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IntiMarch 2024 Day 19 - Trust me enough
The prompt for this was "I'm here for you"
Suguru is an insanely private person, Satoru had enough time by now to realise that. Sure, Suguru talks about what he likes and dislikes and he shares funny little thoughts with Satoru, but he never ever talks about his childhood, his parents or any other relatives.
Satoru knows that Suguru is living alone, even though he’s never been to his place, and that’s all, really.
It’s not that he minds it, much. Suguru is his best friend, despite the obvious holes in his lives and even though he never talks about any of that Satoru doesn’t feel as if he’s being kept out of the loop or if Suguru is keeping secrets from him.
Suguru is still the person Satoru trusts most. It just seems like maybe Satoru isn’t the one Suguru trusts the most because he very adamantly does not want to talk about why he looks like shit.
“You sleeping okay?” Satoru asks well into their evening, when Suguru is half asleep on the couch, listing more and more towards Satoru, his eyebags so deep that for a moment Satoru thought it was make-up.
“Sure,” Suguru’s non-answer is to that and Satoru rolls his eyes.
“Bullshit,” he whispers, which makes Suguru tense for a moment, before Satoru simply pulls him closer towards himself. “Sleep here if you can’t at home,” he decides and Suguru doesn’t even seem to have the energy to protest that, because he goes heavy against Satoru and then that’s that.
He doesn’t even wake when Satoru drags him over to his bed and that, too, is worrying.
It’s not often that Suguru stays over, but it’s by far not the first time they share a bed, so Satoru has no qualms about sliding in right behind him, already thinking about what he could make Suguru for breakfast tomorrow.
These days he’s always buying food for two, because he wants to be prepared for when Suguru drops by without a notice and looking as if he’s ready to keel over at any time.
Satoru is not much of a cook, but during that time period where Suguru lost a few pounds for no reason whatsoever he learned how to cook decently well. It’s still not one of his favourite things to do but he knows enough by now to make balanced meals that won’t kill the both of them in a week or so.
Suguru had regained his weight with Satoru’s constant pestering and so mostly Satoru doesn’t even feel bad about it.
Except for the fact that he needs to pester Suguru in the first place because he’s not taking care of himself. Or he’s trying too hard to take care of himself.
No matter what, Satoru knows he’ll have to bring it up and rather soon, because seeing Suguru waste away in front of him like that is not something he enjoys doing.
But that is a conversation for the next morning.
~*~*~
When Satoru wakes up, Suguru is already awake. He’s still in bed though, and he does seem marginally more rested than the night before so Satoru counts it as a win.
“Had trouble sleeping?” Satoru asks, lazily stretching and daring to throw a glance at the clock.
It’s fucking early and Satoru falls back into bed with a groan.
“No, not when I’m here,” Suguru gives back and it has Satoru perking up, because that is more than he usually gets out of Suguru.
“Listen, Suguru,” he starts and watches how Suguru almost immediately clams down on him.
“Don’t, Satoru,” he warningly says and Satoru shakes his head, his hands reaching out to tangle in Suguru’s shirt.
“No, you will listen,” he orders him and he’s not afraid to stare him down.
Other people might be scared by that gaze but not Satoru, never has been and never will be. Suguru really should know better than that.
Suguru stays stubbornly quiet, but that’s fine since it’s what Satoru expected to happen in the first place and it’s not as if he needs Suguru to talk anyway.
“I just wanted to say, that no matter what, I am here for you. If you ever feel like talking about what the hell is going on with you, then I’m here. You can tell me anything, though I hope you already know that. I just—” Satoru bites his lower lip as he reaches out to push Suguru’s bang away from his face. “I just want you to be okay. And if I can help in any way, then you’ll let me know, alright.”
Suguru continues to stay quiet, which is fine and all, so Satoru gives him a small smile.
“That’s all. Now, any special orders for breakfast?” he then asks as he untangles himself from the blanket and from Suguru and gets out of bed.
“Put some fruit in whatever the hell you’re making, you always eat too much sugar,” Suguru says as if Satoru isn’t the one who has been in charge of keeping both of them healthy lately, but he still nods.
“Sure thing, boss.”
“And Satoru?” Suguru calls out for him, just as he’s about to leave the room.
“Mh?” he asks and turns back, surprised to see the serious look on Suguru’s face.
“Thank you. I—can’t, yet, or maybe ever, but—thanks.”
“Always, Suguru, I promise,” Satoru replies, his heart fluttering in his chest, because this is the very first time that Suguru even so much as hinted at the fact that something might not be okay.
It’s a start and Satoru will gladly take it.
~*~*~
Suguru’s health continues to decline. His face is gaunt, his eyes are tired, the bags are permanent and his appetite is almost non-existent.
Things have never been perfectly fine for Suguru, Satoru knows that because he was already working a job by the time they met and it was more than clear the he kind of needed that one to stay alive but this is reaching new heights.
New worrying heights, Satoru despairingly thinks as he watches Suguru push the food on his table around instead of eating it.
“Suguru,” he carefully starts and Suguru is so out of it that he only gets a weak grunt in reply. “How many jobs are you working?” Satoru wants to know because he suspects it’s no longer just one.
“Two, sometimes three,” Suguru lifelessly replies and Satoru is honestly just waiting for the moment his head drops forward, right into their dinner, like in the movies.
There are a lot of things Satoru wants to ask, wants to know, but he definitely knows that if he pushes too hard or goes on and on with his questions, Suguru will clam up again and he doesn’t want them to fight.
Suguru is so much more prone to fights lately, his temper short and bad and Satoru blames the sleep deprivation and the malnourishment.
So Satoru doesn’t say anything more, and instead puts a few vegetables on Suguru’s plate. He loves those, usually, and Satoru hopes that maybe like this he’ll at least get a little bit of food into him.
It doesn’t work and even though Satoru’s heart sinks, he lets it go.
At least for now.
~*~*~
Suguru’s hands are shaking as he picks up his glass of water and Satoru notices it with worry. Suguru is running himself ragged with whatever the hell he’s doing and Satoru can hardly stand to see it.
“Suguru, are you okay?” he asks, out of the blue and in the middle of a rather dramatic monologue in the movie they are watching but he couldn’t care less.
He only cares about Suguru.
Suguru gives him a warning glance but when Satoru doesn’t back down he lets out a deep sigh.
“I’m staying safe,” he says as if that’s any kind of answer to the question Satoru just asked and so Satoru leans forward, closer into Suguru’s space.
“Okay, but. Are you okay?” he asks again and just like that Suguru bursts into tears.
It’s so surprising that it takes Satoru a few seconds to react but then he’s quick to pull Suguru in his arms.
He shakes and he sobs and he cries for a very long time, and it feels as if Satoru’s heart is being torn into two.
Suguru should never be like this, should never be as desperate and defeated as he is now and Satoru wishes he would just talk to him so that maybe Satoru can fix it.
When Suguru’s sobs die down, Satoru nuzzles the top of his head and asks: “What do you need?”
“To not work three jobs,” Suguru bitterly mutters, his voice still heavy with tears and Satoru nods.
“Okay. Do you need to do that for rent?”
“Among other things,” Suguru cryptically gives back and Satoru sighs.
“If you were to live here, would that make things better?” he asks and curses under his breath when that makes Suguru pull away.
“Satoru,” he warningly says, but his face is still read and there are tear tracks on his face, so there is no way in hell that Satoru is going to back down right now.
“Answer me.”
“I—I could maybe drop one job,” Suguru finally admits, “but I can’t do that, Satoru, you don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me. Why can’t you?”
He’s not asking for the reason Suguru is working three jobs, or what ‘other things’ even entail; all he wants to know is why Suguru cannot move in with him and not bother with rent anymore.
“What if you get sick of me or we fight or something? I’d have nothing.”
It’s a valid concern, even though it makes Satoru wonder what Suguru had to go through so far to have to worry about something like that, but it’s also an easy fix.
“We’ll write you in the lease. That way it’ll be your apartment, too, and you have a legal right to be here, even if I should want kick you out. How’s that?”
“And I pay half the rent?”
“No rent,” Satoru shakes his head. “Absolutely not. It’s not as if—you said one job. Living here with me would only allow you to quit one job.”
“Yeah,” Suguru says, already closed off again and Satoru knows that he’s not getting any kind of explanation as to why he needs the jobs in the first place.
“What if—what if we do the same thing with my bank account?” he asks and Suguru stares at him with huge eyes.
“Huh?”
“I mean—you know I have more money than I reasonably know what to do with thanks to my family, so—why not use that? We can make it a shared bank account and you can take as much or as little as you need. We’d pay the rent from that account too, so it’s almost as if you’re paying your share and then you don’t have to worry about money again.”
“Fucking rich people,” Suguru mutters under his breath but some of the desperation has left his eyes and that’s all that matters to Satoru right now.
“I’d still want to work one job and save that money up in case—”
Things with us go wrong, Suguru doesn’t say but Satoru hears it loud and clear.
“Suguru, I don’t want you to stop working at all, not if you enjoy doing it. I just want you to stop working three jobs at once and killing yourself over it.”
Suguru works his jaw, clearly thinking things over and Satoru—for once in his life—is content to wait him out.
It’s important that he doesn’t push him too far too soon, because he definitely doesn’t want Suguru to shut down on him again.
“I’d—have to think about it,” Suguru finally says and Satoru lets out a breath of relief.
That’s better than he dared to hope for, if he’s being honest.
“That’s fine,” he immediately agrees and tries to pull Suguru into another hug again, but he stops him with a hand on his chest.
“Satoru, I might not ever tell you,” he warns him, without elaborating but Satoru understands anyway.
“That’s fine, Suguru,” he gives back and tugs on Suguru’s arm until he gets the hint and crashes into Satoru’s chest. “You either tell me all of it, or just some or none at all and it’s all fine. If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s fine, just know that I’m here. If that changes, I’m here.”
“It—it’s not just me, Satoru. I can’t—it’s not just me. If I fuck up, it’s not just me that’s going to suffer.”
A thousand questions are at the tip of Satoru’s tongue at hearing that but he swallows them all down. He already pushed enough for today, Suguru’s admission is proof enough of that.
“Okay. Think about it. The offer stands and it has no expiration date.”
It’s all Satoru can do, at the moment, besides being there for Suguru.
Suguru opened up more to him than ever before and for now it has to be enough.
~*~*~
Satoru wakes up to incessant knocking at his door. He groans as he rolls around to check the time and then he curses when he realises it’s the middle of the night. Satoru has half a mind ignoring whoever it is that’s disturbing his sleep right now but the knocking doesn’t slow down and there’s no way Satoru can get any more sleep like this.
So he rolls out of bed, disgruntled and mad, and he hopes both those emotions show on his face as he yanks open the door.
Only to freeze completely in surprise when he spots Suguru at the other side, with a little girl in his arms and one standing behind him.
Suguru looks scared and tired and weary and both girls are silently crying.
“I’m sorry,” Suguru says when Satoru can’t find his voice fast enough and it finally jolts Satoru into action.
“Come in, come in,” he steps to the side, motions for them to get in, and only barely catches the girl still standing when she falls forward as her support moves away.
“Fuck, Nanako,” Suguru mutters, but Satoru hoists her up in his arms and the girl is asleep before her head hits his shoulder.
“I’ve got her. Let’s put them down in my bed. Do they need something?” he asks, gently pushing Suguru towards his bedroom.
“No, they just—sleep would be good.”
Not just for the girls, Satoru suspects, and so he nods.
“Alright, off we go then.”
They get the girls situated quickly and silently and when Suguru wants to leave the room with Satoru, Satoru stops him with a hand to his chest.
“You, too, Suguru,” he says with a nod towards the bed.
“I need to explain,” Suguru protests and Satoru narrows his eyes at him.
“Is anything you want to explain to me time sensitive? Do you have to be somewhere tomorrow, is something going to happen if you don’t do something on time?” he asks and waits until Suguru shakes his head. “Then off to bed you go,” he says and pushes Suguru back towards the bed. “I’ll be here and we can talk after you got some sleep.”
“Fine, fine,” Suguru mutters and then pulls Satoru into a hug. “Thank you.”
It’s not as if Satoru has done a whole lot yet, but he still hugs Suguru back before he shoves him towards the bed again.
Satoru is burning with questions but Suguru seems ready to keel over at any moment and an explanation can wait until the next day.
~*~*~
Satoru wakes up to the smell of coffee. His back hurts something fierce from sleeping on the couch but he drags himself up anyway because the coffee smells exactly like he usually takes it and he’s not surprised to find Suguru in the kitchen, most of the breakfast already done.
“Good morning,” Satoru says, making a beeline to his coffee and Suguru briefly turns away from the stove to give him a small smile.
“Morning.”
Suguru quickly finishes the last two pancakes before he drops everything on the table and sits down opposite of Satoru.
“Are you awake, like, truly?” Suguru asks and Satoru would be offended if it wasn’t such a valid question.
Suguru has had whole conversations with him he doesn’t remember a word of because he was still half asleep at the time.
“I am truly awake,” Satoru promises him and Suguru sighs.
“Okay, explanations then,” he whispers and Satoru’s hand shoots out, covering Suguru’s with his.
“If you want to. You are under no obligation to tell me anything,” he reminds him because it’s important that Suguru knows that.
Sure, Satoru can’t deny that he has a million questions but if Suguru doesn’t want to answer a single one, then Satoru would rather take a no than make Suguru do something he doesn’t want to do.
“I know,” Suguru quietly admits. “I know that, Satoru. I want to. It’s long overdue anyway, I shouldn’t ever have kept any of this a secret.”
Maybe, Satoru wants to agree, but it’s not his place to say and Suguru will have had his reasons, so he bites his tongue and stays quiet.
“The girls were fostered in the same family that I was,” Suguru starts. “Nanako and Mimiko. I—they are eight now. My foster parents got them shortly before I moved out and I talked to the CPS about it but they didn’t listen. My foster parents—things weren’t nice there,” Suguru admits and doesn’t quite dare to meet Satoru’s eyes. “I didn’t want the girls growing up there but no one was listening to me.”
“So you kept in touch,” Satoru guesses, focusing on that instead of anything else Suguru just said. The girls didn’t seem like they were afraid of a stranger last night. They seemed to trust Suguru.
“I tried to keep visiting,” Suguru agrees with a sigh. “My foster parents quickly caught on and demanded money in exchange.”
“You had to pay to see them?” Satoru asks for clarification and lets out a long breath when Suguru nods.
That certainly explains the three jobs he was working.
“I wasn’t ever allowed to see them at home, though, they always dropped them off somewhere. Nanako and Mimiko are bright girls, lively and wonderful, but they got quieter and quieter the more time passed. They wouldn’t talk to me anymore, wouldn’t mention what was going on at home at all. It worried me.”
“And I’d guess rightfully so.”
“Yeah. I went there, yesterday, without prior announcement. I still know where they keep the keys, so I got in. Satoru, you don’t know—” Suguru breaks off with a sob and Satoru moves around the table to hug him.
“They kept them in a cage,” Suguru hisses out between his tears and Satoru goes cold all over.
“What?”
“There was this huge fucking cage in the living-room, like a kennel. They kept them like dogs!”
“Fucking hell,” Satoru whispers because what else is there to say, really.
“I tried to get them out but my foster parents came home before I found the key. They attacked me with a knife for it.”
“They did what? Suguru, are you hurt?” Satoru frantically asks, moving away to flutter his hands all over Suguru’s body, trying to spot any injury.
“I’m fine, Satoru, I’m fine. A paramedic already checked me out, I got one surface slash; it got bandaged and that’s it.”
“You called an ambulance?”
“And the police, too, after I knocked both of them unconscious. All of this happened in the afternoon; I’ve been at the station since maybe 4pm,” Suguru tells him and it’s no wonder that he seems absolutely exhausted.
“What’s going to happen now?” Satoru asks because if the police is involved things might be difficult for Suguru.
“The girls said they want to stay with me, and I also said that I’m amenable to that. I can foster them, no problem.”
“But?” Satoru asks because he senses a big but coming.
He knows Suguru too well after all.
“I—” Suguru awkwardly clears his throat. “I might have told the police that I’m moving in with my boyfriend and I gave them your address for any further correspondence.”
Satoru’s heart threatens to beat right out of his chest but he forces himself to appear calm, even though he feels anything but.
“Suguru, you don’t have to, you know that, right? My offer stands, no matter what and if we have to move to a bigger apartment to accommodate all of you in separate rooms, then that’s no problem. You don’t have to do that because you think you owe me or anything.”
“What if I’m doing it because I’m in love with you?” Suguru gives back and leans in, almost close enough for their lips to meet. “What then?”
“Then I’d say you’re moving in with your boyfriend,” Satoru whispers, before he closes the distance between them. “But I just need to make it clear that you can change your mind at any time. The last few weeks must have been hell for you and I just want you to be okay, no matter what. If this isn’t what you want—”
“Satoru I’ve been in love with you since basically the moment I met you,” Suguru interrupts him with a chuckle and Satoru gapes at him.
“I see,” he finally mutters, darting in to press a kiss to the corner of Suguru’s mouth. “Alright then.” One more kiss. “Are the girls okay with sharing a room or do we have to move?”
“I think for now they are okay with that,” Suguru replies and pulls Satoru so close that he doesn’t have another choice but to sit on his lap. “Thank you. Seriously, Satoru, you’re the best. I don’t know if I could have done any of this without knowing you’d have my back.”
“I always have your back, no matter what.”
“And me coming with the girls now is not too much?”
“Hell no,” Satoru immediately says because he honestly means it that no matter what, he’ll always be in Suguru’s corner. And if he allows it he’ll always be by his side, too.
“I love you,” Suguru sighs out at hearing that and drops his head to Satoru’s shoulder.
“I love you, too, kids and all,” Satoru replies, burying his hand in Suguru’s hair, and pressing a kiss to it as well.
There will be a lot of phone calls to make—changing the lease and the bank account, first and foremost—before they get Suguru’s stuff from his apartment and buy things for the girls, but for right now, Satoru enjoys this quiet moment in his kitchen.
It’ll likely be the last for a while, he thinks when he hears the tell-tale squeak of his bedroom door opening, but as long as Suguru is here, Satoru couldn’t mind that less.
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bloody-bee-tea · 14 hours
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beyond journey's end This is a collab piece I did with @meetimeeti!! I did the composition and characters and meeti did the very beautiful background and effects. Tysm to meeti for this collab opportunity <33 Reuploading is prohibited, thank you.
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bloody-bee-tea · 14 hours
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My fav jjk duo moment
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bloody-bee-tea · 14 hours
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Frieren stuff
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bloody-bee-tea · 23 hours
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I have a theory that Gojo’s big ass hands make baseballs look smaller when he’s holding it.
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bloody-bee-tea · 1 day
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IntiMarch 2024 Day 18 - Drop it
The prompt for this was "Why don't you come here for a second?"
Satoru lets out a weary sigh when he steps into Suguru’s room. He’s been out on a mission all day—without Suguru because they are being split up more often recently—and he’s so ready for today to be over.
The mission wasn’t particularly hard, but the curse was a slippery one and Yaga had made it clear that Satoru wasn’t just allowed to level the entire area to get this done more quickly.
And like the good student Satoru is he had listened but that only allowed the curse to evade him again and again. It took Satoru the better part of the day to finally exorcise that stupid curse and now he’s about ready to crash.
“Welcome back,” Suguru greets him, a warm smile on his face and Satoru goes hot all over when he realises that Suguru expected him already.
Shoko would say something about how they are unnecessary close—you could be conjoined twins, were her exact words—but it’s just like Satoru likes it.
“I’m back,” he says, even though it’s not necessary and with a shake of his shoulders he finally drops Infinity.
He could have done that when he entered the school grounds, but in all honesty, it only ever feels safe to do with Suguru.
Satoru is still watching Suguru, so he sees how his warm and welcoming smile falters for the briefest of moments, before he fixes it back into place. Normally, Satoru wouldn’t even notice something like that but he notices everything that has to do with Suguru, so it doesn’t escape his notice.
“You okay?” he asks, because how else is he going to get an answer but Suguru only continues to smile at him.
It doesn’t even seem forced.
“Of course I am. Do you need to take a shower or are you ready to crash?”
“I’m ready to do whatever you want,” Satoru gives back because he doesn’t care as long as it’s with Suguru.
“I was about to watch a movie.”
“Great, I’m game,” Satoru decides, even though he should probably get some food first, but Suguru is right there on the couch and it’s so much more tempting to simply plop down next to him and then burrow into his side.
“Did everything go okay?” Suguru asks, slinging his arm around Satoru and pulling him tightly towards himself.
“Of course it did, who do you think you’re talking to?” Satoru huffs out and then his eyes fall on a bowl of food on the table. “Is that for me?”
“Take an educated guess,” Suguru teases him and leans forward to get the bowl, dropping it in Satoru’s waiting hands. “I already ate.”
“You’re the best,” Satoru breathes out and he means it, because this is not store-bought food, but something Suguru must have prepared himself.
“And don’t you forget it,” Suguru gives back and pats Satoru’s head before he clicks play on the remote and they fall silent.
It’s the perfect ending to a draining day and yet Satoru can’t shake the minute wobbling of Suguru’s smile.
~*~*~
It keeps happening. It’s never for long enough that Satoru can reasonably bring it up, but whenever he meets Suguru and drops Infinity, Suguru’s smile falters.
And there’s only one person he can talk to about it.
“Shoko!” he whines out as he steps foot into her office.
“Please don’t,” she gives back without even looking at him. “Can’t you pester Geto?”
“I’m here because I can’t,” Satoru laments and drapes himself over her desk. “Because he hates me.”
“Oh, now this changes things,” Shoko immediately says and gives him her full attention. “This promises to be fun. Go on.”
“You’re being mean.”
“And you’re not telling me what insane things you are thinking. Geto, hating you? I’d rather believe that Yaga is secretly a human-turned curse than that, so you better explain yourself otherwise I can’t laugh at you."
“I don’t want to believe it either,” Satoru grumbles, “but he does hate me. Or, well, he hates it when I touch him.”
“We are talking about Geto Suguru, yes?” Shoko asks to clarify. “The guy who tolerates you hanging off him at all possible times, the guy who once complaint that you hadn’t touched him for two days when you were gone on a mission. That guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Why would you think that?”
“Because,” Satoru whines out. “He always—I always drop Infinity when I spend time with him and every time I do that, his smile falters. He greets me with the warmest smile ever and then I drop my technique and it just—it’s hard to explain,” he whispers and thinks for a moment. “Suguru always seems disappointed when I drop Infinity.”
It hurts to admit it, but maybe Shoko can help. Satoru is not quite brave enough to bring it up with Suguru himself, because what if he tells him outright that he hates being touched by him, but it’s getting to a point where Satoru doesn’t even want to go to Suguru anymore, if only so he doesn’t have to see his disappointment.
And that hurts, too.
“That—seems wrong,” Shoko lowly says and frowns at him. “He seems disappointed?”
“Yes, Shoko, disappointed. As if he doesn’t want me to drop Infinity but he’s too polite to bring it up with me.”
“Is he though?” Shoko asks. “Too polite to bring things up with you? He always tells you nothing but the truth and he’s not even kind about it. You really think he’d just take being touched by you—or anyone really—if he doesn’t want to be?”
“I—” Satoru starts but he doesn’t know how to finish that.
It’s true, after all. Suguru is not shy to give his honest opinion or thoughts and he told Satoru more than once that he’s insane, or stupid, or downright wrong and he never once hesitated to do that. So if he really doesn’t want to be touched by Satoru, then he should have no problem telling him that.
“So why doesn’t he say something?”
“Maybe because you’re wrong?”
“But what else could it be?”
“Do I look like Geto to you? Or like a mind-reader?” Shoko wants to know. “Go ask him yourself if it bothers you so much.”
Satoru sticks his tongue out at her, because even though she’s right, it’s really not what Satoru wants to hear.
He specifically came here so he wouldn’t have to talk to Suguru about this.
“You’re a real help, thank you,” he sarcastically says and Shoko gives him her biggest faked grin.
“Always happy to help,” he sweetly gives back and it sounds so wrong that it actually makes a shudder run down Satoru’s back.
“Wonderful,” he mutters as he walks away from her office and he decides to rip the band-aid off immediately.
He’ll go to Suguru’s, get him to admit that he actually hates being touched by Satoru—and that he hates him as well—and then he can wallow in peace and he doesn’t have to wonder about this ever again.
It sounds like a good plan, he tries to lie to himself and swiftly makes his way over to Suguru’s room.
Suguru is on the bed, reading a book but he instantly looks over when Satoru steps into his room and when a smile flits over his face, Satoru’s heart beats faster.
Fuck, he’s going to miss this.
“Listen—” Satoru starts but he doesn’t get very far, because Suguru sits up, his book forgotten and a look of worry on his face.
“Are you okay? Is everything okay?” he demands to know and he seems ready to throw hands with whoever Satoru will name as the culprit for something he doesn’t even understand.
“Huh?” he very intelligently asks and Suguru gets up.
“Are you hurt? Did something get to you?” he asks and he walks up to Satoru, holding his hands out as if he wants to check Satoru over personally, but he stops before he makes contact and pulls his hands back.
“Are you mad at me?” he then asks, his voice suddenly small and he sounds almost hurt.
“Why would I be?” Satoru is too confused to even manage one coherent thought because he didn’t expect this to go like this at all.
He just wanted to know what Suguru has against being touched by him and now Suguru thinks something is wrong with Satoru? Satoru really doesn’t understand how they got here.
“You still have Infinity on,” Suguru mutters, his hands still tightly clasped behind his back and Satoru fights the urge to drop Infinity immediately.
He can’t. Not if Suguru doesn’t like it, though his reaction right now is confusing Satoru even more.
“But—don’t you hate it when I drop it?” he asks and the confusion must be audible in his voice because Suguru blinks at him before he goes red in the face.
“Ah, fuck, you noticed,” he whispers, more to himself than to Satoru and still, Satoru’s heart drops straight to the floor.
So Suguru does hate him, then.
Wonderful.
“I did. I—that’s all I wanted to know, actually, so,” he points over his shoulder at the door, hoping that he doesn’t sound as hurt as he feels. “I’ll be going then.”
“Wait,” Suguru says, his hand shooting out as if he wants to stop Satoru, though of course he can’t make contact, not with Infinity still on.
“Don’t, that’s not—I don’t hate you,” he says, because of course he looked right through Satoru. “Let me explain.”
He takes his hand back before he walks over to the bed, sitting down, propped up against the headboard before he pats the space next to him.
“Why don’t you come here for a second?” he asks Satoru, who still stands in the middle of the room, unsure if he’s even still welcome here.
“So you can tell me you hate me better?”
“So I can explain,” Suguru patiently corrects him and Satoru takes a step towards the bed.
He does want an explanation. He does not want to sit besides Suguru with Infinity separating them.
“Infinity on or off?” he forces himself to ask and the hurt feeling in his chest smooths over the tiniest bit when Suguru smiles softly at him.
“Off, of course,” he replies as if it’s the most normal thing to say and yet Satoru still hesitates a moment before he drops Infinity.
“Thank you,” Suguru whispers and pats the bed again. “Now come here.”
Satoru does as he’s told, carefully settling next to Suguru and prepared to still keep a bit of distance between them, but Suguru doesn’t even give him a chance, because as soon as he is in reach, Suguru pulls him close, tucks him right into his side and rests his temple against the crown of Satoru’s head.
Satoru’s heart feels as if it’s going to beat right out of his chest, and Suguru’s proximity is only half of the reason. Mostly, Satoru is just confused.
“I don’t understand,” he admits and Suguru chuckles slightly.
“Yeah, I bet,” he teases and before Satoru can go off at him for being deliberately mean, he sighs. “That’s my fault. I apologise.”
“Okay,” Satoru accepts and he’s already trying to convince himself to be content with that, to just accept that Suguru might want to be touched by him still, with no further explanation for his strange behaviour when Suguru goes on.
“You’re always beautiful,” Suguru starts with and Satoru jolts at his words. “But when you have your technique activated your eyes glow almost eerily but it just makes you incredibly stunning.” He takes a deep breath while Satoru feels as if he’s stopped breathing all together. “I’m just disappointed when you come here and drop Infinity because then I don’t get to see that. And don’t get me wrong; I love the fact that you feel safe enough around me to drop Infinity, that you allow yourself to be touched by me. That’s not even a question. It’s—confusing, I know.”
It’s not more confusing than what Satoru came up with as an explanation over the last few days, so he lets out a relieved breath.
“You’re such an idiot,” Satoru tells him and moves away from Suguru so he can look him in the face.
Suguru’s hand slides down Satoru’s arm, coming to a stop at his elbow and that’s not good enough, that’s not at all good enough, Satoru decides, and simply takes Suguru’s hand in his, threading their fingers together, all without taking his eyes off Suguru.
And then he activates Infinity.
Suguru jerks in surprise, moves as if he’s expecting his hand to be repelled but when nothing happens, confusion settles over his face.
“What is going on?” he breathes out, reaching up with his other hand to cup Satoru’s cheek in it.
“I can decide who gets through,” Satoru says and then winces. “Actually, I can’t. It’s just—you don’t register for it, not anymore. I don’t know when it happened, but Infinity will never keep you from touching me.”
“So I could have both,” Suguru whispers in awe.
“You can have both,” Satoru agrees with a nod and slightly turns his head so he can press a kiss to Suguru’s palm. “Good?”
“You’re amazing,” Suguru says with a huge smile and now it’s Satoru’s turn to go red in the face.
“Shut up,” he grumbles, which only makes Suguru laugh before he leans in and nuzzles the side of Satoru’s face.
“Now turn it off again,” he whispers and with a shudder, Satoru does as he’s being told.
“Why? I thought you liked seeing my eyes like that,” he gives back, almost petulantly and Suguru nods.
“I do. I like the fact that you don’t feel the need to have it on at all when you’re with me even more. I want you to be able to rest.”
“I do. I can heal myself, so it’s taken care of.”
“I don’t want you to have to heal yourself when you’re with me. I want you to be able to fully rest, to completely let go and not worry about a thing.”
“You just said you like my stunning eyes,” Satoru whines out and a shiver runs down his back when Suguru laughs, low and deep.
“I also said you’re always beautiful,” he corrects and Satoru rolls his eyes.
“Fine. No technique when I’m with you.”
“Maybe don’t drop it immediately when you come in. Maybe wait until the first kiss to do it.”
“The first, huh? How many are you getting in this scenario?” Satoru wants to know but he’s dying to kiss Suguru right now and then keep doing it until they both fall asleep.
“As many as you want to give me,” Suguru replies and finally moves away so that Satoru has enough space to start with it right now.
And he’s definitely not going to stop any time soon.
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IntiMarch 2024 Day 17 - Be a family
The prompt for this was "You don't have to pretend with me"
In hindsight Satoru  really should have checked the intercom before he simply buzzed whoever was downstairs up, but he didn’t and so he now has to be subjected to Naoya’s presence.
It’s his own fault, really, but that knowledge doesn’t do anything to improve the situation.
“What do you want?” Satoru asks, entirely unkindly, and he refuses to let Naoya into the apartment.
This is his and Suguru’s place; Naoya has no fucking place here.
“Aw, don’t be like that, Satoru, come on, let me in,” Naoya sweetly says and tries to shoulder past Satoru into the apartment.
But Satoru stands firmly in the doorway, a tight grip on the door handle and he won’t budge.
“I’ll be however the fuck I want,” Satoru gives back and glares at Naoya. “And you’re not getting inside. What do you want?” he demands to know again and briefly fantasises about slamming the door into Naoya’s face.
Naoya is a literal pest though, who won’t take a hint, and Satoru fears he’s going to make a ruckus. Suguru and he just managed to endear the elderly couple right across the hall to them and Satoru is unwilling to jeopardize that.
“Geto is not at home,” Naoya says and Satoru’s hair rankles with how it’s framed as a statement, rather than an assumption.
“What, you spying on us?” he asks and in all honesty, he wouldn’t put it past Naoya.
He doesn’t make a secret out of the fact that he’s insanely in love with Satoru and he’s unable to take a hint. Or a fucking rejection straight to the face. It’s also not a secret that he’s been trying to get Satoru to break up with Suguru for at least two years now, to absolutely no effect of course.
Satoru would never believe someone as slimy and horrible as Naoya over his own boyfriend after all.
They have more trust than that.
“If I have to repeat myself a third time, my fist will accompany the words,” Satoru threatens and Naoya holds up his hands in defense.
“No need for violence, is the mere suggestion that you’re on your own that upsetting to you? Come on, Satoru, you used to be better than this, you used to be fun.”
“That was before I knew there were better people than you out there,” Satoru shoots back and opens his mouth to ask the same question for a third time, when Naoya goes on.
“Aren’t you wondering what your precious boyfriend is doing right now?” He puts so much derision into his words that Satoru is surprised it’s not dripping out of his mouth but he only rolls his eyes at him.
“And why would I? He went out. In case you don’t know, that’s something people do.”
“Ah, but he didn’t tell you what he was up to, right?” Naoya goes on and Satoru heaves out a sigh.
“He did not,” he agrees, “because he doesn’t have to. I’m not his keeper. He doesn’t have to tell me everything.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, I know it must worry you to know that he’s out there and you have no clue what he’s up to. And in all honesty, it should. You should be very worried.”
“Oh this ought to be good,” Satoru says and leans more firmly against the doorway. “Do tell me what my boyfriend gets up to. Wait, let me guess, he’s cheating.”
“He is, indeed,” Naoya says, so content with himself that it almost makes Satoru laugh.
The guy didn’t even pick up on Satoru’s tone.
“Oh no, really? How horrible for me. I guess you’re here to console me through it and get a kiss or five?” Satoru goes on, and now it finally seems to click for Naoya that Satoru is not taking him seriously at all.
“You might joke now, but he’s meeting his—mistress right now,” Naoya hisses out and Satoru bursts out laughing.
“Mistress?” he gets out between chuckles because that’s just ridiculous.
“I know you don’t believe me, but I know where he is. We can go there right now, then you’ll see him for the scum he really is.”
“The only scum here is you,” Satoru shoots back, though this has him thinking.
Maybe this is a way to get finally rid of Naoya.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Satoru starts with and he hates the exited sparkle in Naoya’s eyes. “I’ll go with you; if he really is cheating, I’ll go on a date with you. If he’s not cheating then you will never ever show up in my or Suguru’s presence as long as we’re together.”
“Deal,” Naoya immediately says, just like Satoru knew he would and Satoru is more than happy to shake hands on this.
There is no way in hell that Suguru is cheating on him, so this is a wonderfully easy way to get rid of Naoya.
Satoru can’t wait for him to realise just how badly he fucked up.
~*~*~
Naoya brings him to the coffee shop Suguru and he prefer, because of course Suguru would be there. He’s probably meeting Shoko, Satoru thinks and can’t wait to laugh with them about this whole situation.
He expects Suguru to properly thank him for finally getting rid of Naoya as well.
“You might be smiling for now, but just you wait,” Naoya says, and it sounds so much like a threat that it makes Satoru sneer. “You’ll see soon enough.”
He leads Satoru past the window at first, pointing at a table farther in the back and indeed, Satoru spots Suguru’s wonderfully broad back and his signature bun.
What he didn’t expect was to see him in the presence of two girls; they can’t be older than sixteen, maybe seventeen and his surprise must be visible on his face, because Naoya practically gloats.
“See, I told you he was cheating on you. And he’s doing it with two girls at the same time! Now, where do you want to go for our date?”
“Not so fast,” Satoru says, rolling his eyes and not bothering to hide it. “You’re such a drama queen; don’t you want a confrontation?”
Naoya pales at the suggestion and that alone tells Satoru that he’s not at all confident about Suguru’s supposed infidelity.
Not that there’s anything to worry about, anyway, because Suguru would never, but he never mentioned that he’s meeting teenagers and now Satoru is curious.
“Come on, come on,” Satoru says and pulls Naoya right into the café and he only stops once they’ve reached the table.
The girls look appropriately confused and while Suguru’s face lights up when he sees Satoru—cheating, my ass—it falls just as quickly when he spots Naoya behind him.
“Suguru! And mystery girls! Naoya has something to say,” he declares, not bothering to keep his voice down and Naoya is going bright red in the face real fast.
It’s hilarious.
“Don’t be shy now, there was something you wanted to say, right?” Satoru prods Naoya who seems to have swallowed his tongue.
The girls share a confused look while Suguru presses a thumb into the space between his eyes.
“Satoru, what is this?” he wearily asks and Satoru gives him his most winning smile.
“Naoya had a very nice theory. Come on, Naoya, you were so adamant earlier. Repeat yourself. What was it you said?”
“I said,” Naoya gets out, his teeth tightly clenched, “that Geto is cheating on you. With them,” he nods towards the girls and Satoru has to give it to them, they recover remarkably fast, because they both instantly make heart eyes at Suguru.
“Oh, Geto-sama, we know you love us. Don’t worry about a thing, we know you wanted to leave this guy for us, we love you, too!” the blond girl immediately croons out and Satoru laughs brightly as he plops himself down next to Suguru.
“Oh, I like you,” he decides holding up a hand for a high-five, which the girl readily reciprocates. “We���re going to be such good friends,” he decides. Maybe he can even be an awesome older brother figure for them.
“Now, Naoya, what were the conditions of the bet?” Satoru asks because by now it should be clear to everyone that Suguru is, in fact, not cheating on Satoru.
“To never see you or Geto again,” Naoya mumbles out and Satoru nods.
“Never ever,” he reiterates. “And now scram. I need to spend time with my precious boyfriend now.”
And just like that, he disregards Naoya and focuses solely on Suguru and the girls. Naoya must leave eventually, because Suguru breathes a sigh of relief.
“What the fuck, Satoru?” he asks and Satoru lets out a scandalised gasps.
“Watch your mouth, Suguru, there are kids present!”
It earns him a kick to the shin, which only makes him smile brighter.
“I do like you. Who are you?” he asks, focusing on the girls.
“Satoru,” Suguru warily sighs out and Satoru pouts at him.
“Suguru, come on, throw me a bone here. The douchebag accused you of cheating on me. My heart was broken! My future destroyed! The agony!”
“Oh, you’re a real handful, huh?” the blond girl whispers and her sister—they have to be sisters—hides her snickers into the stuffed animal she carries with her.
Interesting.
“Don’t even pretend that you believed him for a second.” Suguru rolls his eyes but he also leans close for a kiss. “I wanted to make sure they are fine with being introduced to you, first.”
“Upps,” Satoru lightly says. “That’s busted now. Introduce us anyway.”
“You’re such a menace,” Suguru fondly says and looks at the girls. “Nanako, Mimiko, this is Satoru, my boyfriend.”
“The love of his life, the light of his days, the joy in his eyes,” Satoru exaggerates, and then—predictably—gets very flustered when Suguru just nods to all of that.
“Yeah, he’s—all of that, actually,” he agrees and Satoru whines.
“You can’t just do that, Suguru, my poor heart!”
“You really weren’t kidding, he’s a lot,” Mimiko says, her voice much softer than her sister’s but of course it still catches Satoru’s attention effortlessly.
“You were talking about me?”
“Geto-sama was warning us,” Nanako explains. “About you.”
“About my beauty, surely.”
“About your antics, more like,” Suguru adds and laughs when Satoru pouts at him again.
“Okay, but seriously, I’m sorry I crashed whatever party this is. You want me to leave? Naoya should be gone by now.”
“You’re such an idiot,” Suguru sighs out and leans in for a kiss. “I love you. It’s fine, stay. The girls were already exposed to you, there’s no warning them anymore. Satoru, remember what I told you about the group home?” Suguru asks and it takes Satoru barely a second to understand.
“Oh! Oh, you’re his girls! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”
“You talked about us?” Mimiko asks, seemingly pleased but also quite obviously embarrassed.
“He talks about you a lot. I didn’t realise you were so big already!”
Suguru doesn’t often talk about his own time at the group home, but he talks a whole lot about the girls he met there and who latched on to him as an older brother figure. Satoru knows that even after Suguru left the home, he still went there regularly to see them and as far as he knows Suguru is still doing it.
Satoru always assumed they’d be introduced eventually and it seems he was right about that.
“We’re not kids anymore!” Nanako hisses at him but Satoru only gives her a warm smile.
“Ah, but you are kinda his kids, don’t you know?” he says and that shuts her up real fast, a faint blush on her cheeks.
“Satoru, don’t scare them,” Suguru pleads.
“I’m not scaring them, I am telling them how loved they are,” Satoru argues and presses a kiss to Suguru’s cheek.
Satoru knows that Suguru loves these girls a whole lot and sometimes he’s so subtle at expressing his love that it can’t hurt to hear it out loud from someone else once in a while.
“I knew I should have never introduced you to them,” Suguru mumbles but he leans into Satoru.
“Lies. Why now, though?” Satoru wants to know. “Did something happen at the group home? Are you still staying there? You’re what now, sixteen? Are they kicking you out? Do you need to stay somewhere? Are we adopting?”
Suguru only stares at him through his barrage of questions and the girls seem speechless as well.
“What?” Satoru asks, almost self-conscious when everyone stays quiet.
“Would you?” Suguru breathes out and Satoru frowns.
“Would I what?”
“Adopt? With me?”
“Huh? Of course I would! We can adopt these two if you want—and if they want—and then we can also get a tiny one. I kinda want a tiny one with you, you know.”
“You need to be married to be able to legally adopt,” Nanako chimes in and Satoru narrows his eyes at her choice of words. Awfully suspicious to stress the legal aspect of this but Satoru shrugs it off.
He’ll illegally adopt, too, if it’s with Suguru.
“That’s doable,” Suguru casually says and puts a small black box on the table.
Satoru is still processing what’s happening, when the girls start to squeal.
“For real, Geto-sama? For real?”
“For real,” Suguru agrees, though he doesn’t take his eyes away from Satoru. “Satoru, will you marry me and adopt some kids with me?”
“Fuck yes,” Satoru breathes out, his brain finally kicking back into gear and he tackles Suguru into the wall with his hug. “I’m going to marry you so good,” he whispers against Suguru’s lips, who laughs.
“I have no doubt about that,” he gives back, and kisses him very thoroughly.
So thoroughly that the girls sprinkle water on them to make them stop.
“Alright, alright, sorry, you shouldn’t have to see your parents like that,” Satoru says, moving back to his part of the booth, and brushing imaginary dust off his chest.
“We didn’t agree to being adopted yet,” Mimiko reminds him and before Satoru can say something Suguru talks.
“We know that, we just got carried away. Of course it’s your decision, but—” he nervously bites his lip.
“You’re already prepared,” Satoru says when he finally understands his hesitation. “Did you talk to the group home?”
“What?” Nanako screeches out and Mimiko clutches her stuffed animal.
“I did,” Suguru admits. “Every time I came in, I talked to the head of the home. We have most of the stuff figured out. A marriage is—in fact—not necessary, not in this case, just so you know, I’m not just marrying you for the kids, and I wanted to breech the subject with you once I introduced you to Satoru.”
“I see, you’re marrying me for love. How quaint,” Satoru huffs out and leans over the table. “Seems as if your dad has it all figured out already. Weekend sleepover to see if it could work?” he asks the girls, Suguru’s big hand warm on his back and the girls smile at him, almost shyly.
“Sure,” they agree and Satoru turns to Suguru, who immediately kisses him again.
“I am marrying you for love, you idiot,” he whispers when they part. “Because I do. I love you a whole lot.”
“Samesies,” Satoru teases him but then he goes serious. “I do love you, too. Just so you know.”
“You wanting to adopt kids with me kinda gave that away,” Suguru tells him and quickly kisses him again. “Now, we didn’t even get to order drinks. Do you want to do that here or do you want to come with to our place?”
“Ehm, excuse me, coffee to go is the obvious choice here, oh husband-to-be of mine, do keep up with the trends, would you.”
“Oh, this is going to be hilarious,” Nanako whispers.
“It’s going to be exhausting,” Mimiko adds, but she seems just as delighted as her sister, so Satoru doesn’t even pretend to be upset.
“Alright, I get it,” Suguru laughs out and pushes Satoru out of the booth. “Let’s go home then.”
That sounds like a very good plan, Satoru thinks and smiles brightly at his soon-to-be husband and soon-to-be daughters.
A very good plan.
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Favourite ship dynamic pt 3: 10 step skin care routine & the one who thinks water = soap
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JUJUTSU KAISEN 2 / 呪術廻戦 (2020-) 2.14 | “昏乱” • Fluctuations
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Are you a jujutsu kaisen fan because you’re depressed or are you depressed because you’re a jujutsu kaisen fan
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"You are my most twisted curse."
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IntiMarch 2024 Day 16 - Only on me
The prompt for this was "Come closer"
Suguru has known that Satoru is a vampire from the very beginning. He kind of has to, being a regulator and all, and in all honesty, Satoru wasn’t trying to hide it much.
At least Suguru hopes it was a deliberate choice because otherwise Satoru just sucks at keeping secrets and they really can’t have that, not when it would impact so many people if it ever came out that all the mythological beings are real.
And Suguru hadn’t been stupid about it, either. He didn’t quite monitor Satoru—he’s old enough to care for himself even if he’s still in the somewhat human and aging stage—but Suguru kept a close eye on suspicious deaths or disappearances in the area.
He’s not proud to admit it, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he realised that Satoru wasn’t going around mindlessly killing people and that there would be no reason for him to interfere or god forbid collar him.
So, all in all, things are great.
Except they are not.
Because something is happening with Satoru, something Suguru can’t put his finger on and it’s a constant worry in the back of his head.
“You okay?” he asks Satoru one day, when they are on the couch, watching a movie or something—Suguru long stopped paying attention—and Satoru’s leg continues to bounce long past the initial sugar rush has worn off.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asks, not even meeting Suguru’s eyes and that more than anything is a dead give-away that something is bothering him.
“Because you’re being strange,” Suguru says and just as Satoru opens his mouth he adds: “Stranger than usual.”
“Oh, wow, thank you very much,” Satoru gives back, but he doesn’t elaborate and he doesn’t explain or offer any other kind of answer as to why he could be off like that and Suguru has had enough.
He switches the TV off.
“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” Satoru demands to know and he finally turns around to glare at Suguru.
“There you are,” Suguru breathes out and drops the remote control. “Now tell me what the hell has you this nervous.”
“It’s—nothing,” Satoru tries again, even less convincing than the first time he deflected and Suguru glares at him until Satoru caves under his gaze.
“I’m handling it, promise,” Satoru whispers out, turning his head away and curling up small on the couch. “No need to get all bossy on me.”
“Then let me get all friend-y on it,” Suguru says and waits for Satoru’s confused look before he goes on. “Let me help. Like a good friend does.”
“This is not something you can help with,” Satoru whispers out and Suguru immediately knows that there is something he might be able to help with, Satoru is just too prideful to say it.
“That’s a lie and we both know it. Tell me what it is.”
“Why are you so—” Satoru cuts himself off and throws the pillow he was clutching to his chest straight into Suguru’s face.
“Why am I so what?” Suguru catches the pillow easily. “Helpful? Concerned? Such a good friend? I really don’t know.”
“Haha, very funny, never laughed so much,” Satoru grumbles under his breath and Suguru softens, leaning against Satoru and dropping his head to his shoulder.
Maybe this approach will get him better results.
“Satoru, please,” he quietly says. “You seem stressed and I don’t like seeing you like that. What’s bothering you? I really just want to help you.”
“Yeah, right,” Satoru mutters out. “And then you’re going to report to your family and then what? I’ll be collard in no time, just like my family said.”
Now that took a turn Suguru didn’t expect.
“Why the hell would I collar you? What is going on?”
Satoru stays quiet for a worryingly long time, but Suguru decides to wait him out. Sometimes, Satoru responds well to being pestered, to being prodded and annoyed until it all spills out of him in an annoyed rush, but sometimes he needs to sit and gather his thoughts and think about how to say something and Suguru learned to read those two different moods rather well.
Right now, it’s a thinking mood.
“Shoko is no longer getting blood bags,” Satoru finally whispers out and Suguru’s eyebrows fly up in surprise.
“She didn’t mention anything like that,” he gives back, because it doesn’t seem like a topic Shoko would keep quiet.
It sounds more like something she would complain about.
“Yeah, well,” Satoru shrugs awkwardly with one shoulder. “Apparently Yaga is asking why so many blood bags are disappearing and she said she couldn’t risk it anymore.”
Now that brings Suguru up short.
“Wait,” he says, straightening up and turning fully to Satoru. “Are you—is this how you feed yourself?” Suguru wants to know and it doesn’t make sense.
They leave the campus often enough that Satoru can get something to eat down in the city, it shouldn’t be a problem.
“Of course it is,” Satoru snaps out. “What do you think? At least, I used to. Now I can’t anymore and it’s making me itchy. Mind you, it’s not yet that bad that I’m going to randomly attack people,” he rushes out. “But—it’s hard. I haven’t figured out how to get a new supplier yet.”
“No, wait, back up,” Suguru says, and the urgency in his voice seems to be quite audible because Satoru finally turns around to him.
And now Suguru can see it, the signs of hunger on him. It all makes sense, except for how it definitely doesn’t.
“Why don’t you just—feed?”
“On what? Did you not listen, there are no more blood bags.”
“But—Shoko is there. I am right here. We go down into the city several times a week. You could easily find someone to feed on. How are you not feeding at all?”
Satoru reels back as if he’s been hit at those questions, before a look of pure hurt flashes over his face. It’s almost enough to make Suguru take back whatever hurtful thing he just said, but in the end the confusion wins out.
“Satoru—”
“You could have just said that you want me gone,” Satoru suddenly hisses out and Suguru is horrified to see tears in his eyes. “Why would you say these things? Is this a test? Are you going to call my Clan the minute I say yes?”
Suguru takes a deep breath. Something is going very wrong here, and it’s not going to help if they continue their talk like this.
“Satoru, let’s calm down,” he carefully says and immediately goes on when it looks as if Satoru wants to protest. “You and me both. You’re upset and I am very confused and I don’t think we’re having the same conversation at all.”
“Of course I’m upset!”
“Okay, I can see that. Tell me why,”  Suguru cajoles him but Satoru only stares at him with huge eyes.
“What do you mean why?”
“I mean just that. I don’t understand why my questions would upset you like that, so you have to explain it to me. Please.”
“What is there to understand? You know the rules,” Satoru hisses at him and Suguru struggles to keep calm.
This is not going to get them anywhere.
“Let’s assume I don’t.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s just assume for a second that I don’t know the rules. Explain them to me.”
“So you can send me away?” Satoru asks and Suguru knows he wants to sound stern and annoyed but it comes out so scared and so hurt that Suguru pulls him into a hug.
“Satoru, I would never send you away. Don’t—don’t tell this to anyone but I would cover up a murder for you. So whatever it is, I’m not allowing anyone to take you away from me.”
It’s not even a lie; Suguru never gave it much thought before today, never thought he had to, really, but if hiding a body or covering up Satoru’s trail means he gets to stay right where he is, by Suguru’s side, he’d probably do that and maybe even worse.
No one is going to separate them.
“What are the rules?” Suguru asks when Satoru stays quiet and Satoru slumps more heavily against him, clearly giving in.
“It’s not allowed to drink from humans directly,” Satoru mutters, his hands tightly tangled in Suguru’s shirt. “If someone does, they lose control and then they need to be collard by you, your line. My Clan made it very clear that they’d put me under a controlling spell before they let me be collard but—that’s not any better.”
For a moment, Suguru sees red.
Satoru must notice something because he stiffens in Suguru’s arms.
“I know my rules,” Satoru whispers, as if that makes anything better and Suguru forces himself to be calm again, even though there’s so much rage swirling in his chest.
“Who told you that?” he forces himself to ask and wonders just who he has to kill for this.
“My Clan,” Satoru gives back and Suguru tightens his arms around him.
Satoru is never ever going back there, not if Suguru has something to say about it.
“Satoru, it’s not true,” Suguru starts and hides his face in Satoru’s whispy soft hair. “That’s not true at all, those are not the rules.”
Satoru practically radiates surprise so Suguru is quick to go on.
“You’re allowed to feed on humans. It’s expected that you feed on humans, actually, because this—fuck, Satoru did you ever have anything besides blood bags?” Suguru asks and a new kind of horror settles into his bones.
“No,” Satoru admits and Suguru wants to weep.
They are basically starving Satoru that way.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Suguru mutters. “Blood bags are a last resort when you can’t find anything else. The blood in there is—dead, or so I’ve been told. It’s not the same, it’s not the same at all. It doesn’t have what you need to properly survive!”
“I’ve survived fine until now,” Satoru mumbles but Suguru shakes his head.
“You haven’t. If this powerlevel is you with blood bags, you’re at least twice as strong if you feed properly, trust me.”
“How do you know so much? You’re not a vampire.”
“But I am a regulator. We’re there to help. Teach control if a vampire is abandoned after their siring. Help abused vampires.”
Like you, he doesn’t say, because he can’t bear to say it, even though it’s exactly what’s been happening.
“Of course I would know a lot, I’m here to make sure things go well between humans and vampires.”
“Are you—can you help me?” Satoru whispers and Suguru holds him even tighter.
“Of course I can help you. You’re going to feed on me, today, but we’ll go down into the city later this week, no worries.”
“Suguru!” Satoru moves away from Suguru, his eyes huge with surprise. “I can’t feed on you! What if I lose control?”
Suguru’s instinct is to tell him that that’s not going to happen, but if Satoru has never tasted warm human blood then chances are he might.
“I’m strong enough to stop you, should that happen,” Suguru gives back, because it’s the truth. “Unlike unsuspecting humans. You can’t hurt me, I won’t let you, but you really do need to feed.”
“Promise. Promise me, Suguru, that you won’t let me hurt you,” Satoru begs him and Suguru is quick to comply.
“I promise, Satoru. I won’t let that happen.”
Satoru bites his lower lip, worrying it with his teeth and Suguru nudges him.
“What else?”
“Promise me you’re telling the truth,” Satoru says, barely audible in the room and Suguru’s heart hurts for him.
“I promise you that I am telling the truth. I promise you’re allowed to drink of people, as long as you don’t kill them. It won’t make you lose control and it won’t make you a bad person or whatever bullshit your Clan told you.”
It’s an effective way to keep a vampire under control, keep them sheltered and scared and weak, but not for much longer.
Suguru won’t allow it.
“Alright,” Satoru whispers. “What do I do?”
“First of all, come closer. It’s best to drink here,” he points to the place where neck meets shoulder. “You need to break the skin, so don’t hesitate to bite down. It won’t hurt—much—because you’ll automatically administer something that numbs the pain and stops the blood from congealing. You drink until you feel like you’ve had enough or until I tap you to pull away.”
“And you will. Tap me, if you have to.”
“Of course.”
Satoru still hesitates, but his gaze is already fixed on the point where he’ll have his teeth in just a few moments and Suguru knows that he’s not strong enough to move away now.
It’s already a wonder Satoru has gone this long with attacking anyone, and Suguru is not at all worried.
If Satoru has never attacked a person, his self-control is stronger than he gives himself credit for.
“I’m sorry,” Satoru says, right before he moves in, and the pain when he finally sinks his fangs into Suguru’s skin is blinding for a moment, before everything goes pleasantly numb.
Satoru makes a surprised noise against his skin and Suguru guesses that’s fair. It is a lot to take in, first time feeding, and he reassuringly strokes Satoru’s hair.
“That’s it, just like that,” he encourages him, feeling Satoru drink from him and Suguru didn’t even stop to think about how that would feel.
No vampire has ever fed from him, and now he’s glad that Satoru is the first. They can be each other’s firsts like that.
Satoru stops way before Suguru thought, though he doesn’t retreat completely. He takes his fangs out of Suguru’s skin, but then he moves his lips over the spot, as if he wanted to kiss the ache away.
Suguru feels hot all over.
“How was it?” he forces himself to ask after a long moment, Satoru’s lips still exploring his skin and he shudders when Satoru lets out a deep sigh.
“Good. Very good. You’re—tasty,” Satoru admits. “You taste like my favourite treat.”
“I do, huh,” Suguru weakly gives back. “So, you’d want to do it again?” he can’t help but to ask, because maybe he just needs Satoru to say yes to that.
“If I’m allowed to,” Satoru replies and climbs fully into Suguru’s lap. “If you’ll let me.”
“Always,” Suguru whispers, using his hand still in Satoru’s hair to raise his head.
Satoru makes an unhappy noise when his lips are detached from Suguru’s skin, but Suguru barely gives himself a second to notice the healthy flush to Satoru’s cheeks before he reels him in for a kiss.
“I hope I’m allowed to do that more often, too,” Satoru rasps out when they part and Suguru laughs.
“You can do that as often as you want. For the feeding thing, we’ll have to see how much blood you need and how well I take it, but as often as possible. I—” Suguru briefly bites his lip, but then decides that they already kissed, so what is there to hide. “I don’t want you to feed on anyone else,” he admits and Satoru’s eyes sparkle.
“I wouldn’t want to do that, either,” he agrees and nips at Suguru’s lips until he can’t take it anymore and kisses him again.
“Glad we’re on the same page about that,” Suguru murmurs against his lips when there’s the space to do so and Satoru takes that chance to nuzzle his cheek.
“Thank you,” Satoru says, accentuating the words with kisses.
“Always,” Suguru promises again, because he means it.
And going by the way Satoru blushes—fuelled by Suguru’s own blood—Suguru would guess he understands.
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bloody-bee-tea · 3 days
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*insert a cheesy cowboy joke*
work in progress (one of many)
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bloody-bee-tea · 3 days
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"If you sneak out again, I'll tie you to the bed next time"
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