charlieees-chaos

[charlieees-chaos]

the sadness is settling in for the season.

[charlieees-chaos]

15 years

what was the point?

left me hanging in the balance,

the ultimate slap in the face,

you’re a fucking disgrace.

you had to find a scapegoat,

to keep yourself afloat,

too blind to see,

i’m not the enemy.

i never faltered,

never faded,

but you couldn’t let it go,

you just had to deliver,

that final blow.

are you happy?

did it make you feel good?

do you tell everyone,

just how right you think you are?

can’t imagine you far from that posse

but they’ll always be frosty, to

miss sunshine on the outside,

trying to hide the rain,

you had me fooled,

you made me miss it.

but I see you, now,

lonely, dark, and threatened,

can’t let that hometown show,

or else everyone will know,

who you really are.

#spilled poem #spilled words #spilled ink #fuck you #friendship breakup #poems on tumblr #poemsbyme #poets corner

[charlieees-chaos]

when life is going well, too well, i live in constant fear that something awful is lurking around the corner so that I can't stay happy for too long.

#fucked up thoughts #spilled words #mental health

[charlieees-chaos]

“You never realize how much someone means to you, until you mean nothing to them.”

— William Chapaman

[charlieees-chaos]

watching someone you love suffer through unimaginable grief is one of the worst kinds of pain. all you want to do is take it away, instead you're helpless.

#grief #pain #friendship #helpless

[charlieees-chaos]

i know you dont miss me

the stages of me trying to get over the fact that you were my best friends but my friendship was disposable to you. hope you’re happy without me: a playlist

[charlieees-chaos]

15 years.

What was the point?

Left me hanging in the balance,

The ultimate slap in the face,

You’re a fucking disgrace.

You had to find a scapegoat,

To keep yourself afloat,

Too blind to see,

I’m not the enemy.

I never faltered,

Never faded,

But you couldn’t let it go,

You just had to deliver,

That final blow.

Are you happy?

Did it make you feel good?

Do you tell everyone,

Just how right you think you are?

Can’t imagine you far from that posse

But they’ll always be frosty, to

Miss Sunshine on the outside,

Trying to hide the rain,

You had me fooled,

You made me miss it.

But I see you, now,

Lonely, dark, and threatened,

Can’t let that hometown show,

Or else everyone will know,

Who you really are.

#spilled poem #spilled words #poem #words #friendship breakup #poets corner

[charlieees-chaos]

not everyone is worthy of your love.

“Perhaps the problem is not the intensity of your love but the quality of the people you are loving.”

— Warsan Shire

[charlieees-chaos]

grieving all of the happiest moments you thought you'd experience with your ex-best friend is an unusual kind of grief. she's pregnant and I'm devastated.

[charlieees-chaos]

letting go was one of the hardest things i've had to do. you completely blindsided me.

[charlieees-chaos]

You got through the days you worried most about, you got through the weeks you were anxious about, and you got through the months you felt at your worst. Take a moment to be proud of yourself for that, and maybe even reward yourself. I believe in you for going through and doing well in the moments you still have ahead of you.

[charlieees-chaos]

[charlieees-chaos]

today i unfriended and unfollowed my ex-best friend. it was cathartic to let go. finally and completely remove her from my life. to stop holding on to the idea that i should retain this virtual friendship "just in case". she doesn't deserve my friendship.

#friendship breakup #spilled thoughts

[charlieees-chaos]

“Time always exposes what you mean to someone.”

— Unknown

[charlieees-chaos]

“People go but how they left always stays.”

— Rupi Kaur

[charlieees-chaos]

Sweet girl wears the Crown,

Tries not to let anyone down,

Expected to impress,

Never give anything less,

The Crown must not fall.

She is the rock,

Always there to talk,

Loyal as the day is long,

Must show that she belongs,

The Crown must not fall.

Talented, determined, bright,

She thinks she’s just alright,

Insecure, anxious, and scared,

She must always be prepared,

The Crown must not fall.

People crumble around her,

Grasping, gasping, it’s such a blur,

Never feels quite right,

Chasing an end that’s not in sight,

The Crown must not fall.

Must keep filling their cups,

Keep them from blowing up,

Soon she’ll get burned,

But will she ever learn,

The Crown must not fall.

#spilled thoughts #mental health #poets corner #spilled poetry #perfectionism #anxious #poets on tumblr

[charlieees-chaos]

if you have friends that moved away, made something of themselves, and out grew you but you feel threatened by that - grow the fuck up, it's not about you.

#grow up #friends #rant