captainbackfat

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one of the great texts of the modern era

#‘sexy part of Canada’ always gets me #queue

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i find it kind of peak. i find it kind of mid. the dreams in which i’m so back are the dreams in which im cringe

#queue

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#lmaooooo #elden ring

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The thing about standing ovations is that they are like after care for actors: it’s ok that you dressed up and played pretend for two hours! Everyone liked it! No one thought it was weird!

#can confirm #they love that shit #actors thrive on attention and approval #not unlike Labrador retrievers

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#ME #i will tell you about cults for hours #and I know the death toll of an uncomfortable amount of natural disasters #I don’t even have autism

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hope all my organs see sunlight one day. they earned it.

#queue

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Malenias

#wife wife wife #i love her so much #elden ring

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Even more Malenias

#ohhhh I love this interpretation of her #love that facial structure and those eyes #my wife so pretty #elden ring

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Her Faithful Knight

Prints available on Inprnt

#the girls!!! #elden ring

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But babe you love being gaslit

#queue

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boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever

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JERKING

OFF

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I know this is a niche one but I can’t get it out of my head.

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My mans been acting up lately. Should I get pregnant with him and abort the baby as protest?

im at work

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the snail

#queue

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WORLD WAS GONNA END IN 2012 BUT 2 YEARS LATER STILL MASTURJACKING MY MEATUMS WHO IS FUCKIN WITH ME?

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why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

#queue #classic