callofftheninjas

[callofftheninjas]

Dog working on a computer while eating spaghetti.

[callofftheninjas]

[callofftheninjas]

when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck

I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off

anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received

“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”

14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking

[callofftheninjas]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[callofftheninjas]

People use intersex people as arguments against transphobes but I'm actually intersex and look like it and I only bring up the fact that I'm cis to win arguments. Its way stronger than saying intersex people exist to a bigot, they don't care. As soon as women are supposed to be a specific way, I'm simply a cis woman. What's up? Women are supposed to have hips and an ass and perky tits and no ass hair and no full beard? Weird, cuz I'm a cis woman and I definitely don't pass. Wait, you're saying I'm not a woman?? I thought you didn't want ppl to be trans, why are you forcing me out of my assigned gender???? Just because I don't want to take hormones and get electrolysis (notoriously transgender activities) doesn't mean I'm not a woman. "You should just shave" ummm shaving your face is a man activity, ma'am. Stop trying to make me act like a guy 💀

Pls note that every gendered stereotype I just listed was done so in jest to mock the hypothetical bigot I'm addressing. Millions of cis women shave their faces or get more permanent hair removal bc millions of us grow facial hair, we just aren't allowed to. Just in case this post breaks containment lmao

[callofftheninjas]

"tumblr app would like to update" you've lost that trust, wee bastard

[callofftheninjas]

I get what internet (often borderline or overt rad)feminists are trying to say with shit about how men never have to deal with x, but sooo many of the examples get shot to shit when you apply any other Man to the example than a cishet rich thin white guy.

“When have men ever had to worry about being killed for something they wore?” Black men. Gay men. Trans men.

“When have men ever been body shamed?” Fat men, balding men, disabled men.

“When have men ever had to worry about walking home at night?” Black men, gay men.

People reinvent “if men could get pregnant” over and over and when someone says “oh they do actually” it’s always viewed as hostile and not a potential intersection.

Like no, you do not have to coddle men, but men saying “hey I do know what it’s like actually” are not outright our enemy trying to center themselves, they are often extending a hand saying “hey I do get it too.”

[callofftheninjas]

[callofftheninjas]

it's mine now

[callofftheninjas]

"you're not man enough, not feminine enough"

so gender is something we can fail?

that means gender is not genetic and absolute and unchangeable

but something we can build and perform, and fail at (the standards they set) but also redefine?

if i can fail at being a woman, does that mean i'm not a woman? so does that make me another gender?

[callofftheninjas]

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

[callofftheninjas]

do you think Suki ever uses the “you burned down my village” card to get Zuko to do shit for her

[callofftheninjas]

“ooh garlic salt isn’t real” yeah well neither is your MARRIAGE after i’m done FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND and afterwards he eats my delicious cooking that i seasoned with GARLIC SALT. FUCK YOU

i think. you sent this to the wrong person. but im enamoured with your energy. you can have my metaphorical husband you deserve her

[callofftheninjas]

the fact that emily gwen lives in poverty while i can walk into target and buy unauthorized reproductions of their work is fucking disgusting frankly. corporations deserve to be hanged en masse but until we can do that for the love of g-d PLEASE keep queer money in the queer community. buy directly from queer artisans like emily, make your own pride merch if you have to, but we need to stop giving our money to rainbow capitalists who are literally, openly stealing from us already. i love target's pride section but i would rather spend $75 on a handmade flag someone actually sat and sewed out of real strips of coloured fabric so they could pay rent than $5 on a strip of screen-printed polyester that nobody got compensated for making at all.

[callofftheninjas]

[callofftheninjas]

this is for a part-time job as a barista

[callofftheninjas]

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.