feeling really strange mentally and disconnected from cardiophilia and kink like Iāve had some shit experiences lately and itās just giving me anxiety and making me feel really uncomfortable
on a break Iāll be back eventually <3
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lol been crying for like 3 hours solid i hate my life
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wanna kms lol
kind a joking kinda not
imagine I go on 3 dates with a guy and HE RANDOMLY BLOCKS ME TONIGHT AFTER CONSTANTLY TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME and wants to see me all the time and is falling in love with me?!! excuse me?!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUCKKKK
sorry to rant but yeah I am very much not mentally well atm so extending my hiatus, sorry
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doing okay mentally now but still need a couple days to recharge ahhh sorry i will be back and i will reply to dms when Iām back <3
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hi so the guy i went on a date with ghosted me lol i knew it was too good to be true š
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mental health is horrendous sorry if Iām a bit absent, really not coping
BPD + anxiety + autism + ADHD= one hell of a ride lol and I am really not well right now, sorry
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Iāll get back to everyoneās messages soon Iāve just busy sorry!!
š©·
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yes yes yes yes YES
Donāt you just want someone to take you by the hand into the bedroom, and they pop out their stethoscope, and you lay down on the bed, with your bare chest just ready to be stethed and you know that your heart is ready to be listened to?
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i feel the same way!
genuinely so grateful for all of you, this community is so accepting ā¤ļø i always thought i was "weird" for being so obsessed with something like this but i'm glad to know i'm not alone. you're all very polite and you make my days better :)
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Btw sorry if I take a while to reply to anyone, Iām playing The Sims *3* (best Sims game, facts) rn and I get really absorbed and lose track of time ahahah ADHD life!!
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I want someone to choke me so hard that I stop breathing and my heart starts to struggle, and only let go of me JUST before my heart gives out and stops beating
but everyone Iāve suggested to is like āno thatās crazy Iām not doing it Iām not risking an abuse or manslaughter chargeā lol boringggg
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my pretty little pump has calmed down now Iāve had some rest, a warm long shower, and have a nice full stomach lol and Iām cosy in my bed. sheās still beating hard, as I expect thereās still drugs in my bloodstream oof. but sheās slower and steadier now. I will protect my heart donāt worry, will be doing drugs a lottt less frequently because of my physical and mental wellbeing.
I wish I had someone with me rn to ear steth me and tell me in detail about every beat they hear, with a hand placed gently on my chest to feel my heart contract and expand, pumping blood through my body with every beat, keeping me alive. hearts are so fascinating and magical and I wish I had someone irl to enjoy this with me :( also I want someone to cuddle me with their head on my chest or belly, so they can hear my heartbeat and breathing (and belly sounds but thatās not something that turns me on at all, its itās relaxing sometimes maybe idk Iām weird)
anyway, long ass ramble over. my melatonin is staring to kick in and Iām very sleepy. goodnight <3
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throwback from last year š
Beats from this morningā¦sorry for any background noise, it was raining and there were cars going by. Also thereās static and itās not great quality because iām recording with my phoneās mic, sorry! <3Ā
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sorry the quality is horrific you might have to turn up your volume to hear it. I really wanted to record my heartbeat for you guys but all I have to record is my phone mic so it's not great haha but hope you enjoy anyway...
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I went to a rave last night by the way lol it was so much fun!! but Iām dealing with the consequences today haha
heart is racing and palpitating like crazy omg it feels like itās going to come out, itās really struggling rn because of āØsubstancesāØ lol oops I know I shouldnāt keep doing this and after today Iām going to stop for a long time. It feels good but also pretty uncomfortable lol
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I do NOT feel good lol who wants to be my doctor? ahaha itās my fault I feel this shitty but ughhhhh
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