bills-pokedex

bills-pokedex

The Pokédex According to Bill

Bill, The True-Blue Pokémaniac, Entry: Genius extraordinaire and renowned Pokémon expert who wishes to share his wisdom with the internet.(Ask box: Temporarily closed! See you soon!)FAQ | Index | Tags {Chat with the Mun (opens in Discord)}

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bills-pokedex·2 days agoAnswer
Hi bill I’m a bit confused about something and need advice. I currently have an awesome little venipede and I think he’s close to evolving. My question is how on earth do you feed a whirlipede? It doesn’t seem to have any mouth visible and I need to know before evolving him.

When viewing your whirlipede from the front, take note of where his larger spikes are. Beneath these will be a set of smaller spikes that he will likely rest on when standing still. (Your whirlipede will always be “rightside up” for him, so these spikes will always be in the same place.) About halfway between these two sets of spikes, find a gap in his shell a little wider than the other gaps between plates going along his body. Within this gap is his mouth. If you wish to feed your whirlipede a treat, carefully nudge the treat into this gap, or set it on the ground and let your whirlipede take it himself. If you’re trying to feed him his regular meal, simply set a shallow poké food dish on the ground, and he’ll take care of the rest.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·2 days agoText

{Yet another blog-inspired food recipe, only this time, also inspired by the mun’s cooking habits while working from home because apparently, she’s gone full-on Bill in this period of social distancing. Please block #food if you don’t want these shenanigans. Whitelist #food if you want to eat like these characters and maybe feel shame for it later.

Baked Tofu Recipe
“I’ve been eating nothing but tofu since my cook went on vacation.”
— things Bill has actually said in canon, this absolute legend

You’ll need:

- 1 block firm or extra firm tofu

- 2 tablespoons olive oil, or a neutral oil of your choice

- 2 tablespoons flour or arrowroot starch (optional—see notes below)

- garlic powder (to taste)

- onion powder (to taste)

- sea salt (to taste)

- black pepper (to taste)

- (or spices of your preference—idk, go hog wild my folks)

Serve with:

- Rice (any variety)

- Vegetables (your choice)

To make:

1. Press your tofu. For those who don’t work with tofu all that often, what this means is you take the entire block of tofu, wrap it in clean cloths or paper towels, put it on a plate or cutting board, and place weights (usually the pan you’re going to be working with, plus anything else heavy enough to press down on the block) on top for a half an hour. Make sure the weights are even.

2. At the same time, preheat your oven to 400 degrees F (about 204 degrees C).

3. Once the tofu is fully pressed, unwrap and cut the block into one-inch pieces. (Hint: Cut into thirds the long way and into quarters the short way, and you’re pretty much there.)

4. In a bowl and using a rubber spatula, carefully toss the tofu with your olive oil until fully coated. Feel free to add more oil if need be. (Note: You can use a wooden spoon too, but beware about using metal utensils. Tofu is delicate, even the extra firm kind, so a lot of abuse could make it break up.)

5. Add your flour (optional) and spices, then toss until your tofu is fully coated.

6. On a pan lined with parchment paper (Parchment—don’t be an idiot like I was the first time I made this and confuse parchment for wax, or you will have a bad time.), arrange your tofu chunks in rows, with plenty of space between them. 

7. Bake for fifteen minutes. While it’s baking, start your rice, according to the package/your favorite cooking method. The mun throws hers in a beat-up rice cooker and forgets about it. Bill probably does too.

8. At fifteen minutes, use a set of tongs to turn each chunk of tofu over. Be careful, especially if you’ve coated your tofu with flour, as it’s easy to pierce the sides (which you do not want). Put the pan back in the oven and bake for another 15 to 20 minutes, or until your tofu is golden on the outside and just crispy enough for your liking.

9. After 15 to 20 minutes, pull the tofu out and let it stand for a few minutes. The tofu will be molten hot, and they will burn the everloving crap out of your mouth if you try to eat it immediately. While you’re waiting, prepare your vegetables any way you’d like. (The mun lightly sautées some baby bok choy or cabbage, usually.)

10. When the tofu is cool enough for your comfort, serve it on top of a bed of rice, with a side of vegetables and topped with a nice, healthy coating of soy sauce.

Note the first: Flour or arrowroot starch can be used to give your tofu a crisper, browner texture on the outside. It’s not completely necessary, especially if you’re already using garlic and onion powder (which do the same job, really).

Note the second: The above recipe suggests serving this dish with rice and vegetables, but if you really want the authentic Bill experience, you’ll probably want to nix the vegetables or serve them raw. The tofu is often still edible, but the vegetables are either overcooked to Hell or, knowing Bill, just chopped and thrown on top haphazardly because there’s research to be done, and honestly, who has time to do things like watch a frying pan for two minutes?

Enjoy!}

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bills-pokedex·3 days agoAnswer
Hi Bill! The hydrophobic electric type trainer here! Through patience and a lot of communication, I've figured out that my Eevee isn't exactly interested in becoming a Vaporeon specifically, just wants me to work through my fears! Although, she's not really set on any evolution in specific so I'm looking into maybe having her evolve into a Vaporeon as a way to help. Still looking at my options on that. Either way, thank you for the help!

It’s excellent to hear she cares about you so much she wants to help! I would certainly recommend floating (no pun intended … okay, maybe a little intended) that idea to her and seeing what she thinks, but remember to emphasize that evolution is her choice. Best of luck with facing your fears!

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bills-pokedex·4 days agoAnswer
Hey Bill, I recently caught a Lapras, she's super sweet but one thing really worries me. She has a tendency to Constantly try to use Perish Song, even..Or rather, Especially outside of battle! I'm think she might be trying to sabotage my Toxtricity, Noivern and Obstagoon's practice time (affectionately labeled "Loud Time") or she's trying to join them, albeit unconventionally? Any advice at all to make sure they all stay safe? I don't think Lapras is malicious, but I've never trained one before.

It’s very unlikely she’s malicious, yes, but she may have some difficulty discerning Perish Song from ordinary singing—or discerning that Perish Song is significantly riskier to use than what your other pokémon may be using during Loud Time. There are two ways you can handle this. The first is simply teaching your lapras that Perish Song is not an appropriate substitute for regular singing and encouraging her to tone it down a bit, no pun intended.

The second might be a bit more lucrative for her and her partners: teach her Round, via Galarian TM. (You may be able to find a copy via online markets—they’re easier to find than one might think.) Teaching her Round will allow her to express herself with the same fervor her partners exude, but it will give her an avenue that’s less dangerous than, well, a move that will lull everyone who hears it into an intensely deep sleep.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·5 days agoAnswer
Howdy from Unova, Bill! I have a bit of a small problem, because my Piloswine loves to swim in the kiddie pool I have in the backyard for....well, the kids. I'm not too concerned because it's so shallow; my problem lies in the fact that he comes back inside smelling like...well, like a wet Piloswine. Also, the pool ends up with fur all over it...

Well, there’s not much you can do about the hair in the pool, I’m afraid. Piloswine naturally shed quite a lot during the summer months in order to ensure that they don’t overheat. (This is especially true for the beginning and end, as your piloswine will likely be either shedding its winter coat to make room for its considerably thinner summer or vice versa.)

But when it comes to the smell, that’s a bit easier to maintain. Make sure you brush your piloswine daily (this will also help mitigate the first problem, though not by much), and as soon as he steps out of the pool, get him dry as soon as possible using plenty of wet towels or a dryer on its lowest possible setting. During his regularly scheduled baths, consider using a shampoo designed to moisturize the skin beneath his fur (dry skin may encourage bacterial and fungal growth), and in between those baths, consider using a pokémon-friendly scent neutralizer.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·6 days agoAnswer
Joltik used to get on my bed with me to cuddle but now he is a galavantula and he is too big and steps on me. How do I untrain this?

Step one would be to make sure your galvantula has a comfortable bed of his own. Provide him with nesting materials and encourage him to craft his own nest in a clean space large enough to allow him to rest comfortably. I would also recommend housing the bed in the same room as yours (just be sure that it’s more comfortable and appealing than your own), then slowly moving it to a different room if you so choose. Housing your bed and his in the same room at first will encourage him to use his own, as you’re basically placing his resting area in a comfortable, familiar location, rather than someplace he wouldn’t recognize immediately upon waking up.

After that, begin training in the same manner you would with any other pokémon for any other reason. If he tries to climb back into bed with you, gently nudge him in the direction of his bed. If he immediately goes to his bed and rests, reward him with praise and/or treats. Continue doing this until he goes to his bed without any issue (including getting out of it in the middle of the night to climb into yours).

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·7 days agoAnswer
If I may ask, what regional versions of Pokemon are you extremely interested in?

Frankly? All of them. I’m extremely fascinated by the fact that pokémon can live in all sorts of places and, by extension, take on all sorts of forms. It’s incredible how they can adapt to practically any environment, sometimes even far better than we humans can. I would do just about anything to learn more about all the ways pokémon live across this planet!

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bills-pokedex·7 days agoAnswer
Hello! I’m the trainer of a Wobbuffet, but he’s been acting odd lately. He gets into my makeup and uses my lipstick to pretend to be a female Wobbuffet. I have nothing against this, but I’m worried about the lipstick itself- is it safe for him to use? And if not, is there a way I could get him an alternative? I love him very much, and I don’t want him to get himself sick.

So long as your wobbuffet is simply applying it and not eating it, they should be perfectly fine. Lipstick only contains wax and dyes which are typically safe for consumption in minute doses; this is why we can happily apply it to ourselves with no ill effects.

However, I say application is fine but eating is not for an important reason: pokémon that are more animal-like in nature (such as yamper) may actually eat, rather than apply. Lipstick is still not technically toxic in their case either, but if they eat a large amount of it (for smaller pokémon, that would be a full tube, while larger ones may need more than one), the wax will pass quickly through the digestive system, causing upset. The plastic containers may also result in far worse if your pet pokémon had been chewing on it.

In other words, it’s absolutely okay to let your pokémon apply lipstick, but make sure to keep your makeup out of reach if they’re prone to eating it.

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bills-pokedex·8 days agoAnswer
Hello! I’m the trainer of a Wobbuffet, but he’s been acting odd lately. He gets into my makeup and uses my lipstick to pretend to be a female Wobbuffet. I have nothing against this, but I’m worried about the lipstick itself- is it safe for him to use? And if not, is there a way I could get him an alternative? I love him very much, and I don’t want him to get himself sick.

So long as your wobbuffet is simply applying it and not eating it, they should be perfectly fine. Lipstick only contains wax and dyes which are typically safe for consumption in minute doses; this is why we can happily apply it to ourselves with no ill effects.

However, I say application is fine but eating is not for an important reason: pokémon that are more animal-like in nature (such as yamper) may actually eat, rather than apply. Lipstick is still not technically toxic in their case either, but if they eat a large amount of it (for smaller pokémon, that would be a full tube, while larger ones may need more than one), the wax will pass quickly through the digestive system, causing upset. The plastic containers may also result in far worse if your pet pokémon had been chewing on it.

In other words, it’s absolutely okay to let your pokémon apply lipstick, but make sure to keep your makeup out of reach if they’re prone to eating it.

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoAnswer
My great-grandmother and her parents (my great-great grandparents) were apricorn pokeball smiths and we still have some of their old tools around passed down through the family. One of these heirlooms is a shell (just the outside parts) of a love ball. Do you think it could still work if we could get the right innards together?

If the shell is in good condition, absolutely! In fact, you’re describing a rather old albeit fairly rare hobby: antique poké ball restoration. It’s a hobby in which people take poké balls that could be years, decades, or even centuries old and get them functioning again. Sadly, due to the delicate nature of antique balls’ inner hardware compared to the durable-by-design outer shell, the mechanisms within these balls would often fail after a few decades. (Normally, this would spit a pokémon out, just as a modern ball would do.) As such, inner mechanisms are perhaps the most common thing to replace. 

On the positive side, this also means it shouldn’t be too difficult to find replacement parts or even an entirely new capture mechanism if you know where to look. Consider starting with PokéBay. Parts there are cheap but well made, and occasionally, you can find a seller who will create replica mechanisms from specific eras for a more authentic look, inside and out.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoText

bills-pokedex:

{Hey, all! I also wanted to let you know that if you’re looking for a bunch of people to hang out and ride out self-isolation with, check out the mun’s Discord? We have a channel dedicated to discussing the outbreak, plus plenty of spaces to check in with each other. More importantly, we’ve just started setting up frequent voicechats to make sure our members know they’re not alone. If you happen to be a writer, we’re also doing a group project together specifically to stave off both boredom and anxiety, plus our usual Camp NaNo/community group uplifting event is right around the corner.

If you’re shy, no worries—we welcome everyone!

Click here if you need to chill with people: https://discord.gg/naQgwuC 

Otherwise, take care!}

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoText

{Hey, all! I also wanted to let you know that if you’re looking for a bunch of people to hang out and ride out self-isolation with, check out the mun’s Discord? We have a channel dedicated to discussing the outbreak, plus plenty of spaces to check in with each other. More importantly, we’ve just started setting up frequent voicechats to make sure our members know they’re not alone. If you happen to be a writer, we’re also doing a group project together specifically to stave off both boredom and anxiety, plus our usual Camp NaNo/community group uplifting event is right around the corner.

If you’re shy, no worries—we welcome everyone!

Click here if you need to chill with people: https://discord.gg/naQgwuC 

Otherwise, take care!}

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoAnswer
Don't worry, Bill! I know it's frustrating now, but I'm sure eventually you'll get the hang of this shifting and these abilities! I bet it's like any kind of skill--you start our terrible with no idea what you're doing and you fail a lot and learn from that until you figure out what you're doing! Like a baby can't walk, they gotta fall on their face a lot until they learn how to stay upright! If you keep trying eventually I'm sure you'll figure out this weird stuff that's happening!

{Reminder: If you’re just here for headcanons, please blacklist powerverse!}

Thank you, anonymous! This is a wonderful, encouraging sentiment!

It’s also imperative that I do, as I feel like my partner will recall me and deposit me into the system if I don’t.

Wait a second.

[Bill looks over to Lanette. “What do you think about—”

“Before you even finish that sentence,” Lanette says, “no, I am not recalling you and depositing you into the system, for science or otherwise.”

Bill nods, sets down his phone, and resumes cleaning up the kitchen floor. “Okay.”]

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoAnswer
Per that question about one-hit KO moves, what about Perish Song? Is that dangerous?

No, actually, for reasons that aren’t well understood, Perish Song simply doesn’t have any sort of effect on humans. Pokémon are entirely different matter, of course, but the barriers that confine moves to the battlefield also filter Perish Song enough, until it becomes harmless to bystanders. At most, a spectating pokémon will feel extremely drowsy sometime after hearing it, but it really depends on their sensitivity to sound.

Of course, it’s also worth it to note that Perish Song doesn’t kill a pokémon, as popular belief states. Rather, it puts them into an extremely deep sleep that’s far more difficult to rouse from than a normal, everyday nap. It’s technically the least destructive or harmful way to take a pokémon out of a battle.

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bills-pokedex·9 days agoAnswer
How much Flygon does Bill have to be to use moves (assuming he still can)? It's kinda funny to picture human Bill using Dragon Breath, but I reckon that's not the case.

{Reminder: If you’re just here for headcanons, please blacklist powerverse!}

Shockingly, not much at all. It seems that so long as I have an analogous body part to use such a move, I can, well … use that move. (For example, I can easily use Dragon Claw because I have hands. I can’t use Dragon Tail if I don’t have a tail … supposedly, anyway. I now regret not having taught myself Dragon Tail to test this.) The only difference is that my abilities grow notably weaker the more human I am.

My theory is that the elemental energies I control as a flygon don’t really go away once I take on a more human form. It would make sense, anyway, given that elemental energies don’t cease to exist once a pokémon transitions from one form to another via evolution, although I suppose they do in a way for forms such as in the case of rotom, and…

Well. It’s a bit complicated, I suppose.

[Imagine this: Bill stands in his kitchen, leaning against the table. In his left hand is a cup of coffee.

Normal enough? Great. Now set his right hand on fire, and you’ll have Lanette’s afternoon so far.

She sits at the table adjacent to her partner, pretending like her attention hasn’t wavered from the maintenance reports she’s going over and certainly not to the glove of violet flames currently surrounding her partner’s hand. She is certainly not watching him warily as he wiggles his fingers, as the Dragon Claw responds like it’s an extension of him. Nope. This is completely normal and something that will definitely not end in disaster.

“You know,” he says, “it’s weird that I can do this.”

Lanette forces her eyes back to the laptop. “It’s weird that you don’t think that’s a hazard.”

“What? This?” Bill glances over to Lanette. “Come on, Lanette. How is it a hazard?”

Now that he thinks she hasn’t been staring at him, she hazards a look. A mildly judgmental look, with only a quirked eyebrow to betray just how much she’s judging him for thinking it’s not dangerous to light his hand on fire with his thoughts.

“Bill, your hand is on fire,” she says.

“It doesn’t hurt, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He pauses. “Though it tingles a little.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then…?”

“How much of the Sea Cottage is made of wood?”

Bill smiles and rolls his eyes, as if to give her a “don’t be ridiculous” in as friendly a manner as possible. “Lanette, this place has survived typhoons, earthquakes, and a giant dragonite. I think it can survive a little bit of dragon fire. Besides, we both know dragon fire behaves differently than the other sort. Still, if it would help at all…” He curls his hand into a fist, snuffing out the fire. “There. Completely under control.”

Lanette watches Bill place his right hand on the table. He leans against it, but her eyes are firmly on that hand, as if waiting for what she’s pretty sure is inevitable.

“Just like you had your transformations under control?” she asks.

“That was different,” he responds. “And I’m getting better. I haven’t had an incident in over a week.”

“Uh huh.”

Bill downs the rest of his coffee and places his cup on the table behind him. “Come now, Lanette. I promise you I’ll be responsible with this. Everything will be fine, and you don’t have to worry. You’re safe.”

A frown creases Lanette’s face, and her fingers begin flying across her keyboard. “It’s not my safety I’m worried about.”

“Then what’s on your mind? You can tell me.”

Her partner flexes his left hand now, eyes intently on it. She spies this gesture out of the corner of her eye and immediately sweeps her laptop off the table. Just as soon as she does, blue fire erupts from Bill’s right hand and rushes across the surface of the very wooden table. The burning chunk breaks off under his weight and sends him crashing backwards into it and scrambling for stability. His left grips the edge of the table just fine, but the right cracks against the table again, this time sending flames shooting across the table and splitting it neatly in half. Lanette watches calmly from her seat as her partner spills backwards, onto his back and on the floor between both halves of the table. When she looks down, she isn’t surprised to see a half-flygon lying there, wincing as he holds his now-extinguished hand aloft.

“Okay,” he says. “Point taken.”]

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bills-pokedex·10 days agoAnswer
Per that question about one-hit KO moves, what about Perish Song? Is that dangerous?

No, actually, for reasons that aren’t well understood, Perish Song simply doesn’t have any sort of effect on humans. Pokémon are entirely different matter, of course, but the barriers that confine moves to the battlefield also filter Perish Song enough, until it becomes harmless to bystanders. At most, a spectating pokémon will feel extremely drowsy sometime after hearing it, but it really depends on their sensitivity to sound.

Of course, it’s also worth it to note that Perish Song doesn’t kill a pokémon, as popular belief states. Rather, it puts them into an extremely deep sleep that’s far more difficult to rouse from than a normal, everyday nap. It’s technically the least destructive or harmful way to take a pokémon out of a battle.

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bills-pokedex·11 days agoAnswer
Not urgent, but there's been a Zoroark messing with me for no apparent reason I can think of for a while now. Just little things, nothing too serious, but the illusions can get... weird. I know it's a Zoroark because I turned too fast and hit them in the face once and it broke the illusions for a sec before I apologised. I don't *think* I've done anything to get them annoyed at me, but it might just be something I didn't realise the impact of. Can you give any advice on how to deal with this?

Have you tried asking what it wants?

Bill. —LH

Actually, for once, I’m not facetious. Contrary to popular belief, “trickster” pokémon such as zoroark actually don’t want to simply trick humans, especially if they’re traveling alone. This puts them at risk, and it expends valuable energy that they could be using to hunt or protect themselves. Therefore, there’s likely a reason why this zoroark is targeting you.

The other thing I can say is that if the illusions are just weird and not too horrifying or serious, then rest assured that it’s likely this zoroark isn’t trying to be aggressive or malicious. I would still consider the possibility that it’s tryng to chase you away, but there are several other reasons why this zoroark is interested in you specifically. You may have piqued its curiosity, your pokémon may have piqued its curiosity, it may wish to join you—any number of things. The important first step—other than understanding that if this zoroark wanted to hurt you, it would have presented far more aggressive illusions—is to determine why it’s here.

I would suggest enlisting the help of a fairy-type to help you cut through this zoroark’s illusions and get it to show you its true form. Once that happens, present it with an offer. Start off by offering to battle it, in order to establish a sort of relationship between yourself and it. If it doesn’t look interested (or if it does and you do indeed battle), offer to take it on as your pokémon. If it doesn’t seem interested in that, offer, verbally, simply your friendship or help. Try to pinpoint what among these seems to pique its interest. Watch for any changes in posture, any movements towards you, or even any shifts in expression that may indicate you have its attention. Once you figure out what would catch its attention, work from there, based on what piqued its interest.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·12 days agoAnswer
Due to health complications, my Nidorina is unable to evolve. She had been looking forward to being a Nidoqueen, so she was devastated when she found out. How do I help her feel better about this?

The easiest way is to continue training her as a nidorina, but really lean into her talents as a nidorina. There are things she can do in this form that she can’t as a nidoqueen (endure cold, for an off-handed example), so it’s important to locate these strengths and teach her about how impressive she already, without needing to evolve.

Additionally, there are some companies that have made nidoqueen costumes specifically for nidorino and nidorina, as having a pokémon that wishes it can evolve into a nidoqueen but can’t for one reason or another is far more common than you might think. While I wouldn’t recommend relying on it (it’s extremely important that your nidorina is given a sense of self-love and -confidence), it may be a good idea to have around in a pinch, if your nidorina sinks into a depressive state. Use the costume as a supplement to training, weaning her off it as she grows to love her form as it is.

Best of luck!

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bills-pokedex·13 days agoAnswer
I had a chance to meet Virizion not that long ago. I was camping in the forest and was in the middle of packing up my stuff to move on. I had a camp fire going and was in the middle of putting it out when I saw Virizion standing just outside my capsite, watching me. It took me a while to put the fire out all the way, but once I did Virizion left. I guess it was making sure that I put out out the fire properly.

Ah, yes. As rare as the legendaries are, this is apparently not an uncommon occurrence in Unova. Evidently, whereas most other regions teach their children about the dangers of leaving campfires alone in the form of the friendly and comforting yet strong Smokey Ursaring and his memorable catchphrase “only you can prevent forest fires,” Unova teaches its children through the decidedly less friendly or comforting Virizion, complete with the catchphrase, “It’s up to you to prevent forest fires … or else.”

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