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remus x shy!reader tag list:
@ames1stuff @thatdammchickennugget @ash-tarte @stunkbiggu @that-one-persons-posts @ahead-fullof-dreamss @lovelyygirl8 @remussbitch @lafrone @ayme301 @bitterspoons @liv2post @kerst666 @spidermansolosurfav @urlocallsimp @elowynev
remus x shy!reader (part 5)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; BARELY sexual content if you really squint; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
next and probably last part will be the other boys finding out !!!!! :)
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
---
remus felt like he was going to explode. if he didn't kiss you he was going to lose his mind. it all started the week after you had gone on that first date. sirius had made the comment about you snogging someone and then all of a sudden, all he could think about was your lips.
he had woken up from a very vivid dream about your lips and how soft they would be, a warm, fluttery feeling floating in his chest, heart beating wildly while your lips started moving down towards his chest. he could feel you light laugh giggling against his neck while you smiled, moving your way down. remus had woken with a start in the middle of the night, abruptly realizing that you kissing his neck wasn't real.
the next day in class, all he could think about was your lips, moving their way across his body mapping it. he also had to keep readjusting his pants at the thought of you and it only got worse when he had to look at you, eyes drawing towards your lips every time he looked at you.
not only did he struggle with this for a week, but it was also getting close to the full moon and remus was going to cry if he didn't get to kiss you and now, which led to now.
"hey rem!" you exclaimed, eyes brightening and smile getting bigger as you realized he was in the common room, curiously without the other boys. he loved the way you weren't shy around him anymore. the unguarded way that you let your smile shine when talking to him.
"hi bun." he said back, arms wrapping around you as you immediately wrapped yourself around him. you sighed into his touch. nothing compared to being wrapped in your favorite person's embrace. hugs were always welcome with you and your friends, but there's something about remus' hugs that made you all warm inside, melting all your insecurities away and replacing them with warm confidence.
"love, can we talk?" your heart immediately drops at his words, anxiety creeping up into your throat.
"yeah? whats wrong rem?" you ask, pulling away from him slightly to look up into his face.
"nothings wrong love. i just... can't do it anymore." your heart is increasing at this point, thinking he's going to tell you that he's in love with someone. of course he is, why wouldn't he be in love with someone, he's one of the best men you've ever met. or he's uncomfortable with how touchy you are with him. you immediately start panicking.
"what do you mean?" remus can see the panic swirling in your face and how your face has significantly drained of color.
"no, no, bun. i just can't stop pretending i don't have feelings for you. i'm tired of not telling you how beautiful you are, how i want to tell everyone you're mine, and how i just so desperately want to kiss you." remus rushes out, making sure that you don't think he is trying to get rid of you, if anything he just wants more of you.
you stare at his eyes, brain trying to process the information that just came into your ears. you felt your heart beating extra hard, the words you had always dreamed of hearing coming out of remus' mouth not registering in your brain.
"what?" you asked.
"i like you, bun. and if you don't feel the same, we can just move on, but if you do, please let me kiss you." you can hear yourself audibly swallow.
"but rem. i don't... i've never kissed anyone. what if i don't it right?" you whisper, cringing at how pathetic it sounds coming out. remus' eyes widen and a small smirk lifts his lips.
"bun, you couldn't be anymore perfect if you tried. kissing will come naturally to you. plus a little practice has never hurt anyone." he smirks, his eyes looking between yours and going down to your lips. you smiled at his response and tilted your face up towards his. his met yours eagerly and gently, causing your knees to weaken. his big hands came up to your face and cupped your cheeks and after a minute of savoring the moment, he pulled away and your eyes opened to see his gleaming back at you.
"you are the sweetest thing in my life, bun." all you could do was grin back, heat creeping up to your face.
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remus x shy!reader (part 5)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; BARELY sexual content if you really squint; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
next and probably last part will be the other boys finding out !!!!! :)
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
---
remus felt like he was going to explode. if he didn't kiss you he was going to lose his mind. it all started the week after you had gone on that first date. sirius had made the comment about you snogging someone and then all of a sudden, all he could think about was your lips.
he had woken up from a very vivid dream about your lips and how soft they would be, a warm, fluttery feeling floating in his chest, heart beating wildly while your lips started moving down towards his chest. he could feel you light laugh giggling against his neck while you smiled, moving your way down. remus had woken with a start in the middle of the night, abruptly realizing that you kissing his neck wasn't real.
the next day in class, all he could think about was your lips, moving their way across his body mapping it. he also had to keep readjusting his pants at the thought of you and it only got worse when he had to look at you, eyes drawing towards your lips every time he looked at you.
not only did he struggle with this for a week, but it was also getting close to the full moon and remus was going to cry if he didn't get to kiss you and now, which led to now.
"hey rem!" you exclaimed, eyes brightening and smile getting bigger as you realized he was in the common room, curiously without the other boys. he loved the way you weren't shy around him anymore. the unguarded way that you let your smile shine when talking to him.
"hi bun." he said back, arms wrapping around you as you immediately wrapped yourself around him. you sighed into his touch. nothing compared to being wrapped in your favorite person's embrace. hugs were always welcome with you and your friends, but there's something about remus' hugs that made you all warm inside, melting all your insecurities away and replacing them with warm confidence.
"love, can we talk?" your heart immediately drops at his words, anxiety creeping up into your throat.
"yeah? whats wrong rem?" you ask, pulling away from him slightly to look up into his face.
"nothings wrong love. i just... can't do it anymore." your heart is increasing at this point, thinking he's going to tell you that he's in love with someone. of course he is, why wouldn't he be in love with someone, he's one of the best men you've ever met. or he's uncomfortable with how touchy you are with him. you immediately start panicking.
"what do you mean?" remus can see the panic swirling in your face and how your face has significantly drained of color.
"no, no, bun. i just can't stop pretending i don't have feelings for you. i'm tired of not telling you how beautiful you are, how i want to tell everyone you're mine, and how i just so desperately want to kiss you." remus rushes out, making sure that you don't think he is trying to get rid of you, if anything he just wants more of you.
you stare at his eyes, brain trying to process the information that just came into your ears. you felt your heart beating extra hard, the words you had always dreamed of hearing coming out of remus' mouth not registering in your brain.
"what?" you asked.
"i like you, bun. and if you don't feel the same, we can just move on, but if you do, please let me kiss you." you can hear yourself audibly swallow.
"but rem. i don't... i've never kissed anyone. what if i don't it right?" you whisper, cringing at how pathetic it sounds coming out. remus' eyes widen and a small smirk lifts his lips.
"bun, you couldn't be anymore perfect if you tried. kissing will come naturally to you. plus a little practice has never hurt anyone." he smirks, his eyes looking between yours and going down to your lips. you smiled at his response and tilted your face up towards his. his met yours eagerly and gently, causing your knees to weaken. his big hands came up to your face and cupped your cheeks and after a minute of savoring the moment, he pulled away and your eyes opened to see his gleaming back at you.
"you are the sweetest thing in my life, bun." all you could do was grin back, heat creeping up to your face.
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remus x shy!reader taglist:
@ames1stuff @thatdammchickennugget @ash-tarte @stunkbiggu @that-one-persons-posts @ahead-fullof-dreamss @lovelyygirl8 @remussbitch @lafrone @ayme301 @bitterspoons @liv2post @kerst666 @spidermansolosurfav @urlocallsimp @elowynev
remus x shy!reader (part 4)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; angst for remus lol; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
done with finals!! now battling the want to only read fics and not write, let me know if you want a confession from rem!!
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 3
---
it was the day of the date and remus had been up since 4 am. he couldn't stop thinking about your date. however bad he hoped it would go, he didn't want your first date experience to be horrible. he wanted you to be treated how you deserve and to have a lovely time while also never ever wanting to see the fool again. and that is why he had woken up at 4 in the morning and couldn't stop the fight in his mind.
it was 11:30am and he was laying on the couch in the common room, one foot on the ground tapping constantly. the boys had decided to stay in this morning because james was worried they'd run into you and that sirius would end up embarrassing you and ruin your date.
"moony, if you don't stop tapping your foot, i'm going to lose my mind." sirius grunted, head in his hands covering his ears from the tapping noise.
"she should be done with her date now, right? its been 2 hours. why isn't she back yet?" remus asked.
"relax you love sick dog. your precious wife will be returned soon." sirius replied dramatically, rolling his eyes at how abserd this whole situation was. "if you had only confessed your love for her when you had the chance, she wouldn't be snogging another fella while you fumed the whole time." he added. remus shot upright on the couch with a wide eyed expression and a look of dread covering his features.
"here she comes!" peter shouted, holding the marauder's map in his hands, walking into the common room where the other boys were. all of their heads turned towards the portrait hole where it swung open and you stepped through.
you were excited to tell the boys all about it, but you weren't quite expecting them to all be staring at you when you got back.
"well, hi." you said, cheeks flushing more than they already were, glancing towards the floor to not meet their eyes. you sat down on the couch next to remus like normal, not sensing the tension in his body, only feeling their eyes on you.
"WELL??? i need all the details. spill your guts flea!" sirius cried across from you.
"it was okay! it wasn't bad! but it also wasn't great. like it was pleasant but it wasn't anything to write home about. is that good? like are you supposed to know if you want to marry him already?" you rambled, entire face flushing and not meeting their eyes.
"aw, hoppers. i'm sorry it didn't go well." james consoled you.
"what do you mean?" you asked, confused why he sounded sad for you.
"well, it didn't sound like there was any chemistry, that's important if you're gonna date someone." james explained.
"flea, i know it's your first date ever, but even i thought you'd know that." sirius shrugged. at the mention of it being your first date, you tensed and shot a look a remus, hurt that he spilled a secret to the boys. remus met your gaze with a look of panic.
"that wasn't me! i swear it! i didn't tell them!" he yelled.
"oh he didn't tell us, but the way you were acting before was kind of obvious and the fact that remus would've known that you were dating someone before you were part of our group and you certainly haven't since we've been friends because of remus' behavior." sirius explained, you relaxed and reached to touch remus' leg.
"sorry for thinking that you told them when you didn't ." you apologized and remus nodded back.
"its fine bun, i'm not hurt." he said, covering your hand with his.
"so hoppers, did you snog him?" sirius asked crudely. your cheeks flushed bright red.
"that is none of your business sirius! and a lady never kisses and tells!" you exclaim, avoiding all their eyes. "i told him that it would be best if we were friends, and he agreed. i don't think dating is for me, i just got so anxious before! and the thought of having to go on another date, just makes me nauseous." you say, leaning onto remus' shoulder and resting your head.
"thats okay, bun. you don't have to date if you don't want to." remus patted your thigh, his heart soaring that he won't have to go through this again. he knew he'd have to tell you that he liked you soon, the thought of you with someone else almost killed him.
"thanks rem." you mumbled back, sinking deeper into his side.
sirius observes this going on, looking to james and mouthing, 'are they fucking idiots??'
james simply rolled his eyes in response.
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remus x shy!reader (part 4)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; angst for remus lol; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
done with finals!! now battling the want to only read fics and not write, let me know if you want a confession from rem!!
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5
---
it was the day of the date and remus had been up since 4 am. he couldn't stop thinking about your date. however bad he hoped it would go, he didn't want your first date experience to be horrible. he wanted you to be treated how you deserve and to have a lovely time while also never ever wanting to see the fool again. and that is why he had woken up at 4 in the morning and couldn't stop the fight in his mind.
it was 11:30am and he was laying on the couch in the common room, one foot on the ground tapping constantly. the boys had decided to stay in this morning because james was worried they'd run into you and that sirius would end up embarrassing you and ruin your date.
"moony, if you don't stop tapping your foot, i'm going to lose my mind." sirius grunted, head in his hands covering his ears from the tapping noise.
"she should be done with her date now, right? its been 2 hours. why isn't she back yet?" remus asked.
"relax you love sick dog. your precious wife will be returned soon." sirius replied dramatically, rolling his eyes at how abserd this whole situation was. "if you had only confessed your love for her when you had the chance, she wouldn't be snogging another fella while you fumed the whole time." he added. remus shot upright on the couch with a wide eyed expression and a look of dread covering his features.
"here she comes!" peter shouted, holding the marauder's map in his hands, walking into the common room where the other boys were. all of their heads turned towards the portrait hole where it swung open and you stepped through.
you were excited to tell the boys all about it, but you weren't quite expecting them to all be staring at you when you got back.
"well, hi." you said, cheeks flushing more than they already were, glancing towards the floor to not meet their eyes. you sat down on the couch next to remus like normal, not sensing the tension in his body, only feeling their eyes on you.
"WELL??? i need all the details. spill your guts flea!" sirius cried across from you.
"it was okay! it wasn't bad! but it also wasn't great. like it was pleasant but it wasn't anything to write home about. is that good? like are you supposed to know if you want to marry him already?" you rambled, entire face flushing and not meeting their eyes.
"aw, hoppers. i'm sorry it didn't go well." james consoled you.
"what do you mean?" you asked, confused why he sounded sad for you.
"well, it didn't sound like there was any chemistry, that's important if you're gonna date someone." james explained.
"flea, i know it's your first date ever, but even i thought you'd know that." sirius shrugged. at the mention of it being your first date, you tensed and shot a look a remus, hurt that he spilled a secret to the boys. remus met your gaze with a look of panic.
"that wasn't me! i swear it! i didn't tell them!" he yelled.
"oh he didn't tell us, but the way you were acting before was kind of obvious and the fact that remus would've known that you were dating someone before you were part of our group and you certainly haven't since we've been friends because of remus' behavior." sirius explained, you relaxed and reached to touch remus' leg.
"sorry for thinking that you told them when you didn't ." you apologized and remus nodded back.
"its fine bun, i'm not hurt." he said, covering your hand with his.
"so hoppers, did you snog him?" sirius asked crudely. your cheeks flushed bright red.
"that is none of your business sirius! and a lady never kisses and tells!" you exclaim, avoiding all their eyes. "i told him that it would be best if we were friends, and he agreed. i don't think dating is for me, i just got so anxious before! and the thought of having to go on another date, just makes me nauseous." you say, leaning onto remus' shoulder and resting your head.
"thats okay, bun. you don't have to date if you don't want to." remus patted your thigh, his heart soaring that he won't have to go through this again. he knew he'd have to tell you that he liked you soon, the thought of you with someone else almost killed him.
"thanks rem." you mumbled back, sinking deeper into his side.
sirius observes this going on, looking to james and mouthing, 'are they fucking idiots??'
james simply rolled his eyes in response.
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I love your shy reader x remus lupin series! Its so sweet and soft, part two was definitely my favorite!! 😍
thank you so much!!! <3
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remus x shy!reader (part 3)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
my masterplan of slowburn is coming together, but its finals so this will take me while <3
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5
---
the first time he realizes that you aren't officially his
remus and you were extremely close. to point that the boys just assumed you two would get married. it was just an unspoken agreement that you were remus' and remus was yours. remus would always be touching you, and it got even worse over the full moon so why wouldn't you be dating?
however, it all changed when another hufflepuff didn't catch that drift. you were all sitting in potions, you and james at a table and remus and sirius at the one behind you two. you weren't fully paying attention, when jordan, another hufflepuff in your year, came up to talk you.
he was obviously very interested in you. to the point where he was stumbling over his words and making you feel bad for him. you reached out your hand to him to comfort him as he stumbled over trying to ask you a question.
"jordan, slow down, what is it that you were wondering?" you ask, empathetically, giving him a soft smile.
"i- was just wondering if you'd go to hogsmeade with me this weekend." your face instantly heats, you nodded your head and responded with a small sure. "great. meet in the common room at 9:30?" you nodded your head and gave him a small smile.
the boys, watching this whole thing happen, were aghast. what do you mean our y/n is going on a date with a random boy. peter was shocked it took someone so long to ask you out. james was most horrified at what will be remus' reaction. sirius was most impressed that you accepted. remus had no reaction. his first thought was you were taken so it was funny jordan was even trying because they are dating and then he quickly realized his mistake. they weren't dating. they just... were.
once back in the gryffindor common room, it was awkward and the tension was so thick, sirius thought he was going to choke on it. "what the hell y/n"
"huh? what do you mean?" you asked, confused why he was upset with you.
"you have a date! can we come? are you just going to ditch us on a perfectly good saturday to go make out with a guy you don't know. you could barley even speak to us when we first met, how are you supposed to snog a rando?" sirius asked you, you instantly curling in on yourself. you wouldn't lie, you were also wondering some of those questions.
"she's allowed to hang out with other people besides us, sirius. and i'm sure she'll be just fine on a date. she'll snog the best she's ever had." james said, sitting next to you and patting you on the back.
remus was still focused on the snog part of conversation. you wouldn't snog him would you? how was he supposed to just be okay with this happening? he didn't want to make you feel bad or make it seem horrible that you were asked out, he just felt so shitty for not asking you out yet.
"no you can't come! that defeats the whole purpose of a DATE you idiot!" you yelled at sirius, exasperated, cheeks flushing red.
"but we could watch from a distance!" sirius yelled back at you.
"sirius. she's right. we can't go with her, that's the whole point of a date. she gets to go with him by herself. it'd be weird if we were just sitting at the next table over." remus said, putting a reassuring hand on your back, supporting you.
"remus! a word??" sirius aggressively stage whispered to him.
sirius quickly dragged remus to the boys hall around the corner and once stoped, hit remus in the chest.
"what is wrong with you? are you out of your everloving mind? your wife is going on a date with another man and all you have to say is that we can't go with her? you're supposed to pull the broody protective card you idiot."
"i'm sorry my WHAT?" remus sputters.
"your wife, your buns or whatever the fuck you call her. the girl that you are desperately in love with!!!!" sirius whispers yells at him.
"i'm walking away right now." remus replies, walking back into the common room that the rest of the group is in.
after a while of yelling and chaos and a few minutes of work, remus and you were left to yourselves for a few minutes.
"hey rem?" you ask from the other end the couch, back against the arm rest, your toes tucked under the side of his thighs. he looks up in response, pushing his glasses up to see your face clearer. "what does one do on a date? like should i prepare questions just in case or will he have questions prepared?" you ask, cheeks flushing, voice small, knowing you would only be able to ask him without dying from embarrassment.
"love, you don't have to prepare questions." he answered, no hint of condescending tones in his voice. "it should just flow pretty naturally. you just get to know each other. no big deal." he responds, rubbing your shins while he talks. you nod.
"but what if we run out things to talk about? like what if the only thing we have in common is being a hufflepuff? then what? and what if he tries to kiss me? i don't even know him! oh my god i should just stay home." you wilt into your hands.
"bun. you will be great. if he doesn't know how to keep the conversation going then thats his fault. you are the easiest person to get along with so its not your fault at all. and if you don't want to kiss him then don't. you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." he says, bringing your chin up with his thumb and pointer. your eyes met his, and his heart cracked a little with the overwhelming love that surrounds you in his mind.
"can i tell you something? you have to promise to never tell the other boys. ever." he nodded settling his hand on your legs. "promise." you whispered.
"i promise, bun."
"i've never been on a date. and i've never kissed anyone. hence the panicking." you whispered.
"what? how?" remus asked, shocked.
"no ones ever liked me like that i guess." you shrugged, feeling a little awkward with the way he responded.
"no, bun. i didn't mean to ask it like that. you just are so sweet and lovely the boys have missed out. there is nothing wrong with having done neither of those things. i'm not accusing you of anything, i'm mad at the boys of hogwarts." he scoffed as he reassured you.
your lips tipped up into a smile and you giggled at his dramatics.
"do you think he'll think i'm weird that i've never done those things before?"
"no, bun. if he does, then thats his problem, not yours. he needs to get over himself." remus replied, getting irritated at the idea that someone would have a problem with you.
"i'm so nervous, i already feel like i'm gonna throw up." you said, leaning forward and resting your forehead on his shoulder.
"love, you will be great. and he's the luckiest man alive that he gets to take you out." and while all of this was true, all remus could think about is how he would do ungodly things to be the one taking you out. he might just have to fix this.
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remus x shy!reader (part 2)
i'm a whore for slow burns and so this little mini series will be a slow burn
author: sj
warnings: fluff, full moon possessiveness, slow burn, reader is described as having longish hair and uses she/her prounouns
part one / part three / part four / part five
masterlist
---
this was your first full moon around remus since discovering he was a werewolf. you weren't nervous, just relieved you finally knew what was going on.
remus was terrified. everyone knew he got a little snappier when it came close to the full moon. he got wound tighter and tighter until happened and the last thing he wanted to do was snap at you.
you were 3 days away from the moon and you just finished with classes, following the boys to their common room to study with remus like normal.
you collapsed on the couch and remus fell into the cushion next to you. you both worked silently together for a while until you found remus significantly closer to you than he was before, your thigh pressed to his.
you weren't bothered by this, but remus was slowly combusting silently. he just felt this unexplained need to be touching you at all times. it started this morning when you were in class with him. your slytherin desk partner had his arm touching yours while you were both taking notes and remus thought he was going to lose. it.
at lunch he made sure he was next to you and that helped his need to be touching you. he usually started to ache before the full moons, but it seemed when you were close that he suddenly forgot about the pain and was only thinking about you. hence why he was trying to get closer to you while in the common room.
you sighed and put your books on the floor. you yawned and you slouched into the couch. remus studied you and noticed the tension you were carrying.
"lay down, bun. close your eyes for a while." remus said, patting his thigh. you nod and lay down your head on his thigh, hair cascading into his lap. remus felt his nerves start to calm and gently started running your hair through his fingers. he delicately plucked at your hair and fiddled with it.
about an hour later, sirius got restless and groaned dramatically on the floor.
"ughhhhh. i'm so bored. wake flea up so she can sneak to the kitchens with me and charm the elves." he said, rolling towards remus. remus stiffened.
"no. let her sleep. she's stressed and is actually resting right now. and if you wake her up, i will wait till you fall asleep tonight and find an insect to crawl into your ear and eat the little brains you have left." he said, it coming out a little more aggressive than remus intended, but feeling extremely protective of you.
the next day, all remus could think about was you. it was a saturday so he didn't expect to see you unless you wanted to come to the common room. and low and behold, you came through the portrait hole and came over to the boys with a small smile.
almost reflexively, remus' hands flew up to grab you as you passed, pulling you down almost on top of him as you passed. you gasped and giggled as you fell onto the couch next to remus, extending them over remus' sideways. remus sighed and pulled you into a hug and mumbled into your hair about how much he missed you.
"ew." peter mumurs.
"i had a theory that you would get possessive near the full moon and this is only proving me right." james says. your cheeks flush red and remus pulls back to look you in the eye.
"i just missed my bun is all. doesn't mean i'm some possessive alpha male." remus scoffs, looking towards the boys.
"your bun?! she's all of ours mate. not like you're dating the girl." sirius says, trying to get under remus' skin. remus' hands tighten around you, sirius' words already making remus' hypothetical hackles rise. remus, not wanting to admit sirius is right, just puts his head back to your shoulder and whispers, 'my bun'.
thus how you found out that remus gets a little possessive close to the full moon.
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helloooo! id love if you could write a part 2 to your remus fic! it was so good😭🖤 or honestly anything remus x reader i’d love to see from u!
its currently in the works!! thank you for all the love and support <3 remus is currently my fixation so def more coming :)
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remus x shy!reader
author: sj
warnings: fluff; reader is in hufflepuff; not edited lol
let me know if you want a part 2 cause i love writing for remus rn
masterlist
part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5
---
you shared a lot of classes with the marauders. you weren’t even sure they knew your name. but even though you thought they didn’t know you, there was one marauder who always noticed you. remus could spot you in a crowd of one hundred. his eyes always searching for a yellow tie and your h/c hair. he thought you were so smart and always watched you take notes in every class admiring how focused you were on your studies. to be honest, that’s one of the reasons he always went to the library to study, he knew you’d be in there as well.
james had noticed this little thing remus had for you as early at 3rd year. he watched remus silently watch the hufflepuff girl with h/c hair. he didn’t try to intervene until they were older, still watching him pine over the same girl that had remus’ attention. he didn’t really know what to do so he told sirius and of course he knew exactly what to do.
you were sitting in potions after class had ended, classmates filtering out and gathering your things when someone came up to you and started talking to you. low and behold it was sirius.
“hey! i’m sirius” he said, shoving his hand towards you. you nodded, waking yourself out of shock that a marauder was introducing himself to you like they weren’t the talk of the school.
“y/n.” you replied, shaking his hand.
“great. my friend remus, you know remus right? tall, lanky, always holding a book, he’s sick and is always draining on and on about how smart you are so i thought i’d ask you for notes for him. id give him mine but i didn’t take any.” you cheeks turned red at the idea of them talking about you, much less remus thinking that you were smart.
“um. yeah. i can do that, let me copy them onto another piece of parchment and then you can take them to him.”
“perfect! come by the gryffindor common room anytime tonight and we’ll be there!”
when you finished up copying the notes that night, you stopped by the gryffindor common room to drop off the notes. you didn't have the password so knocking on the portrait would have to do. you stepped back and the door swung open to reveal sirius giving you and oddly big grin.
"come on in, love! so lovely of you to drop these notes off for poor remus." he ushered you inside and you stepped through looking around the room. you quickly found the rest of the marauders sitting by the fireplace, james, peter, and a tired looking remus. his eyes widened when you walked through the door, instantly shooting to james and peter and back to you.
"had a surprise for you remus. i know how much you love your notes, so i thought i'd ask for some from the master herself." sirius said, pushing you towards the group. your cheeks burned as you dug through your bag on you shoulder to find your copy of notes for him. you finally found them and took a few steps forward to remus who was sitting up straighter as you got closer.
"here you go. i just copied them from the notes that i took today. i hope they're good enough. i'm not sure what your normal style is that you're used to so i this helps." you said in a rush, looking down at your notes. you extended them towards the boy sitting by the fire. he reached for them.
"thank you so much y/n! you really didn't have to do this. did sirius make you any threats or force you do this?" he asked, lowering his voice slightly. you lightly laughed as a shocked sirius gasped and muttered some words you couldn't understand.
"no, no. i promise i did this of my own free will." you said, glancing up at his eyes. his smile reached his eyes once your eyes met and you instantly felt warm inside.
and so thats how your relationship started to form with the marauders. they soon started coming up to talk with you during classes and inviting you to sit with them at meals when they noticed you sitting by yourself.
your favorite though, was when you'd be in the library and remus would ask to sit at your table. he would work with you silently and you'd trade questions about homework back and forth, eventually even recommending books to each other.
you even got so close to them that the boys started including you in the teasing. one specific day, the boys found you and remus reading in the common room together. you were sitting on the ground in front of the coffee table and he was sitting behind you on the couch. the boys came in loud and instantly disrupted the calmness. sirius came bouding over to you and sat across the coffee table on the floor.
"i thought of one for you." he said, slapping his hands on the table. you jumped at the abrupt sound and leaned back on to remus' legs. the boys had been trying to figure out a good nickname for you so you could join their fun nicknames, but you weren't an anigmus like they were so there were lots of options but not of them really were fitting you quite right.
"what is it?" you asked, relaxing against remus' legs.
"flea. its perfect. you're small, quiet and annoying." you gasped and immediately sat up in protest.
"no! thats horrible i don't want to be called a flea, you git!" you exclaimed.
"but it just fits so well, flea. i can't deny how perfect it is for you." you started to protest, but a big hand stopped you. the hand, from remus, wrapped around your shoulder and guided you back to his legs, scooching you to between his legs and under him. his hands grabbed your shoulders and started to work there, massaging your tight shoulders.
"we're not calling her flea." remus insisted. you shivered and you hoped he thought it was from his hands and not his commanding voice. james then spoke up.
"what about hoppers?" you tilted your head and looked up at remus to hear his response, not protesting that one.
"she sure is as cute as a bunny and the size of one too. i vote yes." he said, looking down into your face. james nodded his head and sirius huffed.
"i still like flea better but hoppers will do when you don't annoy me, flea." sirius grumbled. you rolled your eyes and relaxed into remus' touch more, your eyes closing. unbeknownst to you, his small smile grew as he continued to massage your shoulders.
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Not Alone Part 3 (Joel Miller x Fem!Reader)
joel miller x fem!reader
when you find yourself completely alone, you might just have to look up to realize you aren't.
warnings: mentioned death of family members; injuries; soft!joel; typos lol
author: sj
materlist
part one / part two
---
The next few weeks went by, a routine forming. Ellie would come knock on your door for breakfast and dinner, chatting your ear off until you both made it to her and Joel's house for the meal. You adored her. She never ceased to make you smile and giggle. She reminded you of Luke, but not in a depressing way, in a joyful way.
This dinner was different though. Your wrist was almost completely better. You didn't need the sling any more and you were able to do most things with it, your strength almost fully back. You still went easy on it, but it was time to start pulling your weight again. So, after dinner, once Ellie went upstairs to her room to do homework, you collected the dishes and went to the sink to wash them.
Joel, got up immediately, collecting the dishes right out of your hands and situating himself in front of you at the sink so you couldn't wash them.
"Joel." You sighed.
"You're not fucking washing them." He grunted. There hasn't been many exchanges between the two of you with out Ellie, or even with her to be honest.
"Joel, my wrist is better now." You insisted.
"Okay. And? Does it look like I'm gonna let you wash 'em still?" He asked while continuing to wash the dishes. You sighed again. After a few minutes of silence and only hearing the water running, you spoke up.
"I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me these past few weeks. I owe you so much. I talked to Tommy and he got me some shifts that shouldn't be too hard of labor for the rest of the healing process so I won't need to mooch off of you guys any more." You said, sitting back down in the chair at his table. He shut off the water.
"You don't owe me anything. Ellie has enjoyed your company and that is payment enough." He said, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. You looked away from the forearm porn that was happening, knowing you would just stare. You had always been attracted to Joel, but it was getting to the point recently that you couldn't even look at him too long without blushing. Man. What you would do for a vibrator.
"I do owe you. You're providing for two and I only have myself to feed," your heart twisted at the reminder, "I'll give you some rations when I start earning them tomorrow, I promise."
"No. You won't. You'll keep them to yourself so you can eat properly." Joel huffed out, disgruntled by the thought of you thinking you owe him. In reality, he was more than happy to feed you. He actually got great joy from seeing you come in the house every night and routinely ask, 'what's for dinner' while sniffing the air with a big smile on your face.
When you left that night, you thanked him before walking across his back yard to yours and entering through the back. You knew you'd need a good sleep before your morning shift and tucked in early that night.
The next morning, Ellie got out of bed like normal and went downstairs to see Joel in the kitchen fixing breakfast. "I'll go grab Y/n." She said, pushing out the back door.
"Wait!" Joel grumbled. She paused at the door with an expectant look on her face. "She has a shift this morning at the stables. Tommy told me. Her wrist is doing a lot better and she won't be eating with us now." Unbeknownst to you, after you left, Joel went across the street to Tommy's and practically interrogated him about the jobs you were taking. If they were safe, what time, and if they were light on lifting.
Tommy just smirked and told him the information with a knowing smile on his face. He told him that you were going to be working in the stables and on the janitorial staff at the school. Joel took a big breath of relief, knowing you'd be safe. Tommy still had that dumb, knowing smirk and Joel left muttering at him to 'shut the fuck up'.
A few days later, you had started making meals by yourself again. You weren't quite sure why, but every meal came with dread knowing you'd be eating alone. You didn't want to think that you were attached to Joel and Ellie, but after such a big loss as your brother, you knew that you probably attached to them a little soon. You still saw Ellie quite a bit, especially with working some shifts at the school. She would always make it a point to say hi to you in the halls and find you in the cafeteria for lunch instead of sitting with her peers when you were at the school.
You saw Joel every once in a while when you were working in the barns but there was never much chit chat between the two of you. You would just give him a smile and he would slightly tilt his lips up at you and give a nod.
This morning, you were working in the barns when Joel approached you. "Hi Joel!" You smiled brightly. How someone who is shoveling shit at 9 am could be this smiley, he would never know.
"Hey. I was just... um... wondering if you would want to come over for dinner tonight?" You smile widened and he got some more confidence. "Ellie misses you and we thought we would see if you'd wanna join us tonight?"
"I would love to. Its kind of depressing eating alone for every meal." You said, the truth cracking through your words like thin ice.
"Well, we'd love to have you. For as many meals as you would like. We really don't mind." Joel said, hoping that you'd hear the words trying to show through. He misses you in his house. Misses your smiles at the table and wants you stay in his house as long as you'd like. "You're not alone ya know. You've got us."
Dinner that night was different. He was more giving with his smiles. The hardness in is face was softening. It was like looking at the sun. He was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. Little did you know that Joel was thinking the exact same thing about you.
The next night, after your school shift. You were getting out of the shower and had just put on clothes to make dinner. Your back door opened and you turned, expecting to see Ellie, instead, seeing Joel. You gave him a smile, excited to see him in your place.
"Hi Joel."
"You leave doors open for people to walk in?" He grumbled. He walked towards you with his hands on his hips and that signature pinched eyebrows. You giggled.
"I don't normally, no. But I got into the habit of leaving it unlocked for Ellie. I don't want her to feel like she isn't welcome here. She always is." His pinched eyebrows pinched less and his shoulders relaxed a bit.
"Angel, thats sweet of ya, but you're gonna get killed." He said casually. Your heart had seemed to leap out of your throat and you wouldn't be surprised if it was beating on the floor at his feet. Your cheeks turned pink and you busied yourself around the kitchen doing absolutely nothing.
"Honey. come over. We miss you." Joel's voice seemed to have gotten more gravelly in point two seconds.
"I was just over last night Joel. I don't want to intrude and steal more of your food." You said glancing over your shoulder at him. In all honesty, you'd love to but you felt too guilty taking advantage of his hard work like that. He walked towards you and you turned around, hips resting on the counter behind you.
"You could steal all my damn food and I'd say thank you. It makes Ellie happy to have you round and it makes me feel like I'm fucking 16 again eating dinner with a pretty girl. Please. I miss you." Your jaw was on the ground. What was this alternate universe. You stepped towards him and into his arms, you head meeting his chest and wrapping him up in the biggest hug you could muster. He hugged you back, running his calloused hands over your shirt.
"What has gotten into you, you sappy man." You laughed.
"Tommy told me that some guy at the stables was flirtin with ya and that really got my ass in gear. Couldn't let you eat in someone else's house now could I?" He grinned over your head.
"I would love to come eat with you." You leaned back, looking into his eyes.
"Good. Cause theres a lot meals a head of us." He said, gaze flickering from your eyes to your mouth. His lips met yours in a soft but powerful kiss. Never did you think Joel Miller would be so gentle with you.
"Ew. Get your asses over here. I'm fucking starving." Ellie complained from your back door, hand dramatically covering her eyes. You and Joel both breathed a laugh, grabbed hands and headed over to their house.
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Not Alone Part 2 (Joel Miller x Fem!Reader)
joel miller x fem!reader
when you find yourself completely alone, you might just have to look up to realize you aren't.
warnings: mentioned death of family members; injuries; joel being mean (soft); probably typos lol
author: sj
masterlist
part one / part three
another part in the works :)
---
After your painful wonderful shower for the first time in forever, you found new clothes on the bed and went down to the kitchen to try to find something to eat. And as Maria promised, there was some food that looked like it would last you the day sitting on the counter. Your self control was ripped from you and you ended up eating the whole thing sitting on the floor.
Once the last bite of food was gone, it was then realized how utterly alone you were. You tried to take a deep breath, but couldn't seem to get your lungs to be able to work. You let yourself think about your brother for the first time. Luke wasn't supposed to go like that. Your baby brother. The only one you had left. You weren't a spring chicken any more, but you still felt like he was still a kid. You were five years older than him and he was your best friend. Not once, did you ever think he would leave your side. Much less, get bit. It all happened so fast. And all you could think about was having to shoot him with your last two bullets.
The tears streamed down your face and you got up and stumbled through the back door to get outside. The walls were closing in and you needed to get out. Ironic that the past few weeks, all you wanted was real shelter, and now that you had it, you couldn't stand it. You burst out of the back door and quickly stumble down the steps to the grass. The sobs racking your body as you mourn your life long best friend.
You don't know how long you laid there. All you know is that when the sun went down, your cheeks were dry and tight with the dried tears. You couldn't move but as you watched the sunset and the stars start to shine, you felt your lungs start to rise up and down again. You would be okay. You would have to be. You'd have to pull your weight. Even if it meant with a broken arm. It was okay that you were all alone. Others had done it, and if it was Luke, you would've wanted him to go on. He deserved to live a normal life and you would live it for him if you had to.
You sighed and rolled to your side to get up, freezing when you saw the little girl from next door sitting in a chair at the back of her house yards away from you. You mustered a smile, cheeks heating with the thought of her witnessing your grief. You waved and she waved you over. You swallowed your pride and slowly walked towards her and sat in the chair that she pointed to. What you didn't see was the man in the kitchen a few feet from the open back door that was one hundred percent eavesdropping.
"I don't think I've ever seen so many tears from one person." She said quietly, obviously trying to lighten the awkwardness.
"Well. I've been holding it in for a while, guess it was bound to come out at some point." You shrugged with one shoulder.
"What really happened to your arm?"
"Um... My brother broke it. He got infected and... yeah, just got broken in the struggle." You said, voice scratchy from your crying.
"Oh shit. Sorry. Thats... tough." Ellie said, earnestly trying to give you comfort. You nodded, grateful for her comfort, but not wanting to say it was okay, because truthfully, it wasn't.
"Ellie. Come eat." Joel yelled as he stuck his head out the back door. You jumped at the loud voice, his eyes latching onto the jumpy form.
"You can eat with us. Right Joel?" Ellie looked to Joel and she asked again, more forcefully this time. "Right Joel?"
"Yes." He said, softer, tone still hard as a rock.
"He's not as much of an asshole as he sounds. He just genuinely has an assholey voice." You smiled at her side comment to you and looked to Joel.
"If you're sure. I've already ran out of food. I won't each much I promise. Ate plenty for lunch, for the first time in... a long time." You said to him, getting up out of your chair and following Ellie into the kitchen.
Dinner went quietly, mostly filled with the sounds of silverware and Ellie asking you if you knew any puns. You quickly went home after dinner and Joel went to bed thinking about how your sobs sounded as you laid in the grass.
---
The next morning, Joel went to the stables to see if there was anything he could do around the barn. He wasn't scheduled for patrol until the next day, but needed something to do. He didn't like being home alone when Ellie was off at school learning god knows what. He knew he had to stay busy to keep his thoughts from spiraling.
As he walked into the stables and passed some of the stalls, he heard soft grunting. He slowed to a stop and peeked into the open stall the someone seemed to be in. Only to find you shoveling or attempting to shovel horse shit into a wheelbarrow. He watched as you tried to pick up the shovel that was loaded with one arm as you guided to help yourself pick it up with the arm that was not supposed to be in use. You grunted and then huffed out a frustrated sigh when it tipped and you dumped it, missing the wheelbarrow. The wheel barrowthat you wouldn't be able to carry with one arm. He wasn't quite sure why but it made him angry.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked sharply. He watched you jump and then sigh a small smile gracing your face as a greeting.
"Shoveling horse poop." You replied with a tired smile, immediately going back to trying to pick up the pile that you dumped.
"No shit sherlock." No pun intended. My god he was becoming Ellie. "I mean, why the hell are you shoveling with a broken arm? You're going to hurt yourself more." He said, walking in the stall and grabbing the shovel from your hands quickly.
"I'm trying to pull my weight. There weren't any shifts left any where and I have to get food some how. I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of starving." You said, the smile leaving your face, and being replaced by a frown, looking at the shovel in his hands. He sighed and brushed a hand down his face in what seemed like frustration.
"Look. I'll finish up for you and then we can go to the hall and grab you some breakfast, yeah? If Ellie hears that I didn't feed ya, she'll feed me my hands for dinner. And don't worry about this shit until you're better. You're not gonna get better if you don't rest it." He demanded, not looking at your face as he finished shoveling the horse feces in the stall. Your wrist giving a nice dull throb that sent you grabbing your sling from your bag and putting it back on.
You watched as he lifted up the wheelbarrow and drove it past you towards the pile, muttering to himself about how you 'couldn't even fucking lift it if ya tried'.
The next thing you knew, you were sitting in the hall with a meal in front of you, eating like you were starved. Cause you basically were. After this mornings out burst, he hadn't said much to you and had just watched you with his brown eyes studying you, creases deep on his face.
"Don't worry about meals until your wrist heals up. You come to us for it, yeah? Ellie likes you and she doesn't get many older women in her life." You nodded, a smile returning to your face. Joel's chest did that weird cracking and blew out a breath. He didn't think he had any room left in there and he had a bad feeling you were going to squeeze in any how.
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Not Alone (Joel Miller x Fem!Reader)
joel miller x fem!reader
when you find yourself completely alone, you might just have to look up to realize you aren't.
warnings: mentioned death of family members; injuries
author: sj
masterlist
part 2
---
You quite literally stumbled upon Jackson. You had been traveling with your younger brother and when he got bit it got ugly. You shot him but not before he some how broke your arm. You weren't bit but you sure did feel like your arm was falling off.
Even though it had been two days of travel since, you still hadn't quite processed the trauma. All you could focus on was that you now were unarmed (almost literally) without your gun that ran out of bullets, hadn't eaten since, and were in an extreme amount of pain.
You had just taken a stumble, head becoming dizzy from the lack of food that you had consumed when the Jackson patrol found you. You sobbed uncontrollably when you heard the horse hooves beating on the ground getting louder. You heard gun clicks.
"PLEASE!!!! I'm not infected!! I'm hurt!!" You looked up holding one arm up in the air. Your upper left arm felt like it was falling off and couldn't raise it.
"BOTH HANDS IN THE AIR!" A deep voice yelled.
"I can't. I think my arm is broken. I'm unarmed!! I have a gun but there's no bullets. You can take it if you don't believe me. I promise. I just need help." You pleaded. God you hoped these people were sane and didn't eat each other.
The next thing you knew, you were being helped onto a horse after being sniffed by a dog and led into town. You were instantly taken into a building and were seen by a doctor.
"Looks pretty broken to me. The lower part towards your wrist is definitely broken, but it looks like you muscles have been compensating for your wrist too much and thats why the pain is all the way up to your shoulder." You thanked the doctor and they wrapped your wrist and got you a make shift sling to rest your arm in.
The lady that escorted you to the doctor, Maria, led you out.
"We have a small house that is across the street from ours that isn't occupied yet. Dusty and untouched, but empty. I can bring over some clothes and lunch for you. I'll give you a small tour and then show you to your house.
And show you she did. This was amazing. You never realized how much you missed order until you were in it. And the stables and animals were amazing. The tour ended by knocking on a large house that was quite truthfully, gorgeous. She pointed across the street, "That's Tommy and I's house. Yours is next door to this one. I just want to introduce you to your neighbors real quick. This is Tommy's brother."
The door finally opened to reveal a young girl, probably an early teenager standing before you with a pony tail.
"Ellie. This is Y/n, your new neighbor. She just arrived today. I want to make sure she is well taken care of. Can you do that?" Maria asked, Ellie glancing to you. You smiled at her obvious trust of Maria. She then nodded.
"Yeah. Of course I fucking can. Whats with the sling?" She asked.
"I broke it." You replied with smile at the course language that casually slipped out of her mouth. You would've gotten reamed by your parents if you were her age.
"Where's Joel?" Maria asked Ellie. Instead of replying, Ellie instead screamed his name.
"What the fuck Ellie? I told you not to answer the door to strangers." A tall man with salt and pepper curls stomped down the stairs and came up behind Ellie. Ahh thats where the language came from.
"Maria isn't a stranger. And if I didn't answer the door, you'd never fucking hear any one knocking." Joel rolled his eyes, a quiet curse slipping from his lips under his breath. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes landed on you. You crinkled your eyes at Ellie, enjoying watching their interaction and how comfortable they seemed together. The bickering well coated in love and playfulness. You heart gave a little ache.
"Joel. This is Y/n."
"You just came in today didn't you?" He asked, remembering how you pleaded for help with tears streaming down your face. He swear he felt his heart crack a little with how much pain you seemed to be in and here you were smiling in front of him like you just won the lottery.
"Yeah. Nice to officially meet you. Both of you." You smiled, nodding at him and then nodding at Ellie. He watched your bright, but tired eyes glance between him and Ellie in front of you.
"I just wanted you to know, she'll be living next to you and wanted to make sure you'll keep an eye out for her." Maria looked at Joel with an extra piercing stare and he nodded. She cocked an eyebrow and he nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. We'll keep an eye out." He agreed.
"Good. Let's go and get you settled. I'll grab you some food that should last you the day too." Maria walked you down the steps and he noticed the shaky way you grabbed for the railing and you gently went down the steps.
He knew you came in alone, but wondered if you were completely alone. He knew the feeling and didn't like that you probably did too.
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Reach Out a Hand Part 2 (Azriel x Fem!reader)
azriel x reader
azriel reaching out a hand... literally
warnings: nothing really
author: sj
materlist
part one
---
You walked into the private library after you had finished dinner as you normally did and sat down in the comfortable chair you usually occupied. Reaching for the book you left out yesterday on the end table next to the chair, you hand met a small, folded piece of paper instead. You grabbed it and opened it, revealing a beautiful scripted sentence, that left you wondering.
Meet me in the ring in 15.
You weren't quite sure who had left the note, wondering if maybe it was Cassian who had left it after you rushing out of training earlier this week. He had told you he wanted to meet up privately for a lesson. You prayed to the Cauldron it wasn't him. You shoved your feet back into your slippers and started the trek to the ring.
---
Azriel had been waiting up there for 30 minutes. Granted, he knew you would go the library around 8:30 and would come up around 8:45 if you looked for a book before you sat down, but he still waited up by the ring in anticipation just in case.
And there you were, 8:45, just on time. He watched your eyes hesitantly meet his and then move back down to the ground, as you walked closer to him. His shadows swirled around his wrist in anticipation.
"Hi." You said, glancing up to his eyes. His head nodded in greeting as you shuffled in front of him. "Did you need me for something?" Azriel's mind paused, this was probably the first long conversation he has had with you since you moved in.
"Wanted you to train with me." He calmly said.
"Oh... um, thats not really my thing. I'm sure if you asked Nesta, she would train with you." You rambled, pushing your hair behind your ear like a nervous habit.
"No. I wanted to... to train with you." He stopped himself from stuttering. Why in the Cauldron's name was he stuttering? "We don't have to do anything you don't want to. Maybe work on breathing and balance for a while?" He suggested.
"Just us?" You asked.
"Yeah. If thats okay with you." He said.
"Okay, training. As long as its just you."
"It'll just be me. I promise." He reached out his hand for you to take. You glanced up into his eyes and you could almost see the hope in his eyes. You nodded and gently took his hand, walking into what you didn't know was your forever.
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Reach Out a Hand (Azriel x Fem!reader)
azriel x reader
how azriel reaches out to you in the midst of your insecurity to find you where you are
warnings: adoption, insecurity talk
author: sj
masterlist
part two
an: part two will be coming sometime soon! enjoy!
---
Moving to the House with Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel had it perks, but it also had its drawbacks. You were new Fae. Made also by the Cauldron with Nesta and Elain but weren't adjusting as well as they were. You had always been an awkward girl from when you were little, but when you were Made, it definitely didn't get better. Although now technically more graceful, you didn't feel like it. You were short for being a Fae and you still hadn't gotten used to how your body worked with the whole not human thing anymore.
Being with the others felt great, comfortable even. The only person that kept their distance from you was Azriel, but he was like that with mostly everyone besides the Inner Circle. You thought he would just have to get more comfortable with you being around and that was totally okay with you. When you would eat with them, he wouldn't say much, sometimes grunting in response or his lips tilting up to respond to something being said at the table. But every once in a while, you would meet his eyes across the table, his hazel eyes burning into with a sense of curiosity to them.
No matter where you were and when you interacted, you would always find him distantly watching you from the doorway, corner, or where ever he had a good vantage point. You always met his eyes though, making sure to give him a small smile, letting him know that you aren't trying to be deceptive and won't hurt his friends.
---
It was a morning at breakfast that set in motion things that would shift your entire world. You were sitting with the other three residents of the house just like you had for the last few months. It was quite as normal, until Nesta broke the silence.
"Y/n, you should join us for training. The priestesses have started to come and I think you'd find it fun." She gave you a tight lipped smile as she stirred her oatmeal, glancing up at you.
"Oh, um..." You had been invited to train before, earlier, when it was just Nesta. Cassian had gracefully told you, that you might want to sit training out unless you wanted a private lesson because your, skills, shall we call them were... awkward. You were the opposite of graceful. The training had caused you a lot of shame and caused you to retract into yourself for a while, insecurities overwhelming you for a while. But Nesta had reached out a hand to you. And that was progress. So you decided to take it, even though you really didn't want to train. "Sure. Is it right after this?"
"Yes! You're going to love all the women there, you'd get a long great!"
You smiled back brightly at her and desperately hoped it was worth it.
---
You then found yourself at training. Watching women all around you jab wooden swords back and forth to each other. Seeming to have a purpose in every move. As you looked around you, you could feel your cheeks turning red, your head filling with noise as the overwhelming sense of not belonging crashed over you. You felt like you had been transported back to your human body, feeling severely inferior to all the women standing around you demonstrating their power. As you took it all in, you failed to notice the Shadowsinger in the corner of the ring, staring at you with curious eyes. Noticing how your face flushed and your eyes darted around. How your breathing slightly picked up and how your hands instinctively found each other and started picking at the skin by your nails, drawing blood.
"Y/n! Good of you to join us! Wanna grab a sword? I can teach you the basics before we begin. We can maybe get together later and start from the beginning." Cassian offered with a gentle smile, doing his best to make you comfortable.
"Oh, no. I'm good. I think I'll watch." You dismissed, taking a step back and sitting on one of the many benches on the side.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm sure." You nodded, trying to come off as cool as possible for him not to notice you slowly starting to panic. You felt like everyone was watching you. Like they could all feel what was different about you. You weren't like them. They were built to be strong and powerful and you had never felt like that in your life. As the lesson started in front of you, your ears started ringing and you started to zone out, only thinking about how to get out of the space. You needed an out, you needed to breath somewhere safe.
You suddenly stood and forced yourself to walk as calmly as possible to the exit, trying desperately not to draw attention to yourself. As you hit the door, you realized you had bumped into something, more like someone. You murmured your apology and continued to fast walk stiffly out of sight.
---
Azriel had watched you rush out of training, in fact, he was the one you bumped into on the way out. He didn't understand what the reason was for your panic attack in training. But he sure was going to find out.
He approached Cassian later that day and asked if he knew why you panicked and left.
"I'm afraid that would be my fault." He winced. "The first few times she had trained with Nesta and I, I was still up tight about Nesta not fully cooperating and so I didn't really give her what she needed to suceed. I may have also discouraged her from coming back." Cassian admitted. Azriel had to refrain from letting out a low growl.
"What do you mean discouraged her from coming back?"
"I got frustrated and didn't mean for it to come out like this, but I told her that she lacked the grace of a warrior and maybe should try a different hobby. I should never have said it and I already apologized for it, I just feel awful about it." Cassian shook his head with shame.
Azriel gave him a few choice words and decided to gather a little more information about her before he tried to fix the situation. So he went to Feyre and told her of the situation and asked if she knew what was bothering her.
"Y/n was always different than us. Physically. She was a lot shorter and awkward. When she was small, we took her in off the street where she was left and so I think it was always a place for insecurity for her that deep down she knew she wasn't were she belonged.. She was mostly overlooked in our family and was never very... graceful. She would often trip and bump into things. I once tried to teach her to hunt and I think she scared off every living thing in proximity for the next few days. She felt so guilty it was hard to get her to talk for the next few days. I think she was just reminded of how she felt as a human and it sent her back into that head space." Feyre explained.
Azriel nodded and thanked her before he left to go back to the House, getting a plan together to build your confidence. He wasn't quite sure why he felt the need to make it right, but he was willing to do anything for you and so he would.
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When He Knew Part 2 (Azriel x Fem!reader)
azriel x reader
a little blurb about how you found out that azriel was your mate :)
warnings: i don't think anything?
author: sj
part one
masterlist
---
It took you a little longer to realize that Azriel was your mate. After he helped you to the dining room that one time when the pain from your wings, he seemed to be around you a lot more often. You noticed he joined meals a lot more and even sometime was in the library before you were. Even though you never had seen him in there before, you never thought much about it, just assuming he was interested in books.
That, however, couldn't be farther from the truth. Azriel had trouble sitting down to read. He didn't like the idleness of sitting somewhere and traveling into a world full of battles that didn't exist or a mindless world without magic. But he did like how you looked when you read books. It looked like everything had faded around you and all of your attention went to the words in front of you.
You had really started to enjoy the Shadowsinger's company, including what you liked to call, his little friends, his shadows. Sometimes in the library, a few would venture over to you and wind themselves around your wrists, occasionally settling on the pages of your books, vying for your attention. You got incredibly comfortable with the Illyrian being around you, occasionally talking about your pasts, even confiding in him about what happened to your wings and all the gory details. Something you had never told anyone, only ever allowing Rhys to watch the memory from the depths of your mind.
Azriel was honored to have been trusted with this painful memory, knowing that it must have been hard for you to talk about. He even confided some things in you, finding you one of the easiest people to talk to. He had never experienced that before you came along.
When you woke this particular morning, you had went down to breakfast as usual where Cassian, Nesta, and Azriel usually sat, already starting their morning a few minutes before you joined them. However, as you walked into the kitchen, you realized a certain male with shadows was missing. You continued on and sat down with the other two, noticing the silence that beheld them. Usually you could easily pick a conversation with any of the three and were the one to carry the conversation in the morning, but this morning felt different.
"Where's Azriel?" You asked curiously.
"He's out on a mission for Rhys. He should be gone this week." Cassian said casually, stirring his porridge in his bowl. You instantly deflated. You wondered why Azriel didn't mention that he was leaving or didn't say goodbye to you. Had you done something to make him mad before he left? No, you were sure he just went on this mission at the last minute and was rushed. You could survive the week without him... Right?
You quickly found out that week that you had become quite comfortable with the routine that you and Azriel had down and missed him a whole lot. Who else were you supposed to read with in the library? Who was going to give you potions when your wings started to ache? You missed him a whole lot.
A few days later, as you were sitting in the kitchen by yourself, eating a snack that the House had so graciously provided, you looked up to find the Shadowsinger standing in the doorway in is leathers. The fork in your hand dropped as you ran to him, reaching to his tall shoulders and slinging yourself onto his frame in a hug. He let out a breath as he took in your familiar scent, his shadows whispering mate like a song. As you relished in the fact he was back, you felt a tugging at your chest and let go of him while he stared back at you, a real smile plastered on his face. You watched his eyes read yours as he felt the bond complete itself as you realized in front of him that he was your mate.
Your smile grew wider as you leaned up to his face and hesitantly laid a kiss on his lips. He gently kissed back, watching your face glow as you went back in for another and that is when you knew.
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When He Knew (Azriel x Fem!Reader)
azriel x fem!reader
a little blurb about how azriel knew that he was your mate :)
warnings: she/her prounouns; mention of getting your wings clipped and trauma with that; unedited writing lol
author: sj
masterlist
part two
---
Moving into the House with Cassian, Azriel, and Nesta was odd to say the least. Nesta had been sent there to be trained by Cassian and to work in the library, but you had been sent there to be the back of chaperone.
You were knew to the group and mostly had become friends with the girls in the group. After growing up in the Illyrian mountains and getting your wings clipped you were uneasy around males to say the least. You were initially rescued by Emerie, getting taken in by her and eventually Rhys when he learned of your situation.
A few months later you found yourself living with the Inner Circle, helping plan and strategize but mostly being the impartial 3rd party that acted as a mediator for the group. Hence why you were at the House now.
Nesta had been a good friend to you, especially since Emerie had talked you up and you both liked to spend your evenings in the private library curled up in a chair with a toe curling romance. You found common ground over books and had a very calm, casual friendship.
Cassian was one of the few Illyrians you had learned to trust. He was a very calming male to be around and put you at ease with his broad smile and jokes. You had started eating dinner together more often now that you were here and you seemed to be finding a good companion in him.
Azriel, however, was much more elusive than the other two of the house. And even when you did see him, it wasn’t accompanied by much talk. You knew he could be trusted but still were wary around him, not knowing him as well as the other two, therefore you didn’t know really what to think of him.
Azriel, however, had A LOT of thoughts about you. When he walked into a room with you, his mind went on high alert. Scenting you for strong emotions, desperately trying to read your mind of what you thought of him or read an emotion on your face when you’d look at him. His shadows also seemed to have some thoughts about you, always wanting to wrap around your outstretched hand while you ate or around your waist as you stand. It took almost all of his focus to restrain them, which never seemed to be a problem until you came along. Which leads to now.
You had been reading in the private library all day, deciding to take a break from your walks in town that Cassian would take you to in the morning until after training was done. As you sat there reading, you noticed out of the corner of your eye, a dark swirl of mist coming hesitantly towards you. You then realized what it was. One of Azriel’s shadows. It seemed almost curios to your presence and you wondered what it was doing this far from its master, seeing as though they seem to stick close to him at all times. You hesitantly reached out your hand towards it and it seemed to like that gesture as it swirled around your fingers and then going towards your wrist. You giggled silently as the faint shadow barely grazed your skin and tickled the delicate hairs on your arm.
After a few seconds, it shifted away from you and towards the door and you smiled as it departed, you assumed back to Azriel. You slightly smiled and went back to reading your book in peace. That was the first time you ever interacted with Azriel's shadows.
---
The next time they seemed to have found you, you were laying in bed on your stomach. You were having a really tough day with the pain. After your wings had been cut, it seemed to be a constant battle with the chronic ache in your back muscles and nerves. Sometimes you swear you could feel them still there just aching and you just had to deal with it. Today was one of those days. The winter months were coming and it was the first frost of the season and your nonexistent wings seemed to know that.
The pain radiated through your back and into your arms. All you knew to do was take a bath with some oils you had read in a book to use that ease pain. If you had enough strength to engage the muscles to get up you would, but decided to wait it out a little longer, hoping you could some how fall asleep in the midst of the pain. As you squeezed your eyes shut, you sighed, wishing you had the strength to make it to the bath. As you opened your eyes, you noticed a shadow coming through the crack under your door. You watched it come closer and and you noticed it seemed less hesitant this time as it came closer to your body laying on the bed. You smiled weakly as it hovered in the air in front of you.
"Hi." you cleared your throat, remembering you hadn't eaten yet today. "I'm okay, just in a little pain is all. If only you could help me get out of my bed." You softly said, mostly speaking to yourself, not really meaning anything by the statement. The shadow bobbed and then darted out of the room. You closed your eyes, wondering why it left so fast this time, wondering if you startled it by talking.
Unbeknownst to you, the shadow that had just visited you and darted out of the room to grab Azriel who was sat at the table eating some lunch the House had prepared with Cassian. His spoon dropped into his soup as the shadow whispered she is hurt, she needs help. Instantly knowing the shadows meant you, he ran to your room where he assumed you would be and pushed open the door to find you lying on your stomach on your bed.
You eyes flew open to the sound of hurried foot steps and your door being yanked open and you jumped, the muscles in your back tensing, causing a ripple of pain to go through your body. You clenched your teeth and hissed through them.
Azriel immediately came to your side, not knowing what to do or how to help, his eyes wide with concern. You put the pieces together, realizing his shadow snitched on your whispered words.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to alarm you. I was just talking with one of your shadows and had passively mentioned I was stuck here. I didn't mean to bother you." Azriel blinked at you.
"Are you hurt?" He asked.
"No! I mean... yes... but this happens a lot, but its not like its an injury or anything." You looked up at him, sideways, head turned towards the man who was scanning you for injuries frantically with his eyes.
"What do you mean stuck?"
"Oh. My wings hurt a lot today, so I'm struggling to move my back muscles much, the nerves feel like they're on fire. So I'm pretty much stuck to my bed today." You explain, cheeks heating a little under his piercing gaze. His eyes softened and body relaxed as you explain you weren't actively bleeding out. His heart instantly tightened from the mention of your wings, or lack thereof. Empathy flooded him, not even being able to fathom not having his wings.
"Is there a way I can help you?" He asked, kneeling down next to the bed so you didn't have to strain to look up at his anymore. Your cheeks heated a little more realizing how beautiful he is close up.
"No, I wouldn't want to bother you. It just the frost. This happens every once in a while." At that perfect moment, your stomach decided to give a nice grumble, one that he obviously heard. His face twitched into a smile.
"How about some food?" He questioned, knowing the answer. You smiled back and answered with a nod.
"Could you help me sit up?" Azriel nodded back and reached out his hands for you to take. As they got closer, there was a slight hesitation as he reached towards you as he remembered that you would have to feel his bare hands against your skin. He searched your face as you took them, not noticing any disgusted reaction to seeing them. He gently helped you roll to your side, going at your own pace. You took a deep breath as you sat up and gripped his hands harden as if to ground you as you took in the pain. You then slowly rose from the bed side to stand, shoulders slumped a little as if you couldn't fully raise them to stand up straight.
"I could give you some pain killers that Madja gave to me. They do a great job at numbing aches." He offered as he watched you stretch the baby nubs that were left of your wings. You looked towards him and smiled, "I would like that."
You started to walk towards the door and naturally grabbed onto his arm as you took some shaky steps. You didn't realize how weak you had become from the lack of food and you were eager to get to the dining room table to find out what is for lunch.
He smiled down at you, both hands on his burned arm, the small hands embracing his insecurity. You felt a familiar tickle on your arms and looked down and noticed his shadows darting all up your arms as if they were excited to be near you. You looked back up towards him and met his eyes with a shy smile. As he watched his shadows dart around your arms, whispering their excitement to be around you, he knew he was destined to be helping you to the table for the rest of his life and that was a sweet, sweet thing.
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I loved “The Plot” so much 😍😍😍 I’m an Anthony girl so reading this has made me so so happy 🤍🤍🤍🤍
thank you so much!!! i’m so glad you loved it! me too ;))) thank you for reading love! 🖤
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