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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Short prompt:

Eddie was so smitten with Buck that when asked if his full name was 'Eduardo', Eddie immediately said 'yes'. And then every time someone tried to correct this, Eddie quickly shut them up.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#buddie #buddie prompt #short prompt #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz #smitten Eddie Diaz #fluff and humor #fluff and romance

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Hen: People don't only feel one emotion at a time, Eddie.

Chimney: Which is why you got so angry once upon a time at that blasted grocery store.

Hen: You were afraid. And lonely.

Chimney: And definitely horny

Eddie: Oh my god. Would you piss off?! I mentioned it only once. And Hen, I told you that in confidence!

Hen: Then you shouldn't have poured your heart out to me in a public locker room on a very busy day, Diaz. I tried to stop you.

Chimney: You were doomed the moment I stepped foot in this firehouse, my friend.

Buck: Interesting.

Eddie: FUCK! How long have you been standing there?!

Buck: I was here before you?..

Chimney: The locker room of EMOTIONS.

#buddie #incorrect buddie quotes #incorrect 911 quotes #9-1-1 #Eddie Diaz #Hen Wilson #Chimney Han #Evan Buckley #Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz #Humor #blatant use of teen wolf quotes #Eddie is having emotional conversations in a locker room #big mistake my fren

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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***

Mind you, they did that plenty of times in the years of their friendship, together and separately. But after Buck and Eddie got together their ability to troll everything and everyone in sight dialled up to a hundred. In Chris’ words, it’s like unlocking a secret skill or achieving a new character level in video game.

Now they scheme something together 9 times out of 10. You can’t escape it.

Their usual go-to joke, an everyday thing now, is to put on something ridiculous, like a fake moustache with glasses or a sheet ghost costume when it’s not Halloween. 50% of the reason why they do that is because people will think twice or trice before approaching them. Which they don’t. People tend to speed walk away from them as far and as soon as possible. A foolproof repellent from unwanted advances. The other 50% is that it’s fucking hilarious and it makes their day.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#buddie #buddie prompt #9-1-1 prompt #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Established Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz #Chaotic Buddie #Buck and Eddie are trolls #Humor #Fluff #Buck and Eddie say NO to the flirting from anyone outside of their bubble

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Eddie: Evan.

Buck: ... Eddie?

Eddie: Our hearts are compatible. You've taken mine.

Buck: ...

Eddie: Buck? Was that too much? I'm sorry, I-

Buck: I'm taking my clothes off. Right now.

Eddie: Oh, Ok. Ok, ok, ok. Yeah, great-

Buck: You too.

Eddie: Oh my god.

***

Chimney: Wait. Hold up! He confessed to you with a video game quote?

Buck: I know, right? So cool!

Hen: And it worked?

Buck: My beloved speaks my language. What more can a guy ask for?

Eddie: I think Simon and Markus should've been a romantic story option, people are just cowards.

Buck: > Path unlocked: Husband <

Eddie: > Software instability^ <

Chimney: Kids these days. You and your weird mating rituals.

Hen: Buckaroo in his natural habitat.

Ravi: Ravi just wanted to have ONE quiet shift- oh shit.

*alarm goes off*

Chimney: CAP WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS, PANIKKAR!

#buddie #incorrect buddie quotes #incorrect 911 quotes #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz #Chimney Han #Hen Wilson #Ravi Panikkar #blatant use of Dbh quotes #Buddie are Simkus shippers #just like i am #Chimney is channeling his inner Malfoy #Humor #Buck be like 'im gonna rock your software so hard you'll be a deviant by the end of the night'#Ravi’s like a Ralph just wants some peace and quiet #Buck is a hardcore video gamer and Eddie just sits with him when he plays

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Short prompt:

After Christopher found out about Buck's history with his parents he started to call him 'Evan' equally often as he calls him 'Buck', because he wants to bring Buck the positive feeling about his own name back.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#Buck #9-1-1 prompt #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Christopher Diaz #Christopher Diaz is a national treasure #Christopher Diaz is Evan Buckley's kid #Fluff #Evan Buckley & Christopher Diaz friendship #Evan Buckley Acting as Christopher Diaz's Parental Figure

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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A day in the life of Buckley-Diaz family

Buck and Chris: Why won't you believe us?

Eddie: Because I vividly remember yesterday and I wasn't born during it.

#9-1-1 #incorrect 911 quotes #Evan Buckley #Christopher Diaz #Eddie Diaz #Buckley-Diaz family #blatant use of desperate housewives quotes #Humor #Domestic fluff #buddie #Established Evan Buckley c Eddie Diaz #Everyday life

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Eddie: I love therapy!

Buck: Oh, eh- really?

Eddie: Yeah! It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest and the only topic is me.

Buck: I'm so gl-...! Wait. You don't like talk shows and you hate talking about yourself...

Eddie: Please put me out of my misery.

#incorrect 911 quotes #9-1-1 #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #Eddie VS Therapy #blatant use of Desperate Housewives quotes #Humor #9-1-1 season 5b

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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AU: High school (Adriana’s POV)

***

Adriana got detention for clocking Ana Flores in the face who was talking shit and spreading rumors about Sophia and her friend Shannon behind their backs. Unfortunately for her, Adriana stood right behind her at one of such speeches. Ana’s permanently crooked nose will forever remind her to keep her opinions to herself.

Buck got detention for filling Taylor Kelly’s locker with sewer water balloons after she posted an article about his friends Hen and Chimney with a story of an incident that happened at their previous school between them and some kid named Jonah Greenway who’s in a juvie now.

Buck and Adriana hit it off fast and soon became best friends. Her older brother was really grumpy about that.

***

Eddie is really suspicious of this Buckley kid, who after Adriana’s fight with some snooty brat, hangs out now with his sister all the damn time. Like, what are his intentions, huh? Like hell he will allow them sit in Adriana’s room with a closed door, nah-ah. No, sir! Not on his watch.

Never mind that Adriana was not interested in relationship with anyone. That’s just how she is.

Never mind that Buck gives Eddie, as Adriana likes to call them, stupid heart eyes every time they saw each other.

***

Or the one with a feral best friend Adriana, oblivious and grumpy but smitten Eddie, and awkward but determined and very much in love Buck.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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AU where Shannon is alive.

Eddie, Shannon and Buck are co-parenting Christopher. Shannon and Buck are chaotic friends who love to mess with people, and Eddie is just along for the ride.

One day from the Diaz family, school fare

Ana: Hi, Christopher! I didn’t see your dad yet... Is it only Mrs Price here with you today?

Chris: Nope, I’m here with my parents. Ah, yeah, there's my dad! Buck!

Buck: Heeey, buddy, here’s your caramel apple.

Ana: He is not your father.

Buck: Oh, wow. Did you hold a candle or something?

Ana: No, but I mean it’s obvious you’re not his father-

Buck: My 9 months of carrying this hyperactive watermelon are beg to differ.

Chris: Hey now!

Buck: Adorable little hyperactive watermelon 😘

Chris: ☺️💖

Buck: His mother, on the other hand, tragically, is not here with us any-

Shannon: Oi! Quit telling people I’m dead!

Chris: Sometimes we still hear her voice.

Shannon: Oh, my freaking god! I was gone for like 5 minutes, not years.

Ana:

Meanwhile, somewhere at the school yard, lost in the sea of other parents

Eddie, every time someone refers to Christopher as Buck’s kid:

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Slightly drunk Ramon Diaz at one of the close family gatherings

Ramon: You know I don't believe in signs from the universe and whatnot...

Buck: Sounds familiar.

Ramon: ... but I think Eddie was always destined to be a firefighter.

Eddie: Thanks, dad. That's- that's really nice of you *touched*

Helena: Oh, no. No, no, no, please stop talking.

Eddie: What mom? This again? You think I'm not good enough for my job?

Helena: Honey, that is NOT what I mean-

Eddie: I thought we were past this!

Helena: We are, Eddie, of course we are! It's not what you think.

Eddie: Then what?

Helena: Sweety, trust me, you really don't want to know what's this about.

Eddie: I'm confused.

Buck: I'm kinda curious now.

Ramon: ... AS I WAS SAYING, the firefighting is in your blood, mijo. Did you know I was a firefighter in EPFD for, like, two years?

Eddie: Wow. No, you never told me or girls that. Why did you stop?

Ramon: I got fired. It was worth it.

Helena: Älskling, I'm begging you to stop talking.

Buck: I bet there's a story there.

Ramon: You goddamn right there is!

Eddie: What happened?

Ramon: It was your fault!

Eddie: Excuse me?!

Ramon: I got fired 'cuz our Edmundo was conceived in a fire TRUCK!

So, Eddie, mijo. You too, Evan! If my next grandkid is gonna be conceived in a firehouse, make sure you don't get caught, don't repeat my mistakes.

Eddie:

Buck:

Eddie: Mom?! *traumatized*

Helena:

#ficlet #buddie #incorrect buddie quotes #incorrect 911 quotes #9-1-1 #Ramon Diaz #Helena Diaz #Eddie Diaz #Evan Diaz #drunk Ramon Diaz is a hilarious thing #exasperated Helena Diaz #traumatized Eddie Diaz #scheming Evan Buckley-Diaz #established Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz #Old married couple Helena and Ramon Diaz #i don't know but i find them adorable as a couple if they are written as good and redeemable people #implied mpreg #turns out Ramon and Buck have a lot in common #both had a wild youth #😂#humor #embarrassing parent #the day you find out that ur parents got it on in a fire truck is the day you wished you'd never been born #my headcanon is that Eddie took after his mother since he spent most of his childhood more around her than his dad #and because she's sensible #except when she decided to do some rompy-pompy with her hubby in a place of work

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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I had this weird fucking dream where...

Peter Parker is at the meeting with the Avengers. They know that he's a Spider-Man, so he's sitting in civilian clothes. Peter is really distracted and almost falling asleep in his seat.

Then someone made a remark at him, something like:

I'm sorry, are we boring you with world's problems?

And he blew up. Because he's a 16-year-old single dad, whose ex-girlfriend is fuck knows where and has no interest in raising their kid. He's a high school student, who's a part time superhero and the whole time dad, it's 24/7 job. He's exhausted.

Suddenly his babysitter is calling and Peter is arguing with them about something. The Avengers are gawking.

Then he angrily storms out home to his son, it seems like he'll need a new nanny.

Everyone is shooketh.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#Marvel prompt #Spider-Man prompt #Tom Holland's Spider-Man #Peter Parker #The Avengers #Spider-Man #Single dad Peter Parker #Teenage single parent Peter Parker #Exhausted Peter Parker #Peter is a good dad #Dream that turned prompt #I have no idea why i dreamed this i wasn't even thinking about Marvel #but i like where this is going

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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I got tired of fics where Buck is people pleaser, all friendly and bashful and can't just say no when people are hitting on him, even when he's obviously uncomfortable, because he's afraid to upset anyone. Like, this is such bullshit and makes me really uncomfortable.

So, here's the idea:

I need a whole fic with bunch of different situations, from school bake sales/science fares/PTA meetings to bar hangouts where Buck is indifferent to strangers' flirting.

He's not polite, not exactly rude, just cold, because he hates when people come to him with that intention when he is visibly and obviously busy working/talking with his friends/spending time with his partner and their kid, for Christ’s sake! Like, have you no shame? Are you deliberately being obtuse or are you just plane stupid?

Buck shuts down every attempt at flirting before it even has a chance to be finished. He doesn't let anyone to come closer into his personal space, let alone touch his hand or other body part. He has boundaries, never gives anyone hints that he's open to flirting/hook ups/dating or gives mixed signals.

✨Featuring✨

Every time some brave (read: arrogant) soul tries to hit on his Eddie when it's obvious that they're on a date (hellooo, Buck is practically on Eddie's lap with how close they are sitting, there's no way you interpret that as platonic bro hug), it is enough for Buck to give the intruder a hard, unimpressed look and the poor bastard is tripping over themselves trying to get away from there fast.

Eddie's judging harsh silence plays a huge part too. You do not interrupt BuckandEddie date without facing some consequences.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#buddie #buddie prompt #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz #BuckandEddie #Buck is not a people pleaser #9-1-1 prompt #Fuck bashful - it's 'Buck has boundaries' era #Eddie Diaz' Look of Judgment™

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Short prompt:

* * * *

Eddie sincerely didn't notice that Buck kept borrowing his clothes until there was nothing left, and Eddie stood before flustered Buck, angrily but actually fondly lecturing him about doing laundry in time while standing in only his Christmas boxers with Rudolph the Reindeer on his ass (a gift from Buck last year after Eddie announced that he was leaving the 118, his best friend sure can be bitter when he really wants to, hence the boxers of doom).

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

#buddie #buddie prompt #9-1-1 #short prompt #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #humor #Buck the Clothes Thief #angry but fond Eddie #this is how they got together #Eddie secretly loves his stupid underwear #'cause it's a gift from Buck #pre relationship evan buckley x eddie diaz

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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Part of AU: Buck is Danny Williams' son

***

Danno: What is the matter with you, huh? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?

Buck: It was a tsunami, dad! It’s not like I planned it!

Danno: Nah-ah, zip it, kiddo! I’m talking, you listening now, you know the drill.

Buck: Oh, boy, here we go...

Danno: Do not sass me, mister. Do you want me to end up with gray hairs before I’m even forty?

Steve: You’re 44, Danny.

Danno: Shut it, McGrarrett! We don’t need remarks from the peanut gallery!

Buck: Ooh, someone’s in a doghouse-

Danno: OKAY, THAT’S IT! You’re grounded.

Buck: I’m 28! You can't ground me!

Danno: Watch. Me.

Eddie and Chris:

#incorrect 911 quotes #incorrect Hawaii 5-0 quotes #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Or Evan Williams #Danny Williams #AU: Buck is Danny Williams' biological son #humor #brief Eddie Diaz appearance #he's there just to look pretty #brief Christopher Diaz appearance #Williams' like father like son #Both sassy bitches #Post-tsunami

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because-i-am-barely-even-human · 2 years

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I've seen a lot of fics where Buck is an honorary little brother/son of Steve McGrarrett, but I don't really see any resemblance between them except that both of them were SEALs (or in Buck's case, almost SEAL) and they have a tendency to dive into the danger, because they know they have needed skillset (much to Danny's and Eddie's chagrin).

So, I would really love to see the story where Buck is actually related to Danny.

Danny be like 44 years old, if Buck is 28.

Buck is not a Buckley, but a Williams in this one.

Buck and Maddie don't have big age gap.

AU: Buck is Danny Williams' biological son

***

Buck is actually Danny Williams' son. He was born when Danny was in high school (16-17 years old). Buck did not grew up with Buckleys, they are just his distant relatives, but he was close with Maddie like she was his sister, so that's what he was telling everyone when people asked about her.

Buck despises Phillip and Margaret after seeing the way they treated Maddie (basically ignored her) during the years she still lived with them. And because they looked at him weird and sometimes tried a little bit too much to make him stay in their house and often call him Danny. He thought they were confusing him with his dad, but that wasn't the case here. Maddie told him what really was going on when she heard about this.

And then they told Danno about this clownery, he gave Phil and Marge a signature Williams lecture (everyone and their neighbour heard his yelling), and from then on Buck and Maddie only saw each other at Williams' house or in public places, never at Buckleys' again. Then Danny and Buck moved to New Jersey and Maddie ran away to live with them. So no Doug happened under Danno's watchful cop eye.

***

The 118 never had a chance to cross paths with Danny despite Buck's numerous hospital visits, they were always too late to catch him. Evan never really talked about his dad, so the only thing they know is that he grew up with a single parent and that he's from New Jersey.

Buck just likes to keep some things close to chest.

They assumed that he had a strained relationship with his father.

Imagine the team's surprise when they see an explosive short blond with a tall military like guy in Buck's hospital room caringly yelling at Buck with Eddie and Christopher sitting in the background watching them like a ping-pong match.

So, Buck's life wasn't tragic like in canon, which means he doesn't have abandonment issues at all, 'cuz Danno is a kick-ass dad 🔥

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This is a ficlet but I don't mind if someone wanted to expand it into a full-fledged fic, with dialogues and lots of funny scenes. Just give me credit for the idea and link to this post.

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If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.