callioscope

[callioscope]

a few days or a few months. whichever

I might not be on this site for a few days, normally I wouldn't bother announcing this but there are some very nice/well intentioned messages I want to respond to and I want people to know I'm not ignoring them, I just don't have time rn. I appreciate y'all

#same difference #lmfao #im sorry #or years? possibly years. #hi it's 2022 now and the longer I leave this up the funnier it gets

[callioscope]

I might not be on this site for a few days, normally I wouldn't bother announcing this but there are some very nice/well intentioned messages I want to respond to and I want people to know I'm not ignoring them, I just don't have time rn. I appreciate y'all

[callioscope]

The pro-fatphobia anon left a long reply in my inbox culminating in "You should direct your anger at the corporations that profit off obesity, not at normal people for knowing it's unhealthy!"

And without even getting into the claims you're making about health, and how "health" here clearly means "beauty" since working long hours, social isolation, alcohol, nicotine and being sedentary are all comparably dangerous and no one argues we should dehumanize people til they stop drinking -

Imagine having some glimmer of awareness of the ways in which people's health issues are caused by & exploited by the world around them, but somehow believing that this makes it more acceptable to mistreat those people as a result.

Also I'm perpetually disgusted by the defense every single fatphobe uses of "well it's unhealthy!"

Since when does thinking someone has health issues make it ok to be cruel to them? You are clearly just harboring a baseless hatred and trying to come up with an excuse for it. I have seen all of this before because y'all are not remotely unique. It is not ok to be cruel to people because they may have health issues. It is not ok to tell them they're disgusting because they may have health issues. It is not ok to see people with a health issue as a personification of the forces causing the issue and dehumanize them for it. Other people's bodies are none of your business.

It's disturbing how often people who have never found it difficult to maintain a socially acceptable body shape think that this makes them saviors or authorities over fat people. You are just lucky and ignorant, if you can't educate yourself and learn empathy, then at the very least mind your own business.

You are not a good person because you support making people's lives miserable to force them to change "for their own good" or something. You are a playground bully but with more sophistocated excuses. I'm tired of this

[callioscope]

How can you call yourself a radfem and be pro-porn..

Yikes

Where are you getting these things? Are you just throwing darts at a board or something?

#lmfao #maybe its like a hypothetical question and its not supposed to be about me?

[callioscope]

Don't crop out the part about how important abortion was tho

this is so crazy

[callioscope]

[callioscope]

Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It is a patient-centric call-to-action from Alyson J. McGregor, an associate professor of emergency medicine, emergency department physician, and cofounder and director for the Division of Sex and Gender in Emergency Medicine. This book is focused on giving actionable tips for women to take into their daily lives and health emergencies, by informing them of the insidious biases and trying to advise them on how to best approach and advocate for their own health.

This book included a lot of information I previously didn’t know about the bias in medicine against women. The disproportionate risk of live-threatening issues with the QT interval for women due to multiple drug interactions, for example, or the reason some generic drugs won’t work as well for women or may have more side effects. McGregor captures perfectly the anxiety and misdiagnosis cycle, the amplification risk. While her writing is sometimes very binary, it is fully rooted in the desire to clarify hormonal differences, and McGregor highlights specific issues for trans individuals as well. She also highlights religious and cultural differences that may come up in the emergency room as well as racist ideas that infect doctors’ minds, and emphasizes that a diverse workplace improves the diagnoses across the board.

This book (which, by the way, was the one I saved in my highlight on how to save wet books) gives great information on disparities and their roots, provided by an expert in her field, and rooted in the point of view of an emergency doctor with extensive personal and professional experience.

[callioscope]

[callioscope]

"My god can you read at all" *launches into a long paragraph where you bring up unrelated things, criticize things I never said, and misinterpret the small bit that you did bother to read*

So once again your reply consists of

explaining (redundantly, needlessly) why it's bad to call people transphobes for not wanting to sleep with a trans person or for asking if theyre trans - seemingly under the impression that someone here is disagreeing with you on this?

describing a situation where someone coerces someone else into sex, and failing to explain why that justifies claiming that all trans people are rapists if they don't announce that theyre trans without any indication that you need that info

repeatedly explaining why it's important to be able to revoke consent at any time. again, it seems like you are under the impression I disagree with you on this, but I have no idea why you would think that

"You are advocating for all these things" I'm not. Please show me where you got that impression. Also maybe bother to read what I actually wrote if you're going to act like you're responding to me

I also wouldn't sleep with a trans woman so idk why you keep insisting that I support them coercing people into sex. It would probably help if you tried reading what I actually said and not lecturing me about views that we evidently share

so much to unpack here

[callioscope]

"knowing full well they would reject you-" okay but how are they supposed to know? where are you getting that part from? are you implying that trans people have a duty to assume that being trans is a dealbreaker unless told otherwise? or are you inserting that bit to make it sound like someone else defending that, even though no one was?

just out of curiosity, in your opinion, if I had a bunch of one night stands with straight men in a really conservative place and didn't inform them I'm attracted to women, would that make me a rapist? since obviously lots of conservative men don't want anything to do with queer people. I also wouldn't be attracted to someone if I knew they were homophobic, and that's a fairly common deal-breaker too. So if they don't tell me they think homosexuality is a sin ahead of time, are we mutually raping each other by deception? Is this a useful definition of rape by deception in your opinion? are we both entitled to violently attack each other in retaliation?

Obvs not saying trans women deserve to die but maybe don’t rape someone w/ deception and they won’t act violently towards u? Like is that wrong to say or is that like too horrible?

[callioscope]

Most of this I've already addressed in other replies and I'm tired but I can clarify that last bit. People are claiming that a trans person who doesn't announce their abnormality is lying. I pointed out that it would be ridiculous to claim the same thing about gay people. Idk why that was confusing but I hope this makes sense.

Also I really hope you're not gonna say that gay/bi men are rapists if they don't offer their sexual history unprompted but tbh I'm afraid to get my hopes up at this point. The idea that you have a duty to guess what your partner might want to know without being told, lest you become a rapist when they choose to sleep with you...is just so immature and self-destructive as well as a horrible thing to do to your partners. There are dozens or hundreds of common personal deal-breakers that you can't possibly anticipate just by guessing. When you decide to sleep with someone, you're telling them that you have all the info you need in order to consent. If you're lying about this then idk maybe you are also committing rape by deception ? better to just not sleep with someone til you have all the info you want in order to make that choice.

so much to unpack here

[callioscope]

"It's not unreasonable to want to know" ok. one ever claimed you shouldnt try to obtain that information. I am actively encouraging you to do so. But declaring that a trans person has to read your mind and volunteer the info preemptively otherwise theyre a rapist if they let you go down on them? That's absurd and hateful. Same with the "altering your body is a LIE" argument.

I agree that lying via the way they describe themselves is possible. But I guarantee if you check the definitions those sites use, they'll say "female" refers to trans women. Also many of the site's users will want trans women to come up in that search. So it's still complicated.

so much to unpack here

[callioscope]

That's OP's point

like what is more cringe, being a 15 year old with a gender identity or being a 30 year old rudefem who bullies the 15 year old on tumblr lmao

[callioscope]

I dont have a dick but ok. Continue to think fatties are oppressed when they could just quit eating so much

I find you so repulsive. This is great logic - "fatphobia is ok because they can just not be fat!"

So it's ok to treat people horribly for having a harmless trait, as long as it would hypothetically be possible for them to obey your demands and escape the mistreatment, even if it would be grueling and difficult and likely damage their health and other aspects of their lives?

I guess classism isn't real either because poor people should just work harder and achieve higher status. If sex-change surgery ever becomes advanced enough, even misogyny will no longer be real because we can just stop being women if we put in the effort.

Plenty of women do cave to fatphobia and just stop eating. 15-20% of them never recover and die of it. Probably the majority just live their lives obsessively anxiously monitoring their bodies and calorie intake and not enjoying food, or believing they're inadequate and less worthy of humanity and respect because they need to lose weight first. Fatphobia has been a very effective patriarchal tool.

It harms all women, but fat women & girls especially are awesome and deserve much better

[callioscope]

"What are we supposed to do when we can't ask" When you can't ask?

So you want my advice for what to do when you are attracted to someone, but you fear you'll be threatened or assaulted if you ask for the info you deem necessary in order to decide if you want to sleep with them?

And your current solution is just sleep with them, hope they aren't trans, and then label them a rapist later if they are?

This all seems so absurd I just want to clarify that that's actually what you're saying??

Also your last reply kind of spirals toward the end, and it seems like you're angry at me for things you made up. Maybe someone else has told you that "forcing someone to fuck you with threats of violence and social banishment is consent," but idk why you're pretending I ever said anything even remotely similar.

Edit: So I think you're trying to bring up how TRAs demonize women for not wanting to sleep with trans people, and that makes it feel unsafe to admit to potential partners that their biological sex is a dealbreaker for you. This is misogynistic and awful and one of the many reasons I left genderist circles. It puts you in a difficult position if you want to sleep with new people, don't want to sleep with trans people, and might be harassed for being open about that.

But however fucked up that culture is, it still doesn't mean that if you decide to sleep with someone without obtaining that info, then that person becomes a rapist.

so much to unpack here

[callioscope]

men pretending women with mental illness are taken seriously while men aren't have the biggest mra victims complexes I have ever seen in my life

[callioscope]

when a trans woman says they hate drag they’re probably not talking about the history of it as an opportunity for trans women, especially twoc, to publicly celebrate their femininity. they’re talking about white cis misogynist men wearing us like a halloween costume and spitting on our heritage and getting praised by cis liberals for being “progressive”