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Art by austinpardunart // Etsy

• like or reblog if you save 💕

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random ~ discord headers

#discord headers #discord #collage psd #collage headers #girls with psd #aesthetic #facebook header #discord server #psd header

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random discord headers

#darkness #dark headers #discord #discord header #discord headers #collage headers #facebook header #psd header #girls with psd #collage psd

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random sad headers ~ because it's a mood

#twitter headers #twitter header pack #collage header #psd header

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Missing. 

Svu!Reader x Aaron Hotchner

A/N: SO! I finished part ONE, finally. I didn’t add a taglist to this since it is also in the SVU fandom- so I wasn’t sure who exactly would like this? But comment/ message me if you want to be tagged in part two!

warning: So this part does not have hot

Masterlist.

——————————————————————- It was halloween. The city had been strung out in the usual orange and black colours. Streets filled with houses decorated to the brim. Many were more scary than others but some still showed the halloween-spirit. It was by far the most dreaded holiday in the precinct. Detectives having to canvass neighbourhoods, patrol the streets, pay special attention to known offenders. “Hi guys! Staying safe on the streets, are we?” you spoke to the kids making their way past you both. “Yes!” They cheered, halloween spirit being crystal on their faces. “Be careful, okay guys? And don’t forget to have fun!” You speak to the group. They agreed and then went their way, smiles evident on their faces. You watched them walk away with a smile on your face. You had always loved kids. Growing up an only child, you were always wishing to have a big family of your own, when you were older. But lately, you’d been drowning with baby fever. “You want any of your own?” Fin asks, a smile also on his face “Someday- for sure. And many at that-” you laughed. “Good luck with that, even one of mine was-” he looked away. You laughed a bit at his face, reasoning- “It’s hard for sure, but hey- you’re relationship with Ken is a work in progress- you know that.” hoping the hand on his shoulder granted him some comfort. He only nodded in response. Fin was….pretty much your family at this point. You had joined the unit shortly after Beck had left and had been Fin’s partner for a short while. To be honest, whenever Munch was too lazy to go out on calls- he sent you along with Fin. And well, that was quite often. So in your few years at the SVU, you and him had an obvious bond. His overprotective, loyal nature almost made him your surrogate brother, you had found comfort in that notion, quite quickly. To be honest, that was the case with almost everyone there. With munch, Stabler and Benson. Though she was deep undercover when you first joined, after the first few weeks of receiving her curt shoulder, she had opened up to you. And now, the both of you were practically joined at the hip. Her assuming your best friend/ big sister role. Shaking away the thoughts when you realised you had reached the place, you focused. You were on the third round tonight with Fin. Rollins had gone on the other two and needed a break back at the precinct, so you decided to cover for her. Thought she deserved a break after catching all those idiots. It was the fifth house currently, you and Fin had made a few busts with known felons that were passing out candy, violating their parole. “Trick or treaaaat?” you mimicked a child’s voice when you softly knocked on the door. He was number 7th on your list for this round. Almost instantly a man in a bunny costume opened the door “Well, well well-”stilled when he saw Fin’s and yours badges. “Aren’t you kinda old to be a bunny?” Fin asked, not amused by his costume. Pulling him out of his doorway and shoving him against the wall. ‘Hey- hey HEY i know my rights- I-I wasn’t doing anything wrong-” he mumbled as Fin and you dragged him away to the mobile cells. “Yeah, yeah- we’ll see what the DA says about that-” , shutting him up promptly. The both of you escort him out, locking him up in the mobile jail. The cells were filling up quickly- it was quite bittersweet. You were glad that you were catching convicts but also saddened by the fact that they’re still onto their old ways. Back at the precinct now, Cragen filled you and Fin in on the current case. A frantic woman had reported that her car which had her baby inside was stolen. An amber alert had been sent out immediately and both the mother and father had been separated from each other, both occupying interrogation rooms. As you had let 1pp know about this situation, they had called in the FBI to deliver a profile. Dr Huang had mentioned that he was familiar with a Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavioural Analysis Unit that could be helpful in this case. So, following Huang’s advice, Cragen had invited the BAU to help out. 

Fin and you had been watching from the outside, analysing the Mom and the Dad. Nick had built up some rapport with the Mom, while Benson with the dad. They were giving you all mixed signals. 

They know something, you thought. 

You heard Cragen’s door open and close and heard him talk to a group of people, you mentally rolled your eyes at that. Damn federal agents, you scowled.You hated when the higher-ups came onto your cases, they did nothing but cause more trouble than help, somehow. Well, that was your experience with them either way. So it was safe to say that you weren’t ecstatic on the unit coming down from Virginia. In fact, you were dreading it. Talking to those holier-than-thou types. That was the last thing you wanted on top of your already tiring day. 

“You ready for the Feds?” Fin smirked at you. 

You merely rolled your eyes at him. He knew how much you hated the higher-ups, and well- rightfully so. 

“Born ready-” you scowled, as the both of you called on Amaro and Benson. 

As they made their way out, you mentally took in Amaro. Sleeves rolled up, his jacket off- he looked ….. good. Especially when he saw you outside the door, a smile dancing on his lips. 

Okay, so, maybe you had a little crush on him since the day he joined, but- he was married, as you constantly reminded yourself. Pushing away those lingering thoughts, you made your way to the bullpen with the rest. Trying to somehow, control your flustered nature- He just smiled, dammit Y/N! 

Focus! 

Tagging: @ssa-sarahsunshine

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Office Mishaps

Ficlet. Rafael Barba x reader. Totally inspired by episode 05x13 of Grey’s Anatomy - a Slexie incident - for those who know, you know. CW: implied smut, language. WC: 668

***

“Hey Carmen.” Amanda greeted brightly. “Brought you coffee.” Carmen smiled brightly taking the cup out of her hands. She removed her headphones.

“Afternoon detectives.”

“And I brought zeppole.” Sonny piped from behind Amanda.

“You’re both a godsend.” Carmen replied.

“So, is Barba in there? We need some warrants.” Amanda asked.

Keep reading

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Need. Part. 4. Needed. THIS IS SO GOOOOOD.

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 3*

Yay I’m so happy people love this! 

SUMMARY: Summary: You’re an SVU detective, the entire squad is all driving to Hartford Connecticut in your car to interview a victim’s family. ROAD TRIP!!!!

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Tag List: @wanniiieeee

Keep reading

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Build Me Up Buttercup *PART 2*

I know no one asked for this, but it just came tumbling out of me. 

Summary: You’re an SVU detective, you and the squad are driving to Hartford CT to interview a victim’s family. ROAD TRIP!!!

Part 1 

Part 3

Keep reading

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I need some water.

Angry sex with Barba after he comes back to New York and he left without explanation before

When Rafael comes back to New York, you instantly tracked him down, asking him “what the fuck?” He said nothing before he left three years ago, and you were fuming. At first, Rafael tried to calm you down, explain himself. But you just continued screaming at him, causing him to become defensive. Soon enough, you’re in each other’s faces, yelling at each other, not caring if the neighbors heard.

You’re not sure who lunged for each other first--or if it was a mutual motion--but your lips are colliding, all tongues and teeth. You’re absolutely ripping his clothes off, and Rafael pushes you against the wall, his mouth latching to your neck. He litters your body with marks as he fucks you roughly against the wall.

Once done, he’ll ask you to stay the night. Either you say no and leave, trying to figure out your emotions. Or you say yes, and Rafael takes you to bed, spending the rest of the night rememorizing you, apologizing as he makes love to you.

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one true love

pairing: rafael barba x gn!reader

wc: 361

requested by @itsjustmyfantasyroom: Hey lovely, for fluffy words promts! May I please have 7. My mother adroes you & 10 Did you just kiss me with Rafael pretty pretty please 🥰

tw: none, just fluff!

a/n: hey love, i hope you enjoy! ❤️

law and order svu masterlist! ✯ taglist!

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Rafael wanted you to meet his mother for a long time now.

He thought it was too early but at the same time it wouldn’t matter because he loved you so much.

But you didn’t know that.

“Rafael, are you sure you want me to meet your mother?” You ask one night while you’re working at the precinct.

“Of course, I’m very sure! My mother adores you!” Rafael gushes.

“Wait. You talk about me to your mom?”

“Yeah.” He says sheepishly.

You found it super cute that Rafael talked about you to his mom, but why?

Maybe he thought you were his one true love? You’d probably never know.

“Plus, I’m not asking you to meet her now, but probably a bit later.”

That calms you down a bit.

Life went on as normal, Rafael never mentioned you having to meet his mother for a little.

One day you’re at his office getting ready for court - you know the usual stuff, you going over your testimony, Rafael making last minute changes to his opening and closing statements.

He was stressed, you of all people could tell.

Since Rafael was more of a reserved person, he tended to bottle up his feelings instead of talking to someone about them, it was easy for most people to not notice when he was stressing out about something.

But not you. That’s how close you were to Rafael.

“Raf, what’s going on? Anything I can do to help?”

“I- It’s nothing, I just need to make sure these compel the jury. We have to win this case.”

“It’s not nothing. Raf, please calm down. Sit next to me.” You pleaded. You hated seeing Rafael like this, even though it came with the job.

He was reluctant at first, but he finally gave in.

You listened to him as he talked about the case, and why it was frustrating him.

Then you did the unexpected.

You kissed him on the lips.

“Did you just kiss me?” Rafael asks, clearly flustered at your sudden gesture.

“Yes. You looked like you needed it.”

“Then it looks like you’re gonna be giving me a lot more kisses than that.”

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taglist: @detective-giggles @lapaquerette @storiesofsvu @averyhotchner @ssaic-jareau @redlipstickandplaid

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WHY SO CUUUUUTE. 🥺🥺🥺

Hey 🌸 could it be possible to have Rafi or Sonny (detective or ADA Sonny. Up to you) with Judge!reader where she’s not feeling well at all while in court. And he notices, but before he can catch her (while she’s on the bench (I think that’s the right term for where judges sit)) she faints? 😅🙈 you can choose if you want to do HC or full fic 😊 thank you in advance ❤️

Unbiased Help

A/N: Ohhh, I love the thought of judge!reader, and Sonny trying to stifle his crush because it may be inappropriate. Special shout out to @lapaquerette for helping me with the medical stuff! I hope y’all enjoy!

Disclaimer: The salt trick Sonny uses is an old wives’ tale. Don’t do it in real life.

Tags: low blood pressure fainting, otherwise none

Words: 1462

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @shroomiehomie @glimmerglittergirl @alwaysachorusgirl @reading--mermaid @joanofarkansass @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @dreamlover31 @crowleysqueenofhell

It had been the longest week of your life. You were a judge in the Manhattan courthouse, and though you’ve presided over hard cases before, the one you had to sit through on Monday had stuck with you. It was a terrible trial with even worse offenses, and the defendant wasn’t remorseful in the least. It simultaneously had made your blood boil, and your blood run cold. And then, you couldn’t sleep that night. In fact, in the past week, you’ve hardly slept more than 2-3 a night, if you were lucky.

But it was Friday, and you were hoping to recover this weekend. You just had to make it through today. Luckily for you, you only had one case to preside over; The People vs. Scott Caine. It was scheduled to last all day—God knew Buchanan could talk slow enough to drag this out—but at least this case wasn’t as haunting. It was a run-of-the-mill, he said, she said case. And Buchanan’s opponent—ADA Peter Stone—was not nearly as long-winded as Rafael Barba could be. So, hopefully, Stone would push it along.

Sure enough, Stone moved through his questioning and cross quickly and succinctly. Buchanan, as predicted, went slowly, dragging out the trial. At this rate, you’d be lucky to finish summations before you had to call it for the day. And that time was fast approaching—during the lunch break, you didn’t eat anything, and your stomach was starting to let you know.

***

Sonny sat in the gallery behind Stone, watching—and learning—how he conducted himself. He was definitely different than Barba; that wasn’t shocking to Sonny. No one was like Barba in the courtroom. But Stone was effective, and Sonny took mental notes. Eventually, his gaze shifted, though, as it always did when you were the judge. Sonny had a crush on you, though he’d never say anything. Not if he himself wanted to be a prosecutor. Instead, he’d just watch you.

At first, he was impressed by how neutral you kept your expression, and how fairly you doled out sentences. But the more he examined your face, the more he could pick out what you were thinking; the slight narrowing of your eyes, the smallest of creases in your eyebrows as you found something ridiculous. Which is why he noticed before anyone else did that something was wrong.

Sonny was just leaning forward to tell Stone to check on you, when your eyes rolled back, and you collapsed on the bench. There was silence as your head collided with the wood in front of you with a soft thud before there was a flurry of sounds and movement. Stone rushed towards the bench, calling out for someone to call for help. Sonny was right behind him, but the bailiff beat both of them.

“What happened?” Stone asked the bailiff, who simply shook his head. Sonny knelt by your head, feeling for a pulse. Once confirmed that you were alive, Sonny grasped your armpits.

“Help me move her to her chambers—we need to get her out of here,” he explained. Stone went to your legs, hefting them into his arms. The bailiff hurried ahead of the two men, opening doors for them as they carried your limp body towards your chambers.

Sonny had only been there once before, but he remembered that you had a jug of lemon water in there. He knew the signs of fainting from low blood pressure—it happened to his father often—and he knew how to help.

Once in your chambers, they gently laid you on the couch and Sonny started barking orders. “Stone, get a glass of lemon water ready. Jackson, go tell the Clerk of the Court that I’m going to be moving her to a hospital once she comes to.”

The bailiff nodded once before leaving. As Stone got the water ready, Sonny reached in his pocket and pulled out a packet of salt. He gently lifted your head, opened your mouth, moved your tongue, and poured a little salt there.

“What’re you doing?” Stone asked as he came to stand next to the couch.

Sonny closed your mouth, wiping his hand on his pants and laying you back down. “It’s something Ma taught me growing up with my Pa. Salt should get her a peak in her blood pressure, stabilizing her until we can get her to drink the lemon water and to a hospital.”

“And you just…carry salt around?”

“Of course; I’m Italian.” When Stone gave him a look, Sonny sighed. “Never know when your food will need a little bit of flavor…or if someone will faint from low bp.”

Stone still side-eyed him, but said nothing as they waited for you to awake. It took another few, tense minutes before your eyelids fluttered.

***

You felt light-headed, blinking rapidly as you awoke. You recognized your surroundings as your chambers, the cool faux leather of the couch underneath you. You jumped slightly as two figures leaned over you…ADA Stone and that detective for SVU…Carisi, you remembered.

“Come on, sit up, but slowly,” Detective Carisi instructed, helping you to sit.

You shook your head slightly. “Wh-what happened?” you asked groggily.

Stone pushed a glass of water into your hands, and you gratefully drank it. “You passed out—Carisi here thinks it’s from low blood pressure,” he explained.

“Low blood pressure? But I’ve never had—”

“It doesn’t have to happen before for it to happen now,” Carisi said gently. “Sometimes, it can happen from shock…or stress.”

You nodded, thinking about the week from hell you’ve been having. Stone took the empty glass from you, going to refill it. “Well, I’m glad I had you two around to help me. I’m feeling better…though, I taste salt.”

“Oh, that’s my fault. It’s a way to spike your blood pressure,” Carisi said, smiling softly. You nodded vaguely, taking the glass from Stone, and drinking the water once more. “Are you feeling okay enough for me to take you to the hospital?”

You almost spit out your water. “Hospital? I don’t need—”

“You full-on passed out in the middle of court—you’re going to the hospital,” Carisi asserted.

You sighed. “Fine.” You glanced at Stone. “You should prepare for a new judge—I’ll have to recuse myself since I can be perceived to have bias after this. Since you and Detective Carisi took care of me.”

Stone nodded. “Understandable. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Of course. And thank you for helping me out.”

Both men helped you stand, and Stone moved ahead to open doors for you. Carisi helped you out of your robes, then slung your arm over his shoulders, his arm around your waist, and he walked you out.

“I can walk,” you said, smiling.

Carisi didn’t release you. “I don’t doubt it. But in case you faint again, I want to make sure you don’t break your nose on the floor.”

You smiled brighter. “I appreciate it.”

He led you out of the courthouse and into his squad car. It was a short ride to the hospital, and he talked to you the whole time, conversation shockingly easy. You don’t think you’d had more than a handful of conversations with the detective, and even then, it was more with Stone, Carisi tagging along and asking legal questions.

You expected him to drop you off and go do whatever he had to for the day. But Carisi never left your side. The only time you lost him was when you went back to speak to a doctor. And you were shocked when you came out that Carisi was still there.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said simply, shrugging as if it was normal.

You squinted suspiciously at him. “You’re not trying to earn brownie points with me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not! I was just…worried.”

He seemed so sincere, and it made your heart flutter. “Good, because I plan on remaining unbiased in your trials.” You smiled softly at him, and a lopsided grin stretched across his face. “Thank you though, for everything. I think I’m just going to relax this weekend.”

“That’s smart—take it easy. Maybe even take a day or two off, to be sure.”

You nodded. “Are you doing anything this weekend?”

You watched the blush creep up his neck to the tips of his ears. “I’m, uh, no….”

“Feel free to decline but, well, would you like to get a drink with me? I can answer any law questions you have—”

“I’d love to,” Carisi said, brightening. You smiled, following Carisi—Sonny—out to his car. He drove you home and you exchanged numbers, excited to see each other the next day.

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ross & rachel [3x16 aesthetic] lockscreens  ♡

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f.r.i.e.n.d.s collage lockscreens ♡

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The tension. The. Feeling. Oh, boi.

Prompt: giving Rafael head beneath his desk while his co-workers were in his office and grinding on his shoe

I love secret blowjobs!....that’s a weird thing to say. I love writing secret blowjobs! (under a readmore for length)

Rafael had been teasing you all day yesterday, and now it was your turn to pay him back. You showed up at his office, wearing a sundress that barely covered anything, and lacy underwear. Rafael’s eyes darkened as he saw you.

“What are you doing here, mi amor?” he asked, his voice dark in warning.

You smirked. “I want to worship that cock of yours,” you replied, and he clenched his jaw.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Oh, I do. Don’t let me distract you.”

You made your way around his desk, then dropped to your knees. You reached up, rubbing his half-hard length over his pants. Rafael watched, his eyes narrowed.

“Do you want me to punish you for being a brat?” he growled.

“Mmm, you know I love when you punish me, sir,” you purred at him.

You started undoing his belt, and he grabbed your wrists in his big hands, stopping you. “And if someone walks in? My door’s unlocked.”

“Then I suggest you stay quiet. Besides, I know it turns you on, thinking about fucking my mouth in front of the whole courthouse.”

His cock twitched in his pants, and you knew you were right. Even so, you crawled under his desk, and Rafael turned his chair to face you once more. You undid his pants, and pulled them and his underwear down just enough to free his now fully erect cock.

Licking your lips, you leaned forward, taking the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him. You heard Rafael inhale sharply, and he leaned further back in his chair, pushing his hips forward and giving you more access.

You relaxed your throat, taking him deeper and deeper into your mouth on every bob, your hand jerking off what you couldn’t fit. Rafael let out the smallest of groans as you took him deeper, letting him hit the back of your throat.

“God, you’re such a good cocksucker, aren’t you? Such a good girl, on her knees, mouth open any time I need it,” he growled. You hummed around him in acknowledgement, and he groaned again.

“Do a good job, and maybe I’ll bend you over my desk, and--” he was cut off as his office door opened, a woman’s voice ringing out.

“Hey, Rafa--I’m here to pick up those warrants,” she said, and you froze, Rafael’s cock deep in your mouth. Your lips twitched upwards before you sucked particularly hard, tongue swirling around his shaft.

“O-of course, Liv,” Rafael replied, and you heard him shuffling through papers. One hand came under the desk, and he gripped your hair, pulling--a warning.

You took the hint, pulling off him. Your core was aching with need, and you carefully lowered to the ground, finding his dress shoe and sitting on it. You positioned yourself over him, and he dug his heel into the ground, lifting his toe into the air. Once you spread your legs enough--so that the cold material was against your burning clit--you grinding against his shoe, trying not to moan at the feeling.

“Are you okay, Rafa? You seem distracted,” Liv asked.

Before he had a chance to answer, you leaned forward, taking the head back into your mouth, massaging the spot just under the head that you knew drove him wild.

“F-fine. Just busy,” Rafael replied. He let out a groan that he covered up with a cough. “Here’s your warrants; now if you’ll excuse me, I have motions to counter.”

You heard footsteps, then his office door open and close before Rafael let out a shaky breath that turned into a groan as you took him fully back into your mouth. But then Rafael rolled his chair backwards, pulling out of your mouth.

“You. Are in so much trouble,” he growled, looking down at you with a darkness in his eyes. “Now go lock my office door while I figure out your punishment.”

You smirked at him, crawling out from under his desk. You hurried to the door, locking it, then back, excited to see what he had in store for you.

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oh, god. <3

Part 2: He loves you. You love him, not.

Pairing: Rafael Barba x (not) You

Type: Angst (kind of?) Fluff (also, kind of? I honestly have no idea.)

Warnings: Consumption of alcohol. (If I missed anything let me know, and I’ll edit this warning section. Thanks.)

# of words: 2,5+

Written by: Lustvolle-liebe

 —————————————–

He could not believe that he was here right now; at a bar with the rest of the squad including you just so you all could celebrate in a bachelorette-like party before you get married in a few weeks. Your “real” bachelorette party will be with your friends (and will be a lot more rated-R) and is going to be a couple days before the wedding, but this one, today, was just for you and your coworkers. However, Kat is the only one that will be going to both, as you two have become great friends. 

 When you asked Barba to celebrate with you, he wanted to say ‘no.’ He was about to say ‘no,’but when you made your eyes bigger and pouted your lip that was the end of him. You had him wrapped around your little finger and he could not seem to ever find himself saying ‘no’ to you. 

 It had been over six months since the night he cried on Olivia’s shoulder. Your wedding was coming up in only a matter of weeks and he was still desperately in love with you. (He could argue even more now.) He has yet to tell you his feelings, and now he was in this torturous situation of watching you from the table as you and Kat were out on the dance floor dancing having a great time. All he could think of was what it would be like marrying you; thinking about you walking down the aisle wearing a beautiful dress and your perfect smile all the way to him, or even just running off to the courthouse to sign the papers and leave for your honeymoon. He would not mind doing either one as a wedding because he would be happy with you. 

“I’m surprised you came.” Olivia said matter-of-factly as she watched him watch you.

Snapping out of his daydream he answers her, “me too, but apparently I felt like torturing myself tonight.” He let out a short airy laugh and continued, “she came to my office and asked me to come here tonight, and I just couldn’t seem to say no.” 

 “Rafael.” Olivia said with a mix of warning, concern, and sadness. 

 “I know. I know.” He replied dismissively.

Time is running away from him. There were two times when he almost confessed his feelings to you. The first time was when you both were working late one evening in his office, just the two of you. It wasn’t the hardest case Rafael ever had to prosecute, but this one did have a lot of extra documents that needed to be checked and sorted before the start of the trial. That night was very calm, you were sitting on the ground with a dozen piles of papers sorting while Rafael was sitting on the couch taking notes. He was getting increasingly more frustrated and on the verge of a panic attack from not being able to make his answer tree perfect. You had gotten up from your spot to go help him calm down when you noticed his energy changed.

 “Hey, hey, hey. What’s going on?” You say soothingly.

 “I just can’t get it— It’s—It’s—It’s not working.” He let out a frustrated groan, pinching the bridge of his nose. You talked him through it; helping him to relax by rubbing his upper back and shoulder area. Your touch calms him down almost instantly.

 “It’s getting late why don’t we finish tomorrow after a good night’s sleep?”

 He checks his watch that reads 10:00pm, and nods. “Thank you, Y/n. But first, I—.” He was about to confess his love then and there, but your phone began to ring. He saw your fiancé’s name pop up and he shut his mouth. 

Now, the second time was when you were undercover. Which ended up with you having to go to the hospital for a few broken ribs and some stitches. He was a mess when Olivia called him to tell him the news. When he entered your room, you smiled like nothing was wrong and he nearly broke down and spilled out his heart to you, but even then, he wasn’t able to go through with it, and now he feels like it’s too close to your wedding to say anything. He put himself into this spot, and now he feels stuck. He thinks that he will hurt you or at the very least make your relationship too awkward. When it comes to relationships Rafael tends to fall into the hole of only thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Because sadly, most of his relationships ended up that way and now that is what he expects. This is also comforting to him in a way, but it also leaves a missing piece in his heart. When he first met you, there was just something about you that he couldn’t describe and didn’t fully understand. Now, he thinks he knows what that was (and still is), but believes he realized what it was, too late. You were the missing piece. 

 You have never really talked about your fiancé, John, at work, and Rafael and the squad had only met him once since you got engaged. When Rafael learned who the man was that was standing next to you with his arm securely over your shoulders, one would have thought that your fiancé was Rafael’s mortal enemy. If only looks could kill. Liv actually had to bump him with her shoulder to get him to stop making that look. 

 Over an hour and several shots later into you party, it was time for people to leave. Olivia was first as she had to go relieve her babysitter. Amanda and Sonny followed soon after, so did Fin. Then it was only you, Kat and Rafael left. On any other occasion, Rafael would have been the last there; first gone, but today he had drunk a little more than he usually did making him just buzzed enough to be more comfortable around you. Eventually, Kat left, so it was just you two talking about happy stories and life altering moments in your lives. As you two continue to talk and drink the space between you both gets smaller with frequent, yet, innocent touches. 

 “Alright, I’mma gonna call it a night.” You slur your words a little after a very close call of you two kissing. 

 “Yeah, me too. Here let me walk you home.” He replied, as you get up to put on your coat.

 You both walk out of the doors and you take a deep breath of the city air. Some people find the air to be gross, but to you the city air is somewhat comforting. It is a home to you.

Swaying a little you confess out loud, “I don’t really want to go home just yet.”

 “Why not?” He asked, concerned. The first thing to pop in his head was that you were scared to go home to your fiancé. That, God forbid, he was hurting you. 

 “I’ll be all alone.”

 “Where’s your fiancé?” 

 “He’s on a work trip. Won’t be back for a few days.”

On one hand, he was relieved that you weren’t being hurt, but on the other he did wish, a little, that there was something going on. So that you would feel less guilty for loving you.

 “You can come over to my place, if you want?” He offers, knowing it is a bad idea on his part. 

 You agree to his offer. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was fate, but either way you were happy to go home with him.

 Rafael helped you walk to his apartment just relishing in the fact that you had your arm linked with his. You shivered, ducking your head into his shoulder to hide your face as the cold breeze hit you. Rafael wrapped his arms around you and held you till the wind slowed down, then you both continued on your way. 

 Once you two got to his apartment, the lights of the city mesmerized you as you stood in front of the large windows of his living room.

 “Beautiful.” You said softly, talking about the city. said, walking up next you, watching you. 

 “It really is.” Rafael said, walking up next you; watching you.

You smiled then after another minute or twofold city-gazing, you held a hand to your mouth as you felt a yawn coming on that you couldn’t stop it from escaping.

 “Let’s get you to bed.” An affiliative smile filled his face and offered his hand to lead you to his room, down the short hallway.

 He helps you over to his bed. “Wait here. I’ll go find some clothes for you.” Rafael left you sitting on his bed while he went to grab some clothes. “Here I found a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. They might be a little big on you, but they should be fine.”  He hands you the clothes, but you don’t take them so he sets them down next to you. Your head hangs low, not making any eye contact, your thoughts are running. Rafael kneels on one of his knees and instinctively sets his right hand onto your knee before sliding it off feeling like it was wrong to do that. The way you’re acting is beginning to make him worried, “hey, are you okay?”

 You didn’t speak right away. The alcohol was making it hard to clearly articulate your thoughts. “I don’t know. I’m just having doubts.” You ramble on, “I’m just scared that he’s going to change after I marry him and—I don’t know.” You take a deep breath. “I always hear those horror stories of a spouse changing and, and I’m scared. Maybe subconsciously I know that we’re not supposed to be together or—or maybe I’m just sabotaging my relationship. I’ve done that before in the past so that could be likely. You know—I don’t—I don’t know what to do really. I wanna marry him because I do love him, but I’m just scared. You know, they say more women have been lost to marriage than anyone has to war, so if those statistics are true then that really is terrifying. Like, I know I have police training. I mean, I’m a detective. I’ve been punched, kicked, spit on, you name it, but—but when it’s your partner, I don’t know, it’s just—it’s different and you can never really know how you’ll react if that happens.” You finally look him in the eye. “What do you think I should do?” 

 “Be with me. I would never hurt you.” Is what he wanted to say, but he bit his tongue when he looked into your somber eyes. Contemplating what to say, he let out a sigh before saying, “being in love can be scary, but the unknown can be even more. Trust me, I know that one all too well.” He looked away, saying that last part under his breath. Looking back into your eyes he continues, “sadly, I can’t give you an answer on what to do, but just know that you will always have me.” Rafael cups the side of your face, “Y/n I’m serious, if anything happens—if he so much raises the tone of his voice at you, I will put him away before he can say “not guilty” at arraignment.” He tries to lighten the mood, because this was the closest he has and probably will ever get to confessing his love for you.

 You nod your head, contemplating what he said. It made you feel a little better; you were still a little scared, but you were happy to know that you will always have someone in your corner. Your head was spinning because of the alcohol in your system, but even so, you were completely aware of the conversation and tried to keep in your memory for when you wake up in the morning. 

 “If you want to talk more about this, let’s do so tomorrow, okay? How about we get you to bed?”  

 “Yeah,” your eyelids are getting heavier and sleep sounded good. You try to toe off your shoes with no luck, so he helps you undo the straps and carefully pulls off your heels and rubs the marks made from wearing them for too long. He stands up and offers his hand to help you up as well, making sure you are stable enough to stand upright. 

 “Why don’t you change into those clothes and I’ll go set your shoes by the front door and grab some water for you.” Rafael leaves you alone so you can have some privacy. You try to unzip the back of your dress with no success. Defeated, you sit back down on his bed and wait for him to come back. 

 Meanwhile, Rafael is rubbing his face wondering how he got himself into this situation. He placed your heels by the front door and is now filling up a glass with water for you to help with the hangover you’re going to have in the morning. He waits another minute before knocking on the bedroom door, “Y/n? Can I come in?” 

 “Yeah, you can come in.” When he enters, he sees you sitting on the bed still in your dress. “I couldn’t get the zipper undone.” You say with an over exaggerated pout. You didn’t like feeling helpless, but you just could not get that zipper down.. 

 “Here. Let me help you.” There is no way this is helping him. Nevertheless, he walks to the nightstand and sets down the water as you stand up and turn your back to him so that he can help you. He is careful not to touch your skin as he pulls down the zipper. Once you felt that it was all the way down, you turn around to face him. Your bodies are almost touching, which resulted in him taking a step back, grabbing the pile of clothes and handing them to you. You give a small tight-lipped smile as a way to say ‘thank you’ and start to put the clothes on. Rafael turns and looks away in order to give you some privacy as you change. Trying to not think about the things he wanted to do to you. Which he was a little unsuccessful in keeping his thoughts pure.

 “Okay,” you say softly, jolting him out of his thoughts. 

 Rafael turns back around to face you. You both stood still just staring at each other. There was something about this moment where everything felt to be in sync, so right, and neither of you seemed to want to mess it up. You start to yawn, again. You were still very drunk and still very much ready to sleep. Breaking his trance on you, Rafael pulls back the bed covers and helps you in. You sigh in contentment and almost instantly you fall asleep. 

 “Good night, Y/n.” He smiles down at you before turning off the bedside light and leaving the room to go sleep on the couch. He sleeps on his couch more often than he would like. After a long day at the office then going back to his house to continue working, he has often fallen asleep in nearly every sitting area in his apartment, so this was no big deal to him. 

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Note: Sorry it took so long to post the 2nd part! Believe it or not, I wrote most of it within the first 48 hours of posting the first part but then I had finals week last week and could find motivation to finish it till today:)

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[bureaudart]

bed sharing, angst, comfort.

what’s your fanfic life like?