batfamily-andothers

[batfamily-andothers]

HAVe YOU thought about chubby baby Jason?? Like he's this sweet round cutie pie with curls? and slight freckles on his little button nose??

EVERYDAY.

You CANNOT convince me Bruce wouldn't dot on him 24/7. Pursuing him to actually leave his baby's side in order to do, you know... Anything else is a losing battle.

Additionally, Bruce's reputation as recluse is practically gone.

Baby Jason loves wobbling around the dog park, convenience stores, Gotham Academy halls when Bruce brings Dick his forgotten lunch.

It's not out of the ordinary for the billionaire to lightly jog after that screeching little cherub baby; It's the cutest sight.

Like a cat tracking down it's wild kitten. Or at least, that's how Clark Kent eloquently describes it in the newspaper.

Baby Jason is just as clingy to Bruce, thought.

He wouldn't hide in Batman’s duffel bag, in the Watchtower, otherwise.

It's the first time the league sees Batman actually, truly terrified.

"Turn this around."

"Batman, our mission cannot he annulled. I-- oh. Yes, Jason, I would love to see the bug. Yes. Pretty bug."

Jason coos, setting the little thing free, and makes grabby hands for his dad, who picks him up so fast Clark nearly misses it.

They just can't fathom how this sentient ray of sunshine is related to their Bat. But Bruce is a natural at it.

The only problem with Jason being here is that A) Jason is here.

B) Bruce cannot and will not stop kissing his chubby cheeks, which postpones a lot of their work. Not that they mind. Clark certainly doesn't.

Oliver, something furious and familiar smoking behind his mask, pulls Diana and Clark over.

" Okay. Which one of you did it?"

"Uh, what?"

" I'm not a toilet, so don't bullshit me, boyscout. Which one of you is responsible for THAT,"

He gestures to Hal projecting butterflies in the lunch room, so Jason can chase them. For once, Bruce doesn't look like he wants to burn him to dust. Clark tries not to let that bother him.

"WHAT."

"Amazonian, kryptonian, -- I'm not leaving options out. But my bet is on Diana."

[batfamily-andothers]

Honestly the amount of bullshit Gordon must have put up with from the batfam is incredible.

- Batman’s dissaperings acts

- so many kids angst

- furries

- clowns obsessed with bombs and said furries

- the costumes TM

- Huge light (the bat signal)that needs very specific lightbulbs that is only sold in 1 out of 7 Costco’s but they keep changing which ones

- so many pranks

- having to look the judge in the eyes and tell them that a guy dressed as a scarecrow was taken down by a weapon called a ‘batarang’

- having a literal child telling you that they took down the Russians and that they should clean up the goons

- having a literal child tell you in great detail why the blood splatter clearly indicates that they were killed by a trident, not a pitchfork and then being called an idiot for not figuring it out

- adult man dresses up as a bat and makes his voice deeper only to go around and say shit like ‘I am the night’ and ‘for justice’

- knowing that there are literally gods and people with powers corespondent to gods out there but nun of them will help you bc a middle age man dressed up like a bat told them to stay out of his city.

- yet another LITERAL CHILD breaking into his office and goes through his files and marks out spelling mistakes

- what ever the fuck red hood did this week

- having to hear all these idiots talk about something called ‘the batcow’ but non of them sound sarcastic when they say it

And we are not even touching the things the Wayne’s put him through....

[batfamily-andothers]

Let's start this year with some Gotham city memes, shall we? :D

[batfamily-andothers]

the real sad part about the new users coming in is that all the good urls are already taken. sorry you have to have eight dashes and a lowercase l in your url i guess you should've been here four years ago

[batfamily-andothers]

Damian gets jumpscared by one of his siblings one day and he actually jumps a bit and feels so disappointed in himself. Like what kind of white person in a horror movie shit was that. He's forgetting his Arab roots. He needs to go visit his mom and remind himself where he came from.

[batfamily-andothers]

[batfamily-andothers]

Okay but the Batfam vacationing in Seattle, WA and Jason throwing the fish from Pike’s Place Market at Dick, only for Dick to do cool acrobatic nonsense and throw it Damian who then tosses it to Tim who somehow catches it with his face before flinging it at Bruce who promptly drops it and then slips on it, landing face first in front of a hundred cameras and getting 165k views on tik tok

[batfamily-andothers]

Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

[batfamily-andothers]

*Damian learned the concept of alpha male and demands to be recognized as one*

Jason: It’s not about being an alpha or beta male. It’s not even about being a sigma male.

Jason: The real winner is always ligma.

Damian: What is a ligma?

Jason: Ligma bal- *head slapped by Dick*

[batfamily-andothers]

reblog to stick a fruit sticker on a mutuals’ shirt where they can’t see

[batfamily-andothers]

Tea time with the goddess of death

[batfamily-andothers]

[batfamily-andothers]

I will 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 my mutuals from everything. from the cold. from the five nights at freddys. you will be safe just get behind me

#i love you all

[batfamily-andothers]

rest easy king, sweet dreams

(print of this is now available on inprnt: 100% of proceeds will go to the sarcoma foundation of america!)

[batfamily-andothers]

the idea that it’s ‘creepy’ to interact with things posted a long time ago is so terrible for artists and contributes to the pressure to be constantly creating new work, at an unhealthy and unsustainable rate. I hate it so much.

[batfamily-andothers]

Gotham Textposting (48/?)

[batfamily-andothers]