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Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite  

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Domestic sitcom about a were-whatsit whose inner-city apartment is declared a protected habitat after it turns out that – quite unbeknownst to them – the thing they turn into is a recognised endangered species.

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GIRL you are KILLING IT! GIRL i don’t think it’s MOVING ANYMORE. GIRL you can STOP BITING

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This ABSOLUTELY works.

I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.

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new organs coming out soon

medium intestine

gallkidneys

inferior vena cava

table of contents

semi-colon

die-r (opposite of liver)

pancreas 2 

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Enough random notes that have a written story on them as environmental storytelling, explore the space, get crazier with it.

You move into a house and aw cute, it has the kids height on the walls but you notice there's a three foot difference in height between measurements, you check the date, they're a month apart. The final measurement is on the ceiling. It's dated two days ago.

You're part of a recovery team that have finally found a stranded ship, they were found too late and have all passed a long time ago. They all died of starvation. You enter their storeroom, it's filled with food. In the dining hall you find the tables laden with perfectly fine looking breads, cakes, cured meats, jams, candies. Your medic says all the people sitting at the table didn't eat a Thing.

You wake up in an apocalypse. You can't find anyone at all as you wander the streets but you do hear faint music playing from somewhere. You stumble into a supermarket, to see all the aisles still full, except for the shelf that was full of ear plugs, which look to be the only thing that was looted.

Like there's light, sound, props. Having a street where every house is decimated except for One. Landing on a planet known for having No Water and a plant is growing and you don't know where it could have possibly gotten moisture from but you can't find the citizens Anywhere.

I'm sorry, I'm just kinda over the "graffiti on the wall to show the bad guy is around". That's not environmental storytelling that's just normal story. Show me I'm in the villains territory by the rain suddenly cutting out above me as I'm driving, even though it's meant to be raining all night. I park the car and step out, and realise the constellations are Wrong, until I see they're Not constellations, they're the blinking lights of a massive ship-

I Will stop now because everytime I go to write a sentence it devolves into another prompt but I'm just saying we have a Lot of senses, engage them, show me the Environment in environmental storytelling.

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The only thing crazier than a character clearly intended to be gay but kept in the plausible deniability subtext zone due to censorship issues is a character in a series where only like one of the writers clearly intended them to be gay. So this character is just gay sometimes and nobody acknowledges it

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this meme is so niche

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We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

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qualia: the internal and subjective component of sense perceptions, arising from stimulation of the senses by stuff

(That's also so I don't need to look it up again.)

i think a lot of people would be happier if they viewed labels like homosexual and transgender as social technologies rather than identities

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbt+ #social construct #social class #gay #homosexual #trans #transgender #philosophy

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Broke: Democratic and Republican Parties

Woke: Bar Mitzvah Party

#democratic party #republican party #dp #gop #bar mitzvah #bar mitzvah party #bat mitzvah #bat mitzvah party #b'nei mitzvot #b'not mitzvah #funny #humor

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if this post reaches 1k notes before the end of my school year i’ll pick my old novella up again

if this post reaches 5k notes before the end of my school year i’ll convince my mother to get me tested for exercise-induced asthma

if this post reaches 10k notes ever i’ll deep clean my room

#doing my part #please reblog

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if this post reaches 1k notes before the end of my school year i’ll pick my old novella up again

if this post reaches 5k notes before the end of my school year i’ll convince my mother to get me tested for exercise-induced asthma

if this post reaches 10k notes ever i’ll deep clean my room

#please reblog

[bookanimeart]

if this post reaches 1k notes before the end of my school year i’ll pick my old novella up again

if this post reaches 5k notes before the end of my school year i’ll convince my mother to get me tested for exercise-induced asthma

if this post reaches 10k notes ever i’ll deep clean my room

#Attack!!! #please reblog

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elves are portrayed incorrectly in fantasy. if they knew about deforestation they'd straight up jack off to it

#funny #humor #elves #fantasy