beautifullychaoticworld-blog
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Raya K. She/Her. European from Bulgaria, lived in Scotland for 5 years then moved back:) If you want to know more ask me:). Adults only! IG - kkkrass2 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/rayavox Donate: https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=VSD72495DTGXQ-
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I can barely remember what happened in the summer and autumn of 2016... it's hard to believe that it's been 8 years since then... I think I made a mistake when I went working abroad in the summer and autumn of that year, I think I should've just stayed home. I was pushing my luck too much but it was just not meant to be I guess... letting go of control was what I needed to do.
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Sometimes I regret studying abroad so much... what a waste of money and effort.... I even wonder why I didn't leave the foreign country earlier and how did I put up with all that bullshit all those years lmao.
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men sure know how to make you feel ugly, fat, too short, ignored, unappreciated, unloved and unwanted, that's for sure... not sure that dating is for me anymore as I cannot please them and their unrealistic expectations and pretenses... might as well go back to what I used to do before dating... minding my own business and career... also friendships... I only got hurt and abused after I started dating and it's been a pain in the ass, I can't be like my married friends sorry.
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I'm almost recovered from prolactinoma (no visible tumor on MRI scan anymore, blood tests show that my hormone levels are normal at last) I just need to lose some weight... again... and I am so tired of having to deal with weight gain and trying to lose weight...
I still feel tightness in my pituitary gland area and get headaches sometimes... still gaining weight and hard to lose it... my mental health seems a bit better lately but I seem to be dwelling on the past a lot and feel like I haven't healed fully from the way that my ex-friends and ex-coursemates had treated me (I am so glad that I don't really have to study anymore at least and deal with idiots at school/uni).
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i feel like it's time to change my hair color back to red... but feel like i need to wait longer until September because of work...
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“It is the music we listen to, the films we see, the buildings we inhabit and the paintings, sculptures and photographs that hang on our walls that function as our subtle educators.”
— Alain de Botton and John Armstrong, Art as Therapy
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