- Make sure the place where you’re going is accessible! Your date might opt to use a wheelchair that day, and if they’re using a cane, best to make sure there aren’t a silly number of stairs involved in whatever date you’re considering.
- Call ahead to the place to see if wheelchairs are available to borrow if you’re going somewhere that involves a lot of walking and standing around, like a museum.
- If your date is using a cane, they likely only have one arm to hold things. Consider bringing their food/drinks to the table along with yours– let them claim a booth while you get the food!
- Be prepared and willing to be someone’s physical support sometimes, especially if your date is having a rough leg day.
- Be prepared for a Plan B Date: it’s so awesome to have a back-up plan for the date if the day comes around and your person is spoonless. Believe me, it’ll mean a lot.
i just really want to add some from my own experience:
- ask yourself, really ask yourself if you’re fine with plans being cancelled at the last second, cancelled mid-event, and for plans to often be “come over to my house and lump on the couch with me” - if you aren’t? don’t date somebody with chronic pain/fatigue. especially if you will take that sort of thing personally and/or hold it against the person. if you date me, you date my disabilities. i have to deal with them, so do you.
- if you are grocery shopping with someone who uses a mobility aid like a cane or rollator, and that person is pushing the cart? DO. NOT. MOVE. THE CART. while they are using the cart, it is taking the place of their normal mobility aid and moving it is like moving their leg. DON’T DO IT. i have fallen in grocery stores more times than i want to think about due to an ex who couldn’t get it through his head that THIS IS MY CANE RIGHT NOW and would just grab the basket and drag it somewhere.
- if your date says “no, it’s fine, i’ve got it” when you try to do something? let them. just let them. my disabilities takes so much away from me, the things i can actually do are things i am proud of. it makes me feel better to be able to do things for myself. i detest nothing more than an able-bodied person INSISTING on doing something that i can do myself, even though i’ve said multiple times that i’d prefer to do it myself. it says volumes on what that person really thinks of my abilities as a functional human, none of them positive. i get that you’re trying to help, but i promise, taking away what autonomy we do have? not helpful.
- learn to tell your date beforehand what the date will entail. learn to look for the things your date would need to know. i had an ex that never factored in things like “walking half a mile” or “it’s a three story walkup with no elevator” because those things were no problem for him. i, on the other hand, would arrive at the destination crying from pain and unable to enjoy a damn thing - and exhausted in advance by knowing i’d have to repeat the journey just to get back home. don’t be afraid to ask your date what things they need to have taken into consideration. ask what accessibility options are necessary for them when it comes to cane/wheelchair access, how much access there is to regular seating, how much walking will happen, how many stairs there are. if you go to a movie and the only parking is way in the back, ask if they’d rather you drop them up front while you get a spot - because sometimes traversing a large parking lot is the difference between watching a movie and sleeping through it, or being too distracted by pain to follow it. by and large, we know our limitations and it means the world to have someone say “hey i want to take you to this exhibit, i think you’d really enjoy it! there’s several stairs to the entrance and the wheelchair ramp is kind of obnoxiously far away, so it’s either a bunch of walking or deal with stairs to get in there, but once you’re inside there’s a lot of comfortable benches and not a whole lot of walking.” because they thought about how you navigate the environment.
- if your date is using a rollator or wheelchair, make sure your car (or whatever form of transportation you are going to be using) has space to put it. don’t ask me out to the renaissance faire and then show up in a CRX and look confused when i say my rollator can’t go in that so i’ve gotta stay home.
- BE. PATIENT. this shit is unpleasant enough for us already, the last thing any of us need in our lives is another able-bodied asshole making us feel like burdens. we can’t do everything as quickly or as easily or sometimes at all. sometimes we need your help. sometimes we have to cancel plans. even big plans. even big expensive plans. it’s no fun for us either. sometimes we have to back out of shit halfway through because our bodies have absolutely hit the wall and have failed us. i’ve had to abandon a cart full of groceries before and sleep in my car before i could even manage to drive home because my body just gave the fuck out with no warning. can you imagine? just for a second? imagine being young enough to still get carded for booze and your body literally collapses and you have to almost crawl to your car, sitting in the middle of the floor several times on the way. don’t get frustrated with us, we’re doing our best. it’s just harder than you can imagine.
Also remember just because the cane isn’t there doesn’t mean the disability isn’t there. All of these points are still relevant. Be aware. Be considerate.
I want everyone to see this
yes they went to pride together in 2016. yes just the two of them. no i will not elaborate.
[ID: a digital drawing of a polaroid of jon and sasha of the magnus archives standing in front of a light brown wall. jon is a thin dark-skinned british-pakistani person with short slicked back salt and pepper hair. hes wearing glasses, a purple sweater and black trousers. hes smiling awkwardly at the camera. sasha, a light-skinned british-chinese woman, is slightly smaller than him and hugging him with one arm, with the other she is showing the camera a peace sign. she has long dark brown hair thats in a ponytail and is wearing oval red glasses, red earrings, nailpolish and lipstick, a green t-shirt with a sunflower on it and blue jeans. additionally shes wearing trans flag makeup on her cheek, a trans button, armband and a big aromatic flag is tied around her neck. drawings of the ace and aro flag, multiple hearts, stars, sparkles, lines and “a smile?? :0” with an arrow to jon are on the polaroid. on the bottom it reads “Aro-Ace-Solidarity, pride ‘16, london.” end ID.]
Your artstyle is so cute!! Also i love how Jon's "breaking the dress code" outfit has the same colour palate as Shaggy from Scooby Doo... do what u will with this info
that is so interesting of you to say to me anon…
met this precious boy at the park today 🧡
cc: OH GOD
[VD: a video of a coypu with its paws on a persons shoe, it then stands up on its hind legs and sniffs on the persons hand before walking away and then returning for a very close look at the camera. end VD.]
i want more jon and sasha friendship. aro-ace-solidarity. theyre out to each other only and feel safe around each other and crack jokes that fly over the others head and its very wholesome
thanksgiving is a holiday based on a falsified narrative full of white guilt and the erasure of history so what are some good native organizations to donate to this coming thursday
organizations recommended by @loneghostkid
please also consider looking into funding native/tribal food sovereignty projects if you have food to donate or money to spare. friends, please add more if you know of them and have links to provide:
- native american food sovereignty alliance
- meskwaki food sovereignty initiative
- friends of pine ridge reservation
- first nations development institute
you can also buy food/gifts from indigenous sellers or donate to gofundme fundraisers made by indigenous people who need help getting groceries, paying medical bills, or paying rent. do something to help us and our communities.
try water projects too, like the navajo water project: https://www.navajowaterproject.org/
a lot of reservations are fucked over on water by illegal oil drilling, pipelines, or other breaches, like in the navajo rez’s case: contaminated by illegal uranium mining.
I would like to put my endorsement to the Sovereign Bodies Institute, home of the database of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women. The database is trans-inclusive, the data protocols follow the desires of the families of MMIW, and this holiday season, they are collecting donations to buy gifts for the families, especially the children, of missing and murdered women.
PETA: They’d rather spend their money on publicity campaigns than on the animals in their care. PETA killed 73.8% of the animals in their care in 2015 (x)
FCKH8: Is a for-profit company that exploits oppressed groups for money. They’re also wildly uninformed, and spread misogyny, cissexism and bi/panphobia, as well as stealing their posts/designs (x)
Autism Speaks: They spend most of their money on researching a way to eliminate autism, heighten the stigma against autism and don’t have a single autistic person on their board (x)
Please support other, better charities, and feel free to add any others you can think of to this.
Susan G. Komen for the Cure: CEO makes insane amounts of money, they deny a lot of requests for wigs/help with treatment/etc., and have attempted to sue other charities that use the color pink as part of their anti-breast cancer campaign. ( x x x )
^ Important reminder to NOT waste any money donating to these groups
Reblogging because of the added info about Wounded Warrior.
A good way to know if a nonprofit you’re donating to is allocating their money in the right way is to check out their Charity Navigator rating: http://www.charitynavigator.org
Signal boosting, the bell ringers are out in force, and this info is too important.
Charity season is coming up in not even two months, so I feel like this is important to share now before it’s too late.
João Alberto Silveira Freitas was allegedly attacked by security guards at a Carrefour store in Porto Alegre
A black man who died after being beaten by supermarket security guards in the city of Porto Alegre on the eve of Black Consciousness Day has sparked outrage across Brazil after videos of the incident circulated on social media.
Footage showed João Alberto Silveira Freitas being punched in the face just outside the doors of a Carrefour supermarket, late on Thursday. Other clips showed Freitas’ being kneeled on.
Dozens of protesters entered a Carrefour in Brazil’s capital, Brasilia, on Friday morning, chanting “Black lives matter!” One held a sign reading: “Don’t shop at Carrefour. You could die”. Inside another Carrefour in Rio de Janeiro, protesters shouted “Carrefour Killer!” as a black man lay still atop the conveyor belt of a checkout. They forced the store’s closure.
In Sao Paulo, protesters smashed the front window of a Carrefour, scattered goods from shelves all over the store’s floor and set a fire that employees hurried to extinguish.
Everyone, you need to boycott Sia. She is planning to release a movie called Music, which was worked on with Autism Speaks. For those who don’t know Autism Speaks is a autism hate group who pretends to help autistic people, but instead just spreads misinformation about them.
When people called her out for being a hypocritical bitch, she just deflected criticism.
And despite claiming to have done research on this, she didn’t know this is an issue. She’s a liar and doesn’t care about autistic people. As a person with autism, this is insulting and I’m afraid of what misinformation will be spread by her movie. Boycott Sia at all costs, her albums, songs, and especially this movie. Let her know that Autism Speaks does not speak for us.
Chubby Cheek Appreciation 🧡[ID: a digital drawing of jon and martin of the magnus archives in front of a yellow background. jon is a dark skinned british-pakistani person with short salt and pepper hair and a full beard. his skin is covered is scars and hes wearing a green t-shirt. he is smiling, leaning close to martin and squishing his cheeks. above him is a little speech bubble with hearts inside. martin is a light skinned british-polish man with messy blond hair, a bit of facial hair and square glasses. hes wearing a dark tshirt and blushing furiously while looking at jon. end ID.]