bennyschwatz

[bennyschwatz]

my teacher in zoom: you need to pay attention today, it’s very important for your exam

my brain: i was born in 1981 fuck was my cock huge when i came out the doctor was like whoa, is that another baby? sebastian, baby! anyway i had a pretty good life uh i think about it lately and you know you know one time i jumped off mount everest and landed on my feet anyway two people are getting married boopity bop bippity bam sebastian in the house i drop the mic into champagne i pick it up i drink the champagne out of the mic i throw the mic into the audience shit is that a yo-yo? back to my hand i go oooooh! i do five minutes of really cool stand-up i sing three of the most popular songs you’ve ever heard of in your goddamn life

[bennyschwatz]

He credits his hair to “Judaism” and I…. 😮‍💨

He’s such a goof and I am here for it.

[bennyschwatz]

To infinity… and right back because infinity is terrifying. Space Force Season 2 is coming to Netflix on 2/18!!!

#ooooh #nice

[bennyschwatz]

ben schwartz and chris pratt are like opposites because every time ben schwartz gets a role as an iconic cartoon or video game character everyones like “haha there goes ben schwartz again voicing another classic blue character. love that guy” but every time chris pratt gets a role as some beloved character everyones like this fucking sucks actually.

#as it should be #😌

[bennyschwatz]

Have you ever noticed he does this a lot, or no?

#absolutely love this #ben schwartz

[bennyschwatz]

Tina Fey about Ben Schwartz

[bennyschwatz]

the duality of man

[bennyschwatz]

ben schwartz looking into the camera like he’s on the office.

that’s it that’s the post.

(x)

[bennyschwatz]

Oh my god look at this photo Ben just posted

#absolutely adorable

[bennyschwatz]

And that’s a wrap on Space Force Season 2. ( x )

#space force

[bennyschwatz]

“I’d never seen someone alive comedically the way Ben Schwartz is, plus such inherently lovable mojo to that kid, and he brings comedic life to every single scene he’s in.”

— Shawn Levy, director of This is Where I Leave You (2014) (x)

[bennyschwatz]

#ben schwartz

[bennyschwatz]

Parks and Recreation Season 7 Deleted Scenes | Part 1 of Jean Ralphio Saperstein in “2017″ (p2)

#parks and rec #jean ralphio saperstein

[bennyschwatz]

Parks and Recreation Season 7 Deleted Scenes | Part 2 of Jean Ralphio Saperstein in “2017″ (p1)

#parks and rec #jean ralphio saperstein

[bennyschwatz]

me about having kids

#the earliest show

[bennyschwatz]

Ben schwartz is one of the hottest american comedians around today and no one is talking about it.

#you’re right

[bennyschwatz]

I hope I don’t get driven to the point where, to be honest, I’m never satisfied. I hope there’s some part of me that can be content.

#❤️❤️❤️❤️ #ben schwartz