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I think my latest Bluesky post will do better over here actually

#I have doordashed IHOP #more than once. #it's actually not THAT bad they have good containers #but yeah in general IHOP should be a place you go physically

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People think being self aware cancels out mental illness. That when you realise your thoughts or behaviours are irrational you just stop having/doing them

Instead what happens if you're extremely self aware and mentally ill is that you just think in a resigned kind of way "I'm being really fucking crazy right now" while being very loudly mentally ill

Sometimes you are able to tell the people around you "oh, you can ignore me rn. I'm just being extremely mentally ill rn. It will eventually pass" and then continue your erratic behaviour. But mostly it's just privately thinking: "well this is embarrassing but I can't turn it off so just gotta deal with it I guess."

It's infuriating honestly

#yooooo for fucking realllllllllll #like yes i get it you remembered a bad thing please calm down

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actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

#parentheticals are how you put tumblr tags in the main text

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Dear Sigmund is such an episode. We go through the mental disorders of every single character and dissect them all so carefully and then it gets to BJ and it's just like "yeah he's probably more fucked than everyone else, but we're not gonna get into it" and then the episode just ends

#kicking the concept around the writers room but no one could agree on what exactly is wrong with bj #he is just. the most character. you know what I mean #horrible mustache. inscrutable psyche. bisexual as all hell. #compels me though #mash

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Eliot rattling off murder tips and Sophie going “I’m scared now” and Eliot saying, in a complete duh tone, “I’m here.” Looking genuinely ‘wtf’ for a second when Sophie says, “You’re what’s scaring me.” Eliot, who’s been taught to see himself as a weapon, having been so effectively retrained by Parker (and a little bit Hardison and the others, but mostly Parker) treating him as if the thought of being hurt while he’s around, let alone by him, is patently ridiculous, because obviously he’s always going to protect them, that the thought of one of the team being scared of him - or being scared of anything else while he’s around - becomes automatically, instinctively absurd. My baby he’s grown so MUCH

#I also think it's a little bit like playing into the joke? #like eliots pretty emotionally intelligent when he chooses to be #and he and sophie have a playful sort of banter between them #and also Christian Kane is really good at a sort of low energy/low status straight man #like not to take away from the point of the post because it is true and right #I just also think Eliot played up the confusion a little bit #cause like he knows how he sounds yknow #Eliot does that on purpose that gruff no nonsense tough guy thing #and sophie pokes his buttons it's like their thing yknow they sometimes get catty with each other #cause sometimes it's fun to be a little catty to someone you know won't take it personally #leverage #what a good show

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the problem with my particular intersection of my particular disabilities and part time work in general is that even jobs that are supposed to be flexible kind of... aren't. like I wanna work maybe 10 to 12 hours a week but to even hire they want you to commit to like 15 to 20 and like sorry man I'm too disabled for that

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#ohhh I am looking disrespectfully #I love it when men wear shirts that frame their tits

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M*A*S*H | 1.14 - "Love Story"

#they should make a comic book adaptation of mash that's like deadpool #where hawkeye is aware of the fourth wall and the writer #that would be fun I think #mash

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I’d watch that

#series finale material tbh #reverse survivor call it the most dangerous game changer #actually one target tag WOULD be kind of cool if you set it up right #and I wouldn't put it past sam #game changer

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the lifeguards all do a weekly community sona assignment where everyone is assigned yknow cereals or TV characters or music genres or whatever and last week my boss who is 20 human years old was trying to think of what occupation/major/field of study best described me and while he was pondering mental health careers I said "now think very carefully about how you're about to vibe check me" and one of the instructors in the office was so entertained by what I thought was pretty routine phrasing for when your boss is about to assign you a position in the field of mental health that will definitely say more than he intends about what he thinks of you

(he eventually settled on social worker, and I thought, with a sort of insipid condescension, 'ohh this kid should be at the club. :( ')

#honestly being like 15 years older than my direct supervisor with more years of both life and pool experience #is like kind of a weird balancing factor to the fact that he's my boss? #and it's like very specifically because this particular kid is pretty nonconfrontational and clearly wants to be liked #idk it's like very freeing to know if I ever fuck up so bad at the rec center I need to burn the whole branch immediately #like there are similar jobs that are probably easier than I could do on drugs #anyway my point was that I was sort of cautiously flattered by how funny she thought I was #you know how when you receive a compliment that you think might be a trap #weird kid syndrome you get it

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watchin VIP ep 10... the moment a real live dog was brought out ally beardsly FULLY exited the bit they were no longer an improv actor they were a guy with a dog in their lap and honestly relateable

#brinn watches #'what's the first word you think of when you look at this picture?' 'LGBTQIA+' took me OUT ajdhg #dropout #idk how we;re tagging this one

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i hate to be that guy, but the idea that gender, sex, and sexuality are ontologically pure concepts that can be rigidly defined if we simply police our language enough (our english language, because of course) is—i cannot stress this enough—a total waste of time. you may as well spend your afternoons teaching a brick how to swim

#perfect taxonomy is an impossible lie!!

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all the information is on the task

#SAM WHY WERE YOU AT THE TASKMASTER HOUSE

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Chen Chen

#yeah!!!!!!!! #all of my favorite poetry is stuff that's just like.... true #what is a heart but a haunting #that's all the words you need for that it's exactly the words you need for that and specifically that #change is a fever!!!!!!!!!!! #it's just true it's true in context it's true broadly like #idk the best metaphors are the ones that are so so so specific #like the way queer people describe their gender #like pretzels on a tier list about chips

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I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

#the Situationship #he's so sweet he gets all worried about objectifying me and I'm like no I am trying to be an object right now #whether that's good for me or not is a separate matter from the fact that I like and want it #like honestly hanging out with this mostly straight dude has also been beneficial for me accepting my own like masculine desire #I'm not like a man but I am a butch so you know #anyway the point is desire isn't evil and wanting something isn't a crime #and if you're operating with basic consent it is good and fine to express that desire #like. your partners want you to want them. #which does go both ways but ykwim

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enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to

#I mean Emily Henry a woman I know in real life #she deserves fame though #she's a great singer and an incredible writer and also the sweetest person on earth #but yeah she's a local artist so lmao

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man. the star wars sequel trilogy could have been so good if they hadn't fucked it up

#the thing is star wars WOULD be so good if it was good #it has good bones #star wars