Yesss, Mingi definitely isnāt stupid. I also think itās best that they wait with their confession; tbh Iād be a bit devastated to find out the girl/boy I like is STILL into his/her ex despite them having broken up years agoā¦canāt wait for them to confess tho LOL
Love Me Like A Rockstar (8)
Chapter 8: Own My Mind
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
Warning: cursing
Word count: 8.3k
Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au
Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hello, lovelies! I'm back with a new chapter and let me tell you, ever since I've started writing this there's been little changes to the plot here and there, but...we should all thank Song Mingi for the way he's been acting this weekend for bringing a major change to it (i wanna kms ha-ha *dies in pain*) Anyways, I have a love-hate relationship with that man right now, don't mind my dramatic ass. Please listen to Maneskin's Own My Mind before or while reading this chapter, just the usual! If you want to be added to this story's taglist, just leave a comment on this post and you'll be added! Also, the drawing our girlie is talking about that is on her bed (later in this chp.), is absolutely waterbomb Mingi and it's a call-back to chp. 4 hehet. I have a surprise at the end of this chapter lol. One last question and then I'm going, should I do a Q&A surrounding this story? Like, if you have any curiosities about it, you can send in an ask and I'll gladly answer it! ^^ I hope you'll enjoy this part and, as always, let me know your thoughts about it!
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @sharksandminhos
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I shivered as I hurriedly shrugged off my jacket, backpack discarded the second I stepped inside my warm home, the loud thunder cut short as Mingi quickly closed the front door behind himself, hissing and groaning. I turned my head to watch him struggle out of his worn-out jacket as I stepped out of my shoes, hardly believing that from just a few minutes out in the rain, even my socks got soaked. Mingiās head shook as his body trembled, and I couldnāt help but chuckle as I watched him. He looked quite hilarious with his black hair sticking to his forehead, glasses so wet he couldnāt see through them anymore, loose clothing now sticking to his lean body like a second skin.
āWhatās so funny?ā Mingi playfully furrowed his eyebrows as he took his specks off, shaking the water off the glass, as wiping it against his already wet clothes wouldnāt have helped him in ridding his glasses of water.
āYou.ā I mumbled with a chuckle as I peeled my cardigan off, skin covered in goosebumps as my damp skin was exposed to the chilly air in the hallway. Mingi rolled his eyes, and placed his glasses back on as I took off towards the wardrobe by the stairs, chewing on my bottom lip. Mingi would have to change out of his wet clothes, unless we wanted him to catch a cold. I couldnāt leave him standing there like that, shivering and sniffing as he already sneezed loudly. His apology was sheepish, but I just flashed him a small smile before opening the heavy door of the wardrobe. There were minimal chances that the box I was looking for was still inside the wardrobe, considering the fact that my mother would go on a cleaning frenzy every month and throw out almost everything inside the house that she deemed unusable anymore. Therefore, there were almost one to zero chances that the box I so vividly remember having placed here ages ago, was still in its spot.
āUh, do you think I could use the bathroom real fast?ā Mingi asked, voice sounding unsure as I kneeled down in front of the wardrobe, eyebrows furrowing when I didnāt spot the box right away.
āOne second, let me find something.ā I called out, leaning forward as I pushed my motherās long coats hanging in my face out of the way, and disappeared further into the wardrobe as I pushed and pulled at the thick blankets she kept in there. I thought about giving up for a second, about her having thrown out the contents of the box I was searching for, but I gasped when I felt the sturdy cartoon underneath my fingertips. With a triumphant smile, I pulled on it, a few scarfs and my very old Hello Kitty beanie falling out in the process. The box felt heavier than I remembered it to be, and my heart settled knowing that my mother didnāt throw it out. But that didnāt mean it didnāt start beating wildly once I sat back on my heels, box placed in front of me. A chill ran down my spine, and I knew right now that it wasnāt because of the chilly air and my damp skin. Whatever still remained inside this boxā¦is what I never had the strength to throw out, to fully get rid of every memory lingering of Yunho. I gulped, chewing on my bottom lip as I hesitated opening it up. But there was another loud sneeze, and as I briefly glanced at Mingi, I couldnāt help but notice the light red tinge on his cheeks as he typed away on his phone, completely soaked. I really had no other choice but to open up the box of pandora.
And a lump formed in my throat when I finally opened it, a stale scent hitting my nose. My eyebrows furrowed when a golden butterfly necklace sat on top of everything, a harsh reminder of all the gifts Yunho would buy for me during our relationship. I have thrown out all the gifts, except this one. It was expensive, and frankly, too beautiful to be thrown out or gifted to anyone else. Gulping, I pushed the necklace aside and sighed as I dug around the box, jaw clenching at the three sketchbooks getting in my way. They were filled with drawings of Yunho and myself, of all the places weāve been to, of all the places I have wished to visit with Yunho. Of all the memories we have once made, and of all the memories I wished we couldāve made. Being an artist was amazing, but at certain times it was a nightmare in disguise, brain able to conjure such vivid images that never happened, that it could fool me into thinking that they have actually happened. I sighed quietly as I felt eyes on me, and finally found what I was searching for. A fuzzy and faded knitted sweater, a plethora of colors mixed together, from beige to a light purple, black and silver in the mix too. I pulled it out of the box, together with the grey sweatpants, and cleared my throat as I stood, hands burning the longer I held the clothing in my hands. I felt guilty, almost disgusting as I neared Mingi again, trying to avoid his eyes as he had an easy look on his face, smiling despite continuously sniffing.
āThese are the only male clothing we have in the house,ā I said as I reached my hands out, looking at Mingiās chest rather than eyes, āhopefully theyāll fit you.ā
āAnd if they wonāt, you can always give me one of your colorful fuzzy cardigans.ā Mingiās tone was playful and I chuckled, giving him a playful glare. Those cardigans would never fit his broad shoulders. The tightness was gone from my chest as Mingi took the clothes from my grasp, a thankful look on his face. The guilt remained, but it wasnāt so pressing anymore.
āYou can change in the bathroom downstairs,ā I pointed towards the closed door across from the wardrobe, ātowels are in the cabinet above the toilet. Do you need a hairdryer?ā
Mingi shook his head with a smile and gave my soaked hair a light tap, āThank you, Y/N.ā
The way he seemed to linger on my name sent my heart into a dumb frenzy, and I found myself flustered beyond, emotion so foreign I forgot how to speak for a second. And Mingi didnāt miss it, fuck, because he walked away with a smug smile towards the bathroom and paused in the doorway for dramatic effect, before disappearing with a damn wink. I huffed, glaring daggers at the closed door as I scurried to shove everything fallen out back inside the wardrobe, closing its door rather harshly. I licked my chapped lips and raced up the stairs, throwing the door to my room open and taking a second to take in its state. My desk was messy, but thatās just how it always was, I couldnāt do much about it right now. I opened the blackout curtains, however, the weather already gloomy enough to cast shadows inside my dark room. I flinched as another thunder rumbled through the sky, and grabbed the first clothes I found in my closet, walking to the bathroom upstairs.
After having changed into wide legged leggings that had cotton on the inside, I quickly threw on a white tank top and a soft pink mock neck sweater, sighing in content as warmth finally enveloped my body after I have dried up the dampness on it with a towel. I skipped down the stairs as I had a towel around my head, messily towel drying my hair, completely missing the tall form standing at the foot of the stairs as I stumbled into him. I yelped, but Mingi quickly steadied me by the elbows. Before I had the chance to pull the towel off my head, two large hands grabbed at it and started softly rubbing the towel against my wet hair. I froze, everything inside me stopping as even my breath stilled, eyes wide open. Mingi said nothing as he continued with his actions, quietly humming to himself. I was afraid heād be able to hear my loud heartbeat as I breathed through my mouth, lips parting as I struggled to calm down. I was thankful for the towel hiding my face, because I could feel the blush spreading down from my cheeks to my ears, and even neck. I couldnāt remember a time when I have blushed this hard, and it made me feel slightly disoriented. For Godās sake, Mingi was simply towel drying my hair for me, why was I having such a visceral reaction to it?! My mind seemed to be screaming at me, but I was too busy trying to regulate my breathing, doing so quietly, as Mingiās hands became a little rougher, almost pulling on specific strands of hair. My eyes narrowed as he turned my head left to right to his likes, and I groaned as his fingers dug into my scalp.
āHey, stop it!ā I whined and slapped at his hand, making Mingi chuckle as he ruffled my hair to the point I had strands from the back falling into my eyes.
āOh, good,ā He was still chuckling, āfor a second there I thought you had fallen asleep with how quiet you were.ā
Despite not being able to see his face, or anything if I looked ahead, I could still peek down and see his feet. I was standing on the last step of the stairs, and with an evil grin, I jumped down, his naked toes falling victims to my attack. Mingi yelped loudly, and I cackled as I pulled the towel off my face, smiling at him smugly.
āServes you right since my hair is all knotted up thanks to you.ā I raised my eyebrows at him as Mingi had his right leg raised, massaging his toes with a pained expression.
āSo you break my toes?!ā He exclaimed, his deep tone a few octaves higher, making me snicker to myself as I threw the towel at him, making him yelp and look at me with an appalled expression on his face.
āStop being a baby,ā I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked towards the front door to lock it before I went inside the kitchen, āAnd wear some slippers before you come to the kitchen.ā
Mingi was closely following behind me, ignoring my words, āWhat, one of your dwarf slippers? Itās either my toes or heels will be dangling off.ā
The image was funny in my head, but I ignored it in order to throw him a scrutinizing look, āThe tiles are cold in here, youāll catch a cold.ā
A wide smile spread on Mingiās lips as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest, biceps bulging underneath the tight fabric of the sweater, āYouāre so cute when you worry about me, doll.ā
There goes the pleasant exchange weāve been having up until now. My voice became devoid of any expression besides the glare I threw at him, mirroring him as I crossed my arms in front of my chest, āIām not cute. Iām merely saying youāll probably catch a cold since weāve been out in the rain not even fifteen minutes ago. And since youāre a singer you should be taking a lot more care of yourself.ā
Mingi remained silent for a few seconds, until I watched a light hue tinge his cheeks. Was he blushing because I was lecturing him? Just what in the hell?!
āYouāre right, sorry.ā Mingi mumbled, but showed no intentions of actually following through with my words as he walked further inside the room, sitting at the table, feet up on the chair as he hugged his long legs to his chest. For such a tall and broad man, he looked extremely tiny sitting on that chair right now.
āUh,ā A little confused by the turn of events, I looked around the kitchen, trying to remember the initial purpose of me coming here, āRight. You donāt like tea, so we have coffee or hot chocolate to warm us up, which one would you like?ā
Mingiās eyes lingered on me for a second too long, taking in my whole being before his eyes settled on my face again, a smile so genuine settling on his lips that his eyes were sparkling, āHot chocolate is fine.ā
I hummed, a little breathless, then turned to open the cabinet above the microwave to take out two tall mugs for the hot chocolate. For some reason, I didnāt mind Mingiās eyes following my every move as I tinkered around in my kitchen, taking everything I needed in my hands to prepare them on the counter. The thought of having Mingi inside my home, sitting in my kitchen, wearing my exās clothes, acting like weāve been friends since forever seemed to hit me at once as I froze for a second while pouring water inside the second mug, Mingiās mug. And what was even more surprising was not finding any thoughts that suggested that this was wrong, that I shouldnāt be doing this, that Mingi didnāt belong inside my kitchen. I didnāt want to dwell more on why it all felt so right, so instead, I watched as the mugs whirled around in the microwave, locking these thoughts away for laterā¦I knew theyād come back late at night to haunt me, itās just how it always was.
Mingi clearing his throat gained my attention as I glanced back at him, and tried not to look too long. The way Yunhoās clothes perfectly fit Mingiās form was alarming, albeit the sweatpants seemed to be slightly too long for Mingi. Iāve had Yunhoās clothes since highschool, which was a few good years ago, yet they still fit Mingi. It made me wonder if the two ever exchanged clothes or wore something matching, like best friends would do for fun. I know Yunho had once mentioned having matching rings with Mingi, but back then I was too jealous about their closeness to ask any further questions about any other matching items they had. And it was a little surprising just how well Mingiās skin tone was complimented by the colors of Yunhoās old sweater, Mingiās necklaces sitting on top of the knitted fabric. That sweater was one of my favoriteās while Yunho and I were dating, Yunho always seemed to be glowing when he wore it. At some point I had even forgotten that I still had it. Perhaps I should do something about the contents of that box, join my mother next month in her frenzy cleaning marathon and throw out its contents.
The microwave pinged and I took the two mugs out, realizing that Mingi and I had been staring at each other for at least a good minute, my cheeks flushed again. A soft chuckle was heard behind me, but I ignored it for my own sake. The silence didnāt last for longer as I opened the little packages containing the hot chocolate powder to pour into our cups, āThis might sound crazy, but I swear Iāve seen this exact sweater on Yunho quite a few times.ā
I froze, thankful that I had my back to Mingi as panic flashed over my face. Deep breaths, I had this. Mingi didnāt have to know, I could lie my way out of this. And so, I forced a small smile on my face as I faced him while walking to the fridge, āReally? Well, coincidence, maybe. Itās my cousinās sweater, he forgot it here once, but as he lives overseas he never came to get it and my mother just placed it away for when he comes to visit us.ā
I didnāt have one single male cousin. Let alone cousinās that lived overseas.
āOh,ā Mingi mumbled as he picked at an undone string on the sleeve of Yunhoās sweater, āYeah, that could be it, a coincidence, I mean. Besides, my memory is a little fuzzy, I might be wrong.ā
I gulped away the guilt that suddenly bloomed in my chest and grabbed the whipped cream, raising it up, āWhipped cream for your hot chocolate?ā
I grinned at Mingi as he slowly shook his head, āI drink it simple.ā
āReally?ā I asked surprised as I walked back to the mugs, āNot even with marshmallows?ā
Mingi shook his head with a small smile and so I mixed his powder with the warm water, handing it to him. Mingi had a fond smile on his lips when he took it, his cold fingers lightly brushing against mine, making me blush like a stupid schoolgirl who has a crush. And I do not have a crush on anyone, let alone on Song Mingi. I swiftly turned around, hoping that Mingi didnāt notice me blushing as I quickly put whipped cream in my hot chocolate and stuck two marshmallows in it, putting everything away quickly. I turned to face him as I took a sip, leaning against the counter. Mingi sat in a cross-legged position on the chair as he had the mug in his hands, ring clad fingers wrapped around the warm ceramic. I couldnāt help myself as my eyes lingered on his painted nails, slowly trailing up to Mingiās face. His black fluffy hair fell in his eyes, obscuring his sharp eyes slightly as they were devoid of the black eyeliner now, a few blemishes tainting his otherwise glowing skin around his jaw, glasses slipping low on his tall nose, and plump lips red and slightly wet from how much Mingi always licks his lips. The simplicity of his whole being has never looked more attractive than right now, and as Mingi opened his mouth to say something, I was startled by such alarming thoughts, and so I hurried out of the kitchen.
āLetās go up to my room!ā I called out, on the brink of crying from all these stupid emotions I was suddenly feeling, trying to calm my crazily beating heart. Who allowed my brain to think in such way of Song Mingi? When did I even start considering him attractive? He was annoying, obnoxiously loud, arrogant and irritating, there was absolutely nothing to like about him or find in him attractive. I had to get a grip of myself right now! Mingiās footsteps were dull as he followed after me, probably surprised that I had waited for him at the top of the stairs, unknowing of the storm inside my head, matching the raging storm outside. Lightning flashed every two seconds, skies rumbling with thunder, shaking even the ground at times. I hated storms, but suddenly it wasnāt as unbearable as before. When Mingi stood next to me, I lead us towards my room and pushed the door open, leaving it like that as Mingi walked in once I stepped aside for him, allowing him inside my safe space.
I have never been consciously proud or embarrassed of what my room looked like, the thought of what others thought of it absent up until right now. As Mingi walked further inside, head turning each and every way, taking everything in, suddenly I realized I was scared of what he would think. My walls were painted a light grey, on purpose, and there was little to no space left bare except for the wall on which the window was. My bed was pushed up against the wall to your left just as you walked inside, sketches that I have done throughout the years plastered up and put on display, my very first drawing even making it up on my wall. It was my little personal museum, a way of reminding myself of where I started out and how much I have evolved ever since, and even how much I was still changing as I was experimenting with my styles, learning a new technique in the class of Mr. Yoon. The desk across from my bed was messy, like I have said, it was littered with everything I needed to have at hand. Pencil holders filled to the brim, at least five of them, then there were brushes and little paint tubes littered all over it, notebooks and discarded sketches sitting underneath it, with my laptop hanging just a little dangerously off, not having paid much attention where I have put it this morning. A plain canvas was spread out on the little free space I still had, a project I had planned on starting today, now postponed for tomorrow. The wall above my desk had three modest shelves filled to the brim with books and some vinylās I have started collecting not long ago, pots and plants hanging off from the sides. The wall around the shelves was decorated by posters and pictures of my favorite bands, a few of my favorite paintings mixing in with them. The little stand next to my desk had my vinyl player, plants underneath it and around it, little ones. And then in the corner there was an old guitar that once had belonged to my mother, who has had a phase back in highschool and dreams of becoming a band member, famous and rich. She didnāt have the heart to gift the guitar to anyone, so sheās always kept it and passed it on to me once I was old enough. I never had an affinity for playing any instruments, but I do enjoy good music. A mix of old and new artists making it in that mix, actuallyāperhaps Noir Zenith slowly becoming one of them too, but Mingi didnāt have to know that. My closet was to the right just as you walked in, and it was of dark and sturdy wood, expanding from the ceiling to the floor. I had a little mirror right on its right side, the wall above and behind it, going right behind the door even, littered with my favorite painterās paintings. Of course, they were only prints made at the local copy shop, but that didnāt matter. Fairy lights hung above my bed and from the lamp on the ceiling. The two nightstands on either side of my bed were more organized than one would expect from me, little makeup buckets placed on the one closest to the window, charger cable and some headphones sitting on the dark wood. The one nearest to the door had pictures of myself and my mom, and of Seulgi and I on display with a little clock, its drawer so filled with notebooks that I couldnāt quite close it. Thankfully the drawers of my desk werenāt so filled, I had just rearranged them last week, one evening when I was too restless to sleep.
Mingi was quiet as his mouth was slightly open, eyes wide as he took everything in, eyes falling onto my bed. I followed his sight and was mortified to find my biggest sketchbook open and displaying a quite realistic sketch of Mingi performing on stage. It was from the night I had a breakdown and Mingi found me in that diner. Seulgi had sent me some pictures she had taken of Wooyoung and accidentally slipped in one with Mingi too, and because the image just wouldnāt leave my mind, I knew I had no choice but to draw it. I dived for the sketchbook as if my life depended on it, all of it happening so fast I hoped Mingi didnāt actually catch what the drawingāor better said, whoāthe drawing was of. I shut it closed and pushed it off the bed, the light thud loud in the silent room. When I turned to look at Mingi, ready to face his smug face and taunting words, I was surprised to find his attention on something completely different. Of course, I shouldāve expected from a man who plays in a band to be enamored by the vintage guitar in my possession. Its body was a light blue and had cherry blossoms painted over it, something my mother admitted to doing so, which lead to an argument with her father back in the days when he had seen the ādamageā my mother had done to the pricey guitar.
āIs that a Martin D-19?ā Mingi gushed as he walked toward the guitar, mouth hanging open. My eyebrows raised at his knowledge about it upon one glance. To me, it looked like a regular acoustic guitar. But then again, I shouldāve expected it from a music major and a guy who has a literal band and plays the bass.
āYeah, it was my motherās.ā I answered as I set my mug on the nightstand and sat at the edge of my bed, watching the awed expression on Mingiās face. He had placed his mug by the foot of my desk as he crouched down, admiring the guitar from up-close.
āItās absolutely beautiful.ā Mingi whispered, fingers carefully tracing its body. Not even at gun point would I have admitted my next thought, which was of just how beautiful Mingi looked in this exact moment. Lightning flashed and the ground shook with the intense thunder, making Mingi tense for a second before he turned back to face me with the prettiest smile I have ever seen on someone.
āYour mother knows how to play it?ā He asked, sounding enthusiastic. I was breathless, but after a big gulp, I forced my brain to function.
āYeah,ā I answered with a small smile, āshe was a big rock lover back in the days, even wanted to start her own band. But due to her parents negative reactions to it, she unfortunately had to give up on that dream and do something more ārealā.ā
I rolled my eyes at the end of my sentence, not very fond of my grandparents. They werenāt bad people, but they also treated my mother harshly, and even myself, always asking about my future plans and straight up crying when I told them I wanted to become a painter. I saw the way Mingiās face hardened for a second, but I knew he didnāt want to talk about it as he became expressionless quickly after. I was curious what made his mood become sour so quickly, if he perhaps related to what I have said in some way, but I wouldnāt prod. If he wants to tell me, he will sometime. So, instead, as a distraction, I scooched up further on my bed and patted the mattress next to me with a lazy smile, watching Mingiās eyes slightly widen. He looked a little shy as he grabbed his mug and rose up to his full height, steps almost hesitant as he approached the bed, making me snort. It made Mingi narrow his eyes as I crossed my legs underneath myself as he kneeled on the bed and then settled beside me, long legs extended as he playfully wiggled his feet left and right. I chuckled as I clasped my hands together, letting them rest in my lap as Mingi took a sip of his hot chocolate. The silence was comfortable between us, the harsh rain hitting the windows loudly, wind rocking trees harshly, and the lightning and rumble a constant background noise.
āLast time when we performed at Outlaw, when you didnāt come,ā Mingi paused and turned his head to look at me, āyou know, when we met at the dinerāā
āLetās not talk about that.ā I muttered with a grimace and Mingi hummed, licking his lips.
āRight, so, that night,ā His voice was quiet, lips pulling into an abashed smile, āthe crowd was bigger than usual, at first I blamed it on being a rowdier night, but it turned out those people were there to see us, Noir Zenith, to see me.ā
I felt a small smile appear on my own lips, Mingi looking pleased with himself despite the light pink tinge of his cheeks, āAnd now Hongjoong might help us sign with a record deal, I feel like everything is finally coming together. Like my hard work is finally being rewarded.ā
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling too wide, subconsciously reaching out to hold Mingiās arm as he looked me in the eyes, āThatās so good, Mingi! You deserve all the praise and attention your band gets, youāre really good.ā
āYou really think so?ā Mingi sounded small, eyes wide in wonder as he flushed more. I knew I have said some things that werenāt the nicest, and now it made me realize that Mingi never deserved hearing those things from me. Yeah, I didnāt like the guy much at the beginningānot that now I like him moreābut I still shouldnāt have shit on his music, on something he pours his whole soul and heart into.
āI really do, Mingi.ā I slightly squeezed his arm, hoping that he could hear the sincerity in my voice as a wide and bright smile spread onto Mingiās plush lips, so contagious that I found myself with a matching smile on my own lips. I chuckled, for some reason not wanting to release his arm just yet, the knitted sweater soft and warm under my touch.
āLovely seeing you slowly turn into my number one fan, doll.ā Of course, trust Mingi to ruin the moment. My eyes narrowed as I sighed loudly, slowly shaking my head. Mingi chuckled before taking a large gulp of his not so hot anymore chocolate, eyes twinkling with mischief.
āNow, donāt get cocky.ā I rolled my eyes, pulling my hand off his arm, watching as his eyes lingered where I have touched him, āI can recognize good work without becoming your fan.ā
āWhatever helps you sleep at night,ā Mingi mused playfully and I scoffed, bumping my shoulder into his before I went to retrieve my laptop from my desk, āSeonghwa and Wooyoung want us to try out new genres.ā
āReally?ā I asked surprised as I settled back in my previous spot, knee brushing against Mingiās thigh, āLike what?ā
āWell, nothing specific, just something little softer.ā Mingi pursed his lips, fiddling with the mug in his hands, āMaybe something more indie rock.ā
āI love indie rock,ā I muttered absentmindedly as I powered on my laptop, āand why are you reluctant?ā
Mingi seemed surprised that I had caught on, but it was quite obvious in his tone that he didnāt sound very enthusiastic about it, āBecause my voice is rough and raw, unlike Seonghwaās whoās smooth and almost angelic, and Wooyoungās whoās can reach pitches I can only dream of and has a roughness that is absolutely soft at the same time, alluring.ā
āYour voice is deep and powerful, it conveys every single emotion youāre feeling when you sing, Mingi. Your raspy tone alone tells a story, even without speaking the same language I would understand what youāre singing about. But just because itās rougher and more powerful compared to Seonghwa and Wooyoungās doesnāt mean itās not beautiful and enchanting, Mingi.ā Occupied with typing in the password to my laptop, I failed to notice the way Mingiās breaths became shallow, the way his eyes bore into the side of my skull, āI think your voice is unique and desirable, you should be proud of it and not look down on yourself because of it. Many wish to have what you have, so really, donāt think any less of yourself because you think Seonghwa and Wooyoung are somehow better and more alluring. Itās not true, each one of you has their charm and wellā¦I think youāre the most charming out of the three of you.ā
I didnāt expect the expression on Mingiās face when I turned my head to look at him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were glazed over as his sharp eyes watched me intently, his breaths loud as his cheeks were red. My eyebrows furrowed, and for a second I worried I have made him angry, but the longer I looked, I realized the look in his eyes had nothing to do with anger. I gulped and averted my eyes, suddenly feeling my heart race again, biting my lower lip and trying to ignore the overbearing proximity between us. It was only our knee and thigh touching, yet it felt like Mingi was all over me, his scent still strong despite having changed out of his clothes and getting soaked by the rain. He always had a sharp scent surround him; it reminded me of pine trees.
āThank you.ā At last, Mingi found his voice and it was lower than before, goosebumps covered my skin as the low baritone of it traveled through my body. I nodded once in acknowledgement, not trusting my voice as I went on the internet to search for some movies to watch and pass the time while we wait for the storm to pass. If it passes, āDo you think rapping would fit my tone?ā
It was an unexpected question, but as I mulled over it, I concluded that Mingi had the perfect timbre to both sing and rap, āYeah, I think it would.ā
I dared to take a peek at Mingi from the corner of my eyes, and was relieved to find the intensity gone from his face, instead, a soft smile grazed his lips as he finished his hot chocolate. He leaned back and placed his empty mug next to mine on the nightstand and fished his phone out of his pocket, āI found some old videos of me at school plays, letās see what my music genius bestie thinks of them.ā
I rolled my eyes, but nevertheless peered over Mingiās shoulder in curiosity, āDonāt make fun of me, Iām merely stating something that someone with not musically trained ears hear. You should be more thankful.ā
āIām more than thankful, Y/N.ā Mingi suddenly turned his head, our faces too close for comfort, so I quickly leaned back as he placed his arm on my thigh and pressed play on a video he pulled up from his gallery.
ćDo you wanna, do you wanna own my mind, own my mind?
Do you wanna, do you wanna own my mind, own my mind?
Do you wanna know what the good, good, bad things all feel like?
Do you wanna, do you wanna own my mind, own my mind?ć
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The movie of my choice was simple, The Quiet Ones. Nothing better than something a little spooky while thereās a wild storm raging outside, but to my utter surprise, Mingi looked terrified after only ten minutes of watching it. We were both leaning against the headboard of my bed, pillows behind our backs, and laptop placed between our lower bodies as our legs were stretched out. And despite the laptop being between us, Mingiās shoulder pressed against mine not even five minutes after settling in our current spots. Trying to watch the horror movie, which was one of my favorite movieās, turned out to be a fail, and I had no choice but to give in to Mingi as he only stopped whining when he got what he wanted. And that was watching a rom-com from the nineties, called 10 Things I Hate About You. Iāve seen it numerous times already, but it never gets old. There is something about the way the actors play their parts, and the plot too, that have me coming back to it with the same enthusiasm I had for it when watching it for the first time. At first, I thought Mingi hadnāt seen it and had only went along with my suggestion because he didnāt know what else to watch, but when he started quoting Patrickās lines as if he were the character himself, I narrowed my eyes at him and poked his arm. After some painful jabs, he admitted that it was his favorite movie and he regularly rewatched it, especially if he was in a bad mood. That was a piece of information I wasnāt expecting from someone like Mingi. He looked like a guy who enjoyed tough and brutal movies, with the occasional romance movies if a pretty girl begged him to watch it together. Turns out, Mingiās favorite genre is romance, and he hates horror, and depends on the type of thriller whether he likes it or not.
We found ourselves joking and laughing throughout the movie, making our own commentary about it after our first disagreement. Which was about whether Patrick accepting the money to charm Kat was right or wrong. Of course, it was very wrong to play with someoneās feelings and get paid for it too, but Mingi argued that if he never accepted it, then him and Kat wouldāve never gotten together. And for that, I threw in the hypothetical scenario of him accepting money from Wooyoung so that he could take me out on a date and make me fall in love with him if that meant Wooyoung could have Seulgi date him. Mingiās eyebrows furrowed and he declined such scenario, exactly proving my point why this was so wrong then, but he remained believing that for Kat and Patrick it totally worked out. And then he had the audacity to compare my stubbornness to Katās, making me call him just as stupid as Patrick was.
Time flew by as our laughter got louder, completely missing the way the rain had started to quiet down as we were immersed in the movie we were watching. It felt like a bubble was wrapped around us, isolating us from the cold world, and letting us enjoy ourselves without being so cautious of what we were saying. It felt nice. I couldnāt remember a time when I was able to let loose with someone other than Seulgi. It was a nice feeling, it made me excited in some way, completely making me forget that I was doing this with Mingi. He made it too easy to forget my worries and made me feel really comfortable all of a sudden, never stepping out of lineāif we ignore his stupid flirtingāand always keeping everything lighthearted. It was a nice change for once.
I groaned as I let my head fall back, lips pursed as my ass had gone numb from sitting so much in one place. Mingi snickered as Kat reversed into Joeyās car, clearly amused by the snarky remarks exchanged between the two characters. He was clearly into the witty exchanges, especially between Patrick and Kat, even having said that it makes Kat attractive how quickly and well she can shut Patrick down. I had told him that she wouldnāt have to do that if Patrick wasnāt so stupid most of the time, making Mingi roll his eyes at me, and say that I simply didnāt appreciate some good banter. Which wasnāt even true, I liked bantering if it had a smart purpose, not just to rile each other up, what was the point of that?
I licked my lips as my head lulled to the right, eyes falling on Mingiās profile as he had his legs up, leaning forward as he hugged them around his knees with one arm. He was smiling and chuckling, pretty red lips pulled to the side, showing off his white teeth. His brows were dark, and his browbone being more prominent really sharpened his face in a very aesthetically pleasing way. Mingiās face was very beautiful, and as an artist, I couldnāt help but admire it, and recognize it. So many pretty portraits of his face could be made, pity he doesnāt model. My lips pulled into a tiny smile at the thought of him modelling for me when we had to sketch human forms for our next class. Iām sure my professor would appreciate my drawings even more. Mingiās glasses were discarded, and my eyes paused on his long nose, biting my lower lip just as Mingi chuckled again, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. He sniffed before rubbing two fingers against his plump lips, wetting them not even a second later. I gulped as I suddenly wondered what they would taste like. It was such a startling thought that I jumped, but Mingi suddenly looking at me certainly scared me more. I gulped, instantly blushing as a friendly smile painted Mingiās lips as he leaned back, placing his head on the pillow, and letting it roll to the left. Our gazes connected, and I wasnāt surprised to find my heart beating so quickly once again, my lips pulling into a straight line as I struggled to keep my breathing even. Mingiās easy smile didnāt disappear as his eyes racked over my face, it only became wider.
There was a whole galaxy behind those beautiful deep brown eyes of his, they sparkled with life and an excitement I havenāt seen in anyone before. I wished that I could recreate that in my drawings, but I wasnāt good enough to give simple eyes such deep emotions yet. And I really wished I was able to do so, because the longer I stared into Mingiās eyes, the more lost I got in them, thoughts and worries disappearing into nothingness. Mingiās hand twitched for a second and I tensed when I felt a finger gently poking my cold hand. I gulped, but I wasnāt able to look away as ever so softly more fingers brushed against my skin like feather, Mingiās bottom lip between his teeth. His actions were slow and cautious, probably afraid that I would pull away, but I was too captured by his alluring gaze to even think to move away from him. Slowly, his longer fingers intertwined with mine and his rings cut into my skin when I squeezed his hand, uncaring that it hurt a bit. I knew my cheeks were now surely very red, but I couldnāt actually be bothered to feel embarrassed, not when Mingiās cheeks were dusted pink as well. His high cheekbones were flushed the pretties color they could have been, and I smiled as Mingi blinked, looking abashed. Somehow no words had to be exchanged between us, everything felt comfortable, scarily familiar. I havenāt felt like thisā¦since my ex. And not even with him have I felt so safe and understood, it always seemed like there was some invisible barrier between us, and I never understood why. With Mingi, if I allowed myself to feel and be unafraid, no barrier lay between the two of us.
I gulped, eyes suddenly falling on Mingiās lips as his tongue poked out just slightly to wet them, his plump lips red and full. Iāve never seen a person have such full lips, and it made me wonder if they were as soft as one would imagine them be. Aware that my eyes were glued to Mingiās lips, I looked back up in his eyes, trying to ignore how insanely attractive his mole right underneath it made him look. There was something about Mingiās bareface that was so charming and beautiful that it almost made me feel jealous of it. Mingi sniffed quietly, and his bottom lip was between his teeth again as his eyes fell to my lips, my rapid heartbeat halting for a second. Could he be having similar thoughts to mine? I wouldnāt know, but when Mingiās eyes found mine again, they were just slightly more intense and sharper. Like he was determined and nothing could stop him. I gulped loudly as he moved his head, just lightly, but it was closer than before. My heart was beating like crazy, but almost as if I was under a spell, I found myself shifting my head just a little bit closer. Mingiās eyes no longer were on mine, and as my lips parted when I licked them, I felt Mingiās hand squeeze mine just a little bit more. I gulped as I proceeded to lean even closer, my eyes fixated on Mingiās lips now too, just wondering and wondering infinitely if they were warm, soft, wet, and what they would taste like. I didnāt startle nor flinch when Mingi angled his body so that he could lean dangerously close, the bridge of his nose brushing against mine. His hot breath mingled with mine as our lips were parted, a pull so magnetic I couldnāt untangle myself from it even if I tried to. My eyes threatened to flutter closed as I pressed my nose against his, the side of our lips rubbing just a little together as I couldnāt breathe regularly anymore. Mingiās lips pressed ever so slightly against the corner of mine, feather like, and it suddenly wasnāt enough. The distance, it was too bigāeven if it didnāt even exist between us anymoreāand I squeezed his hand as I angled my head to finally press our lips together, Mingiās breaths audible due to our proximity.
But suddenly, a door was slammed shut loudly, āSweetheart, I made it home finally! I saw a car parked in front of our house, allās good?!ā
The curious and shrill voice of my mother sent Mingi and I flying away from each other, both of our eyes wide as I was panting, my whole body burning. I couldnāt look at Mingi as I scrambled to press pause on the movie and Mingi was off the bed in a flash, sprinting towards my window. I could still feel his hot puffs against my face, and I gulped as I forced myself to forget everything I felt just seconds ago.
āThe rain stopped,ā Mingiās voice was hoarse, so gravely that I had to clench my fists to stop myself from doing something I would regret, āI will be going.ā
āIāll go downstairs, let my mom know youāre here.ā My voice wasnāt better off, I sounded breathless. I felt lightheaded as I got off the bed, standing and pausing for a second.
āRight, Iāll change back into my clothes and thenāā
āNo,ā I didnāt mean to sound desperate as Mingiās eyes fell on me, I had to look away in embarrassment, ākeep them, they are of no use to me.ā
āRight.ā Mingi cleared his throat and I quickly walked past him, thankful that he stepped aside, and hurried out of my room and down the stairs. I took a deep breath to compose myself as I heard my mother placing down plastic bags in the kitchen. I needed to behave like everything was fine, when nothing was fine anymore.
āHi!ā My greeting was high pitched and way too cheery, my motherās eyes narrowed when she saw me standing in the doorway, āGlad you made it home, the storm was awful.ā
āIt really was.ā My mom grimaced as she continued unpacking the groceries, āYou got home alright?ā
āYeah, uhm, actually,ā I gulped and bit my lower lip as I heard Mingi coming down the stairs, āa friend from university drove me home as it was already raining, and he, uhm, stayed over. Because the rain was so bad he wouldnāt have been able to drive home. You know, safety measures and all.ā
My mother paused and looked up at me with both of her eyebrows raised, āHe?ā
And on cue, Mingi appeared next to me, glasses pushed up on his nose adequately for once and hair not as messy as before, āHello, my name is Song Mingi.ā
āNice to meet you, dear.ā My motherās eyes were glinting, looking way too happy for someone who was just introducing themselves. I was afraid of what would come, so, I grabbed Mingiās arm and guided him towards the coat hanger.
āMingiās leaving, mom.ā I said as I let go of his arm, averting my eyes as he wore his shoes and pulled on his jacket.
āAlready?ā My mom asked with a pout, coming to stand in the doorway, āDonāt you want to stay for dinner, dear?ā
Mingi froze, eyes first finding mine before he looked at my mother with a polite smile, āDonāt worry, Mrsāā
āOh, donāt be all formal with me, I hate that shit.ā My mother chuckled and winked at him, āCall me Boyoung.ā
Mingi gulped, seemingly taken aback by my motherās behavior. I couldnāt help but chuckle quietly, knowing how surprising the contrast between my motherās personality and mine was. Sadly, I havenāt taken after her when it comes to my attitude, but thatās fine.
āWell, Boyoung, thank you for your offer, but my friends and I actually agreed on dining out tonight.ā Mingiās excuse sounded real, so I knew he wasnāt lying. I gulped when my mother threw me a very slick glare, almost saying that this was my fault. I rolled my eyes, offended by her assumption.
āThatās a pity, dear,ā My mother pouted, but soon a bright smile appeared on her lips, āBut you are invited for whenever you feel like having dinner with us, right, my starlight?ā
I tried not to glare at my mother for the outrageous nickname, especially when I saw Mingiās lips twitch in amusement. I told her not to call me that in front of others so many times, āRight, mom.ā
My mother chuckled, all too aware of my dislike for the nickname, before her eyes landed on Mingi again. There was a brief pause, one too awkward for my liking, and then Mingi was clearing his throat and opening the front door.
āUh,ā He made eye contact with me briefly, ātalk to you later.ā
āWait,ā My motherās eyebrows furrowed as Mingi stepped outside, trying to adjust the strap of his backpack, āArenāt those Yunāā
āTalk to you later!ā I loudly said, making sure to send my mother a very alarmed look as Mingi froze for a second before he hummed quietly and took off towards his car.
The air was chilly and humid due to the harsh rain, and as I closed the front door, I knew I had a lot of questions to answer when my eyes fell on my motherās amused face.
ā±ā± Next chapter
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lol, this is the surprise I mentioned...I saw this post and it would just not leave my mind, besides, I think it's very fitting for our plot, no?
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