cardboardwhale

[cardboardwhale]

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

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You can make a post that's like "I'm cooking peppers tonight" and somebody on here will reblog it like #cooking #peppers #bell peppers #cuisine #dinner

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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

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A guy/horror creature licked a gun like it was a knife before shooting someone.

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I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

[cardboardwhale]

supernatural is either a groundbreaking concept with terrible execution or a terrible concept with groundbreaking execution

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I am so proud to say that my college is so LGBT friendly, that in a survey Res Life put out they forgot to include straight people.

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"I could fix her" "I could make her worse" Well I could take her to build a bear

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Knowledge is empowering

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miss swift you are not a tortured poet you are a billionaire

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I just got a call back about a job that, I can not stress this enough, I applied to in 2017.