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bcboredomig · 2 years
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Ngl the way Anti-Hero struck me was more of “A Monster Calls” vibe, at least that’s how it resonated with me because it’s about coming to terms with harsh truths after lying to yourself and abandoning beliefs and having to finally tell your own story
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bcboredomig · 2 years
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👏🏼 SAVE 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 BEES 👏🏼 OR 👏🏼 WE 👏🏼 DIE 👏🏼
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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some fucker: “If you arent paying for a product, you are the product!” 
me using tumblr costing yahoo a billion dollars: 
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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Mamma Mia! (2008) + letterboxd reviews
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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Con Man's Daughter
Posting this because there isn't enough biodad! John Constantine content.
[Masterlist]
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I feel like this should be a Damianette story or just platonic relationship after Jon got aged-up to seventeen and Damian wanted a friend his age but doesn’t want to admit it.
So basically there is this big bad in Gotham using magic that Batman was fighting at the time and enlisted John Constantine to help out.
John realizes that the villain is using a Miraculous.
“Oh. I think I know how he gets his powers. And lucky for you, Bats, I know an expert on this special brand of magic.”
And he did the smart thing and called up Marinette who at the time was already Guardian and was looking for other lost Miraculouses like in the Treasure Hunter AU I wrote.
He calls her at a really bad time. She was in the process of being chased by the guardians of the place. Monsters and evil spirits.
“Hello, Dad. What do you need and can you do it quickly?”
“Hey, sweetheart, it’s me. How is my little cupcake up to these days?”
“You called at a bad time.” Gunshots.
“WAS THAT A GUN I HEARD? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOUNG LADY?!”
“Somewhere in Japan. Getting a Miraculous. And why can’t you call me to check in on me and not ask me to help you with whatever mess you got yourself into.” More gunshots sounds and it was telling that Marinette was using a gun.
“Where did you get a gun? And don’t you have school?”
“It’s summer break. Don’t worry Maman and Papa know. Well, the fact that I am in Japan anyways.” Marinette sounded a little out of breath. Roaring and horrifying sounds at the other end. “Can we do this later?”
“As it happens, there is a villain going around Gotham with what I think is a Miraculous.”
Swears on the other end.
“Oi. Watch your fucking language, young lady.”
“How about a No and move the fuck back, old man. I am coming over right now.”
“Old man? I am not that old-” as a magic blue portal opens up in the Bat Cave.
And a red Chinese dragon comes out with someone riding it.
Its rider was a black-haired girl. She had a trench coat similar to Constantine's. I imagine her with a fedora. Like Carmen Sandiego style but not red. Sometimes red but only when she has to steal it from a museum or high security places and she leaves a name card with the name Carmen Sandiego. A sword strapped to her back and a dagger to her thigh.
She had a gun in her hand which she used to shoot the monsters as it was halfway through the portal and yelled out the spell to close it.
“Brilliant entrance but you are in lots of trouble, little lady. What were you thinking about going to another country unsupervised? And isn’t there still a butterfly problem in Paris?”
“One, I wasn’t unsupervised. I had Tikki, a billion years old being and a sort of god. Two.Well, it got boring trying to track Hawk-bitch down. And I found this legend about a guy with a Miraculous who disappeared in the temple and thought hey, more miraculous could mean another edge to defeating Moth-man.”
More bickering and John grounding Marinette who was acting very nonchalant about it.
Okay, at this point, I should say that Batman and Robin are in the background trying to make some sense.
Batman is surprised to find out that Constantine has a daughter who is also involved in magic like her Father but an apparently more specialised kind called the Miraculous. He is a little miffed that he didn’t know about John having a daughter. He did consider it weird at first that she had a slight french accent unlike her father’s Liverpool accent although she pronounced some words like he does.
He also connected some dots that she is also the Parisian heroine, Lady Rouge who Wonder Woman introduced to the League a while back and had declined to join the Young Justice or Teen Titans until everything in Paris was resolved.
Damian on the other hand was suspicious of the new arrival and came to the same conclusion as his father about the daughter thing.
Batman after a few minutes, clears his throat.
The Constantines stop arguing.
“Bonjour. Batman. Robin. Pleasure to meet you. I am Mari Constantine and yes, I am this homeless looking man’s brilliant daughter.” “Hey”
“Well, Mari. Your father thinks you can help us with this new criminal turning Gotham upside down. Literally in some cases. He said that you might be able to help us.” Batman said as he pulled up zoomed in picture of the Miraculous.
Mari looks through the Miraculous grimoire and tells them all about it and power-ups, basically the most effective thing to defeat the guy is to get the Miraculous off them. Plus a spell that would make the Miraculous ineffective if casted within a certain radius of it.
“Thank you for the information, Mari. Constantine, let’s go.”
Mari made to follow them.
“You young lady are grounded and staying here.”
“I don’t need another supervillain using the Miraculous which are my responsibility as Guardian to retrieve them for their own misuse and wreaking havoc on the city. And what if there is an akuma in Paris? I can’t go there if I am grounded in the Batcave although it is a cool place to hang out.”
“You can portal back to Paris but you are not going to follow me. Understood?”
“yes. crystal”
“Good. After me and Batsy get the Miraculous, you can do your Guardian duties.”
Damian snickers. Until Batman cut his mood short, “You are staying behind too. Robin.”
“But Father, why? I am much more capable than Constantine.”
“Hey!” Both father and daughter.
Damian is staying behind too because of the Miraculous power or other reasons and keeps an eye on Mari.
Damian stays behind and there were some protests about mari mad about having a babysitter and Damian doesn’t want to be a babysitter. Despite the two of them being around the same age.
“I got an eye on you so no funny business.”
“Okay, Dad, I am not going to have sex with Robin.” Mari said with a shit- eating grin. Robin definitely didn’t blush.
“I hate you sometimes.”
“I love you too, Dad. Go save the world. Byee.”
John eyes her suspiciously because she is not one to give up that easily usually.
He casts a spell to watch her as they leave. and which she totally knew about.
“So...I have one question.”
“Tt, ask and don’t bother me anymore.”
“Is Batman Bruce Wayne?”
Damian looks up, totally caught off guard.
“I am going to take that as a yes.”
Puts sword at her neck. “How did you find out?!”
“Opened up Google Maps and saw that we are under Wayne Manor. Connected the dots. Also I already knew when Dad made a bet with me once to find out Batman’s secret identity but he never did confirm it for me. And can you please not tell your father about this? I don’t feel like being interrogated by the Bat in the future yet.”
“Father must know about this.”
“I saw you looking at Scarlet here. An animal lover then? You can give her some belly rubs. She deserves it after helping me outrun those monsters.”
His silence was brought. To pet a dragon.
One thing after another and he ends up bringing out his pets-Jerry the turkey, Goliath the dragon-bat, Titus- and her introducing him to her other pets like a hellhound, griffin and other mythical creatures who mostly roam free but come to her when she calls for them and also the kwamis, at least the ones who came with her.
After 30 mins have passed, “So Robin how do you feel about disobeying our fathers?”
“Depends. Are we going after the (villain's name) ?” “Yes.”
“I am in.”
Awesome montage of them getting rid of the spell John casted and flying out of the Batcave on their respective giant flying pets to the villain’s base.
Meanwhile, their fathers are not doing so well and are trapped in a death trap. John can’t say the spell because the villain made him unable to talk.
“At least, the kids are staying put.”
Cut to Damian and Mari jumping off their pets and onto the roof. Taking out the guards posted there and going into the building all sneakily and also taking out the guards that come their way.
They dropped into the room where their fathers and the villain is.
“Why am I not surprised?”
Villain starts an evil monologue about his mastermind plan to which Damian cuts it short by trying to cut him down with his katana. Mari goes to deactivate the death trap.
They are evenly matched with Damian’s training and the Miraculous.
Mari steps in as Damian was about to be killed. Taps on the shoulder of the villain and when he turns around, gives an awesome right hook that knocks him out.
Takes away the Miraculous and curses him. Wiped the dude’s memories of it.
“When I said stay in the Batcave, I meant stay behind at the Batcave. What point of being grounded, don’t you understand?”
“You mean, Oh, Mari, light of my life, my wonderful daughter, thank you for saving my ass. You are the best.’ by that, right?”
-----
Mari and Damian exchanged numbers and email addresses.
As she was about to leave the Batcave, “It’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.” and leaves with a wink.
John ‘ungrounds’ her for the look on Batman’s face.
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After this, Marinette and Damian become friends who bitch and vent to each other about their alter egos and various villains of their respective cities. (In codes, just in case) They also share updates about their pets and love of drawings.
They have that type of friendship where they trade favors. Mari calls Damian to Paris sometimes to help out with the akuma of the day and Damian sometimes calls her in when Bruce doesn’t let him go investigate a case so he can sneak out by magical means or as back up for when his brothers were too annoying to deal with.
It’s summer break so no missing school.
John and Bruce are aware of their friendship and some of the shenanigans the pair gets into behind their back.
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Right. how this all started...
John and Sabine first met when the latter was still in college somewhere in France. John was tracking down a demonic entity which was targeting Sabine for some reason and she was the next target.
John saved her life and exorcised the demon. There was a heat of the moment thing and they had a one-night stand. There were a few more flings and hook-ups after that night.
And nine months later, Marinette Cheryl Cheng-Constantine was born.
When Sabine first found out, she called John to come over and he thought that it was a call for another hook-up and was very surprised to find out that it was not and that he was going to be a father.
They both like each other but do not want to be in a relationship together so they both remained as friends and John agreed after some strong-arming at the very least to meet his daughter before he goes to do his job. And pay for child support. And help Sabine during her pregnancy.
Pregnant Sabine was someone you don’t want to mess with. And John has never met a demon or anyone scarier than her.
He was at first not into meeting his child and there was a self-pity party he threw himself with how the child was going to live a bad life because he was the dad and how he destroyed every good thing in his life.
That’s why he is going to meet the baby once and leave maybe a letter and the occasional birthday present and stay out of their life. Forever.
The day Marinette was born and it took one look into her eyes for the HellBlazer to fall under the spell and all of his plans to stay out of her life to burn away.
At first, he tried. He really tried but he couldn’t do it.
Lasted 4 months before he came back, wanting to place protection spells on her and sigils around the house to keep away the forces of Heaven and Hell and other entities so they won’t use her against him as a bargaining chip.
Sabine calls him to babysit. He could have refused and Sabine would have easily found a babysitter. He moans and whines about how he is a great mage and not a bloody babysitter. Sabine retorts that it is actually called parenting since he is Marinette’s father. He grumbles but in the end, agrees.
The great John Constantine is wrapped around the little girl’s finger.
He was around for some of Marinette’s firsts. Her first word was “John”.
It made him cry. He wasn’t a good man and he doesn’t deserve someone this precious. His daughter doesn’t deserve someone like him as a father but fate made it that way and what can you do about it.
After an exhausting week of doing the usual and coming back from Hell, he saw that Sabine had sent him a video. It was Marinette taking her first steps.
Chas swears that in all the years that he has known John Constantine he has never seen the man look so happy.
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When Tom came into the picture, John was there to take care of a toddler Marinette while Tom and Sabine went on dates.
Insert John threatening a much bigger Tom while holding a baby Marinette with wide eyes and hugging a teddy bear with the same coat as John’s. (It was something Sabine brought on a whim and to tease John when he came around.)
Tom is supportive and treats Marinette like his own flesh and blood.
John resolved to leave for good now that Tom would be there to be a father figure for Marinette.
That plan fell into the drain the moment he was going to leave for what was supposed to be the last time before Sabine pulled him back and knocked some sense into him.
His face was a big giveaway. Sabine knows that despite his claims of being a terrible father for Marinette, he was a good one and damnit she was going to make sure that Marinette would get to know her actual father.
Tom later made an awkward talk with John about how he was not going to replace John’s role as Marinette’s father.
Marinette was the flower girl at Tom and Sabine’s wedding. John was there too.
During bedtime, John would read her stories and use his magic to make it come to life. Although he would feel a little drained afterwards, it was worth it to see her smile.
Sometimes he told stories about his tamer adventures. (After cutting out some of the inappropriate bits)
------
When Marinette was about 5 or 6, Sabine was out on an errand and Tom was at home with Mari and helping her with her homework. There was a crash downstairs at the bakery. Tom went down to check it out to find John lying on the ground.
With a weak cough, he said, “Close the door. Close it.” Before losing consciousness
Tom did before a man with pitch black eyes slammed against it.
Thankfully John had installed heavy wards around the bakery when it first opened.
They held against the demon on John’s tail. Tom brought John inside and unsure of what to do, grabbed a rolling pin on the counter.
The man outside started pounding on the glass door and every time his hands touched the door, light glowed outwards, showing the invisible magic barrier around the bakery. Sparks and steams fizzled with every pound.
Despite the reddening and burns of his hands, the not-human didn’t slow down.
“ʝօɦռ....ʏօʊ ӄռօա ȶɦǟȶ ɨȶ'ֆ օռʟʏ ǟ ʍǟȶȶɛʀ օʄ ȶɨʍɛ ɮɛʄօʀɛ ɨ ɮʀɛǟӄ ȶɦʀօʊɢɦ ȶɦɛֆɛ աǟʀɖֆ. օռƈɛ ɨ ɢɛȶ ʏօʊ,” He laughs, the sound sends chills down the large man’s spine, “ȶɦɛʀɛ ǟʀɛ ֆօ ʍǟռʏ ȶɦɨռɢֆ ɨ ɦǟʋɛ քʟǟռռɛɖ ʄօʀ ʏօʊ.”
Tom knew that Marinette’s father was a con man. Come on, Master and Practitioner of the Dark Arts and Occult. But he was a good father nonetheless despite all his flaws and Sabine liked him enough so that was good enough for him.
Before today, magic was just the sleight of hands and use of fancy tools to sell the illusions. Now, with a could-be-a-demon knocking on his door to get to the father of the girl he sees as his daughter, he’s not so sure.
“Tom? Qu'est-ce qui se passe? (What’s going on?)” A little voice came from the stairs, “Dad!” Marinette padded across the floor to the body of her passed out father.
She shook him awake and there were a few soft slaps to the face.
“Dad, what’s happened?”
John mumbles, “Demon…. possessing some rich guy….. Exorcism…. Doesn’t like me very much…Don’t worry...wards going to hold.”
John manages to stand before falling down and Tom catches him before he hits the floor. He has a concussion. Tom turns to Marinette, “Go, Hide and don’t come out until It’s safe.” which she did
Unfortunately, a while later, Sabine returns from her night out and the demon upon seeing Sabine. “ɛӼƈɛʟʟɛռȶ..”
The demon possessed Sabine and the previously possessed dude hit the sidewalk with a thud.
“ɨռȶɛʀɛֆȶɨռɢ....” The voice coming out of Sabine didn’t sound like her mother which scared Marinette a lot. “օքɛռ ȶɦɨֆ ɖօօʀ օʀ,”the demon pulled a knife out of thin air, ,“ȶɦɨֆ ɮօɖʏ ɢɛȶֆ ɨȶ.”
Tom hesitated until the demon put the knife on Sabine’s neck and put enough force for a thin line of blood to be shown.
He opens the door and the demon knocks him out. Stepping over his unconscious body and looking down on it, “ʄօʀ ȶɦǟȶ, ɨ ǟʍ ɢօɨռɢ ȶօ ʟɛȶ ʏօʊ ʟɨʋɛ ʊռȶɨʟ ɨ ǟʍ ɖօռɛ աɨȶɦ ʝօɦռ, օʄ ƈօʊʀֆɛ.” and cackles. The sound was so wrong and unnerving and little Marinette tried very hard for her sobs not to be heard.
Too bad the demon had super hearing. “Come out, my little blossom. Maman is home. Why don’t you come out and give me a hug?”
It sounded so much like her mother and she nearly believed that it was her mother and not some entity in control of her body.
But she knew better from John’s stories of dealing with demons and how they would use the voice of loved ones to lure them out and into a trap. (Definitely not something one should tell as a bedtime story but Marinette was very different and had an unconventional childhood with John Constantine as her father.)
Wait...she got struck with an idea but she wasn’t sure if it would work.
Before she could do anything, the door of the cabinet she was hiding in was opened and she was dragged out.
The demon lifted her a few feet above the ground by the collar of her dress.
It heard Marinette saying something. “աɦǟȶ ǟʀɛ ʏօʊ ֆǟʏɨռɢ ƈɦɨʟɖ, ֆքɛǟӄ ʟօʊɖɛʀ?”
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.” Marinette was now screaming the words at the top of her lungs. She repeated the spell over and over again with fierce determination.
John, being his paranoid self, taught her the spell for an exorcism, just in case. Demons spared no one, not even a girl.
It screamed “NO….” as Sabine’s body contorted in strange angles before a dark shadow seemed to be dragged down into the ground. It made a desperate attempt to possess John before it was pulled away and disappeared. There was no sign that there was a demon attack.
After John woke up, he managed to piece together that his 5-years-old (Sorry 5 and a half) daughter sent a demon back to hell.
He was a very proud dad. (He was a tad worried about the consequences from this event and demons hold one hell of a grudge. He wanted his daughter to live a very safe and happy life. The bakery’s wards also need an upgrade.)
He also got the job of explaining what he actually did to Tom. And lots of reassuring.
Sabine, on one hand, was not happy that Marinette knew how to do magic. That is until John told her that he did it just in case so she can protect herself and later it was agreed that Marinette can learn some Magic spells and charms to better protect herself and when she is older, she can decide if she wants to continue or not.
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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The reason I ship Kagami and Luka is because I accidentally thought of this scenario and I now need them to be canon.
Adrien and Marinette: what are you two doing?
Kagami with sunglasses and drinking a smoothie in the shade with Luka: Luka is teaching me “how to Chill”
Luka: yeah and if you guys could go because you are really bumming out the vibe with your mutual pinning that hasn’t been resolved yet.
Adrien and Marinette: yeah. We get that.
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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Chat Noir: So you remember the plan if I ever get shot, right?
Marinette: Of course.
Chat Noir: What is it?
Marinette: In the case of you ever getting shot, as you fall to the ground, I am to sing MMM WHATCHA SAY no matter the circumstances.
Chat Noir: Very good, princess ;)
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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Marinette: Chat annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.
Tikki: There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Marinette: Ah, but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over.
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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bcboredomig · 3 years
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I want a miraculous ladybug episode where they need to avoid feeling scared (like the episode in szn 1) so they need to think of memories/ppl/etc that make them feel safe and marionette as ladybug thinks of Luka or accidentally says his name and Adrian hears and becomes jealous but doesn’t put together ladybug being marionette
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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How can you even say that the writers ruined Klaus character.... every second of him on screen was prefection.... him having a cult? Iconic. Getting drunk with Allison and Vanya? They did THAT. he was THE MOMENT this season I WONT TAKE CRITICISAM..!
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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*Klaus, sitting in a corner*
Five: what’s wrong with you?
Klaus: I taught Luther some modern slang and he won’t stop using it.
*Luther, throwing a guy across the room. Locking eyes with Klaus*
Luther, pointing: Yeet?
Klaus, tearing up: What have I created?
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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BAU but it’s like,, Ghost Hunters
this was thought up, again, by my friend ((@hotchnersdoormat)) and i,,,
and i know the ghost hunter au is overdone but leave me alone
Hotch -Skeptic
“There has got to be a reasonable explanation for this.”
“Let’s split up.”
Aaron Hotchner 100% believes that ghosts aren’t real, but he will take up “bullying” the ghosts for fun (or just to make Spencer mad)
Houses the team/Hosts the sleepover that always occurs after a long night of ghost hunting
The one who suggests turning what started as something fun the group just liked to do, into a business
Rossi -Undetermined
“Did you see that, Spencer? I think that was a ghost.”
Smug Prankster™️ but most of the time it’s unintentional
Mostly worried about the team’s safety in these places they visit
“Shhh,, Did you guys hear that?” Everyone gets quiet to listen, and his stomach is growling
The one who takes home a “souvenir” and then gets cursed
“All I’m saying is, I didn’t think the little ghost boy with typhoid would miss a fucking rusty clipboard!”
Refuses to “pick a side”
JJ -Believer
Always does her research on the places they go before snooping around
Also knows ALL of the ghost stories about the building they’re in
Usually the one to decide where they’re going next, be it an abandoned hospital, asylum, school, waterpark, all the way to rumored “haunted” hotels
Holding hands with da gf 🥰
Almost ALWAYS tears up when they find old toys in a psyche ward
She likes to imagine the stories the little Raggedy Ann could tell
Emily -Believer
Emily Prentiss only has a fight response
She will fight a ghost
Especially if it’s for her gf
Which is really the worst part, because she’s the one filming their encounters
One moment you see they’re walking down a corridor, next thing you know something blows on the back of JJ’s neck and all you see is a blur
But she usually has the steadiest hands, so they make her hold the camera anyway
Garcia -BELIEVER 200%
Backpack. Always.
Inside of her backpack along with any ghost-hunting equipment imaginable, she also carries around a med kit, snacks, water bottles, flashlights, extra batteries
“DID YOU GUYS S E E THAT??? THAT WAS AMAZING!!”
Very excitable when they think they’ve got something
She doesn’t get scared too often but when she does, you’d better bet her nails are digging into the nearest person’s arm
Derek -Believer but also Dumbass™️
Headfirst into all danger. Supernatural or physical.
Oh, this second story floor seems like it’s about to cave in? Don’t care, we have to catch the ghost. I’ll go, give me the camera.
Scratches appear on his back? You can’t stop him from pushing ahead
Most Likely To Get Killed Or Haunted
Or Possessed tbh
He won’t hesitate to taunt the demons
When he’s not putting himself at risk, he’s spooking Spencer because it’s funny
However,,, if it’s obvious that the kid is about to have a panic attack, he’ll stop immediately
Bullies ghosts with Hotch and Emily
Spencer -“”Skeptic””
Spencer Reid is a skeptic until the floorboard creaks or something falls a room over
Then he’s scared for his LIFE and KNOWS that if they don’t get out of there IMMEDIATELY they WILL DIE
Half the time, he’s the one scaring himself
He talks to try to make himself less scared or calm himself down, but everyone gets mad at him bc “Shhh!! We’re all trying to be quiet, except for you!”
Clinging to either Derek or JJ
They don’t even have to be inside the place yet and he’s already on edge
Just because most of the places they go are dark and abandoned
Begging a few select team members to please stop taunting and bullying the ghosts before they’re killed
And y’know his voice is all high and trembly
Baby™️
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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Is Jimmy Palmer becoming my favorite character? He's just... Too pure
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bcboredomig · 4 years
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Jimmy Palmer from NCIS is bisexual
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