these words are bones
rattling in my fist, pennies
tossed in faith -
i used to believe in
something after this, broken
promise, another life
now post-modern thoughts
almost kisses on cold reflection,
breath is relative, love
a dead relation i’d wish back
if water was the kind to give
to hope, live again in
these shaky hollows resonating with how i’m made
of, countless little pieces
such worries, when things will be
what they ever, will
come down, come down with me
see the world going, still
don’t miss me now, behind the sun
when day is, done
i don’t write poems anymore.
i think about it, but it never happens.
i still collect words here and there, just in case,
but,
i have run out of language to convey them.
this new reality feels insincere,
clinging to me like an indolent child.
i’m left with a profound sense of sadness
-closing the door.
almost done
becoming the older generation
everyone i’ve ever known seems to have wandered away
incrementally straying to parts unknown
living and dying, without a word
we’re all orphans eventually
no place to rest our unattended heart
drifters passing through ghost towns
-our days of ago, a dalliance
just around the next corner
watered down moon
light into mercury
grey, a midnight pools
the charcoal pavement
or silver afternoons
reflecting rippled memory
the soul of then, of now
-of summers lost when
hearts were broken
much too soon
I am
four hours of sleep
meets, uncounted cups of coffee
meets, my fascination with the rain
dripping from the roof
I have finally given in to January
with its thirty one small surrenders
and its thousand shades of overcast
bartered, from the sun
these januaries are stacking up.
i've a pile in the corner.
they're imperceptible to everyone but me,
and i have run out of ways to ignore them.
i do sometimes manage to forget,
manage to overlook the relentless calendar
- flapping
its pages fluttering, mocking me
with a naive promise of spring.
we're all falling.
some more than others.
plunging toward nth degrees,
ensnared by fashionable ideology,
chasing the unfamiliar to its
obsolescence.
voices clamoring repetitive,
crowds of conjecture in sync.
the faces move lifelike,
but i no longer listen.
re-creations made in their own image,
self-replicating multitudes -heedless.
I expected to wake to a frozen landscape this morning, but instead the gods of winter moved along somewhere to the north. It is cold, and it is wet, my least favorite combination of weather.
I have been attempting to write a poem this morning while there is still time. Time enough before my quiet space becomes filled with the noisy demands of this regular, everyday- day. I’m not feeling particularly creative this morning, and writes about cold rain with frozen toes, really don't seem worth the effort.
I’m unsure who this pointless ramble is meant for, or why I am bothering to write it out at all except that- all of these things I write- We write, Feel like messages in bottles, tossed into the ocean. My expectation is that they never wash up against any discernible shore. Or if they do, then it must be some deserted island awash with unopened bottles.
I didn’t win the Lottery again, even though I dreamed I had the winning numbers and jumped up in the middle of the night to quickly scribble them down before reality snatched them away from me. Afterward I sat there on the side of my bed trying to hold on to that feeling. That feeling I used to carry around with me all of the time. The feeling that anything was possible, at least until you checked the numbers.