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gotta say i don't like how many "how to pass ftm" guides are straight up just like. be monotone and uninterested and don't engage in your "feminine" hobbies and don't wear bright colors and don't be polite and don't smile at people and don't show emotion ever. like how precisely is this a healthy thing to be teaching people (especially the young people these are often targeted at)??? i am a bubbly boy. a cheerful chap. a merry man. a good-humored guy. a glowing gent. a veritable ray of fucking sunshine and i am NOT toning that down!!!! fuck you!!!!!!!

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Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.

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confusing comic about existing as a trans person during confusing times of trans visibility.

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they need to start making testosterone you can apply as lip gloss

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Ian Stone, Doubting Thomas, oil on linen, 12x16 in, 2023

"If you know the painting by Caravaggio, Doubting Thomas, it was my direct inspiration for this piece.

A doubting Thomas is a skeptic who refuses to believe without direct personal experience. 50-60 years ago, it was not uncommon for people to think or believe that being gay was a phase or a mental illness or deviance in some shape or form. It's embarrassing that the same things are being said about trans people today."

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going on HRT is a serious decision you should make with the utmost gravity. people might think you're cool, badass even. You might find yourself happy with your life, approaching the world with newfound wisdom one way or another. It might be what you want. It might get you off. It might just be a cool story to tell people. I, myself, found the initial experience was like I had sleepwalked through a nightmare for a quarter century - and for the first time, not just the first time I could remember but actually the first time, I was awake, and the sun was shining, and the world was beautiful. So obviously all of those are risks

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“I’m becoming who I am and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done.” Posted from the PostSecret website.

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Beautiful Scars

Redbubble

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My relationship with mirrors has been a real rollercoaster over the past year and half or so. Don’t get me wrong, I can still absolutely rip my reflection to metaphorical shreds on a bad day. But more often I find myself passing by the mirror and liking what I see more than I ever have before.

We’re in a better place now, me and reflective surfaces.

Twitter / Patreon / Instagram

(Description after the cut)

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♡ Accepting trans kids is suicide prevention! ♡

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So I just heard about “Primed: The Back Pocket Guide for Trans Men and the Men Who Dig Them.” It’s the first sexual health resource written by and for gay, bi and queer trans men/ transmasculine people, put out by Rainbow Health Ontario, and it’s a very frank guide that answers basically any questions you might have about safer sex. They’ve released it for free download here.

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bedridden with dysphoria rn

#i think if i get up ill die or smthn

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epic transmasc moment

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commissions open

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