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chaotic-carnifex · 28 minutes
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literally my favorite type of tweet
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chaotic-carnifex · 31 minutes
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last week i saw a comment on reddit that really annoyed me so i replied “touch grass” and then of course instantly forgot about it. except the next day i saw a notification that a different user had replied to my comment saying:
“All these fun expressions that have come with the Internet! Thanks for teaching me a new one. 😊”
i looked at their profile and they’re a self described “cis grandmother”. 7 days later still very much riding high on the euphoria of having introduced somebody’s cis grandmother to “touch grass”.
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chaotic-carnifex · 10 hours
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Sorry my posts haven't been as frequent or funny as usual. It's because I'm eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising
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chaotic-carnifex · 11 hours
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the dinner scale:
food - anything you can grab handfuls of
snack - an item you'd usually never call a meal or part of a meal
ugh-I-can't-even-dinner - a lot of a single item from the previous categories
"dinner" - same as the last but you maybe put it on a plate or used a napkin, you probably wouldn't tell everyone about it, but otherwise no worries bc you're eating plenty
dinner - you purposely prepared something for a meal but still wouldn't tell people about it bc people might thoughtlessly and unfairly criticize you for eating a bowl of plain rice or noodles as a meal
True Dinner - 2 to 4 distinct items you might have prepared in some fashion that complement each other. A sign that you have a LOT of energy and it might also worry you because you wonder how long it will last
Dinner for Other People - likely something between "dinner" and True Dinner that you might never otherwise make and it will exhaust you and the people will enjoy it and think you adept and capable but the next night you might eat a bowl of popcorn and graze leftovers to be super clear: I recommend eating enough to feel well, no matter the form nor manner. People should offer you full respect for doing what you are able to care for yourself, no matter how far it falls from "a proper meal" for more information about getting enough food when you just can't even, try The Sad Bastard Cookbook. I like it because reading it undid all of the "proper" ideas I had about eating and let me throw out the shame I carried around about eating whatever as a meal when times are tough
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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I sometimes still see people tagging #please don't reblog but the post is rebloggable so just making sure you know about this feature:
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It's in the post settings under the little gear wheel in the corner and the options are Anyone or No One
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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GIRL HELP I EVOLVED FRUIT GUMMY AND HES LITERALLY THE SIZE OF MY ENTIRE ROOM
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?
"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?
"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?
"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?
"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?
"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?
Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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god help anyone friends with me on steam today I am about to become insufferable
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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Nameological bullshit in video gaming, ranked:
Pretending you think a video game title which could plausibly be a person's name is the name of the player character
Pretending you think a video game title which couldn't plausibly be a person's name is the name of the player character
Referring to a player character with a canonical first name as "[first name] [title of game]"
As 3, above, but the game's title is very long, and you insist on saying it in full every time you say the player character's name
Making up an unlikely first name for a player character who's called by their title or role and treating the title/role as a last name
Combining 3/4 and 5, above, and referring to the player character as "[incongruous made-up first name] [title of game]"
Insisting that the player character of any game with a title of the form "Mark of [whatever]" is named Mark
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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Therapy is risky because sometimes they'll just ask you their standard "why can't you, though", and you think you're making some good point by saying something like "well if I don't do anything with my life then what's the point of being alive in the first place" and your therapist gets that look on their face and you immediately realise that your dumb ass just got caught, pinned to the ground with your stupid-ass neck between the spikes of a pitchfork, and you are not going to wiggle out of there before you two unpack what the fuck you just said.
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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chaotic-carnifex · 2 days
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neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist
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