canibeyourbitch

[canibeyourbitch]

*When I first started reading fan fiction for the first time* Me: Oh My God! They kissed! What am I reading?! *blushing so much* *me now* Me: oh look it’s smut *reads it all without reacting at all*

[canibeyourbitch]

WHY WOULD PORN BLOGS FOLLOW ME I’M LITERALLY KIN WITH A POPE

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

cheat code

[canibeyourbitch]

The lock is a mini knob I can’t handle this

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

[canibeyourbitch]

[canibeyourbitch]

hmm 666

6+6+6=18

18….

Obama was 18 once

very scary

not sure what this information means

[canibeyourbitch]

*refuses to look at texts* I love conversation and communication

[canibeyourbitch]

crush accidentally makes physical contact with you

[canibeyourbitch]

don’t flirt with me!! ………. i’m delicate and foolish

[canibeyourbitch]

The sexiest thing about me?

Everything hurts my feelings

[canibeyourbitch]

open roleplay

awooooooooooo :3