bimir

[bimir]

“Even so, Gojo’s gaze, covered under the white bandages, had always, always, been staring at the shape of Geto’s soul.” (JJK0 Light novel) Gojo-kesa — monk' s robe of five patches or lengths. “The actual fabric was not as important as its humble origins, and it was of no value to others; thus, a robe made of such material would not engender covetousness or attachment.” (The religious life of a dress: global fashion and faith) “If we do not reject attachment to love, says the master, then it will reject us.” (The Song of the Wind in the Dry Trees)

[bimir]

was I really overdramatic or is the situation finally over?

#me everytime after something remotely bad or different happens #no but was I really the overdramatic one? #no! #or maybe sometimes yes of course! #but mostly I am right! #I am overdramatic because i HAVE to be #im being overdramatic #overdramatic #stress #my writing #anxiety #anxiety and stress

[bimir]

Alien

My biggest struggle, and perhaps regret, is feeling so uncomfortable in my own body that I struggle to recognize myself in photos.

Even worse, I find it difficult to even think about myself without spiraling into negative thoughts. I've heard that many people face similar challenges, which may be categorized as body dysmorphia, though I'm unsure.

I often feel like an alien compared to others. It's not that I consider myself ugly, but when I see photos of myself, I struggle to comprehend that the person in the image is me, a living, breathing individual.

This feeling may stem from years of being bullied for my appearance (my bunny teeth lmao), but despite improvements like getting braces and dressing myself stylishly, I still can't believe that the person in the photos is me. Why do I look so different compared to others? Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else, regardless of societal beauty standards, feel less human and real than others? Is it my perception of myself that prevents me from acknowledging my own existence?

I also despise being photographed or filmed, even though I enjoy capturing memories of others. I can't understand how my friends can be carefree in front of the camera, looking beautiful even in pajamas with messy hair, while I constantly struggle to look 'pretty'. Some might say I lack confidence, but it's not just insecurity, I don't know... :')

#body dismorphia #body image #out of body #out of body experience #idk i feel like I'm the only one feeling this way because it's not the lack of confidence it's more about accepting that I actually exist #my writing #help #please help #lmao #yeah #idk #idk man #self perception

[bimir]

mornings

[bimir]

the movie about the girl going into a withdrawal-like state is a reference to exactly what you think it is... bella swan from twilight!!

my ex made me watch all the twilight movies and I laughed so hard at Bella when she was miserable after Edward leaved and guess what

after we broke up, I ended exactly like Bella!

how ironic!

so don't laugh at others bc it will come around :'D

love movies, love novels, love poems, love songs

you see those all the time and you are taught about this thing called "falling in love" even before you could even talk properly

you firstly find out how the princess abandoned all her treasures to go and live with the lovely but very poor guy in a cartoon and little you think to yourself "she is so stupid! I'd never let my palace for a random guy!"

and then you grow a bit and the last hit song you hear playing all over the radios about this guy feeling like his world would stop without her and things and then you think again to yourself "I'd never get that attached to someone, that's absurd! I bet it's just for the arts, theres no thing like this in real life"

the new movie about this girl going into a withdrawal-like state after a break up makes you laugh out loud at her thinking "she is so dumb! how can you cry and be depressed for just a... guy?"

and then you find out how your favorite scientist fell in love so deeply that, when they experienced a breakup, the emotional pain was so intense that they believed even losing all their abilities and knowledge couldn't bring such agony. so you think to yourself again "even them? but they are an intellectual! how could they feel such childish things just because of love?"

time goes and goes, you are always thinking if maybe all those things about falling in love are real, but they couldn't be, right? it's just stories and tales, or even if it is, it's a one in a billion chance and then you get it.

"we talked today about our childhoods and he told me about how he was so clumsy, always falling, starching his knees, going into little accidents. He was telling me these while laughing at them but I just couldn't stop thinking how much I'd give to the universe to make it so that I could be beside little him, bandaging his wounds and whipping away his tears"

"I know I said I'd never move to that city, but if this works out, why not move there with him after uni?"

"he was being distant, ignoring my texts again so I asked him what's wrong. he tried to explain how he actually feels like he needs space right now and that he actually realised that he isn't ready for a relationship ? how could he say that after we've barely been even talking these last few weeks and after he was the one to inisit so much about a serious relationship? i'm sure that actually something is wrong with me, he was so perfect in the beginning, there's no way it isn't my fault, I got emotionally more involved than I had to!"

and then after your messy break up, after sobbing for days alone in your room or beside your mother, after putting yourself at fault and blaming yourself constantly for weeks, you suddenly realise that you wasted your tears and mental wellness on a shitty person, and the healing process begins

months passes and you notice that the brainless lovestruck person was now you, and you had actually felt like your life depended on the happiness of another person.

you felt like your life almost ended because of an another person... you?

you have became an idiot like that. did love actually made you an idiot like that?

that scientist who changed the world, that doctor who studied all his life, that schoolmate who is cold to everyone, your mother and my mother, me and you, she, him or they,

love makes or will make all of us idiots like that

#twilight #bella swan #edward cullen #bella where the hell have you been loca #vampire

[bimir]

love movies, love novels, love poems, love songs

you see those all the time and you are taught about this thing called "falling in love" even before you could even talk properly

you firstly find out how the princess abandoned all her treasures to go and live with the lovely but very poor guy in a cartoon and little you think to yourself "she is so stupid! I'd never let my palace for a random guy!"

and then you grow a bit and the last hit song you hear playing all over the radios about this guy feeling like his world would stop without her and things and then you think again to yourself "I'd never get that attached to someone, that's absurd! I bet it's just for the arts, theres no thing like this in real life"

the new movie about this girl going into a withdrawal-like state after a break up makes you laugh out loud at her thinking "she is so dumb! how can you cry and be depressed for just a... guy?"

and then you find out how your favorite scientist fell in love so deeply that, when they experienced a breakup, the emotional pain was so intense that they believed even losing all their abilities and knowledge couldn't bring such agony. so you think to yourself again "even them? but they are an intellectual! how could they feel such childish things just because of love?"

time goes and goes, you are always thinking if maybe all those things about falling in love are real, but they couldn't be, right? it's just stories and tales, or even if it is, it's a one in a billion chance and then you get it.

"we talked today about our childhoods and he told me about how he was so clumsy, always falling, starching his knees, going into little accidents. He was telling me these while laughing at them but I just couldn't stop thinking how much I'd give to the universe to make it so that I could be beside little him, bandaging his wounds and whipping away his tears"

"I know I said I'd never move to that city, but if this works out, why not move there with him after uni?"

"he was being distant, ignoring my texts again so I asked him what's wrong. he tried to explain how he actually feels like he needs space right now and that he actually realised that he isn't ready for a relationship ? how could he say that after we've barely been even talking these last few weeks and after he was the one to inisit so much about a serious relationship? i'm sure that actually something is wrong with me, he was so perfect in the beginning, there's no way it isn't my fault, I got emotionally more involved than I had to!"

and then after your messy break up, after sobbing for days alone in your room or beside your mother, after putting yourself at fault and blaming yourself constantly for weeks, you suddenly realise that you wasted your tears and mental wellness on a shitty person, and the healing process begins

months passes and you notice that the brainless lovestruck person was now you, and you had actually felt like your life depended on the happiness of another person.

you felt like your life almost ended because of an another person... you?

you have became an idiot like that. did love actually made you an idiot like that?

that scientist who changed the world, that doctor who studied all his life, that schoolmate who is cold to everyone, your mother and my mother, me and you, she, him or they,

love makes or will make all of us idiots like that

#idea I had while watching my fav artist talking ab how wrecked he felt after a break up #truth be said I actually believed that I could never be an idiot like that #seriously #hope you like it #please be kind #english is not my first language #lmao #my writing #poetry #love #love movies #love songs #love poems #love books #romance #at first this was going to be about her but it became about him #I'll never regret loving #but I'll regret being a fool #you will always be a part of me #bla bla bla melodramaticy #love makes you an idiot like that #idiot like that

[bimir]

what if Denji smoked because it reminded him of Aki and

And he's just crying and being mopey because he wishes Aki was there while he smokes. And he hates the taste, it's disgusting, and he coughs.

But he does it anyways because then he can imagine Aki is still with him, and imagine the smell of Aki's cigarettes.

[bimir]

yall see “love” and immediately go to “romantic love” if you translate “love is the whole point” to “romantic love is the whole point” you need to rethink everything because love is found in everything. in community, in friendships, in family, in food, in nature so actually love is the whole point and u can die mad about it. hope this helps <3

[bimir]

am I psychic, I just saw that they announced a new csm movie with the reeze arc what 😀

I came across a Chainsaw Man analysis on TikTok, and it's been so long since I last saw anything about it that it hit me hard, even though it was nothing special. I think Chainsaw Man is the only piece of media that really, and I mean really, had an impact on me. For instance, not even Attack on Titan has impacted me emotionally as much as Chainsaw Man did, or maybe it did, but I forgot because I've noticed that I literally erase all the things that were too painful for my mind and soul. Maybe that's why that banal analysis hit me so hard today; it made me remember how good but heartbreakingly Chainsaw Man was. Despite all the pain, I sincerely would give anything to read it again. Fujimoto did such a good job creating this story, but the best thing out of it is the characters and their bond. Denji will forever be one of my dearest protagonists; that poor thing has gone through it all. I don't know where I was trying to get with this, but I just felt like talking about it. Recalling it has left me feeling a bit quesy; I really miss part one of csm

[bimir]

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

[bimir]

I came across a Chainsaw Man analysis on TikTok, and it's been so long since I last saw anything about it that it hit me hard, even though it was nothing special. I think Chainsaw Man is the only piece of media that really, and I mean really, had an impact on me. For instance, not even Attack on Titan has impacted me emotionally as much as Chainsaw Man did, or maybe it did, but I forgot because I've noticed that I literally erase all the things that were too painful for my mind and soul. Maybe that's why that banal analysis hit me so hard today; it made me remember how good but heartbreaking Chainsaw Man was. Despite all the pain, I sincerely would give anything to read it again. Fujimoto did such a good job creating this story, but the best thing out of it is the characters and their bond. Denji will forever be one of my dearest protagonists; that poor thing has gone through it all. I don't know where I was trying to get with this, but I just felt like talking about it. Recalling it has left me feeling a bit quesy; I really miss part one of csm

#chainsaw man #csm #denji #aki hayakawa #power #denji csm #aki csm #power csm #tatsuki fujimoto #fujimoto #csm manga #csm anime #himeno #makima #makima csm

[bimir]

だんだん・Step by Step

[bimir]

nothing in this world is ever quite as personal as when someone enthusiastically infodumps to you about things they love

[bimir]

binder!!

[bimir]

me after sleeping ljke shit for the 10,497th day in a row: this is good actually because now i'll be really tired when i go to bed tonight

[bimir]

I'd always take alone time late nights over early mornings

the thing that sucks is that people love saying sleep early is good etc etc and yeah it is. I've seen some benefits before. but I think it sucks to ignore that late night is the only time with any freedom. I think it sucks to not acknowledge the dread in waking up and it's a work day again

[bimir]

the worst is wanting to create and create and create but being trapped in a body that is so so so so tired