The Fall (2006) — reminding me I haven’t watched it in so long and am definitely due a rewatch, it’s so beautiful and I cry every time
36: Where I would like to live
6 year old me fell in love with New Zealand watching lord of the rings and 24 year old me would simply like to live in a pretty country that seems to have it together more than most
38: My childhood career choice
choice #1 was pokemon trainer, after that i constantly switched between actor and author
honestly i think boba/din is more my style but din/luke is infinitely funnier to me if you factor boba’s budding friendship with din into the equation. here’s this other mandalorian who, save the clones, is probably one of the only people out there who really Gets your complicated relationship to mandalorian culture. overall seems like a pretty decent dude, honorable and trustworthy and a dedicated father. and then you find out he’s given his son to the guy who kicked you into a sarlacc pit and is also dating him. fucking hilarious
okokok much to do today and i don’t think i’ll write anything again until next week maybe but in light of the Pain Chapter of meteor showers - if anyone wants to come chat or ask about the series or Poe and Hawk i’m here ✌🏻
me: i’m not gonna write today
me after receiving one (1) question about Jess/Snap hugs after hawk wakes up:
okay I’m still here to chat y’all get me through these last 2.5 hours of work 👀
What I wanna talk about after the Pain Train that was chapter x.... the first hug between Jess and Hawk after she wakes up.... OR even the first hug between Hawk and SNAP after she wakes up
i really couldn’t resist writing this up, huh. an addendum to part x of meteor showers
You may be awake, but that still doesn’t mean Poe is able to bring himself to leave your side. It’s Kes who fetches the doctor, who fetches Leia, who fetches Black Squadron.
Jess muscles through all of them, determined not to cry and trying to swallow through the tight throat threatening to give her away. She rounds the bed to the side previously occupied by Kes, and watches you for a moment - like she can’t believe you’re here. That you’re alright.
The smile you give her threatens to split your lip back open, but you can’t help it. She has a few scuffs herself, sporting a split eyebrow and a bruised temple. Poe had assured you she was fine, that she and Black Three were in one piece with only minor scrapes. Still, you worry.
You gesture up to her face, “You okay?”
Kriff, she could slap you. She doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry and she settles for wrapping her arms around you as much as the bed you’re in will allow, hiding her face in your shoulder.
Jess’ hugs are usually big and warm and enveloping, a result of her habit of flinging herself at people. So this - her tentativeness and weak hold - feels weird.
You’re still stiff, and it takes effort to bring your arms around her with your hands settling on her back. As soon as you get there you pull her into you, hugging as tightly as you can manage.
She laughs, “Careful. Don’t wanna break you all over again.”
“It’s not your fault.”
She falls quiet, a rarity for her, and nods before pulling back. She smacks a kiss to your brow, and plasters a grin on her face as Karé pipes up with a teasing, “Don’t keep her all to yourself, Jess.”
As soon as you raise your eyes to the rest of them, you’re reaching out for Snap. He looks like he could cry as he moves forward.
“You’d better not cry, Snap,” you tell him, “Or you’re gonna make me cry.”
“I’m not gonna cry,” he insists as you draw him into a hug, but you can feel him trying not to shake, “I’m just glad you’re alright.”
You’re as careful with him as he is with you; you know he’d never forgive himself if he ends up hurting you in any way. You bury your face in his shoulder as you sniff, tears springing to your eyes, “I told you you were gonna make me cry.”
He laughs, tears tracking down his cheeks as he closes his eyes, “I’m not crying.”
You know he’s lying without seeing him; you know Snap — he became like an older brother to you so soon after you first met, and you know he’s the biggest crier of the team.
You can’t help but hug him a little tighter, “I believe you.”
Karé almost feels bad for joking that he needs to let someone else have a turn. Almost.
okokok much to do today and i don’t think i’ll write anything again until next week maybe but in light of the Pain Chapter of meteor showers - if anyone wants to come chat or ask about the series or Poe and Hawk i’m here ✌🏻
me: i’m not gonna write today
me after receiving one (1) question about Jess/Snap hugs after hawk wakes up:
part of the meteor showers series, the rest found here
thank you so much to absolute gem @zoriis for being a fountain of knowledge and letting me pester them for help with Kes’ characterisation and history, and of course as always my love @yoditorian for the yelling, support, and literally the final sentence of this part — i bow to your angst-coded genius, where would i be without u
That’s all it takes from Leia to get Kes Dameron to his son’s side.
He’s met in the hangar by the entirety of Black Squadron, but it’s Snap he turns his attention to automatically, and while the Captain knows he isn’t telling him anything he hasn’t already heard from Command, he briefs him anyway. He focuses more on Poe than on you; on how he’s pretty sure the Commander hasn’t left your side once since you were brought back three days ago, how he’s barely touched the food he’s been brought. Kes doesn’t have the heart to ask any further about your condition. He can glean enough from Poe’s.
Leia is standing in front of him before any of them notice she’s arrived in the hangar, but little more than a nod from each of them is exchanged before he’s being led through to medical. It’s quiet, and tense. Poe’s relationship with his father is the best it’s ever been, but the sight of him will no doubt dredge up memories best left alone, especially at a time like this. The elder Dameron isn’t confident he’ll be the help Leia thinks he will be.
okokok much to do today and i don’t think i’ll write anything again until next week maybe but in light of the Pain Chapter of meteor showers - if anyone wants to come chat or ask about the series or Poe and Hawk i’m here ✌🏻
It's been several hours since I read the latest part of meteor showers and I'm still the living embodiment of this picture:
the angst....my god do you know how to deliver angst. This chapter was nothing short of heartrending, it was an absolute mother fuckin gut punch of feelings. Your Poe...my god....your Poe - *grabs pillow and starts screaming* - the way I could see him PERFECTLY in my mind, by Hawke's bedside, exhausted and Not Doing Great and tear stained like. Fuck. Fuck me. I'm not??? Okay???
And the Kes parts. I knew I was in for it when you asked me about him, I kNEW you'd knock it out of the park and I'd be left in a puddle of feelings but oh my word. Oh my word I love him so much and how you wrote him and how you approached his relationship with Poe, how painful this situation is for the both of them, not only because of the current circumstances but because of the memories that it brings up.
All of the Shara references utterly....completelydestroyed me. "So was mom" my heart SHATTERED, ellie. I'm still picking up the pieces.
And speaking of hearts, oh god the fact that she flatlined. The fact that she flatlined and HE WASN'T THERE, and how he's kicking himself for it my god.
And JESS?! BLAMING HERSELF??? AND EVERYONE REASSURING HER IT ISN'T HER FAULT,even Poe?? I sob I really do
Oh my god I'm so relieved Hawk woke up like. The moment between her and Kes was so soft, so good, and her thanking him for Poe [screams into my pillow]. The fact that both Dameron boys were there when she woke up excuse me there's a stick in my eye - and she asked if Jess was okay I'm not okay I'm f r a g i l e
AND SHE CARDED HER HAND THROUGH HIS CURLS TO WAKE HIM 😭😭😭 you know my 1 weakness is Poe Dameron's curls and just in this context the softness...the tenderness...the hurt comfort of it....hhhhhh I need a minute
aND THEN THE ENDING. THE ENDING. KES' LINE. ANOTHER GUT PUNCH. MY HEART WAS RIPPED STRAIGHT FROM MY CHEST. I am having several emotions - I'm actually??? Crying??? Just remembering what happened in this chapter - and they're all Meteor Showers related
tegaaaan oh my god
much to unpack here but 1) very glad to have caused the pain i hoped I would and 2) i’m so sorry
i really can’t thank you enough for your help with kes’ characterisation and his history with poe!! sorry to use it against you 👀
that last line really hits hard and you have @yoditorian to thank for that — i couldn’t for the life of me word it properly and liz saved me with that stellar line 🤌🏻
part of the meteor showers series, the rest found here
thank you so much to absolute gem @zoriis for being a fountain of knowledge and letting me pester them for help with Kes’ characterisation and history, and of course as always my love @yoditorian for the yelling, support, and literally the final sentence of this part — i bow to your angst-coded genius, where would i be without u
That’s all it takes from Leia to get Kes Dameron to his son’s side.
He’s met in the hangar by the entirety of Black Squadron, but it’s Snap he turns his attention to automatically, and while the Captain knows he isn’t telling him anything he hasn’t already heard from Command, he briefs him anyway. He focuses more on Poe than on you; on how he’s pretty sure the Commander hasn’t left your side once since you were brought back three days ago, how he’s barely touched the food he’s been brought. Kes doesn’t have the heart to ask any further about your condition. He can glean enough from Poe’s.
Leia is standing in front of him before any of them notice she’s arrived in the hangar, but little more than a nod from each of them is exchanged before he’s being led through to medical. It’s quiet, and tense. Poe’s relationship with his father is the best it’s ever been, but the sight of him will no doubt dredge up memories best left alone, especially at a time like this. The elder Dameron isn’t confident he’ll be the help Leia thinks he will be.
i thought maybe i had exaggerated how much part x would hurt and then it wouldn’t live up to it but i’m glad to see the general reaction so far has been ‘ouch’
