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captain-josslett · 3 months
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I loved this! So much!
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Kissing Booth
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captain-josslett · 7 months
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Urgh… that’s gonna be a fun process to move hundreds of files 🤣😩🫠
🚨⚠️ATTENTION FELLOW WRITERS⚠️🚨
If you use Google Docs for your writing, I highly encourage you to download your work, delete it from Google Docs, and transfer it to a different program/site, unless you want AI to start leeching off your hard work!!!
I personally have switched to Libre Office, but there are many different options. I recommend checking out r/degoogle for options.
Please reblog to spread the word!!
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captain-josslett · 1 year
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Hello me lovelies, I’m so sorry about not posting. I’ve been diagnosed with long covid and have severe fatigue and brain fog.
I’m working on getting better but it will take some time. Thank you for all your continued support ❤️
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captain-josslett · 1 year
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Why did you pick Emma as a name? Is it your name?
Nope, it’s not my name 😁
And I chose Emma because it fits with the 4 lettered names. Kara, Alex, Lena etc. I was also inspired by Emma Swan in OUAT.
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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yum
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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We Love You, But-
So, this is something a bit different today. I'm thinking of entering a LGBTQ+ competition and have written an entry. The only rules are the maximum word count is 1,000, which I did struggle with!
If you'd like to read please give me feedback, even it's a 'I liked it!'. Thank you 🥰
“We love you, but-”
When I heard those words, my world imploded.
I was born into a christian family. We went to church every Sunday and I absorbed all I was taught. I never questioned it and my faith was steadfast.
As a child I felt I was different but I didn’t know what it was. I would watch movies where the princess ‘lived happily ever after’ with her prince. I would play with my barbies and act out what I had been taught, especially by the church. You date your prince, get engaged, then marry and have babies. 
But something didn’t feel right. 
One day Ariel met Belle and I went through the usual motions. However, there was an unknown problem... 
Enter my middle brother who immediately started laughing. Explaining that marriage is between a man and a woman.
I blink and look down at Ariel and Belle who were happily in love.
I asked why and my eldest brother explained.
“Being gay is an abomination, it’s disgusting and I hate anyone who is gay!”
With horror I realised I was gay and I choked down my tears. In my child-like mind I made a promise to god that I wouldn’t be a sinner and I buried my sexuality so deep that I made myself forget about it entirely. 
I focused even more on being the best christian I could be and followed the commandments to the letter. 
Then the pastor taught how we should follow the example of Paul, who states that it is best to remain single and while I watched those around me dating, marrying and having babies, I figured god destined me to be like Paul. 
But because of this, I never experienced a crush, the excitement of a first date, the thrill of a first kiss and the joy of love.
Instead, I developed crippling depression.
This made me dive further into the church and I even attended bible college to be able to work in the church.
Then, 2020 hits.
When lockdown struck, my busy life halted. I no longer had to go to worship rehearsal, or life group, or women’s breakfast or turn up at 6am on a Sunday to help set up.
Instead, I could watch the service from the comfort of my bed, still in my pyjamas and I quite like this new setup. 
But what I hadn’t realised was the tidal wave of indoctrination I had been fed, had now stopped. For the first time in my life I was able to think for myself and not be told what I should do or who I should be.
A few months later I got a notification on my phone that Mary Setrakian was doing vocal classes on Zoom.
I jumped on the opportunity to be taught by Mary, who had starred on Broadway and has taught the likes of Broadway star, Sierra Boggess. 
I nervously entered the Zoom class and found Mary to be an amazing woman who embodies pure sunshine and love. She didn’t want anything in return, other than my full commitment to the process and to have fun.
The others in the group were some of the nicest people I had ever met. At the end of every session we’d give feedback and I would find myself openly weeping at their words of unconditional love. All they wanted was for me to let go and be me.
At first I didn’t understand what they meant. I am me… Let go of what?
I would think deeply on their words and felt something I had buried had finally cracked through the surface.
… I’m gay.
I remembered what I had done as a child and felt sick but a sense of relief when it finally clicked fully into place.
But it is now 2020! Things have changed! Right?…
“We love you, but-”
Those were the words my pastor of 10+ years said to me. He continued on that it was okay that I was gay, but I couldn’t practice it. If I did I would be removed from the worship and pastoral team and placed in a background role. That I can’t be seen on the platform in that kind of relationship.
At that moment, my world literally imploded.
When we parted ways I felt numb. The organisation that I had given my life to, that I loved with my whole being and sacrificed so much for… Decided that I couldn’t have one of the most fundamental things about being a human.
Love.
I then realised that their view of love was blinkered and narrow minded. Unlike my friends in the zoom class who accepted me without any rules of how I should live my life. 
I immediately started distancing myself from the church and tried to find myself without the tight restraints that had me bound. 
Because for all my life I had strived for people’s acceptance, approval and love. However, I was being suffocated by a toxic ‘love’ that was damaging my very core. Making me believe I was only worth something if I fitted into a ‘perfect’ mould. 
But in fact, the acceptance, approval and love I really needed? 
It was from me.
To know that I am enough and worthy of love.
When I realised this, it was like taking a breath of fresh, clean air.
I wish I could say it’s been smooth sailing, but it hasn’t. When I decided to come out and declare it to the world I mostly got positive feedback but I had a few comments made about how I was making the wrong choice… As if my sexuality was a choice.
I still struggle with moments of sinful guilt but I am finally free to be me. 
And although I haven’t been asked on a date yet, I am now open to the idea and want to be loved.
And if no one does. I now know someone who will love me, no matter what.
Me.
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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5 years later Kara is still getting coffee for (ex)catco ceos 😌
domesticorp and Lena in a suit for today
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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Broken Melody - Part Sixty One
Masterlist
Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?
Words: 7k
Warnings: Angst, fluff, emotions... the usual
Pairings: Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC
This Part: The Superfriends continue to try and help Emma and figure out the best steps forward.
Sooooo sorry for not posting in forever. I moved out to the channel islands and tried to settle into this new job.... Now I got covid! But I'm on the mend. Please let me know what you think as it does mean soooo much to me.
Remember, you are loved, you are enough and you are important.
Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.
Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @inquisitive-nix, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26
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Robyn woke up with a jump from feeling heavy licks and pressure on her torso. In the morning twilight she is able to make out Lily standing over her and feels the labrador continuously shaking her with her paws. 
“Wha? Lil?”
With a small bark Lily quickly jumps down and runs to Emma’s bed. She gives Robyn a mournful look before carefully jumping up to Emma's side.
Robyn sleepily rubs her eyes and then realises what is happening as she registers Emma’s faint groans and gasps of breath.
Stumbling to her feet, Robyn quickly moves to Emma’s side and sees Lily lying on Emma’s torso.
“Em, hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.” Robyn repeats over and over as she tries to soothe the agitated blonde.
Finally Emma’s husky groans stop and her breathing returns to some normality. Suddenly her eyes shoot open as she jerks awake.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay. You’re in Midvale, you had a nightmare. Everything is okay.” Robyn says softly, trying to reassure a clearly frightened Emma who has tears streaming down her face. “Take a deep breath for me, Em.” 
Robyn watches Emma who follows her hand motion of when to breathe and exhale.
“That’s it, you’re doing great.”
A gentle knock on the door makes them look over and J’onn quietly enters.
“Everything okay?”
“Nightmare.” Robyn responds and J’onn nods.
He walks over to Emma’s side and gently tucks a few damp hairs away from Emma’s face. “How bout we take Lily for a walk?” He offers and Emma barely nods. “I’ll go change and be right back.”
Emma watches him leave and moves to get up, she stumbles slightly and Robyn has to reach out to stop her from falling.
“Easy Em.” Robyn whispers and watches the blonde nod and sluggishly pick up her clothes from yesterday to change into. Robyn decides to do the same, figuring out she won’t be able to get back to sleep anyway.
Emma gives her a questioning look but Robyn just shrugs and follows her down to the back room where Eliza is filling two flasks with hot liquid.
“Thought you’d like some hot chocolate on your walk.” Eliza smiles lovingly at her daughter and Emma gives her a small smile back. Eliza tightly hugs her daughter, feeling worried at how her eyes aren’t as bright as they should be.
“Ready to go?” J’onn asks, holding out her coat and trainers for her. Emma nods and puts them on, she snorts at how quickly Lily’s tail wags while she waits patiently by the door. 
The trio leave and Robyn sits heavily on the stool at the island, resting her head on her fist. 
“I’m making myself a coffee, would you like one too?” 
Robyn looks tiredly up at the older blonde. “Yes please.”
Eliza begins preparing the drinks and Robyn sighs heavily as she rubs her forehead.
“Are you alright?” Eliza asks the brunette.
“Yea, I’ve just never been good at being woken up quickly. Or so early.”
“Jeremiah, Emma and Alex’s father, was the same.” Eliza chuckles and places the mug in front of Robyn and sits next to her on the other stool. “One time he got up to feed Emma but I could hear her fussing. I looked over at them and he’d fallen back to sleep with the bottle teat by the side of her mouth. Poor baby couldn’t get to it.”
“He sounds like he was a good man.” Robyn smiles at the older woman. 
“He was. He always believed in our girls.” Eliza sips her coffee.
“Must have been hard for you.” Robyn says softly, remembering the story Emma told her of her father. How she holds onto what he was like before he was captured and changed. Seeing the sadness with Eliza’s eyes, Robin decides to change the topic. “Do you have those photos of Em as a baby?”
“Of course!” Eliza chuckles and finds Emma’s photo book. “I always wanted to make sure every milestone was recorded for each of my girls.”
“Your science background is showing.” Robyn jokes as she opens the book, smiling at a toddler Alex hugging Eliza’s swollen stomach.
“I guess it is.” Eliza smiles and they continue looking through the photos. Eliza points at mostly all of them and tells Robyn the story that goes along with it. 
The first time Emma walked on her first birthday to try and follow Alex. The pride the family felt at her first word, how she quickly started singing and bouncing to music. On and on the stories go and Robyn smiles at the pride within Eliza’s eyes.
They near the end of the book and Eliza excuses herself to go get changed. Robyn continues to flick through and comes to the photo showing Emma and Lena beaming at the camera.
Robyn taps the surface of the island in time with a song on the radio while she sips her coffee. She stares at the photo and can’t help but feel torn. She knows Emma loves her family but something isn’t sitting right with the Brit. 
She hears footsteps upstairs and knows the others will be down soon to begin the next session with Alistair. 
She ponders on what else could be said as she feels a lot of the main issues have been aired. She sips her drink and wonders whether she can air her thoughts about a certain raven haired woman.
“Good morning.” Lena says politely while cautiously entering the room to the coffee machine.
“Morning.” Robyn utters back coolly, causing Lena to turn and gaze at her.
“You don’t like me do you?”
“No shit Sherlock.” Robyn sasses and Lena’s shoulders deflate and turns back to the coffee machine. Robyn frowns at this sign of weakness being shown by the CEO. 
“I completely understand, I would feel the same way if I was in your position.” Lena starts the machine and leans against the kitchen counter.
“Well, let’s hope you never have to be in a position like this.” Robyn growls and taps the cup in her hands. “To see someone you love believe she is worth nothing, that something is so wrong with her that she doesn’t deserve love. That she questions every interaction she has and shuts down when things get too much.”
Lena lowers her head but before she can respond some of the others enter the room.
“Everything okay?” Kara asks and makes a beeline for Lena.
“Yup.” Robyn says, emphasising the end of the word and stands to go over to Lucy who is patting the cushion next to her for Robyn to sit on.
Kara places a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder as she looks in concern at Lena’s sad face. “Is she upsetting you?”
Lena shakes her head but Kara wraps her arms around her anyway. They hug and Lena buries her head into Kara’s shoulder. 
“Okay everyone, please gather around.” Alistair says, grabbing everyone’s attention.
Kara and Lena break apart, Kara takes her best friend’s hand and leads Lena to the circle of chairs. “Where’s Emma?” Kara asks with a frown as she notices her sister’s absence. 
“She’s taken Lily for a walk.” Robyn explains and see’s Alex tense up. “J’onn went with her.” She quickly explains and Alex nods in appreciation for the information.
Movement outside the door catches everyone’s attention and a knock echoes around the room. Kara zips over and opens it.
“Agent Reiff?” 
“Good morning, may I come in?”
“Oh, yes, please.” Kara steps aside and the agent enters.
“Director.” Agent Reiff nods at Alex who approaches quickly.
“What’s going on?” Lucy asks as she looks between the two. Alex motions for Reiff to continue.
“We managed to do the clean up before the news crews got there, made the site look as if the storm caused the mudslide rather than a boulder breaking cleanly in half. Agent Vasquez wanted me to show you this.” Reiff pulls out a tablet and holds it out for Alex.
The redhead takes it and swipes through the photos. The Danvers crinkle making an appearance on her face.
“Alex?” Eliza asks in concern.
“How many?”
“We estimate roughly six bottles or more.” Agent Reiff answers quietly, aware how delicate this information may be.
Alex sighs lightly. “And the contents?”
“Alien alcohol.”
“Shit.” Alex mutters. “Okay, thank you. Have agents continue to monitor and patrol the area. We will review when we are back at the DEO.”
Agent Reiff nods and Alex hands back the tablet. She stares ahead for a moment, deep in thought while the agent heads back out of the house.
“Alex?” Sam gets up and heads over to her fiance, clearly seeing that Alex was getting more and more agitated. “You okay?”
Shaking her head Alex marches out of the room and up the stairs.
“She’s going to find the rest of the bottles.” Alistair explains to the group, immediately causing Kara and Sam to run after the redhead.
“But Emma won’t like Alex going through her things.” Lena says with wide eyes and quickly follows them. She rushes up the stairs and hears Kara and Alex arguing.
“-calmly ask her about it!”
“Kara! Let go of me!” Alex snaps as Lena stands in the doorway. She pauses at the sight of the opened suitcase on the floor full of empty bottles and Kara firmly holding onto Alex.
“No! Not until you’ve calmed down.” Kara says determinedly. “We are trying to help her, not shame her or cause more friction.”
Sam steps forward and tenderly moves Alex’s hair out of her eyes. “I understand why you would be upset by this, but Kara is right.”
The stairs creak and Lena’s head spins to see who it is. Emma stares back at Lena in confusion and Lena’s stomach drops.
“She’s here.” Lena calls and the trio freeze. Emma hesitantly approaches her ex, and looks into her room. Her eyes immediately land on the suitcase of bottles and she swallows deeply. 
Her chest stings with hurt at witnessing her things being rummaged through and her shame burns her cheeks. However, she takes a deep breath and steps into the room, kneels down and zips the suitcase back up. 
“Little one?” Kara queries, still holding onto Alex who had remained frozen, her chest still heaving slightly from her outburst.
Emma straightens up and lifts the suitcase by the handle. The unmistakable rattling of empty bottles fills the silence and Emma motions with her head for them to follow her downstairs.
The four women follow the blonde into the back room where Emma lifts the suitcase onto the coffee table and opens it, revealing it to be packed with mostly empty bottles.
Emma lowers her head and moves to her seat where Lily is already waiting for her. The dog’s tail starts pounding against the sofa, Emma gives her a small smile and sits. Making Lily immediately place her head on her lap and snuggles in. Emma yawns and rubs her eyes, clear fatigue is etched on her face. 
“Good morning Emma.” Alistair softly greets her and Emma echoes his welcome back in her mind.
“Would anyone like a drink before we start?” Eliza offers, noticing Emma didn’t have one. “Sweetheart?”
Emma’s tired eyes lift up to hers and she nods.
“She would like an apple juice, please.” Fay answers for Emma and she signs her thanks.
Emma settles back and closes her eyes while she strokes Lily’s fur. She tries to block out the different conversations happening around the room but it’s difficult. Her mind races with shame with what the others must think and how she is going to explain herself.
“Here you go sweetheart.” 
Emma opens her eyes and takes the glass of cool apple juice from her mom, nodding her thanks. 
She sips the tangy liquid and glances over at J’onn. He nods encouragingly at her and she takes a deep breath in to calm herself. 
They mostly walked in silence, enjoying each other’s company but they had also discussed how yesterday had gone and how they were both feeling. They even sensed how today’s session could be harder than the previous one, causing J’onn to vow to support her, whatever happens.
“So, are we all ready?” Alistair draws everyone’s attention and they stop their conversations. Alistair waits for them to settle before talking again. “Before we discuss what is in front of us, Fay and I were both able to detect you were all holding back yesterday. Which is understandable, however, this is a safe place where no judgement should be passed.” He glances around the room and everyone nods before focusing on Emma. “Emma, would you like to explain about the bottles?”
‘Do I have to?’ Her mind asks apprehensively.
“We won’t force you.” Alistair responds and Emma shifts in her seat, feeling uneasy.
‘No, I need to.’ Emma sighs heavily and looks up at the ceiling. Unable to look anyone in the eye. Lily sits up and watches her carefully, her head tilting to the side in concentration. ‘I started drinking after the breakup with Lena. A few here and there at Robyn’s, then when I went to Europe I had a glass with each meal. But it then slowly increased over time and I found myself having more and more. A glass became two, to half a bottle, to a full bottle, to many bottles. I can see now it’s developed into a problem and I’m sorry. I know you guys are being sober but it was like an itch I needed to scratch. It would help numb what I was feeling, so I’d have a bottle or two in the evening after everyone went to bed. I’m sorry.’
Emma scrunches up her eyes and feels Lily nuzzling her nose into her cheek, sensing her distress.
“Sweetheart? Can you please look at us?” Her Mom’s voice breaks, causing Emma to lower her head and slowly open her eyes. But instead of looks of shame or disgust, she sees expressions of compassion and understanding on everyone’s faces.
Emma’s worried eyes focus on Alex’s. She notices how troubled her sister looks. She tilts her head, asking Alex to voice her thoughts.
“Alex?” Fay voices out.
Alex bites her lips before finally talking. “I understand how easy it is to use alcohol as a means to run away from your emotions. But, we can help you overcome it.”
“If you want.” Kara adds quickly but Emma is already nodding.
“I’m also sorry that I searched for the bottles instead of asking you, I just-” Alex’s face is overcome with emotion and she sighs heavily. 
‘It’s okay.’ Emma thinks and Alex sniffs. 
“Due to the nature of the group we have sponsors within the DEO and meet separately. Lena and Alex suggested it and we all started together.” J’onn reiterates what he explained to her on their walk and Emma nods.
The room is quiet for a moment and Robyn lifts her hand. “Question.”
“Yes Robyn?” Alistair asks.
“How did the whole sobriety thing start? From what Emma told me, you all like your drink.” 
Lena fidgets in her seat and plays with her hands. She looks timedly over at Alex, who seems to be silently communicating with her.
“Well, if you must know.” Alex begins telling Robyn and the others exactly what happened.
— — —
It has been over a month since Emma disappeared and Alex is sitting on her sofa in Sam’s apartment and nursing her fourth whiskey. She stares mournfully at her laptop on the coffee table. Despite her Mom telling her not to, Alex keeps trying to hack Emma’s devices to find her sister’s location.
“Where are you?” Alex whispers and takes a sip of her drink. Feeling the burn slide down her throat and course through her system.
The results ping up, making Alex feel a surge of hope. But the hope quickly drops when they show the word she is dreading: Inconclusive. 
“Fuck sake.” Alex slurs out and slams the lid of her laptop down. She flops back onto the sofa and downs her drink. Tears prick at her eyes and she presses her lips together. Her gaze falls on the collage of photos on the wall, the beaming smiles of her family and friends. Her eyes land on Lena, pressed up against Emma and beaming at the camera. Alex’s blood starts to boil.
Without much thought Alex angrily stumbles to her feet and grabs her jacket. She hops on the spot to get her boots on but manages in the end. Alex storms from the apartment and punches the call button on the elevator. She taps her foot impatiently until she's down in the lobby where she's stomp outside to hail a cab. In no time she’s in front of Lena’s apartment and she raises her fist to pound on the door.
But the raven haired woman doesn’t answer, making Alex grumble and seethe as she can clearly see the glow of the lights coming from within the apartment.
“Hope, let me in.” Alex orders.
“I do not believe that is wise due to your heightened level of-”
“Hope, please.” Alex snaps and hears the whirl of the locks. The redhead quickly opens the door and searches for her sister’s ex. 
Alex can’t help but notice Emma’s things still placed around the apartment. Her paintings, notebooks, instruments, clothes...
But what she can’t find is Lena, until she turns to the bedroom and notices the door is closed. Rolling her eyes she storms over but before she slams open the door, she hears Lena sobbing through it. 
Her eyebrows furrow tightly. ‘Why is she crying?’
Sighing heavily, Alex knocks on the door and enters. The room is dimly lit and she spots Lena’s head poking above the bed, sitting on the ground next to what was Emma’s side.
Alex stumbles around the bed and makes her presence known by clearing her throat. She can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the raven haired woman as she jumps and stares wide eyed up at her.
“Alex?” Lena squeaks out, which Alex would have found funny if her emotions weren’t raging inside her.
“You broke her. I told you what would happen if you ever hurt her.” Alex grits out, she watches as Lena’s face crumbles and she lowers her head.
“I know.” Lena sobs out and clutches something close to her chest. 
Alex slowly kneels down to face the distraught CEO. She frowns and notices the almost empty bottle of Scotch next to Lena. “What’s wrong? Why are you so upset? You are the one that ended it.”
Lena shakes her head. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” 
But Lena just keeps shaking her head.
“Lena.” Alex places a hand on Lena’s shoulder, concern seemingly replacing her anger.
Slowly Lena holds her clenched fist out and opens her hand. 
Revealing a ring with an emerald diamond.
Alex stares at it, dumbfounded. 
“You- you didn’t know?” Lena hiccups as her bloodshot eyes study Alex’s reaction.
Alex shakes her head, unable to speak.
‘When was Emma going to tell me she wanted to propose?’ Her mind races as she tries to pinpoint any conversations she had with her baby sister but comes up blank.
“Where was it?” Alex asks softly.
“In her drawer.”
“Why were you looking?!”
“I was going to start moving her things out and I-” Lena says but her throat closes up with emotion and her head drops forward. More tears pour from her eyes and she clutches at the ring again. “I should die because of what I did.”
“Wow! Hey! No!” Alex says sharply, causing Lena to flinch when she grabs her shoulders. “Lena, look at me.”
Slowly Lena raises her head and stares sorrowfully at Alex.
“Yes I am really angry at you.” Alex grits out and lets out a deep breath. “But you aren’t solely to blame for Emma leaving.” 
Lena shakes her head and starts to sob again, despite trying to hold them in.
Alex pulls her friend into a hug and knows there must be more that Lena isn’t saying. 
But for now, Alex just holds her.
— — —
“Then Sam and Kara came over and we stayed with Lena that night. In the morning we both had killer hangovers and decided to be sober. Once we told everyone they joined us too.”
Robyn nods and Emma sniffs heavily. She wipes a tear away, hating the thought of how low Lena got.
“But?” Fay prompts Robyn, who does look like she wants to ask another question.
“Why are you all so chummy with Luthor when she broke Emma’s heart?” Robyn glares around the room. “Why not leave her alone after that?”
“Lena.” Fay says quickly and glances over at Emma, who’s looking irritatedly at Robyn. “Her name is Lena.”
Robyn sighs and juts her jaw to the side. “Okay, sorry. I’d like to know why Lena is still a part of your friendship group.” 
“She’s one of us.” Kara says softly. “Despite what she did, we forgave her.”
Others in the group nod and a tear slides down Lena’s cheek that she quickly wipes away. 
But Robyn’s frown deepens.
“I really wanted to hate her.” Alex admits darkly. “I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but then I saw how broken she was and in a worse state than me. In the end, I just couldn't hate her.”
Lena sniffs. “I know I don’t deserve the love and support they give me.”
Kara reaches out and takes Lena’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of support.
Emma watches and feels a pang of hurt hit her chest, but she quickly pushes it away.
“Robyn?” Alistair asks. “Do you have something else to say?” He nods, giving her permission to voice the seething thoughts in her mind.
“I still don’t understand.” The brunette says cautiously. “What about Emma?”
The Superfriends frown at the question, some even looking over at the blonde.
“What about her?” Winn asks.
“She’s one of you right?” Robyn shoots back.
“Of course!” Nia responds, shocked that Robyn would even need to ask that.  
“So where were you when she needed you?” 
“Robyn.” Fay utters as Emma tries to get her attention.
“No, they need to know what you did when you came to mine.” Robyn says fiercely, her fury mounting. “She spent weeks in bed and I had to prompt her to eat, to shower and take care of herself. When I finally got her up and out of the flat her clothes were loose on her.” Robyn seethes, glaring at the group. “And do you know what she communicated to me when I asked how she was? That she was okay if she didn’t think about it. That when she does she feels like she can’t breathe and it’s just too painful.”
Emma slumps forward slightly and rubs a shaved part of her hair to try and self soothe. She understands what Robyn is doing but she still feels awkward. Lily nuzzles into her, keeping pressure on her side and keeping Emma grounded while she continues to listen.
“I spent hours holding her as she cried over you guys, how you treated her and made her feel worthless. I tried to tell her you all loved her, but I’m not so sure.”
“What?!” Kara yells in anger.
“Where were you? When she needed you guys after everything that had happened? The cancelled sister nights, or games night or whatever you all do! You let her down! But then when she left you all rallied around Lena!”
“No we didn’t!” Nia tries to fight back, remembering how she had felt awkward towards Lena for weeks. Unsure where the line was and if they were taking sides but Robyn gives her a scathing look before she can explain that.
“It sure looks that way! I’ve been watching all of you and you treat her like she hasn’t done anything wrong! That she didn’t break Emma’s heart and make her believe it was all an illusion! From where I’m standing it makes it look like you’ve chosen Lena over Emma!”
“Robyn!” Emma’s husky voice barks out but she immediately starts coughing and wheezing. Causing the heated argument to pause while Emma tries to get a hold of her breathing again.
Eliza quickly gets a glass of cool water for her daughter. “Here you go Sweetheart.” 
Emma takes it and signs her thanks before taking a few sips. There is a palpable tension in the air and she quickly tries to gather her thoughts. ‘I’m okay.’ 
“Thank you Robyn for your honesty.” Alistair nods in appreciation and sits up in his chair. “Emma? Would you like to respond?”
Emma nods and taps the glass while she continues to think.
The Superfriends wait anxiously and she can tell her sisters want to jump in.
‘I’m torn.’ Emma takes a deep breath in and closes her eyes. ‘I’m not going to lie and say this hasn’t affected me. I was relieved when Mom told me that Lena was still part of the group. But there was a part of me that felt disappointment. But as Kara said, Lena is one of us and I wouldn’t have expected anything less.’
Emma takes a few more sips and her eyes meet Robyn’s. 
‘Thank you for standing up for me, I respect your opinion but it was also slightly unfair with what you said. You knew I ran away and made it impossible for them to find me. I understand how it looks, believe me. But, I also don’t believe it’s as easy as that. I mean, your balcony doors and walls took a huge beating from Kara when she tried to find me.’
Robyn opens her mouth but Emma motions she wasn’t finished.
‘I understand what happened made you dislike Lena. How broken I was and thank you so much for being there for me. But you need to understand how deeply I still feel for her, despite what she did. But I know I need to work on myself too. That I need to repair the bridges I broke-’
“No!” Alex interrupts causing Emma’s eyes to snap to hers. “We all caused the damage. As Alistair said yesterday, we all need to work together.” She glances over at Robyn. “But we all need to be honest with each other too.” Alex hesitates and focuses back on her baby sister. “Like, when I saw you in that music video-”
— — —
The Superfriends were gathered around Kara’s coffee table for a games night. To start with they decided on playing Jenga while they waited for the pizza to arrive. 
The tv was on in the background as Alex wanted to watch the news while Lena was currently trying to get a block out, her eyes were focused in concentration.
“You always go for the precarious ones!” Kara laughs.
“That’s what makes it more fun.” Lena says cheekily and grins at her.
But then her heart drops as she looks past Kara and sees Emma on the tv screen.
The tower immediately falls.
“Jenga!” Kara and the others yell. 
But Sam grows concerned at her best friend’s pale face. “Lena?” She also turns to look at the tv and immediately unmutes it, causing everyone to gaze at it.
“-believed to be in London, although sources haven’t been able to confirm this. The music video, which shows Emma Danvers lip syncing, is believed to have been filmed in Egypt and was released at midnight UK time. Already we are seeing an outpouring of positive responses and speculation about who the song is about, which, I believe we can all take a guess at. Back to you in the studio.”
Alex quickly takes the remote and logs into YouTube to find the video. It doesn’t take her long due to it already being at the top of the most viewed list. She frowns at seeing the name of the song, ‘Perfect Illusion.’
The video starts playing and the sound of synths begin. 
The camera zooms in on a blonde’s back as they stare out at the barren, white desert in front of them. Even from behind angle the Superfriends can tell it’s Emma.
The camera swivels around and focuses on Emma’s stoic expression.
Alex leans forward as she studies her sister’s face. Kara curls into Ben, hating the broken look in her sister’s hazel eyes.
Emma starts lip syncing perfectly to Robyn’s voice, something that is a bit jarring to everyone. To hear another voice timed with Emma’s lips.
Soon different camera angles flash up on the screen showing Emma stomping and kicking up the white sand around her as she continues to lip sync and perform. The sky continues to shift from a brilliant blue to the colours of sunset.
Lena stays frigid as she watches and listens to the lyrics. When the chorus begins, it breaks her heart in two.
‘It wasn’t love, it wasn’t love
It was a Perfect Illusion.’
The raven haired woman tries to hold it together but her eyes fill with unwanted tears and a lump forms in her throat. 
When the song reaches the second verse the other members of the band are shown within the circular rig and moments of them playing in the warehouse too.
“I knew she was with them!” Lucy says exasperatedly and digs for her phone in her pocket while continuing to watch. 
The second chorus hits and Emma is brokenly staring into the camera with tears streaming down her face. Her passion radiates from the screen.
“Wow.” Ben whispers out, feeling his heart being tugged at the utter pain being portrayed in Emma’s eyes.
Kara sniffs in his arms, wanting to bury her face into them but her eyes are fixed on her sister.
While the chorus proceeds, Emma lip syncs next to the band members, the camera angles tilt, representing her heartbreak and used to make the viewer feel uncomfortable with her.
The song builds and builds until the key change hits. At that exact moment Emma swings the baseball bat, bearing the words ‘FUCK YOU!’ at the camera where it switches to show her hitting a car and denting it like the metal was nothing. Glass explodes around her as Robyn’s vocals increase.
Alex lets out a slow breath as she watches the destruction happening on the screen.
“Super strength?” Brainy asks and Alex nods.
They watch as plates and glasses go flying and crash against the walls. Showing each member giving into their rage.
The final chorus begins and the intensity on the screen almost becomes overwhelming as the scene changes with flashes of light.
But near the end it shifts again and focuses back on Emma by an edge of a cliff. The sapphire sky is a stark contrast against the white of the sand. 
As soon as Robyn utters the last words Emma falls heavily and rolls into the sand. Her face is pained as she voicelessly screams and sobs in the barren, white desert.
The music ends and the camera pans upwards towards the sapphire sky, the sound of Emma’s anguished breathing fills the room and the video ends.
The Superfriends don’t move or say anything, but continue to stare at the tv.
The silence is broken as Lena sniffs heavily and lowers her head into her hands. Her tears slip from her eyes and her curly hair shields her face from the others.
“Lee.” Sam utters quietly and slides off the sofa to comfort the raven haired woman. 
Anguished muffled words sound out from Lena’s hands.
“What was that?”
Lena lowers her hands. “I did that to her.” She chokes out and a sob breaks through. Immediately Sam pulls her into a hug.
“I don’t think it was just aimed at you.” Alex says softly while she continues to stare at the TV. “We need to find her and fast.”
The others nod around her and the notion of a games night and pizza is forgotten as they race to the DEO.
— — —
“Then we searched through footage around London, trying to find a hint of you.” Alex explains, her eyes shining with tears.
‘That’s why you all appeared so quickly?’ Fay voices Emma’s question.
“Yes.” Brainy responds. “We were monitoring every security camera by major attractions.” 
“As soon as the bus crashed through the barriers we suited up.” Nia explains and Emma nods.
Her eyes fall on Lena who seems fixated with her hands.
“So, question.” Robyn raises her hand again and glances at Lucy. “If you knew she was with me then-”
“Well, it was more of a hunch and you can’t plant bugs in someone’s home on a hunch.” Lucy shrugs and winks at the singer.
“Noted.” Robyn says softly. “But why not pursue it?”
Lucy swallows and her eyes flick over to Emma’s. “I wanted to. Believe me I wanted to catch the next flight to London, but I knew Emma needed time and I wanted her to come back on her own.”
Emma nods and signs her thanks to her friend.
“And Robyn, are you happy with their explanation about Lena?” Alistair asks and Robyn purses her lips forward.
“I guess. I mean if anything like that happened within my band, and we are as close knit as you guys, then yea. Happy, no, but I understand.”
“Good.” Alistair nods and gives Robyn a warm smile. “Are there any other questions relating to what has been said?” Alistair asks, opening the space to the group.
“I have one.” Kara says quietly and Alistair motions for her to continue. The blonde focuses on Emma, who can tell her sister doesn’t want to ask what is in her mind.
“It is okay.” Emma signs reassuringly. 
“Did, I mean, were those words-” Kara says quickly but falters and goes to fiddle with her glasses. However they weren’t there as she had forgotten she hadn’t put them on today, so she ran them through her hair.
‘Did I mean them?’ Emma tilts her head, finishing Kara’s sentence for her.
“Yea.”
The room holds their breath, waiting for Emma’s answer.
‘I did.’
Everyone’s shoulders deflate other than Robyn, Alistair and Fay.
‘But that’s what art is.’ Emma tries to explain. ‘At that moment I was angry, hurt, upset and I needed to express it. The words and melody came quickly and before I knew it the song was there.’ Emma glances over at Robyn who nods, remembering how Emma’s pencil flew across the paper while she wrote the lyrics.
“It came from her heart.” Robyn says softly, focusing everyone’s attention on her. “Music is generally the same notes over and over, but it’s what you have to say that counts. And Emma chose to play out her pain.”
‘It’s just a moment in time.’ Emma adds.
“But do you still feel the same way?” Kara asks hesitantly and Emma pauses. Her eyes find Lena again, who slowly raises her head to watch Emma’s answer. She freezes when her apprehensive eyes connect with Emma’s.
‘I want to say no, but I’d be lying to you.’
“Which Emma is allowed to feel.” Alistair quickly interjects, feeling the build up of confusion and hurt in the room.
“How can we move forward and help you see we were wrong?” Sam asks while holding Alex’s hand.
Emma shrugs, unsure herself.
“May I offer a few suggestions?” Alistair injects and Emm nods. “You all experienced trauma that day, not just Emma. I believe doing group exercises, your film and game nights will help. Also-” Alistair pauses as he looks between the sisters. “You don’t need to do this right away, but Eliza told me the apartment where the attack happened is still empty. When you three feel ready, it might give you some healing to go back and make peace with what happened.” His eyes focus on Alex in particular who shifts in her seat.
The sisters nod in unison.
The rest of the session goes by quickly and soon the sun has set. They finish and say their goodbyes to the couple, offering for Lily to stay with Emma to help her heal.
“She has taken a great liking to you.” Fay smiles widely after hugging Emma. “See you soon.”
Emma waves goodbye and goes back into the house to eat dinner with her family with Lily staying close by her side. 
The atmosphere is relaxed and the group joke and laugh as they eat. Afterwards the group decides to go down to the beach and build a bonfire to enjoy the crystal clear night. They sit and roast marshmallows while drinking rich hot chocolate. 
Emma is listening to Winn, Kara, Lena and Brainy debate something sciency, but she cannot keep up with their discussion. However, she enjoys how passionate they are when trying to support their theory. Even if Winn gets overly exasperated to the point Ayla has to pull him back.
Emma grins and takes the last gulp of her drink before getting up.
“You okay?” Nia asks and Emma nods, motioning she is going to the water.
She stands by the water’s edge as it gently laps against the sand and takes a deep breath. Finally feeling like things could, possibly, get back to some normality. Although she still felt apprehensive about what the future could hold and whether things could repeat themselves again.
‘I AM YOUR DOOM!’
Emma flinches and frowns slightly at the monstrous voice that plays out in her mind and she remembers her dream from this morning. The same grotesque monster that demolished National City. But this time, it had destroyed her family as well.
Emma shivers at the memory, her sisters covered in blood, eyes fully dilated, staring at nothing. It had felt so real and she can’t help but feel a sense of dread.
“Hey.” Two voices greet her, making Emma jump out of her skin and slip on the sand. 
“Wow!” Alex and Kara grab a hold of her to steady her footing.
“You okay?” Kara asks in concern and Emma nods, running a hand through her hair.
“We can go if-” Alex starts to say but Emma firmly shakes her head and pulls her sisters into a group hug.
They tightly hold onto each other and Emma places a kiss on their heads. Still not used to the new height difference.
“I love you.” She whispers, causing both of her sisters to tear up and Alex to lower her head.
“Love you too.” Kara responds back and sucks in her bottom lip. “Can I ask you something?”
Emma nods and Kara steps out of the hug while Alex clings to Emma, who rests her head against Alex’s.
“So, you said you still feel the same way? That it was an illusion?” Kara shuffles on her feet, worried about the answer Emma will give.
Emma takes a deep intake of breath and straightens up, allowing Alex to look at her.
She swallows and feels her throat, wanting to voice her words rather than sign them.
“I still feel- disappointed.” Emma whispers out and coughs. Kara superspeeds to grab a bottle of water and hands it to her. Emma nods her thanks and takes a few sips before continuing. “I needed you both and you weren’t there but you were for Lena.”
“I can see how that looks.” Alex says softly and steps back but keeps ahold of Emma’s hand. Seeing this, Kara takes the other. “I can’t say anything other than I’m sorry.” Alex begins. “You are my sister and you mean the world to me. I would never choose anyone over you and I’m sorry it felt that way.”
Kara nods in agreement. “Yea, I’m sorry.” Kara agrees. “But our love for you has never been an illusion. You’re our sister and we love you no matter what.”
Emma sniffs and her sisters pull her into another hug before they start heading back to the group. 
“Oh and Mom wants to know your thoughts about New Years tomorrow.” Alex asks and Emma gazes at her questionaly. “If you wanna go to the party or stay at home.”
“Am I expected?” Emma asks and the sisters share a look, which Emma catches.
“Well the town knows you are here-” Kara begins and Emma nods.
“We can always go for a bit and come home.”
“Good plan.” Alex nods and squeezes her shoulder before they separate. Alex heads for Sam and Ruby roasting marshmallows and Kara goes over to Ben who is joking with Eliza.
Emma approaches Robyn, who hands Emma her new guitar to play. Emma grins and sits on a blanket, she softly strums the guitar while listening to the conversations around her. In time she stares into the fire and her eyes become unfocused and distant as she watches the dancing flame. 
“May I sit here?”
A velvet voice says next to her, causing Emma to blink and look up to see Lena standing there with two steaming mugs.
Emma nods and passes the guitar back to Robyn, who gazes at Lena with less animosity than she had done. 
Lena kneels down and hands her one of the mugs.
“It always amazes me how beautiful you make music sound.” Lena utters while making herself more comfortable.
Emma gives her a small smile and takes a sip of the hot chocolate. A moan escapes her lips from the velvety taste, making Lena smile and chuckle. 
“I agree it’s good.” Lena takes a sip of her own before lowering her mug to her lap. “Can I tell you something?”
Emma nods and sits so she is facing Lena more.
Lena takes in a nervous, deep breath. “I understand your process of writing songs. You write from the depths of your soul and are able to connect with others. But please know, my love for you, it wasn’t an illusion. I just wanted you to know that.”
Emma lowers her head for a moment, unsure how she can respond to that.
Placing her mug on the ground she goes to sign.
“You broke my heart.”
“I know and I will regret it for the rest of my life. If I could go back and change it, I would. But I can’t. All I can do now is try to support you the best way I can. If you’ll let me?”
Emma nods slowly. “Maybe we can rebuild our friendship?” Her eyes fall to Lena's chest, where the ring sits, hidden by the raven haired beauties clothes.
“I’d like that.” Lena gives her a small smile and the pair focus on the fire in front of them. Content to sit in silence while laughter and jokes sound around them.
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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I love how my name is Emma, and that's the characters name for your supergirl stories! I might go read them now. oi have a good day :D
Aww I love the name Emma! Rolls off the tongue so well! I hope you enjoy them! I've got bad writers block atm but hopefully I can try to start writing again soon.
Hope you have a good day too!
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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And how your writing brings a smile to mine and many others (no pressure or anything! Plz take care of yourself first always). Take care ❤️ (2/2)
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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Hi there!! It’s been a lil while so I wanted to ask if your doing okay, I hope things are going well for you. Writers block can SUCK, and I hope that’s all this is. Just wanted to remind you how appreciated you are (1/2)
Hello! Yes major writings block atm!
I’ve also moved out to Guernsey and started a new job. So my body is crying out in pain atm 😅 but I have been daydreaming.
And thank you so much ❤️ I really needed to see that
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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Life Update
Hello! So sorry for the lack of updates on Broken Melody. I have written a bit but I hit writers block again.
I am going through some difficult times atm and looking at doing a seasonal job in the Channel Islands. So hopefully I can start writing again.
Thank you for all your support! ❤️
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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💝 - Love seeing you on my dash
Dawww, thank you! Whoever you are! ❤️ Really made my day
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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Cause why not!
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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Send me hearts
💖 - I admire you
💓 - You give me feels
💜 - You’re intimidating
💌  - We should talk more
💟 - How are you so cute
💝 - Love seeing you on my dash
💗 - I miss interacting with you
💞 - You’re amazing at ______
💘  - I’m crushing on you
💕  - I ship you with ______ 
♥ - You make me uncomfortable
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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this is so good!
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When u play around with portals and get lost in time for a bit.
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captain-josslett · 2 years
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this. is. so. good
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Some sketchbook fun
_____
twitter in case this gets yeeted
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