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bleufrost · 3 years

Note

hey! I saw you were taking requests , I was wondering how Loki would help his partner suffering through chronic pain? I suffer with fibromyalgia and Loki is a massive comfort character , thank you so much ❤️

Immeasurable | Loki x reader

a/n: hey sweetheart! ok, so i was doing some research and spoke to my friend who also has fibromayalgia, and this ended up being a little angstier than i intended. I hope that's ok, but please let me know if you want something that's just fluff all the way through and ill be more than happy to write that for you 🖤

warnings: a bit of angst/self doubt, melted ice cream

The whole night was spent in pain. You'd wake up, try in vain to rub away some of the discomfort, try to go back to sleep, and then repeat. By the time morning hit, you were still exhausted and it felt like there was nothing that would change that.

Deciding it best to stay in your room, you politely ask F.R.I.D.A.Y to let Tony know you would be out again today. He knew about the pain that often plagued you, and he knew that there was very little you could do about it. It wasn't your fault, and the treatments you normally used could only ease it slightly. You were in this one for the long haul, but hopefully this particularly bad feeling would ease soon.

Gathering with the team to eat was never one of the most coveted moments of the day for Loki. Oftentimes he much preferred to skip it. The one thing that always called him to the table though, was you. So when he arrived this morning to find your seat empty, he immediately began to worry.

When Tony spoke, alarms went off in his head.

"Alright team, today is gonna be another training day. Gotta keep sharp for any more...visitors." Tony gives him a somewhat-playful look and continues.

"We're doing another group exercise today. Since we're all here, I'm going to start teaming you all up!" All here? Clearly not everyone is here, so why was he acting as though someone very valuable wasn't missing entirely?

He claps his hands together and rubs them in excitement.

"Capsicle, I'm putting you with Point Break-"

"Stark, I believe you've miscounted." The team looks around, but ultimately decides to ignore him. Tony chuckles at the interruption, a small sign of anxiety flashing before his face that quickly vanishes.

"Nope! Definitely did not." He returns to giving out teams, but Loki was now even more concerned and ready to argue.

"It seems a cruel joke to ignore the absence of a member of the team you claim to care so deeply for." Loki tries to sound unconcerned. He desperately plays at nonchalance and wants everyone to believe that he's only bringing you up to make Tony's life harder.

They see right through it though. The two of you were nearly inseparable. Even trying to appear like he didn't care about where you were was...laughable.

"Alright, Reindeer Games, you clearly want a partner. You're with our dearly missed little teammate. It's not gonna be glamorous, but you're right. They're on the team and everyone needs to participate. " Tony grabs a water and a pint of ice cream from the freezer, tossing them to Loki and shrugging.

"What..?" How could they be partners if one of the duo wasn't here?

"Go on upstairs. I'm sure you're needed." Loki nods, still confused but more than eager to see you. Right as he reaches the doorway, Tony shouts one last thing at him.

"Hey, no funny business!"

You had wanted to get up and grab a drink for the last thirty minutes. Tony was great, but remembering some important things just wasn't on his list of strengths.

So, when you hear a knock at the door, you're desperately hoping it's the forgetful billionaire who owns the damn building.

"You can come in!" Loki opens the door slowly, a little nervous. For what, he's not sure.

When you see him, your heart drops. In your eyes, you were never as strong as the other members of your team, never quite as fast or resilient. Loki had never looked down upon you though. He never made you feel less than the rest. Giving him a reason to do so...that hurt you.

"What are you doing here?" The words come out strained, a new blossoming of pain joining the dull ache that already existed in your muscles.

Loki notices immediately and moves forward, just enough to let you know that he's there, but not enough to make you feel trapped.

"You're hurt? Who hurt you?" You try not to let anything show, to be strong and not ruin the image you hope he has in his head of you. But you can't.

"I'm okay." Once again, the words barely make it out. Loki steps forward again, face marred with a look of hurt and confusion.

"I am not blind."

You know you can't hide it. For as strong as you try to be, this was just something you couldn't always toughen up and push away. Deep down, you know that no one could. It was nothing to be ashamed of, and yet here you were, still scared of letting one of the only people who knew pain as well as you did in.

Looking back to Loki, you recognize the concern. There's no judgement or signs of cruelty. He just wants to know what's happening to you. Finally, you decide to tell him. Just...in a second.

Right now, something a little more pressing rises to your attention. You were still incredibly thirsty, and the effort to stay awake all morning had you feeling exhausted and dehydrated. Looking to the bottle, you point sheepishly.

"Can I have that?"

Loki watches you carefully, but gives you the water immediately. He places a little pint of ice cream on the nightstand before leaning down to get even closer to you.

With shaky hands, you bring it up to drink. His own palm rests against your raised one in an attempt to steady your shaking form. The fact that he didn't take it from you to hold it himself meant so much. You could do it, you just needed a little help.

"Tell me what's hurting you...please." His eyes plead with you, and although he would never force you to say or do anything, you know in that moment that you can't keep this to yourself any longer. Not from him. You place the bottle down and sigh.

Recognizing that you're preparing to share something difficult with him, Loki lifts his hand to gently stroke your cheek. You instantly lean into his palm.

"Okay. But first, can you please hold me?" Your eyes are watery as you speak, beginning to let down the facade. He’s going to know soon. There's no point in hiding.

Loki doesn't even respond. On any given day, he'd do absolutely anything you asked of him without question. On days when you clearly weren't okay...well he was willing to go above and beyond if it meant providing you with any comfort he could.

He climbs on to bed, gently wrapping his arms around you. You can tell he's afraid of hurting you. It warms your heart, but it also stings.

You're not fragile. You're not some weak little kid. Still, the feeling of him against you is too comforting to deny.

"Sometimes…" not wanting to lie, you revise your statement.

"Most times, I experience a lot of pain in my body. It changes every once in a while, but it never really goes away." Loki's eyes appear confused, guarded in a way that tells you he's unsure of how to respond. You give him a moment, and he finally decides he needs more information.

"Why?" His eyes scan your body, searching for any sign of injury. Anything that could be causing the obvious pain you're experiencing.

"It could be a mix of things. Genetics, stress, bad luck?" You shrug and try to smile a little, hoping that the last one could lighten the mood. It didn't.

"How do we stop it from hurting you? What can I do to help?" He looks so eager, as though you could tell him that you needed all of the infinity stones and twenty planets in order to take just the smallest amount of hurt away and he'd happily do it. The intensity with which he looks at you tells you that it isn't far off, if off at all.

You shake your head. He rises a little, just enough to lock eyes with you and attempt to tell you just how much he wanted to stop you from experiencing any discomfort. It couldn't be stopped though. You knew that.

"Please let me help." His fingers come up to stroke your cheek again, looking for any further contact he could get with you. It makes it hurt even more when you have to crush his hopes.

"There's nothing you can do, Loki. There's no cure or quick fix. I have to live with it."

It's like he barely hears you, rejecting your response before you can even really give it.

"No. No, there must be something we can do." He's so adamant about it, and as much as you appreciate his dedication, you've been through this before. Too many times to count.

"There’s not!" It's hardly a yell, more a frustrated little cry than anything. You didn't mean to get upset, but everything just felt like too much and you needed it to stop. Still, you regret losing your temper immediately.

Prepared to apologize, you look at Loki with tears in your eyes. What you see in him translates a million things to you, but one stands out more than any other: he wasn't looking for an apology. He didn't even seem to think one was necessary. Instead, he looks upset with himself.

"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" The question is valid. You both had shared so much with each other...this one just seemed to never have the right time. That's what you tell yourself anyways. What you end up telling Loki...well, it's the truth.

"I didn't want you to think I was weak. Everyone else already knows and I see the way they look at me. They think I'm some glass doll ready to shatter at any moment. I'm not!" Tears slip past your eyes and you can feel the beginnings of a new type of pain. Your heart hurt intensely now, having never shared those thoughts with anyone before.

Loki hugs you to him, kissing your forehead and holding you close.

"You're right. You're not made of glass. I need you to know that not one of those people looks down upon you. I've spent time with each of them, mostly unwillingly, but they all think the world of you." You shake your head. He couldn't be telling the truth, right?

"Furthermore, I want to apologize."

You pull back, questioning Loki.

"I told you, it isn't anyone's fault. You don't have to be sorry."

"No, as much as I hate that you're in pain, that's not what I mean. I want to apologize for making you think, even for a second, that you had to hide this from me. That you thought something like this would make me see you as less than you truly are. Your strength is immeasurable, and knowing that you remain so courageous and ready to help others when you experience this so often…well, how could I not be in awe of you?"

Kissing your forehead again, Loki settles down beside you. He lets you absorb his words, feeling the stiffness in your body alleviate slightly as you lay against him.

You didn't know what you expected when you finally told Loki. Honestly, you weren't entirely sure you ever planned to. This, though, was more understanding than you ever imagined.

"Thank you." Looking up, you can see the tiny smile form on his lips.

"For what, darling?" His fingers brush against your shoulder, hoping that the continued stimulus would take your mind off the consistent negative feeling at least a little.

"For understanding. And for being here." Your own fingers play with his shirt, feeling the soft material and taking comfort in his existence beside you.

"Thank you for allowing me to." Loki leans down, careful not to make any jarring movements. Kissing you gently, he smiles as you giggle against him.

"Now what's so funny, little one?" Your head shakes in embarrassment, but you still look over his shoulder as much as possible, trying to get a glimpse of the nightstand.

"You're going to think I'm crazy, but I saw you bring in ice cream and I've kind of been thinking about it a little this whole time." When he looks at you, shocked and more than a little taken off guard, you laugh even more.

"I find your dedication to it both very confusing and wildly impressive." He joins you in laughing, his joyful chuckle vibrating through his chest and making you smile in content.

Suddenly, your body grows tired again. A deep wave of fatigue hits you and you don't try to hide how it affects you. You don't have to, not with Loki. Not anymore.

Loki immediately grabs the container from the table. He opens it, brows scrunching as he takes in the goopy, melted mess.

You watch in fascination as his hand turns a deep blue, frosting the ice cream once more. He was pretty damn great.

"There. Not quite the same as it was, but hopefully good enough." Taking it from his hands and placing a bit in your mouth, you smile.

"It's perfect." Loki kisses you, humming happily.

"That you are." He licks his lips and nods his head in approval. "That tastes quite good."

You take another spoonful and give it to him, happily sharing one of your favorite treats while you both settle in to talk and watch something.

Hours later, you're still struggling to sleep. Loki watches as the sun sets, covering the room in a vast darkness. He hates the way your body tenses against him, the way he can't just take every last piece of hurt away from you. In that moment, he remembers all the times that he had felt pained in life. Decades flash before his eyes, until finally he lands on a memory from his youth, and he gets an idea.

Lifting his hand, Loki brings little fireworks to life. The colors dance across his fingertips, and when your eyes open after a particularly uncomfortable wave, you can't pull them away.

He watches, enchanted by the way the sparks of light reach your eyes. While your focus remains on the beauty his magic creates, his mind is only filled with how breathtaking you are.

It doesn't stop the pain, but it definitely does make going through it a little easier.

That's how it goes from then on. Most days you feel okay enough to keep fighting, but on the days that you don't, he's there. The treat may change from ice cream, to cookies, and one day a huge stack of candy that Loki seems far too giddy to try. Sometimes you watch movies, other times he reads to you instead. A lot of things change about the way you two learn to live with your pain, but one thing stays the same. You never have to go through it alone again.

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bleufrost · 3 years

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hiiii!! i see you’re taking request so if it’s no bother i was wondering if you could do female reader x dad spencer reid where the team comes back from a case and finds spencer and his wife in the round table room w a tiny little baby girl and they introduce her to the team ? (i was thinking maybe s4/5 reid) if that’s okay with you.

if not it’s totally fine!! have a great day 🥰🥰

Where She Belongs | dad! Spencer Reid x reader

a/n: you guys have some of the absolute cutest ideas! babies make me so happy and this was a joy to write. thank you so much for the request sweetheart! i hope this makes you smile as much as i did working on it <3

warnings: cute little baby girl meeting her cute little family of crime fighting badasses

It had been a month. One solid month of nothing but diapers, crying, splattered food, and a whole lot of love. Being a new parent wasn't easy, but not having to do it alone was a blessing you were forever grateful for. Well, most of the time you were grateful. Right now you're mostly confused.

You could hear Spencer's voice murmuring from down the hall. You had left him in the nursery with your little baby girl while you went to the kitchen to grab something to drink. Normally, he'd read to her, hoping that the sound of his voice would calm her and allow her to sleep. Sometimes he would put on some classical music and sway her around. This time...well you're not quite sure what his plan is.

"Listen, I know you're crying and that's completely understandable. It absolutely breaks my heart to see you so upset and I wish I could do more to help. I did notice that you don't seem to have any tears though, which makes me wonder if your tear ducts have yet to develop."

Reaching the doorway, you stop and lean against it. Spencer's in the center of the room, arms holding tightly to your screaming little girl. Her cheeks are red and puffy, eyes wide, and little mouth trembling after every wail.

He pauses, waiting for this fit of screams to end before speaking again.

"It's okay! Sometimes they show up at your age, but other times they don't. You can take your time, there's no rush, sweetheart." Spencer smiles, brushing the few little strands of soft hair out of her eyes. She hiccups at him, mouth still threatening to open with another scream. It doesn't come though. Instead, a tiny, trembling little babble leaves her lips.

Spencer listens as though she's asking him something very important. He nods, brows scrunching.

"Oh, me? Well, I did things a little faster than most kids." She whines a little, hand coming up to grab at his shirt.

"Hey, there's no reason to start comparing ourselves though. I mean, you passed me up in cuteness within the first second of being alive. You're going to make me self conscious if we start tallying up points here." When he finishes talking, she seems a little mesmerized for a moment. Her tiny fist still holds his shirt tightly, eyes still wide. Spencer waits, patiently standing by to see what she does next. Neither one moves until the smallest smile spreads over her cheeks.

Spencer holds her up, kissing her on the nose the way you had done to him since you first started dating. It was incredible how many little things suddenly become a part of who a person is.

"Ahh so her affection can be bought with flattery. Good to know." You laugh as you make your way into the room. Spencer turns to you with a soft chuckle.

"Oh, here comes another person who would definitely beat me in a cute competition."

In his arms, she begins to squirm and reaches her little fingers out to you, still babbling away.

This time, it's your turn to nod.

"I agree, angel. Daddy is very good at sweet talking." He allows her to stretch over, leaning into your touch until her little body lifts from his arms to yours.

"Is it really sweet talking if everything I'm saying is true?"

Spencer kisses your forehead, resting his own against it for a second and taking in a deep, content sigh.

"I mean it, you look beautiful." Bumping his nose lightly, you pull him in for a soft kiss. He takes care not to squish the baby girl between you, hand coming up to stroke her soft hair and let her know she's loved.

There was no urgency, not now. Nothing to pull him away or make you worry. You knew that would come again with time, but for now it was just the three of you and gentle bliss.

Like the universe hears you though, a shrill melody pierces the air. Spencer pulls back, eyes still closed and forehead scrunching slightly like he's in pain. You recognize the sound. You'd woken up to it many late nights, helping him pack and seeing him off by early morning. It wasn't a sound you would ever enjoy, but it was one that indicated urgency.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this." He looks between you and the chubby angel in your arms, his eyes apologizing far more than his words ever could.

You nod your head, scooting the baby over to rest in your one arm. The other comes up to stroke Spencer's cheek.

"I know. It's okay." He smiles, tight lipped apologetic, but turns to the door to take the call anyway.

You move to sit on the windowsill of the room, looking down at the miracle in your arms. Her eyes stare after her daddy, trying desperately to figure out where he went.

"He'll be back, angel. He'll always come back to us."

As it turns out, he returned quite quickly that afternoon. Apparently, the team at the BAU had run into a pretty serious case. They were down on their luck and desperately needed a second opinion on a few things that Penelope was kind enough to send over to the house.

Spencer read through the stacks in minutes, the small office you had helped him prepare seeming to do the trick just well enough that he could find the pattern that they had missed. You spend most of the day taking care of the two most important people in your life, making sure they eat and stay hydrated. Every snack, coffee, and water you bring him is met with an appreciative kiss.

By the time nightfall hits, Spencer had been on and off the phone with Penelope and Hotch more times than you could count. It wasn't for nothing though, as Derek made the call at nearly midnight that they had caught the guy. One less thing for you to have to worry about your daughter seeing. One less monster for her to fear.

Spencer fell asleep quickly that night, nearly passing out the moment his head hit the pillow. You didn't blame him, he deserved his rest. When his phone rang again, you opted to pick it up. Both him and the baby were asleep, and you were itching to make sure everyone was truly alright.

"Hey, new daddy." Derek's tired voice filters through the speaker, bringing a smile to your face.

"Hmm. Not sure I've gotten that one before." You can hear him chuckle and you laugh too.

"Hi, sunshine. How ya holding up?" Sitting down in the living room, you finally give yourself the chance to relax.

"Pretty good. It was hectic here today, I can’t imagine how it was over there." The tired sigh he lets out tells you everything.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We didn't know what else to do." Your head shakes quickly, though you realize right away that he can't see it.

"No, don't be sorry. I know who I fell in love with, and I know what comes with that." There’s silence for a moment, but you hear slight movement on the other end. He must've nodded his head.

"Are you guys okay?" Your question is quiet, afraid to poke a nerve or ask something he wasn't ready to talk about. Having spent so long with Spencer, you knew that cases could be draining. They made you react in ways you wouldn't normally.

"Not really, sunshine. Morale's a little low." When he sighs again, you're suddenly struck with an idea.

"Hey, Derek, what time are you guys landing?"

The BAU headquarters is much quieter than you remember, though you think that may be in part to the team not having arrived yet.

Sitting in the conference room, Spencer looks around curiously while you feed the bubbly little girl in your arms.

"It looks like they've been pretty busy." You watch him, noticing the way his mind begins to work as he examines things a little more closely. It hurts your heart to think he might want to be here more. That maybe he misses this a lot more than you originally thought. You know that's not true, but the anxiety still creeps in.

"Sweetheart, do you want to be back?" You try your best to say it with as little pain as possible. Of course he misses this place. These people are family. Hell, you missed them too.

He continues to walk around, absentmindedly picking pictures up. "Yeah, of course." Okay, the quickness of that answer stung.

Deciding to stay quiet, you focus on the little bundle who doesn't seem to ever stop being hungry.

It takes him a moment, but when you're silent, he knows something is wrong. Looking at you with the baby that he never thought he'd have...it always felt like too much. Like he would never be sure how he could have gotten lucky enough. It hits him like a punch to the gut when he finally runs through the brief conversation from moments before.

"I didn't mean it like that." Coming to sit beside you, he rests his hand on your arm, thumb stroking gently.

"I love you and this adorable little girl more than anything in my life. God, I never even knew I could love something that much. Sometimes it feels like it's all just going to bubble over. Like there's so much that I want you to know but I just can't get the words right." His fingers run through his hair, pushing it back in slight desperation. When he looks at you again, he seems sure.

"There is nowhere I would ever want to be more than with the two of you. This family gives me something to believe in." Taking his cheek in your hand, you brush over the sharp bone there.

You knew all of this. As bad as Spencer claims to be with expressing himself, he's able to do it exceptionally well. You've known from the start that you have nothing to worry about. That he would always choose you over any case, but you also knew that you couldn't ever force that decision on him. Yes, he'd pick you and this little life the two of you had made, but he shouldn't have to. Not when he loves his team and work so much.

"And this family" you look around the BAU to make your point, "gives you people you can count on." Finding his face again, you kiss him.

"Don't ever think you have to give up one for the other. Family doesn't work that way."

Spencer kisses you again, this time smiling in that soft way that told you he really did feel like the luckiest man alive.

A tiny squeak causes you both to break from each other's eyes. Looks like her appetite finally gave out. You hand the little one with her full belly over to Spencer while you situate yourself again. Just in time it seems, as the elevator doors ping behind you guys and the very people you'd been waiting to see come into view.

Penelope rushes out quickly, having been given notice of your arrival earlier. The baby had been fussy then and, as excited as Pen was to see her, she knew that her needs came first. So the conference room had been opened for your disposal.

Now though, there was no holding her back. Her bubbly voice rang through the open space and you couldn't help the giggle that left your mouth.

"Alright mouseketeers! I'm gonna need a calm and collected line forming at the entrance of the conference room!" She claps happily and marches over. Knocking, her head pokes in with a nervous little grin.

"Hey, my little bear cubs. Are we all good to go?" Spencer turns in his chair, protectively holding his daughter in his arms. He looks to you and nods. You nod back.

"Yeah, I think she's ready to meet her crime fighting family." Penelope grins even wider at your words, opening the door and slowly ushering people in.

"What's going on here?" Derek smiles and brings you in for a warm hug. Behind him, JJ looks around, seeking out the baby she knew was waiting with you guys.

They all offer you big hugs, nearly jumping with joy to see you up and healthy. You know part of it was just polite banter, the real show was hiding in Spencer's lap.

"We know the case was a little tough, so our little rosebud thought it would be a nice idea to grace you with her presence." You say the words with a smile, the rest of the team grinning back and laughing. When Spencer stands, you can see that she's already wide awake and alert. It's almost as if she knows that these people would be here to protect her for the rest of her life.

Derek and Emily rush over in excitement, the latter of the two staring in pure awe as she coos at your daughter.

"Hey, little cub. You're even prettier than your parents." Derek looks over his shoulder, shooting you a grin. "No offense, sunshine."

Your arms rise up in surrender. "None taken, I completely agree." Penelope laughs and takes her own place beside Derek and Emily as she tells her new favorite doll all about the shoes and little outfits she has planned for her.

When JJ asks if she can hold her, you agree immediately. You hadn't told her yet, but both you and Spencer had agreed early on that she would be her godmother, if that's what she wanted.

JJ rocks her with such care, it makes your heart ache. Her and Hotch had been there from the start, offering every assistance and piece of advice on parenthood that they possibly could. You were lucky to have them. There wasn't much guidance in your life, so the knowledge that they had been in this exact position before and were more than happy to help, well that had meant a lot.

Hotch comes to stand next to you, eyes soft. He watches her protectively, but lays a hand on your shoulder.

"Thank you. We all really needed this. Needed her. She’s beautiful, though that was probably to be expected." You smile up at him and kiss his cheek.

"She's going to need all of you just as much. I know Spence and I do." Hotch returns the smile with his own promise to be there. He'd been through a lot with Haley and Jack, you were glad that bringing in a new member to your little group could offer him some kind of joy.

"Why don't you go hold her?" His brows crease and you barely notice the slight shake of his head.

"I'm not sure." Turning to him fully, you look him in the eye and nearly insist.

"Hotch, she's going to love having you in her life. You're a good man, and a really good father." It takes a moment, but he finally concedes and gives your shoulder one last pat before going over to ask JJ for a chance to bond with the new little baby.

You aren't alone for more than a second, Spencer coming over to hug you tightly and kiss you on the temple.

"She looks happy." You look over and see the toothless little smile on her chubby cheeks. It was absolutely adorable.

"Of course. She knows this is where she belongs." His head gently rests on top of yours, holding you from behind as he plays with your fingers.

"I'm going to take a little more time off. I spoke to the director, and she told me that I could do some work from home as long as Hotch gives me the okay."

You continue to watch them make your angel laugh and smile. It was almost unbelievable how much this one little baby could change the entire mood.

It had probably taken a lot for him to get that offer, and the effort made your heart squeeze. You decide then that taking it one step further was a no brainer.

"Maybe we could also make visiting a more normal thing? They deserve a little good in life, and she is completely obsessed with all of the attention." Spencer's chest rumbles with the laugh he lets out. You can feel his head nod against yours.

"I think everyone would like that. I know I would." Turning, you kiss him gently, smiling into it when you hear her telltale little shriek of joy.

You meant what you had said earlier, she'd need this family just as much as you and Spencer do now. Besides, who better to raise your baby around than the very people who would do anything in their power to make the world a little safer for her? All of them, including her daddy, were superheroes in your eyes. Why wait for superman when she had all the love and protection she needs right here?

Spencer holds you a little tighter, placing a kiss on your head and resting his cheek there. Looking back again, you both can't help but smile at the utter joy and love radiating from the room.

It may not be the most cohesive family, but you would never even imagine trading them for anything else. No, this is where you all belonged.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader fluff #mgg #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #matthew gray gubler #dad spencer

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