bpdshan

[bpdshan]

current goal: make it through the week

long term goal: make it through all the weeks

[bpdshan]

i need to remember that if i get a very sudden flash of nausea, it probably means that im going to faint, not be sick, and that i should lay down immediately.

last night i rushed to the bathroom because of it but ended up collapsing onto the dirty floor. i should’ve just stayed in bed, but it really felt like i was gonna throw up in the next 10 secs. why is my body such a trickster

#emeto tw #fainting

[bpdshan]

If you break pinkie promises you’re a weirdo and I hate you

[bpdshan]

you cant flatten yourself anymore. because of the woke

there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d

[bpdshan]

wish they could roll my spine out with a gigantic steam roller like in the good old days

there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d

[bpdshan]

there are 100 million glow sticks living in my back and they must all be snappe,d

#chronic illness #chronic pain #back pain #autoimmune

[bpdshan]

got myself outside to the shop for the first time in a while. now my nose is runny and i can’t stop sneezing. i got outside cooties

[bpdshan]

“communication is key” i say, as i ghost all the people i care about because i cannot express my feelings due to trauma

[bpdshan]

can’t stop reading this as wlw gel

[bpdshan]

and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?

[bpdshan]

just less than a month till my scan,,, i have no idea what to expect regarding the findings

quite an anxiety provoking thing, but the sooner the better

#soft tissue scan

[bpdshan]

not to be weak on main but I kinda miss not being in excruciating pain 24/7

[bpdshan]

food bank apple your size too tiny, your swagger too different. they’ll kill you food bank apple

#demolished in 3 seconds

[bpdshan]

yippee !! looks like i’m getting a levothyroxine trial !!!

#oh i hope i get it soooonn #my case is marked as urgent lol

[bpdshan]

actually i wanna be loved how i love and i don’t think the love within me is too much

#bpd #actuallyborderline #actuallytraumatized #ptsd

[bpdshan]

today my doctor said that i *definitely* have an autoimmune disease and told me that i was right from the start, and that i know my body, and thanked me for persisting. i’m going to endocrinology for a hashimotos diagnosis sometime soon.

(previously, she would insist it was mental health related during a lot of our time together, but i would always strongly disagree)

character development 😌

#chronically ill #hashimotos #chronic pain #autoimmune #hashimotos thyroiditis

[bpdshan]

yay i finally have a date for my ultrasound

#next month