh shit I can’t I’ve got work.
Jimin: after 5?
Taehyung: YES, JIMIN. I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DEPENDING ON ME.
Taehyung: [playing animal crossing] here’s that apple I promised you, Rex. I told you I’d come through
Namjoon: can i ask u a question
Jungkook: you just did
Jungkook: because that was a question
Jungkook: when you said “can i ask u a question.” that was a question.
Namjoon: why are u in the fish tank
Mugger: give me your wallet and you won’t get hurt
Jimin: *handing over wallet* wanna be my friend?
Jimin: *taking wallet back* but you said :’(
[first day as Uber driver]
Jungkook: any song requests?
Passenger: no thanks
Jungkook: *tuning guitar* you sure?
yoongi: i hate it when ur swatting a fly away and u accidentally touch it
seokjin: i’ve never taken a cold shower bc when cold meets hot there’s a reaction
seokjin: i’m not even that funny
seokjin: “no hyung! you’re hilarious!! we love your jokes!!!”
yoongi: remember that time i told you that you were too friendly to everyone?
hoseok, making tea: no
burglar: two sugars, please
seokjin: hey wanna see a butterfly?
yoongi: seokjin, for the last time, no-
seokjin: (throws a stick of butter across the room)
jungkook: (tapping on the counter)
taehyung: (tapping back furiously)
seokjin: what are they doing?
namjoon: they learned morse code so they could talk shit without us knowing
jungkook: .-.. — … . .-.
taehyung, out loud: SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARD
seokjin: they sound happy
namjoon: so you lied to me?
yoongi: that depends on how you define lying
namjoon: well, i define it as not telling the truth. how do you define it?
yoongi:: reclining your body in a horizontal position
namjoon: so, if your friend jumps off a cliff, you will too?
jungkook: hyung, i AM the friend that jumps off the cliff
seokjin: do you have a wrongdog with you?
namjoon: what’s wrongdog?
seokjin: everything thanks for asking
taehyung: it’s times like this when i wish i had listened to what namjoon had told me
jungkook: why? what did he say?
taehyung: i don’t know i wasn’t listening
seokjin: gotta love knitting needles. i can make a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens
namjoon: what was that middle part?
seokjin: i can make a hat
jimin: well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well…
namjoon: you’ve forgotten what you were going to say, haven’t you?
jimin: what are you doing
taehyung: laying in bed listening to music
jimin: nice what kind
taehyung: it’s memory foam
jimin: no like who’s your favorite artist
seokjin: what did you do?!
taehyung, kitchen burning behind him: my best
namjoon: ok let’s review it again.. what does lgbt mean?
jungkook: let’s get this bread!
namjoon: jungkook no