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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Fuck me and all that I stand for, I don't wanna
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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I consider this evolution at its finest. Who wants to actively go to church other than virgins trying to do some Christian mingling and middle aged mothers looking to torture their kids for having to audacity of being born.
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Don't make statements when you don't know they're true. Much like the Buddha, my dick is ONE with the universe.
nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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I must say and i cannot emphasize enough, CAW
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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"I've come to slay the evil that has ravaged the land, i must hurry for the people need me"
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"I MUST KILL CHAOS BEFORE FOOT LOCKER CLOSES! RRGGAAAAHHHGGSGSGSH"
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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You've left me no choice, i've expended my mind, body, and gas to bring you this pizza and you dare not tip me even a single dollar? Prepare to kiss your broke ass goodbye
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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So thats what they've been feeding the frogs
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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What they don't know is that Shaggy's packing heat in that dress.
gender
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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It's amazing how people can just bold faced say "These greedy childcare workers want SEVENTEEN dollars an hour? I'm making twenty and barely getting by, how am I supposed to pay them that!" with no self awareness of what they're saying. Like sir if you are struggling at 20$/hr and the babysitter lives in the same town as you, pray tell how you think her life is somehow easier than yours when she's making even less than you per hour, while also needing to buy her own insurance and with no pension for retirement because you have benefits and she doesn't. Oh that's right, that kind of thing doesn't occur to you, because to you she's just a machine you extract value from.
This is what capitalism does to a mfer. Never think about making things better for anyone else, only cheaper for you.
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Will that be with or without bones
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“Hello Little Caesars? 5 orders of Normal Bread please.”
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Me and my murder hate turfs
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YOU hates terfs
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Unfortunately it was diet coke.
In other words a SMaLl dIcK
He lunged after my cock like he was a polar bear. And I was the last coca cola on earth
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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This man was making the soundtrack to his own death
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Look thanks for the recipe and all but the fact that you said you used canned lemonade makes me want to exfoliate my inner flesh.
If that lemonade isn't made from pure lemons, water, sugar, sweat, blood, and tears of a child trying to make a buck fifty on a june afternoon then it's no lemonade of mine.
one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Realistically speaking: This chair wields to much power. imagine seeing someone in that, coming at you at 70 mph. Not even the police would try to stop them. They'd be busy cleaning the shit they've just expelled, while i dash by them in said chair and spit at them, the french bastards.
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a terrifying chair that i would never sit in
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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Nice try satan, trying to get me to go to the back of an "Arbys". I'd rather go the the back of a Dennys, and there's nothing but pain and misery back there.
Can we PLEASE just stop pretending Arbys is real, it’s not! I’ve wiped it from the simulation! Move on! NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WORKED THERE, THEY DON’T EXIST
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bonecrow5 · 3 years
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You can't fool me. If you're real then where are you hiding the meat? I don't mean the stuff you microwave, i mean the REAL meat
Can we PLEASE just stop pretending Arbys is real, it’s not! I’ve wiped it from the simulation! Move on! NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WORKED THERE, THEY DON’T EXIST
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