brotherlysuggestion

[brotherlysuggestion]

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

#mod static #not mine #not a suggestion #chronic pain #disability #pain management #medication #Random fact about me: I believed until I was like 18 or 19 that taking painkillers slowly made you build a resistance #so you should use them as little as possible otherwise by middle age you’ll be immune to painkillers and they won’t help #I have also gotten cluster headaches as often as two or three times a week since childhood #Let me tell you when my husband informed me that I was lied to as a kid and I can take pain medication freely? #My life literally got SO MUCH better. Now when I hurt I pop a couple of ibuprofen or a migraine relief med along with my other steps #(at least 8 oz of water. eat a snack. use the restroom just in case. breathe in steam from the shower. if all else fails then #it’s damp cold washcloth over my eyes in the dark time) #seriously please don’t be afraid or guilty of pain meds I love you guys

[brotherlysuggestion]

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

#mod static #not mine #disability #neurodivergence #pro tips #social scripts #household chores #self care #self maintenance #life skills

[brotherlysuggestion]

Alt text:

It’s ok to be disabled and happy. Being disabled does not mean you have to constantly suffer.

#not mine #disability #disability positivity #chronic illness

[brotherlysuggestion]

The first Grown Up Adult pro tip I have for my little sibs is that LG Electronics/Home Goods straight up has the worst customer service and machine servicing process I’ve ever undergone and I beg of you to consider a different brand tbh.

#mod static #not a suggestion #but also like… #brotherly advice #Hi!! I’m still here!! I’m sorry I have a very sweet ask I still haven’t answered but life is crazy tbh #but I NEEDED to pop in and say this because like #I spent TWO MONTHS back and forth with LG about my window AC unit!! #still under warranty btw not even a year old!! #so I switched to Midea that has much better reviews on customer service care. so I’ll let y’all know if I have problems how that goes #LG customer service STRAIGHT UP hung up on my husband!!! and I was there the entire time and he was firm and assertive but not aggressive #and that’s only one of like. 5 or 6 calls I’ve had to make over this process? and only one of them ended up not being a nightmare #on the off chance Lexi who works at LG is reading this. Why’d you hang up on my husband? we just wanted the repair guy to come back :c

[brotherlysuggestion]

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

#not a suggestion #not mine #self care #self assessment #mental health #physical health

[brotherlysuggestion]

hey older bro, i don't know if you're even active anymore but... i don't even know what my issue is or what i want to hear to be honest. i'm just really tired. my irl older brother is an asshole and he's trying to drag me to yet another "party" where he gets to parade me around like a zoo animal while all his friends laugh at me cause i'm weird and gay and alt and i don't get social queues and i just really wish he would stop.

but i love him, and i'm willing to do whatever i can to be around him. so i'm obviously gonna go. idk i just wish things were different.

sorry for bothering you

- a tired little sister

First of all, you’re not bothering me at all! None of my lil sibs could ever bother me by needing a place to vent or asking for advice, I promise. 💖

Secondly, onto your actual message… (Using a readmore because we all know I’m long winded, lol).

More than anything, I’m just so sorry to hear that you’re being treated like this. If someone is going to parade you around, you’d deserve for it to be because they think you’re so cool that they can’t help but want to show off to others how amazing their little sister is (and also done with your consent to being shown off, of course). There’s nothing laughable about you being different; if anything, it’s cool how despite (presumably) being raised in the same home, you and your older brother have such different aesthetics and ways of expressing yourselves! That should be celebrated and appreciated, not laughed at or belittled.

I could go on to say how this isn’t right and your brother isn’t treating you with the same love that you clearly hold for him, or how you should put your foot down. I don’t want to be pressuring or pushy though (clearly you have enough of that already), so I won’t go on any tangents without you expressly asking for it.

I will ask you to think about if this kind of relationship is sustainable for you, though. Sometimes loving someone has to include boundaries not only for your own sake, but for the sake of the relationship’s integrity. “I love you, so I won’t let you treat me in a way that makes me resent you”. “I love you, so I won’t stand by and let you go down a bad path in life without speaking my mind”. “I love you, so while you figure yourself out I’m going to give you space to avoid permanently damaging my opinion of you”.

Obviously you should do, or not do, things for your own sake! You deserve to be protected and cherished, and your older brother isn’t being a good big brother (or person, really) by encouraging situations that demean you. But sometimes for myself I’ve noticed that it’s easier for me to set boundaries when I keep in mind that ultimately, setting healthy boundaries mean you’re invested in that relationship enough to try and make it work! Healthy boundaries mean that you’re looking for longterm sustainability, and that’s as much of a declaration of love as anything! It’s tough when other people don’t always share the same view, but maybe remembering this for yourself can make you more confident in your right to have boundaries and limits?

No matter what conclusion you come to from this, or how you decide to move forward, I hope that you can take some reprieve in the fact that this isn’t a permanent life stage, most likely. I hope that I’m not assuming too much by thinking that you two might still be high school aged, or maybe barely in college? If I’m right, then honestly even if your brother stays an asshole, the people around him will find it less and less entertaining, most likely. Which will give him less and less reason to do it.

Tbh, on a college campus I wouldn’t even blink twice if I saw someone in full EDM Rave attire or an entire Victorian hoop skirt dress and corset. Eventually in life, most well adjusted people get to a point where weirdness becomes less of a “laughing at you” thing and more of an “admiration from afar, and I’m actually a little bit delighted when I see you despite never having spoken to you” type thing… At least in my experience. (Shout out to my old campus’s student that looked straight up like a modernized Rasputin. Or that guy who took a longboard everywhere. You made my days brighter). This isn’t an incentive to put up with it to “try and stick it out” though!! But it is a reassurance to maybe help you emotionally deal with this behavior and any potential resulting conflict.

Also, I’m sure you already know this stuff, but I’d be a bad older brother if I didn’t at least make note of it: Please try to stay safe at any parties you’re going to! Exercise safety and caution even around people that your older brother seems to trust; you don’t know who someone is behind closed doors, especially if they’re already prone to jerk behavior. There’s a lot of really good resources online for staying safe at parties, but I’ll link a few just for your leisurely-skimming pleasure.

(Tw that most of these mention or discuss alcohol, drugs, accidental overdoses, and/or sexual assault).

UCDavis’s SafeParty Resource Guide. This is my absolute favorite and is very comprehensive. It’s basically a directory where you can click on whatever is applicable to you, or that you’d like to learn more about. I recommend their Ready To Party page (for tips before, during, and during a party), First Time Drinking page (tips and advice that’s good for even experienced partiers imo!), and How to be an Upstander (tips on how to approach advocating for yourself and others in the worst case scenario)

Teen Vogue’s Prom Afterparty Guide. aimed towards hosts and first time partiers, but still has good advice! Especially about potential overdoses.

Teen Vogue’s Spring Break Tips. There’s a lot of advice about traveling, but they have good tips about safety precautions like avoiding coercion, buddy systems, and keeping your phone charged!

[brotherlysuggestion]

One thing I don't think the Spoon metaphor has helped able-bodied people understand is that you can overdraw.

Generally, for most conditions, running out of spoons doesn't mean you collapse, doesn't produce an effect they can actually see. What it means is that you run on life support, quite possibly unsafely, until you get to a safe place and can stop. But you'll owe those spoons back, with interest. You'll have hurt yourself to do it.

Sometimes I hang out with a friend and they'll be like, wow, I'm really glad you had a good day. And I have to decide whether to make them feel bad by explaining that in fact they did not catch me on a good day, and tomorrow will probably be bad. I just made choices.

#mod static #not mine #disability #chronic illness #unironically this would be an excellent way to explain it to some people

[brotherlysuggestion]

this autism acceptance month, I’d like to offer a shoutout to autistic people with high support needs.

it’s okay if you’re never going to be independent. it’s okay if you need help with tasks that other people think are easy. it’s okay if you need help with looking after yourself. it’s okay.

acknowledging that you need to rely on other people is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. you deserve to get the support you need. you deserve to be able to have autonomy over your life. you deserve to be able to lead the life you want to lead, even if that includes more support than the average person.

it’s okay.

#mod static #not mine #autism #neurodivergency #ableism #disability

[brotherlysuggestion]

Want to go on a date with someone with a cane and chronic pain?

- Make sure the place where you’re going is accessible!  Your date might opt to use a wheelchair that day, and if they’re using a cane, best to make sure there aren’t a silly number of stairs involved in whatever date you’re considering.

- Call ahead to the place to see if wheelchairs are available to borrow if you’re going somewhere that involves a lot of walking and standing around, like a museum.

- If your date is using a cane, they likely only have one arm to hold things.  Consider bringing their food/drinks to the table along with yours– let them claim a booth while you get the food!

- Be prepared and willing to be someone’s physical support sometimes, especially if your date is having a rough leg day.

- Be prepared for a Plan B Date: it’s so awesome to have a back-up plan for the date if the day comes around and your person is spoonless.  Believe me, it’ll mean a lot.

#Mod Static #disability #chronic pain #accessibility #dating #romance #not mine

[brotherlysuggestion]

I was talking about being afraid of people leaving me behind because I'm too sick, and my boyfriend just looked at me and said: "It's my choice to be your boyfriend. It's your friends choice to be your friends. You don't have to understand it, but you have to respect our choice. Don't try to make the decision of whether you're worthy of people on their behalf because that's not your decision to make." I think that's an important thing to remember. That whether we're worthy of someone's time and effort is something others can decide for themselves regardless of whether or not we agree with them. There's a lot of peace in realizing that literally all you have to do is accept the love other people choose to throw your way. That you aren't the one who gets to determine that you aren't worthy of their love. That other people can choose to love you regardless of how you feel about yourself - and that you can learn to respect their choice even though you're feeling unworthy.

#mod static #not mine #relationships #friendships #relationship advice #disability #mental illness #self esteem #interpersonal skills

[brotherlysuggestion]

#mod static #not mine #tiktok #life lessons #life advice #wellbeing #mental health #I wish this had a proper source and credit #but it’s lovely so I’m rbing anyways

[brotherlysuggestion]

I don’t know which disabled person needs to hear this today, but all the writing advice you see about how portraying disability as a tragedy is disrespectful and bad? That’s not for you. That’s for people who don’t have your condition.

If you want to write about the struggles of being blind or deaf or autistic or a wheelchair user or whatever, you are allowed to. You can make it sad, you have every right. That is absolutely your story to write if you so choose.

#disability #ableism

[brotherlysuggestion]

There is a new Chrome extension that detects if a video you’re streaming has a strobe in it, will freeze the video and stick this warning up there until you approve it.

WHERE THE HELL HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE????

#mod static #epilepsy #seizure disorder #disability #resources #photosensitive epilepsy

[brotherlysuggestion]

Hey, this feels like a good time to remind everyone:

I’m trying very hard to recover from a restrictive ed! Please don’t reblog my content to blogs that are either pro-ed or have a lot of vent content about eds.

Unless your blog is 100% recovery content, and your url isn’t something like “skinny[xyz]” “[xyz]andbones” “calories[xyz]”, please just like… screenshot my posts and put them in a private discord server or your camera roll or something, if you need them to help you!

Sorry, I just… can’t do it. Not safely.

#mod static #Ed tw #weight tw #anorexia tw #eating breakfast today is going to be a struggle lmao #also as a sidenote I don’t want kink blogs interacting please #many of these posts I made as a minor #and many of them come from conversations I have with friends or family about their struggles and trauma #so I don’t… want something inspired by grief to be passed around kink circles

[brotherlysuggestion]

 “As a disabled person, you don’t have anyone to look to or learn from and no one hands you a book and says, ‘This is how you do things,’…You just have to figure things out and I worry that a lot of disabled people probably think they can’t cook"

#mod static #not mine #cooking #disability resources #disability #accessibility #independence #adult life

[brotherlysuggestion]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

#mod static #self care #self love #mental health

[brotherlysuggestion]

Hey i’m a fashion design student so i have tons and tons of pdfs and docs with basic sewing techniques, pattern how-tos, and resources for fabric and trims. I’ve compiled it all into a shareable folder for anyone who wants to look into sewing and making their own clothing. I’ll be adding to this folder whenever i come across new resources

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16uhmMb8kE4P_vOSycr6XSa9zpmDijZSd?usp=sharing

#mod static #not mine #sewing #sewing resource #independence #clothing resources