chaostheparrot

[chaostheparrot]

[chaostheparrot]

in a kinder world i live in an i spy page

[chaostheparrot]

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone

[chaostheparrot]

New zine that's free for anyone to print and distribute! Read the whole thing at newlevant.com/COVIDzine or in the rest of this post.

[chaostheparrot]

thought this was a dril tweet for a second but no this is just reality now

[chaostheparrot]

You've heard of Dobby Pussy Indulgence. Now get ready for Taylor Swift Vaginal Dryness!

[chaostheparrot]

Dobby Pussy Indulgence HD

[chaostheparrot]

Art Nouveau dragon brooch, enamelled and set with pearls and amethysts.

[chaostheparrot]

(After using the Religion skill to Recall Knowledge on some animated potato plants)

Player 1: “I don’t think Religion is going to help here. They’re not potato gods.”

Player 2: “Well, maybe I’ll learn about the potato gods.”

Player 3: “SPUD FOR THE SPUDGOD! TATERS FOR THE TATOTHRONE!”

[chaostheparrot]

Druid: I'm not going to waterboard the imp! He'd probably enjoy it!

[chaostheparrot]

🎶“working nine to five, what a way to make a killin’, barely gettin’ by,🎶 i am actively deceased”

-reborn death cleric

[chaostheparrot]

Elf: "My name is Amangolo, it's elvish for 'blessed magic'."

Dwarf: "Nice to meetcha. My name is Rex. It's dwarvish for 'he who is named Rex'."

[chaostheparrot]

Cleric: You shot me in the ass!

Ranger: It’s not my fault it’s such a big target!

[chaostheparrot]

(Trying to explain the domains of dread to a new player)

“One day, Strahd did a real big fucky-wucky—”

[chaostheparrot]

(Context: we play as fallen Greek gods and deeded to speak to Apollo?)

Apollo, making a sex joke: sleeping? That's not what BEDS are for.

Me, playing Hypnos, the god of sleep: yes it fucking is?!

[chaostheparrot]

"Ectoplasm does not work as lube."

[chaostheparrot]

Really though, like we've made our cities so uncomfortable even for housed people, just in an effort to hurt the homeless. Parks and beaches close at night so homeless can't sleep there. Loitering is illegal so homeless can't sleep there. No bench at the bus stop because someone might sleep on it. No overnight parking because someone might sleep in the car there.

These laws aren't even beneficial to housed populations of the city, and they purely exist out of a) hatred for the homeless and b) an attempt to make your city look "presentable" to tourists. And it just sucks all-around.