bbeettle

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not obeying clocks anymore. have shifted to a more intimate form of timekeeping measured by friends’ physical presence, the timbre of a beloved’s voice and my own shifting cycles of despondency.

[bbeettle]

writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.

[bbeettle]

Vintage Espresso Cups by Joe Colombo for Arno

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U want something and then when u get it it’s like omg………… I’m scared

[bbeettle]

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that

[bbeettle]

[bbeettle]

my bed always smells like a bit of you nowadays. it only makes me miss u more.

#oh my love

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another day of my 20s wasted on my phone. good thing i have infinitely more days to be in my 20s and i will never run out of time to make up for it

[bbeettle]

Like Water for Chocolate, Days of Being Wild, Les Félins

[bbeettle]

"you don't know [insert popular tiktok trend]? you must live under a rock" Well i do. for your information i actually live in a thriving soil ecosystem complete with damp moss and various insects including pill bugs, beetles, and ants

[bbeettle]

colorful ecology

[bbeettle]

i love you. you made a mistake? i dont care i love you. you made a wrong choice? love you. you don’t think you’re good for anything? guess what you’re good for loving i love you

[bbeettle]

was eating the most delicious cardamom pastry, beautifully sweet and spiced, and he tells me i smell how it tastes

#remembering this moment <3 #i love him sm

[bbeettle]

"they should be at the club" "they should be at the farmers market" "they should be at the public library" well i should be in my lovers arms but im not am i. life is full of disappointments

#i miss my lover

[bbeettle]

i would trade places with a black bear sitting in a stream right now right now

[bbeettle]

Mahmoud Darwish, Life To The Last Drop

[bbeettle]

as you get older, you realize that you’re not always right and there’s so many things you could’ve handled better, so many situations where you could’ve been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.