charimnun

[charimnun]

I’ve got the career, the house, the relationship, the dog. I have everything that I wanted when I was growing up. Sometimes it’s surreal to think about - just how lucky I’ve gotten in my endeavors. Not everyone gets this lucky and I’m so extremely grateful. I don’t deserve it but I’m greedy and I don’t want to lose this feeling for anything. I am so happy. 

[charimnun]

[charimnun]

Kind of wish you’d show up and surprise me for valentine’s day since you don’t have much planned on your schedule but I know it’s not that easy and I’m just being a big brat. I’m sure practice and a bunch of things I don’t see are taking place. 

better luck next time. 

[charimnun]

i hate to say it but i’m still not really 100% with wooyoung. he came home last night and we talked a little but. something is different, and I know it’s on my end. i feel more lonely than i have in months and of course with this ski trip coming, I just want to curl up with a big blanket and stay in the room. I want to go to vietnam to see my family, or dallas to see some of my friends and it’s really weird not to want to spend every aching moment with wooyoung. I just hurt. and I feel empty and alone, regardless of knowing I’m not. 

[charimnun]

so glad i’m in seoul where i know no one aside from wooyoung and his bandmates and i get to suffer silently while i’m sure he’s being doted on by his group members and painted as the worst boyfriend!!! 

[charimnun]

I hardly slept. I can’t when he’s not with me. I’ve grown so accustomed to him being by my side. I feel really alone, and sad and empty. I keep wondering when he’ll come home. if he’ll come home. I’m too stubborn to reach out right now. I’m still so sensitive and i don’t want to talk about it. the whole situation. I just selfishly want him back, here in my arms. 

he said we’d speak sometime today. i told him i loved him before i went to bed last night and he repeated it. I did nothing but toss and turn. 

I just want to go back to the way things were. 

[charimnun]

You know, after all that, my secret being out, when all is said and down. I didn’t expect you to be cool with it, I expected this reaction. the one thing that pissed me off? “don’t pull the self pity card” i don’t pity myself. i’m not the person you think i am because at this point i hardly feel bad. if you only knew, wooyoung, the things i had to do to get some of that money in the first place you’d be shocked. I don’t feel bad for any man who wanted to debase me simply to get his rocks off. i deserve every penny of it. I worked hard for it. if his wife only knew the things her husband wanted me to do. he’s lucky i’m keeping his secret still. 

but no, go on. take your high road of superiority because you’ve never done one wrong thing in your life. nothing quite so horrible as this. 

i’ll sit in my “self pity” and fucking wallow. 

[charimnun]

well fuck

[charimnun]

love having a sugar daddy without the sugar. This month’s check just got deposited and I can’t wait to go out and buy new things for the house. I’m honestly kind of thankful that wooyoung doesn’t know the monetary amount of money I make in a year. It makes it that much easier to cover up and disguise as drag money. 

[charimnun]

or maybe too boring... I'm feeling boring and needy lately and I really hate myself because of it. Why am I feeling like this? I wish it would stop.

I feel like I’m becoming too much. It’s too good to be true isn’t it? 

[charimnun]

I feel like I’m becoming too much. It’s too good to be true isn’t it? 

[charimnun]

man, i’ve got rings, houses and marriage on my mind. these two months are going to be the death of me. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love wooyoung. i never thought it was possible to love another person this way. i feel whole and happy and taken care of and i admire this man so much. he’s truly so good for me. he’s patient with me, he doesn’t mind when i go off the deep end, get mouthy or angry too quickly. he accepts me. he loves me. 

i am whole. 

[charimnun]

okay FINE i jumped the gun and got snippy when i shouldn’t have the other night. he’s not so bad and was attempting to joke around. okay fate demons, i see you out here working your magic I’M SORRY i’m overdramatic, i know. 

he’s not so bad. 

[charimnun]

suddenly we’re talking about how nice it is to finally be domestic and be in my own house and have more than four days at a time to spend with one another since august and my heart is in my throat. we’re talking about engagement rings, i’m showing him my favorite styles and we’re really out here /talking/ about this shit. 

I’ve never had this healthy of a relationship in my life and my mind is blown because it’s so easy to be with him and talk about these things when I would have flipped the fuck out for even talking about dating someone a year ago. I love him. I want to marry him someday. And apparently this ‘someday’ doesn’t have to be that far along into the future. 

I am so happy. And I can’t wait to spend these next couple of months with you, uninterrupted, unbothered. we can finally be free to do what we want in an unrushed amount of time. I could burst I’m so happy. 

[charimnun]

bitch take your demeaning ass comments somewhere else i’m pretty sure wooyoung and I make more than your networth combined. 

bye. 

[charimnun]

I want to be woken up with your hand over my mouth & your dick in my ass*

#nsfw.

[charimnun]

What if you cum inside me... and continue fucking me... until you cum again... haha jk... unless?...

#nsfw;