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[blogs-of-kim]

In The End of the Rainbow

Tonight I’m writing this piece because I’m thinking of you. Sometimes I’ve always had flashbacks for the colors that you gave to me. It is still stucked in my head and also had a space in my heart. Quite heavy as you say, so I thought I needed to let this go. All of the colors of the rainbow that you’ve given me.

First of all, I never thought that someone like you can make me feel butterflies in my stomach to the point that it is overwhelming. Just to let you know even though you wouldn’t like ever and forever, you made me feel alive again.

Red: I felt intense feelings again and you’re the cause of it. I blame it to your sweet smile.

Orange: Thank you for the happiness that you gave me. Even if you’re not doing anything or just by standing from a meter from me makes my day complete. It even led me to smile from that secretly.

Yellow: The refreshing feeling that you radiate me makes me more energetic and positive but it also makes me to feel dull sometimes because of the nature of our color.

Green: Our harmonious conversation kept me asking “what ifs” in the back of my mind in the middle of the night.

Blue: This is my favorite color that you gave me. You always gave me serenity whenever there is a storm that surrounds me.

Indigo: You’re sincere in painting our color which makes me hurt and sad. Sometimes I refuse to look at it and wondering if I can change it into a different color.

Violet: In reality, this is all but just a glimpse of fantasy. A world that I created in my thoughts to avoid the light of truth. Something that I only know but I wish that I can share it with you.

You’ve given me so many colors but the only color that we have is gray. The cloudy weather is the true nature of our color that we’ve shared together.

In the end of the rainbow, the colors that you’ve given me is starting to fade and change so I must leave it all and continue to walk in a path where I can paint on my own.

[blogs-of-kim]

blog #001

EXO ❤️ EXO-L

I will share something about myself of how did I become an EXO-L since today is the 6th year of EXO-Ls being with EXO.

2014 is the year that I’ve known EXO. I just heard it from my EXO-L classmate. I think she started to stan EXO since 2013 or 2012 and her bias is Chanyeol. She shares that with me because we’re close friends back in the middle school. I’m not that interested in kpop back then but I listen to some kpop songs that are popular here in my country (Philippines) when I was in 2nd-3rd grade. Those are Fire by 2ne1, I am The Best by 2ne1, Hot Issue by 4minute, I Got A Boy by SNSD, and PSY’s songs like Gangnam Style and Gentleman.

She continued to introduce EXO to me through out all the middle school years. Then one day, on 5th grade, she borrowed a bluetooth speaker from our classmate which is also our friend and one of her best friend and she played Growl by EXO. In the beginning of the song it already caught my attention because it was catchy although I don’t even understand the language. So I’ve searched it on YouTube to listen to it again. When I tell her that I did that, she also recommended me to listen to their (EXO) song called Call Me Maybe. I also love it because it sounded sweet and lovely.

Also on 5th grade my cousin moved to our house temporarily and she studied in a school that is not so far in our home where me, my brother and my best friend/childhood friend (until now) studied before. I got close to this cousin of mine. We always talked about different things and some girls stuff. Then one day she showed me something on her phone. It was a photo of 12 different guys. I asked her who are they and she said it was EXO. I think it was Growl era back then.

Then she pointed out that her bias is Baekhyun. She showed me the picture of Baekhyun because I’m still recognizing them.

*this is the ot12 picture that she showed me back then*

*then this is Baekhyun’s picture that she showed me back then too*

After she showed me a lot of pictures of EXO, one of them caught my attention. It was Kris! Because while scanning with their pictures I thought that Kris is the most handsome of them all. So she sent me some of Kris’ pictures.

The funny thing is that I forgot to tell this to my EXO-L friend haha. But when talked me again about EXO I told her that I knew some of them and she is happy of course. She encouraged me to stan them but One Direction owns my heart back then and Taylor Swift also so I’m struggling to put another group or singer in my heart haha.

Then summer of 2019 (month of April) EXO managed to creep into my heart. Finally after all these years haha. I just searched their MVs on YouTube and then I’ve watched their web drama called EXO Next Door. I liked Chanyeol while watching the web drama so I was thinking that he will be my bias in EXO. But then Suho appeared and it change my mind and heart all of the sudden.

Even I’ve finished watching the drama I’ve kept thinking about Suho and he even appeared in my dreams and he will be the first person that I will think of. It was crazy but it was fun. So I’ve started watching EXO’s MVs and other variety shows and it made me become an EXO-L. When I’ve watched the Ko Ko Bop MV, I’ve screamed silently when I saw Suho there with curly hair and slayin’ with his looks. It was even rare for me to pick the vocalist to be my bias because almost all my bias are rappers.

Then I told this to my middle school EXO-L friend and to my closest cousin (it was a different cousin which I’ve mention before) which happens to be a kpop fan (she stans EXO, SEVENTEEN, Day6, Stray Kids, GFriend, etc.) too and they are all happy and welcomed me to the fandom. But EXO is not the only group that I’m stanning right now because there is iKON, WINNER and AKMU.

After I’ve decided that Suho is bias in EXO, I also watched some of Kyungsoo’s dramas and movies and all that I can say he’s acting skill are execellent. Same as his vocals. He is “small but terrible” kind of guy.

Then EXO-SC is my bias wreckers. Chanyeol has a special place in my heart. Kai sometimes attempts me to swerve on him especially when he is performing on stage because his dancing skills are excellent too. I can’t even believe that he learned to do ballet in his pre-debut years.

Chen’s voice always puts me to sleep. He is cute too so don’t put hate on him please just because he just had a baby and a wife (I would like to called it his wife). Because he is a human too and he deserves to be happy and to have a family. I wish that he appears on The Return of Superman because that would be super great!

I love Xiumin’s cleaning skills because he reminds me of my Mama’s (my mom) cleaning skills haha. He can also sing and rap especially on EXO-CBX. I find him cute too that I want him to snatch and put him on my pocket.

I also love Lay’s witty side and sometimes I feel bad that I’m laughing when he is kinda lost or something but it was so cute and I can’t help but to laugh. But he’s dancing skills are on point too. I hope that I can see him again with EXO so that ot9 will be complete again.

Baekhyun is so cute too and I want to pinch his cheeks. He is so adorable. And from what I’ve observed on him, his vocals improved a lot and it was amazing.

Sehun is a giant baby but he is also on my ideal type of guy haha. I also love seeing him with Vivi.

It was also sad about the Chinese members (Tao, Luhan, and Kris) to part ways with EXO but I respect their decisions. Also it made me tear up when I saw their reunion on a survival show on China which is Produce Camp 2020. I hope that they can also be reunited with the others.

So I might be late to stan EXO but it’s better to be late than never right?

엑소사랑자! ❤️

date written: 08/05/2020

[blogs-of-kim]

blog masterlist

hello! this is my side blog for long essay-like blogs :))

#001

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