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borahaerhy · 5 months

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Sorting the BTS Members into Hogwarts Houses bc I can

My credentials: I have two hyper fixations in my life, the only two things I actually care about, the only two things I spend all day and night thinking about and they are: Harry Potter and BTS.

Without further ado, here is how I would sort them

THERE ARE ONLY TWO THAT I AM CERTAIN OF, ONLY TWO THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE THAT THEY ARE IN THESE HOUSES AND THEY ARE:

Jung Hoseok: Hufflepuff

Where tf else would he go

Sweetie pie

Chill

Always trying to be nice to everyone and make everyone seem loved and appreciated

Possibly a stoner

OBSCENELY humble and cool

Mom Friend™

Min Yoongi: Slytherin

Smart as fuck

Knows what he’s good at and doesn’t need any validation whatsoever

Not unwilling to cheat in order to win a game

Along that note: Competitive

EXTREMELY prideful in where he came from

Confident

NOW AS FOR THE NEXT TWO, I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN ON WHAT HOUSE THEY WOULD BE PLACED IN, BUT I COULD SEE ARGUMENTS MADE FOR OTHERS. THEY ARE:

Kim Seokjin: Gryffindor (?)

Cool Guy™

Funny, class clown type

Studies well, but prefers to do just about anything else

Competative, but moreso in theory

Like he goes to all the quidditch matches and screams so loudly for his team, and talks made shit on whoever they’re playing against, but would never actually play the sport.

Overly Confident

HOWEVER

I could literally see him being sorted into any of the houses and it making sense.

Hufflepuff?

Sure, he’s a chill guy.

Prefers to spend his time relaxing rather than doing things

Has known how to sneak into the kitchens since first year, and does it almost nightly.

Ravenclaw?

Why not? He’s smart and works hard

Dad jokes are basically cheesy riddles, so he can get into the common room no problem

Would probably be studying anything other than what’s been assigned to him.

Slytherin?

He might not fit in perfectly, but the traits are there

Smart mouthed and overly confident

Doesn’t need validation from anyone

Competative - very okay with cheating/lying in order to win the game

It’s all in the name of fun, right?

He could be literally any of them bro idek at this point.

Kim Taehyung: Hufflepuff

All for chilling the fuck out

Sporatically hyper

Also possibly a stoner

Doesn’t like when others are left out

LOVES ANIMALS

Also class clown vibes but more like he just wasn’t paying attention and was accidentally funny when he was called on

BUT I could see the argument for Ravenclaw:

So smart bro

Would have an absolute blast with the riddles

Probably loves researching niche topics that have nothing to do with anything but he’d much rather know if polyjuice potion would give it’s user the same ailments as the person they’re becoming than complete the essay McGonogall assigned two weeks ago

You can’t really tell if he's just really smart or a little crazy (affectionate)

NOW, WE MOVE ONTO THE BANE OF MY EXISTANCE, FOR HE IS SPLIT DEADASS DOWN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN TWO HOUSES, AND I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME DECIDE WHICH ONE IS MORE ACCURATE. I PRESENT TO YOU:

Park Jimin: Slytherin/Hufflepuff

He’s a Slytherin because:

Smart, but make it mischievous

Knows exactly how to get what he wants

Very sure of himself

C O M P E T A T I V E

Get’s top grades and will tell everyone about it

Generally not unwilling to cut a bitch

But he’s a Hufflepuff because:

The most loyal and empathetic man to maybe have ever existed

Will do anything to make his friends/loved ones happy

There are more important things than academics (still gets top grades though)

Generally not unwilling to cut a bitch

AND FINALLY, THIS LAST SECTION COULD’VE GONE INTO THE SECOND SECTION JUST FINE, BUT I’M PETTY AND DISAGREE WITH NAMJOON’S SORTING DECISIONS (that he made like 7 years ago) AND LIKE I CAN SEE HIS POINT BUT HE’S SO WRONG. FINALLY, AT LONG LAST, WE HAVE:

Jeon Jungkook: Ravenclaw/Gryffindor

He’s a Ravenclaw because:

Very smart, and he definitely prides himself on it to some degree

A true Jack of all Trades

Wants to be the best at everything, and is very willing to work towards getting it

Namjoon said he’d be a Ravenclaw (and who am I to argue with Joonie?)

But he’s a Gryffindor because:

Outwardly, he’s the most Gryffindor person you could get

Competative

Athletic

Academically driven

Popular Jock type

A mischievous little shit

Seriously, would make the Marauders proud

But he would take the house cup so fucking seriously guys

I cannot stress that enough

If they lost even one of the years he attended Hogwarts

He’d never let it go. It would keep him up at night for years to come

(And I feel like that’s a very Gryffindor trait)

(Turns out I’m very willing to argue with Joonie. Sorry, babe)

Note: Regardless of all of this, I think it'd would be hilarious if Jungkook was still sorted into Ravenclaw. He's just outwardly extremely Gryffindor, bringing complete chaos and unprecedented success to Ravenclaw that they haven't seen in centuries. 10/10 concept.

SPEAKING OF JOON:

Kim Namjoon: Gryffindor/Ravenclaw

He’s a Gryffindor Because:

Outrageous amounts of leadership potential

Because Namjoon said he’d be a Gryffin– damn I already made that joke

But he’s a Ravenclaw because:

Do I really have to say it?

The smartest person I’ve never met

An actual genius

Would get top grades but only because he’s smart so everyone expects him to

Would much rather be researching literally anything else

Animagi

Unicorns

The Philosopher's Stone

Literally anything because he’s in a magic school and anything’s possible

(He would also be muggleborn, but that’s more of my own headcannon)

Really couldn’t give a fuck less about Quidditch

Or winning the house cup

Wtf is house pride? I’m just here to read, man

ALSO, in my PROFESSIONAL OPINION, he would really fw Divination, and I generally just don't think Gryffindor's really do, because it's so theoretical.

If you have any other points that I've overlooked please let me know, I love talking about this kind of shit.

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borahaerhy · 8 months

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"Bet on It" is what made Jungkook realize he wanted to be an idol, can still do the full song and dance at any given moment, no warm up or refresher needed.

y’all think the tannies know about high school musical

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borahaerhy · 8 months

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I absolutely love regime and dealer . You are the best ♡♡♡ ilysm

tysm 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ily please have an amazing day

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borahaerhy · 8 months

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YES OFC I ADDED U TO THE TAGLIST LOVEY TYSM!!! <333333

Regime - one || myg

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x NewRecruit!Fem!Reader

Genre: Anti-Capitalist Gang au, Found Family, Smut, Angst

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Warnings: y/n uses all the self-defense, quite literally bites a chunk out of someone's hand, everyone has a gun, there are a few hostages, Yoongi kicks someone in the face, y/n very casually holds a gun to someone's head, references to y/n's childhood being... interesting (relatives' drug usage briefly mentioned), Yoongi's tries to manipulate y/n for like 2 seconds, y/n definitely has depression, someone gets murdered, Yoongi almost exclusively goes by Agust, References to Nick being hella shitty, what the fuck is going on with Kevin?

Wordcount: 3.2k

Previous | Next

It was odd.

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early.

But today was different. It wasn’t a holiday, and there should have been plenty of work to get done; yet there was no one. Not a single car in the parking lot. As you drove past, you turned your attention to the side of the building, where security parked. You pulled into the space beside the empty car of one of your coworkers, Nick.

But it’s ten minutes until shift change; first shift should still be here. Did Nick let them leave early for some reason? Aside from yours and Nick's, there was only one other car in the entire lot. A black SUV parked haphazardly beside Nick's car; and it was still running.

While all of this might scream “danger” to others that would have seen it, to you, while it was weird, that's all it was: weird. It’s a relatively small company; one where there were so few employees that they were all friends. Everyone knew everyone and they often all liked to fuck with one another, maybe this was just some kind of prank.

While the company was small, it was also one that had no problem fucking over its employees when it comes to their paychecks; even whenever the company execs wanted to come in and check the place out, they certainly never would’ve listened to any complaints about pay.

You cautiously walked up to the door and punched in the pin before you opened the door and stepped in. As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you walked into something you definitely wished you hadn’t.

Tied up in the middle of the floor was the owner of the building, and the one who ran this branch of the company, Kevin, along with the guy supposed to work your shift with you, Nick. They were completely surrounded by men in black, all of them with guns pointed at the two men's heads. Kevin looked like he just got into a fight and lost; blood covering him, his nose crooked while Nick had a swollen lip. In front of them, there was just one man, but as soon as your eyes had adjusted to the dark building, all of them were looking at you.

Seconds after you walked in, your arms were pinned behind your back and a hand covered your mouth. “Just make sure she doesn’t go anywhere for a second, I have to deal with this asshole before I talk to her,”

While as a security officer, you hadn’t been formally trained in any kind of combat, you did grow up with uncles. A lot of them, and they would all get varying levels of high and various substances and decide that you needed to know how to defend yourself.

So while the man that spoke, the one standing in front of Nick and Kevin kicks Nick in the chin - no doubt knocking out a few of his teeth - you stamped down on the foot of the man behind you and bit a chunk of flesh from his hand clean off. He screamed, letting go of you so you could turn around and knee him in the groin as one of your hands took the gun out of his side holster and held it to his head.

You stood beside him, facing the group of people with one hand holding the gun to his head while the other was up, level with your head to show you weren't armed more than what they could see. You spit out the chunk of flesh that you still had in your mouth, mostly for dramatic effect, and slowly moved your free hand down to wipe the blood from your lips.

Everyone was staring at you, even the boss was staring at you with a kind of intensity that would’ve been hard for anyone to withstand. “You can finish whatever you were doing, I’m not going anywhere, I just don’t really like people touching me,” Your hand was back up next to your head, but no one moved. All the men just looked back and forth between their boss and you, and Kevin and Nick both looked like they’d just been saved.

The one that just kicked your coworker, the one you presumed to be the boss, started walking toward you. He moved slowly and carefully as he pulled each of the weapons he had on him, showed them to you carefully, before he threw them down on the ground. He pulled one last weapon from the inside of his boot, a small pocket knife, and threw it to the ground, too, as he stopped a few feet in front of you.

“I’m unarmed, and so is he. I would appreciate it if you put the gun down,” He spoke calmly, eyebrows raised and hands up. While it was hard to think of where he’d be hiding a seventeenth weapon, you also wouldn’t put it past the man that just pulled sixteen weapons off his person to have a secret compartment in the bottom of his shoe.

Your eyes narrowed as you looked at him, his face covered with a ski-mask like the rest of them, only his eyes visible to you; dark brown pools of honey that bore into you, but they weren’t as harsh or intimidating as you would’ve thought someone like him to be. They were soft, almost gentle as they moved back and forth between yours.

“You might not be, but they are,” You looked over at the men that surrounded your coworker and boss, his gaze following yours.

“They’re not going to do anything, you’re not the target here; they are. Just put the gun down and we can talk,” You looked carefully at him, then at the people behind him, before you slowly raised the hand with a gun in it, before crouching down slightly and slid it across the ground, making sure it was well out of reach of anyone before you stood again.

“Kay, come get Mars and clean him up for me, everyone else, don’t let them move a muscle,” He was facing his men as he spoke, but turned back to you once he’d finished. “You probably know this place better than I do, so I’ll let you lead the way,” You looked over to the door to one of the conference rooms briefly, before you looked back over to him, Kay already collection Mars from off the ground beside you.

“That room there would work fine, I’ll meet you in there but I need to get my water out of my bag,” He looked you up and down skeptically, about to say something before you cut him off again. “It’s just to rinse your friends hand out of my mouth, I’ll leave the bottle out here,” He paused slightly, then nodded once, stepping toward the door you’d just referenced to. You moved slowly as you got your water from your bag, rinsing out your mouth thoroughly before you took one last gulp and swallowed it. You put the bottle back down and headed into the room.

“You can have the chair, I’ll stand,” He gestured to the only chair in the room as he leaned against the table across from you. You crossed your arms and leaned against the door.

“I’m good with standing,” He nodded briefly before he took his mask off, revealing his admittedly handsome face to you.

“My name is Agust, I’m the leader of the group of people out there with your coworkers. We’re here because Kevin, the owner of this branch has been stealing from his employees to pad his own pockets-”

“And why’s Nick out there?” You asked, trying not to let your anger show too much, but your not sure how successful you were judging by the look on his face.

“Nick’s here because when he pulled in, I had my guy out in the parking lot run his tags and we found him to be… a really shitty person, to put it mildly,” You swallowed thickly, feeling almost a sense of relief that your suspicions were right, and you weren’t just overthinking about him.

“Yeah, that checks out,” You nodded, looking down at your feet as you let your arms fall, sliding them into your pockets. “So why are you here? Kevin likes to fuck over his employee’s, sure, that’s shitty, but what’s in it for you?” He looked you up and down again, as if trying to gauge whether or not you were worthy of knowing this information or not.

“I’ll tell you, eventually, but I have a few questions of my own first,” He crossed his arms as he stood straighter.

“Like?”

“Your name, for starters,” You laughed slightly, extra air flying out of your nostrils as you smirked lightly and cocked your head to the side.

“Ah, so I’m supposed to believe that you had someone run Nick’s plates but not mine?” It was his turn to smirk, his head falling slightly as he nodded.

“Alright, Y/n. Let’s get really into it, then,” His demeanor changed, the once kind eyes now seemed to drop their facade, his face bore a cocky smirk and his overall presence was that of a leader. Someone calm and collected, even when his initial plan was swept off it’s feet; he still knew exactly what his next step would be. “Why are you pretending you don’t care about Kevin fucking over his employees?”

Your own attitude changes slightly as he forces you out of your facade the same way you did his. Your shoulders dropped slightly as you felt all the color drain from your face. You cleared your throat a stood up a little straighter, trying to mimic his own attitude. “Because I’d like to know a little more about you and your organization; I already knew Kevin was a piece of shit, I don’t need you, or anyone else to tell me that,”

His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked you up and down again. There was something about the way he was looking at you, as if he was trying to see into your mind, see what you were thinking. “Why would it matter who I am if I want to bring someone like him to justice?” You sighed as you changed your stance slightly as you tried to think of a way to explain.

“It matters because all you’d have to do to get me on your side is tell me what Kevin’s done, how long he’s been doing it, and what you plan to do about it; and I’d probably agree with you based purely off my emotions rather than if I actually agree with you or not. But if I know who you are, what you and your group are capable of, and what you plan on doing in the future, I can judge you based on logic; wether you’re inherently shitty or not.” A knowling smile seeps across his features, an almost proud look as he listened to you speak.

“And why would I want you to agree with me, princess?” You scoffed, although you were far from offended; knowing the game he was playing.

“I’ve seen your face and I know that you’re the leader; not to mention the chunk of DNA that belongs to your friend still wedged between my teeth, and how it got there. Either you have to find a way to get rid of me, or recruit me,” He looks impressed as he steps down from the table and takes a small step toward you.

“Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Yoongi, and I’m the leader of an anticapitalist organization. We steal from the rich, especially the ones that make a game out of fucking their employees out of the money they worked hard for. I don’t want to get rid of you, as you put it, because that’d be a waste; but I don’t want to recruit you just because you took a chunk out of one of my best man’s hands - or because you took his gun from him like it was nothing, or because I know you have plenty reason to want to fuck over the same people that have fucked you and your family,” He paused, taking another small step toward you, now standing less than a foot away from you.

“I want to recruit you because you’re scared shitless right now,” His voice was much lower, a serious tone filling the space between you as the smirk was gone from his face. “You still don’t know if I have a weapon on me, or if I’m going to let you out of here alive, or if we’ve hurt any of your friends or coworkers. But here you stand, speaking to me as confidently as someone that knows they’re more powerful than me,” His eyes bore into yours as if he could see your entire life laid out on a platter with just one glance.

“So, Y/n,” He took a step back, arms crossed over his chest confidently as he looked at you almost sweetly. “You’re not who we were after, and I don’t find you to be a threat to us. So, you’re free to go, if you want. You don’t have to worry about us following you or keeping tabs on you; you can just go home, go on with your life and forget this ever happened.” He paused, looking you up and down. "Or,” He leaned back against the table, one leg crossed over the other.

“You can come with us,” You stood silently for a moment, eyes only leaving Yoongi when he finished speaking. You pushed yourself from the door and took a few steps over to the window and looked out of it, taking in the world as you had been seeing it for the past several months, before you closed your eyes, drinking in the inky black that the cover that your eyelids provide.

You’d noticed that everything looks different throughout different phases of my life; as if there are filters over your eyes that change the colors and shadows in accordance to how you’re feeling. Some memories are all cool-toned, some warm. Some memories look yellowed, like they’d been tea-stained while others seemed more vibrant and vivid than anything else you’d ever seen.

For the past couple of months, everything’s been dull. The world’s almost been in grey-scale as you try to find a purpose; try to find something to do with yourself. Nothing looks or feels like it used to; but for the first time in months, you are scared. You’re terrified. You smile as you relish in the feeling, the first true, raw emotion you’d felt in months.

When you open your eyes, there’s color in the world again. The trees dance in the wind with various shades of red and orange and brown; the sky beyond them littered with soft purple hues as the sun was already beginning to set into the autumn sky.

“What happens if I decide to go with you?” You turn to look at him as you finish speaking, a light smirk on his lips before he turns to face you.

“You come back to our base with us, we show you around, show you the ropes, and figure out how you’d best assist us. Then, if you decide you want to leave, you can. If you still want to have your job here and go back to your home and just help us out on the weekends, you can. You can also live with us and work with us full-time; but no matter what, I’d be sending you home tonight. This is something you need to think over.” You nodded again, still trying to take everything in.

“And as far as Kevin goes, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” You shook your head and raised your hands, stopping him from saying anything further.

“I don’t want to know anything about what he did,” Yoongi nodded as he looked at you almost empathetically. “But, I’ll uhm, I’ll go with you,” His facial expression softened lightly as he smiled at you.

Your relief very quickly changed when he reached behind his back and pulled out yet another gun and out the barrel right next to your head and pulled the trigger, shooting through the wall behind you. The sound was deafening but you didn’t flinch, your eyes never leaving his as his smirk grew wider yet.

“Wait here, Princess. I’ll come back to get you in a few minutes,” He pulled the mask back down over his face before he opened the door and stepped out, all eyes suddenly on him. “She had a real fucking mouth on her, didn’t she?” Yoongi sauntered back over to where his captives were tied up, gun casually swinging in his grasp as he walks.

“Kept talking about her mom; something about her still being alive if only she’d gotten her benefits like she was supposed to,” He kneeled down in front of Kevin, using the barrel of the gun to point at him. “That sound familiar to you, Kev?” Kevin was shaking, eyes wide as they bounced back and forth between the gun and Agust, who was only smirking at the terrified face of his captive.

“Cat got your tongue? Nick?” At his lack of response, Agust moved the gun from Kevin to Nick, the barrel now only inches from his head. “Do you know anything about that?” Nick shook his head wildly, eyes clenched shut as tears spilled out of them.

It pissed him off how scared they acted. He had a gun to their heads and they just bawled like babies; as if they hadn’t done the same thing time and time again to others. Kevin took money away from people that needed it. Money that he definitely didn’t need; and in doing so, he took away not only financial stability, but the lives of the people that depended on that money.

And while Nick didn’t steal from the poor like Kevin did, that didn’t make him any less of a piece of shit. He’d been accused of many crimes in his life; including attempted manslaughter, statutory rape, and several different domestic violence charges, but he’d never been convicted of any of them. There was never even a trial, just complaints dropped the day after they were filed, along with several very large transactions coming out of his obscenely rich father’s bank account.

So watching them sit here and sob when their lives were threatened, knowing fully that they’ve put others in this very situation with their greed and ignorance enraged him. August pressed the gun to Nick’s temple and pulled the trigger, blood spraying all over Kevin's face in the process.

Kevin screamed, loud sobs filling the warehouse that only pissed him off more. “Shut up, would you?” The gun was back under Kevin’s chin, his sobs silencing almost instantly as the gun forced him to look up. “I’m not going to kill you,” He took his time pulling the gun away from Kevin, eventually putting it into the waistband of his jeans before he carefully stood, his gaze already on the door you were behind as his men pulled Kevin up and dragged him out to their car. “Not yet, anyway.”

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @bangtan4everr @angrydonutzonkpickle @secfir @useryoonmin @idkjustlovingbts

#bts #yoongi #tysm #ily #<3

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borahaerhy · 8 months

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HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY, JEON JUNGKOOK! (insp) September 1st, 1997

#icon #jeon jungkook #happy jk day #!!!#this set is so cute oml

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borahaerhy · 8 months

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Regime - one || myg

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x NewRecruit!Fem!Reader

Genre: Anti-Capitalist Gang au, Found Family, Smut, Angst

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Wordcount: 3.2k

Previous | Next

It was odd.

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early.

“You might not be, but they are,” You looked over at the men that surrounded your coworker and boss, his gaze following yours.

“You can have the chair, I’ll stand,” He gestured to the only chair in the room as he leaned against the table across from you. You crossed your arms and leaned against the door.

“I’m good with standing,” He nodded briefly before he took his mask off, revealing his admittedly handsome face to you.

“And why’s Nick out there?” You asked, trying not to let your anger show too much, but your not sure how successful you were judging by the look on his face.

“I’ll tell you, eventually, but I have a few questions of my own first,” He crossed his arms as he stood straighter.

“Like?”

“Your name, for starters,” You laughed slightly, extra air flying out of your nostrils as you smirked lightly and cocked your head to the side.

“Ah, so I’m supposed to believe that you had someone run Nick’s plates but not mine?” It was his turn to smirk, his head falling slightly as he nodded.

“And why would I want you to agree with me, princess?” You scoffed, although you were far from offended; knowing the game he was playing.

“What happens if I decide to go with you?” You turn to look at him as you finish speaking, a light smirk on his lips before he turns to face you.

“And as far as Kevin goes, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” You shook your head and raised your hands, stopping him from saying anything further.

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @bangtan4everr @angrydonutzonkpickle @secfir @useryoonmin @idkjustlovingbts

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