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bruttal-scars · 2 months

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I'm jealous of the girl you will love.Because that would mean she is better than me.I'm jealous of the girl who will love you more than me.Because that would mean you deserve her and not me.I'm jealous and angry at the same time for wanting you too much but giving you away to the person who is more willing to dry your tears .I'm jealous of the way you'll hold her hands in yours and thinking how lucky you are to find her. I'm jealous of the way you'll sing to her the songs you sang for me.I'm jealous of her replying to your singing notes with her own cause you never got to hear me.I'm jealous of her power washing over you slowly and you already know that slow is sensual and filled with serenity.I'm jealous of her saying every word to you, without holding anything back,the only thing you ever wanted from me .I'm jealous of her admitting her love to you openly unlike me .I'm jealous of you waiting for her because that would mean she's worth it and not a coward like me, you'll decide it's fine that I'm gone,And when you'll think I'm gone for the good I'll not be jealous ,cause then there will be nothing but hollowness, and imprints of my question marks of what if?and what if.

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bruttal-scars · 3 months

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bruttal-scars · 3 months

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I want to scream louder, somewhere in the silence, where none has entered. I want each piece of my voice there to be uttered without any retaliation. I want to know all my unresolved answers!

~ a piece of writing from my 2021 journal

#books & libraries #writing my heart out #writing prompt #short poem #writing #literature #sylvia plath #hurkle durkle #brown aesthetic #2024 goals #what is love

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bruttal-scars · 3 months

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#dear diary #diary entry #my journal #literature #books & libraries #book excerpt #tumblr writing prompts #writing is hard #book quotes #slyvia plath #virgina woolf

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bruttal-scars · 3 months

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when kosinski wrote “i’m sure there are aspects of my personality buried within me that will surface as soon as i know i am completely loved.”

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bruttal-scars · 3 months

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Dear diary,

since I can't seem to find you and I don't know where you got lost in my home, next week I'm coming home and I'll search for you again. Be there wherever you are because there are so many things I have to tell you, and it's getting harder and harder with each passing day. I wedge in between my nerves, hiding them behind my plain mask. How long would I have to wait until I found you? Sometimes I want to spill words, and sometimes I want to spill my tea all over you, and this rage is dwindling, trying to fit into the narrow passage that has been left hollow for the past five years and telling me to do the latter. I feel like I've been holding my breath all these years, and now I can't seem to hold it anymore. The air wants to gush out so badly, and my heart has again started working on its own.

#dear diary #book excerpt #writing is hard #virginia woolf #slyvia plath #emily bronte #charlotte bronte #jane austen #emily henry #sally rooney #sarah j maas #classic literature #french literature #russian literature #anna karenina #leo tolstoy #writing my heart out #writing prompt #poems on tumblr

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bruttal-scars · 4 months

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But something is holding me back , and i know what it is and I hate it so much

baby i can help you blur the lines between platonic and romantic relationships sooo easily

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bruttal-scars · 4 months

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“the intimacy of smiling against each other’s lips.”

— Jay Vespertine

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bruttal-scars · 4 months

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— Mary Oliver

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bruttal-scars · 4 months

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Things I wanted to say: Yeah, I missed you too. I missed you like crazy. I missed you like you are the only one that has mattered to me in a long time. Yeah, you're the first man after all those breaking cycles of my contagious sadness. I wanted to ask you to stay for a while, to come where I live and hold me in your arms. I never called you by your name because it sounds weird, but every time you say something and your name appears on my tiny screen, my heart races. I wanted to say, Please don't go and don't stop talking to me; engage me in your silly little talks.but last night you sent me something that says "fill my holes", I've always adored you and had a huge respect for you till that moment. Why did you do this to me? I wanted to ask what you meant by that quote. Am i becoming an important person to you or you too like all other boys tricking me into something I've been running away from all these years. I know you were a man that I know but last night you acted like you are someone else that I don't know.it was like I'm meeting an entirely different person.

#sylvia plath #franz kafka #writer in the dark #writing my heart out #crying my eyes out #my heart is crying #elizabeth bennet #jane austen #jane eyre #emily bronte #charlotte bronte #gothic novel #gore lover #dear diary #self love #literature #books & libraries #book excerpt #tumblr writing prompts

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bruttal-scars · 4 months

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Something I'll never be able to say, like I'm scared of what if it wouldn't be you the one and what if I let you in my doors and instead of closing it and carrying your warmth inside, you leave it ajar. There are certain things I would like to say to you, "Yeah, I miss you" and "I care for you," but my heart is soaked in deep blue water. Even the feeling of uttering those words stirs the water in a whining manner, flopping over my heart, submerging it down. I'm scared of this feeling, the feeling of craving. I've never been craved by anyone. I've always craved someone. I don't want this for me this time, knowing well that he is such a soul to be craved. God has sent me a pure soul to connect with, an honest and real person, and I have no energy left in me to make that person stay with me. My heart has been drained out by the last person I allowed to open the doors to my heart, but instead of falling in love with the design, he has taken every ounce of trust and empathy from inside. I thought I'd healed enough. But when an angel appeared in the form of a man, I felt I still needed some healing time. I was not ready yet to develop a deep connection with a man on this earth. And if the universe has made a blessing on me, I hope it'll do it again, next time, when I'll be in a much better place than this.

But, I'm glad I met you. I'm glad for whatever time we had and we shared. I'm glad that I get to know a wonderful person like you does exist. I'm glad after going through the hardest battleship I finally crossed an ocean, landed on the bay and my eyes met with flowers you were holding for me. I'm glad I met you when my heart felt light, and I opened my doors not wide enough but as much as you can take a sneak peek inside. My mind hesitated at first but allowed me to trust this time, it has learned its lesson and told me to stay on the surface, just don't go in the abyss. I'm glad I met you , I'm glad for whatever time we had and we shared.

#sylvia plath #frank frazetta #virginia woolf #jane austen #emily bronte #jane eyre #literature #wuthering heights #bronte sisters #poetry #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #verses #my heart is crying #writing my heart out

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bruttal-scars · 5 months

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Marina Tsvetaeva, On Love

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bruttal-scars · 5 months

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Let me wrap my hands around you, let me hold you tonight, let me loose you on my shoulders, let me embrace your cold body in mine, let me take your head and put it under my chin, let me take your arms and encircle them my behind, let me touch your temples and press my lips, let me carry all the weight of emotions your heart is flooding with, let me submerge your painful thoughts by building a bridge between our minds, and let me make staircases down your heart and find a way to mine. Let me wrap my hands around you, let me hold you tonight. All you need to do is just sway along by my side.

#books & libraries #dark academia #literature #book excerpt #tumblr writing prompts #writing is hard #book quotes #book review #taylor evermore

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bruttal-scars · 5 months

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Let me tell you one thing: never get attached to that man, especially one who makes you feel special. The next day, he forgets about you, and on the third day, he comes and says I missed you. Never fall for this person. They don't just make you cry hard; they shoot a bullet through your heart that cracks a giant, gaping hole that'll take forever to fill.

#literature #books & libraries #dark academia #book excerpt #tumblr writing prompts #writing is hard #book quotes

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bruttal-scars · 5 months

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